Drunk In Love // Relationship Goals: In Real Life (Part 2) // Michael Todd

Summary

Podcast Summary: Drunk In Love // Relationship Goals: In Real Life (Part 2)

Podcast: Transformation Church
Host/Speaker: Pastor Michael Todd
Date: February 22, 2026
Series: Relationship Goals: In Real Life (Part 2)

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Episode Overview

This episode, titled "Drunk In Love," is the second part of the "Relationship Goals: In Real Life" series led by Pastor Michael Todd. The central theme is building healthy, God-centered relationships by first cultivating individual health and awareness. Pastor Mike confronts cultural misconceptions about love and relationships, emphasizing the need for "sober souls" rather than being "drunk in love," and uncovers how our early relational foundations shape every connection we have. He challenges listeners to examine their own foundations, seek true soul health in God, and allow God to restore what’s been broken or missing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Church Meets Real Life (01:25–03:30)

• Pastor Mike sets the tone for authentic, real-life transformation—not just a "professional church" experience.
• Quote: "There are a lot of people that want to go viral. I want to add value." (01:37)
• The importance of being "living epistles"—our lives as testimony rather than just biblical stories.

2. Relationships Are About Connections—Not Just Marriage (04:50–06:58)

• Healthy relationships go beyond romantic partnerships; every connection matters (friends, barbers, gym buddies, etc).
• Quote: "Some of us have connections with people that we have not actually valued in the way that they actually impact us." (05:59)

3. Healthy Relationships Start with Healthy Individuals (07:10–10:00)

• Key Principle: "It's not them, it's me." We can only change ourselves, not others.
• Self-awareness and surrender are core to building a healthy soul (mind, will, emotions).
• The impact of unaddressed issues and "soul ties" even to things, not just people.

4. The Soul as the Foundation (13:40–17:38)

• God wants us to prosper "just as your soul prospers." (3 John 1:2)
• Nothing impacts or injures the soul more than relationships.
• Old relational wounds, if unhealed, keep us stuck—even decades later.
• Quote: "If the word for our church this year is 'forward,' you might have to go back to heal some of the things that are wounds for you to actually move forward." (16:31)

5. Relational Foundations & Their Roots (18:40–26:00)

• God designed humans for relationships, but unhealthy foundations sabotage them.
• Problems often arise from wounds before our current relationships—they’re just exposed now, not created by the latest incident.
• Quote: "You gotta find the root... until we pull the root, any real gardener knows you can cut it down, but it's going to grow right back up." (22:20)

6. What God Gives Before a Person (21:30–25:40)

• Before relationship with another, God gave Adam: His presence, a place, provision, personality, purpose, and parameters.
• Don’t wait for a partner to walk in your purpose—run your race and let a partner join you.
• Quote: "If you are waiting for a plus one to step into purpose, you're playing yourself." (23:10)

7. Sorting Real Love from Counterfeits (27:39–34:50)

• Only God, the "manufacturer," has the real standard for relationships.
• Culture offers "dupes"—counterfeit versions of relationship goals that don’t withstand testing.
• Quote: "Everything seems real until it’s tested. What culture is selling seems real until it's tested." (31:01)
• The real thing (marriage, meaningful connections) is valuable and costly: "A healthy relationship is going to cost you pride… it's going to cost you time." (34:05)

8. The 'Drunk In Love' Illusion (34:50–48:00)

• Culture pushes a distorted, intoxicating ideal of love—euphoric, overwhelming, obsessive.
• Pastor Mike uses "drunk goggles" as a metaphor: when intoxicated by this idea, we can’t perceive reality or make wise decisions.
• Quote: "Nobody makes wise decisions when they’re inebriated… you will not make wise relationship decisions when you are intoxicated" (36:10)
• The call is to "take off" the illusion and see relationships clearly.

9. Sober Soul vs. Drunk in Love (49:23–55:38)

• Being "sober in your soul" means clear-minded living—making decisions from a place of healing, not just feeling.
• Soul health is more important than material wealth or fleeting emotional highs.
• Sober souls can apologize, repair, and grow—drunk ones cannot.
• Quote: "When you get love wrong, it messes up all your relationships. When you get relationships wrong, it shrinks the quality of your life." (49:45)

10. The Four Foundations of Healthy Relationships (56:01–63:41)

The Four S’s (from The Cusicks):

• Seen: Do I feel noticed and valued?
• Safe: Are my boundaries respected?
• Soothed: Is there comfort and care when I’m in pain?
• Secure: Is the connection stable and reliable?
• If one or more is missing in childhood, we grow up compensating, sometimes in dysfunctional ways.
• This influences the relationships we form and the ones we parent.

Parenting Application

• Are you giving your kids what you didn't get? Are you breaking or passing on cycles?
• Healthy foundations build assertive, competent, purposeful, and identity-rooted adults.

11. From Foundations to Identity (71:02–77:14)

• If the foundational needs are met, people develop healthy identity and can be open, assertive, and purposeful in relationships.
• If not, we compensate with unhealthy identities or roles, seeking externally what must be built internally.
• Quote: "If your identity starts with your idea, you can't build nothing on this." (74:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Your life is going to be the Book of [your name].” (02:00)
• “We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony—what happened in real life.” (03:00)
• “Healthy relationships come from healthy individuals. It’s not them, it’s me.” (09:00)
• “Soul health is more important than material wealth.” (46:40)
• “A real healthy relationship is gonna cost you your pride. It's gonna cost you going first.” (34:20)
• “Nobody makes wise decisions when they're inebriated… you will not make wise relationship decisions when you are intoxicated.” (36:10)
• “Culture always sells a counterfeit of what Christ created.” (33:15)
• “What is not transformed is transferred.” (63:41)
• “If God is not enough, no person ever will be.” (78:00)

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Action Steps & Applications

Four things a “sober soul” can believe (78:00–85:30)

1. I am seen by God. (Genesis 16:13, Hagar & Elroi)
2. I am safe with God. (Proverbs 18:10)
3. God soothes my pain. (Matthew 11:28)
4. I am secure in God. (Romans 8:38)

Suggested Prayer:

"Father, make me sober in my soul… fill in every hole in my soul… everything I didn’t receive from a parent or relationship, fill it, Jesus.” (90:30–94:00)

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Structural Foundations for Listeners

• Start with YOU: True transformation in relationships starts with individual healing and honesty.
• Go to God first: Only God can meet the primal needs of being seen, safe, soothed, and secure.
• Heal and parent intentionally: Don't just break cycles, build new, healthy ones.
• Test what looks real: Don’t accept cultural “dupes”—let God’s word be the foundation for your relationships.

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Timeline of Key Segments

• 01:25–05:00: Introduction to "real-life" transformation
• 05:00–12:00: Importance and types of relationships/connections
• 13:40–18:38: The soul’s health as the foundation for prosperity and healing relational wounds
• 21:30–25:40: God’s order before human relationships—what Adam received before Eve
• 27:39–34:50: "Diamond tester" illustration—testing the real vs. counterfeit in relationships
• 34:50–48:00: "Drunk in Love" metaphor, why emotional intoxication is dangerous
• 49:23–56:00: Sober soul vs. intoxicated soul, soul health over material wealth
• 56:01–63:41: The Four Foundations ("S’s") for healthy attachment and relationships
• 71:02–77:14: Moving from healthy attachment to purpose and identity
• 78:00–94:00: Restoring the soul through God, prayer, and practical teachings

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Final Thoughts

Pastor Mike ends the episode with a call for listeners to examine and reconstruct their relational foundations through God’s truth, pursue healing for themselves, and intentionally create a legacy of healthy relationships. The episode concludes with a prayer for "restoration work"—inviting God to fill every gap and making a recommitment to pursuing relationship goals God's way.

