215. Batsheva Haart: My Unorthodox Life star shares secrets of breaking out of an orthodox religion and community. The power of mindset from dating, marriage, and divorce. Honoring what was and what is present.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Trading Secrets Episode 215 – Batsheva Hart: Breaking Free from an Orthodox Life

Podcast Information:

• Title: Trading Secrets
• Host: Jason Tartick, Audioboom Studios
• Episode: 215
• Guest: Batsheva Hart, star of Netflix's My Unorthodox Life
• Release Date: December 30, 2024

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1. Introduction

Jason Tartick opens the episode by expressing excitement about the guest and the unique topic of religion, a departure from the typical financial and career-focused discussions on the podcast. He introduces Batsheva Hart, known for her role in My Unorthodox Life, highlighting her journey from an Orthodox Jewish upbringing to her life in New York City.

2. Growing Up in an Orthodox Family

Batsheva shares her experiences growing up in a tightly-knit Orthodox Jewish community. She describes the insular nature of her upbringing, where questioning religious norms was uncommon due to limited exposure to alternative lifestyles and beliefs.

• Quote [06:19]: “I was in such a small little bubble. I didn't really question anything because it didn't make sense to me.”

3. Breaking Away: The Catalyst for Change

The turning point for Batsheva and her family came through her sister, who began questioning their religious practices, particularly around topics like sexuality. This led her mother to reevaluate and eventually leave the Orthodox community.

• Quote [07:20]: “My sister was like, why am I doing this? This doesn't make sense. And it made my mom question.”

4. Navigating Relationships within Orthodox Constraints

Batsheva delves into the strict dating rules within her community, where relationships were only permissible with the intention of marriage. She recounts her own experiences of secretly dating and marrying young, highlighting the emotional and social challenges she faced.

• Quote [12:51]: “You don't date until you're dating for marriage. I never went to an all-girls high school.”

5. The Divorce and Financial Independence

The episode touches on Batsheva’s divorce at 28, discussing the financial stress it caused. She credits her mother for instilling the importance of financial independence, which provided her the freedom to leave her marriage without financial constraints.

• Quote [20:06]: “My mom taught me to have my own financial independence. It gave me the freedom to do whatever I want.”

6. Transition to Content Creation and Social Media

Post-divorce, Batsheva transitioned into social media and content creation, finding a platform to express her experiences and connect with a broader audience. She shares how she leveraged her background and personal growth to build a successful career online.

• Quote [25:15]: “Social media gives you the ability to connect with so many people and there's no ceiling on how much you can make.”

7. Balancing Tradition and Modernity

Despite leaving organized religion, Batsheva maintains certain traditions like celebrating Shabbat in her own way—using it as a day of rest by disconnecting from social media and work. She emphasizes the importance of respecting religious practices while forging her own path.

• Quote [10:35]: “Growing up, I celebrated Shabbat with no electronics. Now, it feels like a day of rest without work.”

8. Trading Secrets: Personal Growth and Mindset

Batsheva and Jason discuss essential trading secrets related to personal growth, mindset, and maintaining a positive outlook. Batsheva shares her practice of daily gratitude, which has significantly impacted her mental well-being and outlook on life.

• Quote [33:43]: “Practicing gratitude every day has made me a positive person, even on bad days.”

9. Insights on Dating and Relationships

Batsheva offers valuable dating advice, advocating for honest communication and discouraging behaviors like ghosting. She emphasizes the importance of setting clear expectations and maintaining respect in all interactions.

• Quote [32:52]: “Don't ghost them. Send a nice message saying you're not interested.”

10. The Importance of Consistency in Content Creation

The conversation shifts to the business side of Batsheva’s endeavors, particularly podcasting. Jason highlights the significance of consistency for sustainability and growth, suggesting that regular content helps in establishing a clear brand.

• Quote [56:32]: “Consistency is key for sustainability in podcasting.”

11. Reflection and Future Plans

In the closing segments, Batsheva reflects on her journey, expressing pride in her personal growth and professional achievements. Jason and his co-host David discuss potential future directions for the podcast, including increasing episode frequency and incorporating more diverse topics.

12. Final Thoughts and Conclusion

Jason wraps up the episode by commending Batsheva for her openness and honesty. He underscores the importance of respecting diverse beliefs and lifestyles, regardless of personal differences.

• Quote [61:36]: “Everyone can coexist. Let's agree not to judge each other.”

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [06:19] Batsheva Hart: “I was in such a small little bubble. I didn't really question anything because it didn't make sense to me.”
• [07:20] Batsheva Hart: “My sister was like, why am I doing this? This doesn't make sense. And it made my mom question.”
• [12:51] Batsheva Hart: “You don't date until you're dating for marriage. I never went to an all-girls high school.”
• [20:06] Batsheva Hart: “My mom taught me to have my own financial independence. It gave me the freedom to do whatever I want.”
• [25:15] Batsheva Hart: “Social media gives you the ability to connect with so many people and there's no ceiling on how much you can make.”
• [10:35] Batsheva Hart: “Growing up, I celebrated Shabbat with no electronics. Now, it feels like a day of rest without work.”
• [33:43] Batsheva Hart: “Practicing gratitude every day has made me a positive person, even on bad days.”
• [32:52] Batsheva Hart: “Don't ghost them. Send a nice message saying you're not interested.”
• [56:32] Jason Tartick: “Consistency is key for sustainability in podcasting.”
• [61:36] Jason Tartick: “Everyone can coexist. Let's agree not to judge each other.”

Key Takeaways:

• Personal Freedom through Financial Independence: Batsheva emphasizes the importance of having one's own financial resources to make life choices independently.
• Balancing Tradition and Modernity: Maintaining cultural practices while adapting to contemporary lifestyles fosters personal growth and respect for diverse beliefs.
• Positive Mindset and Self-Talk: Daily gratitude and positive self-talk are pivotal in maintaining mental well-being and a positive outlook.
• Honest Communication in Relationships: Transparency and respect in dating practices build healthier and more meaningful connections.
• Consistency in Content Creation: Regularity in producing content is crucial for sustaining and growing a personal brand or business.

Conclusion

Episode 215 of Trading Secrets offers a profound look into Batsheva Hart's journey from an Orthodox Jewish upbringing to a flourishing career in content creation. Through candid discussions on religion, relationships, financial independence, and personal growth, Batsheva provides listeners with valuable insights and trading secrets applicable to navigating both personal and professional landscapes. Her story underscores the power of questioning, the importance of financial autonomy, and the value of maintaining a positive mindset.

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Resources Mentioned:

• Netflix Show: My Unorthodox Life – Batsheva Hart's reality TV series.
• Podcast: Batsheva’s own podcast, Heart to Heart.
• Books: Jason Tartick’s book, Talk Money to Me, exploring the intersection of love and money.

Follow Batsheva Hart:

• Social Media: @batshevahart2A
• Podcast: Heart to Heart – Available on all major podcast platforms.

Subscribe to Trading Secrets: Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or watch on YouTube. Don’t forget to follow, leave a five-star review, and participate in giveaways by sharing your Instagram handle or email.

