Feel With, Not For w/ Rosebud Baker & Blair Socci

Summary

Trash Tuesday: "Feel With, Not For" with Rosebud Baker & Blair Socci

Hosts: Khalyla Kuhn & Esther Povitsky
Guests: Rosebud Baker & Blair Socci
Release Date: May 13, 2025

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1. Opening Conversations and Personal Struggles

The episode kicks off with playful banter about wearing sunglasses indoors, which serves as a metaphor for shielding one’s emotions during podcasting. Blair Saki humorously apologizes for her indoor sunglasses, hinting at her emotional vulnerability. Rosebud Baker shares her journey with Bell's palsy, noting her improvement and the teasing she receives from her child for still wearing sunglasses, symbolizing her ongoing battle with visibility and presentation (00:00).

2. Navigating Mental Health and Trauma

A significant portion of the discussion centers around mental health struggles and trauma. Esther Povitsky opens up about her challenges staying present after becoming a parent, revealing how her daughter's struggles with suicidal thoughts have intensified her own anxiety and fear (02:01). Khalyla Kuhn interjects with humor, contrasting her ability to remain focused during the podcast despite having a baby, while Esther candidly discusses her daughter’s increasing clinginess and emotional volatility (02:09).

Blair Saki delves deeper into her personal loss, sharing the devastating impact of her brother's death. She describes the profound grief and PTSD she experiences, emphasizing how this loss has fundamentally changed her (05:14). Esther reflects on her own loss of a sister at 17, detailing the immediate and long-term effects on her mental health and coping mechanisms, including her struggles with alcohol and the eventual path to therapy (34:05).

3. Coping Mechanisms and Therapeutic Insights

The hosts and guests explore various coping strategies for dealing with grief and mental health issues. Khalyla Kuhn highlights the importance of therapy, encouraging listeners to seek help and share their experiences. The conversation touches on the stigma surrounding mental health and the necessity of having supportive friends who check in without being intrusive (07:23, 51:14). Rosebud Baker and Esther Povitsky discuss the role of therapy in their lives, with Esther praising Khalyla’s commitment to her mental health regimen (35:57).

4. The Impact of Loss on Relationships and Personal Growth

Blair Saki shares a poignant story about her brother's untimely death, illustrating how such a loss can alter one’s perspective and relationships. Esther Povitsky reflects on the lasting presence of her sister despite her passing, viewing the loss as a shaping force in her life that keeps her connected to her sister's memory (25:09). The discussion highlights how profound loss can lead to both personal growth and ongoing emotional challenges.

5. Parenting Styles and Family Dynamics

The conversation shifts to parenting, contrasting Khalyla’s and Esther’s approaches. Khalyla emphasizes a more relaxed and adaptable parenting style, while Esther shares frustrations with her husband’s practical approach to parenting, especially in stressful situations like traveling with a toddler (09:53). They discuss the balance between being protective and fostering independence in their children, revealing the complexities of co-parenting (10:23).

6. The Newlywed Game: Balancing Humor and Competition

To inject some levity, the group engages in a lively game of the Newlywed Game. Questions revolve around relationship dynamics, such as who wears the pants in their relationship and who is more likely to get into a fight with a stranger. The playful competition showcases the deep bond and differing personalities within the group. Notable moments include Rosebud’s competitive streak and Esther’s candid admissions about her struggles with anger management (47:11, 57:58).

7. Light-Hearted Anecdotes and Cultural Insights

Amidst the heavy discussions, the hosts and guests share humorous and culturally insightful stories. They discuss unique parenting traditions, such as Khalyla’s Filipino nanny teaching her child to bless elders, highlighting the blend of cultural practices in modern parenting (46:27). Additionally, Blair shares an amusing anecdote about being diagnosed with a tumor thanks to her facialist, emphasizing the unexpected ways life can shift (17:08).

8. Emphasizing the Importance of Connection and Support

Throughout the episode, the paramount importance of connection and supportive relationships is reiterated. Khalyla encourages listeners to reach out and maintain meaningful connections, even through simple actions like phone calls. The group reflects on how their friendships provide a safety net, helping each other navigate personal challenges and emotional upheavals (53:26, 51:45).

9. Closing Remarks: Advocacy for Mental Health Awareness

As the episode concludes, Khalyla, Esther, Rosebud, and Blair emphasize the significance of mental health awareness and seeking professional help. They advocate for breaking the stigma surrounding therapy and encourage listeners to prioritize their mental well-being. The discussion wraps up with heartfelt thanks to their supportive community, the "sluggies," reinforcing the podcast’s mission to foster a space for honest and open conversations about life’s struggles (64:05).

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Notable Quotes:

• Blair Saki [00:02]: "I really am going through it and could cry at any possible moment."
• Esther Povitsky [02:01]: "Now I am pretty much there, but it's gotten harder because she's on suicide watch all day long."
• Blair Saki [05:14]: "Unfortunately, my brother just died. It's the saddest thing that ever happened to me."
• Esther Povitsky [34:05]: "When you lose a loved one, it changes who you are forever."
• Kalila [07:23]: "I think you should just get pregnant."
  (With Esther’s humorous rebuttal about SNL casting)
• Blair Saki [17:08]: "I had a golf ball sized tumor taken out of my head two months ago."
• Rosebud Baker [23:37]: "I feel like she was meant to be your friend all this time."
• Kalila [53:26]: "I want to challenge everyone listening... pick up the phone and call someone."

This episode of "Trash Tuesday" delves deep into the personal traumas and mental health struggles of the guests, interwoven with humor and solidarity. The candid conversations about loss, therapy, and the importance of supportive relationships offer a heartfelt exploration of coping mechanisms and the enduring impact of grief. The engaging blend of serious topics and light-hearted segments ensures a relatable and enriching experience for listeners.

Transcript

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm so jealous you have sunglasses on.

[Blair Saki]

I know. I just want to apologize to the viewers that I have sunglasses on. I don't think I'm a big star. I'm going. I really am going through it and could cry at any possible moment.

[Esther Povitsky]

Indoor sunglasses is just translates to podcasting.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, thank you.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know, thank you for saying this. This is the second episode where I don't have my sunglasses because my Bell's palsy is 80% better. But I've been getting grief from this little one because she's like, enough with the sunglasses.

[Kalila]

She's pretty. What do you want from me? I want a popular podcast with a pretty co host. That's what I signed on for is a pretty co host. I signed over in these ugly ass sunglasses.