Key takeaway:
Soul health is the cornerstone for all relationships. Only God can ultimately provide what we seek from others. True, healthy love is built on a sober, healed, self-aware foundation—not culture’s intoxicated illusions.

Transcript

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[Transformation Church Podcast Host]

Welcome to Transformation Church Podcast where we represent God to the lost and found for Transformation in Christ. We're so glad you're here and wherever you're listening from, we believe God will transform your life through today's message.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

If you've been in a professional church before, we're not one of those. I just. I like real. I like authentic. I like what God does somebody say in real life? How many people want God to move in their real life? Now for the 15 fake people that didn't raise your hand, we see you. But I think that too much of our church experience has been ethereal and I believe that God wants us to experience his goodness, his grace, his wisdom in real life. So I have a burden to preach to you today in a way that it would affect your real life. I don't want shares and amens and quotes that don't show up in your life. Okay? There are a lot of people that want to go viral. I want to add value. The Bible tells us that there are some people that will never read Mark, Luke or John, but if we are living epistles, they will read the Book of say your name. I can't wait to read the Book of Daquande. Come on, say your name. Your life is going to be the Book of. Do you know there's no more powerful book than the Book of your name. Y'. All. Y' all didn't hear me? I said, when people read of what Jesus has done, they read about the woman at the well. They read about the man who was healed of his blindness. But what about when they read about you and how God healed you, filled you, took you. I gotta stop. Where is anybody? That's gonna be a living epistle. The book of Abby. The book of Charles. The book. The book of Becca. That feels good. The book of Becca. That feels good. And. And the reason I'm saying this is because some. So many times we approach the word of God like a historical fantasy. But this is the only message where God is still breathing on people and living in lives. And so I just want you to know today, I believe God is going to unlock something that you're going to write about one day. I only got 15 people that believe with me, but your kids are going to remember 15 to 20 years from now. I don't. I don't necessarily understand everything that happened in Ecclesiastes, and I'm. I'm a little confused in Leviticus, But I watched and read the life of Patricia. And I watched that in a hard season, Patricia would seek God with all she had, and she only had $2 to her name, but she would pray over that $2. And that somehow miraculous God would multiply. Y know about fishing loaves, but I know how he turned that thing in. The book of your life is more powerful. That's why we overcome the enemy by the blood of the lamb. That's what Jesus did. But the words of our own testimony. What happened. Watch this in real life. Oh, y' all thought I was gonna wait to start preaching in 15 minutes. Get your notes out. Today we are in week two of a series we are calling Relationship Goals. Help me in real life because I believe that God wants you to win in relationships in real life. You don't have to be bitter the rest of this life. You don't have to think that everybody's out to get you for the rest of this life. The Bible tells us that God desires for as it is in heaven, it to be here on earth. Or it could be said as God has already designed it in heaven. He wants a carbon copy in real life. So if there's. If there's no sickness in heaven, then he wants no sickness in real life. So you have to believe in healing because that is the vehicle of faith that we use to get healing in real life. Okay? So today I. I believe that we have to start with the thing that affects all of us is our relationships. Let me just ask a very blanket question. How many people want to be better in their relationships? Come on. Like, okay, so that's basically everybody in this room. If you're listening to this, it's not an accident. I believe God wants to say something to you, very strong through his word to help you win in all of your relationships. Let me say this one more time. This is not about your marriage. This is about your. Watch this. Connections. Relationships are all about connections. Some of us have connections with people that we have not actually valued in the way that they actually impact us. Let me give you one. I'm not gonna go down a whole list, but your barber is a connection that impacts you. Ladies, your beautician, your hairstylist is a. Okay. Y' all know it because depending on whose chair you sit in and they start rubbing on that scalp and start talking about their issues and start talking about other people's problems and start. I have seen more people get ideas for sin in a barber chair. Just in the atmosphere. Going to the barbershop wasn't thinking about blusting, but hearing the. And that's a connection. Like, I'm just going to get my hair cut. But where you get your hair cut could affect you actually cutting up your relationship. But you think it is just about the marriage. It's about all your relational connections. So the reason this series is so important is because there may be things affecting you. I've been going to him for 15 years. And you have been stuck for 15 years too. It's not that important. Maybe it is. I'm just submitting to you is where you go to eat. And that bartender who knows your order. What happened? It's quiet in here. I'm just saying that group of friends you go, that gym you go to and you know it's a whole gym. Y' all don't want to talk? Y' all don't want to talk? Y' all don't want to talk. I'm going to work my quads. You're going to delay your life. You might need to go to the gym with the 80 year olds. Hey, George. Hi, Mary. They're up there with eights. Y' all don't want to talk. For real. Because every day you fighting temptation. Seeing people in leggings and tank tops and they don't want to talk. No, I go to him because he just makes me feel seen. He understands. There's a lot of people that understand. And if you would have self discipline you could understand without him helping you with your glute bridges. Pastor Mike, why are you saying this? Because many of the relationships we are devaluing actually are impacting the way that we actually live in relationships. So today, I just want to let you know what the goal is. Somebody say, pastor Mike, what's the goal? Say it like you mean it. What's the goal? Write this down. The goal is healthy relationships. The goal is healthy. Not just to be connected, but be connected well and right. And healthy relationships. Watch this come from healthy individuals. It's not them, it's me. Say it with me. It's not them, it's me. Why is it me? Because I'm the only one that can change in my control. It's not them, it's me. And then watch this. Healthy individuals are built through self awareness and surrender. And there are a lot of people in this room right now who are not aware that there's some issues that you have relationally. Picking your picker's broke. And most people have too much pride to even evaluate because of the good times that they have had with these people. Have you ever seen that movie that Tom Hanks is in? And he becomes best friends with a volleyball? Wilson castaway? That's the name of it. Do you understand that enough time spent with anything can develop a relational soul tie? You can spend a lot of time with something and develop feelings for it. You can develop an actual priority around it. You can actually make room for it and make it something it's not. That man was talking to a volleyball, gave it a name, Wilson, because that's the company who made the volleyball. But some of us have to just become aware. I'm praying that you would become more aware of the areas in your life that God needs you to watch. This word surrender. Okay, and then last one, self awareness and surrender are the substance of a healthy soul. What is your soul? It's the thing that God cares about more than anything. It's your mind, your will, and your emotions. He did not come to save your body. He made your body as a vehicle for your soul and your spirit. And most of us were only concerned about our body and how our body feels and what our body wants and what our body. But what you don't understand is the part of you that's more you than the you that you think is you is your soul and your spirit. I went to a funeral this week. A wonderful woman. She lived 93 years. And I went up to see the body, and the body was laying in the Casket.

