Dumbfoundead & Jason Cheny UNLOCKED

Summary

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

“Dumbfounded & Jason Cheny UNLOCKED” (January 27, 2026)

Guests: Tisa Chang (Dumbfounded), Jason Cheny
Hosts: Khalyla Kuhn, Esther Povitsky (referred throughout transcript as "Kila")

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Trash Tuesday centers on themes of identity, self-acceptance, and the dynamics of family, both biological and chosen. Joined by comedians and friends Jason Cheny and Tisa Chang (Dumbfounded), hosts Khalyla and Esther blend unfiltered humor with frank talk about culture, insecurity, and personal growth. The conversation veers from sports metaphors to celebrity family feuds, immigrant upbringings, and navigating adulthood as Asian Americans in Los Angeles. The playful banter, vulnerable admissions, and wild digressions create a rich episode that’s part support group, part roast, always refreshingly “trash.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Unlocked Potential, Coaches, and Self-Doubt (03:01 – 13:41)

• Esther’s “sports topic” becomes a metaphor: Esther raises a story about college football coach Curt Cignetti turning a losing team around, using it to muse about needing a “life coach” to unlock her own potential. This prompts the panel to reflect on guidance, motivation, and whether anyone’s “fully unlocked.”
  • “Maybe what’s missing for me in my life is I just need a good coach.” – Kila/Esther (05:44)
• Skepticism towards life coaching: Jason questions the validity of life coaches; others agree that while inspirational coaching is Hollywood gold (Ted Lasso), real change needs more than just a cheerleader.
  • “I think anyone can be like, here, you know, let me coach you into what?” – Bobby Lee (07:28)
• “Unlocking” and “corners”: The group shares the areas of their lives they feel are locked away, from Khalyla’s thwarted surfing dreams to creative ambitions stifled by upbringing or self-doubt.
  • “I have compartments I feel like have been like really like tucked away because of trauma.” – Bobby Lee (08:50)
  • “I feel like there are dark corners...that could really be unlocked.” – Bobby Lee (09:00)

2. Extroversion, Failure, and Learning to Be Bad (09:54 – 13:41)

• From “Conga Line people” to party extroverts: Dumbfounded reflects on becoming more introverted with age, envying those who jump straight into fun.
  • “I envy the conga line people, because the goofs have the most fun.” – Bobby Lee (10:39)
• Alcohol as a social crutch: Khalyla reveals that much of her perceived extroversion in her 20s was just masking social discomfort with drinking (11:35).
• Advice on failure: Esther play-therapizes Khalyla, encouraging her to “go fail” intentionally to build comfort with imperfection.
  • “You need to go fail. Even if it’s just drawing a bad picture...” – Kila/Esther (12:22)
  • Bobby Lee responds: “My whole life I’ve been told I was a failure.” (12:48)
• Performing and the agony of standup: Bobby Lee and others discuss being pushed into standup—how for some, being seen and perceived on stage is torture, not thrill.

3. Family Dynamics: The Beckham-Peltz Drama (19:53 – 29:27)

• Celebrity family discord triggers deep discussion: The drama between Brooklyn Beckham (son of David and Victoria Beckham) and wife Nicola Peltz’s families ignites talk on loyalty, cutting off parents, and unhealthy mother-son dynamics.
  • “What would it take for you to be like, I don’t want to talk to my parents anymore?” – Bobby Lee (25:19)
  • “When it’s mom versus wife, the wife usually wins.” – Kila/Esther (26:02)
• Is going public ever justified? Debate over Brooklyn’s choice to air grievances on Instagram versus handling issues privately.
  • “If you’re seeing your son is pained by something, you fix it internally.” – Bobby Lee (27:29)
• Cultural elements: Tisa bridges the conversation to Korean and royal British cultural expectations of piety, respect, and family branding.

4. Sex & Insecurity: Broad Shoulders, Tattoos & Sweat (40:55 – 46:47)

• Body insecurities in the bedroom: Khalyla vulnerably shares her chronic insecurity about her broad swimmer shoulders, revealing how constant comments impacted her sense of femininity.
  • “At any given time...they felt the need to remind me about my broad shoulders...when it’s time to have sex, I think of myself as just this big back dude.” – Bobby Lee (40:55)
• Tattoos and regret: Dumbfounded recounts having “Koreatown” tattooed and later removed due to acting roles and dating criticisms, highlighting changing self-image (44:21).
• Sweat and quirks: Jason hilariously reveals his methods for catching armpit sweat during sex (45:23), prompting a discussion of bodily quirks.

5. Bathroom Habits & Gender (47:01 – 49:38)

• Jason’s viral bathroom confession: Jason describes straddling the toilet to pee, finding it more “efficient”—sparking laughter, but also a serious question about why sitting to pee is stigmatized for men.
  • “I sit down and I face the toilet. Straddle it.” – Jason Chen (47:59)
  • “Who invented standing to pee? Sitting is cleaner.” – Bobby Lee (48:28)
  • “Thank God—it’s called sitzpinkler in Germany!” – Bobby Lee (49:35)
• **The group compares bodily habits and gender expectations, highlighting how even small personal choices can feel fraught.

6. Memoir, Immigration Stories & Assimilation (50:12 – 56:38)

• Tisa’s forthcoming memoir “Spit: A Life in Battles”: Storytelling turns poignant as Dumbfounded details his new book, which chronicles his mother smuggling him across the Mexican border at age three, his LA upbringing, and family trauma.
  • “[My book] just follows, you know, my childhood all the way up...to where I was battle rapping...It’s a memoir.” – Tisa Chang (49:42)
  • “I interviewed my mom, and this was the longest convo I’ve ever had with her ever.” – Tisa Chang (50:48)
• Therapy and cultural stigma: Difficulty encouraging immigrant parents to seek therapy is discussed, with both Bobby and Tisa sharing stories about their moms and the cultural taboo against discussing feelings with strangers.

7. Immigrant Assimilation, Fob Guilt & Standup Comedy (56:38 – 60:38)

• The 1.5-generation “in-between”: Both Jason and Khalyla recount immigrating to the US as teens and not feeling fully “of” either culture.
  • “We belong everywhere and nowhere.” – Bobby Lee (55:24)
  • “51% assimilated, 49% still Taiwanese” – Jason Chen (56:24)
• Support and exclusion among Asian communities: Jason shares that when he was bullied, only his Korean friends helped him—not other Taiwanese kids. The struggles and bonds among immigrant kids are dissected with warmth and humor.
• Dark humor about death: Jason describes his “suicide bucket list”—which included standup—leading to conversation about mental health and the healing power of expression.
  • “I wanted to kill myself...but I wanted to do three things: get a motorcycle license, white water raft, and do standup.” – Jason Chen (58:04)
  • “I think coming here at that weird tweeny age...it was just survival.” – Bobby Lee (60:50)

8. 2016 v. Today: The “10-Year Challenge” and Nostalgia (62:25 – 73:29)

• Hosts and guests react to the viral “10-Year Challenge” social trend: Esther resists, calling it “sad.” Discussion touches on how looking back at photos is both comforting and painful, especially with personal and political changes since 2016.
  • “I hate it. I think it’s weird. I think it’s sad. And I’m not into it.” – Kila/Esther (62:10)
• Fashion, feelings, and shifting self-image: The panel shares photos, critiques past outfits, and reflects on how self-perception has evolved—or not.
  • “My arms were toned...I had abs that were just unstoppable.” – Bobby Lee (66:15)
• Love, heartbreak, and the passage of time: Old photos of Khalyla with ex Bobby inspire bittersweet reflection on how things change but friendships can persist.

9. Plugs and Goodbyes (73:29 – End)

• Dumbfounded’s memoir "Spit: A Life in Battles" available for pre-order; Jason Cheny’s standup tour promoted.
• Live show notice in LA, Comedy Store (for reference; omit details in summary).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On “Unlocking” Ourselves:
  “I have compartments I feel like have been really tucked away because of trauma, so I have a very low level of self-belief.”
  — Bobby Lee, (08:50)

• On Life’s “Corners”:
  “What is something that has not been unlocked in you?”
  — Jason Chen, (08:09)

• The great debate on family drama:
  “If you're seeing your son is pained by something, you fix it internally...I want to do whatever it takes to get us back together without you having to go nuclear.”
  — Bobby Lee, (27:29)

  “I do think the wife usually wins.”
  — Kila/Esther, (26:02)

• “Trauma Comedy” & Performance:
  “To be up there with a mic and to be perceived and seen is absolute torture for me. You're crazy, dude.”
  — Bobby Lee, (13:10)

• On Sitting to Pee and Norms:
  “I sit down and I face the toilet. Straddle it.”
  — Jason Chen, (47:59)

  “Who invented standing to pee? Sitting is cleaner.”
  — Bobby Lee, (48:28)

• On Parental Affection and Insecurity:
  “If it’s something your parents do, then it’s no longer a thing you want to inhabit.”
  — Bobby Lee, (30:33)

  “I think I know that, but in my head, I can’t…like, sink into my feminine self because I constantly think about my broad ass shoulders.”
  — Bobby Lee, (41:40)

• Jason’s Accidental America:
  “51% assimilated, 49% still Taiwanese.”
  — Jason Chen, (56:24)

• Memoir Motivation:
  “I interviewed my mom, and this was the longest convo I’ve ever had with her ever.”
  — Tisa Chang aka Dumbfounded, (50:48)

• On Asian American “in-between”:
  “We belong everywhere and nowhere.”
  — Bobby Lee, (55:24)

• Comedy as Therapy (Darkly):
  “I wanted to kill myself...but I wanted to do three things: get a motorcycle license, white water raft, and do standup.”
  — Jason Chen, (58:04)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Time | |---------|---------------| | Sports, Coaches, & Unlocking | 03:01 – 13:41 | | Extroversion & Failure | 09:54 – 13:41 | | Beckham Family Drama | 19:53 – 29:27 | | Sex & Insecurities | 40:55 – 46:47 | | Bathroom Habits | 47:01 – 49:38 | | Memoir & Immigration | 50:12 – 56:38 | | Assimilation & Standup | 56:38 – 60:38 | | 10-Year Challenge/Nostalgia | 62:25 – 73:29 | | Plugs/Outro | 73:29 – End |

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Tone and Language

The tone is deeply conversational, irreverent, and explicitly candid. There’s a constant back-and-forth between heartfelt confession, self-aware mockery (“I feel like I’m just a big back dude”), and mutual ribbing. The comedians’ ability to move between light, absurd topics and raw vulnerability defines the episode’s appeal for fans.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you missed this episode, you missed a smartly chaotic, astutely funny round table of comedians opening up about life, failure, cultural identity, and the weirdness of family. The gags about bathroom habits and body insecurities are as memorable as the moving stories about immigrant parents and carving out a creative space as an outsider. You’ll find yourself laughing—and relating—whether you’re an old-school slug or a new “Trash Tuesday” listener.