[Esther Povitsky]

You're coming on like Tim Dillon, just with your sunglasses behind a desk.

[Blair Saki]

Esther has an astute business mind I do trust. Yes, that is true.

[Kalila]

But today you are definitely allowed.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

[Kalila]

But if you come back next time.

[Blair Saki]

No, no, I'll be sung classes next time. Absolutely not.

[Kalila]

We got one.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Shout out to our golden slugs, Brandon and Thomas. This past weekend, we dropped a very special episode of our Patreon. It's one that we've been holding on to for a while and we finally made it happen in honor of Mother's Day, I highly recommend checking it out if you want to get to know Juan or both of us a little bit better.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm really nervous. I haven't talked about about this at all. I mean, maybe morsels here and there.

[Kalila]

But it's all on the Patreon right now if the slugs want to check it out. Patreon.com Trash Tuesday podcast Also, I will have another show at The Comedy Store May 31st in the belly Room. You can get tickets at the link below.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, my God. I heard her crying before I sat down, so that's cool.

[Blair Saki]

I. I did. Oh.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, she's screaming already.

[Kalila]

Oh, you thought you were talking about.

[Blair Saki]

I was like, what?

[Rosebud Baker]

That's what I want to ask you. Are you able to fully be present knowing that your baby is somewhere on this planet?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yes, now I am. Yes. But I mean, not fully. Not the way that I used to be, but like pretty much I'm pretty much there.

[Kalila]

What do you mean used to be?

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, I used to be able to like, really lock in on like a conversation with a friend, and Now I'm like 60, 40.

[Kalila]

Okay, what's wrong with me? No, I don't agree because I will literally be in this podcast for an hour, and I will. And then I'll be like, oh, my.

[Esther Povitsky]

God, I have a kid.

[Kalila]

I have a baby.

[Blair Saki]

You're in the flow state.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Like, I fully forget, but obviously what that is required before that is to be like, she's with a safe person. Yeah, I'm. Whatever. But. So you can't do. You don't forget.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, it's gotten harder because she's. I mean, she's like, I'm on suicide watch all day long. She's, like, genuinely just, like, looking for things to kill herself with actively all the time they do. So that's. That has become harder for me. I was way better earlier when she was like, a little potato and I could just walk around.

[Blair Saki]

She's also really clingy with you. Like.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, she's also really. It's gotten really Leaves.

[Blair Saki]

For one second, she.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, it gets real. She gets real pissed.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Which is understandable. I mean, I'm way cooler than her dad.

[Rosebud Baker]

Isn't that, like a. A developmental milestone to be clingy and to.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yes.

[Blair Saki]

Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

To choose one parent over the other.

[Esther Povitsky]

She would pick Andy over, like, total abandonment.

[Blair Saki]

I can't wait t. He sees this clip. Oh, my God. The clips that published of you guys speaking about each other.

[Kalila]

That's so funny.

[Esther Povitsky]

We're so mean to each other.

[Kalila]

We have the opposite, though. Like, with Ace, I'll be like, mama. And she just looks at me and is like, dada. Yeah, okay. That's not really what I said, but.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, but that is. That's, like. They say it. They say dad at first because it's easier to say.

[Kalila]

I know, but it's been a minute. Yeah, it's been a lot of Da.

[Esther Povitsky]

Da. No, I know. I know.

[Kalila]

A lot of it, but I actually.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's hurtful.

[Kalila]

I support it. I have. I just would like to hear mama. I know it'll be a beautiful moment when I do, but.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, when you're, like, doing all the work and you're like, what the hell? All my nieces and nephews. Five said dead at first, it's easier.

[Rosebud Baker]

To say, yeah, Blair, ready for. For baby.

[Blair Saki]

I'm ready for baby, like, now, but.

[Rosebud Baker]

But you say you want it in love.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, I don't. I want to have a baby with, like, my true soulmate. That's the reason I waited so long.

[Esther Povitsky]

Overrated.

[Blair Saki]

I'm extremely. She says to me all the time, I. I'm extremely picky, though.

[Rosebud Baker]

Underrated, I think.

[Esther Povitsky]

You think? Underrated.

[Rosebud Baker]

I could not imagine doing it with someone. I Barely.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, oh, for sure. No, like. But at least if there's someone you barely like, you could get them out of your life.

[Rosebud Baker]

That is true. But I think that I maybe, like.

[Blair Saki]

This is who's giving me advice every day.

[Esther Povitsky]

I like it.

[Kalila]

I like it.

[Blair Saki]

She's always like, don't worry. If they're a serial killer, then they'll go to jail. They'll be out of your hair.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think. I think you're right in that if it's someone just on the wings that you can sort of, like, you know, excommunicate from, great. But if it's someone that you like but isn't quite that great, that's where it's not gonna. I've got to be either amazing or not present.

[Blair Saki]

So, okay, for context, unfortunately, my brother just died. It's, like, the saddest thing that ever happened to me. But all the. And I've always been, like, an avoidant.

[Esther Povitsky]

Which I think is an argument for having it with a stranger. But go for it.

[Blair Saki]

Go forward, but my walls are down.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

And I've been in therapy a long time working on, you know, finding men acceptable. And, Yeah, I think I'm really on my way.

[Kalila]

I think you should just get pregnant.

[Blair Saki]

Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's like saying you should get on SNL or something. That's truly, like, Esther, you know what I should do? You should get cast on snl, like, because you can't just get pregnant like that.

[Blair Saki]

I feel like my brother is going to send me someone. I'm not even kidding.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, I feel like he already has.

[Blair Saki]

But we'll. Okay. We'll talk about it off camera.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, off camera. Okay. Blair went on a date this week. I won't say who.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God. Stop.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. All right.

[Rosebud Baker]

How are you avoidant in with men or in relationships?

[Esther Povitsky]

You just saw it. Just saw it. She won't speak of them.

[Blair Saki]

Well, also, like, how am I avoidant? I run away.

[Esther Povitsky]

She'll be fully dating a guy for, like, three months and be like, we're not dating. What? Yeah, he'll be, like, staying over at her house, and she's like, we're not dating. We're not together.

[Rosebud Baker]

Even if you really like him?

[Esther Povitsky]

Even if she really. Yes.

[Blair Saki]

That's not true.

[Esther Povitsky]

Those are all so true.

[Blair Saki]

I didn't like.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, those were people. You were like, I'm not. You're like, they're not my person, but you did like them.

