Nate Berkus, FOUNDATIONS: Timeless Design That Feels Personal

Summary

Podcast Summary: Totally Booked with Zibby

Guest: Nate Berkus
Episode: FOUNDATIONS: Timeless Design That Feels Personal
Host: Zibby Owens
Date: November 18, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode features celebrated interior designer and author Nate Berkus, discussing his latest book, Foundations: Timeless Design That Feels Personal. Hosted live at the Whitby Hotel, Zibby Owens and Nate delve into his philosophies on design, the intentions behind his book, the emotional power of home, and personal moments from Nate’s life and career. The tone throughout is candid, warm, and approachable, offering listeners both practical design wisdom and touching reflections on resilience and authenticity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin and Structure of Foundations

• Intentionality in Design Literature (02:20 – 05:22)
  • Nate did not want to create a "labor of love" coffee table book as is tradition; instead, he aimed for a practical, accessible guide grounded in real-life experience.
  • His original pitch was for a modular set of mini-books tailored to specific home areas, but high production costs led to a single, comprehensive volume.
  • Nate leveraged his 30 years of experience (including lessons from TV makeovers and Instagram) to make the book a singular go-to resource for anyone—from those renovating a bathroom to crafting a whole home.
• Quote:

  "What Foundations really represents is every mistake I've made, along with everything I've learned." — Nate Berkus (03:54)

2. Personal Approach and Respect for the Reader

• User-Friendly and Relatable (05:22 – 06:28)
  • Zibby praises Nate’s conversational, non-condescending tone and the way he weaves personal anecdotes to enhance practical advice.
• Nate explains that while his previous books were more autobiographical and emotional, Foundations is outward-facing, intended to help the reader create a happier, more meaningful home—rather than spotlighting his own style or achievements.

3. The Closet as a Window into the Soul

• Understanding Clients—Beyond Trends (06:39 – 09:45)
  • Nate reveals an unconventional approach: he examines clients’ closets to understand their true preferences, colors, patterns, and personal style—a far better indicator than chasing design trends.
  • He’s highly trend-averse, believing trends are "designed to make us all feel really terrible and inferior about what we don’t have."
  • Heritage and personal history are pivotal. Nate helps clients incorporate elements reflecting who they are, who they've been, and who they aspire to be.
• Quote:

  "Our homes should represent not only who we are, but who we've been and also who we aspire to be. We have to leave room for that." — Nate Berkus (09:28)

4. The Power of Objects with Meaning

• Building a Visual Diary (09:45 – 12:18)
  • Nate emphasizes homes should have "soul"—aesthetic beauty is less interesting than objects imbued with memory and personal stories.
  • He cherishes items collected during meaningful moments, as "every time your eye lands on that, you remember that afternoon."
  • His philosophy: it's not about budget or brand, but about connection and narrative.
• Notable Anecdote:
  • Nate’s husband calls him a "fancy hoarder" because even a simple rock picked up by their son becomes a treasured artifact, labeled with its origin as part of the family story.

5. Value, Imperfection, and the Layering of Home

• Layered and Vintage Design (12:42 – 14:10)
  • Nate’s mother, also an interior designer but with different taste, taught him the importance of shopping vintage and mixing old with new.
  • Rooms feel truly “done” only when they are layered over time—incorporating things with history, not just newly bought items.

6. Career Origins and Auction House Influence

• Learning from Other People's Lives (18:00 – 20:10)
  • Nate started at a Chicago auction house, learning the real value of objects on the secondary market and how people’s lives and stories are told through the things they leave behind.
  • “The auction industry is fueled by three things: death, debt, and divorce. And that’s where all the stuff comes from.”
  • Cataloging everything from art to "box lots" (pots and pans) shaped his appreciation for the lived experience behind every possession.