Transcript

[Jason Chen]

This is one weird thing that I do is that when I pee, most of the time I face the toilet. I sit down and I face the toilet.

[Bobby Lee]

So you straddle like a. Like. Like a lady on top.

[Jason Chen]

And then I put a. I put a hand over to. For, like, for comfort and support.

[Tisa Chang]

You Magic Mike the toilet and shit?

[Kila]

Yeah. Wow. Tomorrow is a huge day. Huge in Los Angeles.

[Bobby Lee]

My first night out in two years.

[Kila]

That is crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

I haven't been out in two years, you guys. But tomorrow I'm making an exception.

[Kila]

I am actually suspicious. Like, how is this gonna work?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna go full ratchet. I'm ready. I've been raring to go.

[Kila]

Wednesday, January 28th. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, Los Angeles. The Comedy Store, the live show. It's almost sold out. We have special guests.

[Bobby Lee]

Her belly will be out. Possibly Jenna's tits will be out. Things will be out.

[Kila]

Have a lot of audience interactions. Too much.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe way too much.

[Kila]

You guys will see you tomorrow night at the comedy store at 8pm get tickets at the link below. You know, we have a Patreon.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it's the funnest place to be. I think you guys are missing out. If you haven't already signed up for the Patreon.

[Kila]

And every week when we do edit these episodes, we go. Okay, you know what? I shouldn't have shared that. Guys, that's going to the Patreon. Okay? Patreon. Only because I'm too self absorbed to cut it completely. But it's got to be in a.

[Bobby Lee]

Safe space, limited audience.

[Kila]

And if you join now, you will get instant access to a backlog of a year's worth of bonus content. So if you're just like, I gotta have a really great weekend this weekend. Join us on the [e-mail] Trash Tuesday podcast.

[Bobby Lee]

Today we have. Very funny Jason Cheney.

[Jason Chen]

Thank you. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not your actual real name though, right?

[Jason Chen]

Oh, no. Jason Chen. 10. I first immigrated. They assigned you roommates? I went to army and Navy Academy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

They assigned me a black roommate, and he just called me Cheny Chen Chen. And then I was just like, oh, and also, there's too many Chinny chin chin. I don't know if it was that.

[Tisa Chang]

No, that sounds like that's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

But what is Chinny Chin Chin?

[Bobby Lee]

Chinny Chin Chin is from Red Riding Hood.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. It's part of what the wolf says, right?

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, okay. I didn't even.

[Jason Chen]

My first time hearing It.

[Bobby Lee]

No one ever said, hey, that sounds familiar.

[Jason Chen]

No, never. Not a.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think it was just a racial slur?

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, I said it wasn't a black thing at all. It's Robin Hood, which is not necessarily a black thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Repeat guest, mayor of Koreatown in my movie, Drugstore June.

[Kila]

That's the actor and writer. Writer Drugstore June, now streaming on Amazon. And he has a new podcast and.

[Bobby Lee]

A book coming out.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, the new podcast, Homeroom. That's why we're talking about Homeroom.

[Kila]

It's called Homeroom.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Tisa Chang]

Stephanie, Rick. Yeah, same crew.

[Bobby Lee]

Same crew. Love you guys. Dumbfounded.

[Kila]

Hey, Liam, what's your book called?

[Tisa Chang]

Bit.

[Kila]

You guys, I have. What? You will be so shocked. Everyone will be shocked. I have a sports topic.

[Bobby Lee]

Ew. I know. You're a fraud. She hates sports. I know.

[Kila]

I promise you it'll, like, come back around to being about me, but no. And I'm also pregnant with a boy. Like, what is it? The transformation is already taking over.

[Bobby Lee]

You have testosterone in you. You have a little dick in you.

[Kila]

That's. Why do you have to call it little?

[Bobby Lee]

Because, I mean, if it was big, it would be a problem that would be so disturbing.

[Kila]

Wait, do you guys like sports at all?

[Bobby Lee]

Me?

[Kila]

Trying to, like, get along with two men?

[Tisa Chang]

No, no, no. Like, to be honest, I'm not a huge sports person either.

[Kila]

Okay.

[Tisa Chang]

Like, I watch some sports. Yeah. But.

[Jason Chen]

I never really know.

[Kila]

Okay.

[Jason Chen]

Athlete, though.

[Kila]

Oh, you look.

[Bobby Lee]

You look.

[Kila]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, I want to say that.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you look like you'd be an athlete.

[Jason Chen]

I look like it, but I'm not. That's why I always want to say that I'm an athlete.

[Bobby Lee]

But you play nothing.

[Jason Chen]

No.

[Kila]

How do you look like an athlete without being an.

[Jason Chen]

You work out.

[Tisa Chang]

You work out a lot.

[Jason Chen]

I work out. But what is, you know, like.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's what I always say about my mom. No, but, you know, that's what I say about my mom. She's so just yoked and perfect, but she's just a gym rat. I'm like, what do you even. I was like, that's decorative.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, it's decorative.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, what can you actually do decorative athlete?

[Jason Chen]

It doesn't work. It just looks like it does what it is.

[Kila]

Okay, so this is about college football, which is literally my least favorite sport of all time, because I went to a Big Ten school, and I absolutely hated nothing more than how much attention and adoration the football team got at our school. Right? Like, they were the stars. And I was like, guys, I'm an actress. Like, I don't think you understand. Like you should. I should be getting all this love and adoration, whatever, like I'm famous. But I wasn't. Anyways, so there's this team, college football team in Indiana, but they're like, shitty, right? They suck. And they get this new coach two years ago and his name is Curtis Signetti. And he's never like, he's just.

[Bobby Lee]

Is Dave in your ear right now? You have an earpiece. Curtis Signetti and this T. Like he.

[Kila]

Literally signs on to coach this horrible team, right? Like they, they've just historically sucked. This guy is in a press conference two years ago, this coach, and they're like, what's your plan? You know, because like, this team sucks. There's what they're insinuating. And he just goes, it's simple. I win. Google me. And everyone's like, okay. And then two years ago, as of yesterday, they won all the champ. The, the championship.

[Tisa Chang]

Damn.

[Kila]

And for me, I'm like, what does this say to me about my life? And I'm going to tell you, like, maybe you can be a bad player and you can be and short and weak and lazy, but it's about your coach. Like, maybe what's missing for me in my life is I just need a good coach.

[Jason Chen]

Were they bad?

[Kila]

Yeah, they were bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Were they bad or did they just have bad coaching and leadership and guidance and a non belief in themselves?

[Kila]

Well, clearly, I mean, that's the turnaround. But like they should have been better.

[Jason Chen]

Are they the same people on the team or do they change, like everybody?

[Kila]

I mean, I think they change a little here and there, but like, I guess from what I hear when like a team is bad, like, yeah, it's like they're bad.

[Tisa Chang]

So you mean like life coaching? Like if we had some good, like.

[Kila]

Life coaching, like, maybe we need coaches.

[Bobby Lee]

Like a Ted Lasso. Basically. The story you're telling is the premise of Ted Lasso.

[Kila]

Oh no, really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, that's exactly it. Here's. Yeah, he's American football coach, he goes to the uk, he says, I know nothing about the sport, but I have a certain like, ethos and a belief. And he has a certain coaching style.

[Jason Chen]

I like that.

[Bobby Lee]

And then he takes them to the top, but the players are already stars. I mean, they're already at a level like college football is already at a level that you can't just be like a walk on or just be like, hey, I'm going to coach you to stardom. Like, that doesn't you still have to.

[Tisa Chang]

Have something that they can unlock.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, exactly.

[Tisa Chang]

Like, if you don't have that, then there's nothing to unlock.

[Kila]

Are you guys saying I don't have anything to unlock?

[Bobby Lee]

Why don't you try out for that team and see if he can turn you into something?

[Kila]

You're really just raining on my parade today.

[Tisa Chang]

I have friends who have, like life coaches and stuff. Like, but I just feel like they're caught up in some pyramid scheme or something.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Because life coaching, I think is an absolute scam. Yeah, I'm sorry. To all the great life coaches there. I think that it is a pyramid scheme and I think anyone can be like, here, you know, let me coach you into what?

[Jason Chen]

But it worked for that team.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's actual technical coaching.

[Kila]

Thank you, Jason. Yeah, my best friend is here representing me.

[Tisa Chang]

But they can, like run fast or strong. You just have. They just got to be put in the right piece, like, you know, placement and motivation.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. What is something that you feel is, like, has not been unlocked in your body that you could be coached and.

[Jason Chen]

You don't feel unlocked? You do so good. Mother comedian.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, let's start here. What do you think you can be? What is something that has not been unlocked in you?

[Jason Chen]

My shit. This is my full potential. Everything is unlocked. I'm a free bird.

[Kila]

But you. But you said, like, I feel like for you, you look like an athlete.

[Jason Chen]

Like, but I'm not, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. For instance, someone's like, okay, I come in. I'm like, you know what, dude, I think we can play rugby.

[Jason Chen]

And I go, I promise you injure. First game.

[Bobby Lee]

Snap both ankles.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. Both of them at the same time.

[Bobby Lee]

First step.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. First step is over. I'm fragile. I don't look like I'm fragile, but. Yeah, but that. You don't feel like you're unlocked, though. Do you feel like you're unlocked?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not unlocked.

[Jason Chen]

You're not.

[Bobby Lee]

I have compartments I feel like, have been like really like tucked away because of like, trauma. So, like, I have a very low level of self belief.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, low level, Low level.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, I have some self belief in some things and low in others. And I feel like there are dark corners over here that could really be like.

[Jason Chen]

Can we talk about you guys? Corners?

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your. What's the corner?

[Jason Chen]

You brought it up. What was the corner that you didn't think?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Kila]

Like, I think that it's really hard to answer, like universally for me myself right now because I'm pregnant. So I'm so miserable and I'm like, locked away.

[Jason Chen]

You don't look good, though.

[Kila]

Thank you so much.

[Tisa Chang]

You're glowing.

[Kila]

Thank you. Oh, my God. It's really just the lighting.

