Totally Booked with Zibby

Episode: Ilana Kurshan, CHILDREN OF THE BOOK: A Memoir of Reading Together
Date: August 26, 2025
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Ilana Kurshan

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt episode, Zibby Owens sits down with acclaimed memoirist Ilana Kurshan to delve into her new book, Children of the Book: A Memoir of Reading Together. Kurshan shares the inspiration behind her exploration of parenthood, Jewish tradition, and the power of shared reading. This conversation traverses topics like the literary foundations of family connection, parenting as a sacred journey, and the everyday rituals that turn books into the language of home life. Kurshan also reflects on living and raising her family in Jerusalem, finding meaning and solace through stories amid times of upheaval.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Inspiration and Structure of Children of the Book

[04:15–07:11]

• Kurshan describes the memoir as one about “the closeness forged when family life unfolds against the backdrop of reading together” ([04:15]).
• She interweaves her experiences reading with her children—everything from Goodnight Moon to Charlotte’s Web—with her lifelong Jewish practice of reading the Torah.
• Living in Jerusalem and raising bilingual children led her to deliberately instill a love of English-language literature within her family.
• The book’s narrative arc moves “from paradise to the Promised Land”—from first readings with newborns to the bittersweet moment children read independently ([05:50]).
• Kurshan notes, “It’s about parenthood as a sacred journey, a journey that maps out onto the Bible’s narrative. And it’s also an exploration of how we learn to read our kids by reading with them” ([06:37]).

How Shared Reading Evolves with Parenthood

[07:11–09:37]

• Zibby and Ilana discuss how rereading childhood classics, like A Wrinkle in Time, transforms as you shift from child to parent perspective.
• Kurshan observes, “So many books that I thought of in a certain way from my childhood read so differently when I reread them as a parent and suddenly focused on the experience of the parent” ([07:37]).
• Each child brings different insights to the same book, making every reading feel unique.
• Memorable moment: “Every time, children notice something different and you learn about your child through what their insights are... It’s sort of a controlled experiment because it’s the same book and yet it doesn’t read the same way each time” ([08:47]).

Practical Rituals: Fitting Reading into Family Life

[09:37–15:30]

• Kurshan bakes reading into daily routines: mealtimes, under strollers, waiting for appointments, and even during challenging transitions (haircuts, tantrums).
• She adapted the Jewish tradition of using a “stender” (book stand for sacred texts) for children’s books at the kitchen table ([09:59]).
• Reading aloud becomes a parenting strategy—a way to redirect focus, provide comfort, or calm meltdowns.
• Ilana describes building a “common language of literary allusions” within her family.
• Touching anecdote: Her son, after reading the Ms. Nelson Is Missing series, knowingly repeats a refrain from the book in real life, bringing laughter and connection ([13:48]).

The Intimacy and Power of Shared Texts

[15:30–17:58]

• Zibby and Kurshan agree that letting kids “catch you reading” is vital to raising readers.
• “There’s something very intimate about reading the same text at the same time as someone else... It creates a real sense of closeness” – Ilana Kurshan ([16:13]).
• Shared reading smooths the bedtime routine: “Once I turned bedtime into my own reading time, all the stress went away... I’m gonna sit here and read... Win, win” – Zibby Owens ([16:40]).
• Ilana shares her own Torah-chanting bedtime ritual, which doubles as a calming tactic: “Eventually, at some point, my kids get so sick of it, of hearing the same verses. ‘Okay, okay, you can leave now.’” ([17:22])

Parenting, Fear, and Life in Israel

[17:58–26:39]

• Zibby invites Ilana to discuss what it’s like raising a family in Jerusalem, especially amid heightened tensions.
• Kurshan reflects on the intense but enriching nature of Jerusalem, where “the air is saturated with prayers and dreams” ([18:41]).
• She treasures living in a society where Jewish culture, study, and the Hebrew calendar are integral to the rhythms of life.
• Kurshan’s first book chronicled her seven-and-a-half-year experience reading the entire Talmud—a feat she credits to Jerusalem’s culture of study ([20:28]).
• On living with fear: “As a parent you just realize that your role is just to be a buffer between your children and their fears. And... you always just have to project an air of calmness... at some point you just start to feel it” ([25:00]).
• Family rituals—reading stories, praying, singing psalms together—offer solace and unity during moments spent in the safe room ([25:24]).

How the Book Was Written: Insights and Structure

[26:39–33:33]

• Kurshan describes her writing process as organic—born from daily life, simple moments, and reflections sparked by the overlaps between children’s literature and Torah.
• Early insight: reading black-and-white board books to a newborn evoked the biblical creation story (God separating light from darkness). “I realized that each time I read this black and white book with my daughter, it was as if I were drawing back the darkness so that the light might appear distinct and her world might sharpen into focus” ([27:17]).
• She likens giving children the gift of literacy to the Israelites’ liberation in Exodus: “A lot of children’s books’ theme is how literacy sets you free and literacy enables you to survive and the miracles wrought by reading and writing” ([32:23]).
• The memoir is structured around the five books of Moses, with each section pairing biblical themes with related children’s book experiences.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the power of rereading with children:
  “Every time, children notice something different and you learn about your child through what their insights are. And it’s sort of a controlled experiment because it’s the same book and yet it doesn’t read the same way each time.”
  — Ilana Kurshan ([08:47])

• On building family culture with books:
  “I hope that it has resulted in a common language of literary allusions where I feel like a lot of the connections that I have with my children are allusions to books that we have read together.”
  — Ilana Kurshan ([12:27])

• On the intimacy of reading together:
  “There’s something very intimate about reading the same text at the same time as someone else… where your minds are in the same place and it creates a real sense of closeness.”
  — Ilana Kurshan ([16:13])

• On parenting and fear in uncertain times:
  “As a parent you just realize that your role is just to be a buffer between your children and their fears... and my children… when we, when we do have to be in a safe room for whatever reason we tend to focus on, you know, usually either I’ll read to my children or… they like to pray… There's something very calming about that. It's almost like reading together and being on the same page.”
  — Ilana Kurshan ([25:00])

• On the gift of literacy and the Exodus:
  “A lot of children’s books’ theme is how literacy sets you free… Charlotte writing in her web… Matilda being able to free Miss Honey when she’s able to write with her eyes… It really made me think of all the signs and wonders in the Exodus story and how the whole journey throughout the book of Exodus is for the sake of being able… to receive this book, this narrative, the Torah.”
  — Ilana Kurshan ([32:23])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction and book inspiration: [04:02–07:11]
• Rereading children’s classics as a parent: [07:11–09:37]
• Reading rituals and literary allusions in family life: [09:37–15:30]
• The intimacy of sharing books and bedtime routines: [15:30–17:58]
• Parenting, fear, and cultural rhythms of Jerusalem: [17:58–26:39]
• How the memoir took shape & tying children’s books to Torah themes: [26:39–33:33]
• Conclusion and thanks: [33:33–33:52]

Episode Tone and Language

Warm, wise, and deeply reflective. Zibby approaches the interview with personal resonance and curiosity, while Ilana shares poetic insights, personal anecdotes, and a nuanced view of how literature forms familial and spiritual bonds.

Summary Takeaways

This episode is a celebration of reading as a ritual that connects generations, cultures, and sacred traditions. Kurshan’s blend of memoir and literary commentary offers a blueprint for mindful, meaningful parenting and living—making this episode essential listening for book-loving families and anyone seeking comfort in the shared world of stories.