[Blair Saki]

Exactly.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know, But I did learn from the Jewish matchmaker on Netflix that it's like, date until you hate them because there is a potential for eventually liking or even loving them over time.

[Kalila]

The only thing that I'm concerned about is that you said you're picky. And I don't like that. I don't like. I don't like when my friends are on. I hear that they're picky.

[Rosebud Baker]

But you also don't like it when they're not picky. Because I'm not picky. And you're like, kalila, you date oddballs.

[Kalila]

No, that. No, I like who you date now.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Yes. Yeah, I just, I'm like, I have a lot of friends who are picky and I. I think you've been too picky. But I think that now that you're open to love, I think that's going to change.

[Blair Saki]

And I've been really trying to be open for like a while. I've been really working on it, but now it's like I don't even have a choice. Like I'm. Because truly avoiding people. I'm such a deeply sensitive person and I'm so open hearted that it makes me. I have to be.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

I'm afraid of.

[Kalila]

Man, that is. It is scary.

[Blair Saki]

And I want like a soul. Like, I want like a soul connection. Like, I can't do like, surface stuff.

[Kalila]

Okay. That's scaring me.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kalila]

A soul connection. Like, if I said that to my husband, which I have, he would laugh at me.

[Blair Saki]

I know. I think most men would laugh. I can't help but speak this way because I'm in such like.

[Kalila]

Yeah, okay.

[Blair Saki]

I'm in such a death.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I agree with soul connection.

[Blair Saki]

I'm in a death portal.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, go for that soul connection. I believe in that.

[Kalila]

It also. You can have the soul connection and it's okay if they don't. I. I'm living.

[Blair Saki]

Esther. Disgusting.

[Rosebud Baker]

As an. For an avoidant. That's the most terrifying thing to hear, I think.

[Kalila]

No, but if you feel safe and secure, it's fine because I'm always like, we're soulmates. And then he's like, there's no such thing as soulmates.

[Blair Saki]

That's really funny though.

[Kalila]

So, like, you can pull it off.

[Blair Saki]

I need someone, like, protective of me and who is like, aware and likes all my sensitivity.

[Esther Povitsky]

I feel a million miles away from what you're talking about.

[Blair Saki]

I know that.

[Kalila]

I love how different you guys are, but you're close.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm. Yeah, you are.

[Kalila]

But I'm honestly like, if you were both my friends from separate sides and I was. You guys were meeting for. I'D be like, oh, this is going bad.

[Blair Saki]

Because people always are like, she's so tough, and you're so soft. How are you guys friends?

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm a softy inside.

[Blair Saki]

She is. She really is. She's like the best friend in the world.

[Esther Povitsky]

The reason why I feel a million miles away is just because every day of my. I'm. I'm in a soul connection. I feel like. No. With Andy. Well, yeah, you too. But, like, you know, every day I'm like, this is definitely my soulmate. And then every day I'm like, he's fucking. He's such an idiot. I'm like, you're such an idiot. I get so mad at him.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's just the universal thing, I think, when you become a parent, just, like, logistics just is over anything. Right.

[Esther Povitsky]

It drives me crazy.

[Blair Saki]

He asked her where the airport was.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, we were in the airport, and he wanted to change our daughter by the fucking baggage claim. And I was like, you're not going to have her pussy out by the baggage claim. And then he was like, well, where's the bathroom? And I was like, I don't work at the fucking airport. I don't. You know, like, that kind of thing where it's like, I'm holding all the bags and holding her. She's got. She smells, like, 35 pounds. And he's like, where's the bathroom? I'm like, do I have a vest on right now? I get so mad at him, and it's. It's not his fault. Like, he'll be like, why are you so mad at me? And I'm like, I think because you're not me.

[Blair Saki]

Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, I think that's really what it is.

[Kalila]

It's so funny how our. All of our parenting styles are so different because, like, in that situation, I would be the one that's just, like, pussy out. We're changing her, right? I'll put her on that conveyor belt and just change her while I'm walking. Like, I don't. I'm not. But then Dave would be like, should we go somewhere? I'm like, no. And he'd be like, okay, yeah. We'd just be. So. It's.

[Blair Saki]

Well.

[Esther Povitsky]

But it's also.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

You guys. It sounds like you all three have really patient men. I think that's so nice.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. You need to have a guy that you can be a little bit mean to.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Mine is sainthood at this point. That what he has to deal with in my labile, just up and down, like, bless him. Bless him. So much. He is, like, really dealing with a lot.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. But also, you're an angel. You really are.

[Rosebud Baker]

Not the. It's been hard to say that about.

[Blair Saki]

Myself, truly, but I fully believe that about you. Like, thank you. No, you are like. You radiate kindness.

[Kalila]

You're so smart.

[Blair Saki]

Every time I come on here, I am filled with glee over your wide, vast medical knowledge that I forget about and all your past lives.

[Kalila]

See, you're like. I feel like there's a certain type of us. It's like, me, you, and Bobby. Like, there's something about her. Like, I'm just like, she's so soothing.

[Blair Saki]

Totally. Yes.

[Rosebud Baker]

You guys pretty smart. Oh, thank you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Am I allowed to say that?

[Kalila]

Why not?

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know. I feel like.

[Kalila]

Is it racist?

[Esther Povitsky]

It felt racist when I said it.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think if you had said, like, sage.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Then it would have been bad.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Because, like, indigenous.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. Okay. Just checking. Have to check. Sometimes shit flies out of your mouth. You go, oops, I don't know about that one.

[Kalila]

I'm gonna take a risk here, and I'm gonna tell you guys something. I. Well, okay, so hold on. I.

[Esther Povitsky]

You've decided not to say it?

[Kalila]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Okay. You know how, like, 10 years ago or so, like, this trend started where, like, people would go on 23andMe, and they'd be like, oh, my God, my dad is not my dad. Or, like, I didn't know I was adopted, whatever, all this stuff. And like, that sort of, like, happened in this big wave. And when it happened, you're like, oh, my God. Like, I can't believe that's happening to people. Like, didn't happen to me. Like, it's. You know.

[Esther Povitsky]

It happened.

[Kalila]

So I cannot say, like, the details because it's a very private family matter. But yesterday, like, I found out something that's like, I'm sorry, Mom. Like, I'm. We found out, like, a really, really crazy family secret was uncovered yesterday, and I. Like, I said I can't share the family details. And I'm, like, still processing it for sure. Like, I'm. Again, this is me, like, not ready to talk about something, but I can't help myself.