7. The Joy of the Hunt (and the Grit Behind Design)

• Hands-On vs. Instagram Curation (20:10 – 21:33)
  • Nate distinguishes himself from modern Instagram designers by emphasizing the importance of physically seeking out vintage pieces, “digging through bins” and assembling rooms layer by layer.
  • He enjoys “the hunt” and even includes his (sometimes reluctant) children in flea market adventures.
• Quote:

  "The hands-on part is what I love... I have never once landed anywhere in my life where I haven’t, like, Googled local flea market." — Nate Berkus (20:23)

8. Personal Resilience: Surviving the Tsunami and Loss

• Candid Reflections on Trauma and Recovery (22:07 – 26:19)
  • Nate recounts surviving the Indian Ocean tsunami, losing his partner, and the difficulty of returning to life and career in Chicago.
  • With family support and therapy (notably a grief counselor specializing in children), he found his footing again.
  • He speaks openly about fear of being stigmatized or unable to function, but ultimately found new meaning in honoring his late partner’s memory by fully living his own life.
• Memorable Moment:
  • Nate’s self-deprecating humor persists even here, noting he survived, “the Jewish kid from the suburbs,” while his adventurous partner did not—a reality he felt compelled to transmute into purpose and openness.
• Quote:

  "What it meant to me was that I could honor [my partner's] memory by going out there and living my life and being open to everything that life has to offer." — Nate Berkus (25:52)

9. The Human Side of Commercial Success

• Authenticity in Business (26:19 – 29:35)
  • Nate describes how his empathy, authenticity, and non-strategic approach have helped him as a designer, collaborator, and public figure.
  • He defines design as "a little bit sociology, a little bit psychology. It's a little bit magic.”
  • He credits Martha Stewart with expanding America’s design consciousness, and details how he tries to bring "grace" to all professional relationships.
  • Nate’s guiding belief is that everyone has a story, and his job is to make their individuality "sing" in their home environment—not to impose his own style.

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• On Experience and Book Purpose:

  "What Foundations really represents is every mistake I've made, along with everything I've learned." (Nate Berkus, 03:54)

• On Personal Style vs. Trends:

  "There's a direct connection between what we feel good in that's tied into how trend averse I am." (Nate Berkus, 06:53)

• On Homes as Personal Story:

  "Our homes should represent not only who we are, but who we've been and also who we aspire to be." (Nate Berkus, 09:28)

• On Collected Objects:

  "Every time your eye lands on that, you remember that afternoon... it's about building a narrative." (Nate Berkus, 10:58)

• On the Auction House:

  "The auction industry is fueled by three things: death, debt, and divorce. And that's where all the stuff comes from." (Nate Berkus, 18:23)

• On Surviving Loss:

  "What it meant to me was that I could honor his memory by going out there and living my life and being open to everything that life has to offer..." (Nate Berkus, 25:52)

• On the Essence of Design:

  "Design is a little bit sociology, a little bit psychology. It's a little bit magic." (Nate Berkus, 26:35)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Topic | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:20 | Concept and creation of Foundations | | 05:22 | Book’s tone, accessibility, and approach | | 06:39 | Why Nate studies client closets; philosophy on trends and personal heritage | | 09:45 | Homes as layered narratives; preserving meaning and storytelling through objects | | 12:42 | Layered vintage approach learned from Nate's mother | | 18:00 | Early career at a Chicago auction house—emphasis on layered, storied interiors | | 20:10 | Passion for "the hunt"; contrast between physical design work and Instagram curation | | 22:07 | Surviving the tsunami and personal trauma—resilience and purpose | | 26:19 | Merging authenticity with commercial work; the importance of grace and storytelling in design |

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Memorable Moments

• Humorous Banter about Zibby’s Couch and Dining Room (02:04 – 02:17)
• Personal Family Anecdotes (Vintage Shopping with Mom, Kids at Flea Markets) (12:42, 21:33)
• Lighthearted Take on Trend Aversion and Fast Fashion (07:01, 09:03)
• Coy Commentary on Professional Personas ("You never know if they're a real, real asshole or not.") (28:57)

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Overall Tone and Language

Nate is witty, candid, and accessible—eschewing design snobbery in favor of practical, empathetic advice. Zibby matches the tone with warmth and a touch of self-deprecating humor. Both are open and personal, creating a welcoming atmosphere for listeners regardless of design knowledge or life experience.

