← Totally Booked with Zibby
Totally Booked with Zibby
Susan Lucci — From Soap Opera Star to Widow and Everything in Between
00:21:37
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- [00:01]
Zibby Owens
Hey everyone, it's Zivi. I am so excited to tell you about something I've created just for you, the Zip Membership Program. ZIP stands for Zivi's Important People. It's for anyone who loves books, stories and wants a little peek behind the scenes at what I'm up to and what's on my mind as a Zip member. You'll get exclusive essays, a new podcast called Zivvy's Voice Notes. No interviews, just usually discounts at Zibby's Bookshop, a free ebook, and more perks. I wanted to create a space to connect authentically and deeply, and I'd love for you to be part of it. If that sounds like your kind of thing, become a Zip today. You're already important to me. Now let's make it official. Go to zibioens.com and click subscribe. And if you already subscribe, you can upgrade to the Membership program. And now onto today's episode of Totally Booked with Zibvie. Thanks for listening.
- [00:56]
Capital One Advertiser
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- [01:26]
Equip Health Advertiser
We live in a culture obsessed with dieting, weight loss and exercise, and that can make eating disorder behaviors easy to miss. But the reality is, eating disorders are serious mental illnesses that take a major toll on your health and your life. But recovery is possible. Eating disorders are more common than you might think. Chances are you know someone who is struggling with one. Or maybe you're struggling yourself. If you're concerned about an eating disorder in yourself or a loved one, I want to introduce you to Equip. Equip is a fully virtual evidence based eating disorder treatment program that helps patients achieve lasting recovery at home. Every Equip patient is matched with a multidisciplinary care team that includes a therapist, dietitian, medical provider, and mentors. And you get a personalized treatment plan that's tailored to your unique goals and challenges. Equip treats patients of all ages and all eating disorder diagnoses. It's covered by insurance and there's no wait list. If you think that you or a loved one could be struggling with an eating disorder. Don't wait to get help. Visit Equip Health to learn more. That's Equip Health.
- [02:31]
Boost Mobile / LinkedIn Advertiser
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- [03:14]
Zibby Owens
Hi, this is Zibby Owens and you're listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have Time to Read Books in my daily show I interview today's latest best selling, buzziest or underrated authors and story creators whose work I think is worth your time. As a bookstore owner, publisher, author and obviously podcaster, I get a comprehensive look at everything that's coming out and spend my time curating the best books so you don't have to stay in the know. Get insider insights and connect with guests like I do every single day. For more information, go to zibbymedia.com and follow me on Instagram. Ibyoans Susan Lucci okay, this was a complicated interview because, well, it's my fault. I recorded it first and accidentally did not record our conversation, which has only happened to me I think three times in the history of this show. I was devastated to lose it because it was this intimate, amazing conversation where she was crying a little bit and it was just like so good. And I realized after with my head in my hands that it had not recorded and I was just devastated. But luckily she happened to be in New York the next day and her amazing publicists invited me to their office to interview her in person. So we ducked into a little studio in their office and re recorded a conversation. I tried to have a different conversation the second time so it's a little different. I'm sorry you couldn't hear the first one, but both were delightful. Susan Lucci is amazing. I am such a huge, huge fan and I just ate up her book. There is so much interesting information in there. Her whole life has been just a dream but also has had so many challenges. The loss of her husband and writing about that aftermath was so powerful and I think it will help anybody who has lost anybody. But also, of course, her role as a soap opera star has fascination as well. It's a lot about mother, child sort of work, life balance. There's just so much in here. And even if you didn't watch All My Children, even if you don't know who she is, you can pick it up and learn so much from entertainment to motherhood to. To loss and grief, friendship, all of it. Here's her bio. Susan Lucci is one of the most iconic faces in television history, best known for playing erica Kane on ABC's All My Children for over 40 years, earning a historic Daytime Emmy award and a lifetime achievement award. Her career spans television, film, Broadway, and hosting, with credits including Devious Maids, Joy and Dancing with the Stars, among others. A successful entrepreneur and philanthropist, Susan Lucci is also a New York Times bestselling author. She is set to star opposite Keanu Reeves in the upcoming Apple film Outcome and her second memoir, La Lucci is what we are talking about today. Welcome, Susan. Take two. Thank you so much for coming on. Totally booked our repeat edition. I really appreciate it. Thank you.
- [06:19]
Susan Lucci
Thank you. I'm happy to be here.
