Totally Booked with Zibby

Episode: Meghan Riordan Jarvis on Navigating the Trauma of the News

Date: December 19, 2025
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Meghan Riordan Jarvis (therapist, grief and trauma expert; author, founder of the Grieftastic Book Fair)

Episode Overview

In this timely episode, Zibby Owens speaks with grief and trauma expert Meghan Riordan Jarvis about navigating the collective distress many are feeling due to ongoing traumatic news events, particularly as they intersect with the stress of the holiday season. The discussion explores the physiological and emotional impacts of grief and trauma, practical tools for processing distress, and healthy ways to support oneself and others during overwhelming times. With warmth, humor, and deep expertise, Jarvis encourages listeners to honor their emotional responses, regardless of how or why they arise.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Overwhelming Weight of Recent News (02:24–03:05)

• Current events and collective distress: The episode opens with Zibby acknowledging the unrelenting stream of bad news and how it's affecting everyone, especially during the holidays, traditionally associated with joy but now tinged with extra stress.

  • "I don't know anybody who is not reeling from all of the horrible, horrible news from the last couple of days." — Host (02:42)

• Physical manifestations of grief: Meghan explains that grief and stress are processed through our bodies, leading to tangible effects like sleep issues, changes in appetite, and general agitation.

  • "We filter it through our bodies... It shows up in our bodies." — Meghan (03:05)

2. Practical Approaches to Navigating Grief (04:33–06:20)

• The importance of intentionality: Meghan suggests a daily practice of checking in with emotions, using simple journaling as a way to acknowledge both positive and negative experiences.

  • "Be gentle and intentional... I just write for 10 minutes about what I can feel, what am I feeling?" — Meghan (04:33)
  • She recounts a recent overwhelming morning and recommends "naming it" as a way of diffusing some of the emotional charge.

• Agency through small acts: When feeling powerless in the face of distressing news, Meghan finds comfort in "giving back," even in small or unrelated ways (e.g., donating to a food shelter).

3. Writing as a Tool for Processing Trauma (06:25–11:00)

• Neurological benefits of writing: Meghan explains that writing about trauma externalizes it, helping the brain release ruminative, obsessive thoughts.

  • "If you write it down... your brain says, I don't need to keep thinking about that, because I know she wrote it down." — Meghan (07:13)
  • She shares personal anecdotes about guilt after her mother’s death, illustrating how repetitive negative thoughts can trap us, and writing interrupts this cycle.

• Recovering lost memories through writing: She relates how continuous writing can unlock memories suppressed by trauma, as supported by neuroscience.

4. The Role of Movement in Healing (11:00–16:33)

• The Grief Mentor Method: Meghan’s framework includes six components for daily grief practice, one of which is gentle movement.

  • She distinguishes between exercising to “outrun” feelings versus moving to process them.
  • "You can run and dissociate, and you can run and process trauma. They're not the same." — Meghan (11:06)

• Neuroscience behind movement: Physical activity, especially gentle walking (ideally with a companion), supports emotional regulation by stimulating both sympathetic and parasympathetic systems in the brain.

• Importance of companionship: Walking with a friend, even in silence, can be especially healing during acute grief.

5. Coping with Traumatic News and Media Exposure (16:33–21:57)

• Images as trauma triggers: Zibby raises the issue of graphic news images and compulsive viewing, asking how to manage the negative impact.

• Meghan's nuanced perspective: Instead of advocating total avoidance, Meghan encourages self-awareness about what’s “hard” versus what’s actually “bad for you.”

  • "When it's not good for you, it often feels like a gong, like a little humming inside your system." — Meghan (17:10)
  • She notes that listening to news can be less triggering than viewing images.

• No one-size-fits-all approach: Some respond to news with action; others need withdrawal. Knowing which response is authentic to you is crucial.

6. Validating Your Own Distress (25:49–28:42)

• The myth of comparative suffering: Meghan debunks the idea that one must “earn” the right to grieve or be upset.
  • "You can only attend to the energy that's yours... So when people say I don't deserve to feel this way, it's just a minimization and a misrepresentation of what feelings are." — Meghan (26:12)
  • Feelings are real, need acknowledgment, and shouldn’t be minimized because someone else "has it worse."

7. Different Types of Loss Require Personalized Care (28:42–33:26)

• Security and cultural loss: Zibby inquires about coping with less tangible losses, such as a loss of safety or security.

• Grieving is individual: Meghan believes people should explore what healing methods actually work for them, rather than apply blanket solutions.

  • "I just said philanthropy and giving back. When my dad was dying... it just gave me peace. So I don't know the answer, but walking through these six core components, I bet you would come to one." — Meghan (29:01)

• Trusting instinct and trying new outlets: Meghan advises listening to one’s inner impulses, which may surprise you (e.g., taking up a new hobby or returning to music).

• Transformation from loss: Grief can eventually yield creative or communal energy, even if that seems unfathomable in the early days.

8. Supporting Others Who Are Grieving (36:55–41:53)

• Authenticity matters: Help in a way that's genuine for you (e.g., practical support vs. food trains).

  • "Offer what you can do is the most honest response and answer." — Meghan (37:14)

• Remembering anniversaries: Making note of important dates and reaching out, even with a simple heart emoji, can be deeply meaningful.

• Acknowledge the loss: When you see someone after their loss, mentioning it (even belatedly) is appreciated, rather than ignoring it.

  • "Acknowledge the loss... because it makes grievers feel crazy. They feel like they don't have any arms anymore and people are just like looking at them and pretending they don't." — Meghan (37:14)

• Sharing memories: The most appreciated gestures often involve sharing a specific, positive memory about the person who died.

  • "That concrete thing allows the person to be in the memory of the person instead of just the loss of the person." — Meghan (40:07)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On societal expectations:
  "We're just like, good luck... instead of being like, let me tell you what's going to happen." — Meghan (11:06)

• On writing and trauma:
  "Trauma is a bad event that happens... but not everybody was traumatized. So the way that we get traumatized has everything to do with what's already happened to us." — Meghan (07:13)

• On grief practices:
  "You will surprise yourself in this space. You'll surprise yourself about sort of what can become from here." — Meghan (33:40)

• On helping others:
  "It's very passive aggressive... but I had to take care of myself more than sort of take care of the politeness of the room." — Meghan (39:49)

Timestamps of Important Segments

• 02:24 — Introducing Meghan and discussing the heaviness of current news
• 03:05 — How grief shows up in the body
• 04:33 — Daily check-in and the practice of journaling
• 07:13 — Writing as a means to process and release trauma
• 11:06 — The importance of movement and the grief mentor method
• 16:33 — Processing the relentless flow of traumatic news and images
• 21:57 — How to discern what kind of news exposure is harmful
• 26:12 — Validating one's own feelings, even in the context of “worse” suffering elsewhere
• 28:42 — Addressing intangible loss and the importance of individualized grieving
• 33:40 — Surprising oneself with new coping strategies during deep loss
• 36:55 — Best practices for helping grieving friends and loved ones
• 40:07 — Sharing specific, happy memories as a form of support

Closing Thoughts

With characteristic clarity and empathy, Meghan Riordan Jarvis offers permission to grieve, actionable strategies for processing trauma (especially in turbulent times), and practical, human-centered advice for supporting both ourselves and others. She reiterates the importance of being authentic in our reactions, validating our feelings, and acknowledging the persistent—sometimes invisible—wounds modern life and the news can inflict.

For more information on Meghan’s methods and resources, or to connect with the show, visit zibbymedia.com or Instagram @totallybookedwithzibby.