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Conclusion

Whether detailing the creation of Foundations, discussing his approach to client work, or sharing deeply personal moments, Nate Berkus offers a masterclass in designing with intention and meaning. The episode is rich in practical wisdom, uplifting stories, and gentle encouragement for listeners to infuse their spaces with narrative, history, and a sense of self—reminding us all that meaningful design is within reach for everyone.

Transcript

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[Nate Berkus]

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[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Welcome to Totally Booked Live at the Whitby Hotel, where I get to interview some of my favorite authors in front of you lovely people here in this wonderful crowd today. I'm so excited to talk to Nate Berkus, whose latest book is called Foundations. Welcome to.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

Thanks for coming.

[Nate Berkus]

Of course.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Your book was so amazing. I got fabulous tips. I'm rethinking my entire apartment. Not even kidding.

[Nate Berkus]

I'm available.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

Are you?

[Nate Berkus]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Okay.

[Nate Berkus]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

This is not a joke.

[Nate Berkus]

I'm not.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

We have dining room needs.

[Nate Berkus]

Deadly serious.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Okay. I also made the mistake of buying a couch, which is now floating in the middle of a room, and I don't know what to do.

[Nate Berkus]

Okay.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

Okay.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Anyway, I'm kidding. I mean, not really, but anyway.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

Okay.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Tell everybody about foundations.

[Nate Berkus]

So foundations was. I know everybody says it's a labor of love. It really wasn't a labor of love.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Was not.

[Nate Berkus]

No, not at all. It became Actually, my favorite book of the three that I've written now. It became my favorite book because I realized very gratefully what an incredible team I've built around me for the last 25 years. And so everyone in my world just was like, yeah, no, absolutely, this is a really cool idea. What can we do to help? Which was not my experience with my first two books. But I went to the publisher, to Doris Cooper, who's a very good friend, and lost the bid on my first book when she worked at Clarkson Potter. And she and I really wanted to work together since for 20 years. And I said to her, I have this amazing idea. I want to write sort of a definitive design book based on 30 years of experience. I'm not a snob, so I'm going to speak really plainly. I'm going to. I want to make, like, 10 little books in a beautiful box or sold separately, kind of like the Assulin, like city guides. And I think this is such a cool idea because if you're renovating just a kitchen, then you can just give somebody the kitchen book as a housewarming present, and they'll all be $15. And I think it's a really great idea. And Doris was like, that is a terrible idea. I'm gonna tell you why. No one can afford paper. And definitely we are not putting 20 covers on this idea. However, if you would like to write the book 30 years in, which is really what it is, then please, by all means, do that, and we'll just break it up section by section. So what Foundations really represents is every mistake I've made, along with everything I've learned. Back in the day, pre Internet, when I started doing makeovers on TV, we would get a thousand questions a week on Oprah.com and that's how we determined what the design makeover segments would be based on. And so I have such obviously fond memories of that time, or not obviously, but they are very fond, in case anyone was curious. And I remember going through sort of everything on my Instagram and every problem we've encountered and just making the decision to put all the right information in one place, broken down, so that if you are just renovating a bathroom, you go to that chapter. But it's been really interesting for me to say the things that I've come to believe over the last 30 years out loud. And I didn't want to create a fancy coffee table book for $150 that no one can afford. That was all about me. I have the body of work, obviously. I've Been doing this for a really long time, but that felt very self serving and uninteresting and not useful. And so what I decided to do was take the entire body of photography and attach that to the lessons that those photographs represented. So that is foundations.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

I love it. And it's so user friendly. You're not talking down to us. You're speaking with so much respect to the reader and saying, here, here's an example. This is my kid's room. This is. You're giving us so much personal information too, which is lovely.

[Nate Berkus]

Yeah. I mean, listen, my first two books were deeply personal. I talked about surviving the tsunami and losing my partner and somehow that got woven into a design book. And my first book, I had no idea what I was doing, but I was on Oprah. So you write a book, but looking at this book, it's a little bit anecdotal, but it really is all outward facing. It was just. I'm only gonna share a story if it applies to how it made a home better or a project better or made someone happier when they're living in their home day to. And I feel really good. You can tell I'm like hitting the circuit here. I am. But I love talking about it because for me, it's very much representative of a 30 year career in design that I'm very grateful for still. But I earned this. There's a lot of doors that open for a lot of people and I've worked really hard to be where I am.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

And you describe the doors in great detail.