[Bobby Lee]

It's.

[Kila]

We're lit for to be ugly women in here. It's very nice. I feel like I get into zones with my stand up where I'm like, in the zone, you know, and then it can fall away. So I'd love to just, like, stay unlocked in that zone and really, like, get. But I just kept having babies and that's gonna stop, though.

[Jason Chen]

No, I feel.

[Tisa Chang]

I feel that way. Like, there was a time I felt, like, fully unlocked and I'm just like, oh, now I'm in the zone, like, throughout my 20s, and I'm like, rapping, battle rapping. I'm confident. And then, like, I get. I got older and I just started, like, tucking myself back in and locking the door. You know what I'm saying? So it is like I've gone through, like, a little roller coaster of that from, like, extroverted to introverted shy. Like, I've gone introverted more as I gotten older, actually. It's kind of crazy. And then I also like being around extra, like, extroverted energy. And, you know, like, certain friends of mine, like, they're so extroverted, you know, go to, like, an event and they're starting a conga line and. And I'm like, yo, what the. I'm not going to join in on this. You know, it's like, it. It gets.

[Bobby Lee]

I really do envy the conga line people, because the cooks have the most fun. Like, I don't surf, but I. I have friends that do, and they're always, like, on bad surfers. But I always look at the bad surfers and I'm like, they look like they're having a blast. So I like. I like conga line people because I could never be conga line people.

[Jason Chen]

If you guys get reincarnated, would you want to be a conga line person or would you want. Yeah, you would.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to be blissfully happy and stupid and unaware and not tapped in and not an overthinker and not someone who, like, has to think about every step that I take. Like, like, analytically. I just want to. I want to exist and be dumb. I just take up space for no reason.

[Tisa Chang]

But I go with them to the thing knowing that they're gonna do that because it kind of brings me out of my shell.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

So I won't say, like, no and just Stay in. You know, I still go, you know, which it kind of a step, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I think you do need the conga line, people. Like, I have friends I intentionally, like, seek out because they're so opposite of me and I'm so, like, inspired and I, like, light up around them. So. Yeah. But I know that feeling of, like, being an extrovert. All of my 20s, I thought I was an extrovert, and it turns out I was, like, faking it the whole time because I was just an alcoholic.

[Jason Chen]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm just a party girl who just. I'm just loaded. And I was just.

[Tisa Chang]

And, yeah, that helps.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And. But then it turns out once I stopped drinking, I was like, oh, I don't like to, like, leave the house, like, at all. No wonder why I drank.

[Tisa Chang]

So that's why I started drinking again.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

I was sober for two years, and then I was like, damn, this is boring. And I got started drinking again, but now I gotta find a balance.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a fine line there. Yeah.

[Kila]

If I was your therapist, which, hello, welcome to hell, I would assign you the homework of, like, you need to go fail. You need to, like, feel failure. Like, even if it's just, like, drawing a bad painting, like, picture or something, like, I think you need to, like, do things that are bad and be okay with it.

[Jason Chen]

You're not even unlocked, brother.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I said, welcome to hell.

[Bobby Lee]

I think my whole life I've been told I was a failure. That's the problem. I don't think I need to go fail at more things. Like, everything that I attempted to do as, like, a child was never good enough or never got, like, the pat on the back. So, I mean, I will try. I'll go try to be really, really bad at something. But I don't know.

[Kila]

I guess because Bobby made you do stand up and it. And was that bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, it was terrible, but I wasn't bad. You know what I mean? I like. I know how to write. I'm not an idiot. And so. But he made me do it over and over again. It felt like a failure because I just don't enjoy going up there. That's not a thrill for me. I don't. It felt like, honestly, being waterboarded, I was like, this is torture. This is. Why do people do this? Why do you guys do that? It's crazy. Like, to be up there with a mic and to be perceived and seen is, like, absolute torture for me. You're crazy, dude.

[Tisa Chang]

I love stand Up. But I hate when Bobby does that shit. Like, everyone should do stand up. You know, he's going to fucking the maintenance guy. Do stand up. Do stand up. Everyone doesn't need to do stand up, you know? I know.

[Kila]

It's like someone who just tried, like, really good cake. They're like, please try this. Like, it's so good. It's changed.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like.

[Jason Chen]

No, I. I'm still curious about you guys's corners.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, let's talk about it. That's one of my corners is something so dumb. But I really think if I had been taught correctly, I could have been a really good surfer.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, surfer. But you. You deep sea dive, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I dive. So I'm like, such a water person, but that's like a blind spot. Everyone assumes. I surf. I don't surf.

[Jason Chen]

What do you want to do surfing, though?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. It's just something I feel like I could have been good at. Oh, that's so. That's one corner.

[Jason Chen]

But you. You enjoy it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I do enjoy it. I like being in the ocean, period.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Another corner that I feel like I. I'm too afraid to tap into. When I was in the second grade, I thought I was gonna be a filmmaker because my dad did, like art direction. He was, like, in film for a couple years. And so, like, I thought that I was like, oh, I'm gonna direct one day, but I can never say it out loud. So I tucked that little corner in and I let her die. And.

[Jason Chen]

But why not just do it with the iPhone thing, you know? I mean. Yeah, have to be grand.

[Bobby Lee]

But, you know, it's. It's one of those things that I just could. It could never get past iPhone or TikTok.

[Tisa Chang]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? Or not even.

[Jason Chen]

You could rent a camera guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me borrow.

[Jason Chen]

I can be the DP and you can direct.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't have a corner, dude.

[Jason Chen]

Everything is a corner for me.

[Tisa Chang]

I'll say I've done everything I've wanted to do. Like, there's no thing that I'm just like, I've always wanted to. No, I've done it. You know what I mean? And, like, whether it's, like, bad or positive or whatever.

[Jason Chen]

Was like a one that you were afraid to do and then you did it, or were you not afraid?

[Tisa Chang]

I think I've just. I. I'm afraid to. I've done everything, but I feel like I can push myself further into the thing, and that's where, like, the fear, like, stops me or Something.

[Jason Chen]

What is that thing?

[Tisa Chang]

To the extent of how far I can go in that one field. You know what I'm saying? So it's, like, always been, like, underground to, like, you know, pushing myself further, like, bigger. Doing a bigger version of the thing. I think is where I get stopped, you know, I don't know. So a certain fear that kind of stops me from it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

Like, the potential is there. I haven't reached my full potential in the thing.

[Jason Chen]

So your corner is like a smaller corner.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I feel like that's super relatable. Like, what? Do you have corners?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, I can't think of one right now. Probably, like, athletic stuff. Probably. Yeah, probably. Or every. Everything, like, I stand up. Yeah, everything. Stand up. Penis size? No, I don't know. Like, everything. Yeah, yeah, all the corners.

[Kila]

I feel like, though, there is a thing with especially, like, artists, creatives, I don't know, like, where we always feel like we're not doing enough, and then that's its own, like, negative thing, where we have to also just be like, no. I mean, everyone feels that, like, that's like, the American culture is like, you're not doing enough.

[Bobby Lee]

I think that just some parts of yourself are not necessarily, like, watered well when you're younger. Like, for me, I was just primed to be, like, a. Just an athlete. I wasn't really allowed to do anything, like, in the arts or nothing, anything like that. I was just athlete, swimmer. That's it. That's it. And so when you get older, you're like, oh, but I can do this. And then your parents are like, no, you can't.

[Jason Chen]

But do you. You want to do that, though? Because you said that you like to surf, and then you surf and enjoy it. But then, because in your head, you want to be, like, competitive, like, the top echelon of.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to be a competitive surfer, Jason. I just want to be, like. I want to be adequate. I want to be out in the lineup and just, you know, surf waves consistently.

[Tisa Chang]

That's easy.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

The hardship is the competitive surfing, like, no way.

[Bobby Lee]

It's just easy, you guys.

[Tisa Chang]

The surfing is hard. I just did it for the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

Not one time.

[Jason Chen]

And then you're like, you're good.

[Kila]

Wait.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Can't you surf?

[Bobby Lee]

Not well. That's the thing. It's like that. That's such a misconception.

[Kila]

Everyone assumes this.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. Right now.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys are right. From my little Altadena home all the way to El Porto, and I'm going to practice every day.

[Jason Chen]

What's stopping you, though. I know. Like the baby and career thing. No, but I mean, like, besides that.

[Kila]

What if you go to Hawaii for a month and then do it?

[Bobby Lee]

You think it takes a month to be really good? It takes years.

[Kila]

I think you could get you just somewhere really good.

[Tisa Chang]

I just saw it for the first time, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

You did?

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Was that fun?

[Tisa Chang]

Thailand and. Yeah. I took a surf lesson. You know what? I was disappointing. I thought I would be, like. Like, naturally good at it because I. I skateboarded and stuff early on and, like, damn. And I sucked. And I was, like, kind of worse than a lot of my friends who was with me. It pissed me off because they don't skate or anything.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? The. The people who do really, really well are girls like her little dancers who don't have a lot of weight on them. They can ride any board and they can just walk to the tip of the board. Walk back. Yeah. Float around like little fairies in the ocean.

[Kila]

I would. There's no way. I wouldn't die. Like, I can't swim. I'm terrified of waves. I'm terrified. I not athletic. Like, I would never. Sir. I would probably skydive against my will, really. Before I would surf.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Because at least I'm not gonna, like, be entering into drowning, knowingly.

[Tisa Chang]

Waves are terrifying.

[Kila]

Waves are so. I have nightmares about waves. Like, they're so scary.

[Bobby Lee]

I agree, by the way.

[Kila]

This weekend you went into the cold ocean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The beach was nice.

[Kila]

No, it wasn't.

[Bobby Lee]

It was. It was. It was cold as. Yeah. But why did you do that? No, it's just nice.

[Tisa Chang]

I do that.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

Saturday mornings, Will Rogers beach jump in the water.

[Jason Chen]

Morning.

[Tisa Chang]

Morning.

[Kila]

And it's cold.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, it's. It's cold. But I also cold plunge and do all that shit, so.

[Kila]

Did it hurt?

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't feel great. My ears were, like, really burning after. But it's nice to get in and just, like, give your body a little bit of a shock and then just come out, you know?

[Kila]

I just don't think I could do that.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to ask you guys about family drama, Specifically the Beckhams versus the Pelts.

[Tisa Chang]

I just read. Read up on that this morning, actually.

[Bobby Lee]

Jason, do you know about this?