- [06:21]
Zibby Owens
Oh, my gosh, yes. Our episode yesterday was not properly recorded. And so here we are in person, which is even better.
- [06:28]
Susan Lucci
Even better. I'm happy to meet you in person.
- [06:30]
Zibby Owens
You, too. I don't want to make this repetitive, but I do want you to tell listeners a little bit about why you decided to write a memoir right now. Like, why this memoir? Why this story? And what are you most proud of in the book?
- [06:43]
Susan Lucci
This is a wonderful, very multifaceted question.
- [06:46]
Zibby Owens
Let's just start there. We'll go all over the place. Okay.
- [06:49]
Susan Lucci
Why now? Well, my first memoir came out 15 years ago, and when I wrote it, the title was All My Life. And what I realized living these last 15 years is that was not all my life. A lot of events happened in my life, some sad, some devastating, and some earlier and during some wonderful things. So I write about those stories in a voice that has evolved in me, too, in the last 15 years. So I feel like I'm much more candid now. And I was being honest and truthful in my first memoir, but I feel that I have found my more candid voice and the freedom to speak that way. And I wanted to. I wanted to tell my story in an effort to connect to others. I think when we tell our stories just as human beings, we share a lot in our humanity and it connects us to each other. And I wanted people to hear my story and the choices that I have made in these important times, and it will connect us.
- [07:57]
Zibby Owens
I agree. It absolutely connected when you shared your most vulnerable feelings about your own health, your husband's loss, being a mom, being a working mom, all the things that people are wrestling with. How do we stay healthy, take care of ourselves, not lose the plot in all of it? And I feel like you really addressed.
- [08:17]
Susan Lucci
Thank you so much. Thank you. You know, one thing I wanted to be sure about when I was writing, I was writing it with Laura Morton, who helped me with my first book, too. She's wonderful and she asks questions in a certain way that somehow just brought me out and brought me able to answer them because I'm not someone who just kind of randomly decides I'm going to tell people my story, you know, so she really was wonderful in that. And one thing I did say to her, and she has captured my voice. Well, we recorded the whole time, so my voice was right there. But I said, laura, I want to be sure we have no, you know, there are no teaching moments here. There's no teachable moments. There are no bumper stickers here. I simply want to tell my story and tell the choices that I made. And I think the audience is way smart enough to decide what they relate to and see if they find something that might in some way be relatable to them and make them feel not alone.
- [09:16]
Zibby Owens
Well, you show us at the beginning of your career more when you had a lot of self doubt. We didn't know if you didn't know your life story, you could read and think, well, did she get the part, like what ended up happening? And then of course, you take us through, as you go through the twists and turns on All My Children, the ending of the show, but also the some of the highlights. I think actually one of my favorites was when you were with your daughter Liza in, I don't know, some like department store restaurant and four people came up to you. Oh, and she. And. And she asked you why.
- [09:46]
Susan Lucci
Actually, he was. He was, yes.
- [09:49]
Zibby Owens
Oh, is Andreas. Oh, I'm sorry.
- [09:50]
Susan Lucci
No, because he's five years younger. That's how I remember him.
- [09:53]
Zibby Owens
Well, you tell the story.
- [09:55]
Susan Lucci
Oh, just. I'm glad you thought it was funny because I did too. Yeah, I was having lunch and Andreas was with me as a baby. Actually, Liza was with us too. Of course, she was still little and we were together and it was a restaurant. It was the Birdcage at Lord and Taylor and in my hometown. And you know, we all teach our children not to talk to strangers and so on. And during the course of the lunch, some people came up to me and spoke to me, and I spoke back to them. And when they left, Andrea said, who were they, Mommy? And I said, oh, honey, they are. There are some ladies who recognize me from my work on tv. And he said. He looked around, he said, so out of all these people, only four people recognized you? He's about four years old himself.
- [10:45]
Zibby Owens
Oh, my gosh, that's so cute. There's nothing like kids to just totally bring us down.
- [10:48]
Susan Lucci
Definitely keep our feet on the ground.
- [10:50]
Zibby Owens
And you talk in the book about how you would go and you would shoot and be all in the scene and everything and then race off, and next thing you know, you're on the soccer sidelines or whatever. Sports game or baseball. Yeah. And with the other parents. So you didn't miss a beat. You somehow made it all. You felt you fit it in the way you wanted to talk a little bit about that, because that can feel hard.