[Nate Berkus]

I do, I do. And the hinges and the hardware, everything else.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

So one thing I found really interesting is you said when you start working with new clients.

[Quince Advertiser]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

You go into the kitchen and check it out. But what you really want to look at is the closet. And you see how people feel about their clothes, what kind of clothes they wear, and how that aligns typically with some piece of the style of their homes. Talk a little bit about that.

[Nate Berkus]

There's a direct connection between what we feel good in that's tied into how trend averse I am.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Yes. Which I also love.

[Nate Berkus]

I love trends. I think they're designed to make us all feel really terrible and really inferior about what we don't have, which is obviously not a terrific way of moving through the world. So when I'm meeting somebody for the first time, I'm not looking to see if their closet is clean and I'm not in their underwear drawer.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Well, no, I figured.

[Nate Berkus]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

But I don't think we'd be having the Podcast if you went into people's.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

Underwear drawers all the time, someday, maybe.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

You never know, Right?

[Nate Berkus]

Never say never. But I would say that what the closet has always revealed to me is that we get taken in by all of this imagery and all of these ideas, and there's nothing really more intimidating than taking whatever money you've saved or have and making the decision to craft a home that represents you. And then as soon as you make that decision, you're moving or you're renting or you bought something or you're gutting something. It doesn't matter the scale. You're besieged with all this visual imagery that has nothing to do with you. You're like, you know why? All of a sudden, you're like, Mexican pottery. This is going to be amazing. And, like, you've never looked at it in your life, but you have a construction loan, and you're like, I'm going to go for this. So, no. The answer is no. And the reason, to answer your question, that I go through people's closets with them is that it's really important for me to see what patterns, what colors, what they feel really good about. What's your favorite dress for the summer? What's your favorite outfit you've ever worn in? Years ago, there was this book called the Height of Fashion. It was Lisa Eisner that wrote it, and she asked everybody that was in the book to give her a photo of them when they felt they were at the height of fashion. And that's kind of what I'm doing, because I want to know who you are at your best, when. Doesn't matter who helped you with that. But also, it's like fast fashion, you know? Like, I don't care if I buy an ugly sweater and wear it once. Like, I'll donate it, but if I. If it's a sofa, I'm in a really bad mood.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't buy, like, a bright sofa either, but.

[Nate Berkus]

Right. But I think that there's. That's a clue for me. People's heritage and their cultural background is a really important factor, too. Danny, that would be really confusing for me. For you. Cause I've read every book that you've ever written. But it's just. It's interesting because, you know, I think that our homes should represent not only who we are, but who we've been and also who we aspire to be. We have to leave room for that. And so what's important for me is to really understand, kind of how to embrace somebody as a 360 degree viewpoint, their whole kind of being, including their history as well.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

And I love all the photos that you have in there of people's grandparents and like antique frames and all of that. And it made me think, like, I should really dig and take all my grandmother's recipe cards and put them on the wall.

[Nate Berkus]

Totally.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Like you say that the home should reflect more than the things in it. Like it has to show more about the person. It can't just be aesthetically pleasing. It has to have soul.

[Nate Berkus]