[Blair Saki]

Totally.

[Kalila]

Yeah. We found out, like, a huge family secret.

[Esther Povitsky]

Holy.

[Kalila]

That's probably all I can say. Right?

[Blair Saki]

That's so hard.

[Kalila]

That's all I'm allowed to say. And I. I guess the reason that I want it is, like, I would love to hear from any of the listeners, like, if you have gone through this, what it. What happened and how it is. I think the thing that I, I do want to share and say is that I just am so blindsided and my whole family is blindsided. And like, I think again, I brought that up. Like it's something that I saw happening to other people and I'm so. I'm like having an out of body moment right now because I can't even believe that this is like something that I'm saying. Like, it's just something that happens to other people. And like, you know your family so well and there's absolutely no way. Like it almost like in a fantasy, you're like, that's like a fairy tale or like just a made up story. And I hope that like one day I can share like the details of it specifically. But right now I can't because it's too private.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's probably still very raw.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But there's just like a crazy.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. That's so painful. The shock.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. When your whole reality changes in one day.

[Kalila]

It is, in a way it's like very similar. It's like. But it's like kind of almost the opposite. I don't know.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. No, I mean, it's not the same and I'm sorry.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's not.

[Blair Saki]

No, no, no, no, no. But it's just, it is though.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just a feeling of immensely changes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

One day where you're like, I was a different person yesterday.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I have a family.

[Rosebud Baker]

Go hug your mom.

[Blair Saki]

I know. I want to hug you. I want to hug you so bad.

[Kalila]

No, I'm okay. No, I don't. Honestly.

[Blair Saki]

You don't want to hug? She doesn't want it. Okay, got it, Got it.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's okay. We just all cry.

[Kalila]

Okay. Now everyone else shares something.

[Blair Saki]

We're going through it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Tragedy.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Rosebud, you're up next.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm not ready for that. I have to do a six hour flight with a one and a half year old. I don't think I can cry right now. Yeah, I sort of have to steal myself.

[Blair Saki]

She's been crying with me for two days.

[Kalila]

But actually on that same subject, don't you. This is like. But don't you have like a lot of family secrets?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. No, I come from a political family. I just found out like last year that we had a schizophrenic that I never met that like died in a hospital.

[Blair Saki]

Oh my God. Why am I laughing? I laugh.

[Esther Povitsky]

I was like, you talk is insane. What? I'm like, well, every political family has like one Schizophrenic that they hide away for, like, their life.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, I watched the crown.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

They hid that whole other side of that family.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, the Kennedys.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, yes. Oh, my God, they did her so dirty. Yeah, just lobotomize the shit out of her.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. It's brutal.

[Blair Saki]

We love you, Rosemary. Oh, my God.

[Esther Povitsky]

What? Her name's Rosemary. Jesus Christ. Whoa.

[Kalila]

It could have. It should have been you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, quite frankly, actually, no, it might be.

[Kalila]

You would.

[Esther Povitsky]

I might end up there if you.

[Kalila]

Were born into your family, like 30, 40 years ago.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I would be in. I'd be. Padded walls all day.

[Blair Saki]

You would. Anytime anyone was too lippy, they get thrown right in there.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, for sure.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. I forgot I had, like, a lobotomy earlier this year.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

What do you mean by that?

[Blair Saki]

I had a golf ball sized tumor taken out of my head two months ago.

[Rosebud Baker]

Two months ago?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

I was, like, talking to her. I came into her house. I was like, I can't believe that in the last three months you had a natural disaster, a tumor taken out of your head, got diagnosed as autistic, and then your brother died. I was like, in three months, this bitch has been through. She was like, thank you for coming. I hope I'm fun.

[Blair Saki]

I didn't say, I hope I'm fun. I said, I'm sorry, I'm a bad hang.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, you were like, sorry, I hope I'm fun. You were like, it's like. You were like, I'm sorry I'm a bad hang right now. And I was like, what are you talking about? Listing off the things. I was like, of course you're. I'm like, I didn't come here so that we could, like, go to Disneyland together.

[Kalila]

Also, I. On my best day, I'm a bad hang, so.

[Blair Saki]

No, you're not.

[Kalila]

Wait, how did you find out that you had a tumor?

[Blair Saki]

A facialist. Thank God. Thank God. I love skincare.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

You know, who knows if I'd be here?

[Kalila]

That is the worst answer possible.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think it's incredible what part of your brain.

[Blair Saki]

It wasn't on my brain.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was like a lung.

[Blair Saki]

It was like on my occipital, just here. Bridge, Ridge, Some like that. And then it got so big so that I had to get it taken out.

[Kalila]

So the facialist was like, oh, I think you have a tumor at the.

[Blair Saki]

End of the facial. She was like, I don't want to scare you, but I think you need to see a neurologist. And I was like, oh, I came here to relax. You know, I was like.

[Kalila]

But she is truly like that friend that's like, you have something in your teeth like that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Because she doesn't have to say it.

[Blair Saki]

I would have never known, to be honest. I mean, I would have eventually, because it got so big.

[Kalila]

Would you say it if you were, like, scratching my head and then you felt something like that or.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, my God, I am. I. I'm so inappropriate with things like this. Like, I'll see someone in public with just, like, a little bit of what I think might be a lump in their thyroid.

[Blair Saki]

Yes.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I'm like, excuse me. You're good. You're really good. Trust me. I've already checked everyone.

[Kalila]

But. But knowing how crazy I am, you would still tell me.

[Rosebud Baker]

I would. A hundred percent.

[Kalila]

I. Thank you, but I'm just so. Because I'm so scared that I would. I fear now that no one will tell me what's wrong with me.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, no. I'm the first to tell people, and it's probably not right because, like, I just saw a friend recently in Hawaii, and I was like, hey, you're. You're a little jaundiced.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, no, I want anyone to tell me any medical thing, because, like, I. I would never know if I. I've. I've had, like, every boyfriend of mine get a mole removed.

[Kalila]

Yes, yes.

[Rosebud Baker]

That I have done.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Dave. I. I'm like, we need yearly skin checks. They don't. Men don't go to the doctor.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's.

[Kalila]

Does Andy go to the doctor?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, he does.

[Rosebud Baker]

Okay.

[Kalila]

I don't know why I felt like he does.

