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Cope Like Christ // Triggered (Part 8) // Pastor Brie Davis
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WEEK 8: TRIGGERED // COPE LIKE CHRIST // PASTOR BRIE DAVIS At the root of every crash out is a coping mechanism we created to survive. And when we are triggered, it isn’t random, it’s an invitation from God to reveal where He wants to transform us....
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So you might as well start digging out the long johns because saving over $200 on a week long snowcation rental is in the cards book now@vrbo.com welcome to Transformation Church podcast where we represent God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ. We're so glad you're here and wherever you're listening from, we believe God will transform your life through today's message. This is week eight of a sermon series that we're calling Trigger. Pastor Mike started this sermon series a couple months and I remember when we were talking about this series before it started, we were talking about what God wanted to do through this series and specifically using the term triggered because that is one of our kind of buzz words for right now. There are many different people who talk about how triggered they are in today's time. And this is not a word that was used ages ago or years ago in the manner in which we use it now. Now when we talk about it, we're talking about some type of emotional distort disturbance that takes place in our life. That's what a trigger is. And when we started the first week of this sermon series, Pastor Mike asked, he said, you know, what are your triggers? And there were people in the room that unashamedly yelled out the triggers that they have in their life. Some people talked about dirty dishes being a trigger. Anybody out there, dirty dishes a trigger? Okay. I feel like it's a lot of mamas who said yes to that. So all the kids need to button it up. Come on people, get it together. Some people said that bad drivers was a trigger. Anybody? Bad drivers. Okay. So I thought to Myself. I think today what we're gonna do is we're gonna start with. I'm just gonna level the playing field and tell you some of my own triggers today, okay? I have a list. So here we go. Some of my triggers are. First one is lazy people. And I know somebody feels me on this one, okay? Lazy people. It's like, can you get up and do something? Can you help, please? Okay, Lazy person. Another one of my triggers I have, and this one will send me immediately an unexpected bill. An unexpected bill. I don't care if the bill is $7.16. Don't send me nothing unless you called me beforehand and told me that bill was on the way. Okay? A good trigger for me is an unexpected bill. Ask my husband. I'll flip out every time. Okay? Someone making me late to something. Now, listen, there's a caveat to this, okay? Cause I didn't say me being late. That's not the trigger. Cause I am often late on my own accord. But if someone else. Hello, somebody. If somebody else makes me late, that's the trigger right there. Now, if I'm gonna be late, let it be my fault while I'm late. I don't want to be late because you made me late, okay? I have more hold on mean or rude people. Y' all feel me on that one? I'm gonna take it up one more notch, though, especially when those people are church people. Yuck. I can't stand it. Can't stand it. I can't stand it. I cannot stand how you gonna love the Lord but not love. People like that don't even make sense. That is a trigger. Y' all feel me on that one? Okay. All right. Okay. Okay, schemers. I won't go no further. Bad hair days. Y' all see how much hair I got on top of this head? Sometimes I wake up and it look like who done it? In what flow? Every curl going, which way but the right way. I'm like, God, help me today. Okay? Bad hair days. And then my last and final one that I have. And this is specific to me, this may not be one for you, okay? But I cannot stand stinky trash in my home, specifically. If I smell trash, it's like, something got to be done. We got to throw away the whole entire house at this point. I thought them trash cans was supposed to. Those trash bags were supposed to smell good. Why that stink like that? What is in there? Something dead up in there. You know, you be thinking something is something dead. It's not like something died up in here. We need to get something going up in here. So these are just some of my triggers, y'. All. Oh, I had another one. Hold on. Spiritual bypassing. Okay, I wanna kinda talk about this one a little bit today. Spiritual bypassing is when we use scripture or spiritual practices or even God to bypass reality. When we use God's word to actually avoid something that is real, that needs to be dealt with, instead of doing that, we use scripture, slap a scripture on it, and act like it's not a thing at all. Spiritual bypassing is when God is actually trying to do some work of transformation in our lives. But because we don't want to do the hard work that often takes a lot of sacrifice to. To transform in our lives, instead we'll act like, oh, his grace is sufficient. He also wants you to change doing that. Spiritual bypassing is one of those things. If you know a little bit about me and Aaron, my husband, the love of my life, the lover of my life. I love you, husband, y'. All. Give it up for my husband, Aaron. He hates that. If you know anything about our story, you know that over the last year, we went through significant tragedy. We lost our son last year. And in that whole situation, we have learned so much about God and about grief and about how we actually include God in our reality versus