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Most people would rather assemble a 300 piece cabinet than search for insurance. That's why the zebra searches for you. Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find savings. No one else can Compare [e-mail] But the thing that was not there, her soul. Everybody was crying over the body, but her soul. The only thing that made it different is that it was vacant of the thing that actually makes you you. And God places a high value on your mind, your will and your emotions. Let me prove it to you. Third John, chapter one, verse two. It says, beloved, I pray that you prosper. Somebody say prosp in all things. Stop. God wants you to prosper in everything. Not everything. Everything. God wants you to prosper in Eric. He wants you to prosper in your life, in your love, in your finances. He wants you to prosper in your Dougie. Y' all don't wanna. He wants my Dougie to prosper. Ah, he was. Some of y' all just. I'm just saying like, think about it like that. He wants you to prosper in. But watch what he compares the prosperity to in your rest of your life. Look what the standard is. I want you to prosper in all things and be in health. I. I'm not even gonna touch it. Just as your. Just as your soul prospers, so God says, hey, come here. Let me see your soul. I'm going to copy and paste the health of your soul to every other area of your life. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to see your gifts. I don't want to see Your talents. I don't want to see none of your managerial skills. I don't want to see your ability to care. I don't want to see how's your soul, how's your mind, will and emotions. And depending on how wealthy that is, that's what I'm going to put in every other area of your life. If that was the match for match, dollar for dollar, wealth to wealth that God brought to us, we would take more care of our souls and the thing that impacts our souls almost more than anything else, or I can say it like this, nothing impacts soul and injures quite like relationships. Can we be honest that there are some of us still hurt from something that happened to us over three decades ago? There are people that have hurt us relationally that they don't even know they hurt us. And every time that we see them, it continues to impact us. The reason you don't want to go there, the reason you don't want to talk to them, the reason that you don't want to go to that birthday party, the reason that you sent them a gift instead of showing up, it's because. Not that you don't care or you don't want to care, it's because there's something that I have not acknowledged is a continual injury, and I'm still hurt over it. Can somebody just be hot with me? Humble, open and transparent. And just by show of hands, you ain't got to talk to them. I'm not telling you to go confess at this moment, how many people are still hurt by something that happened to you relationally? Be honest, Pastor Mike, why does this matter? I've moved on. Have you? Because everybody that's come into your life that even resembles that. You ready to knuck if you buck? Yeah. Sit down. Daya. I got some thugs in this checks. And if the word of God for our church this year is what forward, you might have to go back to heal some of the things that have been wounds for you to actually move forward. Okay, so, Pastor Mike, what do you want us to do? First thing I need you to know, write this down. God desires and designed us to be in relationships. It's his design. Humans are hardwired for connection. You can act like you don't want it. Guess what? You need it. It's the first place in the Bible that God said it's not good for a man or a woman to be alone. So I want you to know that as much as you deny it, you still need it. As much as you've Been hurt by it. You still need it. As much as you're trying to run away from it, you still need it. Some of y', all, I'll never and I won't, and it be, oh, my good body. Y' all are so. All that is is protection. You're trying to keep yourself safe from something that really hurts you really bad. And we see you. And today I want to let you know that maybe you just need to take that guard down just a second and realize that God desires and designed for you to be in relationship. Okay? But it's hard to build healthy relationships on a broken foundation. Do y' all hear what I'm saying? People are building mansions on top of cracked and faulty foundations. And so today, I need us to go backwards, to go forward, to be able to build our relationships right. And if you build your relationships right, that means you build it healthy. And if you build it healthy, it then becomes the breeding ground for everybody, everything in your life to prosper. And I want you to win in relationships. So when I started thinking about all the broken places in my life, I realized that they was mostly broken before Natalie. They got exposed with her, but they were broken before her. Please do not mistake the place where you find out as the place that it happened. Oh, God. Just because that job exposed that you're mean doesn't mean you started being mean there. Just because that relationship exposed that you go to things that aren't good to make yourself feel better. Don't think the relationship did it to you. You gotta find the root. Cause what happened is the fruit me going off, that's the fruit. Me going to figure out to talk to somebody else, that's the fruit. Me trying to numb the pain, that's the fruit. But I want you to figure out where the root of the problem is. Because until we pull the root, any real gardener knows you can cut it down with a lawnmower. But it's going to do what? Grow right back up until you go down to the root of the relational pain. You dig a little deeper and you pull that thing up, it will always be just on the brink of breaking through in your life again. But I believe by the power of the Holy Spirit, that there are some people in this place that are about to go to the relational route in this series. And some of the insecurities and the pains and the burden, I need somebody to believe this right now that have been keeping you sick and toxic for years. Somebody say, it's coming up. And as I realized that there were things that were broken in me. Before I got with my person, I started to study the word. And in the OG series of relationship goals, I did this whole talk about before the person, and I'm gonna give you a crash course on it right now, and you need to go study it later. But let me give you six things that God gives you before he gives you a person. Okay? So everybody write these down real quick. Before God gives you a person, this is what he gave Adam before Eve. He gave Adam his present. He gave him a place to be. He gave him provision. He gave personality. He gave purpose, and he gave parameters. That's all. Before he gave Adam a person. And this is what I need everybody to recognize, especially my people who are single right now. Adam was full of purpose before he met Eve. Does everybody hear what I'm saying right now? Adam was not waiting on Eve to get started on what God had called him to do. And some of y' all have been waiting. When I get my person, because I know I'm supposed to start a marriage ministry, start a singles one first. And start working on yourself and become who God's created you to be. Why are you saying this? Write this down. If you are waiting for a plus one to step into purpose, you're playing yourself. The purpose can happen with you. They should be added to what God is already doing. Don't wait to start running till they get there. Start running and let them catch up. Oh, y' all don't hear me? Some of y' all gotta understand. Y' all are slowing down to wait for somebody who never was gonna run the race anyway. Oh, God. The reason why there's so many options is because you're in the stand and you're supposed to be on the track. Okay, let me stop. Some of y' all have to start running after God, running after purpose. Do the thing. Open the business, buy the house. Oh, God. Well, I just wanted to make sure, you know, because two incomes. And I watched this YouTube video about, you know, double incomes. And God can bless you. He can supply you with everything that you. Y' all don't hear what I'm saying? Some of y' all have put off the blessing, waiting for him, waiting for her. And God says, I can do it through you. I'm the God of everything. What if you're the blessing that they need when they get to your situation? Somebody say, start now. If you're not spending time in his presence, if you haven't found the place that God has called you to be in, if you're not seeing provision in the space that God has called you to. If you don't recognize and love your personality and who God's created you to be, if you don't walk in purpose and if you don't have boundaries, boundaries or parameters, please stop praying for the person. Because all they gonna do is complicate this. I can't even go, I'm have to do a whole dating, like a whole dating sermon on this thing. Because this is what I need everybody to understand. If you're single, it's not a punishment. This ain't my message today, but some of y' all have been calling preparation a punishment. It some of you have been so disgruntled in the season or so checked out of what God is trying to do to prepare you that you are now not even wanting or desiring what he still has for you today. I want to let you know that God wants you to win in relationship. Okay, Pastor Mike, get to the point. So if we're in this series and we're talking about relationships, I need you to stop believing the lies about relationships. Because what ends up happening is you have so many people telling you things that you don't know. What is the truth? Many people are information fatigued. You think everything is on the same level because it's coming to you. But every source is not credible. When people with no kids start giving parenting advice, it's like, child, go sit down somewhere with your dumb self you don't know nothing about. You understand what I'm saying? And I was one of them. I'm like, if you have kids and da, da, da. And my people would be looking at me like, and now I get it. Because pride will have you thinking you could tell somebody who actually does it. It's like broke people telling people what to do with money. It's like you just asked me for $50. How do you know what I'm supposed to invest in? What I'm saying is I have to every week bring back the fact that this has to be the standard for how we're going to build relationships. It is not the balloon popping on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. It is. It is not your favorite social media. It is the word of God. Why are you saying that? Because he's the manufacturer.