[Esther Povitsky]

Andy's. Andy's on top of it.

[Kalila]

He's like.

[Esther Povitsky]

He's been sober for, like, a long time, so.

[Kalila]

Sober guys are a different kind of.

[Esther Povitsky]

Sober guys are a different thing. They're like, yeah, we're hanging out. These are my fellows. But they're so. Like, I've cried on this guy's shoulder. You're my fellow ye.

[Kalila]

Okay, Just do more Andy.

[Esther Povitsky]

I mean, I do. I love him. He's such a. Like, same.

[Kalila]

When I look at Andy, I love Andy.

[Esther Povitsky]

The reason why I married him is because I was like, whatever he has, I need, like, that. I need that softness, and I need to, like. I need to work on that myself. Like, it truly is. You guys are like, let's all cry. I almost panicked. I was like, oh, my God. I. I didn't know what to do. I have. I cry within my therapist's office, and he has told me numerous times that the goal is to be Able to cry outside of those walls. And I. It's so hard for me to do that.

[Unknown]

Blair, do you feel like because all these things have happened to you, you kind of. There's a freedom. Like, everything bad has happened. So now because it feels like you are feeling free in a way.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, that's really nice of you to say. Thank you. That honestly gives me one shred of hope. I. I mean, kind of like I have no choice but to be vulnerable. I'm, like, doing my first show back tonight. I have a bunch of shows and then I. I have my full tour in a couple weeks. Like, I don't really have a choice. Yeah. I've never been in this position where I'm this raw in my life before. It's. It feels really weird and like, I was so close with my brother and his death was so shocking, and it is a unspeakable pain like that. A pain that I didn't even know existed. It is like he was just the most perfect. Like, when I describe him, it sounds impossible to be true. How, like, sweet and perfect and talented and successful and handsome and funny. And he ran 100 mile marathons. Like, just incredible man in every way. And was truly like my North Star in my entire life. And I. And completely lost. Like, I feel like a completely different person.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think it does change who you are forever.

[Kalila]

Like, for sure. Take the. I think out of that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. When you lose.

[Blair Saki]

That's why I need the sunglasses.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. It was like I got her text and I knew immediately, like, that feeling. That feeling of, like, when your sibling dies. I was like, everything from here on out is going to feel completely different. It's like a paradigm shift. The same way that everything changes when you have a kid. Yeah. Like, everything changes.

[Kalila]

How old were you when your sibling died?

[Esther Povitsky]

I was 17.

[Kalila]

You were?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. I thought. I don't know. You know, I. I just assumed because your sibling. It was your sister and how old was she?

[Esther Povitsky]

She was seven.

[Kalila]

I pictured you guys so much younger that it was a thing that you didn't even remember, but 17. That's. That's like. Yeah, that's really.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. It was like three days before my high school graduation, and then we, like. I had to do my graduation and stuff because, like, you. Your family just, like, starts to. You just start to, like, do the next thing. And.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Even though everyone is just like, how is this even still happening out of body?

[Blair Saki]

Like, it just feels. Doesn't feel real.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think that the shock that happens after, like, the death of a loved one is the only thing that protects you. Like that fog that you have, that sort of, like, foggy brain kind of like making your. It's like searching for the curb after the car wreck. You're like. That is the thing that's keeping you alive, like, for that time period, because it just gets you to, like, do the next thing that you have to do.

[Blair Saki]

I was on the phone with her, like, several times a day, like, in those first, like, seven days.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

And I don't remember any of it. Like, scream. Crying on the phone. Like, I don't. I have no really memory of any of it. And it's just so weird to me because, you know, like, we've been best friends for so long, and I have Graham's, like, birthday the day she died on my calendar. Like, we have discussed, like, Graham.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

So much over the years. And then for. To be best friends and, like, her have the same experience, you know?

[Kalila]

That's unbelievable.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I feel like now. Now I believe, like, she was meant to be your friend all this time.

[Kalila]

I know. It's just.

[Blair Saki]

It's so crazy. We're, like, psychically connected, even though we are so opposite.

[Kalila]

Well, I've always felt that about you guys. The last time you guys did this show, and we were all just, like, laughing and like. Like, oh, I would like, that connection that you guys have is. I've never seen that before. Especially, like, no shade to comedians, but, like, for two female comedians to be that close, like, that's.

[Blair Saki]

No, we're like, that's not easy. Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's weird because you. You wouldn't. You would want to change. Obviously, like, when you lose someone, you would, if you were to give. Be given a choice. You're like, I would have them back in a second. But then there's, like, these moments in your life, like this one where, like, if I didn't have this experience, I wouldn't be able to be here for her in the same way, you know, like, and. And also, I don't know if I ever even would have met her if, like, you know, I don't know that I ever would have done comedy or anything like that. So you kind of go like, this is the life that I've been given in a way like that. I look at that as, like, her presence in my life still, because her death has shaped everything that I've gone through in such a strong way that you're like, this is how she's still with me for sure. You know? And I. I remember talking to you and saying that, like, you're gonna feel it. Obviously, you feel the loss, but you also feel their presence. Because there is no way that you would be where you are without having lost them.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. I mean, I feel him every second. Like, just what he would say, his laugh. Like, yesterday I listened to all his voicemails. The one time he came to me that I know for sure, because I keep asking, like, how do you know it's them? You know, like a sign or whatever was. I was finishing up his eulogy the night before his funeral, and I wrote this line about how I used to love how he would do this Edgar from Men in Black impression because he was so funny.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's the monster guy, right?

[Blair Saki]

Yes. And then the next morning, the first song on someone's Spotify was Men in Black. And I felt it was him. Like, I felt, like, his presence, smiling, being, like, on the morning of his funeral. And it was so clearly him, like, doing a little, like, hello, like, joke. But, you know, I keep, like, begging for him to, like, come to me in a dream or like, anything. But that was the one time that I felt him, like, for sure.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Because I hadn't heard that song in, like, years and years and years.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

No, it was, like, so bizarre. Yeah. It was so weird.

[Kalila]

And he will come to you in a dream like that. I know. Yeah. You just want it too bad.

[Blair Saki]

Exactly. I was like, maybe Spirit RJ is like a cat or something, but that he's not cat guy.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think it's one of those things that it's this perfect balance of, like, once you've found your way through a little bit, then you get little visits, you know?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. It's gonna be so weird. Cause I was like, how am I gonna do comedy, you know? Like, I don't even know minute to minute, like, how I'm gonna feel. I cry all the time before this happened. I'm such, like, a sensitive person. I cry if I see a butterfly, you know? I told her how sad I got when I saw an empty restaurant. I was so disturbed. Like, I felt so bad for them.