[Jason Chen]

Can you. Sorry, can you repeat it one more time?

[Kila]

He doesn't look like he knows about.

[Bobby Lee]

You know. You know.

[Jason Chen]

No, it sounded like a book.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know the Spice Girls are.

[Jason Chen]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know who Posh is?

[Jason Chen]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Posh is the one who married David Beckham, a soccer star.

[Kila]

You Know who David Beckham is, right? Yes.

[Jason Chen]

He's amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. And so they had several kids, right?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now their older son married a woman named Nicola Peltz, who comes from a huge man billionaire family.

[Jason Chen]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

And now, like, an actress?

[Kila]

Like a.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, she's very pretty. She's got her own thing going on. And then over the last. They got married. But since the wedding, press has been reporting that there's a huge rift between baby Beckham and his family. And basically. Yeah. And people are, like, speculating what happened there. What happened. They don't speak, they're estranged, blah, blah, blah. But then little baby Brooklyn Beckham then came out and said, my family, basically, they did xyz. They've tried to, like, tell me I couldn't marry my wife. Basically, he's standing with his wife.

[Jason Chen]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

But he's outing his entire family.

[Jason Chen]

I think that's okay.

[Tisa Chang]

No, well. Saying that they're obsessed with the fame and social media, but I. I actually didn't know that his wife was like, also comes from, like, a rich family and all, like, billionaire.

[Bobby Lee]

Billionaire.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, see, I didn't know that part. Like, when I read the thing, I was like. Like, is she being, you know, manipulative or whatever? Like, because he's from, like, a rich family, but she comes from a rich family, too, so why. What's the whole situation? They don't. They don't like her.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, one of the things that he wrote was like, you know, his mom, Victoria Beckham, is a fashion designer.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And in the. On the 11th hour, apparently she was supposed to wear the Victoria Beckham dress for their wedding. And Victoria Beckham, last minute was like, nah.

[Kila]

But that's one side of the story.

[Bobby Lee]

One side. Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

But what's the. Because I'm just so confused about the two. But then they're like, oh, we don't like you, but what's the problem?

[Kila]

Brooklyn and his wife Nicola were, like, getting sick of all the talk in the press about the drama between them. And then he decided to, like, come forward to his Instagram, like, literally, you know, this past weekend, just be like, here's everything. Like, he basically went nuclear on his family.

[Bobby Lee]

And he says, I have. I don't want to reconcile with them. And this is why I don't want to reconcile.

[Jason Chen]

What was the reason? One reason.

[Kila]

Call it if it is only toxic. He said that at his wedding, he was supposed to do his first dance with his wife, but then his mom, like, hijacked the dance and did it instead.

[Bobby Lee]

They had hired Marc Anthony, the Singer for their first dance. Right. And Mark Anthony was like, oh, bring the most beautiful woman on the dance floor, which was supposed to be the bride. And out comes Victoria Beckham, the mom. And. And apparently she's like dancing on him inappropriately.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. I think that when you have so much money and so fam is. I think those it. But it means a lot. Do you. I mean, you have to. Because when you have everything already, it's like there's the first dance. Who's. Mark Anthony is a very famous singer. Yeah, yeah. And a really famous thing. And it's like the wedding. So it's like a really big deal. And then so the mom is like, of course, I'm the queen. She's not gonna let some take a thing. Right?

[Kila]

Toxic boy mom. She's okay here. I feel like think Brooklyn Beckham is 26. And absolutely no disrespect to the 26 year olds in the room. Cover your ears. I think at 26, you're such a child and like, this is just a big mess. And also, what do we always say on this show? Like, the person who needs to speak out first is usually the one that's like, a little crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

But I don't think he spoke out first. What he was saying is that his parents for had been planting stories in, you know, in the press for a while and lies about him. So he's saying they've actually manipulated this whole narrative about the family breakup in their own way without having to actually explicitly come forward. They're doing it in kind of like, you know, this way. So he's like that. I'm gonna go with ig story. And you guys, you guys, I love my wife life.

[Tisa Chang]

I just feel like it's like standard for your parents to like, not like your spouse, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

Is it? I don't. I don't agree with that. No, I don't agree with that at all. And here's what I'll say.

[Tisa Chang]

Like, but the reasons aren't that crazy. It's like, oh, the dress thing, the dance. Like, that's not that crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

But I think that especially. That's her first boy. Right? A lot has to happen that we're not seeing for any young man to cut contact with his family. Like, to go, no contact is so painful even for someone who's 40. Like, imagine at 26, imagine being that young and being like, I don't want a relationship with my mom or siblings anymore. Something big must have happened. Because I don't think any kid just does that to Hurt themselves because it's painful.

[Tisa Chang]

They were close, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Really close. And his siblings, even so. I don't know. I. I think that there is something. Even though I love the Beckhams, I was like, oh, my God, they're so funny. I watched their reality show. I was like. Like, I think this poor kid is really, like, struggling with something, and I think he's telling the truth.

[Kila]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What would it take for you to be like, I don't want to talk to my parents anymore.

[Jason Chen]

It's been like a year.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, it's already started.

[Jason Chen]

It's already started. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It takes a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you're not married, right?

[Jason Chen]

I am married.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you are married. Okay. Say your mom were to be like, I don't like your wife. Her. I sewed this dress for her, but. Sorry, I don't want her to wear it anymore, which is being a. To your wife.

[Jason Chen]

And I go, like, all right, mom, Love you. Bye. See you. See you in like, a couple months or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Okay.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. That's how it would handle. Well, you. You would do it differently if.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's say your wife is privy to your, like, mom talking her. Oh, and then would you, like, be like, mom. You can't talk about her like that.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, I would say that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Thank God.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I do think that in these situations, the wife tends to win. Like, when it's mom versus wife, I think the wife use usually wins.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope so. I hope that my. My son chooses his wife and his family. His job is to leave the roost. I am ancillary. I am his support system if I am there. But I want him to be like a man of his own.

[Kila]

This wants grandchildren.

[Bobby Lee]

I do. And you know what? What makes. I'm gonna assure my insurance that my grandchildren are close to me is that I am kind to his wife, that I love her. A. Come here, you. C. Come here, you. You got a mouth on you, but I love you. Like, that's what. That's my plan of action.

[Kila]

Let's talk about Ace that way.

[Tisa Chang]

Well, this is what's happening right in the comments is like, just people taking, you know, the family side to, like, the wife's side. It's always that two beef. It's like blood is thicker than what? Like that kind of thing. And I saw the comments, and people actually are hating on Brooklyn a lot more.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah. Cuz they're like, look at the sport. Like, you wouldn't be unless your parents.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, he didn't choo that either, though. You Know what I mean? It's like, he didn't sign a contract that says, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna participate in the family brand of it all. Like, that's not a kid's job.

[Kila]

But what is going nuclear publicly against your family? Like, what? I don't know about that.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I don't know. You seem to be defending that a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, because I think that David Beckham and Victoria Beckham are the adults in this, and if they're seeing that their son is pained by something, you fix it internally. And you say, you know, whatever the fuck we've done, I want to remedy and I want to fix, and I want to do whatever it takes to get us back together without you having to go nuclear.

[Jason Chen]

You would do that, though?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. And it's like, that's my son. I want us to be a family. If. Tell me the mistakes I've made and what's hurting you so I can fix it.

[Jason Chen]

But I think, like, in Asian culture, Korean culture, or in maybe like a British England Empire.

[Bobby Lee]

Empire.

[Jason Chen]

Do you know what I mean? They have more of a piety thing. Like a respect kind of thing.

[Tisa Chang]

No, maybe that's what it is. It's like the whole royal family kind of, you know, feel of everything. Because it's like, they're like, it's a brand. This is a royal family kind of thing.

[Jason Chen]

Like, we hate that you up the brand.

[Bobby Lee]

I hate that your kids are not your brand, though.

[Tisa Chang]

You know, He's a brand dude.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't have to participate.

[Tisa Chang]

His name is Brooklyn. He's a brand. Brooklyn Beckham. And that was the least Brooklyn way to handle this. An IG story of, like, my wedding dress. That's the least Brooklyn ever. Dead ass. It really is.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to keep my. My mother lens on. And I would just be like, son, like, I'm sorry, what can I do?

[Jason Chen]

I was wondering what, like a. A male's perspective, like, what would you do if it was your son and then your wife is like, it's my. You know what I mean?

[Tisa Chang]

Well, I'm assuming that he had this crazy wedding because this was funded by his family, right, bro? Nah, Those are the terms, you know what I'm saying? Like. Like, that's the terms of this. What you're getting this wedding.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you're gonna get a drunk mom who's gonna dance up on you.

[Tisa Chang]

Like, there's a couple of, you know, compromises you gotta make. You know what I mean? I mean, I just feel like if you. If you Want to not deal with this shit, Go have some broke ass wedding, some, you know, elope, go somewhere else. Yeah, that is a good 20 person wedding in the backyard. Like go do that shit and you can do whatever you want. You know what I'm saying?

[Kila]

Wait, I actually have a new thought to this. Because if his mom really was dancing up on him like inappropriately for me, my parents like will joke about their sex life in front of me and it, it, I love them, happy for them, but it is a very traumatic thing for me and it makes me very uncomfortable.

[Tisa Chang]

Give an example what they would say.

[Jason Chen]

You never caught them.

[Kila]

One time, I think I walked in on something once. They had this weird special light on that had never been on. I was like, something's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I immediately was like, but they just, I can't even think of it because I've blocked it out. But they'll make these little jokes and they'll be weird and again, happy for them. But it does affect me negatively.

[Jason Chen]

Well, how does you feel when you like, they do like sexual.

[Kila]

It makes me like hate sex. Like, it makes me like so disgusted with the like concept of sex that I just get. It's like why I like turn into this like, prude sometimes. Don't talk about that.

[Bobby Lee]

That makes perfect sense. I know what you mean. Because if it's something your parents do, then it's no longer a thing you kind of want to like inhabit. Yeah.

[Kila]

Like ruins it and it's like traumatic. And I'm not, again, I'm like, not super articulate about it. But it is this weird thing. And I'm wondering if like the Beckhams or like the Posh and David are like hypersexual or something because they're so hot.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, they were both sex symbols in their heyday.

[Jason Chen]

Sure.

[Kila]

And like, I wonder if then like maybe like, oh, people are like, oh, whatever, your mom's dancing on you at your wedding. But that could be like really deeply bad.

[Tisa Chang]

I don't know if this. I'd like to see the footage.

