Podcast Summary: Trading Secrets Episode 216 – ThatFoodieTherapist with Ashley Gersh
Podcast Information
- Title: Trading Secrets
- Host: Jason Tartick, Audioboom Studios
- Episode: 216: ThatFoodieTherapist: Ashley Gersh dives into the business of therapy, the psychology behind breakups and ambiguous loss, and love & money being the two factors of life
- Guest: Ashley Gersh, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Content Creator (That Foodie Therapist)
- Release Date: January 6, 2025
1. Introduction and Guest Overview
Jason Tartick introduces the episode by highlighting his guest, Ashley Gersh, known as "That Foodie Therapist." Ashley uniquely blends therapy with culinary experiences, providing mental health tips while cooking or dining out. Jason shares his excitement about the episode, emphasizing that listeners will gain insights into the therapy industry, selecting the right therapist, and understanding personal experiences with therapy.
[00:00] Jason Tartick: “This episode, I'm sitting in the hot seat and I feel like I have a recorded therapy session here... you'll learn all from Ashley on all things therapy.”
2. The Psychology of Breakups
Breakups are a central theme, delving into why they are emotionally devastating.
Ashley Gersh explains that breakups are a form of ambiguous loss, where one grieves not only the person lost but also the future envisioned with them.
[06:05] Ashley Gersh: “We experience ambiguous loss in breakups, divorce, estrangement from family... grieving the life you had imagined you would have with this person.”
Jason shares his personal struggle with feeling paralyzed during breakups, contrasting it with friends who thrive professionally by using work as a distraction.
3. Understanding Grief and Pain
Ashley discusses how emotional pain from breakups activates the same brain regions as physical pain.
[07:12] Ashley Gersh: “Emotional pain is felt in our brains the same way that we experience physical pain.”
This revelation underscores the intense impact breakups have on mental well-being.
4. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Jason contrasts his own healthy distractions, like work and exercise, with unhealthy coping strategies such as substance abuse.
[09:25] Jason Tartick: “Sometimes I think I numb through work... but it's not healthy.”
Ashley emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and adaptive coping skills to manage grief without causing harm.
[09:28] Ashley Gersh: “Adaptive coping skills would be things that are healthy for you... unhealthy coping skills are harming you.”
5. Building Emotional Resilience
Ashley introduces the "coat closet" analogy to illustrate building emotional resilience. Expanding this "closet" means increasing one's capacity to tolerate and manage grief and pain.
[11:37] Ashley Gersh: “Life is about building that closet so that it's a bigger closet... you can walk in and out and still get the clothes that you need.”
Jason appreciates the analogy, reflecting on how proper grieving leads to personal growth.
6. Attachment Styles and Their Impact
The conversation shifts to attachment theory, explaining how early relationships with caregivers influence adult romantic relationships.
[22:44] Ashley Gersh: “By the time you're 18 months old, you have a certain attachment to your caregivers... which influences your choices with partners.”
Jason relates this to his experiences, noting how losing attachment affects his confidence.
[16:37] Jason Tartick: “If you're not chosen, then you have to understand that... losing confidence is a very normal thing to go through.”
7. The Role of Money in Relationships
Ashley ties in the importance of money and love as fundamental life factors, echoing her mentor’s view.
[21:42] Ashley Gersh: “Love and money in these two ways are the two things you need in order to live a healthy and sustained life.”
Discussion Points:
-
Power Imbalance: Money can create a hierarchy in relationships, impacting self-worth and communication.
[24:56] Ashley Gersh: “People tying their sense of self-worth in regards to the money that they make or don't make and that impacting the relationship dynamic.”
-
Attachment to Money: How individuals' relationships with money, shaped by upbringing, affect their partnerships.
[26:22] Ashley Gersh: “The way that your family managed money, talked about money... impacts your relationship with your partner.”
8. The Business of Therapy
A critical discussion on the cost and accessibility of therapy ensues.
Jason shares his therapy costs, noting the variation across different cities.
[39:23] Jason Tartick: “When I go therapy, it's 150 bucks for 60 minutes, $225 for 90 minutes...”
Ashley explains the complexities of the therapy business, particularly the challenges posed by insurance systems that often don’t compensate therapists adequately.
[39:28] Ashley Gersh: “The business of therapy is so complicated because of healthcare... insurance co-pays do not suffice for what they would have to do to live.”
Key Insights:
-
Private Pay vs. Insurance: Many therapists operate on a private pay basis due to insufficient insurance reimbursements.
[40:02] Jason Tartick: “Every therapist I've ever worked with is private pay...”
-
Burnout Risks: Therapists relying on insurance may face higher caseloads, increasing burnout rates.
[40:10] Ashley Gersh: “People who are taking insurance are probably more burnt out because they're having to see a higher amount of people.”
9. Personal Experiences and Advice
Ashley’s Trading Secrets:
-
Finding the Right Therapist: Comparable to dating; it may take multiple attempts to find a compatible therapist.
[43:46] Ashley Gersh: “Finding the right therapist is like dating... sometimes it'll take a few thoughtful tries.”
-
Commitment to Therapy: Understanding that therapy is a long-term investment requiring time and patience.
[43:50] Ashley Gersh: “Don’t fall trapped to the flight to health... it takes years to peel back the layers.”
Jason’s Reflections:
-
Personal Growth through Therapy: Jason shares his journey of therapy, emphasizing its value in personal and professional life.
[42:16] Jason Tartick: “I could keep going in a million different directions. It's interesting to talk about the mental health side...”
-
Therapist Selection and Commitment: Stressing the importance of following a therapist’s guidance and recognizing the value of consistent therapy.
[56:37] Jason Tartick: “A good therapist is gonna know what type of mode you're in...”
10. Closing Remarks and Final Insights
The episode concludes with a vibrant exchange between Jason and his co-host David Ardoin, reflecting on the depth of the discussion and personal anecdotes about therapy.
[49:39] David Ardoin: “This was deep. It was almost like flying the wall in a therapy session for you.”
Final Takeaways:
-
Integrative Approach: Emphasizing that personal, professional, and financial aspects of life are interconnected.
[43:03] Jason Tartick: “I learned there is no such thing as professional, financial, and personal silos. They all coexist as one.”
-
Self-Awareness and Growth: Encouraging listeners to be introspective and seek professional help to navigate personal challenges.
[48:18] Ashley Gersh: “They can go to my website if they're seeking help for therapy...”
Notable Quotes:
-
”Life is about increasing your tolerance and your ability to sit with the discomfort.”
Ashley Gersh – [11:37] -
”Finding the right therapist is like dating... sometimes it'll take a few thoughtful tries.”
Ashley Gersh – [43:46] -
”You have to let yourself feel it, know it’s okay to not feel okay.”
Jason Tartick – [48:46]
11. Where to Find Ashley Gersh
Ashley Gersh can be reached through her website and social media platforms for therapy services and mental health content:
- Website: www.actionashley.com
- Social Media: TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram under @thatfoodietherapist
[48:30] Ashley Gersh: “Find me on TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram at that foodie therapist...”
Conclusion
Episode 216 of Trading Secrets offers a profound exploration of the emotional and financial intricacies of relationships and the therapy industry. Through insightful dialogue with Ashley Gersh, listeners gain a deeper understanding of managing grief, the interplay between love and money, and the challenges within the therapeutic business model. The episode underscores the importance of self-awareness, healthy coping mechanisms, and the value of investing in mental health for overall life success.