[Esther Povitsky]

And she's like, it's really the least of. Like, I told her, is it dangerous.

[Kalila]

For you to walk through the world?

[Blair Saki]

It is. That's what she said.

[Kalila]

You're so susceptible.

[Blair Saki]

That's what she says all the time. And she had said for years that she's really worried about me joining a cult.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Especially now we're on cold watch.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, we're on cold watch. Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Are you going to let me Go in a cult?

[Esther Povitsky]

I hope not. You know what I mean? It's.

[Rosebud Baker]

Unless you meet a cult leader named Edgar.

[Blair Saki]

No.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know what I mean? Which is my dad's name, by the way, so I don't blame you. I, too, would join that.

[Blair Saki]

They all have ponytails and love volleyball, which is my old sport, you know, so. I can't wait.

[Kalila]

Kalila, can I ask you a question? Because we're talking about these, like, huge losses, and I know that you lost your dad very young.

[Blair Saki]

Does.

[Kalila]

Do you share. Does it. Is it. Do you relate to any of this? Or is it such a different kind of loss because you knew he was sick?

[Rosebud Baker]

It's a little different.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. I cannot imagine the pain. Like, I have a hitch in my throat if I were to think of ever losing my sister.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

My sister is my lifeline. She is my North Star. I cannot. I refuse to do life with her, is what I've always told her. And losing my dad was. You know, he was already elderly. He had been dying in front of my eyes for. For years. It still was very painful. But he is not my sister.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And if I were to lose my sister, like. Like, please keep a close eye on me, because I. I would be absolutely. I don't know how I would be able to breathe, I don't think.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And so I really do feel for you and anyone who's ever lost a sibling that they've truly loved, because I. I can't even, like, think about it.

[Blair Saki]

It's so hard. I'm sorry. I feel like we're talking about this the whole time.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's too much for you.

[Blair Saki]

No, I'm fine, actually. I just like. I'm like, are these podcast people gonna be like, what the is this?

[Kalila]

They know we're always something different.

[Rosebud Baker]

Two weeks ago, it was my niece saying, oh, yeah, her first sexual experience was a grape. You know what I mean? Not an actual fruit grape, but a natural sexual assault.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, Jesus.

[Kalila]

Okay, good.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, I got grape.

[Blair Saki]

Sounds innocuous.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, no, it really took me a second to put that together. I did sound. I sounded relieved when she said graped. And I didn't mean to. I just didn't. I didn't put the TikTok.

[Blair Saki]

I do get what you're saying.

[Rosebud Baker]

You thought it was a cruise.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm sorry.

[Blair Saki]

I haven't slept.

[Esther Povitsky]

See, this is what bothers me about the Tick Tock.

[Blair Saki]

I hate that we can talk about.

[Esther Povitsky]

The thing, but we can't say the word. I'm like, what is that?

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, it's because for YouTube demonetized.

[Blair Saki]

Shut up, YouTube.

[Kalila]

I know.

[Esther Povitsky]

They're like, don't say the thing that the guy did.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, Always.

[Kalila]

Just let him do it. But don't say it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. I'm like.

[Blair Saki]

But the word is bad.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, speaking of grapes, here's a banana. Wait, I'm. Okay, we're both eating.

[Kalila]

Wait, I know you guys probably want to change the subject, but I am curious, Rose. But you don't have to answer. But I. Did you find out about your sister and her name's Graham. Did you find out about Graham's passing away the same way like your parents called you over or.

[Esther Povitsky]

So? Yeah, we were at a party for my. My high school graduation at a friend's house. So, yeah, it was like, I'm gonna cry. I love you.

[Kalila]

I'm sorry.

[Blair Saki]

No, no, it's okay. This is good.

[Kalila]

It's a banana.

[Esther Povitsky]

I've told this story so many times. Too great. But really great. It is a good one.

[Rosebud Baker]

Whoever chose this, good job.

[Esther Povitsky]

Are these organic? Yes, Ellie. It's really good.

[Kalila]

Ellie, you're trying to kill us. All these non organic.

[Esther Povitsky]

Fantastic. But anyway, so my dead sister.

[Kalila]

Of course.

[Esther Povitsky]

So I get this call that was like, I went to a different party. There were two parties happening the same day at my two different friends house.

[Kalila]

Okay, we get it, Ms. Popular.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was well liked.

[Rosebud Baker]

Probably so hot too.

[Kalila]

Blonde, blue eyes.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I promise, it was bad.

[Kalila]

It had it all.

[Blair Saki]

George Bush Jr Jr Jr Let me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Explain something to you guys. I was not a hot kid. Everyone I know has been molested except for me. No one was interested.

[Rosebud Baker]

I hate the face.

[Esther Povitsky]

We're not into it, honey.

[Rosebud Baker]

But I got molested a lot.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's what I'm saying.

[Rosebud Baker]

Hot kid.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. I didn't have it.

[Blair Saki]

I don't need that right now.

[Esther Povitsky]

I didn't have it. Okay. They could leave me on a playground. They did not. They were not worried about me.

[Blair Saki]

No, your bowl cut was sick, though.

[Esther Povitsky]

My bowl cut?

[Blair Saki]

You were shredding with that thing. You're a little porky too.

[Esther Povitsky]

I was a porky bowl cut. Pedophiles would see me and be like, yuck.

[Kalila]

Next. Wait.

[Rosebud Baker]

Maybe that's the hack. Just make your babies really ugly.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

What a great world.