[Kila]

True.

[Tisa Chang]

I, I think everyone would like to.

[Kila]

See the footage, obviously.

[Tisa Chang]

But part of me feels like, yes, I, I agree if there's some hyp. Hypersexual elements or whatever. But also, is he over exaggerating about this dance? You know?

[Kila]

Right.

[Tisa Chang]

I don't know, because he seems a little bit like just one of them kind of kids, like, who's just overdoing this, These explanations, what he's complaining about just seems like, come on, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

I do think that there is something even More systemic that we're not pointing out, which is old money versus new money. And I think that the Pelts are old money billionaires and the Beckham and Posh are like, they were from no money to a lot of money. And there is some type of like, cultural difference there between like the kind of money you come from. Because I think that the wife's. She comes from like, kind of like old regal, not ratchet money. You know what I mean? Like, he's a soccer star and then she, you know, she was a pop star. It's like dirty rich.

[Tisa Chang]

And Brooklyn's getting adjusted to kind of that lifestyle you meet and he's getting embarrassed about his life. Hillbilly, Hillbilly millionaire from the Paris from England.

[Jason Chen]

If like my parents said it, like, I would just laugh. Maybe it's like different because I, I don't feel repelled. If, but if they do like extra physical stuff, then I will feel weird. But if they just say things, I never mind it because they say things. My dad would like, like wear underwear and then he would look at my mom and then he'll point at his penis and then point at my mom and go like this.

[Tisa Chang]

Shoebone. That's crazy. What does shoebong mean?

[Jason Chen]

Like from here to there, aggressively.

[Tisa Chang]

I'm almost sure that's worse than anything her parents have done because that's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Brooklyn, you can have shoe pong.

[Kila]

Okay, that could have been.

[Bobby Lee]

It could have been you.

[Jason Chen]

That's what I'm saying. But he could have had a shoebomb. But my thing is like, that has nothing to do with. That has nothing to do with me though. Like, I'm not going to do a shoebone thing. I'm going to do some other thing.

[Bobby Lee]

But what did you feel when a shoebong happened? Were you just like, haha, my dad.

[Jason Chen]

Would do it to me. He'd be like, shoebong you next. Seriously. And I'm like, a part of me.

[Tisa Chang]

Would feel, feel kind of happy if my parents did make those like, kind of comments to each other. Because I'd be like, oh, they're still. They love each other or something. I think that comes from more of a trauma thing for me because I never grew up where they were like happy with each other at all. Oh, so if I heard a comment like that, I'd be like, oh man, things are looking up.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you hear your parents say like, I love you to each other?

[Jason Chen]

Never once.

[Bobby Lee]

Just, just, just this. Wait. Do your parents say I love you to each other, like openly around you?

[Kila]

They're just like, it's always my dad saying, like, you don't love me to my mom and being like, yes, I do. And then giving him a kiss like this.

[Bobby Lee]

Pulling away.

[Tisa Chang]

That's pretty cute.

[Kila]

That's how she kisses people was like, it's like, how can I kiss you? It's so weird. Really cute.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I think it can go both ways. You can either traumatize a kid with being, like, loving and, like, you know, or it could be what, like you said, which is, it would have been nice to have something to model after.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, my situation was my dad was, like, 36 years older than my mom, so if they did anything that was like, I probably would have not been okay. They did say, I love you a lot. And I like that. There was, like, a lot of acts of affection growing up.

[Kila]

I feel like they didn't get along as much when I was in the house. So I do understand that. Which is almost like, okay, so I was the problem. Like, I left, and now you guys are, like, happily married. Can you explain? Can you elaborate on that?

[Tisa Chang]

Why I should have left earlier?

[Bobby Lee]

Let's talk about sleep. We spend one third of our lives in a bed. And when I tell you guys how important sleep has been for me, especially now that I have a baby, it is sacred time. It is time I do not take for granted. Which means that the mattress that I sleep on has to be close to perfect. So I got a Helix. In fact, every room in my home is a Helix mattress. And if you take the Helix sleep quiz, it matches you with a perfect mattress based on your personal preference and sleep needs. And it makes buying a mattress super easy. For example, I'm a side sleeper, and I'm a hot sleeper. I tend to sweat when I sleep. So when I took the quiz, I got matched with a midnight mattress. But then I upgraded to a luxe version of that, so my mattress was mattress is a little bit more plush. Go to helixsleep.comtrashtuesday for 20 off site wide. That's helixsleep.comtrashTuesday for 20 off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you helixsleep.com trashtuesday this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. If you have a brand, a business, or side hustle, like many of us do, Squarespace is the move. Move. Because, listen, I don't code, so if I can build a website, anyone can. Squarespace makes it so stupid easy, you guys. It's literally drag, drop, you're done. They've got templates, domains, online stores, analytics. Everything you need to look legit, even if you're still figuring it out. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. 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Before we rush into resolutions, the real move is to clear some space. Space therapy can help you do that. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist who can help you see what's been heavy and what you're ready to release. It's a small act that can lead to big relief and real perspective for the year ahead. You can't step into a lighter version of yourself without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] and get 10% off. That's better. H-E-L-P.com you guys already know I'm a huge proponent for therapy. It's not like I went once and journaled. I mean, I've been in therapy for a very, very long time. And what I love about BetterHelp is you can do it from home, on your couch, in your pajamas. You don't have to fight for parking. You don't have to drive anywhere. You can get the help you need from wherever you are. You know how you're like, I don't want to be sexual. You have sometimes that feeling where you're like, ew, I don't want to be sexual. There's always. You want to be caught eating a banana?

[Tisa Chang]

Nah. Come on. I'm secure with my manhood.

[Bobby Lee]

There's always been people in my life because I was a swimmer, right when I was always competitive swimmer and always just this athlete always point out my broad shoulders. At any given time, if there was like a Man in the room or someone else in the room, they felt the need to remind me about my broad shoulders. And there's this, like, little seed that is planted in my head that when it's time to have sex, I think of myself as just this big back dude. And I know it's like. It's hard for me to explain it to, like, my therapist in, like, a. This is an insecurity of mine, but it's the. It's that constant, like, I cannot, like, sink into my, like, feminine self because I constantly think about my broad ass shoulders. Is this stupid?

[Jason Chen]

Oh, no, it's not stupid. That's how you feel. It's okay.

[Kila]

It's stupid.

[Tisa Chang]

Who's from. Who brings it up? You said your parents.

[Bobby Lee]

No, not my parents. Just, like, people in my life or. And it's. I've always just laughed at it where I'm just like, thank God my partner now has, like, Is, like, really big shoulders.

[Kila]

So comparatively, like, explains why he's your partner.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, comparatively, like, I'm like a small damsel in distress compared to him. But, yeah, it was always, like, I felt so, like, brute around, like, dudes, and I hated the way I felt. Like, I was so, so conscious of, like, what I look like from the back because of my wingspan.

[Tisa Chang]

And you can't.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, my lats.

[Tisa Chang]

You can't really do anything with cosmetic surgery for that either. You just gotta.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they do Botox on traps now.

[Tisa Chang]

You could. Oh, you could. You could.

[Bobby Lee]

I could never. I wouldn't do that. Yeah, but, you know, like, it's. This is my frame because I swam for so long, and it's just gonna be my frame forever.

[Jason Chen]

But some guys like it, though. And most guys, I don't think they're like, oh, she's too. Broad shoulder. I can't have sex with her.

[Tisa Chang]

I think I know that.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, I got him. Linebacker over here. Yeah, it's a. I've seen women with that. Hot women, too. You know, it's like, that's not.

[Kila]

You know, Hot women, too.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you. Thank you for understanding. But it's. I. I'm. I want to know if there's anything that in your head, you're just like, God, like, you constantly chronically, like, think about. Nah, everyone's super confident.

[Kila]

I feel. No, no, for sure there is, but I'm just thinking, like, I've never even really noticed that you have broad shoulders. It's just been, like, a joke I've heard. And I'm like, I don't really get it.

[Bobby Lee]

And I keep laughing at it because I. I'm like, hahaha. But it's like, okay, well, yeah, I.

[Kila]

Mean, same with so many things. Like. But I also just feel like that's such a. To me as like a short, little stocky, whatever. I am like, broad shoulders is like feminine ballerina model. Like, I just. It's so interesting how you view things differently.

[Tisa Chang]

We have our things that we focus in on.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

Like guys with hair loss and receding hairline, you know?

[Kila]

Yeah. And I feel bad also almost even saying that because it's like, am I diminishing how you feel? But it is just weird to me that that's this insecurity on you. And I'm like, what is she talking? You know?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's so silly, right? It's so silly.

[Tisa Chang]

I had a thing when I was having sex that I was insecure about was like, when I had, like, Koreatown tatted across my chest because I'd like, you know, I'd mentioned my tat or something to, like, a girl that I went on a date with or something. Like, she's like, really? You got fucking Korea down tatted across her chest and they roast me and we'll hook up or something. And I'm just thinking like, damn. She's seeing this, like, tribal piece on my chest with Koreatown on, you know, And I'm actually getting it removed.

[Bobby Lee]

The whole thing?

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, it's almost done. It's almost, like, fully gone.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Chen]

I liked it though. Yeah.

[Kila]

Bring it back.

[Tisa Chang]

Too late. It's gone. Yeah. Moving out of Korea town too. No. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Does it hurt to get it removed?

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, my God. It hurts ten times worse.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, my goodness.

[Tisa Chang]

This Than getting a tattoo.

[Jason Chen]

They don't.

[Tisa Chang]

It's the worst pain I've ever had.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't put, like, lidocaine?

[Tisa Chang]

No. I don't know. I think it takes longer because you have to wait until the numbing cream, like, settles in.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I feel like you should have just waited it out because, like, honestly, like, for me, I was so insecure about my tramp stamp because it was like art on the wall when I was 16. And I was like, oh, I'll get that on my. Above my ass. But it circled back around. Tramp stamps are, like, cool again.

[Kila]

I want one. They're hot.

[Bobby Lee]

They're hot, right? I mean, mine is so shitty, like, really embarrassing. But I'm like, it.

[Tisa Chang]

Well, my thing was more like acting and, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah. Because it's a huge piece.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

And so I Can't play a dude from Chinatown if I wanted to. It's like I can't distinguish.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, but maybe a dude from Chinatown that is Korean.

[Tisa Chang]

No, no, no, no.

[Kila]

It's done.

[Jason Chen]

Mine's like, I have armpit. I have armpit sweat.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, me too.