- [11:11]
Susan Lucci
Yes. And I'm sure any mother, you know, wants to be everywhere for everyone. If you have more than one child, you know, you have two soccer games.
- [11:19]
Zibby Owens
For each child on the weekend, and.
- [11:20]
Susan Lucci
That'S just with two. I don't know how people.
- [11:22]
Zibby Owens
I have four. You have four.
- [11:24]
Susan Lucci
Oh, my gosh. So you are, you know, very. You know, better than I ever do.
- [11:27]
Zibby Owens
They don't all play soccer, so we're good.
- [11:29]
Susan Lucci
Yes. But I never wanted my children to miss out on my being with them or anything, simply because I also, since I was a little girl, since I can remember, I wanted to be an actress. So I got to be an actress. But I didn't want my children to suffer anything if I couldn't be there. So I made sure I was there. And, yeah, it takes a lot of scheduling, a lot of planning, and a lot of help, you know, with your spouse to be on board with everything. And so you can make it in time. Because I would also stay for karate. When my son had karate, I would go there, and I didn't just drop him off, you know, I would stay. And if my daughter, as a little girl growing up, would have dance rehearsal or she was doing some wonderful work on stage as a little actress, you know, amateur, you know, nothing professional. I would stay and watch rehearsals, you know, so I really wanted to do that, make sure they didn't miss anything.
- [12:27]
Zibby Owens
So your sense of family is obviously so strong. You tell us all about your birth family, like your parents, everything. And then, of course, falling in love with your husband, Helmut, your relationship, his backstory, who he was really as a person. And then you take us into the crushing loss of losing him, which was so devastating. The way you wrote about it. We were. I felt like at times I was just reading your diary, that you were having a tough day and you just had to write it. And I was, like, there hoping I could, like, give you a hug and scoop you off the floor. So tell me a little bit about that and sort of retelling exactly what happened and the month where you were waiting and then writing it and having to relive it in that way. Was it helpful? Hurtful.
- [13:08]
Susan Lucci
It was just pouring out of me, you know, even before I was in courage to write a new memoir, I would wake up in the middle of the night, and things were just pouring out of me. I have pen and paper next to my side of the bed, and I just needed to write it and tell the story and write it. I talk about a dream that I had, and sometimes you can forget dreams. I didn't want to forget it. I wanted to remember, and I wanted to write these things. I don't know why. I just. I guess I couldn't help myself. And then being encouraged to Write by Nelson DeMille, who was a very good friend of both my husband and me. And he didn't know that I was up in the middle of the night writing, but it seemed like all the stars aligned, and I was being encouraged by other people in the publishing field and writers who I didn't even know knew that I had ever written a first book, you know, So I was very encouraged, and I thought, okay, I should do this.
- [14:15]
Zibby Owens
And what would Helmut say right now?
- [14:18]
Susan Lucci
Helmut was always encouraging me to do what I wanted to do, to say that, you know, Helmut was. He didn't stand in the way. He was part of. Part of everything I did, you know, he encouraged me, and he assured me that I could. I mean, there were times, and I talk about this in the book a little bit, too. Actors have stage fright sometimes. And, you know, and I would. Or I would read a script, and I'd say, oh, I want to do this, but I can't do this. I don't know if I can do this. He'd say, of course you can do this with one hand tied behind your back, you know, he was very much just encouraging.
- [14:53]
Zibby Owens
And I think you write so well about just how painful these setbacks, like losing someone you love more than life itself can be, or when you had your own heart issues or things that just kept coming up throughout the course of the book how you were able. Even though it didn't feel like you could at first, you were able to pick yourself back up. Whether it was the end of the show or the end of a life with someone so close to you. How do other people learn from you? Like I know you don't want teachable moments, but as any anyone wiser and who's been through it? Like what is the secret to getting through pain? Today's episode is sponsored by Wayfair. The new year is here and it is time to get back into an at home routine you love and elevate your space with Wayfair. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every room in your house, Wayfair is your one stop shop. I actually have used Wayfair so much because over the holidays I stayed with my mother in Arizona and told her it was definite, definitely time to redo the guest room where she has my kids stay because she hasn't touched it in decades and it needed a refresh and I said you know what Wayfair? So we got beds, lamps, side tables. We've been doing the whole room. It looks amazing. Everything came within a few days in perfect shape. It has been so fun. Wayfair has everything like the most enormous selection of home decor items and exactly what we wanted for the space we had. And it's still a work in progress. And I will share some pictures on Instagram. We're obsessed so you should get organized, refreshed and back on track this new year as well. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.