Transcript

[Jason Tardick]

Foreign. Welcome back to another episode of Trading Secrets. I'm your host Jason Tardick and welcome to the pre market trading segment where I'll tell you just a little bit about our guests. Something you need to know about what's happening in spending or the market. In an update from my personal life, before you even listen to another word, remember if you are listening on Apple or Spotify, please just hit follow. Go to YouTube. You could watch this whole episode, just type in Jason Tardick and give us a follow there. And the biggest thing, please give us a five star review and let us know a guest, a theme or someone that you want on this podcast. We're also doing a couple of giveaways. So if you do put a review, make sure you put your Instagram handle or your email address and we will make sure that you are in the raffle to to win something from our little giveaway. Now this episode is awesome. I'm really excited about this one because it's different. It's a topic we've really never touched on. And in the recap we get into the weeds on it. But we're getting into religion now. Why are we getting into religion? Because there's a Netflix show called My Unorthodox Life where Bathsheba Hart talks a lot and shares the story of how her family was in orthodox religion, some of the rules that they had to live under, how they broke through, and how it impacted her life. So you're gonna hear the before, the during, the after. And this was an episode that like, I will be listening back three or four times because it is wildly stimulating, extremely interesting, and it's 30 minutes of just pew, pew, pew, just firing just like every single sentence. You're like, whoa, whoa, wait, what? Really? How? In the rec we talk all about it, so stay tuned for that. But now let's talk a couple numbers here. So this is the last week of 2024. 2025 is upon us. I don't know about you guys, but I am ready to smash down this door to 2024, rip it open to 2025 and say, let's go New Year. Learned a lot last year, but I am just ready to rip and roar. So I am excited for the new year, but let's talk a couple bucks here. So here's some interesting New Year's Eve Fun facts for 2024. 128/million is the number of Americans who will travel for the New year's holiday. With 65% of them driving to a destination, 69% are the share of Americans who spend at least 50 bucks on New Year's Eve for food and drinks. 50 bucks. I feel like these days, especially like I'm going to be in New York City for New Year's Eve. And these days it's like a cocktail is 30 bucks. It's gotten out of control, I'll tell you that much. 54% is the share of Americans who plan to celebrate New Year's Eve with family or friends. Only 31% will eat out or order food for pickup or delivery. And $87 is the average cost for a couple to enjoy a dinner and a show on New Year's eve in the three largest cities, New York, L.A. and Chicago. I'll give you my take. I'm not a New Year's Eve guy. I think it's overrated. I think there's too many people. I think expectations always come up short. It's not my thing. I love events. I love going out. I love spending a couple bucks for a nice occasion on New Year's Eve. It's just not for me. And I say it's not for me. And my dumb ass is still going to be out. So I know I'm going to be in New York City. And that's a little update for my personal life. I'm going to be there because I am actually have to be there early January and then I'm heading to Boston for the Buffalo Bills New England Patriots game with some friends and maybe starting to peek around at a couple places too, so we'll see. But I get to New York on December 30th and I'll be there up until January 4th. Now, there is one last number I want to share about the holiday spending. 36% of Americans took on holiday debt this year, averaging $1,181. That's a lot of action to take on debt for holiday spending. Okay, it happened. Everything I say, don't shame, don't blame, don't weaponize. Let's just learn and how to fix it. So if you did take on some debt, let's put a plan in place to just understand what your cash inflow is, how you can take your cash outflow to accelerate that payment and get that down to zero. Because we just don't want those 20 to 30% interest rates on credit card debt. But you know what? Enough of credit card debt talk. Happy New Year's Eve, Happy New Year's day and happy 2025. If you're listening in 2025, let's ring in the Bell with one of the most interesting podcasts yet with Bat Sheva. Let's talk all about religion. Welcome back to another episode of Trading Secrets. Today we are joined by fashion and lifestyle content creator and reality TV personality from Netflix, My Unorthodox Life, Bathsheba Hart. Bathsheba rose to fame after starring alongside her family in the hit Netflix series where they spoke in depth about their former Orthodox life and how they're living their best lives in New York City. Having grown up with a parent in the fashion industry and eventually gone on to fit, Batsheva has worked her way into the corporate world of fashion, including various designs and product internships. Her experience in those roles, along with learning hands on from her mother, has helped shape her career as a content creator. Today, having partnered with multiple fashion and beauty brands such as Aloe Yoga, Target and Neutrogena, we are going to discuss all things related to fashion and lifestyle, her time on reality tv, and how she's been able to balance between religion and the modern world. Well, Batsheva, thank you so much for joining us on Trading Secrets.

[Batsheva Hart]

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

[Jason Tardick]

Now this is a topic that I find just so fascinating and we've never talked about on Trading Secrets. We really don't step into religion at all. So talk to me a little bit about when you were a child growing up in an Orthodox family, what were some of the maybe traditions or day to day things that even as a child you were like, I don't, huh. I don't know if I want to do this or I actually really like this. Like, tell me about the experience. Experience. As a child growing up in a.

[Batsheva Hart]

Family like that, I think that I was in such a small little bubble. I didn't really question anything because I didn't see anything to question. It was just this is the way it is. This is how you're brought up. You're not really subjected to any other ways of religion or lifestyles because it's such an insular community that I only got exposed to other ways of life. Once my mom left the community. I was like, oh, okay, there's other ways to be Jewish. There's other ways to celebrate religion. And it gave me the opportunity to look outside. But until that point I was pretty much all in because I didn't have any opportunity to question it.

[Jason Tardick]

Interesting. Because you see there's so many different shows and stuff on all different religions and communities like that. There's a big theme there of the importance of being able to live, experience, see, and do things outside of maybe the confide structure that's put in place. And I think, like, almost everyone can relate to that in some capacity. What was it for your mom that made her step away from it?

[Batsheva Hart]

She always says it was my sister, because my sister did question things. I'm more of a go with the flow. I don't like to ruffle feathers. My sister was like, why am I doing this? This doesn't make sense. And she questioned it a lot. And I think that made my mom question. And then she decided to look outside, and what she found was that she didn't agree with religion at all.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah. That's so interesting. You said that you, you know, with your experiences, it was hard for you to kind of see what other things were like. What do you think it was about your sister that allowed her to question it with limited experience?

[Batsheva Hart]

Well, she's bisexual, so I think. I'm sure that had to do with, in the religious world, being gay or dating, you know, the same sex is very. No, no. So I'm sure that inspired her to question, like, why is this wrong?

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah.

[Batsheva Hart]

Or why does religion say it's wrong? I think that definitely influenced it. And I think her and my mom are very similar. They're wired the same way. They just have this, like, tenacity to, like, question things. And I admire that about them.

[Jason Tardick]

I love that. I love that. Yeah. My brother is gay and married, and I always thought that was so just in the idea that, you know, suppose there is a God, right? Suppose that exists, which, you know, most of the world. Who knows, most of the world believes that that is the case. Wouldn't. Wouldn't he, like, want people to live in a state of happiness? You know, like, it's like. It seems a little contradict, you know, a lot of some of the structural things or the more of the traditional things seem quite dated. So I think challenging creates conflict, and conflict creates growth. You know what I mean?

[Batsheva Hart]

Absolutely. Yeah. I think what I learned the most about religion is that a lot of people find comfort in it. I'm not religious at all anymore, but I've realized that there are a lot of people who, like, for someone to say, this is how you should live your life, this is how you should treat people. They like the rules and regulations. And I'm more. I like just having a good moral compass and no rules.

[Jason Tardick]

Right. I think. I think that makes perfect sense. New year, new you, maybe a new refresh in your office or your home. If you are Looking to give your home or office just a little bit of an update. I have a trading secret for you and it is court furniture. With court furniture you can do a lot of things. You can buy some used furniture at a good price or you can rent furniture. Now let me tell you the best part about renting the furniture. You pay the monthly fee and they come in red carpet service, they deliver all the furniture. They literally will hang up the paintings on your wall if you need it and the second you want it out, boom, snap your fingers, they will come pick it up and take it out. And of course, if you want a discount furniture, you can buy the used furniture. So if you are looking for a, you know, new you, maybe even a new office or a new look at home, go to court.combackslash podcast. That's C-O-R-T.com podcast for special savings on furniture rental. What were some things like as someone who just isn't familiar in totality with orthodox lifestyle, there are certain things with technology, right, and lighting and use of the Internet and things you can see and say. What were some of those things that our listeners like, might not know about but would find fascinating?

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah, I mean, growing up, I celebrated Shabbat, which is from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. And you use no electronics, no light switches. I mean you a lot of times like your lights are on timers or your oven is like left on so you could heat things up but you don't turn on the oven, you don't turn on your tv, you don't get in your car. So you're really like stuck inside with your friends and family, which is. There's benefits to that. I celebrate Shabbat now in the sensory. Don't work on Friday night Saturday, I don't post on social media so it feels like a day of rest.

