A (3:48)

Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

B (3:50)

Yay. Okay, tell listeners your backstory before we even get into the recipes and all the ins and outs of how to have a great party and make people feel welcome and hospitality and all of that. I was so interested in how you grew up and how you found your place sort of at the table and your identity and, you know, that you were a shy kid and all that. So take us back so that we can get here.

A (4:13)

Yeah. So I grew up in Queens, and it was just like, food was always such a huge passion of mine. It's not something I really thought that I was gonna pursue professionally. And as I just got older in high school, I was a very shy kid. I wasn't a very popular kid, and I just became obsessed with Food Network. Just I would just come home from school and watch it for hours. And I started throwing these little dinner parties for my friends and. And actually more so dinner parties for people I wanted to become friends with. And it was this way that I actually learned how to grow community and truly, like, socialize and all of these things that were so difficult for me. And honestly, because of that, I really came to terms with fact that, like, food was the only thing I was going to do, only thing I could do. And. And I only applied to one college, and that was the Culinary Institute of America. And I kind of kicked off my journey to working in restaurants and quickly transitioning into media, running test kitchens for food magazines, and then very luckily, quickly into writing cookbooks. And so this is my third and the one that was the hardest to write, but also I think the most fun.

B (5:25)

Aw, I love that. Can I just read a little bit from your introduction? Because I just found it fun.

A (5:29)

Please.

B (5:30)

So moving. You said I need community like I need air, but it doesn't come as easily as breathing. My learning curve began in high school when I hosted my first dinner party for some friends armed with printouts of Ina Garten's recipes for ratatouille and Parmesan polenta. While the recipes were solid, my execution was not. And then I'm going to fast forward, you said. But none of that mattered. It was the first time this group of teenagers had a home cooked meal made by one of their peers. We got to cosplay as adults, talking about life and first loves and the intense feeling of being on the cusp of adulthood. To my surprise, after I cooked for people, it seemed that they liked me more, so I liked me more. That holds true to this day. And I can trace my love of cooking, recipe creation and hosting back to that first gathering. Nothing is quite as soul filling as inviting people over and feeding them a meal that you cook to yourself. And then you also said I'd always struggled with feelings of not being worthy of friends or love. The confident Jake you see on Social or in these pages today is not the Jake I was in high school. I was a shy boy struggling with my weight and sexuality at the same time, all while juggling to figure out how to build the community I so desperately craved. That dinner party was the first time my doubting inner voice was silenced. I love that. That's so amazing.

A (6:44)

Yeah. And it really, like it's still true to this day. It's something that I talk a lot about when it comes to hosting and entertaining. I think people get in their head a lot of stress around it. And the comparison. I always say it's like when you go to a yoga class and you can't touch your toes, which is like, I can't touch my toes. You don't beat yourself up. You know that you're there on a journey towards getting more flexible. And it's more so about you're grateful that you did show up versus beating yourself up for not being able to do a split or a headstand. And I just think we need a.

B (7:19)

I actually feel like when I go to yoga and can't do anything, I just don't go back to yoga. So maybe that's the wrong. That's the wrong attitude.

A (7:26)

But some people feel that way about cooking, too. And my whole thing is, like, it's a practice. It's a discipline, and you're not necessarily going to just knock it out of the park the first time. But that doesn't matter. As long as there's food on the table and people you love, it's going to be a great time. And that's why I wanted to create a book that really could help bridge the gap for everything else from, like, your grocery list to, like, your timeline of how do I actually organize myself to host a dinner party?

B (7:52)

Yes. And you tell us with music and, you know, making even the formality of an invitation something as simple as a paperless post or just putting some occasion and some festivity around the event from start to finish. And then, of course, the menus are so great. I am determined to make these Parker House rolls. They look so. I mean, oh, my gosh, they're really good.

A (8:12)

They're really good. Brown butter. And the whole thing was. It's like you make you just brown a ton of butter, and you. Some of it in the dough. In the dough itself for the Parker rolls, Parkhouse rolls, and then the rest of it, you whip up with honey to spread on top, which is really just lovely.