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[Pastor Mike Todd]

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And it helps to have something that works as hard as you do. That's why Valspar has durable, high coverage paint for every job. Every time made. For more Valspar pros. Head to Lowe's today and talk to a pro rep about saving time and money on your next job with Valspar. Signature paint exclusions applied. See valsparpro.com for details.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

You cannot get right instructions from a person who did not create the actual thing. People have experiences with it, but it doesn't mean they know how it was intended to work. And for the next five weeks, we're only consulting with God on what he says about relationships. Can I get one big amen? Can I get one big amen? So watch this. The reason this is important, I'm just trying to systematically teach you, is because culture is a department store full of dupes. Y' all know what a dupe is, right? Something that's counterfeit. Somebody said right here. It's right here. The bag. I walked in like. Like anybody, okay, Any. Anybody have been duped before and actually thought they were buying the real thing. Thought they were participating in the real thing. Thought somebody really loved you and liked you, but all they wanted was the thing that they wanted. Guess what? You were. You were duped. And culture will continue to sell you these lies about relationship that actually will have you out here thinking you got the real thing. And it is all counterfeit fake. And there are too many people that I see that are being fooled by the fake. This is why God's word is so important. Quick question. Is there anybody in here that has been recently engaged? Like, recently got engaged? Is there anybody in here recently engaged? Who do I see? Somebody hand. Hey, how long y' all been engaged? You confused? Two months. Y' all planning to get married soon, or is it Thursday? Tuesday? Hey, this is relationship goes in real life. You got a ring, sweetheart. Okay. Are you fine with me coming to test and see if it's real? I have a diamond tester right here. Look at him. He said, come check it, big dog. Okay, we gonna see. We gonna see. We gonna see. Anybody else want me to test the. They ring as I'm here? Hold on. No, no, no, no. Let me see. Great big mama gave it to you. Let's see if it's real. Hey, y'. All, what you got? You got. Is that. What's your name? J.C. j.C. And Sebastian. Sebastian. Now I don't have to do this. That man said I work too hard. You got people to call if it's not, huh? All right, so red means real, green means fake. All right. I don't know if this is a smart decision. No. All right, let's try it. Okay, I gotta take the cap off. Let me make sure I'm working this right. No, it's not gonna hurt. Hold on, hold on. Lord, is this. Oh, hold on. It's going to green.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

Hold on.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

Let me. Hold on. Let me hold it. It's red, y'. All. It's red. Oh, God. Thank you. Where y' all going for your honeymoon? Where y' all going for your honeymoon? Y' all gonna be here. I'm gonna give you a thousand dollars for a honeymoon here in this city. All right? Make sure they get that after service. All right? Who else's ring I'm testing in here? Whose ring am I testing, huh? You don't want to test it. Hold on. Why you holding his hand? Who else? Somebody said my diamond earrings. See? See? I need everybody to understand something real quick. Everything. What you want. You. You want to see it over there? What is it? It's a ring. No, I feel the spirit of delusion over there. I don't. The Holy Spirit stopped me right there. He said, don't do it. I'm trying. I'm trying to give you a point that everything seems real until it's test. What culture. What culture is selling seems real until it's tested? Polygamy seems real until it's tested. And I wanted to tell you that, by God's word, it's a dupe. And I'm telling you that God's coming to test people's relationships. And why they're falling apart is because they weren't built on a solid foundation. Christ is my firm foundation. The rock on which I stand when everything else is around me is shaken. Never been more glad. Why? Because I put my faith in Jesus. Hear me say this to you. Culture always sells a counterfeit of what Christ created. It cannot be a counterfeit if there's not a real thing. So the reason why marriage is supposed to be the goal is because that's. That's what the manufacturer invented. Everything else is a copy of a copy. And so what I need you to know is the fact that there's a copy proves that the real thing is valuable. There has never been a Louis bag made that was not already made by the manufacturer. They're copying at a cheaper value. What actually does have value. So the very proof of counterfeit relationships means the real thing is out there. And this is why. Oh, I feel the presence of God. And this is why, as people of God, we have to understand what God says about our relationships, about me being brother to brother and sister to sister and co worker to co worker and manager to co worker and father to son and mother to daughter. I got a feeling. Figure out how to do those right in real life. Okay? So the reason why people always settle for the copy is they don't want to pay the cost. So a healthy relationship is going to cost you. I'm just trying to give y' all some. We only in week two, y'. All. I saw how your face looked last week, and I was like, I don't think they can take another one like that. I got to come up for a second just to give you some handles to be able to understand. Listen, a real healthy relationship is gonna cost you your pride. A real healthy relationship is gonna cost you going first. I apologize when they apologize. Well, I apologize when they apologize. You say something, you say something. If you say something, then I'll say the thing that I need to say. If you say something, then I'll say the thing you need to say. And it's just a cycle of people that are hurting, hurting other people. A real healthy relationship. Watch. This is going to cost you time. I can't tell you. There has not been one time that my wife says, can I talk to you? That it's a good time. I mean, I be on my way out. I'm already late for a meeting. I got a date. And she'd be like, can I talk to you. I'm like, yes. And, you know, if it's a. Can I talk to you? That is not a one sentencer. It starts something like this. Well, I was thinking, oh, no, Some of you have not seen the relationship you want because you won't give it the time you give Netflix. You will sit down and watch an unrated movie. For an hour and a half, easy, get to the end of it and say, that was. That was stupid, and not think about it ever again. And if somebody wants to talk to you for 30 minutes face to face, sit down on the table without technical devices, be in counsel and talk. Your kids want to talk to you. Not on the rush into somewhere, but just, just listen to what I'm saying. I know that seems disrespectful to you, but listen to me. When your kids are begging you to listen to them, you won't even. Ain't nobody gonna disrespect me up in my house. And I'll give you something to cry about. And you doing all of that, you didn't even hear me. I'm trying to tell you something about me I'll never tell you again. The relational wound. The pain starts. The crack forms. And today I just. I gotta address a counterfeit that I'm seeing in culture that I just need to correct real quick. As we move in this series, I have to correct the idea that culture is selling us about how love is supposed to feel. First Corinthians 13 gives us clearly how love is supposed to feel, but actually we've been sold this idea that love is exhilarating and euphoric and all consuming and almost hypnotic. And it's a fantasy of uninterrupted bliss. And it's pleasure and enjoyment all the time. It's insatiable. And that's a lie. Love is none of those things. And what ends up happening is everybody is selling this idea that the most fulfilling love is the love that's just whimsical and free and just free flowing and just going the way that. I don't know what interpretive dance I'm doing right now, but it's this idea of being drunk in love. Matter of fact, that's what I'm gonna title today's sermon, Drunk in Love. Every time I see him and every time he says something, and every time she walks in and every time she says, daddy, y' all hear what I'm talking about? Every time I smell, oh, my God, just spray your cologne on me. And as I was thinking about that Drunken love. I've been thinking. I've been thinking. Nobody listen makes wise decisions when they're inebriated. You will not make wise relationship decisions when you are intoxicated. And I thought about this, that a lot of times people are making bad relational decisions because they're running from something that they didn't have in their foundation, and so they don't want to feel. So they start doing things that they know are uncharacteristic and they wouldn't even tell their kids to do. But because it's in the moment of how I feel, then I start going with it, and I get inebriated by the feeling and the idea, and I'm doing stuff I would never do, and you make me feel so alive. You drunk? And so I went and got these drunk glasses. I don't know if you've ever seen these before, but these are supposed to imitate what it looks like for somebody to be intoxicated. And I haven't really seen. Oh, shoot. But the crazy thing is, I'm gonna try to preach the rest of my message. Oh, Jesus. I'm gonna try to preach the rest of my message. This. There's. Wow. This place just turned into Madison Square Garden. Am I going the right way? Hold on. Wait. Am I going the right way? Because to me it looks right, and to me it feels right. How I'm handling this relationship feels right. And I have five hands. All right? What y' all don't understand is I feel something here, but it looks like it's over there. Right now I'm in danger because what I think I'm seeing and experiencing is not the real thing. That was way closer than I thought it was gonna be. I can't read one of these. You think maybe I should take them off? Maybe you should take that relationship off. I feel like I look good. I feel like this is how I've been and nobody's come to save me yet. I feel like the last time I tried to be honest with somebody. Today, I'm asking you to take them off. To take off the illusion of what your relationship is creating for you. Pastor Charles, come here real fast. Because the crazy thing about it is I was getting dizzy, and I didn't think that this was going to be good. But. But I want you to just stand right there. Walk in a straight line. Just straight to. Simple. Go back, Put these on. Now walk to me. Stop. Do you see how much more cautious he has to be? How strong, slow his movements are? Come on, just walk to me. Now Now I want you to see. Boy, you look crazy. What should be easy has now become difficult because I'm intoxicated by the idea of love. Instead of what love is in real, love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not. Watch this one. Keep any record of wrong. How many of y' all have a parole list for the person you say you're in love with? You know, the date, the time, the hour, what they was wearing. Is it love? The reason I'm showing you this is because I think some of us have been making bad decisions relationally because we've been intoxicated with the idea of love. He's still back there looking stupid. But relationally, when you bring that God of Thanksgiving, so do you. Summer's coming, and some of y' all gonna look just like this. Spring break's on the way, and some of y' all gonna look just like this. And nobody's even expecting it to you. Cause you in DMs and secret chats and people don't even know. And you got your stuff on Vanish, and you sending notes at the office and you doing all that, you look dumb because you. Come on, Rick. I'm sorry, Charles. Thank you for using. Thank you. And that's what I'm believing. God's gonna make the scales fall off of your eyes. Yep. I'm believing by the end of this series, something is coming off and you're throwing away. Bam, there it is. I'm just trying to let you know scales are falling off in the name of Jesus. I believe that scales are falling off your eyes. Relationship. And every. Y' all need to believe it right now. Scales are falling off my life. I will not be confused. I will not be in delusion about what the relationship actually is. There are too many people that are relationally under the influence. And Pastor Mike and I. I just hear. I hear my older son, Saints, being like, what. What can he teach me about this? And I. I know, I know, I know. But these have been areas that nobody has talked about in so long that. That you haven't even started to think my marriage, after 50 years, could get better. Do y'. All. Do y' all hear what I'm saying? Like, y' all just exist together. Y' all are great business partners. The kids are happy. Like, you do your thing, I do my thing, and we come together and we. We play Scrabble together. Like you got your. But what if. What if the most passionate days of your life could be literally at the point of you actually getting healed in your Soul. So instead of. Watch this. Being drunk in love, what if you became sober in your soul? What if you were sober in your mind, your will and emotions, that every time you made a relational decision, it's like, no, I can't. No, actually, I really like you, but I cannot connect with you like that. And you don't got to tell them all of this, but you're like, I see traits of toxicity in the area of telling the truth. And I know my past. I used to be a liar. So if I'm around somebody with those tendencies, it makes me feel better to go back and to those tendencies. And so, no, bro, it's all good, man. We gonna have to pass on that. And that might be passing on money, and that might be passing on connection, but what you did was value your soul over the bad. And I want you to hear me say this. Your soul health is more important than material wealth. When's the last time you made the right decision for your soul and not your salary? What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? All I'm trying to do is be hot, y'. All. Matter of fact, let me be real hot, because I'll be up here just telling it. I honestly, just to make a confession, I've never been drunk before. Like, never in my whole life. Paige said, wow. I know you thought because I was wild and stuff, I. I'll turn up with you. But that's just sprite. Like, I don't need. I'm high on life. Yeah. Never been drunk before in my life. I just like slushies better. But what ends up happening is I have been intoxicated. See, I've never been drunk on a drink, but I have been intoxicated.