[Jason Chen]

No, but then, like, I'll be having sex with my wife.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

And then it would drink drip.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's fine. That's hot. That's not an insu. You shouldn't be.

[Jason Chen]

Not for her.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, you're in the act of physical something and you're sweating from a place that is known to sweat. That's so. Okay.

[Jason Chen]

But it's like dripping. And so a lot of the times I'll wear the inside, but I think your thing is okay too. But my. And then I'll wear. I'll put my shirt. I'll wear a shirt, but then I'll flip it back so that it. It catches.

[Bobby Lee]

It catches. You have armpit. I. I totally feel that pain. So. I have hyperhidrosis. I actually get Botox in my armpits because of that. This. Oh, like my whole life. That's an insecurity of mine with a big back. Wait, am I you? But that right there. That's silly what you're doing.

[Jason Chen]

You didn't like it.

[Bobby Lee]

You think that I'm catching my armpit sweat with. By putting my shirt behind my head like that?

[Jason Chen]

No, no, no. But I mean, like, you got. So you didn't like it either.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't like it. Yeah, I didn't like it. But I'm just saying, like, having sex with a dude who puts. With just like little. Little sleeves on with no is weird.

[Kila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.

[Jason Chen]

I guess.

[Kila]

I don't know. But I think that's fine.

[Tisa Chang]

I can't have sex with like articles of clothing on, like, even socks.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Kila]

You cannot?

[Tisa Chang]

Nah. Like, if I have socks on, like, I'm just have to like. Hold up. I gotta take all my stick off.

[Kila]

Really?

[Tisa Chang]

Like, this doesn't feel hot.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you one of those that has to take all your pants off when you poo?

[Jason Chen]

Oh, yeah, I do that.

[Tisa Chang]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't do all that.

[Jason Chen]

I should.

[Bobby Lee]

Should have known.

[Tisa Chang]

That's crazy. No, that's like on the spectrum right there.

[Jason Chen]

For real. Like, even, like airport bathroom. Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

You have to take all your pants.

[Jason Chen]

But, like, if it's a comfortable bathroom, like, you know, I. I take it.

[Kila]

What if you're at a party at.

[Jason Chen]

My house, I feel like you have a Clean house. I'm taking it off.

[Tisa Chang]

That's.

[Kila]

You're more than welcome to.

[Tisa Chang]

That's wild.

[Bobby Lee]

What if someone takes it?

[Jason Chen]

What do you mean? I put it on the sink. Who's gonna take it?

[Bobby Lee]

Like, if you were like, like just lob it up, you know, and like.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, no, no. Just suffer with clothes.

[Tisa Chang]

It's not at your ankles, you take it off.

[Jason Chen]

If it's like an airport thing, I don't. I just leave it. But then if it's like a comfortable thing, yeah, I take it off.

[Tisa Chang]

But when you piss out the, the stall, your pants aren't at your ankles.

[Jason Chen]

Can I tell you something?

[Tisa Chang]

I just want to make sure that's not going. I've seen some people doing that and I'm like, yo, did you take your shirt off too?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, if I can. If I'm like comfortable. Yeah, yeah, because it's a catch the sweat. You know, this is one weird thing that I do is that when I pee, most of the time I face the toilet. I sit down and I face the toilet, straddle it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what my son does when he's learning to potty train.

[Jason Chen]

It's the best.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so funny.

[Jason Chen]

It's efficient that I do that every.

[Bobby Lee]

Straddle like a, like, like a lady on top.

[Jason Chen]

Yes. And then I put a, I put a hand over to. For like for comfort and support. And then cuz gravity it, it lets your dick and balls like hang in the middle and then you don't have to.

[Tisa Chang]

You Magic Mike the toilet. And.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually really stand. I. I stand by this because like the peeing to stand is. Who invented that? Because I think that sitting down to pee is. The more. Is cleaner is the more correct way. Right.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. And then with. If you live with a girl, they don't have to. You don't have to like put it up or down. So it's just.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think in Germany too, they don't stand to pee over toilets. I think they all stand. Sit the. I. I made this up. Can you look up if the Germans all sit.

[Tisa Chang]

That is the perk of having a dick is like you can pee anywhere you can.

[Jason Chen]

You know, you like splashing.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying on the, on the go though. Yeah, on the go. But yeah, if you're at house and stuff like grab. Take a seat.

[Jason Chen]

Take a seat. Do you take a seat though?

[Tisa Chang]

I have, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Why is that?

[Tisa Chang]

Why I'm uncomfortable like sharing that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

I said to be.

[Bobby Lee]

Why is that viewed as possibly like not Masculine. It's so silly to me because it's just.

[Tisa Chang]

I know, it's like a thing that's ingrained. Yeah, but to be honest, you're at your own crib. Like, take a seat, man. Relax.

[Bobby Lee]

Look, I didn't make it up. The Germans do sit to pee. Thank God it's called Sit Sprinkler.

[Jason Chen]

See? Amazing.

[Tisa Chang]

I love that word, sprinkler.

[Kila]

What can you tell us about your book?

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, my book? It's called Spit A Life in Battles. It just follows, you know, my childhood all the way up until, like. Like my 20s, where I was battle rapping and got. It's a memoir. Yeah, but it only goes up to, like, my mid to, like, little late 20s. Yeah, but it's cool. I had, like, my family legacy, Koreatown, Los Angeles roots, and then me getting into hip hop, battle rapping. Just all my shenanigans as a teenager. And I'm really proud of it. I worked on it for three years.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Kila]

You have, like, a crazy life.

[Tisa Chang]

I don't know. Not if it's crazy.

[Jason Chen]

You came from a container. Container?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, what?

[Tisa Chang]

Tisa came from a container? I mean, yeah, my mom, you know, smuggled me and my younger sister in through the Mexican border illegally to Coyote is like, from Argentina to Mexico and into la. This was when I was three and my sister was one. So there's a lot of that story in there. Early on in the. In the book. And then just growing up in la.

[Kila]

It'S like, is it hard when you're writing a book? Like, are there people where you're like, like, oh, they're not gonna, like, this, like your mom or anything?

[Tisa Chang]

No, like, so I interviewed my mom, and this was, like, the longest convo I've ever had with her, like, ever. And I hired, like, a friend to translate for me because that's always been a problem with communication with my parents. There's a language barrier, so we can't really get in depth with stuff. You know, we've talked about this last time I was here, like, really get to the root of our issues with each other and our family and all of that. And, you know, I've even tried to get my mom into some sort of therapy where it's a Korean speaker and she. She doesn't want to do it because it's not in our culture to share these things with a stranger.

[Bobby Lee]

They found Bobby's mom is in therapy. They found, like, a Korean therapist in Arizona.

[Tisa Chang]

I'd love to get my mom in.

[Bobby Lee]

Something like that, but I know what you mean because my mom. Well, she's on. Thank God. She agreed to be on Lexapro and her life is changing, but we found her a Bisaya therapist. And same as you, where she's just like, you know, it's so like, taboo still to like, why would I share my deepest, darkest with a stranger?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, but she having a good time?

[Tisa Chang]

What?

[Jason Chen]

Who? Your mom.

[Tisa Chang]

A good time in what?

[Jason Chen]

Like, therapy?

[Bobby Lee]

She never. She didn't agree to it.

[Tisa Chang]

I'm trying to get her into therapy. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

You think therapy is a good time?

[Tisa Chang]

My mom can yap, though. She can talk. So I'm like, damn, if she was in that shit. It. You know, I don't even know if the therapist could take it, to be honest. She goes in.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you find out new things about her?

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, her journey. I. I found out new things for sure. Like, I didn't know the details of that trek through Mexico, all the, you know, all that stuff in the desert and what I was like, doing and my sister was doing because we were a kid. We're babies, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

One.

[Tisa Chang]

I was three.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you were three.

[Tisa Chang]

My sister was one. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Tisa Chang]

So that was really interesting to hear. And then also a lot of her. Her stuff with my dad, you know, my dad was like, very violent, alcoholic, and like, he cheated. And it was like a very, like, juicy story about my dad cheating in there. And I felt like it was up and I was like, this is good for the book. Give me more, you know, so there's like some crazy in there about that stuff and then. Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

You appreciate her more?

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, yeah. I mean, she was crying through this, like, talk we were having and stuff, you know, it's amazing I could put like, like my little bit about, like my family legacy in there, you know, but like, doesn't really paint my dad in the best light. So I'm kind of worried too, but I don't think he's gonna read it, so it's fine. He's not gonna read that. Yeah, you could pre order right now. I'm. I'm dead ass trying to make the New York Times bestsellers list. Like, no shame.

[Jason Chen]

Amazon.

[Kila]

And when does it come out?

[Tisa Chang]

April 14th.

[Kila]

It's available for pre order now.

[Tisa Chang]

And it's called Spit, Spit A Life in Battles.

[Bobby Lee]

I love the COVID Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love the blue. So pretty.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, yeah, My friend killed that. And then it has like a lot of my, you know, rap battle stories in there. And I talk about, like, how I kind of found myself and like, like My identity through these rap battles when I was, like, battling a lot of people and they hit me with similar lines. And it made me realize, like, what people's perception of, like, an Asian person is, because you're getting hit with, like, very similar lines every battle. And I was like, oh, okay, so this is what people think of Asian people, you know, at an early age, like, I kind of understood that, you.

[Kila]

Know, that make you almost, like, stronger because you knew what was going to be coming at you.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah. And it made me a little bit more confident and prouder of my heritage and, like, also kind of teaching, showing them more, like, beyond what they may know about us.

[Kila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

It, like, heightened up my wit, humor, everything. The way I talk to people, approach people. Like, if I step in a room with all black kids or all white people or whatever, you know, it's just like. Like, really help me understand all of that. Those relationships. I'm really excited for it. It's going to be sick. Gonna do a book tour and all that.

[Kila]

Oh, my gosh. Okay. That's exciting.

[Bobby Lee]

What about you, Jason?

[Jason Chen]

Why'd you say, like, I got a book coming out, too.

[Bobby Lee]

When did you move here? Because you immigrated, right?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. 14.

[Bobby Lee]

Damn similar to me. Oh, my God, I'm so glad you're a fob like me. 14. 15. Right around there.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

I'm assimilated.

[Bobby Lee]

You are not. You're not. You're like me. You're broken. You're a dirty. Like, me. You're not assimilated. To la.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, San Diego. And then.

[Kila]

Yeah, okay.

