Podcast Summary: Totally Booked with Zibby

Episode: Finding Yourself with Blair Glaser
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Blair Glaser (author, leadership consultant, and psychotherapist)
Date: April 2, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode features an in-depth conversation between Zibby Owens and Blair Glaser about Blair’s new memoir, This Incredible Longing: Finding Myself in a Near Cult Experience. The discussion centers around Blair’s journey of self-discovery during her time in an ashram in the 1990s, her path from acting to writing and therapy, the impact of meditation and spiritual practices on mental health, her approach to memoir writing, and the broader themes of identity, healing, and resilience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Blair Glaser’s Ashram Experience

• Setting the Stage (02:03)
  • Blair introduces her memoir, recounting how it chronicles her years living in an ashram in her 20s during the 1990s, at a time when mental health awareness was limited (04:43).
• A Defining Coincidence (02:24–04:02)
  • She describes a pivotal moment, ten years after leaving the ashram, when she stumbles upon a hot dog shop playing music from her guru. This experience prompts her to deeply reflect on her ashram years and their ongoing impact.
• Spiritual Identity and Near-Cult Dynamics (04:43)
  • Blair distinguishes her experience from stereotypical “cult” narratives: “What I gave myself was time to, yes, leave my life and go live in an ashram so that I could build skills to live in the world as an adult. And I did.” (05:45)

Navigating Depression and Finding Self

• The State of Mental Health in the 90s (04:43)
  • Blair reflects on the lack of language and resources for depression then and how spiritual practices helped—“Meditation started to fulfill me, and I wanted to get more involved.”
• A Happy Ending? (06:18)
  • “So it’s a happy ending, really,” Zibby observes. “It really is,” replies Blair (06:20).

Career Evolution: From Acting to Writing and Therapy

• Winding Paths and Discovering Talents (06:21–07:11)
  • Blair shares a moving story about a failed audition, her transition to the ashram, and discovering her strengths: “I really thought when I arrived at the ashram that I was broken. But what I kept getting from the people in the community was, no, you’re good at writing…You’re good with people.” (07:11)
• Therapy and Performance (08:09–08:23)
  • Blair explains how her acting background informs her current executive coaching, emphasizing role-play and the “impact vs. inflammation” principle: “Being able to lead has to do with performance...how you have conversations that deliver impact rather than…more inflammation.” (08:46)

Family Concerns and Healing

• Family Fears and Support (09:00–09:52)
  • Blair discusses her Jewish upbringing, her family’s discomfort with ashram life, their insistence on therapy, and the role of family in her healing journey.
• Leaving on Her Own Terms (09:08)
  • “I knew that I needed to stay there until I was done...I actually left when I felt like I got what I needed, but they really fought to get me out.”

Lessons from Meditation and Discipline

• Modern Applications of Ancient Practices (10:36–11:38)
  • Blair highlights the science-backed benefits of meditation and self-regulation:

    “Meditation is not a tool to escape your life. It’s a tool to bear it.” (10:36)
    “I really trust myself to deal with and handle stressful situations...I know how to tolerate that anxiety.” (11:23)

• Advice for Today’s Anxious Youth (12:04–13:01)
  • She suggests that while the times are different and a full ashram stint isn’t practical for most, it’s vital for young people to find individual practices to calm their nervous system—be it music, sports, or creative focus.

Reflection and the Writing Process

• On Modern Attention and Reflection (13:17)
  • Citing Michael Pollan, Blair laments our lost culture of inner reflection due to digital distraction:

    “We are now being robbed of this time to be with our thoughts and to reflect on our thoughts…We can show up for ourselves in the same way.” (13:17)

• Writing the Memoir: Process and Inspiration (14:22–16:48)
  • Blair began the book in 2018, finishing a draft six years later.

    “Once I really found the permission to just tell a story without explaining it…my voice just really started to gel…and that was a great process for me to go through.” (14:53)

  • Inspiration ranged from memoirs like Wild, The Glass Castle, The Liars Club—but structurally, Ann Patchett’s The Dutch House was her key model for weaving inner reflection with forward momentum (17:02–18:07).

Publishing Journey & Writing Advice

• Traditional Publishing Goals (20:03)
  • Blair wanted the validation of a traditional publisher, eventually signing with Heliotrope, a respected small press.

• Advice to Aspiring Memoirists (19:23)

  “I really believe in understanding why you want to tell it, who you want to tell it to, and what you want the book to do for you…If you know why you want to write it…and what you want publishing it to do for you, I think it will help you through how hard it is to get your book published.” (19:23)

Future Work and Final Thoughts

• What’s Next? (18:27–19:18)
  • Blair intends to write more books, including a forthcoming essay, “My Three Dog Ters,” in the 2027 anthology Every Mother’s Daughter.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Near-Cult Experiences:

  “...the subtitle to This Incredible Longing is finding myself in a near cult experience. And I do think that that's a difference from the ‘I got sucked into a cult’ or spiritual practice story...What I gave myself was time to...build skills to live in the world as an adult. And I did.”
  — Blair Glaser (05:45)

• On the Function of Meditation:

  “Meditation is not a tool to escape your life. It’s a tool to bear it.”
  — Blair Glaser (10:36)

• Performance and Leadership:

  “Being able to lead has to do with performance...conversations that deliver impact rather than...inflammation. And so role playing comes in really handy.”
  — Blair Glaser (08:46)

• The Danger of Losing Reflection:

  “We are now being robbed of this time to be with our thoughts and to reflect on our thoughts…adds to the anxiety because we don’t have ourselves as a trustful resource.”
  — Blair Glaser (13:17)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 02:03 | Blair summarizes her memoir’s premise | | 04:43 | Depression and spiritual searching in the 1990s | | 06:47 | Transition from acting; discovering new talents | | 08:46 | How acting informs her executive coaching | | 09:08 | Family’s concerns about her ashram period | | 10:36 | Meditation as a tool for resilience | | 12:04 | Advice for anxious youth and alternatives to ashrams | | 13:17 | The modern crisis of reflection and attention | | 14:22 | Blair’s writing journey—a six-year process | | 17:02 | Literary inspirations, especially The Dutch House | | 19:23 | Memoir writing advice for aspiring authors | | 20:03 | Publishing journey and choosing Heliotrope | | 18:59 | Preview of her forthcoming anthology essay |

Tone and Closing

The conversation is candid, reflective, and supportive—marked by Zibby’s warmth and curiosity, and Blair’s thoughtful, gentle candor. Their rapport offers comfort and insight for listeners navigating their own journeys of identity, healing, and creativity.

“You just have this way of talking that’s so comforting. Like, I find myself just listening to you being like, 'You’re right. You’re so right.'” — Zibby Owens (14:05)

For more author interviews and literary insights, follow @totallybookedwithzibby and visit zibbymedia.com.