B (8:26)

Oh, my gosh. So tell me a little bit more. It's one thing to say, okay, I'm gonna start cooking for friends, and I can't make ratatouille. And it's another to have a million followers in this whole empire thing that you've built. So go back a little bit into the thing that you went by really quickly and how you got here.

A (8:48)

I left restaurants. I worked at Danielle and ABC Kitchen here in Manhattan. And it was such an incredible experience. It just was something that I knew very early on. My dream wasn't to own a restaurant. My dream wasn't to run a restaurant. My dream wasn't to be in that world. My dream was always to be in media. So I took an internship at Saver magazine and worked my way up onto the masthead. And from there, I think that was really, like, the beginning of social and really seeing the power of it. The power of it in terms of networking within the industry, the power in terms of getting eyes on me and my recipes. It was just a really great opportunity to start to grow. While a lot of the editors were like, they couldn't be bothered. They thought it was stupid. They thought they were above it, and it Ended up being the thing that got me my next job, which was like I was the food editor of a website called Tasting Table. And it was just this incredible kind of like game of Plinko that social was always this through line of that. I continued to grow. And again, when I got my first book deal, I had 70,000 followers. It was a tiny deal. No one thought it was gonna be like this huge success. They thought it was just gonna be like a nice little niche book for the catalog. And I knew it was gonna be a hit because I'm delusional. Like, I just, I. When I have my mindset on something, it's just, it's gonna happen and there's no other option. And so I just kind of blew it out of the water. I knew what I wanted to do social wise to help promote it. And that was like I did 18 days of giveaways and Instagram lives with celebrities. Actually, the craziest thing is looking back, I think one of them was I was making latkes with Gracie Abrams and Benny Blanco cooking from the book. And it's just like looking now back at that. It's kind of wild, but it was just really fun. And I think that the best part is I know these recipes are amazing. I know what I'm great at, I know what I'm not great at. And recipe development is something I love. And I will always, like, make sure that these are recipes that not only you want to make, but you can make. And most importantly, that you want to tell everyone in your life about. Because the cookbook world, much like I would say the book world in general is still this, this industry that is so rooted in word of mouth. It is about recommendation from your community. So when you create something that people love, they tell all their friends, they buy copies for their friends, and it really does become this like network of spreading like wildfire. And I love that. I think it's really, it's really an honor because then it just means that my recipes become so intertwined in like a family's culinary lexicon.

B (11:38)

Love it. Well, you also include celebrities in this book, including Jill Zarin and Katie Couric, who have been on this podcast and friendly with Jill. Very good friends with Jill.

A (11:48)

We love Jill.

B (11:49)

Jill and Allie. I mean, yeah, was just anyway, which is great. You also really focus on Shabbat, which I love and is so needed right now, and the power of Shabbat dinners and that we have this built into our culture that every Friday we should be hosting a party and like why not just blow it out of the water? So talk a little bit about Shabbat and the meaning of that to you.

A (12:11)

Yeah, Shabbat was like my entryway into dinner parties as an adult. And in the same way that I, I did this, like, I had this exercise in high school to build community. What happened was, is in my 20s, I was so focused on work. I was so like, head down in work in my last relationship. And I really spent no time building community that a lot of people do in their 20s. And it got to a point where it was like, what do I do? How do I make friends? How do I be an adult? How do I do all of these things that I wanted again? And I wanted a new version. I wanted the adult friends, I wanted the gay friends, I wanted the Jewish friends. And so I turned to Shabbat and it became this really incredible opportunity. I got involved with this organization called One Table, which I'm now on the board of. And it's this awesome nonprofit that helps people in their 20s and 30s really create a sustainable Shabbat practice, lowering the barrier to entry by helping pay for groceries or give you all of the materials you need, or help you buy a table if you need help, anything to make it happen. And for me, that was so important because I got to understand the ancient Jewish wisdom around gathering those you love and being present with them over a meal. And we do that at Shabbat because it's this incredible ritual that we've inherited. But very much like how yoga is a Hindi practice that everyone does because it's good for you. I feel that Shabbat is the same way. It is a practice of self care and community and intention and presence that is good for everyone, both Jewish and not. And so while this book is not, it's my first not inherently Jewish book, obviously. There's so much, so many Jewish recipes, there are many Jewish menus. It is really about taking the idea that what we have is universal.