[Jason Tardick]

But I go out once sundown hits Friday. That's when you'll.

[Batsheva Hart]

I won't post on social media.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay. Until when?

[Batsheva Hart]

Until sundown Saturday.

[Jason Tardick]

Until sundown Saturday.

[Batsheva Hart]

For me. That's how I celebrate it still. But growing up there was just like you were just at home with your friends and family, eating food, drinking, which is nice, but I felt very left out of the world. And you, I don't know, I just, I never really related to it. It didn't feel like a day of rest to me when I couldn't turn on the tv.

[Jason Tardick]

Got it. So you'll still socialize. You just won't post on social though.

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah, I go out. It's Friday.

[Jason Tardick]

And you'll go out tonight?

[Batsheva Hart]

Oh, no, I'm going out. But I'm saying for me it feels like a different day. It still feels like a day of rest because I'm not working, which I think is beautiful.

[Jason Tardick]

And having this phone tied to us is definitely a sense of work. So doing that, I did it. I don't know if I ever shared on the podcast. I went to Israel for my mba and then we did a whole trip out there, went to different VCs and stuff. But we did a Shabbat dinner. It was lovely. And my mom, My mom's Jewish, so in Israel, technically, I'm Jewish.

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah. And you're Jewish everywhere.

[Jason Tardick]

I'm Jewish everywhere. It's everywhere, right?

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah, yeah. It's by the mom. That's.

[Jason Tardick]

It's by the mom.

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah. Because my brother did Birthright and but so. But we did a Shabbat dinner and I thought the idea of it is brilliant. Right? You. You bring your friends and family together, you celebrate life and you unwind and you just totally. No phones. Right. Connect phones at dinner, they use candle lighting. No actual lighting. And I was like, this is.

[David]

This is.

[Batsheva Hart]

They didn't have lights on.

[Jason Tardick]

They didn't have lights on. They just had candle lighting.

[Batsheva Hart]

Interesting.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay. Yeah.

[Batsheva Hart]

That I haven't seen.

[Jason Tardick]

Gotcha. Interesting. What about dating in the world of Orthodox? Like, what were some of the rules as a kid, like, you had to follow or things that were maybe different from the norm?

[Batsheva Hart]

Well, you don't date until you're dating for marriage. So I never. I went to an all girls high school. I scandalously had my first kiss out of high school when I was 17, but that was a big no. Now you weren't allowed to do that. Wow.

[Jason Tardick]

So if you kiss someone in high school, that would be.

[Batsheva Hart]

You'd probably be kicked out of school. Yeah. You don't go on dates, you don't talk to boys. I didn't have conversations with opposite sex besides my family friends until I was dating for marriage, so to speak. But then I met my ex husband, like through family friends and that we hid our relationship for a while because we weren't supposed to be dating because he was the same age as me and getting. I got married at 19, but that's still really young for a guy, even in the religious world.

[Jason Tardick]

But what. So if you guys met from friends and then you were also dating with the intention to marriage, why'd you have to hide it?

[Batsheva Hart]

Well, we weren't dating with. He was really young. We met when we were like, 17, 18. So he wasn't really supposed to be dating for marriage yet. And.

[Jason Tardick]

Wait, hold, hold on. At what point is a male in the Orthodox community supposed to date for marriage?

[Batsheva Hart]

I would say, like, 21. We're not pushing the boundaries in terms of, like, it's not older, but it's a little bit older out of high school. So you're not. You're dating with a purpose of marriage only. Like, you save yourself for marriage. I save myself for marriage.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay.

[Batsheva Hart]

And that was kind of the reason you get married so young. Cause they're like, God forbid you should have sex out of marriage.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah.

[Batsheva Hart]

So that's why they push women and men to get married really young, because that's a fear.

[Jason Tardick]

Interesting. Okay, we're gonna tie this to business, too, because I've heard and read that you said that your divorce caused a little bit of stress and anxiety around finances.

[David]

That's.

[Jason Tardick]

Love equals money. Before we do that, though, now, where you are today, how has that shaped? Like, what's your view on relationships today versus what it was then?

[Batsheva Hart]

Oh, well, very different.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah, I would imagine. That's why I asked.

[Batsheva Hart]

I actually, I. You guys talk about sex on this podc.

[Jason Tardick]

We talk about it all.

[Batsheva Hart]

I am. Art Basel was my. I called it losing my post marriage virginity.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay.

[Batsheva Hart]

I was recently single out of my divorce, and my mom was like, this is ridiculous. You're so sad. You need to get laid.

[Jason Tardick]

Your mom's.

[Batsheva Hart]

My mom. My mom's great.

[Jason Tardick]

What a full circle moment.

[Batsheva Hart]

So I was going to our Basel, and she was like, this is a great opportunity for you.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah.

[Batsheva Hart]

You're going to meet a lot of people. Just have fun, you know, don't think about it too much. Like, rip off the band aid. I wasn't religious. I wasn't, like, saving myself or anything, but I was just, like, nervous about it. And I came to Basel with a mission.

[Jason Tardick]

Mission accomplished.

[Batsheva Hart]

Mission got accomplished. And all I can say is that I remember this guy left, and he was like, you must do this a lot. And I was like, if you only knew. You were the second person I've ever been with my entire life.

[Jason Tardick]

You didn't tell him, did you?

[Batsheva Hart]

Oh, no, no. I did a podcast episode about it, and he found out that way.

[Jason Tardick]

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[Batsheva Hart]

As just your stance.

[Jason Tardick]

Live your life, do your life, live your life.

[Batsheva Hart]

I think women, you know, if you want to express yourself, there should be no judgment. Men in society can do whatever they want in terms of if they want to hook up or not. And I think that I wanted to take that power back for myself. In the moment. I was really emotionally unavailable for anything. So sex just felt like a thing. It didn't have any value. Now three years later, I'm way more into meaningful experiences.

[Jason Tardick]

Totally get it. That is fascinating, this topic. I keep wanting to jump to business, but it's so stimulating to me. What is the reason then? You've seen both sides of the coin. You've seen the community that tells you at 19 you should get married, you shouldn't date and kiss. Do you think that's the law, the land for the Bible, or do you think it's more for security and safety of just the. The mental aspect of parents within this religion? Like why are they putting that type of focus on these 17 year olds and 18 year olds?

[Batsheva Hart]

What do you think of that? It's all sex based. It's literally so you shouldn't have sex out of marriage. So they want you to be in a relationship like, you know, a law abiding relationship within the Bible so that it's sacred.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay, so it's all around sacred. It's all around following the specifics of what the Bible says based on the interpretation of that religion.

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah. And women's jobs in religion is to have Babies. So for the most part. So you're supposed to get young and like fulfill your life goal of being a mother and having children. And you can't do that out of marriage. So you got to get on that train immediately.

[Jason Tardick]

It would be interesting to get your take or your family's take to do an interpretation of the Bible based on what you guys think it should be done versus what your. Your community did think it should be done.

[Batsheva Hart]

I think, I think I would say besides my, my dad and my brother, they are so religious, the rest of us aren't religious at all. So we're very proud of our Jewish identity. Like, I would love to have Shabbat dinner with my family one day. Purely more of like a family tradition, not religious based. So I, I don't think I really believe in a Bible.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah, gotcha.

[Batsheva Hart]

I respect it. Just, it's not for me.

[Jason Tardick]

And it comes to your sister and also my brother and just life. I look at religion like whatever religion you are, practice it, preach it, live it, enjoy it, be your best self, try not to judge others. And I'm here to love and be good to all different religions in all different places and people. So glad we got that figured out. Well, I'm glad we had that conversation because it also connects to your divorce that you went through. And your divorce, you did say that it caused stress around anxiety around personal finances. Second book I wrote is called Talk Money to Me, all about this intersection of love and money. And we're seeing day by day right now. Money becomes becoming the forefront of issues in relationships during and after. So I just want to get your take on why was it such a struggle for you?