acting like our reality is not a real thing. And even though for me, grief has been such a difficult process, because I. I don't like that. Grief is unpredictable. And so you never know what days you're gonna feel low or what days you may feel sad, or what days I'm gonna miss my son. And all of that has really been difficult. So much so that one of the things I want to do is spiritually bypass it. One of the things I want to do is move past it. Like it's not actually as hurtful and painful as it actually is. And I remember one time I was talking to a friend of mine, and she was asking me how I was doing, and I said, you know, sad, mad, all the things that I was feeling at the time, I said, but also at the same time, God has really just blessed us with such a wonderful life, such a great community, all the beautiful things, which is well and true. And she said to me, she said, I love that for you. I'm so happy that you feel that way. And at the same time, I want you to know, when you go through tragedy like that, when you go through something hard like that, I don't think that it might be the best mood, the best thing for you to say to your nervous system, but look at all the blessings we have. Because essentially what you're doing is telling your own body, let's ignore the pain and pretend like it's not there. And shouldn't you be grateful for the life that you have? Shouldn't you be. You should only see the stars and the flowers and the things that are taking place in your life that are blessings. And if you focus on that, maybe you'll get over the pain that you've been through today. I want to talk to you a little bit about this because this is the thing that I think trips us up as believers. It's a lack of self awareness. Knowing where we actually are, not where we are pretending to be. There's nothing wrong with being aware of your blessings and there's nothing wrong with gratitude has saved my life many days over this past year. So there's absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. At the same time, can we be believers that deal with reality, that know that our God is big enough to be in the real day to day with us and. And still help us move through it? And so today I wanna talk to you a little bit about that because one of the things that I have learned, especially as we've been walking through this series, is we've been talking about triggers. And triggers are what Pastor Mike gave us a definition. He said triggers are the things that set you off. In other words, they create some type of emotional disturbance. And not only is trigger a thing that causes emotional disturbance, it's also a place where maybe the Lord is inviting you and I into transformation, that this emotional disturbance is there for a reason. Now, in order to say that you have a trigger, you have to know it's attached to your emotions, that there is some emotional disturbance that's going on inside of you. A lot of people, a trigger feels like anger. Another person, it can feel like sadness. Another person, it can feel like embarrassment. There's so many different emotions that go along with triggers. But if we open our eyes to see the greater reality that God has us in this kingdom of heaven that we actually live in today, this trigger is not only a place of emotional disturbance, it's also an invitation from God for transformation in our lives. So today I want to talk to you about some things. And I want to be honest, today may feel a little bit like group therapy. Okay. I am not a therapist. And at the same time, I'm gonna be using some language that sounds like maybe you send in therapy. So I don't Know when's the last time you had your therapy appointment? Look at your neighbor and say, when's the last time? Nevermind, don't ask him that. Just kidding, just kidding. I'm just kidding. But today we're gonna talk through a little some things and I want to call today's sermon Cope Like Christ. Cope Like Christ. Let me tell you why that's the title of today's sermon. When we have a crash out, which our definition right now, crash out is where we get to when we have unaddressed triggers, things that have caused an emotional disturbance. And now I'm crashing out because I haven't actually addressed the triggers in my life that I need to the things that have caused emotional disturbance. When we have a crash out, a crash out is just a coping mechanism. That's it. A crash out is just a coping mechanism. Now a coping mechanism is a strategy or something we put in place in order to find relief in our life. Usually if we have a trigger of some kind, it has riled up some type of emotion on the inside of us. It's caused us some type of emotional overwhelm which when we get to that emotional overwhelm, then we turn into a crash out. Then we crash out. But the only reason we crash out is because we're actually trying to cope with this disturbance or this overwhelm that we have had emotionally and we don't know how to do it in a healthy way. Coping mechanisms are neutral. They can be healthy or unhealthy. There are ways that you can cope with stress in life that's unhealthy and not helpful for you or anybody around you. And, and there are ways that you can cope with stresses in life that actually are very healthy and can lunge you forward into your future, into your God given destiny. And so today I want to talk about how do we cope like Christ? And today is going to take, we're going to do a little digging into our own selves and becoming a little bit more self aware about us so that we can see how, how do I cope now? And is it like the way that Christ would cope? So what I want you to do is turn in your bibles to Matthew 11.