- [16:55]
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- [17:25]
Equip Health Advertiser
We live in a culture obsessed with dieting, weight loss and exercise, and that can make eating disorder behaviors easy to miss. But the reality is eating disorders are serious mental illnesses that take a major toll on your health and your life. But recovery is possible. Eating disorders are more common than you might think. Chances Are, you know, someone who is struggling with one or maybe you're struggling yourself? If you're concerned about an eating disorder in yourself or a loved one, I want to introduce you to Equip. Equip is a fully virtual evidence based eating disorder treatment program that helps patients achieve lasting recovery at home. Every EQIP patient is matched with a multidisciplinary care team that includes a therapist, dietitian, medical provider, and mentors. And you get a personalized treatment plan that's tailored to your unique goals and challenges. Equip treats patients of all ages and all eating disorder diagnoses. It's covered by insurance and there's no wait list. If you think that you or a loved one could be struggling with an eating disorder, don't wait to get help. Visit Equip Health to learn more. That's Equip Health.
- [18:36]
Susan Lucci
I don't think there is any such thing as a secret. The secret, it's different. Grief is so different for everyone. I will say there's no timeline. And somebody else's way of getting past the grief or living with the grief is maybe not the same as yours. But I think we can all learn from each other. And I think just knowing that you're not alone in it and that you can pick yourself up off the floor and take a step and find yourself again and find some hope again, I think it's possible. And when you see someone else do it, maybe you can read their story and relate to it and it can be of help to you.
- [19:25]
Zibby Owens
I love that you also. I thought it was so great. You were referencing all these books that you had read and authors who had inspired you through the journey. And you really can tell that you love to learn and like, you know, you're getting advice and all that. And then you gave us the whole reading list. So thank you for that. That was lovely. Oh, good.
- [19:42]
Susan Lucci
Well, friends had sent me books and they were such a help. And then I would hear about, you know, about some books and, you know, I'd incorporate those too. But, you know, I was very helped by those books also. I'm looking at the front cover and at the back cover. The back cover cover. Actually, my husband took that picture and we were really just setting up a shot. We were going to shoot something and. And Helmet became, you know, the production manager and the set decorator and the director and the photographer. So this was something I just had made into a photo of, of digitally. But I had it printed up for myself. So that was taken by Helmut in this on the first on the front cover. This was a shoot we did shortly before Helmut had a stroke, and he loved this outfit so much. I had never worn a jacket like that, and I was a little shy about coming downstairs. We shot this at the house, and this became his favorite thing. And he would say to me, we'd go out for dinner with friends, and I'd say, oh, I don't know you what to wear. And you say, van du. Wear that little black jacket. You know, honey, I can't wear this.
- [21:00]
Zibby Owens
I mean. I mean, you look amazing.
- [21:02]
Susan Lucci
Oh, thank you.
- [21:03]
Zibby Owens
I mean, maybe we could talk about that. What are your secrets to, you know, looking so awesome no matter what? I mean, you've. I'm not going to ask your age, because I would never. But, like, you look. You have fewer wrinkles than I do, and we're, like, sitting here together.
- [21:17]
Susan Lucci
I. So nice.
- [21:19]
Zibby Owens
What is. What is your skin care? You have a. You have a regimen you like?
- [21:21]
Susan Lucci
I do. Products you love. I do. And they have varied because I will try new things, but I have a basic regimen, and the regimen is important to me. You know, I. I am disciplined about that, and I think that's probably a key. I also think it's really good to take things a day at a time, and it helps you keep disciplined. Because if you're only doing it for one more day or one more night. Night. And it takes a little longer than it used to, too. There's more to it. But, you know, take your makeup off. Do. Do all the. The steps. If you. If you. If you look fine today, well, you're not going to look worse tomorrow, you know, so if you just take it a day at a time, because it can be really overwhelming, I think, when we think, oh, I have to do this now for five years or 10 years or whatever, you know?
- [22:07]
Zibby Owens
Yeah, I hear you. Oh, my gosh. Is there anything you miss about being in the spotlight every single day and acting every single day and just having that routine in your life versus this stage of your life? Do you miss. Do you wish you could go back? Are you happy where you are?