[Batsheva Hart]

I think the biggest life lesson my mom taught me was to have as a woman my own financial independence. So I think I was different than a lot of people growing up, like specifically in the religious world that I had a job, I was making money. So when I did want to exit my relationship, that didn't hold me back. Whereas a lot of women in my position maybe would have been like, I want to get out of this, but how am I going to live? So I'm so thankful to my mom that she was like, make your own money so you will always have freedom to do whatever you want. But I still never paid a bill. I didn't know what a credit card statement looked like. I never got the mail, booked a flight. I didn't take care of any of those things. So when I got out of my relationship, thankfully my ex had set me up with a financial Advisor and helped me put my credit cards on autopay and gave me. It was really nice. We had a great.

[Jason Tardick]

Sounds like it was an amicable spot.

[Batsheva Hart]

Very amicable spot.

[Jason Tardick]

Why'd you guys break up?

[Batsheva Hart]

Religion for the most part.

[Jason Tardick]

Oh, wow. So as you were pushing away. He was.

[Batsheva Hart]

He was. We very much gradually moved along together into like a modern orthodox lifestyle. But then when we talked about raising a family, he wanted to raise him more religious and I didn't want religion at all. I think I was doing a lot of it out of respect for him because we got married when I was in a different place in life. So I held on as long as I could and because he was my best friend and I think he was my soulmate for that period of my life and I'll always respect him, but I didn't want him to live his life the way I wanted to live and I didn't want to live the way he wanted to live long term.

[Jason Tardick]

If he was willing to take a different stance on how to raise the kids, you think you guys would still be together?

[Batsheva Hart]

I don't know. I don't like to think like that.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah, it's a good perspective.

[Batsheva Hart]

Like, I think everything happened for a reason. I'm so thankful for my relationship because I had a beautiful marriage and I'm happy he was my person I transitioned with. But I've never looked back at that decision.

[Jason Tardick]

It sounds like through the divine. I can't tell you. I've heard of one divorce where you. The other partners like doing everything in their power to help, like educate and still put them in a good position. Like, that's beautiful.

[Batsheva Hart]

We had a really like as good of a split as you can have, I think we had. Because we never got to that point of disliking each other. We always. We exited the relationship with a lot of love.

[Jason Tardick]

Wow, that's beautiful.

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay, so you get married at 19.

[Batsheva Hart]

Yes.

[Jason Tardick]

Right. And then you get divorced. It was 20. 21. Was it?

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah, I was 28.

[Jason Tardick]

28.

[Batsheva Hart]

Okay.

[Jason Tardick]

So then within that time period from 21 to 28, of course there's a lot going on in your life. But professionally, where are you earning majority of your income at this point?

[Batsheva Hart]

So I started off as being a nanny on the side when I was going to fit. I went to. Started going to college at 24 because it wasn't ever anything that I was going to do until my mom left and I was like, wait, there's stuff out here. I want to get an education.

[Jason Tardick]

Were you not going to Go to college because of religion?

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah.

[Jason Tardick]

Does religion. Did your religion say that they.

[Batsheva Hart]

People will go to college, but they'll go to be, like, a nurse or a teacher or a bookkeeper, and none of those things were interesting to me.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay.

[Batsheva Hart]

I went to cosmetology school. I went to culinary school, so it's always very creative. But college for the arts was a complete secular world, so I was never going to do that because I was in my little insular bubble of the community. And then once my mom left, I was like, wait, I can explore. I can go to school. I can get an education. And even though I was a little older than everyone in my class, I was so happy to go.

[Jason Tardick]

That's cool. So 24 is when you started school. That's pretty cool. You finish and you go to fit. What did the career track look like from then? Because you probably finished right around the divorce, right?

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah. So I was doing. I started doing social media around, like, 25, 26, while I was still in school. So I had gotten my associates in accessories design, and then I was off for the summer. Blogging was really big. So in 2017, I was like, let me try this out. And I ended up loving it. So I switched my major from design to direct and interactive marketing.

[Jason Tardick]

Cool.

[Batsheva Hart]

And I started doing social media part time. I told my ex at the time that it would take me five years to make enough money to, like, be sustainable. And it took me, like, three, two to three years. Yeah.

[Jason Tardick]

What did you define as sustainable?

[Batsheva Hart]

I think, like, a full, full paycheck. Right. I always said, like, that I could, like, add avocado on my salad. That was your thing, you know, like, the two extra dollars that they're like, we'll charge you. Like, I didn't want to think about the two extra dollars.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay. It's my job here as a podcast guest to guess what that means. I'm gonna say that means around 70 grand.

[Batsheva Hart]

I don't even know at the time in 2017.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay. But you make enough to add avocados to the salad, so that's a good place to be. You then go full time. How has the social media career treated you since going full time? And were you full time when you were married or was it all after the divorce?

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah, I was full time when I was married. It was. It's really amazing. I think what's beautiful about social media is I, growing up, struggled because I want to be a mom, but I also want a career, and I want that independence. And I found that this space I have so much flexibility. I have the ability to work from anywhere. If I ever want to bring my family into it, I can. I used to do a lot of couples content and now I do a lot more like single girl content.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay.

[Batsheva Hart]

But I think what's amazing about social media is it gives you the ability to connect with so many people and there's no ceiling on how much you can make true, which is amazing.

[Jason Tardick]

Have you seen it grow every year?

[Batsheva Hart]

Absolutely. It's been so rewarding to be able to connect with people and make that my job.

[Jason Tardick]

That's great. The best thing when it comes to investing is time. And if you have time on your side, you are in good shape. Now let's take it a step further. If you're a parent, are you taking full responsibility of time as it relates to building a financial future for your child? Well, if not, listen up. Fabric by Gerber Life was designed by parents for parents to make an easy plan to manage your financial family path. With a kid's investment account from Fabric you can start investing in your child's future. Today funds can be used for nearly anything benefiting your child from tuition and tutors, music classes. And when they're adults and on their own, they can use their funds for anything they need. Just start with $20 with no contribution limits, tax advantages and of course Your funds are SIPC insured up to $500,000. Jo Thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family. Start investing now and invest in your child's future. @meetfabric.com trading secrets that is meatfabric.com trading secrets M E E T F A b r I c.com Trading Secrets Portfolios managed by Fort Washington Investment Advisors Inc. Additional services provided by Apex Clearing Corporation all investing is subject to risk. Learn [e-mail] and I mean to see how it's gone from couples content to single content to now doing your own thing. You're a part time married now you're full time in social media. When I think about the differences in your life from your teens to where you are today and then even the divorce. One thing we talk about often on this show, I'm just curious how it tied to your life is like prenups. What is the take on prenups in in the orthodox Jewish religion? I would assume that it's a very anti prenup.

[Batsheva Hart]

I think now people are talking about it. I got married I don't know 2012. So a long time ago. Yeah but now I think people talk about it a lot more. Because divorce is something that happens more often, unfortunately. Whereas before. But when you're 19 and you're getting married to a 19 year old, you don't really have an income. So it's more on the families. Yeah, if there's like family money involved that people will do that.

[Jason Tardick]

Gotcha.

[Batsheva Hart]

But when you're that young, it's like, I don't have anything. I don't even know what I'm gonna have. How can I? What am I prenuping?

[Jason Tardick]

What am I pre numping? Yeah.

[Batsheva Hart]

But now I will get.

[Jason Tardick]

Got it. Netflix. My unorthodox life. Were you surprised? Excited. What'd you think about the edit?

[Batsheva Hart]

I thought it was great. I mean, I think it was on point. My friends watched it and were like, you're exactly yourself on camera and off camera. So I took that as a compliment. Even for the things that people didn't agree with. I was being authentically myself.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay. Reality TV or any type of docu series in your future.