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Matthew 11:28 30 this is the actual scripture passage that we started the sermon series with. Also, Jesus is talking here in Matthew 11 and it says, come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest or relief. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest or relief for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is. Is light. What Jesus is saying in this scripture is, I have another way for you to live. I have a new way for you to live that is not based off of your culture, based off your family, based off of your ethnicity, based off of your gender, based off of what the world is telling you how to live. I have a brand new way for you to live. And in this way that you are living now, it's heavy and it's burdened down and it may actually be too much for you to bear. But the way that I want you to live is in a life of lightness and ease and a place of relief. Our coping mechanisms is only us trying to find some relief. So today my question for you is going to be, do you wanna live differently? Do you wanna live in an easy yoke and a light burden? Do you wanna live in a place of constant relief in a healthy way that doesn't damage you, your soul, or the people around you? Because every single one of us born into this world, because of the families we grew up in, the neighborhoods we grew up in, the culture that we live in, because of what society tells us, every single one of us have adopted some type of unhealthy coping mechanism, some type of way that we cope with emotional disturbance and stress in our life. That is actually not the way that Christ has asked us to cope. And so today, as we are going through some of the things I want to talk about today, the question is, do you want to live differently? Don't you think the way that we decided to live without Christ in the middle of that, that that is just too heavy for us. The stress that we feel, the worry, the anxiety that we feel, the depression that we feel, the anger that we feel, it's all really too much because it's not the way that Christ wants us to cope. So I'm gonna walk us through four different things today. And these are what I'm calling crash out coping. These are the ways that we crash out and we try to cope with the stresses of life and the emotional disturbances that we have in this. I want you to. Now, as I'm going through these things, you gonna see somebody else. Maybe your husband, your wife, your kids, your mama, your daddy, you gonna see somebody else as we're going through these things. But listen, this is what I'm asking you to do today. Keep your eye on the spare rail, okay? Look at only you today. Today is about self awareness, okay? Today is about self awareness. So these are four things and I wanna give you kind of a, a little setup for them. So they're going to put a chart on the screen. You'll see a couple different things here. The first thing is Pastor Mike told us this. He said sometimes when we crash out, we crash out internally, and other times we crash out externally. Now usually when somebody says they're crashing out or other people know that someone's crashing out, it's because it's external. But there are ways that we internally crash out too. So some of these ways that we crash out, you're going to see we, we feel them on the inside. Even if you can't see them on the outside, you feel them on the inside. Other ones you're gonna see that you can see these on the outside. And then another thing that I want you to remember as we're going through these is some of these crash outs is just you and you alone. Other ones you have to have other people involved in. So some people crash out on other people, some people crash out in themselves. Okay? So the question is, can you find yourself today? What I'm going to do is I'm going through these four things. And this is an acronym for cope, C, O, P, E. Okay? Just try to make it so that you can remember it when you leave out of this place. So the first thing is how we crash out. Cope. First person usually crashes out, cope by conflict. This is a person that when they are triggered and they have too many triggers that are piling up and, and they crash out, they crash out on the people around them and they find someone to battle. They battle other people. Let me give you an example of this. In the scripture, 1st Samuel 19. Saul here is the king of Israel. And he's the first person that God has called and asked to take on this type of role. So it was a prestigious role, obviously first time having the king of Israel. God chose and favored Saul. He wanted Saul, Saul to take on this role. And yet Saul was not secure in the role that God gave him. So when David, a young David came around, who would be the king eventually? But when David came around, Saul felt threatened. And so much so that when people were going around, they were saying, David killed his ten thousands, but Saul only killed his thousands. And Saul was like, uh, I can't take this. He was triggered and he crashed out. And when Saul crashed out, he decided to pick a fight with David. David wasn't against Saul at all. He wasn't studying that man like that. But Saul was completely offended by the fact that David was doing well. And because of that, he picked a fight with him. So these type of people, when they crash out, they find and