[Podcast Host]

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

[Dan Morgan]

Hey. How's it going today?

[Podcast Host]

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

[Dan Morgan]

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

[Podcast Host]

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion won. 20 billion is an insane number.

[Dan Morgan]

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north. Probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year, we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

[Podcast Host]

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

[Dan Morgan]

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 247 365.

[TurboTax Announcer]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.

[Dan Morgan]

Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

When you're a pro, you gotta do a little bit of everything. A little,

[Pastor Mike Todd]

a little, and even a little.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

And it helps to have something that works as hard as you do. That's why Valspar has durable, high coverage paint for every job. Every time made. For more Valspar pros, head to Lowe's today and talk to a pro rep about saving time and money on your next job with with Valspar signature paint exclusions applied. See valsparpro.com for details.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

With insecurities and I've been lit on lust. Oh, come on. I've been faded with fear. Now, I know everybody not going to admit it, but I've been intoxicated before. I've been tipsy on temptation and wasted with my own wants. I have been gone on greed. You gone on patron. I've been gone on greed. Doing whatever I had to do to feel that place in my soul that told me if I had more, if there was more in the bank account, if I could be able to do more, then I would somehow be more. And God says, you're everything you I've called you to be. We just got to uncover it now. And when you get love wrong, it messes up all your relationships. And when you get relationship wrong, it shrinks the quality of your life. Oh, God. Some of you feel like your life sucks. It's not because it does. It's because your relationships do. I meet people and be like, you live in Tulsa. Tulsa, Oklahoma? What, do y' all have cars there? Is it cows just going down the street? I'm like, man, y' all are whack and underexposed. But this is the thing, is any place is a good place with the right people. The reason why you want to move is because your relationships are bad. And you think a new location will produce new relationship equity. My man ain't in Tulsa. You don't know that. You haven't met every man in Tulsa, and you don't go nowhere. Okay, let me stop because I'mma have to do a whole. You hang out with your girls all the time. He can't find you because you're covered up by all your gangs. Go somewhere looking nice by yourself,

[TurboTax Announcer]

period.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

I'm just trying. I'm just trying to. I'm trying to help you because your life is better. Watch this. Where your relationships are better and some of us have been so closed off. That's why I'm telling you right now, you need to be sober in your soul. This is new language to add to your prayer. Father, make me sober in my soul. Father God, I'm emotional right now, but make me sober in my soul. I need to make this decision not by being swayed by them or that or mom or dad or family or friends. Make me sober in my soul. Let me give you Bible for first. Thessalonians, chapter 5, verse 5. So then let us not be like others who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. Wake up. After you get drunk for real, what do you have to do? Go to sleep. That's the first thing y' all got to do. Go to sleep. I gotta sleep this off and you sleep it off, and then the next thing you have to do is what? Wake up. Wake up. Another way you could say it, grow up. When I was a child, I acted like a child. I reasoned like a child. I did things like a child. I went and got drunk before I had to take a test. I did dumb stuff. But when I got older, when I woke up, when I grow. When I growed up, I put those childish things away. It says, wake up and get sober. For those who sleep, watch this. Sleep at night. And those who get drunk, guess when they get drunk too. At night. But since we belong to the day or the light or the sun is coming, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate and the hope of salvation as a helmet. Wake up and get sober in your soul. Because I've said it before, but I want you to get it in your heart, soul. Health is more valuable than material wealth. You may have been intoxicated by love, but I believe by the end of this series, you're going to be sober in your soul. You know what can happen when you're sober in your soul? You can apologize. It's very hard to apologize when you're intoxicated. When you're intoxicated on pride, you can't say, my bad. What I said was true, but the tone that I came with, you didn't deserve that. And that was me. And I gotta work on that. I gotta go back and get some better language.

[Podcast Host]

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

[Dan Morgan]

Hey, how's it going?

[Podcast Host]

Today it's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

[Dan Morgan]

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

[Podcast Host]

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

[Dan Morgan]

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north. Probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

[Podcast Host]

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

[Dan Morgan]

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 247 365.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.