B (14:06)

I love that. I know every Friday I'm like, this is the easiest sell. It's like wine and bread, candles and friends and family. Like, this is the easiest thing ever, right? Anyway, so when you try to get people together and everything and put Shabbat dinners and all of this together in this very complicated time that we're living.

A (14:26)

In.

B (14:28)

How has the external world and everything that's happened affected your intentions, your beliefs? Do you double down on Shabbat now? Post, like, what has changed since October 7th? And how has the publishing of this book versus your last books. How has that felt different? If it has you open the fridge, there's nothing there. So what's it gonna be? Greasy pizza? Sad Drive Thru Burgers? Dish by Blue Apron is for nights like that. These are the pre made meals of your dreams. At least 20 grams of protein. No artificial flavors or colors. No chopping. No cleanup. No guilt. Keep the flavor. Ditch the subscription. Get 20% off your first two orders with code APRON20. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blue apron.com terms for more. If you love to travel, Capital One has a rewards credit card that's perfect for you. With the Capital One Venture X card, you earn unlimited double miles on every single you buy. Plus you get premium benefits at a collection of luxury hotels when you book on Capital One Travel. And with Venture X you get access to over 1,000 airport lounges worldwide. Open up a world of travel possibilities with a Capital One Venture X card. What's in your wallet?

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Terms apply. Lounge access is subject to change. See capitalone.com for details. The market's uncertain, revenues tight and hiring on hold. That's why results driven companies are using upwork to keep work moving. Go to upwork.com today and start hiring proven freelance talent fast. No bulky overhead. No rigid long term contracts. Just the right expert right when you need them. Work smarter and faster with Upwork. Go to Upwork.com now and find your freelance expert that's up w o r k.com post a job for free and get started today. Yeah, it's always different. I'll say. October 7th happened during my book tour for my last book. So it was, it was quite intense to be going through it. And that one was obviously a really Jewish book. My first two were so explicitly Jewish and it was an honor to be able to do exactly what I know my mission was. And that is to spread joy and pride around Jewish culture separate from everything else. And to be able to allow a community to still find each other and still, still create some guidance around how do we. Like, how do we still stay positive? How do we still stay engaged in the rituals that are gonna help us through this as it has every other trial and tribulation we faced. That being said, for this book, I never really change. I'm a big believer in being a little polarizing. I think people are gonna get me or they're not. They're either gonna love me. I talk about this in my last book. It's like, I hope you love me and you can't get enough of me and if you don't like me as long as it's not because he's a Jew or he's gay. God bless. God bless. It's like, I'm not for everyone. I don't wanna be for everyone. I think if you are for everyone, you're doing mediocre work. Really, it's about creating people that can see me and be like, you know what? That's my style. That's the way I wanna cook. That's the way I want to hose. That's my sense of humor. And there are many people that are like, they love aspects of me, but they don't like everything. They hate when I'm like. A lot of people are like, you got to wear more clothes in the kitchen because I'm always in, like, a tank top. And some people are, you got to be more Jewish, you got to be less Jewish. People are going to feel however they feel, but I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me and just letting everyone in. So these books are snapshots of my life. This book specifically is an exercise in the dinner parties that I throw with pictures of my friends and the family that have all sat at the table. It's wild. It's like we have Debra Messing and then Katie Couric and Benny Blanco, and these are all the people that sit at the table and get to try these recipes as I test them out. And part of it is just like, this is what I think is going to make a great dinner party. You can agree, you can disagree, but really it's about finding the community that wants to go on this journey with me.