pick fights. They find somebody that they're going to battle, somebody that they're going to go and start something with. Because in their mind, and the only way I can get relief, which is a coping mechanism, the only way I can get relief is through control, not through connection, through control. So these are the people who, when you are talking about a current issue, they may be the ones that bring up old issues. It's like, that's not what we talking about right now. But last year when I did the same thing, you got mad when I said, okay, that's a whole different situation that we're not talking about. These are the people that find anger safer than vulnerability. So this emotion of anger is a place that feels safe for them. So they go to this place whenever they feel crash, like they're about to crash out. When they're triggered enough, they'll go to anger. But if you know anything about the emotion anger, what you know is that motion anger is just a surface level emotion. Underneath any person that's dealing with anger, they're probably dealing with some hurt. They're probably dealing with some type of shame, some type of guilt, some type of something that is underneath that anger. Anger is just a surface level emotion, meaning that there's something underneath that that's actually impacting you. But for these people, because conflict seems like a safe place and anger feels like a safe place, they can't actually heal or deal with what's actually going on inside of them because they go to the surface level emotion instead of dealing with what's underneath it. Instead of just saying, I'm hurt by that, that really offended me the way that you, I felt belittled when you said that. Instead, these people are going to puff up, go into anger and cause some type of conflict. So these are the people that do that. They may even exaggerate details in order to just start a fight. So anytime in a fight or argument, and take this home with you, but take it gently, okay? And you go around saying, you always, you never, everybody, always. Those are called absolutes, and those are never, ever true. And I'm going to use absolute for that. Those are never true. Because you may say to your husband, you never take out the trash. Well, there had to be one time in 15 years that he took out the trash. I mean, come on now. When we exaggerate the details. Exaggerate the details in order to have a fight, that may mean that you run to conflict as a coping mechanism. Maybe you are the type of person who transfers guilt when somebody says, hey, I didn't like when you did that. And then you. You look back at them and say, oh, you perfect. You ain't never made a mistake before. Instead of taking ownership for what has actually taken place, these are the people who run to conflict as a coping mechanism. The worst part about this type of person is they usually pick on their safest people around them. So instead of dealing with the fact that you're triggered at work because you work a job that you know that God has called you to do more, but you haven't taken the time to actually step out in faith and do what God has asked you to do, you come home with those triggers from work, and your wife and your kids are the ones you pick a fight with. These are the people that, if you look at Saul's story, David was a safe place for Saul. David only wanted the best for Saul. He only wanted him to be able to be everything that God has called him to be. He was only helping. But because Saul was triggered by what people were saying, and he didn't actually deal with the fact that he was jealous of somebody else, he took it out on someone that was safer and even seemingly weaker. So this is the type of thing when we say coping mechanisms. These are our ways of finding relief. If you think about what Jesus says in Matthew 11, that I would give you a yoke that is easy and a burden that is light. This is the opposite of that. Although for some of us, it feels like our norm. Our norm is to run to conflict, to start some type of drama and as a way to deal with the triggers that we have in our life. So C is for conflict. O is very different than conflict. This one stands for oppression. These are the people that, in some type of way, they start their crash out internally, but eventually you see it Outside. Instead of avoiding their emotions, they sink into their emotions. And their emotions become the drivers in their life. And the heavy burden that they feel is because they focus all their attention on how they feel. There is a balance that is necessary when we are following God. Feel all the feelings, but don't let the feelings be the driver in your life. Don't let the feelings be the decision makers in your life. Let them inform the decisions that you make, but not be the ones who are making the decisions in your life. These people are the people that withdraw, that isolate, that eventually you see over time, less and less answering calls, less and less coming outside to hang. These people are the people that are going to go within their brains, in their emotions and in their thoughts, because that is the way that they cope with the triggers in their life.
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Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24,7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind. When it comes to their vet care.