[Esther Povitsky]

Make them ugly and make them real stubborn. Anyway, so I'm at this other party and my sisters were there with my mom and me and my. My. The sister that was second to me in the lineup. We went to this other party and then we get this call and suddenly one of my friends that was like, not really a friend, like, sort of an acquaintance showed up with my younger sisters, and they were like, we don't know, something happened to one of your sisters. And I. I was like, what? But I didn't know what was going on. But all of a sudden there was just, like, this sort of energy of, like, secretive chaos that I didn't understand. It was like I got this kind of, like, confused anxiety. And they were like, you have to go home. So I put my sisters in the car and I drove us all home. And my. I remember my sister Hallie being like, you have to slow down. You have to slow down. And I was like, I can't slow down. I feel like something. I feel like something really bad happened. And I got to my house and my mom was there. And my mom turned around and was like, she didn't make it. And. And that was when I realized who didn't make it, because my other sister Jackie, who's Graham's twin, was there. So, like, I didn't know who had gotten hurt. I didn't know what had happened. My sister had. You know how there's always a sign outside of the hot tub that's like, if you're under 16, don't go in the hot tub? Yeah, the drain in the hot tub. Like, she had been playing in there with my other sisters, and her hair got stuck in the drain, and, like, three grown men, like, couldn't pull her out of it. There was, like, a. A law that my mom had passed called the Virginia Graham Baker Pool and Spa Safety act that got all of these drain covers for the. Because all of this was avoidable. Like, there was, like, thousands of deaths that would happen because these drains weren't covered. And until my sister died, all of that, like, was preventable, you know? And then when my mom, like, was able to, like, get this legislation passed, it was like, now if you look at the pool covers, it says, like, VGB on them. And that is until, like, Trump got the whole fucking thing defunded. And all of the people that. All the organizations that are in charge of, like, making sure that this happens is now it's like, that's gone. So I don't know what's going to happen now. But that. Don't ever put your kid in a. In a Jacuzzi or a hot tub or, like, it's like. I just. I just have to say that because, like, now I. I worry that all of that is gonna change.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Esther Povitsky]

But, yeah, so it was, like, very sudden. She was so young. And, you know, my, my mother and my dad were like, they had gotten separated earlier that year. And then like, it was just like my whole family just changed. Everything changed. You know, like, I went to college, my sister went to boarding school, my parents got divorced, my dad had a new girlfriend. It was like everything changed in a year. And I was just like, that's such a tough time.

[Kalila]

I was like 17.

[Blair Saki]

17 is like the craziest age.

[Esther Povitsky]

The problem was I didn't have any of the tools. Like they tried to put me in therapy. I was like, there's literally too much for. It was too much for me for anyone really, but like, certainly for a 17 year old who didn't have any kind of like self care or therapy, you know, nothing to like ground myself through it. Like, I just drank and I just drank for years and years and years and just like tried to run from it for so long and then had to do all of this ketchup. And like, I, I truly am like, what you have and all of the stuff that you've gone through over the last, like year and a half, the self care and the, and the antidepressants and the. I'm like, all of that and therapy, it's like the fact that you have those things to ground you and to help you get through this, which is. It's still impossible to get through, but to have that is so valuable. And you like, every day, every time you're like, I just got off the phone with my therapist. I'm like, good for you. Good, good.

[Blair Saki]

I love my therapist.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's so good because, like, there was so much catch up to do. And even now, now that Minnow is like a year and a half. I'm having crazy ptsd. I had like a kind of a breakthrough in therapy two, two months ago where I had stopped going for like six months because I was like, I'm just gonna like, power through this, which is a full PTSD reaction to like, exactly what my sister, you know, like, I would just. I was like, I'm just gonna get through it. I'm just gonna do it on my own. I've got this, I've got. I don't need any help. Help that kind of is like, you know, it's so easy when she's little and she's with me and nothing can happen to her, you know, in my brain I'm like, nothing can happen as long as she's with me. Now she's like an independent. She's like saying no, and she's like choosing to do things and I. And walking around in the world and I'm like, ah. Like, that is so terrifying to me because anything could happen. Like, when my sister died, I was like, anything can kill you. Like, anything can kill you at any point.

[Rosebud Baker]

You speak in my language.

[Esther Povitsky]

You know what I mean?

[Rosebud Baker]

This is all my brain is consumed with.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And the algorithm knows, so everything. All my targeted ads are buy this.

[Blair Saki]

Like, oh, my God, choke.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, you know the thing that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, oh, my God.

[Rosebud Baker]

The thing from sick. Yeah. Everything is. Is now catered to my anxiety.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's all like, people who've lost their children in my. I'm like, this. That's my whole algorithm. I never go on my explore page. It is a fucking disaster.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, I had to stop too, because that's literally all like, you can't ever.

[Esther Povitsky]

Go on your explore page. It's literally. I'll show you right now. It's just gonna be people who are, like, scarred and bandaged and like, people like sad stories of, like, somebody who lost.

[Rosebud Baker]

Hashtag child loss.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's all like, TikTok I. Because it picks up on what you're saying to your therapist, to your family. Like, I'm afraid of this. I'm afraid of this.

[Esther Povitsky]

This.

[Rosebud Baker]

And then it hears you and then it gives you more.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, I'm upset. I'm.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's. It's horrible for you guys.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's really, really bad.

[Blair Saki]

It's like goats and aliens.

[Kalila]

Yours. There's something wrong with you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, yeah, that's. We're going to somehow. That is.

[Kalila]

That's actually the most concerning thing we've heard.

[Blair Saki]

Look, I. What. Say what you want. I'm fun, you know, I have a good time. I have a good time in my home alone.

[Esther Povitsky]

I have a good time.

[Blair Saki]

I do. I have a good time.

[Kalila]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know, I get a little silly in my brain sometimes.

[Kalila]

Oh, do you, little girl? I never get silly in my brain. I'm so perfect.

[Rosebud Baker]

And that's why she needs better help.

[Kalila]

If you haven't started therapy yet, girl, you need to.

[Rosebud Baker]

Mental health awareness, thankfully, is growing. But did you know that 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey say they have avoided seeking mental health? Health therapy has been the one indispensable part of my life. It is the reason that I continue to what Esther call survive and advance.

[Kalila]

You must survive. You must advance, and you must try betterhelp.

[Rosebud Baker]

And on top of that, not just survive, thrive. What I love about BetterHelp is it's fully online, making therapy affordable, convenient, and serving over 5 million people worldwide. I love that if it's not a match with a therapist this, easy peasy, you can switch therapists at any time for no additional cost.

[Kalila]

I would say we're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.comtrash Tuesday to get 10 off your first month. That's better. Help h lp.comtrash Tuesday this week. Mine was all about the Titanic wreckage.

[Blair Saki]

Really?

[Esther Povitsky]

Really.

[Rosebud Baker]

I have a flex.

[Kalila]

What?

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Rosebud Baker]

My dad was born in 1924. So like before the Depression.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

So his family was very close. Close to the Guggenheims. And before, when I was younger, he told us like, hey, we actually had family friends that died in the Titanic. And I was like, oh, he doesn't know the Guggenheims. And also, this is so made up. But then if you watch the movie and so. And so was introduced. There's a Guggenheim on there.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. It was not Peggy.