[Dan Morgan]

Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

When you're a pro, you gotta do a little bit of everything. A little,

[Pastor Mike Todd]

a little, and even a little.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

And it helps to have something that works as hard as you do. That's why Valspar has durable, high coverage paint for every job. Every time made. For more Valspar pros. Head to Lowe's today and talk to a pro rep about saving time and money on your next job with Valspar. Signature paint exclusions apply. See valsparpro.com for details.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

Do you know some of y' all could have a better relationship this week if you just said sorry. Say sorry to your kids. You broke your promise to them. But they didn't know. All I had to do to be able to get them. They're not supposed to. They're kids. You're the parent. They didn't choose to come here. You chose to have them, though. So just. Hey, I know I told you that we were going to be able to spend this time. I'm not making any excuses. I want to say I'm sorry. I want you to believe my word. You mean the world to me. And next time I'm going to make a promise or I'm going to mend it before the time so that you can have a proper expectation. I love you. Y' all want to come to the altar. You want to get intoxicated with emotions. You want to cry? And what I'm saying is, when that's all done, sober up, wake up and you got to go do the hard work. Okay, here we go. So I'm gonna just lay that foundation one more time so you can get a picture in your mind that I hope you never forget. There are four foundational things that every person needs to build healthy relationships. This theory was taught to me and my wife by our counselors, the cusicks, who literally have, over the last five years, helped me and Natalie through God's word and through therapy and theology, transformed our life. And I believe part of the reason he has taken us through this process is so that we could give it away to the body of Christ in a way that allows you to be able to understand it and apply it to your life. He doesn't want this to be ethereal. He wants you to be healed in real life. So I told everybody last week, these are the foundations for any successful relationship. The first thing you have to do is be say it with me. You have to be seen. And if you are going to have any type of real stability, you have to feel safe. And if you have pains in your life, because this life is full of pain, somebody needs to come and care for you. Somebody needs to tell you it's gonna be all right. You have to be soothed. And when you get proper relationship attachment, that means the connections are secure. People don't just come in and out. People don't just tell you one thing and leave you high and dry. Then you will be able to be secure. Which one of these do you not have? Or let me frame it a different way. Which one did you not get? Because the truth of the matter is you couldn't supply yourself with this. You got introduced to this through the parental structure that you were given. And I just want to let you know the enemy's plan. That's why I got to talk about marriage in the family. Because at the end of the day, that God wants you to feel seen and soothed, which usually are nurturing capacities that come for the mother. And so what ends up happening is many times as the enemy tries to attack fathers in the household, he tries to take security out and Satan safety out, and tries to make you now build a life just being soothed and seen. But because that mama is bitter now, and she can't even stand to see you because you look like your daddy. And you get reminded, and she still got to drop them off. Now she don't have no time for you, so she don't soothe you. We ain't got time for all that. We struggling over here. Happy birthday. To you, this is real life. I see. And only time you get seen is when you do your makeup. Girl, that's cute. When you put your clothes together, when you. When you join the Palm squad, when you were good at volleyball, when you started performing. So you're trying to feel the love gap that you have. Oh, God. With just being seen. So now you can't go out the house looking regular, because the only way I get love, the only way I get seen, the only way somebody notices me is if I'm better than everybody else. And now I got to compare myself to people. And now my literal attachments are jacked up because of what I didn't get. Or maybe you have that parent that never let you fall. They soothed you. No, no, no, no, no. Don't let them go through anything. They only soothed you, mama boy. I'm just saying right now, you can't go through any hard things, because anytime there was something, all you got was soothed and what you needed to be as well. Secure to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We fell off the bike, but we're secure enough to get back on hurt, but we got to figure out how to ride this bike. And because you didn't get this, now, when somebody challenges you, when somebody doesn't come and coddle you every time that you. It is quiet in this church today. All I'm saying is I don't know what it is for you, but I need everybody to start evaluating. What did you get and what didn't you get? And let me take it up for all the parents. What are you giving and what are you not giving? I know you had the kids, but do you see them? Do they feel soothed?

[Podcast Host]

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

[Dan Morgan]

Hey, how's it going today?

[Podcast Host]

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

[Dan Morgan]

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

[Podcast Host]

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

[Dan Morgan]

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year, we get bigger and bigger batter, and our army grows, so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

[Podcast Host]

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

[Pastor Mike Todd]

What.

[Podcast Host]

What would I do if I got into an accident?

[Dan Morgan]

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open or call center is always waiting to take your call. 24. 7 365.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.

[Dan Morgan]

Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

When you're a pro, you gotta do a little bit of everything. A little,

[Pastor Mike Todd]

a little, and even a little.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

And it helps to have something that works as hard as you do. That's why Valspar has durable, high coverage paint for every job, every time made. For more Valspar pros, head to Lowe's today and talk to a pro rep about saving time and money on your next job with Valspar. Signature paint exclusions apply. See valsparpro.com for details.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

Are they secure? Are they safe? Why are you saying this? Pastor Mike? Because they're forming their relationship identity right now. The reason that you gotta heal this stuff and get relationship goals in real life is because what is not transformed is transferred. Pastor Mike, what is it supposed to look like? Well, let me give you the way it's supposed to look like. If you actually are seen and soothed, you start to get assertive. You can have an opinion at a young age. You can actually say what you want without getting beat. Eat all that food. I'm full. The dysfunction of poverty in your mind is now making me overeat because you see me leaving something on the plate as a disrespect to your hard work. But it actually is a boundary of what my body needs. And if you now tell me I can't get up until I eat all of it, I am now forming ideas that I have to do everything they say. I shouldn't have an opinion. I shouldn't tell people when I'm actually hurting. I shouldn't tell people how I actually feel. I shouldn't be able to speak up because every time I do, I get put back in my place. They don't see me. They're not trying to help me in this moment. And so now, how do you end up in an abusive relationship? I can't tell you. That's too hard. I don't like that. Don't talk to me like that. There's no boundaries. Oh, my God. But if you do it right and somebody sees you, then you can say this, and it doesn't threaten the relationship. Yesterday somebody invited my kids to a birthday party and I just assumed both of my big girls wanted to go to the birthday party. So I told the person, and they came over to pick the kids up. And then right when I was like, I was like, bella, such and such is coming over to pick you up for the birthday party. And she was like, I don't want to go. And there was something in me was like, you don't want to go? But I had enough emotional intelligence at the time to be like, baby, you good. Instead of telling her that she had to go, I asked her what's going on, because usually she would want to go. And I could have pressured her, her and all this stuff. And I was like, no, no, no, you don't want to go. She's like, I just want to stay home. I just want to be here with you guys. And at that moment, the Holy Spirit was like, let her stay home. She just was assertive and said what she wanted. This doesn't hurt anything, cuz I want her to have a voice. So when your nappy head little boy come up and try to talk to. Let me stop. If you do it right, I'm still a father. Pray for me. If you do it right, if you are seen, soothed, secure, and safe, then you become competent. You'll learn stuff. Because I'm secure. Like, I'll learn how to do something else because I'm. I don't have to try to be. To be what you think I am. I could actually be proficient in something you don't know nothing about. Your relational partner should be smarter than you at stuff. Oh, my gosh. They don't want to hear that I'm the man of the house. Boy, two are better than one. If it's two of you, we lose. There is stuff that Natalie can do and she is more competent in. And I don't make her feel less than. I don't shoot all these dudes. Like, my wife can't make more than me. Make more than me. Make more than me. Please make more than me. Natalie is looking for makeup contracts right now. She's. No, I'm just trying, but. L' Oreal Fenty, whoever. Make more than me. Why. Why are we. Oh, but if you're not secure as a man, the zeros make you be threatened by their competence. Oh, my God, y', all. I'm preaching up here right now. This is why you can't stand her doing what she's doing or he doing what she's doing, because it doesn't make you feel worthy anymore. So you would rather keep your partner at a lower level, which keeps y' all at a Lower level than to build both of you. Oh, God. And if it's done right. Healthy relationships. We're talking about healthy, say, healthy relationships. This should be every person that when you now are assertive and competent, now you can start working in purpose. And when I find my purpose and I find purposes, because I believe your purpose can continue to evolve. I won't always be the pastor of this church. This is part of my purpose right now. But because I am safe and I'm secure and I'm soothed and I'm seen, there are certain things that I can start exploring without thinking. Are they gonna leave me? Are they gonna abandon me? Are they gonna be threatened by me? Can I ask them a question? Can I disagree? Can I be an individual and still be connected to you? Do you know how many people are in relationships that don't actually all the way show up?

[Podcast Host]

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

[Dan Morgan]

Hey, how's it going today?

[Podcast Host]

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

[Dan Morgan]

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is is America's largest injury law firm.