[Batsheva Hart]

I would love to be a host of something. That's why I started my podcast, Gotcha.

[Jason Tardick]

And what would you like to be a host of?

[Batsheva Hart]

I don't know exactly. Some sort of dating show maybe. Love. I mean, I love fashion as well, but I like the ability to connect and give my insight.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay, so possibly hosting. Would you go on as a castmate into dating or challenge show? No, you would not. That's a hard.

[Batsheva Hart]

No, hard pass.

[Jason Tardick]

Why the hard pass?

[Batsheva Hart]

I just don't think that that's the way that I want to enter love personally.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay.

[Batsheva Hart]

I like a little bit more organic and I think that I liked my family show because it was with my family, but I don't think that I'd be able to do it with multiple people and people I don't know wouldn't feel comfortable to me.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay, that's fair.

[Batsheva Hart]

But I respect it.

[Jason Tardick]

All right, you respect it. You're not judging. Thank you.

[Batsheva Hart]

Appreciate it. Love that for you.

[Jason Tardick]

Thank you. What a rut. Heart to heart. That's your podcast, right? How's the podcast going? And from the business side, has it been, would you say like more successful than blogging versus social media? Harder. Like, what's your overall take as podcasting connects to the other forms of your social media businesses?

[Batsheva Hart]

I think the podcast I use as a place to give more like long form content. I felt when I went through my divorce that there was nothing out there for me. There was no information about it. People weren't really talking about it, especially as a 28 year old going through a divorce. You know, that was mostly like older women talking about their experience. So I wanted my podcast to be a place where I could talk about that help women even if they weren't going through a divorce, a long term relationship. A lot of people have their like college boyfriends and then they have this whole identity with them and then they break off and they're like, who am I?

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah.

[Batsheva Hart]

So I wanted that I would say it's not as regular. I more use it when I have something to say.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah.

[Batsheva Hart]

But I love, I love like the opportunity to be able to talk for 30 minutes and not feel like I have to fit everything into a minute.

[Jason Tardick]

The long form stuff makes sense with your one minute videos, what you're doing well, your social media is growing. You focus on fashion, you're focusing on single content. What's like, what's what? Give us, give us something, give us like a trading secret as it connects to either fashion or just the single life and the things that you've seen.

[Batsheva Hart]

I guess I'll go on more single life. I think self talk is really important and I think a lot of women are like men suck and dating sucks and I'm never gonna find someone. I get questions all the time, like are you nervous about finding your next person? And I think if you tell yourself that life is amazing, that men are wonderful, that you're gonna find that person and you tell yourself that enough, you're gonna believe it and you will.

[Jason Tardick]

Wow. So when you self talk, do you have a, do you have like a system for it? Do you do it like once a day? Do you write it down? Do you just like, just once I.

[Batsheva Hart]

Think I like intercept my thoughts. I think that's like what I've learned to do is like if I'm having a negative thought or something that I don't wanna associate with, like I am in control of my own brain. So I'll be like, no, I don't believe that. I don't know if I'm saying it out loud or if it's to myself, but I'm very like that with all of my friends. Whenever they're going through like a shitty time, I'm like, don't say that men are great. This person maybe sucks.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay, I like that.

[Batsheva Hart]

But I think just having a positive mindset about really anything in life that's gonna take you to be successful because you're the one who's living it. So if you say it's great, it's gonna be great.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay, I like that self talk. Intercept the bad thoughts, and then let's do one more. Someone who's newly single.

[David]

Yes.

[Jason Tardick]

You go on a date. What are things like? Definitely don't do. Definitely do.

[Batsheva Hart]

Ooh.

[Jason Tardick]

Trading secrets. Dating edition.

[Batsheva Hart]

Dating edition. I love this. When it comes to ghosting, if you've never met someone, then it's not considered ghosting if you don't respond to them. But if you have met them, don't ghost them. Send them a nice message saying you're not interested, and that's it. Because you wouldn't want someone to ghost you. So don't ghost them. I believe in karma, and I think every time that I've sent a text, like, it was so nice meeting you, I just feel like we're looking for different things. That's way nicer to the guy than just not responding to his message.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah, okay.

[Batsheva Hart]

And girl.

[Jason Tardick]

So don't ghost.

[Batsheva Hart]

I got ghost.

[Jason Tardick]

Set the expectation. Don't ghost.

[Batsheva Hart]

And if you're a guy, I think if you bid on three plus dates, if you don't want to see the girl anymore, you should let her know.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay, that's a good one.

[Batsheva Hart]

This is for the men.

[Jason Tardick]

All right. For the men, three plus dates. You don't want to see her anymore, let her know. Don't ghost. All right, let's. We got to wrap with the trading secret, though. So it's a trading secret specific to your journey, which has been a fascinating journey. It's wild to see how religion, love, money, and even professional pursuits have totally influenced your journey. And look where you've come and look where you were and the lessons you've learned. I think you need to write a book. Just saying. I would read it.

[Batsheva Hart]

It's. It's on there.

[Jason Tardick]

Okay. It should be hosting. And a book is what's next for you. And when you do those, you're gonna have to come back on. But what is one trading secret you can leave our listeners with? Aside from the all the dating tips.

[Batsheva Hart]

You just gave, I think that gratitude. Practicing gratitude. Every day at 10pm I have an alarm that goes off, and it says three gratitudes. And I say or write down three specific things from that day that I'm thankful for. I listened to this in a TED talk about finding happiness, and he said, if every day you write down three things you're thankful for that are specific to the day, your brain is going to be trained to constantly be looking for that thing to be grateful for at the end of the day.

[Jason Tardick]

Wow.

[Batsheva Hart]

So I do that, and that's made me Such a positive person because you realize that even if you're having a shitty day or something's going on, you're like, wait, But I'm thankful for all these other things that are going on in my life.

[Jason Tardick]

I like that. Yeah. A lot of self work within your journey. I'm sure that's been a big part of your process. Right?

[Batsheva Hart]

Lots of self work, growth, mindset. I'm a completely different version of myself than I was three years ago. And I'm very proud of that.

[Jason Tardick]

I was gonna say and as like, that's a beautiful thing. Right. I think the idea of being the same individual you were a year ago or two years ago to me is terrifying. Right. Life experiences, new journeys, developing your brain and your mental health, your physical health, all the things that should lead to growth, that should lead to change, and hopefully positive for everything that's coming. Great episode of Trading Secrets Batsheva. Where can everyone find everything you have going on your podcast? Social media, all the things.

[Batsheva Hart]

Yeah, everything on social is Achevaheart2A's H A A R T. And my podcast is Heart to Heart. You can find it anywhere. You can listen to podcasts.

[Jason Tardick]

All right, go check out the podcast, download it and thank you so much for being on Training Secrets.

[Batsheva Hart]

Thank you for having me.

[Jason Tardick]

Ding, ding, ding. We are closing in the bell to the Bat Sheva episode. I'll tell you what, the timing works out well. We just finished up Christmas and hanukkah started on December 25, so we are still in the Hanukkah season while recording this. So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy New Year. But this was a jam, and I mean jam packed episode. We talked about the dating nuances of orthodox religions. We talked about the rules, the different scripts breaking out of a community like that. We'll talk a little about in this, in this recap of something called entrenchment, which is something I've been studying in terms of psychology, all the different stuff, but as always, we got the one, the only, the curious Canadian to let us know where his curiosities are going in a very, very curious episode. Before I even kick it to you, David, shout out to Bacheva for being so honest. Like, I know she was obviously on her Netflix show, but like every question I asked, boom, she fired away. And that's what we love here on Trading Secrets. So, David, what are we thinking?