- [22:26]
Susan Lucci
Oh, that's a big question, too. I miss being part of a team. I miss that. And the teams I was part of, particularly All My Children. And then after that, Devious Maids that Mark Cherry wrote. I mean, it was in such good hands on both those times. Those were many years. So I miss the team and the people who made up the team. Something very special to have in one's life to be part of that Kind of a team. So I miss that. I don't miss the schedule. In fact, I am still close to a number of people from abc and we sometimes look at each other and say, oh my God, did we do that? Because do you remember there was a song Dolly Parton wrote working nine to five.
- [23:10]
Zibby Owens
Yes.
- [23:11]
Susan Lucci
We said five to nine.
- [23:15]
Zibby Owens
Non stop, non stop.
- [23:17]
Susan Lucci
You didn't leave the studio till you got it right, until it was all there, even when you were coming back early the next morning. So it was, it was definitely like Old man river just kept rolling along.
- [23:29]
Zibby Owens
Are there things that people who have watched you for years or feel like they know you? I mean, I feel in this book you gave us so much information from, you know, how you handle anything from, you know, the aftermath of loss to your daily, you know, post, your interactions with friends, like all the things that are the inner, inner world of people, right. That we don't see behind the curtain. And you revealed a lot here. But if there was something that the people who feel they know you are going to learn that they'd be most surprised about that. It's a roundabout way of asking this question, like, what do you. What do you think it would be? Is there, like, how closely do you feel your public image adheres to your private one?
- [24:14]
Susan Lucci
Well, I think that people who only know me as Erica Cain will be.
- [24:19]
Zibby Owens
Very surprised that you're not.
- [24:24]
Susan Lucci
I think that would be surprising. As I said, I think that my voice is. The voice I have evolved to have in this writing is more candid than they see. And also, if people see me at all, you know, they'll see me in interview situations on tv. Those are very short segments. I think they're seven minutes altogether. And that's time for the person to ask a question and an answer. And there's another question. It's not much time to really express what is really what you're feeling or what you're doing and thinking. So I think there's more time here. Not that it's a big, long book, but there's more freedom to speak this way. Also in the recorded book. I have to say I had a wonderful time recording the book, which I did right here. The book is in my voice for sure. But then you actually be able to actually be the one with the voice. Recording just kind of opened it up so much for me, too. I had fun recording.
- [25:23]
Zibby Owens
And what brings you the most joy right now?
- [25:27]
Susan Lucci
I don't know what to say to that. I'm able to think that there is joy. You know, it's not the same joy, but there is joy. And I'm able at least to understand that I have some joy. It an ongoing situation. Okay.
- [25:45]
Zibby Owens
Do you have advice for all the people out there who just wish they could have a career like the one that you've had, a life that. The one that you write about in the book? No. Really? I mean, this is a dream come true for in some respects, obviously, nothing inoculates you from loss. Right. But how do you. How do you encourage people to do. To pursue their or artistic goals?
- [26:08]
Susan Lucci
I think to learn everything they can, get the best training they can. To do what you love to begin with, to do what you love. And if you really love it, you know, go for it. Don't put blinders on. Learn from your mistakes too. Don't be afraid. And realize there are lots of ways to be in a certain field. You know, if the performance doesn't work out well, there's people producing and there's writing and many, many adjacent areas that you can go into. But remember in New York, here in the city, there was a fleet of buses called the Big Red Bus. And they decided to name each bus after a New Yorker. And they named one after me. And I was so honored, so honored. And they asked me to sign one of the seats and say something to people who would be coming on in that signature. And so I wrote, dream big and enjoy the ride. I think that's really important.
- [27:10]
Zibby Owens
I love that. Perfect. Well, Susan, thank you so much for talking to me twice. I can't even believe we had to do this again. I'm so sorry. But thank you for all of your time and for being so gracious about everything.
- [27:22]
Susan Lucci
You're so welcome. And back at you. I mean, I'm so happy to be meet you in person. I prefer this.
- [27:26]
Zibby Owens
This was fun. Me too. Should have done this from the start. Thank you so much.
- [27:29]
Susan Lucci
Thank you.
- [27:31]
Zibby Owens
Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have time to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review. Follow me on Instagram, ibbeowens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the book.
- [27:52]
Capital One Advertiser
With no fees or minimums on checking accounts. It's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about in a good way, what's in your wallet. Terms apply. See capitalone.com Bank Capital One NA Member FDIC.
- [28:23]
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- [29:24]
Susan Lucci
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- [29:32]
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- [29:37]
Zibby Owens
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- [29:38]
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- [30:03]
Susan Lucci
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