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This is much different than the conflict. The conflict person's gonna come out guns blazing, they're gonna come out with their dukes up. Everybody need to have their boxing gloves on right now, okay? Cause conflict is coming to start something. Those that go into oppression sink back. And eventually you ain't heard from them in weeks. And when you ask them how they're doing, they're saying, okay, I'm good. But they're not actually dealing with what's going on on the inside of them. They're trying to detach. Because if they detach enough, it feels safe to them. This is what happened with Elijah that Pastor Will talked about last week. When Elijah was triggered, he went into sunk into his hole where he buried himself in his emotions. His emotions didn't just inform him they were his God. And sometimes our emotions can be our God. Elijah was triggered by what Jezebel said to her, said to him. And when he was triggered, he went to God and said, I'd rather die. Now, God had done all these wonderful exploits in Elijah's life, all these miracle signs and wonders, but all of that was scratched when he was triggered. So even though you may not think you see this on the outside, this is one you See on the outside, because this person becomes more and more invisible, quieter, withdrawn, isolated. And here's the thing. For each one of these coping mechanisms, someone taught us that this is how we survive. Someone taught us that this is how you find release in your life. Maybe growing up, the easiest thing to do when there was chaos at home was to shrink. The easiest thing to do was to go to your room, close the door and pretend like none of that is happening. The easiest thing to do is to detach from all of the healthy community that God has put around you, because this is how you have found relief. So C is for conflict, O is for oppression. P is for those of us that power through. These are the people that you're not going to sink. You may not even take it out on other people, but you now are over functioning because you are going to busy yourself instead of actually dealing with the emotions that you need to deal with the triggers and the emotional disturbance that you have going on in your life. Instead of doing that, you're going to power through pretending like none of it exists. And you're going to over function. You're going to busy yourself and you're going to do way more than God asks you to do, which is also called disobedience, because we see this with the story of Moses. Now, Moses had to lead a lot of people out of slavery into the promised land. And when he did this, this was a hard job for Moses as a leader. I mean, I would have been. He had to cut somebody out at some point because that was hard. That was a hard job. Okay? The people was complaining all the time. One of the times that they were complaining to Moses, they said, we don't have any water out here. We're thirsty. You should take us back to slavery. I would have said, go on back, go on back. Cause I'm sick of it out here trying to help you. Okay? Pray for me. They said to Moses, they said, moses, there's no water out here. What are we supposed to do? Moses goes to God, God says, God, I want you to take the stick in your hand, I want you to strike the rock one time and water's gonna come from it, okay? Moses goes and does that. It happens. The people are relieved, they're happy and all their complaints are gone. It happens again. Exact same thing happens again. And they come to Moses, take us back to slavery. We ain't got nothing to drink out here. I'll be like, drink your spit, doggone it. Sick of it again. Pray for me, okay? Moses goes to God. And he says, God, what am I supposed to do? These people are thirsty again. And God says, this time, don't do anything that's going to cause you to have to use your own strength. No striking the rock this time. This time I want you to go to the rock and speak to it and tell it to do what it needs to do. Moses says. Bet Moses goes back to the people. He's so triggered by the people that instead of doing what God told him to do, he does more than what God told him to do, because that's his way of crashing out. So what happens is Moses goes back to the rock. The first time he struck the rock once, God told him this time to speak to the rock. Well, he doesn't go back and strike. He goes and strikes the rock twice. This time using way more energy than he needed to use because all he had to do was speak to the rock. Water did come out of the rock still when he struck it twice. But God told him, you will not inherit the promised land because you disobeyed me. So for every person that fills up their schedule with unnecessary things, and every person that God did not tell you to help, every single person in your family, maybe that one person he called you to, but you decide that you're gonna play savior for everybody in your life. For every person that acts like you don't need a Sabbath and you don't need a day of rest. For every person that busies themselves as a coping mechanism. Because maybe if I'm needed somewhere, I won't feel all the feelings that I'm feeling on the inside. Maybe I won't be so emotionally disturbed if I fill in the gap for every person in my life. Could it be that that, although looks like a good thing, is disobedience. These are the people that power through. You would almost never even know that they're triggered because they're everywhere all the time. It's like they're omniscient. It's like, what are you, God himself? You, at every event, making sure everybody's celebrating your kids in every sport. Why every sport? I'm gonna tell you right now, they're not gonna make it to the NFL, the NBA and the soccer league, whatever it's called. I'm sorry, I'm black. I don't genuinely know what the. Okay, anyway, pray for me. I need yalls prayers. Okay. These are the people that busy themselves so they over function, they over help others. They never seem to really have a bad day because they don't go Low called emotional. These are just emotions that God has given us, but they don't allow themselves to sink there. These are people that will fight through everything to not cry. Which I want to say tears actually release toxicity in our life. And so I always say if you don't cry, you must be toxic because that's just biologically the way that God set us up. But anyways, these are people that are often disconnected from their own needs, physical needs that they had. So oftentimes they don't take a break until their body makes them take a break. They don't take a break until they have to take a