B (18:51)

I love it. So it happens to be Thursday. What are you making tomorrow? Are you cooking for people tomorrow?

A (18:58)

So wild. So I actually did it last night. We had friends over and I actually did the challenge. We did like an early Shabbat. Because tomorrow, my roommate. My roommate is Benj Pasek, the incredible songwriter. One of my roommates is Benj Pasek, incredible songwriter, wrote J. Evan Hansen, all the Music for the Greatest Showman and La La Land. He's actually the special guest at Radio City Music hall performing with Hugh Jackman. So we're all going to watch him perform. So that's going to be how we're spending Shabbat this. This Friday. Last night, I actually made a bunch of recipes for my book. I did. My. My best friend Brian is obsessed with tiramisu cake. And it's so good. You just make this espresso sponge cake, poke holes in it, pour over syrup, and then top it with this. With mascarpone cream. Beyond. Beyond. It's like. It's just. It's really good. It's somewhere in between, like, a sponge cake and a tiramisu. And then I made the one pan gnocchi bake from the book, which is just so easy. And I love that I have some recipes, like the Parker House rolls, and that's part of a celebration menu. So that's a little bit more intentional and a little more work that has to go in it and planning. Because there are moments where you want a project meal where you're like, it's someone's birthday. It is an occasion. It is time to actually put in the effort. And then there are menus that you could just throw together a time and a place for everything.

B (20:21)

I love it. And that you have these blueberry muffins. Blueberry corn muffins, right? Oh, my God, yes.

A (20:27)

Half corn muffin, half blueberry muffin. Parva actually made those on. I went. I'm friends with many of the Roni girls. The new. The reboot. And so Erin, who's my neighbor, she called me up and she's like, I'm having all the ladies out to East Hampton. Will you please come and cook us brunch? I was like, all right, why not? So I went out and did that whole menu, and it was just such a hit.

B (20:51)

I want you to. So where do you cook? In public. I know you're doing so many events for the book, and you're going to be at Temple Emanuel at the Stryker center, and very excited for that. Like, how can the average person, you know, get invited, get to your table?

A (21:06)

You can, and that's kind of like the point. It's like, that's one of the things I talk about. I don't actually cook for strangers. It's one of the things I find. It's so intimate. I always say, like, people always ask, like, if you weren't doing cooking, what would you be doing? And the answer I typically give is porn. And it's just mainly a joke, but also not really. It probably very well could be. And I always say I find cooking for people an incredibly intimate act. And I don't think that I would ever do it for money. And I would much more. I'd be much more likely, probably, to get into sex work than I would into getting to cooking for strangers. And I would do it with pride. I would love that.

B (21:48)

It's always good to have a backup profession. Yeah, that's great. Do you have another cookbook in the works, always.

A (21:56)

I'm trying to do one at a time now. This is the end of a two book deal and so I will get through this. And I actually already have the next two planned out. The next one I'm really excited about. We'll get there when we get there. I'm all about, like, talk about it when it's ready. But I love this idea of I have an idea for a concept, a world that I want to live in. The first one was modern Jewish cooking. The next one was everyday cooking with a Jewish spin. Third one is obviously dinner party and hosting. My next one is going to be completely different. And I love that because I get to kind of have these little vignettes of obsessions and there's endless recipes, endless inspiration. It's a really fun and it's a really fun gig to have and an honor to be able to do what I love.

B (22:49)

That's amazing. So someone coming to one of your upcoming events for the book, what should they expect?