[David]

Yeah, I mean, bought shovel. What a guest. 28 minute episode, action packed. Like that's. You got two hours worth of info. Shoot, you guys were great. Direct to the points. And what a calming presence. I mean, her voice was very calming. It was just an overall great listen for our listeners. So I hope that they took that out of it as well. You, you mentioned at the start, Jay, we don't normally talk religion. And you touched on a couple points about the unorthodox or the Orthodox life. And I got a couple questions related to that while we're on topics, since we don't get onto that topic very often. And the first one is something that you brought up around Birthright. I think you were mentioning about your mom did Birthright or, or something of that nature when you were talking about Israel. What does that mean? Because that is a def. Definition and I haven't asked you a definition of something for a long time. What does birthright mean in the Jewish religion?

[Jason Tardick]

So birthright. Okay, let's walk through it a little bit. So Israel will offer this free 10 day and it's supposed to be around education, but it's also like kind of like a little bit of a vacation. But it's a 10 day educational trip and it's for Jewish young adults. So people then say like, well, who pays for it? And it's sponsored by donations. The Government of Israel, Jewish Communities and Federations, and the Jewish agency for Israel. And 40, I think it's like there's 40,000 donors in those donations that, that contribute to this. And you know, the. It's essentially, it's the world's largest educational tourism program out there. So the idea is young Jewish adults, we want them to come to our land to see what we're doing here and what it's like and learn all the different educational components in the Jewish religion. If you are the son or daughter of a mother who is Jewish, you are considered Jewish. So that is like the staple. So my mom is Dale Gross and she comes from the Gross family. Obviously her name's Dale Tardick now and she is Jewish. So my brother at a young age wrote to the board, this is my story. I'm questioning my religion. I grew up with a Catholic father. I want to see what this is all about. And he went and so he did the whole Birthright trip. And I got to go to Israel through my MBA program. So Israel is known for having unbelievable entrepreneurial venture capital and tech startups. Like when we talk about the Iron Dome, which was really cool, we got to go visit the Iron Dome. And for anyone, I think everyone at this point knows what the Iron Dome is. But when people launch missiles into Israel, the Iron Dome is a technology that will use GPS coordinates to see the missile and then detonate it before it can land. And it's actually technology that the US adopted from Israel. And so that's just a small example of their advancement. So with our MBA program, we went out there and it was amazing to see what these people are drumming up and the different venture and everything. Like Waze. If anybody uses the Waze app, that's another one. There's a laundry list and many others. So that's why I went out there. That's a little bit about the birthright. Does that answer all your questions and kind of the birthright deal, is there.

[David]

A time cap on it? Like, do you have to do it within a certain age or, or what, what. How old was Stephen when he went? Obviously you were in your NBA year, so you're probably in that 22, 23 year old age range. Do you, do you know, you know, if there's a, if there's a time cap off that if people are listening, they want to take advantage of it?

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah, I mean, my, my understanding is to be eligible and someone can correct me if I'm wrong here, but my understanding is to be eligible, at least when my brother did it, is that you have to be in between 18 to 26.

[David]

Okay.

[Jason Tardick]

So it's fair. And I heard that like, like, yeah, but I also heard that they're considering changing that up to like an. Expanding that up to 32 for trips in 2024 and 2025. But when my brother did it was 18 to 26.

[David]

All right, last question on this. When he goes, is he going solo? Is he going with your mom? Is he. When he flies there, is he being put up in a play? Is it like a, do they take care of you and put you on this? Like, like you said, like almost like a education program, a, A camp, something like that.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah, I mean, they, they. Everything's taken care of and the trip is only for the per, like the young adult that's going. So they wouldn't sponsor pay for anybody else. I think my mom or dad probably could have gone, but everything would have had to be paid out of pocket for them. But I think part of the process is like you're going with young Jewish adults and you're, you're, you're like meeting them from all over the world. And to, you know, I remember the application process is you have to have at least one parent who's Jewish and then, or you could, you have, you have to have converted to Judaism. So okay, yeah, it's interesting. It's different. It's. My brother did it and yeah. Speaks very highly of it. And as someone who's been to Israel, I can tell you it's a beautiful, beautiful country. Like, I mean, it is just. It's absolutely, it's gorgeous. So, yeah, like, Tel Aviv, you know, you don't know what to expect. Like, you, I think when, when you live in a certain area and you do certain things, you think of one place and like, you just have your instant image of what you expect. Respect. Tel Aviv is like straight up Miami. Like palm trees, beautiful ocean, sand, big buildings, restaurants. Like, it's sick. It's not, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It reminds me of Miami, so, like to give. Give everyone just an idea. But yeah, that was a little bit about that.

[David]

Yeah, that's great context, because I didn't. I don't think Miami when I think Israel. So that was, that was good. That's a good. You painted a nice picture there. One thing about Bashava that I did love is, is her, her, her. How, like you said, how honest she was about her experience in her religion. You, you know, you did say that. You obviously, your mom is Jewish. She said that she obviously is not religious now. She's very open about that. But I did love how she was able to say how much she still respects the Bible. She respects people choices. She respects religion. She wasn't, you know, confrontational about that. And I loved how she still took. Was able to have the, you know, the self talk, as we'll get into later, that she does to take something out of her religious experience and adapted through everyday life. She still celebrates her version of Shiva by not posting on social media, not working from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. Is there anything that you have taken from your mom or your religious experience that you still adopt in your life or, or are you practicing, you know, do you practice Judaism in any way?

[Jason Tardick]

You know, we. I think the probably the biggest thing that I've taken from having a, you know, a Catholic father and a Jewish mother, it is just the willingness to understand that people can coexist in this world, have different beliefs, understand each other's beliefs, hear them, and still believe in them in independent ways with respect. I think that's the biggest thing. You know, I don't think, you know, if you had asked my grandparents and great grandparents on my mom's side back when, before they got to really know my father, it's not they didn't want my mom to marry Catholic Lebanese guy, you know. But in the world we live in, it's just, it's. That's probably the biggest thing I took away. I think obviously having a gay brother too. Some of the contradictions I've, I've seen in, in structured religion has, has been, is like kind of icked me a little bit. But I think the idea of having respect for religion and what people believe in, in the foundation of like right versus wrong and accountability and doing good by others and a lot of the like, structural things are, are beautiful. Like, I think that that's, that's beautiful. And I think some people more than others for their purpose and their identity and their sanity and their health, mentally and physical, rely on it in other ways, in deeper ways than others do. But I think the overarching theme here is just. I have respect for, for what it is. What's crazy to me though, and then now we're going down, we're really getting down the rabbit hole here. But what's wild to me is how like the over the overarching theme of, of religion is to believe right and to serve and to do right by what you believe in. And it's crazy how much bloodshed in this entire planet has stemmed from differences in religious beliefs, which to me it feels like very counterproductive.

[David]

Yes. And, and like you said, we could go down the rabbit hole. I think the one thing that you said is like the, the power of believing is such a strong thing that I think a lot of people need. She said that she understands religion makes people comfortable, it gives them guidelines and structures. Was just kind of like a foundation to hold on to, which I think is important. But like you said, I think every religion. I grew up Catholic, you know, you've seen both sides of it. There's obviously many other religions out there that we're not well versed in, but I think we can all point to contradictories in every religion if we're really critical thinking or reflecting on all those things. One thing from this episode and we'll get into a little, maybe more of the juicy stuff of the dating and the relationship aspects too that she was hilarious and open about as well was the contradictory of, of of dating. I think growing up, she said that, you know, she went to an all girl school. You cannot talk to boys until you're ready to have conversations with them when you're ready to date for marriage. And the contradictory lies to me where she did that, she did that. She had a Conversation with the person that she ended up marrying, but they had to hide it because they were too young. So here you have a religious idea of, you know, save yourself date for marriage, but then you're using a modern day calendar to dictate the timelines in which you're allowed to do so. Which seems a little, a little interesting, a little like fabricated, a little like, you know, what is a calendar in terms of depiction of when people are ready to do that, if they're, they're following through and doing the things that the religion is saying, which is talk to this person if you want to get married. Oh, yeah, you did get married, but you're still doing it too early. So I just thought that that was a contradictory when it comes to the religion and the, in the experiences that she shared with us.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah, I mean, this is the. That like, is just, in my opinion, asinine. Like, like, let's just like in a politely polite manner say extremely outdated and ridiculous. Like, and doesn't make sense that she could. Yeah. Oh, she could. Okay, so there. Okay, I'll keep it a little lower level.