break. And I know what that's like. I know what it's like to go through the day and think to myself, when did I eat? I didn't even eat today. These are the people that power through as a way of crashing out. And you may not even notice it because more than you see it on the outside, this person has to be aware enough to know what they're feeling on the inside. They have to know that this is my way of coping. That someone taught me somewhere, either by showing me or telling me that you being needed is what makes you significant. That your value only comes when you're able to answer every call and every text message and be there for every person in your life and show up at every event. And the truth is what you actually need, the healing for your soul. The rest that Jesus talks about in Matthew 11 is some stillness to be with your emotions and your God, to ask him what's going on on the inside of me, what am I running from? Because I'm running in my life, I'm running from something. The people that power through. Last one is E. And this is the people that externalize by this. I mean, they blame others for their triggers. Okay? Somebody felt that. Okay? And we praise God. Your trigger is just that, your trigger. And how you know this is true is that we all have different triggers based on the way that we. We see life in the way that we deem something as right or wrong. And everybody has a different way of measuring that, that we have our own triggers. So when we take a trigger and we blame somebody else, what we're doing is we're externalizing. And instead of dealing with the things that we need to deal with, we're asking somebody else to take on our work. Here's the thing about that. If somebody else is at fault for your trigger, then that means that they have to be the one to own your freedom. And I don't know about anybody else, but I don't want nobody else having to be the person that gives me my freedom. I want my freedom on my own. The only way that I'm going to get my freedom from myself is to know that the things, the woundings, the bondages, the triggers that I have are also mine too. So these are the people that may go around trying to figure out who it is that I need to blame as to why I am acting this way. But everything that we do, every temptation we fall into, the Bible says, comes from our own desires. There is no such thing as someone making you mad. You have to choose that. It's a quick decision, but you have to choose that. And if you expect externalize that, then that means that you don't get your freedom unless that person doesn't make you mad anymore. How about that person still does what they're doing, but then you don't find yourself as mad as you did before because God has transformed you. This is what happened in Genesis. After Adam ate the fruit of the tree that God said, do not eat from, he said, what are you doing? First thing Adam does, points a finger. She made me do it. Men. I'm just kidding. I love y'. All. And then when he points the finger to Eve, he said, God says something to Eve. And Eve says, the serpent made me do it. Nobody took ownership for their own actions and their own behavior. As people of God, we should be the most confessional community on earth. And you know why? Because we serve a God that no matter what we do, no matter what mistakes we make, no matter how many people we hurt, no matter how many issues we have, he still loves us unconditionally. So it should make us more confessional. It should make us tell on ourselves more. It should make us be more honest and take ownership of our stuff. Saul, when he was called into being king, it says that he hid in his baggage. How many of us do that every day, hiding in our own baggage? When freedom is promised to us.
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Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24,7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.
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So when it Comes to this, we can't say things like, I forgive them when they apologize. That's beneath the standard. That's not. When Jesus talks about a yoke that's easy and a burden that's light. In Matthew 11, he's saying, do you want another way to live? How about someone offends you and hurts you and you live so light and easy, you forgive them before they even realize what they did? What does that look like? It's a different way to live. So these are ways that we cope. Different ways that we go into situations that trigger us and we find conflict, or we sink into oppression, or maybe we power through or even externalize. But there is a different way to live. And this is what we love about God. He gives us a new way to live that doesn't require us to lean into our old ways. Here's what I want to say. When we become believers, we do become new creations in Christ, new creatures in Christ. Because now the righteousness of Christ is what God sees when he sees us. What Jesus did on the cross. And yet your soul has to walk through process of transformation. Because when we come into Christ, no matter how old you are, when you come into your relationship with Christ, you got some old ways, some old habits, some old ways of thinking, some old belief systems. And your belief system is what actually creates your thoughts, that create your behavior, that creates your habits, that creates your destiny. And so we have to, even in a relationship with God, submit our baggage, our issues, our triggers back to God and say, will you help me? Because I want to live a different way. And as long as we are on this earth, we'll be asking God, will you help me? Cause I want to live a different way. I know that I used to have those triggers, but doggone it, now I got these triggers. Will you help me? Because I want to live a way that is light and easy, as Jesus talks about. So I want to go through real quick things that Jesus did to cope. And specifically in one situation, which was a situation that Pastor Will talked about last week too, which is the Garden of Gethsemane, this is before Jesus is going to the cross to die for a bunch of people, some who love him and some who hate him. And he is going to the cross for us. And the thing about when you say you got triggers, my God, can you imagine what kind of triggers Jesus had, that this could cause an absolute crash out the things that he was about to do, which was to die for the sins of other people, none of which he committed. He was going to go die for those sins. Four things Jesus did in this story. And I'm going to kind of flip through the different gospels of how they share it. In Mark 14, 33, 34, it says