A (22:56)

Oh, my God. What? It's crazy. So I start in LA and I'm having. So my two roommates are Benj Pasek and Alex Edelman, the comedian. And the two of them will be hosting the LA one, as well as my friend Jesse Ware, incredible pop star podcast host, and Jenji Cohan, the brilliant creator of Weeds and Orange Is the New Black. So we'll all be in conversation in la. It's gonna be so much fun. Then I come back, I'm doing Philadelphia with Mike Solomonov and Alex Edelman and potentially Benj too, who knows? They'll hop on. Then I'm doing New Jersey with Baked by Melissa with Melissa Benichet. And then Saturday, Saturday I'm doing the Stryker center, which I always do. This will be my third launch at Stryker for New York at Temple Emanuel. I think it's one of the most incredible places in the world. I'm doing it on stage in conversation with Benj and Alex and Modi the comedian and Judy Gold the comedian. And we're gonna set up a dinner party on the stage and really just have it be this really fun time. And then the best part is, and what I really wanted to do was the book, the title. I love, the titles I come up with because I think they're really fun and I don't take myself very seriously. And you could that in my work, there's a lot of humor and levity. And so I both love a dinner party, but I'm also kind of a party animal. So I wanted to do Something to engage young people in New York. And I had this idea of like, New York's hottest club is a synagogue. And so what I'm doing is obviously we're gonna have this whole book talk on Saturday night and then afterwards for the youths, for people 20 to 40, I'll be throwing pretty much a disco rave in the basement of Temple Emanuel. I have my friend Emil Cohen, an incredible photographer/dj. He throws this party called Mother Disco in New York that's like one of the hottest parties. And so we're gonna throw a little rave in the basement of a synagogue and party.

B (24:59)

That's hilarious. I have spent a lot of time in that room at Temple Emanuel, I have to say.

A (25:04)

So have you ever been to a dance party like that?

B (25:07)

But I have never been to a Ravenette.

A (25:09)

So there we go there. Let's do it first. Let's do it first. Let's just. I like again, it's so unserious. And then I'll be bopping around to many other cities. But that's week one and that's going to be like the hectic one.

B (25:21)

Well, honestly, this sort of joie de viv that you have, I don't even know how else to say it. You're just. This positivity is so needed right now. Like, you can just tell how passionate you are about what you do and the joy that you're bringing to it. It's so refreshing because the world can feel so dark. And you're like, no, let's just like get back to basics and like eat great food and get together. And it's.

A (25:44)

I'm very woo woo, very woo woo, very into manifestation, very into all the energy, like, to me, and it's like you gotta. You gotta be putting out positivity. If not, it's like you're not making the world necessarily a better place. And so that's at least my. In terms of my goal on this planet.

B (26:03)

I love that. Well, now I know when I try to cook these in my can't touch my toes cooking ability, I'll get that infusion of you and your spirit into my kitchen. And that is exactly how people do it.

A (26:16)

That's the point. That's the point. I want everyone to feel like they can do it because I am literally behind them, whispering in their ear, you got this. And that's just it. Because it's not that deep. Like, we're cooking. And I, I am so not into a lot of my contemporaries that are so talented. But go from this place of like taking themselves very seriously. Like, and food is, I don't know, they're just like very much. They're very much talking at people. And I wanted to always be talking with people. So it's like, take these recipes and if you want to make them exact because you're freaking out, go for it. And if you want to take these recipes and make them your own and twist and turn them, God bless. Everything is good.

B (26:57)

Amazing. Well, Jake, thank you so much. Dinner party animal. So fun. I'm rooting for you all the way and just can't wait to watch all the fun ahead. So thank you.

A (27:08)

An honor to talk.

B (27:10)

Okay. Thanks so much. Thank you for your time.

A (27:13)

Thank you.

B (27:14)

Okay, have fun. Bye, Jake.

A (27:17)

Bye.

B (27:18)

Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have time to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram ippyowens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books. This is Paige Desorbo from Giggly Squad. Boost Mobile gives you the same network coverage, speed and service you're used to, just at a more affordable price. Why pay more if you don't have to? Offering reliable nationwide coverage backed by a 30 day money back guarantee. Love your service or get your money back, no questions asked. Visit your nearest Boost mobile store or head to boostmobile.com to learn more. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers who cancel within 30 days of activation will have Boost service fees refunded, activation fees if applicable, and phone payments will not be refunded.

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