Well, it's just not interesting. An interior isn't interesting. We've all been in the homes of really rich people that spent everything and hired the hottest decorator in the town or whatever. And you walk through the space and you're like, yeah, it's lovely, but I could be in the Four Seasons, Toronto, or I could be, you know, anywhere else in the world and there's nothing here that is giving me any cue as to who this person is and what makes them tick. And you know, I started saying, your home should tell your story, like on my bar mitzvah, like this was a really long time ago. So now it's like every brand. It's like, your home should tell your story. Buy this washing machine. Like it has no. I'm not sure how that became such a huge thing, but I've been saying it for 30 years. And for me, what that really means is that it's not about budget. It never has been. It's not about being at the top auction house or the finest auntie care in the world. It's always for me, been about that weekend with your girlfriend where you're like, you know what? I'm gonna buy that vase. I don't even know why I like it, but I'm gonna have it. And then when it sits on your bookshelf or on that table in the corner of your family room, every time your eye lands on that, you remember that afternoon. And so for me, I have such a visual diary in our homes. When my eye lands on anything, I can tell you sort of who I was with, where I was, whether it was another country or some multi dealer antiques mall in Ohio, it doesn't matter. But I remember all of that. And I really. That's why my husband thinks I'm like a fancy hoarder. Because he's always like, how can you possibly care so much about this rock? I'm like, because our son picked that up and if you turn it over, we took a Sharpie and wrote comporta on the back of it, like, you know, where do you want that to go? In the garbage can. Have you lost your mind? So, you know, for me, it's about building a narrative, and it always has been about building a narrative. And I've been lucky enough to help other people translate that narrative into a tactile environment.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Amazing. I remember going to Boston with my mom in high school, and there was this trash can. This, like, painted trash can. She's like, we have to buy this. And she's like, and every time we look at this trash can, remember this mother daughter trip we took? I know, and it's true.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

And I really.

[Nate Berkus]

Do you still have it? No. Where is it? Did Jeremiah make you throw it away?

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Yes, she had it, but then she moved. I don't know what she did with it. She kept it. I'll have to ask her.

[Nate Berkus]

No. It's funny. I mean, I grew up with a mom who was an interior designer. Her taste was completely different than mine. I grew up in a French country home filled with every color that I loathe. You know, all these printed. Do you remember Purdue?

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate Berkus]

Yeah. So, okay, so, I mean, my whole.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

House, I had the Purdue bag.

[Nate Berkus]

I went, oh, yeah. I mean, I would have if I was a girl, but it was like every frame, every little box that tied in the corners was all over our home growing up, you know, And I have an appreciation for that. But at the time, my mom taught me how to shop vintage. And I talk a lot about that in the book because I talk a lot about the importance of bringing old things into a home. Things that didn't belong to you, but have a patination and a story to tell on their own. And I don't believe that a room is ever done when it's filled with new things. I feel like every room should feel assembled and layered over time. And the only way to achieve that quickly is to have a lot of vintage things. I love imperfections, all of those things. And so mom would go off and come back with, like, some, you know, hideous Italian ceramic rooster and be, like, so excited. She'd be like, this is Italian. It's amazing. And I'd be like, okay, mom, you definitely need another fruit bowl. And I would be like in a. In a case, you know, with the salesperson with the key trying to get that one tiny picture frame in bronze that I thought that still sits on my bookshelves today. So, you know. And I was probably 15.

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[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Wow. So did you sort of see this whole career of yours from a young age? Like, did you want to be on tv? Like, the whole thing?

[Nate Berkus]

No, not at all. No. I wasn't strategic about it at all. In fact, I didn't know what I wanted to do. My mom never really encouraged it. I think she thought that that would, like, make me gay, which. We're a little late to the party. But, you know, I think the way I came into design was a little bit different than a lot of my contemporaries. I started at an auction house in Chicago, and so I learned about the value of things on the secondary market. They say that the auction industry is fueled by three things. Death, debt, and divorce. And that's where all the stuff comes from. And so I would be in Chicago with. We called it like our Gucci loafers, but no dental insurance. Stage of life. We would just. Like all these young people, we thought we were so cool. And none of us could pay. None of us could buy a hamburger. But we were very fancy with our ties and our jackets with our gold buttons. And I would go in the auction house, and I would, you know, these trucks would pull up of these estates and. And it was our job to not unpack them, but catalog everything and write the description and do the research. And it was fascinating to me from a sociological standpoint, seeing what people collected and what they lived with, because most auction houses aren't like Christie's and Phillips and Sotheby's and things like that. They're little businesses with kids trying to figure it out and you have to take everything. They might have one good painting, but you're selling their pots and pans in boxes and they called them box lots. So you have to catalog all of it and come up with the value of it. And I felt like I was being read a story, looking at what was coming out of the boxes. You know, beautiful things and then really strange things. But imagine our lives packed up and taped up and shipped off to be sold. That had a huge impact on me in terms of how I address and still address crafting interiors on behalf of other people.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Fascinating. You talk about digging with your hands through metal doorknobs and going through marble slabs, and it sounds like you are very in it on every assignment. You are hands on.