[Tisa Chang]

I feel like fobs, especially if you're Asian and come here, like, later, like, around you guys, we're 1.5ers. I think you guys are smarter, you know, Like, I settled into American stupidity, like, early, you know, like, you guys are, like. You guys came through with the. The tradition of, like, you know, really appreciating education and stuff and came here.

[Bobby Lee]

I will say we're kind of like we belong everywhere and nowhere. Because it's like, when there's, like, beef between the first generation, second generation, or even, like, in the Philippines, like, Filipinos versus Filipino Americans. And I always see this beef on Tick Tock and they hate each other, right?

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I see both sides and I understand it really, really well where I'm like, oh, yeah, I get it.

[Jason Chen]

If you have to choose one side. Which one?

[Bobby Lee]

Philippines. All away.

[Jason Chen]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a lot of respect for people back home, dude. Like, I really do. I. I think my childhood was very difficult, but, like, so cool. I Had so much perspective.

[Kila]

Will someone please take the banana peel out of Jason's hand?

[Bobby Lee]

Give it to me. You're gripping it too hard.

[Jason Chen]

You know, I grew. I. I grew comfortable with you.

[Kila]

I can tell. And I don't want that to happen to you.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, but how was your transition here since you fully assimilated?

[Jason Chen]

I would say I'm not fully assimilated.

[Tisa Chang]

No, you have. Have, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

You have. Yeah, you're assimilated enough. I was just trying to on you, cuz I'm not fully assimil. I am fully assimilated.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, you are?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

You're never going back, bro.

[Jason Chen]

No.

[Tisa Chang]

I don't know.

[Jason Chen]

I think I'm like 5149. Maybe like 51. Assimilated. 49. Yeah, maybe there's some like, Taiwanese or just Asian cultures that I still appreciate, but yeah, mostly. Mostly American thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Taiwan is cool though.

[Jason Chen]

You like it?

[Bobby Lee]

I like Taiwan a lot. Everything about Taiwan is cool. It's so small. It's so like, progressive.

[Jason Chen]

One thing I, I don't know why this is on my mind is a negative thing and I'm supposed to say a positive thing, but I feel like Taiwanese people don't really help or stand up for other Taiwanese people.

[Bobby Lee]

Really.

[Jason Chen]

Of course there's a small amount of people that stand up for the Taiwanese, but I think the culture in general is just. They don't, they don't do that. That's why when I first came here, I. I have mostly Korean food friends. Was because, like, when I was getting jumped and getting my ass beat, they. They didn't help me.

[Bobby Lee]

Damn, that's. Were there other Taiwanese people around that could have helped you?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, they're like, looking, looking.

[Tisa Chang]

I'm surprised Koreans helped you. No, I'm just saying, like, you know, they probably thought you were Korean.

[Jason Chen]

I started to make friends with them. They would like, bully me too.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

But then they're like, ah, it's fine.

[Kila]

Well, for me, white people won't podcast with me, so now I'm Asian.

[Tisa Chang]

5 people podcast with you?

[Kila]

I feel like I'm a top 10 Asian podcaster.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Kila]

Like, I have to rank, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

So you've assimilated.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

Welcome to the Asian sphere.

[Kila]

Wait, so how did you then. I know this is like the most annoying question. Like, no one wants to be asked that, but I, I'm so, like, how did you end up in stand up? Like, you came here at such like, later age.

[Jason Chen]

Like, this is so, so hack for to say that. Because I. To want. I wanted, I wanted to Kill myself or whatever. And, and I was like, if I were to kill myself or whatever, what I. What do I. I wanted to do three things and then if I kill myself and then one is like get a motorcycle's license. Because I always. Why'd you laugh like that?

[Bobby Lee]

That's a weird thing.

[Kila]

Like.

[Jason Chen]

Because I wanted to ride like, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Where did you want to ride to?

[Jason Chen]

Like New York maybe. Okay, yeah, like you know, cross country.

[Bobby Lee]

Like Motorcycle Diaries. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Chen]

Eat a baguette.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

I like the open baguette. Yeah, yeah, I see it on Tick tock. And then another one would be white rattle raft.

[Bobby Lee]

White water rafting. Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

And you know, with some friends. That'll be cool.

[Tisa Chang]

Those are the three things.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. And then stand up and then the only reason.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, did you want to kill yourself for real?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, I thought.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, me too.

[Jason Chen]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tisa Chang]

That's a crazy death.

[Bobby Lee]

I was in a psych hospital three times in high school school cuz I kept trying to kill myself. But white water rafting was not.

[Tisa Chang]

You have failed many times.

[Bobby Lee]

You failed at that. The simplest thing.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. And then I was like maybe do stand up and say some stuff. Sal. And then it just. And I didn't do well the first time, but I just like saying stuff and because you say stuff and people listen to it. Cuz most of, most of you, Asian culture, you listen, you know, you listen to your parents or whoever, whatever. Because. Yeah. And schooling is you know, seven to seven and I was a terrible student anyways and. Yeah. And I didn't know what else. You know what's another thing I'm always.

[Tisa Chang]

Fascinated by like fobs who get into stand up because they're somehow pick it up so crazy. Like the American like language and how to structure a joke and stuff. You know, I'm talking about like whether it's like Zhao Yang, Ronnie Chang, you know, like it's just like interesting because they come so late, relate, you know, to the country and somehow like they find like a weird way of approaching certain jokes and structures too that's sometimes not even American, but like really smart, you know. And I think that is kind of bringing over like some like smart from like other countries, like their educational system or how their brain works and stuff too.

[Jason Chen]

So.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, this is what I'm picking up. Okay. You came here at 14, immigrant FOB like me, me, armpit sweat like me. Wanted to kill yourself. Like me. White water rafting, water sports. Yeah, like me.

[Jason Chen]

But I'm not, I'm not a good Water guy, though.

[Bobby Lee]

I think coming here at that, like, weird tweeny age is like, not even tweeny. It's like already, you know, in high.

[Kila]

School is hard, challenging time for anyone, no matter what.

[Bobby Lee]

It's weird.

[Jason Chen]

Feel it. Did you feel it? I didn't. You didn't feel it?

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't feel it until, like, in. In hindsight, because I think I was just surviving. I didn't have a chance to, like, even have an opinion about what was happening around me until, like, I got older and I was like, whoa, that was weird. I think, you know, like, everything. Like, we've told this story so many times. Like, I. My doctor literally molested me for years that I didn't know it was happening. And. But that's what I'm saying. I didn't know anything because I. I was just surviving each moment. I. I think. And because you're a teenager, like, you're not trying to make sense, Doctor.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah. Because sometimes, like, even when you go to, like, Chinese, like, acupuncture, like, to cure like a back pain, they like, poke your finger and you're like, oh, this is how it works, you know? So you're like, oh, back. Okay, that makes sense.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I see same.

[Jason Chen]

The weirdest one is to check the tongue. Like, what is the tongue thing?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. They have to like, let me see your tongue. The acupuncturist. Yeah.

[Jason Chen]

I'm like, this is weird.

[Kila]

Oh, because isn't it, like, if it's red or pink.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah. Like white pink or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Or if you have fuzz on there. I don't know. I. My tongue never gets a good diagnosis, if I'm being honest.

[Jason Chen]

Look at your tongue.

[Tisa Chang]

You ate a Jolly Rancher, didn't you?

[Kila]

Every so often, everyone on social media gathers together and they all commit to doing something absolutely humiliating and pathetic. And it's happening right now. Now just everyone is posting themselves from 2016. I'm sorry, I'm gonna have a horrible take on this that no one is gonna like. I hate it. I think it's weird. I think it's sad. And I'm not in. I'm not into it.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not participating?

[Kila]

I'm not participating. I don't like looking back.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking about? All you thought you were, like, high school, you want to go. You want to jump back into high.

[Tisa Chang]

School, you want to go way back.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like 10 years ago.

[Tisa Chang]

You want to go 20 years back.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Cuz you talk about, like, wanting to do high school all over again, right?

[Kila]

Yeah. That's true. But like I don't want to look at pictures of me 10 years younger and like face that. You know what I mean? Like, and I feel like you're able to look at like pictures of your baby as like a newborn and growing up. I can't do that. Cuz then I'm just going to get so sad one because I'll be like, oh my God, she's not that small anymore. Like I miss it. It like looking at old photos, like TBTs, anything. Like it's so. I get so sad. Like I cannot handle it, period. I don't know.

[Tisa Chang]

It's more sad when you're old. Like I'm turning 40 next year, right. So like 2016, I'm still like 30 and I'm just like look grown as still. It just looks like last week, you know what I mean? And then like all these other 2016 photos, they just like look drastically different.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

So it's not really fun for me.

[Bobby Lee]

And you know, I'm on that same boat. I look back at 20, 2016, like it was just like yesterday. But then like for my niece, she was what, 14. You know, like 14 to 24 is such a big jump. It wasn't that drastic for me. I didn't have anything interesting to share.

[Kila]

Yeah, there's nothing. I don't know. What about you?

[Jason Chen]

I didn't know why people were doing 26. Why'd they choose that year?

[Bobby Lee]

10 years.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, 10 years. Oh, I didn't know. But yeah, if you want to post it, post it. But I'm like, whatever.

[Tisa Chang]

And then I feel like a perv because all the girls like that, I follow that I think are hot. They're like kids. And I'm like, what the. When I started following this girl, I'd follow.

[Kila]

I know. That is so creepy. I think it is like the 10 years. But also we don't do this every year. I think it is more specifically that like the fashion is moving away from the the 2000s Y2K and into like the 15, 16, mid 2000s, which I also personally feel like I know when low rise jeans came back and they are still back, they're just barely becoming back. People feel really attacked by that because it's like, you know, not comfortable, whatever. But for me, skinny jeans, like that era did me so dirty and I am just, I'm not willing to go there.

[Tisa Chang]

No, the fashion was bad. Can we all agree with the 2016 was like, oh my. All the, you know, the girls, the fedora joints that are. Is Bad.

[Kila]

But people are, like, wanting it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kila]

It's. It's freaking me out. I'm not going there. Like, I'm not doing this.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's play the game. Let's participate. Anyways, what are you guys have got.

[Jason Chen]

Just a couple from each of you guys before we start. Do you guys think also maybe it's a little bit because it's a Pre Trump era. 2016 was right before you got elected and people are like, looking back before.

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, yeah, I did see a comment about that. It's like the one year before Trump got elected. Right?

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, wow.