[David]

Deep dive, deep breath, deep breath.

[Jason Tardick]

Like the fact she couldn't go to school, the fact she couldn't date unless it was only for marriage. Like some of these rules seem like it's straight up protection for the parents, not for the kid. Like, this isn't, this is crazy.

[David]

Also a level of control, right?

[Jason Tardick]

Extreme level of control and manipulation.

[David]

Because like she said at the very start, right? Like her life growing up was, she didn't know any, she wasn't exposed anything. So she didn't think anything was different. Anything was. So these rules that she followed, these timelines that she was inheriting, like that is normal life. And so, you know, control is good when you have hierarchies of things where you need people to follow. And like you said, you know, your grandparents probably didn't want your mom to date and marry a Catholic guy because that's, you know, what, what she was brought into because of the, the rules and the guidelines. And I still have friends. I'm sure you do that, you know, have, you know, one, one person who grew up Jewish and married a Catholic person. And it's still a thing, right? So it's just interesting.

[Jason Tardick]

It is. And it's every, you know, this is, I think this just lies under the theory of Orthodox. This is not connected to like Orthodox Christianity and Orthodox Catholicism and Orthodox Judaism. Like, I don't, I don't think it's just, of course Judaism. I just Think it's. It's like some of these rules that apply to this. The dated, you know, just like, just see. Yes. It just seems ridiculous.

[David]

Like, it does.

[Jason Tardick]

Like, but, I mean, to each their own, I guess. But for me, when I hear this, I'm like, I find it to be controlling, to be manipulative, to be restrictive, and to be so, so ridiculous. And I'm so. When I hear her telling this story, I'm like, I am so proud that you broke out of this. And not only have you broke out of it, you're able to do new things and then speak to both things. Like, what an unbelievable, I guess, like, global perspective, right. Of seeing all different sides and.

[David]

And PSA for the people listening out there, this is just us having a very open conversation about this. We're not saying that everyone should break away from their religions. We're not saying that religions are all bad. We're not saying. If you follow this, we're just, you know, we have people on the podcast to share their experiences, and it makes us reflect on the things that they say. And I think that that's a beautiful thing as well, to see that she broke through it to the point. And her mom, like, she was great, but Sheva was great. I'd love to meet her mom. Her mom sounds like an absolute electric factory of. Of information and perspective and her mom's little advice place there after divorce and telling her to kind of get back on the wagon and her story. But she was like, can we talk about. She was like, can we talk about sex? In my head, I'm listening as one of the freaking. The recap guy being like, I don't. I was like, can we talk about sex? I don't know if anyone really has. And then you're like, yeah, absolutely. And then she let it rip. I thought that was just, you know, to see that she's open and honest and not shy about those things from her experiences of being so, you know, what she felt controlled and regulated, I thought was just awesome perspective and. And fun for her to share.

[Jason Tardick]

I think. One last thing I'll say on the topic we just wrapped up here is just the idea of everyone can coexist, right? Like, if she does believe or there are people out there that believe in some of these rules and they want to abide by them, I can still be. We can still be best of friends. My only thing is, let's just agree that you're not going to judge me for my behavior, and I won't judge you for years. Right. Like, I think if that's the way you want to do it and that's what makes you happy and that makes you a better person to contribute to society, great. I can think some of those things that you live by in my head, like, are just a little, you know, wild. But, like, I think the rule of thumb should be let everyone do their thing. Don't judge. Let's all coexist as long as we're, like, contributing to the. The betterment of society. But I think your story was, I mean, talk about a 180, right? You can't, you can't even hug a guy until whatever. And then, boom, I'm gonna go. Go have a night. And her honesty was incredible. Like, absolutely incredible. The story, the guy woke up and he's like, so how you do this all the time, huh? She's like, oh, if you only knew.

[David]

I just loved it because I was saying how her voice was so calming. It's like her tone across, like, talking about, like, leaving the orthodox life and like, hooking up with someone at Arbazo is like the same tone. It was like, just very like, yep, this is just reality. It's a matter of fact, like, these are my experiences. Like, I'm happy to talk about them.

[Jason Tardick]

She. She's really good at this. So if you guys don't follow her, go give her a follow. Because she's big into open discussions, like, unfiltered about dating. And I just saw her do a reel about Dude. It was a full power presentation of her dating in 2024. So she had a list of how many dates she went on, like, how many second dates she went on, like, where exactly they went. She. She had a list of how many FaceTime dates she did and how many of those FaceTime dates converted to real dates. Like, she had a whole analysis on her dating life and was extremely open to it. I don't know if she got into, like, the physical aspect, like, I kissed this many guys or this.

[David]

Right?

[Jason Tardick]

Or this. But, like, it was, it was, it was wild.

[David]

Do you find switching to the more of, like, the business side of it? Do you find that her strategy. Strategy for her podcast where she's like, I don't really have consistency. I just kind of use it as a place to, like, talk in long form and, like, want to hop on and talk about episodes? Like, do you think she's using. Do you a. Do you think she's using her podcast as a really, like a revenue generating or do you think she's really using it as just like a. A platform to connect with people. And do you think if she doesn't have consistent episodes, like, we haven't missed a Monday and, you know, 250 episodes, do you think that it's a. What do you think of a business strategy wise, if you are just kind of letting it rip on an inconsistent basis?

[Jason Tardick]

I think, listen, I don't want to, like, prescribe what you have to do and what you. What you don't have to do, but I do think if you're trying to have sustainability, you got to have consistency with podcasting. That's one. And I also think, like, you just. It's. It's any dude. I do this exercise all the time when I'm speaking. And I'll do it with you right now. Let's do it real quick. And if anyone's listening, I'm not. I'm not kidding. If there's any part of this episode that you should stay tuned in for, it's right now. This is invaluable. All right. I want you, David, to think about someone, like a household name or someone just that you're inspired by, that you love. You follow their stuff. You're just like, this is a person that I know really well, and I, like, think highly of. Who is that that most people would know?

[David]

Like, and it's just like a. Someone I follow in the world.

[Jason Tardick]

It could be anything. Could be Wing. Let's say Muhammad.

[David]

Let's say.

[Jason Tardick]

Let's say Taylor Swift. I don't know.

[David]

Let's say. Let's say. Let's say Dave Portnoy.

[Jason Tardick]

Dave Portnoy. Good. Yeah, that's. That's one. You've. You've always followed him. You kind of respect his thing. I want you, in three words, to tell me, how would you define Dave Portnoy's brand? If someone said, like, what's his brand? Tell me in three words.

[David]

I would say raw. I would say honest.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah.

[David]

And I would say. I would say. I want to say. I would say rare.

[Jason Tardick]

Rare. See, another thing is, I could tell on that third word is that there were so many things coming to you. You were just trying to be really good with it. Like, you're correct. Funny. You're thinking rare. You're thinking entrepreneur. I'm thinking business. Giving. Like, you had a million words there.

[David]

Okay, I'm thinking controversial.

[Jason Tardick]

Controversial steps in there. Okay, quick, quickly. Right now, David Ardoin. Right now, what are the three words that define your brand? Go.

[David]

Honest. Raw. Yeah, but I think it. And loyal. Loyal. Loyal. Maybe not rare. I don't, I don't think I'm that rare. But I do think my honesty and my rawness does make me rare. But I think I know. I don't know.