[Nate Berkus]

Yeah, well, I love the hunt. That's the hard part. So when I see all these designers on Instagram who are great editors of imagery, I know that they've never dug through the bins of hardware. And I know that they've never properly assembled a room and installed a room with scale and gotten it right and made the mistakes and learned from those mistakes. I just see these, like, beautiful feeds of all these beautiful interiors. That. And that's a talent, obviously, to be able to kind of cull all of that imagery together and craft a point of view. But the hands on part is what I love. I mean, I've never once landed anywhere in my life where I haven't, like, Googled local flea market, antiques mall, local vintage area, antiques area. Like I am. My children are so tired of this. It's like, it's unbelievable. And I tried to bribe and now I'm like, but you can pick something out. And Poppy's like, can we go to Sephora afterwards? And the answer is yes. Yes, you can paint your face and then we'll wash it off when we leave the house.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

She could go with my daughter, too.

[Nate Berkus]

It's every daughter. It's unbelievable.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Ulta versus Flora.

[Nate Berkus]

She's like, you really need a mask. I'm like, thanks, Pop. Going on Zibi's podcast, so I know.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

They wander through and they're like, look, mom, wrinkle cream.

[Nate Berkus]

Totally.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Thanks.

[Nate Berkus]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Anti aging.

[Nate Berkus]

Literally.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Yeah.

[Nate Berkus]

Well, my husband's 13 years younger, so they're like, he doesn't need it, but you should get this. So exciting.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

My husband's younger too. We can commiserate.

[Nate Berkus]

Wow. Let's do that.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

On a more personal note, you've gone through so much in your life and you've spoken publicly about your horrific loss and being part of the tsunami. Can you talk a little bit about going through something that traumatic and finding your way out the other side? How do you do that? And can you maybe explain what. What your involvement was then?

[Nate Berkus]

Yeah, of course. So what Libby's referring to is in. I survived the Indian Ocean tsunami. My partner. Boyfriend at the time did not. And so I came home alone back to Chicago, where I was living and was to kind of set the scene for everybody. I was on Oprah. I was launching a huge collection with a store called Linens and Things. RIP I was. I had a book coming out, the first book Fernando had shot, the COVID the portrait of me. And I stepped back into a life that I no longer recognized after that. And so my big fear after that was that I was gonna be weird. And I kept saying to the grief counselor, I'm really worried. I don't think I can, like, function. Like, every conversation was just not landing. And I didn't really. I was so unable to participate in what we all go through day to day because nothing seemed important. And being at the time, in a very public situation with a lot of businesses banking on me to be the sort of representative of their investments and the brand that I was building, I was terrified that I not only would not be able to do anything professionally, but I also just would, like, never get out of bed. So I smoked Marlboro Lights in my bed. And my mom's friend Linda Nottle, made chocolate chip cookies. And I ate them by, like. That was my meal. Couldn't eat anything else. But I had the great, great fortune of an incredibly supportive family and some really smart professional. The grief counselor that I worked with actually worked with children, not adults. And he came over to my apartment every day for a month. And I would. My parents were both there. They had been divorced when I was 2. My mom said she married my dad. Cause all of her friends were getting nice dishes, and she wanted them too. But they came back together to support me. And I discovered a part of myself that I would never trade. I would never. I don't think I could. I'm unrecognizable to myself before the tsunami. However, I've also. Now the decisions that I've made personally, I know are the right decisions for me. My marriage to Jeremiah, the decision to have two children via surrogacy, you know, I feel so lucky that I got a second chance is really how I navigate through the world now.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

That's amazing. I'm so sorry that you went through all that. But to turn it into Something that helps other people and that gives life meaning. I feel like until you've had something bad happen, you don't know how good other things are.