that Jesus took Peter, James, and John with him, and they became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, my soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me. For first thing in Christlike coping is community. One of the best ways that we can cope is to have a healthy community around us that we can call on to say, hey, here's what I'm going through. Here's what I'm feeling, girl, I'm about to crash out. I need your help. And I'm not talking about the community that be like, come on, let's go slash tires together. Okay, that feels good. I will say. I had a friend say that to me once. I thought, maybe it feels good. But it's not Christlike coping. I'm talking about a healthy community that's gonna help you see that Christ is the way to go. What happens in this story is so beautiful because Jesus shows us that he invited his community into this situation, and they didn't even hold him up the way he needed to be held up, but he still invited community in. And not only did he invite them in, he didn't just leave them outside and not tell them what was going on. He said, my soul is crushed to the point of death. He was vulnerable with his community. If you're going to cope in a healthy, Christlike way, you have to have community. Jesus showed us going further into that scripture, what our O stands for, and that is obey. In Mark 14:36, Jesus says, Abba, Father, he cried out, everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet. I want your will to be done, not mine. I think we underestimate the power of obeying God in the midst of being triggered that oftentimes we use our triggers as an excuse as to why we disobey God. Because God knows I'm triggered. Yes, he does. And he created a way of escape for every temptation. Everything that you want to get out of, you can get out of. Every emotion that you want to deal with in a healthy way. You can deal with in a healthy way is called obedience. This is when we sacrifice. This is when God says to forgive those who despitefully use you. When we decide to forgive, even when we're triggered by somebody's actions, that's called obedience. And obedience has fruit in our lives. We see that as we obey, that fruit is coming in our lives. Peace comes, joy comes, because all of that fruit has to be in the opposite environment. Meaning, I don't know if I have peace unless I'm in the midst of chaos. I don't know if I have joy unless I'm in the midst of sorrow. It's not because of things externally are going the way that I want them to go. It's because I have a greater. A greater covenant, not just with myself, but a covenant to God. That when I said yes to Him, I said yes to his ways, not just yes to him, yes to his ways. Jesus went to the cross to die for people who didn't care about him. Jesus got on the cross and said, father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. That's the way of Jesus. In Matthew 11. He's asking, do you want another way? When you say you committed to me and you're in covenant with me, are you saying that you're in covenant with a covenant with my ways? Because that looks like obedience. The P stands for prayer. Matthew 26. And this is the way that Matthew wrote. This whole entire story was different than everybody else. Because Matthew shows us in the story that Jesus went to pray three different times in the same setting. He says in verse 44. So when he went to pray a third time, saying the same things again. Have you ever met somebody that lives beneath their privilege? I had a friend one time who needed some money, and instead of just asking for money, he went and, like, donated some plasma or something like that. And I remember all of our friends were like, why didn't you just ask for some money? Like, you're living beneath your privilege. You're going and doing things that you don't need to do on your own, when you could have just asked for some help. When we live a prayerless life, we're living beneath privilege. Do you understand that the creator of the entire universe is tuned into you, that he has never, ever missed a second of your life, that he knows the number of hairs on your head, that he knows your thoughts before you even think them. That's how attuned he is and attached he is to you. And yet oftentimes we decide not to pray to that God. We live beneath our privilege as believers when we don't live a life of prayer. Prayer is our access to heaven. And let me demystify some things. Prayer is communion with God. You ain't got the robo show now. You can if you want to, but you don't got a robo show. A tear can be prayer. A whisper can be prayer. Sometimes the boldest, biggest prayer that you can say is, God help me. Sometimes you don't have what it takes to say all the soliloquies and know all the scriptures when you pray. But if you know that you got a God who's leaned down to hear you, you gonna say something. Because there is a power that is released to us through the act of prayer. And that's what Jesus did in this situation. He didn't go at it alone. He didn't power through it. He decided to pray. Last one is empowerment. And Luke. Luke is the only gospel who says this about this story. Luke 22:43. It talks about how Jesus is praying. And then it says, then an angel from heaven appeared. Strengthen him. Fourth and final thing, and I want to end like this. There is a power that is available to you and myself when we say yes to God and we receive that gift of salvation. Jesus left this earth and he said, I'm going to leave. But the only reason I'm leaving is because I'm sending you something greater. There is a power, the spirit. The spirit of God lives on the inside of you. And do you know what that means? That in a very natural world, we get to live supernaturally. That means we have something that the world cannot give us. And as the saints, old saints say, the world cannot take away. I remember one time, if you know anything about me and my husband's story, we done been through hell and back. And in our first couple years of marriage, we used to argue like nobody's business. I want to practically apply this, okay? Because when we talk about the Holy Spirit, sometimes it's an ethereal thing. Let me bring it down to your house, okay? So we used to argue all the time. I mean, anything would set off an argument because we were just so broken, so triggered all the time, always crashing out on one another. And I'll never forget, one day we were in an argument and I went to another room and I said to the Holy Spirit, I don't even know if I fully believed it when I said it, but I said, I need patience. I need patience. And that's really all I got out.