[Podcast Host]

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

[Dan Morgan]

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north. Probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

[Podcast Host]

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

[Dan Morgan]

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 247 365.

[Podcast Host]

Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's large injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.

[Dan Morgan]

Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

When you're a pro, you gotta do a little bit of everything. A little,

[Pastor Mike Todd]

a little and even a little.

[Valspar/Lowe's Announcer]

And it helps to have something that works as hard as you do. That's why Valspar has durable, high coverage paint for every job. Every time made. For more Valspar pros, head to Lowe's today and talk to a pro rep about saving time and money on your next job with Valspar signature paint exclusions applied. See valsparpro.com for details.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

There are so many people under the sound of my voice right now that are in relationships where they think they know all of the person and you probably know 15 to 20% into them because their foundation was not secure. They don't feel able to be assertive enough to say, no, I don't want to go there, or I don't want to go there anymore. Well, we used to go there all the time. And this used to always float your boat. I don't like it anymore. At some point we stopped. Me and Natalie used to go to cheddar's every week, three times a week. Cause you can eat two whole meals at cheddar's for $32. We would go to Cheddar's and get that spinach dip and them croissants. And that's why I was up here big, because I ate all the croissants. And at some point, what used to be very familiar, we just like, I don't want to go there anymore. That's okay. If you have healthy connections and if you build it right, watch this. I get to become. Watch this me. Everybody's just trying to be themselves. And the places where you have the healthiest relationships is where you can show up as all of you. The reason that there are certain people that get to see all of me. Cause I feel safe, secure, soothed and seen. If I don't feel that around you, you don't get me. You get a piece of me, a sliver of me. Come on. And when you find me yourself, guess what gets formed. And this is what most people are missing. Identity. Oh, I'm cooking. The reason why a post or a meme can change your whole life view is because something was cut out down here and you're trying to form your identity based on somebody else. Most people are starting with this. This is just who I am. Because I had nobody to make me feel safe, seen, secure or soothed. So I'm gonna make who I want to be. This is my identity. I am a puppy. Hear my. My pronouns are pup, puppy. Cuz I wasn't safe, secure, soothed, or so I'm going to make it up. Y' all didn't give it to me. I am the archbishop, prophet to the nations. You just mess. You made up a title on Facebook and asking people to send you $17.72. You made it up because the people in those church, in that church you grew up in, they didn't make you feel safe. He was abusing you in the back and you weren't Secure and you weren't soothed and you weren't seen. So you went to Facebook and made it up.

[Transformation Church Podcast Host]

Jesus.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

You can't build nothing on this. If your identity starts with your idea, you can't build nothing on this. Read into it as deep as you want to. But if you're the originator of it, it's gonna crumble. But if you build it on the solid foundation, then you get identity. And guess what happens when identity is just me, me, then I find you. Now I know if we are a soul match because I don't need a soul mate. The only one that is the mate for my soul is God. But I do need somebody that matches me on this level. Somebody say, get on my level. Get on my level. Ah, get on. I'm still getting. The only way that I know if they're on my level. If we were built the same, not physically, but in our soul. So I've done the hard work to not even be perfect in these. But no, I'm self aware. Hey, I have a problem with attachment. So you're going to say you're going to go with your boys and I'm going to think automatically you're cheating on me. Do you see? So I need you to reinforce to me that you'll never leave me, that you're actually for me. Because when I was young, my dad wasn't there or he made promises or he cheated on my mom or he said. And so I know that I have a unhealthy attachment when it comes to security. So I'm telling you this because sometimes when I'm talking, it's not what I really want to do. But I'm still working out how to heal the part of me that doesn't trust what you are saying. And I see the pictures and I see the hoops and I see you at the the thing because I do have your location on. But having a location on is not really about you. It's about the security that I didn't get and the security that I need. Do you see how you could actually move forward in health with that understanding?

[Podcast Host]

I've got Dan Morgan here on the podcast. Say hi, Dan.

[Dan Morgan]

Hey, how's it going today?

[Podcast Host]

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

[Dan Morgan]

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

[Podcast Host]

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion won. 20 billion is an insane number.

[Dan Morgan]

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually I think somewhere north. Probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

[Podcast Host]

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan, what would I do if I got into an accident?

[Dan Morgan]

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 247 365.

[TurboTax Announcer]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's large injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.

[Dan Morgan]

Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now? Really? I can get super specific with dealer listings and see cars based on my budget. You can really have it delivered or pick it up.

[Transformation Church Podcast Host]

I think kid is walking up the slide.

[Pastor Mike Todd]