[Jason Tardick]

I'm out. Because you used two repeats seats. But typically what happens in these scenarios nine out of ten times is everyone fumbles. Like, so if I tell you, like, what's your rare. What's your, what are your three words as a hockey coach? What are your three words as a father? Okay, Words. Yeah, right. And so the biggest thing in this world that I have found that anybody that's achieved any form about outlying success is that instantly when someone thinks about that person, they can define their brand easily in three words. Like, you could have done 30 words for Portnoy. You came up with three, and those three were bang on and you did them instant. I find that most people don't know their brand in three words and they don't know their brand as a father or a boyfriend or a husband or a wife or a girlfriend or a teacher or whatever your profession is, or whatever it is. And the people that can't find their words in three words are the people that need to do it. And I find with podcasting, those who have achieved the greatest success in podcast have a quick brand that you really know in three words. And when someone says like, I just get on and shoot the. You could do it and you could be successful, it's just really hard for people to understand the brand. And as a, as a result of that, grow. And these are things, trust me, that I'm working on too. But yeah, that's, that's an exercise I think is really important.

[David]

That's a great exercise.

[Jason Tardick]

And it gets, it's going to give you something to think about, like, as a friend, like, and I'm gonna go about it, I guess. A friend. What are your three words as a coach? What are your three words? And under those three words, you can find like, even smaller segments to really find your niche. So, like one of my three words for, for content and social media and this podcast, right, Is of course finance under that is. Or finance or money under that is. There's this like, thing about me since day one, since I was like five years old, I've always just been interested in what things cost and what people make and like, how much that is and like what that is. Like, I've always been like that. I'm sitting here right now. I'm looking at my computer, I'm looking at my dad's Thing. I'm like, what do you pay for that? What? I just can't help it. So there's something that like differentiates you under one of those words. And then you'll find it. And then you could drill into that in one way to keep doing what you're doing. I'll pause.

[David]

I love it. I love it. Let's do a little. That's a little workshop activity that we could do with the all access group. Or if we ever do a live. You get someone on stage on a live podcast. Who knows? Because that was. The seat was getting a little hot there. I kind of liked it. He talked about the business, he talked about the finance. Obviously, you know, there's a lot of things that probably you were warmed your heart. You obviously. She talked about things about her divorce which you had related to in the. In the Talk Money to Me book. She talked about, you know, starting blogging. She started about social media that she started while she was in school. She said it would told her ex would take five years to make the career sustainable. She did in two or three years. I just have to say, I loved when you said, what. What is sustainable to you? She goes, I knew. And I could add avocado on my salad. And that reminded me of you. Yeah. For me, I always said when I could order this, the steak instead of the chicken, like that for me was my whole thing. Like when I could go get guac and not worry about it. Like when I could go to a restaurant and sit down and say I can get the steak instead of the chicken and not have to have stress on it for that 30 minutes or five hours or the next day. I just thought that that was super relatable. I hope it was relatable. So someone out there.

[Jason Tardick]

When you said. When she said it, I instantly thought of you. I'm like, that's literally David's thing. So it's perfect. But I thought, listen, great guest, really interesting. A whole different element in. In place we haven't covered. It kind of makes me want to start covering other things. Like I want to get someone that's like crazy into politics. I want to get someone that's like, like I want to just like go down of all industries and places. Because I. The whole time I was like, I don't even want to talk. I just want to hear everything. Like, tell me more, more and more.

[David]

And I just think on that note too, like, I have, I have never, you know, me, reality TV guy, I've never seen her show. I've really Never even heard of her show. So when I listened to this, I was totally listening it at face value. Someone who never, who knew nothing about her brand. I still to this moment don't even know what she looks like. I should probably look that up and follow her on social media. Shout out, basheva, she's very pretty. Yeah. So that for.

[Jason Tardick]

She's got, like, good, like, you heard her energy, like, great energy. She's great.

[David]

So for this just to, like you said, to hear such a different perspective of something that we hadn't talked about. I have more notes from this episode and it was only 28 minutes than I do from a normal episode of someone that I know. Like you said that I am very well versed in that I feel like I know a lot about. So I loved it. I hope the viewer, I hope the listeners loved it. And I'm ready for more of these in 2025.

[Jason Tardick]

I love it, but let's go. Well, a little shout out here to the Gross family. You know, that's my mom's side. And then her mother's side is the Ivers family. And then her sister's side is now the Baruch Mins. So that is my Jewish heritage. Proud and yeah, fascinating to grow up in a, in a family like this. And then also I also put out there. It was a young age, obviously, I was a baby, but I was baptized. And then at third grade, I was actually confirmed. So, you know, at that level, you'd, you know, you don't know what you're doing or how you're doing it. But hey, like, you know, we get it.

[David]

I was baptized. I had first communion. I went all the way through confirmation. So I went through that process. And I didn't end up getting married in a Catholic church. Doesn't mean I don't believe. Doesn't mean that I don't have faith. But that's just the way that my life went as adult. And I think that that's, to me, that's okay. Right. And hopefully I don't get people coming after me for that.

[Jason Tardick]

I like that. Hopefully no one gets anybody coming after them after this episode. But hey, when you step into something like religion, it just might do that. And I'll tell you what, that, my friend, is a great way to end what was a very spicy, wild, high, low, left, right, curve balls. I mean, you like, I'm going to go. You know what? I'm going to just say this craziest year of my life was 2024. And that's how we're ending it. David, I. I'm bringing up a new topic now. I know we're going late.

[David]

No.

[Jason Tardick]

What are you thinking?

[David]

Okay, so the last thing I got for this, this whole episode when she talked about the dating and the. And her, her life post was have you seen the show on Netflix? Nobody wants this.

[Jason Tardick]

Yes.

[David]

Oh. So the whole time she's talking about this, I'm thinking about that. I'm thinking about that TV show, if you haven't gone. It is a great, great watch. Each episode's like 25 minutes. It's got a great cast, it is hilarious and it kind of puts this into perspective a little bit. Go watch it. 10 out of 10, five stars.

[Jason Tardick]

Yeah. And I think, you know, one thing I'll tell you, it's kind of connects to my intro on this is just this idea of entrenchment, right? It's the state of a stability in a person's domain or expert knowledge. And it can be associated with a person's unwillingness to consider new information or adapt to new situations. And part of that psychology is this idea of, of our higher beings, our parents, grandparents, whatever it might be, instilling control on us in, in all different areas. And then it's a copy and paste, right? Like a very good example of this would be someone who grows up in. Let's just say there's one political party that the parents are very involved in and adamant about. And then the son or daughter of that family just copies and pastes exactly what they say. And so they're entrenched within. You know, they're not able to take new information or outside noise to that. They are stuck within those surroundings. And that's something like if I didn't even explain it perfectly because I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm sorry, but that's my understanding as I'm doing some research on it. So it's interesting because that connects very much to this whole control and this conversation, this episode.

[David]

You could tell it was short, it was sweet. It kept us wanting more. And that's why we have the longest recap of 2024, probably for the last recap of 2024. So awesome job and awesome episode.

[Jason Tardick]

Let's lock up this year. I hope everyone had a great 2024. And if it was a struggle, 2024, the best part about struggles is, you know, struggle creates growth. So that means it could be a big breakout year in 2025. One thing we are thinking about doing. Let us know in the comments. I some stuff to give away if you're still with me, put in your Instagram handle in the. In the feedback on Apple or Spotify. But we are considering doing three episodes a week. No recap. And then doing one big episode with just David and I and maybe even a special guest to come on where we're just chopping it up. We're recapping the episodes for that month. We're talking about what's happening with current news. We're talking about what's happening in our lives. Like all the things. So a three plus one or three guests a month and then one with just David and I and possibly someone. It could be a family member, could be a friend, could be someone that's connected to what we want to talk about. You guys let us know. That's what we're thinking. But happy New Year. And David, anything before you sign out?

[David]

Nope. Love it. Great. Looking forward to 2025.

[Jason Tardick]

Hopefully this was another episode of Training Secrets. You couldn't afford the business. Living that dream. Hello, it is Ryan and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino's home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[David]

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[Jason Tardick]

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