Totally Booked with Zibby
Episode: Navigating Uncertainty and Medical Mystery with Gillian Deacon
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Gillian Deacon
Date: February 16, 2026
Episode Overview
This heartfelt and thought-provoking episode of “Totally Booked with Zibby” features an in-depth conversation between Zibby Owens and award-winning Canadian broadcaster and author Gillian Deacon. Focusing on Gillian’s latest book, A Love Affair with the Unknown: Leaning into the Uncertainty of Modern Life, the discussion explores how personal health crises and global unpredictability can teach us to embrace uncertainty, reframe discomfort, and find value in the present moment. Drawing from her experiences with multiple cancer diagnoses and a mysterious, ultimately long Covid illness, Gillian offers a candid look at how navigating the unknown can open us to growth, hope, creativity, and a fuller life.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Embracing Uncertainty through Personal Experience
[05:21–07:22 | Gillian Deacon]
- Gillian introduces her book as an exploration of how we can rethink our relationship with uncertainty, especially in tumultuous times (geopolitical, climate, economic).
- She details her own journey: four cancer diagnoses, two rounds of breast cancer treatments, and nearly two years suffering from long Covid.
- Her health crises forced her to examine “how we get more okay with not being okay,” challenging the myth of stability and certainty.
Notable Quote:
“Maybe letting go of the idea that that stable certainty is even possible and actually recognizing all the power and potential and growth and opportunity and creativity and confidence that comes from thinking differently about uncertainty...”
— Gillian Deacon [05:45]
2. The Medical Mystery & Journalistic Perspective
[07:22–10:57 | Zibby Owens & Gillian Deacon]
- Zibby highlights the book’s unfolding “medical mystery” aspect, as readers share Gillian’s gradual discovery of her illness.
- Gillian draws parallels between her career as a live broadcaster (where unpredictability is constant) and managing personal health uncertainty.
- She recounts a pivotal newsroom moment when Nelson Mandela’s death shattered all plans, emphasizing the need to “surrender to this exact experience as it’s happening” in both news and life.
Notable Quote:
“Letting go of what you thought you were in control of and surrendering to this exact experience as it's happening... there's like a communion with the listeners in a way that's different than when you're reading off a script.”
— Gillian Deacon [09:59]
3. Practical Tools: Finding Comfort in the Unfamiliar
[10:57–13:43 | Zibby Owens & Gillian Deacon]
- Zibby reads excerpts illustrating Gillian’s approaches for easing anxiety (e.g., vagus nerve therapy exercises) and her vivid depictions of pain and symptoms.
- Gillian reflects on these moments as the narrative’s spine, but clarifies the book’s broader aim: highlighting growth and opportunity—not solely pain and suffering.
Memorable Passage (Read by Zibby):
“I have no idea what I’m doing, but it works. Lost in the not knowing, I yawn, sigh, and observe a gentle reprieve in my physical discomfort. I have wandered off the path and don't know how to get back. But look at all that there is to be found here.”
— [10:57]
4. Reframing Everyday Frustration: The “Last Time” Meditation
[13:43–17:45 | Zibby Owens & Gillian Deacon]
- The present is deeply enriched by loss and limitation; Gillian and Zibby discuss how illness magnified the value of mundane tasks once taken for granted.
- Gillian explains how Stoic philosophy reframes frustration: what if this moment were the last time you experienced it? This perspective instantly turns any mundane or unpleasant task into a treasure.
- This thinking is rooted in both Stoicism and Buddhism, reinforcing presence as a liberating practice.
Notable Quote:
“We have this sort of hubris that drives our sense of how we think things should be... Just turn it upside down and think of it that way. And I just found it like beautifully liberating—it literally in the moment changes anything unpleasant into a treasure.”
— Gillian Deacon [15:58]
Memorable Passage (Read by Zibby):
“Don’t dwell on the possibility of terrible things happening to you or your loved ones. That’s unproductive anxiety. But do consider for a moment the possibility that you may be doing something for the last time.”
— [14:52]
5. Life after Illness—Synthesizing Lessons Learned
[21:16–25:50 | Zibby Owens & Gillian Deacon]
- Zibby asks how Gillian applies these lessons in daily life and maintains perspective after recovery.
- Gillian emphasizes the importance of practice: meditation, mindful attention, and regularly pausing to appreciate the present, while recognizing “attention bias” toward negativity.
- She points out the evolutionary roots of focusing on risk and the importance of balancing awareness for safety with acceptance of uncertainty.
Notable Quote:
“I meditate in the mornings and I try to recognize again that power in the present. And it helps me throughout the rest of the day to put those anxious, fearful thoughts into perspective... What do I actually know to be true?”
— Gillian Deacon [23:52]
6. Modern Life, Technology & The Comfort Zone
[25:54–29:53 | Zibby Owens & Gillian Deacon]
- The conversation turns to how technology, while convenient, removes natural friction and opportunities for discovery.
- Gillian encourages actively seeking discomfort and unfamiliar experiences to widen one’s “comfort zone” and boost creativity, hope, and a sense of aliveness.
Notable Quote:
“Those algorithms and technology is designed to help us in many ways, but it's in fact, removing some potential moments for that feeling of aliveness... One of the things that I'm doing in my own life now is actively seeking out discomfort and unfamiliarity and things that are going to force me out of my comfort zone. Because the more I do that, the wider, by definition, the wider my comfort zone gets.”
— Gillian Deacon [27:16]
Memorable Quotes and Moments
-
“Maybe letting go of the idea that that stable certainty is even possible... Actually recognizing all the power and potential and growth and opportunity and creativity and confidence that comes from thinking differently about uncertainty...”
— Gillian Deacon [05:45] -
“When is that version of me going to come back?”
— Zibby Owens, reflecting Gillian’s writing [13:30] -
“What if I couldn’t do this moment again? And it’s changing my perspective all the time.”
— Zibby Owens [14:00] -
“Hope—putting that out there for anyone suffering. But one of the things it did was change my perspective on what mattered.”
— Gillian Deacon [22:19]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 04:57 — Zibby welcomes Gillian Deacon on stage
- 05:21 — Gillian introduces the book’s core theme
- 07:22 — Zibby comments on the book’s “medical mystery” narrative style
- 08:29 — Gillian relates live broadcasting to living with uncertainty
- 10:57 — Zibby reads excerpts on coping with discomfort
- 13:43 — The gift of appreciating everyday “mundane” moments
- 15:20 — Gillian explains “last time” meditation and Stoic philosophy
- 21:16 — Zibby asks about integrating these lessons after illness
- 22:09–23:52 — Gillian discusses daily mindfulness and attention bias
- 25:54 — Discussing technology, comfort zones, and the value of discomfort
- 27:16–29:53 — Gillian suggests actively pursuing unfamiliarity for growth
Final Thoughts
This energetic, honest, and deeply personal conversation highlights the wisdom that arises from difficult, uncertain experiences. With warmth and gentle humor, Gillian Deacon offers tools not just to “handle” uncertainty, but to actively find meaning and opportunity within it—a timely lesson for all.
Recommended Reading: A Love Affair with the Unknown: Leaning into the Uncertainty of Modern Life by Gillian Deacon
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Episode curated and summarized by: Totally Booked Podcast Summarizer Assistant