Really? Autotrader, buy your car online, really? But without it, it's just what you hiding? Whoa. I'm just going to. Hoo. That's what they call it now. Hooping, scoring. I'm just trying to give you how quickly a need watch this can turn into a battle. They're actually trying to tell you what they need. But because they are watch this. Either unaware or unwilling, they turn their legitimate need into an unwarranted battle. Alright, I'm done. Y' all have had enough for today. This one, it becomes the ride of your life. This is when it becomes so good. This is when you're able to to go in every area of your life and be like, I love it. That's what it's supposed to feel like when it's built. Right? And for those who are divorced or second time single or trying to figure it out without this, you end up building something that is compromised. And then guess what we try to do. We try to raise kids on that. And so if we put our kids on top of this, This is the family I believe for. This is what I prayed for. But the truth of the matter is I've never felt secured and I don't really feel safe with you. Do you know the thing that's moving right now because you were never seen, There's somebody else's life that is affected by you getting the foundation of your life in relational order. Today I'm asking every person under the sound of my voice. Every time how many of your children are just barely holding on. And for some of us. It's never even been built to this place. So what they're doing is looking at your example. That didn't work at all. And then they're saying, you know what? Just build it all about you. This is your life. Don't care about nobody else. Get your degree, get your money, do all this other stuff. I didn't have none of it. You ain't gonna have none of it. And we just gone. There's not even room for anybody else here. This is why we don't witness to anybody. This is why we can't care for our brother. This is why we can't embrace other ethnicities. This is why we can't. It's because our relational foundation was only built big enough for one. But if God's word tells us the only way that the world will know that your mind is for your love for one another, he's saying we gotta go back to the basics, and we gotta be sober in our souls. So, Pastor Mike, what do you want me to do? I want you to start with you. Very simple. I'm just gonna say them so that you can write them down. These are the things that you need. You need to take you out of it. Where's this one? You. You need to take you out of it. Well, I don't do counseling. Take you out of it. Well, this is a waste of time. This is a waste of money. Take you out of it. We ain't starting with you. You don't know what you need. You have no clue. You wore that outfit today. You. We. We can see. No, I'm just playing. Here it is. Let's go back to the basics. Because if God is not enough, no person ever will be. Did you hear what I just said to you? This is the truth. You have to believe. I'm seen by God. I'm secure with God. God cares for me, so he'll soothe my pain. And I'm safe with him. Pastor Mike, no person can heal this in you. God is the only one can meet this need. Your parents watch this. We're supposed to reflect it, but they weren't the originator of the image. Oh, God. So if you didn't even get it from your parents and they're gone, or they're stubborn, or they don't want to work, or they don't. It's okay. God says, I'll be the father to the fatherless. I set people who are out of family. I set them into families. The spirit of adoption is here. Come on home. Oh, I feel the presence of God. And some of you, my brothers and sisters, are about to come home, and you're going to hear our father say, I see you. I'll make you feel safe. I'll care for you and soothe the pain. And you can be safe with me and secure with me. Four things a sober soul believes. Number one, I'm seen by God. If your soul is going to be sober, you need to know, I am seen by God. Somebody say it. I am seen by God. In Genesis 16:13, we are introduced to a name of God. It's Elroy. Elroy. And Hagar says this. And some of y' all know who Hagar is. Hagar is the mistress, Cyrus, the slave woman that Abraham and Sarai pulled into the equation when they didn't want to wait on God. So they didn't want to wait on God, so they said, well, we might as well do a plan on our own. And they have a baby named Ishmael. But then Sarah gets mad because this girl ain't gonna be in my house. She's like, you invited me here, like. And it was a whole Real Housewives of the Desert. I don't even know where they was at going crazy. And you can read it in Genesis 16 that Hagar is crying out to God because she was not seen by the very people who were supposed to take care of her. You used me for what I could produce, and you threw me away. And God begins to prophetically speak to her and say, I'm going to bless you. I'm going to make Hagar actually prosper. He going to be wild, but he's going to be able. And she goes through all this stuff. And because God saw her in the middle of her depression, her. Her loneliness, the heartache, the heartbreak, the isolation, this is what she says you are, Elroy, or God who sees me. I came to tell somebody right now, you may have not been seen by your earthly mother or your earthly father. You may make not have been seen by that coworker or that manager or that pastor. But today, Elroy, God who sees, is telling you, I see you. Four things a sober soul believes. I am seen by God. Second one, I am safe with God. Proverbs 18:10. The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it, and they are what you've been running to. Everything else. Jesus, I need you in this situation. Run to him. The third truth the sober soul believes is God soothes my pain. I don't got to keep running to that. And him and her and Accolades and followers and upgrades. I don't have to run to that. God is the one who soothes my pain. Matthew 11:28. Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest for your soul. And the last truth a sober soul believes is, I am secure in God. Romans 8:38. And there will be nothing that will be able to separate us from the love of God. Can you think about, like, there's nothing my kids can do to not be my kids. Like that's what God's saying to you. Throw a temper tantrum, walk away from me, do your own thing. When you get hurt, come on back. I'll be the one to soothe you. And today I'm just letting you know God wants to meet your relationship, goals, needs so that all your other relationships can be built off of a sure, secure foundation standing up all over this place. Today I want to pray with anyone that knows that they need to be sober in their soul, that there are areas that you may have missed and it's hard to build on the foundation that's not sure today before everybody leaves, we will be gone in three minutes. But I think God wants to do a restoration work on you today. My wife has an old school car and it's been restored. That means there were things that were created that could go into the car now that weren't invented when it was made. So the car is not just back to how it was. It's better. What if God said, I know you missed it, but I'm the God that can make you better. Somebody should shout just for the possibility. Like, what if God said, I know he wasn't there and I know they didn't have the bandwidth to give you that. And I know that that wasn't a part of the cards for you. Tragedy struck, your grandma raised you. You had an aunt that took care of you, found out there was family secrets and your aunt really is your mom or your. I mean, guys, we live in a fallen world. You were adopted or you don't even know, you've been fending for yourself since you were whatever it is. What if God said, says, I'm the one that will restore the years that the enemy has stolen from you. Today, if you know you want to be sober in your soul, would you lift your hands? I'm just going to pray a prayer over you. Father, in the name of Jesus, we need your hand to touch our soul, souls, Father, God, we want to be transformed. But this is tender. This is stuff we ain't never even thought about. Father God, and talked about. And we need you to do a work on the inside of us, Father God, that allows us to know that we are seen by you, that we are safe in you, that we can be soothed and cared for with you, Father. And that we are secure and there's nothing that can break our relationship today. Father God, would you give us the relational restoration that we need? Come on. Right there, Father. Everything I didn't receive from an earthly parent or earthly caregiver, Father God, today I thank you. Everything I didn't receive in my first marriage or my relationship today, God, God, I'm asking you. Fill in every hole in my soul, Jesus. In the name of Jesus. I feel. I feel that, Father. Fill in every hole in my soul, every vacancy, every cavern, every place, Father God, where I've been trying to perform to receive what you give freely. In the name of Jesus, fill every hole that is in my mind, will and emotions. Today I declare restoration. It is why you came, Jesus. To seek and save those who were lost. Do the work that no man can do. Who. I feel the presence of God in this place, y'. All. And we surrender. So take my heart and mold it Take my mind, transform. This is your prayer. Take my will, conform it to. To yours. Come on. Would you just lift your hands? We're about to leave, but just. Just tell God, take my heart and mo it and take my mind, transform it Hey, I want to be more like you. Take my wheel and conform it said to yours, to yours oh Lord, just one more time Lift your hands Real said take my heart and mold it Said take my mind, change me, God Transform it and take my will. I feel your presence, God. If you are in this room and you've never accepted Jesus, this is the first step to getting your relational foundation restored. Because your soulmate is as God. So he sent Jesus so you and him could get back in right relationship with no pastor, no priest, no prophet, just you and him. And all you got to do, according to Romans 10 and 9, is confess that he is God and he died on the cross from you, and you will be saved. Now, the rest of it, he's going to help you with. He's the only one. If you give him your heart, he'll help you change your habits. And that's good news for us because if we could do it on our own, we would all already done it. But today, the Savior, our friend, our Father, wants relationship goals with you. So whether you're in this room or you're watching online, or you're watching from a jail cell. Today is the day of salvation. And I'm telling you, the reason this is so important to me is because the thing that took me from being a liar, a manipulator addicted to pornography, and put me in a place to be in relationship, relationship with God, so that I could become a progressing man, not a perfect one. And today I stand here before you saying, this is the greatest one decision I've ever made, to put my life in the hands of the one who manufactured me, the Creator. And I want to give you a chance. Church, I need y' all to pray right now because there are people whose lives are in the balance right now. On the count of three, if you want to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and savior, whether you're in this room or you're watching right now, on the count of three, I want you to shoot your hand up and you're not going to confess everything to me. I believe one day you're going to get in a tribe and get around good community and you're going to confess because that's where healing is going to come, according to John. But today you're saying, I want Jesus. One, you're making the greatest decision of your life. Two, I'm telling you your eternity will be secure and your name will be written in the Lamb's book life. If you want to receive Jesus and get into relationship, three, shoot your hand up in this place all around. I see you back there. I see you right there. I see you over there. Transformation Church, I see you. And more than I see you, God sees you. Glory to God. And for every person that made that decision at Transformation Church, we're a family. Nobody prays alone. So would everybody just lift their hands and pray? Pray this prayer for the benefit of those that are coming to Christ. Say, God, thank you for seeing me, soothing me, securing me, and making me safe. Today I give you my life. I believe that Jesus died just for me. And today I repent and I turn to you. Change me, renew me, transform me. I'm yours forever. In Jesus name, Amen. Can we celebrate, y'? All? I need the biggest shout of the day. All of heaven is rejoicing over one that comes to Christ. Welcome to the family. Hey, listen, if you just prayed that prayer, as the altar workers come to the front, if you prayed that prayer, I want you to text SAVE to 828282. We want to send you some information and walk with you and let you know that God is about to transform your life and Listen to me. If you know there's some deep work, some deep rooted stuff that is happening in your heart right now and you need agreement in prayer, I want you to come up for prayer. The worship team is going to sing for just a few more minutes and if you're watching online, do not log off. I'm gonna come pray for you personally. I'm gonna go to the back and I'm gonna pray for you. So start putting your prayer request in the chat right now. Today is a day of healing. Today God is gonna sober you in your soul. And as we move from this place, I'm telling you, let God continue do the work on you all week. Don't just put anything in this week. Stay open so that he can do the work in you. Amen. I said amen. Could you just lift your hands on your way out one more time and say, take my heart? Say, take my heart.

[Transformation Church Podcast Host]

Thank you for joining us today. If you said that prayer and accepted Jesus into your heart, it's the best decision you could ever make. We want to celebrate with you and we have some tools to help you on your journey. Text saved to 828282 and to find out more about TC Text connect text to 828282 be sure to subscribe and share this podcast with your friends. Thanks for listening. Now go out and live a transformed life.