- [48:58]
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Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.
- [49:27]
A
Didn't know if I fully believed it, didn't know if it was going to happen, but I knew what I did not have to offer at the time and that was patience. And I kid you not, this is something that happens on the inside of you as a believer, that there are times where you will ask for something and you will feel the answer to that prayer in the moment. And I was standing in this room and I asked the Holy Spirit for that. By the time I walked over the threshold of the door to walk out of that room, I had what I know only came from heaven. A patience that was long suffering in that moment. Do you know what kind of power lives on the inside of you? Do you understand that the God of all creation lives on the inside of you? And not just so you can go do big exploits and not just so you can go become a millionaire and not so you can just go get married. Not just those things. I need in the conversations that you're having, I'm talking about in the moments where you feel alone and you want to sink into your feelings and you say, God, I need some joy. I don't know where I'm going to get that joy from, but I need some joy. In the moments where you feel like you about to crash out and everybody about to get it because you got your dukes up right now, you say, God, I need some peace. You know, I'm a fighter and I need some peace. There are so many, so many moments where we negate this power that lives on the inside of us, this power that we have because of the God that we serve. And what I want to say to you today is the same thing Jesus said in Matthew 11. Do you want to live a different way? Do you want a different way to live where the triggers don't have to be as triggering, where the crash out doesn't have to be the way that you cope? Where you can be vulnerable and true and honest about the emotions that you're feeling? Where you can find a community that actually doesn't see you as a burden, they are a burden that they want to carry. That you can be in a place where the things that used to take you out, set you off and emotionally disturb you to the point of not being able to see straight, that God can heal you from that there's a Power on the inside of you. And when we crash out, cope, essentially what we're saying is that power ain't strong enough. Today, I think God wants to open up all of our eyes to this empowerment that, that he wants to give us that. Yes. I am a devout believer in therapy, in making sure you have tools and breathing techniques, all the things, because I do believe God uses very practical things to help us not crash out. And at the same time, a very practical thing that he also offers us is his spirit. That's a teacher and a comforter, and it's gentle and it delights in the details of your life and it wants to know what's upsetting you and how can I help you? Jesus went up to blind Bartimaeus. It was obvious what his issues were. He was blind. And yet Jesus said to him, what do you want me to do? Today? We don't have to live the way that we've been living. And whatever little way God is speaking to you individually in your situation, imagine Jesus standing in front of you saying, what do you want me to do? Because that power lives on the inside of you. Let's pray. God, we are so grateful for who you are in our lives. Thank you for being a God that gives us a way of escape for everything that we want to crash out every time. We want to crash out every trigger that comes our way. You've created a way that looks like your son, one that includes community, one that includes obedience, one that includes prayer and goodness. Your empowerment today. God, will you empower us to live a different way than the way we've lived before and even just yesterday. And the triggers that don't seem that big don't seem like that big of a deal. Even those are invitations for transformation. Today, we surrender ourselves to you over and over again. Have your way in us. In the name of Jesus, While every head is bowed and every eye closed, somebody in this room today or watching online today, you want to receive this free gift of salvation. With this free gift, there's so many things that come with it, one of them being the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. And today, if you want to receive that gift, all you have to do is pray a prayer, confess with your mouth, and believe in your heart. And just like that, you're saved. So if you want to say that prayer with me, if you want to receive that gift of salvation, I'm going to ask you to say this prayer with me. And because we're a family here at Transformation Church, I'm going to ask everybody to repeat this prayer after me. Say, dear God, I admit I've made mistakes. I admit I need a savior. I ask that you change my heart, that you change my motives, that you change my life. I believe you lived, you died and you rose again. So change me, renew me and transform me. I'm yours. In the name of Jesus we pray and everybody says amen. Amen. Amen.
- [55:50]
B
Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24,7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medications for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.