[Nate Berkus]

Yeah, I think that's definitely true. I also just didn't feel like it would be honoring his memory, Fernando's memory, for me to just give. Because I was the guy, the sort of Jewish kid from the suburbs. We were in Sri Lanka. He was the surfer from South America who would go camping with his older brothers and be in the wilderness in the Amazon for two weeks. I would go into the Amazon in a hazmat suit. I prefer nature viewed through glass. I don't understand any of that. And the fact that I came home and he didn't waste it had to mean something. And so I spent a long time searching for that meaning. And what I really realized, I think in the end was that it didn't actually really mean anything, but what it meant to me was that I could honor his memory by going out there and living my life and being open to everything that life has to offer, including falling in love again. Including doing everything that I have been able to do in the last, you know, 25 years.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Oh, that's amazing. So how do you take your very unguarded, sort of open, aware view of the way life really is and turn that into something more commercial when you need to?

[Nate Berkus]

It's really easy for me. I'm not sure why. You know, I'm not particularly complicated. I like meeting people I like. Jeremiah always says that I. And I think this has served me as a designer. But I always like to see. I always like to see people the way they wish to be perceived. So it could be my greatest asset or it could be my worst quality. I'm not sure. I'll let you know someday if I ever figure that out. But I think the truth is that design is a little bit sociology, a little bit psychology. It's a little bit magic. You know, some people have the instinct, and we all talk about who has the gift and who doesn't. I can't make myself. I can't make my kids eggs like I do. But they're like, ugh, me too.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

They, like, throw them away. I'm like, this is so embarrassing.

[Nate Berkus]

It's like, well, they tell on me. Jeremiah will come back from a business trip, and he'll be like, he made us eggs that taste like nothing, and he forced us to eat them. And I'm like, you guys are fine. There's lots of problems in the world. Guys, you're good get to school. But, yeah, I mean, you know, I think that it's. There's an alchemy to. There's also, like, really, honestly, in this day and age, when I started in this business, there was like, Martha Stewart was the queen. I was doing design on tv. Martha paved the way for all of us to start caring not just about muffins, but about the tray that the muffins went on. That was revolutionary. At the time, there wasn't like this massive landscape of social media and influencers and all this stuff that we live in now. And so to be a designer that was doing television makeovers was really rare then. HGTV was kind of in its infancy. It was about. Wasn't about design. It kind of still isn't about design. It's about how fast and how inexpensively you can rip your house apart. But it was a really interesting thing for me to. Now that the world continues to change, I think grace goes a long way. And I say to all of my partners in licensing or even clients or whatever, I'm like, I never want to be the guy that. You see my name on your calendar that afternoon, especially all these people that work for these big brands and companies, and you're like, oh, God, this is going to be a long day. That's awful.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Nobody would ever think that about you.

[Nate Berkus]

Well, you never know. I mean, you never know when you meet somebody and you've watched them on television or whatever, if they're a real, real asshole or not. No one knows that. And I think that what has been important to me and how I apply it to my career is that, yes, I've learned a lot, and I've learned a lot about myself, and I've been through a lot, but we all have. And really, I think foundationally, I think we're all the same. I just have a talent in being able to craft an environment that makes that individuality sing. And that's what the book is about. And that's what my career's been about, and that's what I love doing, and I love that I still get to do it.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Amazing. Well, foundations is fabulous. No surprise. You were like, a mensch, and this was amazing. Thank you so much.

[Nate Berkus]

Thanks for both. Thanks for both things.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

Thank you. Thank you for listening to Totally Booked.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

With Zibbee, formerly Moms don't have Time to read Books.

[Nate Berkus]

If you loved the show, tell a.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

Friend, leave a review, Follow me on Instagram, ibbyowens and Spread the word.

[Nate Berkus]

Thanks so much.

[Podcast Producer/Co-host]

Oh, and buy the books.

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[Nate Berkus]

Yes, Chef.

[Podcast Host (Zibby Owens)]

This is so nice.

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[Nate Berkus]

Of what you need.

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[Nate Berkus]

Can I make my site firmer?

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