[Kila]

Right. I guess that's true. Like, it's such a defining.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Difference in normal.

[Jason Chen]

All right, first up was a nice picture.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Goby. This is really. This actually makes me want to cry because this is. She's 10 years old now, and this is the year she was born and I adopted her.

[Tisa Chang]

Your fashion looks like you, like, do fire dance, you know, like the. You have on those slingshots and like.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I tell you that, like, my hair had like, I had had blonde money pieces in there. And that's, like, really embarrassing. I also was wearing camo sweatpants with my hiking shoes are still cool, but the fanny pack. I only give a about the fact that this was Go's first year of life and now she's 10. Oh, to hike a lot. And I was very skinny and my body was tea.

[Kila]

Tea. Do you see how sad you are?

[Jason Chen]

You could say this was yesterday. I've been like, oh, you want to.

[Bobby Lee]

See my body right now? I'll show you. Postpartum it ain't. It's not like this. My arms were tone as I had abs that were just unstoppable.

[Kila]

Does this not prove your point?

[Bobby Lee]

I. I'll bring it back. I'll bring it back. Yeah. 10 years. 20, 26. Watch me. Oh, nice.

[Kila]

Oh, my God. I can't handle this game. Make it stop.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. 2016 was the first year. We had only been a couple months into tiger belly. Yeah. 2015 was our first year. 2016 was our second, and we were peak in love. Yeah. We were eating a Taco Bell. Nothing was going to stop.

[Kila]

Not Taco Bell.

[Bobby Lee]

A Del Taco.

[Tisa Chang]

You had me at cheese stuffed shell.

[Bobby Lee]

That's like, you know. How did you know so quickly?

[Kila]

That's not Taco Bell has never had that marquee. Kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

My God. And this was in Bakersfield. He was gonna do a show at some private country club, and it was a nightmare.

[Jason Chen]

Oh, damn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There was like, no one was listening to him do stand up. And guess what? Over the weekend he just filmed a special in front of a sold out crowd. So times have changed since our little. And we lived in a two bedroom apartment that was like really disgusting. You've been there?

[Tisa Chang]

Yep.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. This was peak in love. Love Bob and me.

[Tisa Chang]

It's cute.

[Kila]

What are we doing? Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Let's move on away from me please.

[Tisa Chang]

Oh, you have to see. Is this a ice detention center?

[Jason Chen]

What is this?

[Tisa Chang]

What the hell is going on over here? The hell's going on, bro? What's going on, fam? I'm just curious like the cots and everything.

[Jason Chen]

I was at an airport. That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. This isn't an airport. Why are there cots?

[Jason Chen]

Well, it's because like the flights was shut. Like a ton of flights was shut down and I had to, I had to. They gave everybody cots and stuff at an airport.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, they do that.

[Jason Chen]

I think they have like extra budget or something that day or something. But then yeah, they give the whole airport. I think it was Denver. Like the whole airport was dark and then everybody had caught. There's like just caught.

[Tisa Chang]

That's wild.

[Bobby Lee]

I kind of appreciate that. I never knew that they offered anything nice things for anybody but I think.

[Jason Chen]

That was like a once in a lifetime thing because I never, I thought, I thought if your was delayed they'll always give you cots. But then there was just that one time.

[Kila]

Were you doing standup at that point?

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, I was doing standup and I think this was like the third layover. I was doing a cruise ship or something. Cuz they book, you know when they book the flights they give, they book the cheapest corporate. You know, it's like $36 or something. And you got to fly to London.

[Bobby Lee]

Before you can get to Arkansas. Roundabout Transcon Continental.

[Jason Chen]

Yeah, I'm like getting there in a week and I'm sleeping there. But I was grateful but also not really. You know.

[Tisa Chang]

Who is that?

[Jason Chen]

Nichelle Murdoch. You know what the thing is, I was talking about this with my friend the black community and comedy space people. They, they gave me so much opportunity before the whites or, or Asian. But I know Asian doesn't have the. Don't finally give me opportunity. Which is really nice. But yeah, Michelle Murdog is one of the. She's like one of the first people that gave me an opportunity to perform at the Comedy Store and I, and I really, really appreciate her and she puts so many comedians on. Yeah. So I, I really. That was a good time.

[Kila]

I can't picture you smiling like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What happened?

[Jason Chen]

Is that good?

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no.

[Kila]

No.

[Tisa Chang]

Snap. A sprinkle donut lipstick. That's crazy cute though.

[Jason Chen]

You don't like that?

[Kila]

No, I actually am fine with it.

[Bobby Lee]

I love the, the line under the eye.

[Kila]

Thank you so much.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that a big no? No.

[Kila]

Now I'm like, whatever looks good on me. I'm doing it. You know, I don't care what's cool. I. This might have been when I was shooting alone together, we didn't wrote an episode where like I thought there was going to be an earthquake and so I had like my earthquake kit and it was just all like, like McDonald's toys and like sprinkle lip tattoos and white juicy couture. I went to Vegas and they sold those tattoos at like Sugar factory, which was like a big candy store in Vegas. Obviously when I went to Vegas, I didn't know what else to do but go to a candy store.

[Jason Chen]

There's a cute one.

[Tisa Chang]

Good luck.

[Kila]

See, I'm young. And.

[Bobby Lee]

Donut, it's the year she was born too.

[Kila]

Yeah, Baby donut, he's here. She's still. Yeah, she's a now though. She's like a little old lady who hits everybody with her purse. She's so mean. And she was mean then too. I love baby donut.

[Jason Chen]

Your face was really wholesome.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, nothing. Has anything changed?

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah, still beanie flannel. It's not the style. Doesn't even look that different to be honest.

[Kila]

Oh, interesting look.

[Bobby Lee]

You do look a lot more baby faced. Thank you.

[Tisa Chang]

There I was like come more like kind of skinny fat because I was still drinking a lot and stuff.

[Kila]

The style of this photo is very 2016.

[Tisa Chang]

Does it?

[Kila]

Don't you think?

[Tisa Chang]

Actually I. The pants were. I cut it off. But it's, it's like up here like the kind of the. Remember those pants? What is that pants Capri.

[Kila]

Would you wear that now?

[Tisa Chang]

No, I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, with a fully exposed ankles.

[Tisa Chang]

Yeah. It's high waters and it was like low, low first bands. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Like it's like skating. Yeah, it was kind of like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that a beret or a beanie?

[Tisa Chang]

It's a beanie.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, thanks.

[Tisa Chang]

See, back then, you know, more people were wearing the tuck. You know, the kids these days were wearing the no tuck.

[Kila]

So some things have changed.

[Tisa Chang]

I feel like I'm trying to keep up, keep up with the kids.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that was a cute.

[Kila]

See the guys get off scot free. They're like, oh, it's Fine. But for us, we're sad now, aren't we?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not sad. I like to face big feelings, things and feel them through.

[Kila]

I like to just look ahead. I cannot. Oh. Oh, wow. Honestly, yours hurt me more than mine hurt me. You and Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Me and Bobby. That hurts everyone still. Come on, guys. It's only years.

[Kila]

Only me.

[Bobby Lee]

I think. No, it hurts people. It's. It said to me, a lot of.

[Tisa Chang]

Times people are invested. Really invested.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like, come on, it's been four years. It's okay. We're still friends. I was just at his house cleaning yesterday. Nothing's changed. I talked to a school guy. Still taking care of my little baby boy forever.

[Kila]

How did the special taping go?

[Bobby Lee]

Amazing. Incredible.

[Tisa Chang]

I was there.

[Kila]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Which one? What night?

[Tisa Chang]

The last, the last show.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, he. He lost his voice Friday. So then I. I got a concierge doctor. He thinks it was a shady doctor, but it wasn't. It was a legit doctor to give him a steroid shot. Shot. And so he didn't have a voice before the first show.

[Tisa Chang]

I heard he got steroid shot or something.

[Bobby Lee]

It worked so well. It went from. I can't. I can't speak. I can't speak. I can't. I can speak now. And he was able to sing. Cuz he sings in it. Yeah. Like it was crazy.

[Jason Chen]

Wow.

[Tisa Chang]

Now you couldn't tell.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

And it was. It was really good. Was very proud of him. He didn't.

[Bobby Lee]

So proud of him. He was. He did incredible. He was ready. Yeah. Let's not keep reminiscing about our love though.

[Kila]

That's our episode. We're going to do a little more stuff on the Patreon if people want to join us there. Dumbfounded. I don't know how to address you, Mr. Dead. The new book.

[Tisa Chang]

April 14th.

[Kila]

You could pre order it now.

[Tisa Chang]

You can pre order it now on Amazon. Yeah. And then there'll be physical copies in bookstores all across the country. Spit A Life in Battles. It's a memoir. More. There will be an audiobook as well. So.

[Kila]

And I feel like from what you said, there's going to be so much in there that's like juicy personal details, but also like just the experience of like learning about yourself from.

[Tisa Chang]

I don't know, it's a coming of age.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Tisa Chang]

Just like a young Asian kid growing up in la because just there's stuff you were explaining.

[Kila]

I'm like, I relate to that and I probably shouldn't, but I do.

[Tisa Chang]

No, that's What I want to do, want to get more. I want to reach more women than just, like, young dudes.

[Kila]

Yeah. So no, I'm so excited to read it. And Jason, are you on? First of all, Jason's standup is, like, otherworldly. So funny. Your bit about not having strong opinions is so. It's so good.

[Jason Chen]

Thank you for being nice.

[Kila]

Are you going to be on tour? Is there anything we can plug? We want to find. Find you on Instagram.

[Jason Chen]

Love it. If you like me, please come, but if you don't, it's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You.

[Kila]

I feel the same way. By the way. Please don't come if you don't like me. You're at Jason Chenny on Instagram.

[Jason Chen]

Thank you for having me.

[Kila]

Yeah. Thank you so much. This was so much fun. Kila, anything else?

[Bobby Lee]

Nothing. I got nothing. But you know what? I do. No one mentioned that this was a sleepover episode. I need to. I need you guys to know I didn't wear. Just wear pajamas for fun. Okay. I took the homework seriously.

[Kila]

I do feel bad that you are the only. I did look for mine and I lent them to my mom. I couldn't find them.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Kila]

And you guys, we have our live show in LA tomorrow night, Wednesday, January 28, at the Comedy Store. You can get tickets at the link below. We're very excited. We have a lot of crazy planned and we'll see you there and we'll see you next week with a brand new episode or over on the Patreon.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you guys so much.

[Kila]

Thank you.