[Rosebud Baker]

It wasn't Peggy.

[Kalila]

Rosebud knows them.

[Esther Povitsky]

Peggy's still alive, right?

[Kalila]

She's like, I had brunch with Peggy this morning. She's fine.

[Rosebud Baker]

And so.

[Esther Povitsky]

I wish I did.

[Rosebud Baker]

This is something that I couldn't cross reference before the Internet happened. It was just my dad's like lore and it turns out, yeah, like my dad was friends with someone from the Titanic who went down.

[Kalila]

Oh my God.

[Rosebud Baker]

The flex isn't the Guggenheim. The flex is that he knew someone that died in the Titanic. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Dave's brother in law is. They descended from survivors of the Titanic.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, they survived.

[Kalila]

Yeah. With good, good gen. Yeah, it's like a pretty woman.

[Esther Povitsky]

So, yeah, survivors, they had money. That means they had money.

[Kalila]

I don't know if they did, but I should find out.

[Rosebud Baker]

Wait, did the survivors, Mostly the upper class, I don't.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. So for sure, everybody that was, you know, pushing coal was like dead. Yeah.

[Kalila]

But there's a lot of like news that reached the top, the lower middle, like women and children. I don't think they did that. I think a higher proportion, though you're right. Of the, the upper class survived.

[Blair Saki]

And they like kept sending off the boats like half full and.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Unknown]

So 62, first class, 32.

[Esther Povitsky]

That sounds right. I mean that sounds wrong, but that sounds.

[Kalila]

If you were a pretty lady in mid, mid class, you probably got out.

[Esther Povitsky]

You were on deck seven, you're done.

[Kalila]

But if you had recently had a nose job, maybe you maybe.

[Blair Saki]

Did they have.

[Kalila]

I don't know.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I don't think so. I think you had to get venereal. Disease to like get a nose job. And then you were just sort of stuck like that.

[Blair Saki]

This for.

[Rosebud Baker]

I really love the word venereal.

[Blair Saki]

Venereal to nose.

[Esther Povitsky]

Did you ever watch the Nick?

[Rosebud Baker]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Blair Saki]

One of the Nick.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was a great show. But one of the women got an STD and they had to take. They took to do a skin graft back in like the 1800s. They would take skin from your arm and they would put it onto your nose and you had to walk around like this because it. Until it heal like. Like this. And they would just like they would tape your arm to your. The back of your head like that.

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean they still sort of do things like this. My. One of my really good friends, she has pubic hair on her finger because they grafted the skin. They grabbed. They used to graft a burn or an injury to her finger was from her groin.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

So she grows pubic hair.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Why groin of all places?

[Kalila]

And why do I have pubic hair there? But I didn't.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think maybe it's an area that doesn't see the light of day or it's not visible. But I'm like, no, there are eyes on this.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Because my sister pushed my other sister into a fire on a camping trip and they had to. It's just something we do. They grafted her skin from her butt onto her arm and we called her. We just. I forget we like called her butt skin for a while, but.

[Blair Saki]

Makes much sense.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's not a very good nickname.

[Blair Saki]

Like that's where I would think you would go.

[Rosebud Baker]

From the butt.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. To take it from the groin is. That's bold.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. I think it's a pretty common choice.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

A common area.

[Esther Povitsky]

Insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know.

[Esther Povitsky]

They're real psychopaths.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know, I don't have a lot of cartilage left in my shoulders or actually like basically zero because I was a swimmer. And they were like, you have two options, which is like an oats one where they can. You can either use a different animals cartilage or you can take it from your knee. A part of your knee that doesn't. It's not like load bearing or something like that. And they can grow it and then put it back in my shoulder.

[Esther Povitsky]

Whoa.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I think it's called like an oats method.

[Esther Povitsky]

Whoa.

[Blair Saki]

Is that like brand new?

[Rosebud Baker]

I don't know.

[Esther Povitsky]

Do you feel like you could have been a doctor in a. In a different way?

[Blair Saki]

I feel like you.

[Kalila]

She is a doctor.

[Blair Saki]

First of all.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's what I wanted to Be if you look at my, like, six year old yearbook from, like, kindergarten.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

It says, my name is Kalila, my favorite animal is bird, and I want to be a doctor.

[Kalila]

Do you think that's just because you already were taking care of your dying father and so you felt like one already?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, well, my dad went to medical school.

[Blair Saki]

Oh.

[Rosebud Baker]

But he never. He was hidden practice. He's one of those, like, rich boys that was just like, oh, wow. So he was really knowledgeable. And I think I was just like. Like the human body.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Wow. I get so grossed out by anything.

[Rosebud Baker]

What are you grossed out by?

[Blair Saki]

Blood. Gore.

[Rosebud Baker]

You get lightheaded.

[Esther Povitsky]

She barfs.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, I will throw up at, like, anything. Sometimes my own period blood makes you all gag.

[Rosebud Baker]

Me too.

[Blair Saki]

Really?

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, yeah. I mean, mostly.

[Blair Saki]

Is that true?

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean, we have a friend who does, like, period blood art.

[Blair Saki]

What?

[Kalila]

Dude.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I, you know, she's this one Jenna.

[Kalila]

Just so everyone knows it's Jenna. And she's. We love her.

[Esther Povitsky]

And.

[Rosebud Baker]

And, you know, she's just like, this is, you know, the fruit of your loins. And she's very poetic about it. And I understand, like, the love for your own period blood, especially since she has pcos, so she doesn't see her period blood a lot. But as someone who bleeds every month, I'm like, no, thank you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I'm gonna put capped out.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, but people are different, you know, I know that some people water their plants.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, yes. I mean, period blood, it's like a sacred ritual or something.

[Esther Povitsky]

Is this TikTok?

[Blair Saki]

I love TikTok.

[Rosebud Baker]

Well, Filipinos, when you go through puberty and you get acne, and if, like, you're a young boy, like, their moms will use the period blood and like.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, that is wild.

[Rosebud Baker]

Wipe it on their face because it's supposed to help with, like, acne and stuff. I really. I shouldn't be saying this about all Filipinos. They're probably just right.

[Esther Povitsky]

We don't do that. Jane, about this.

[Kalila]

Is that your nanny?

[Esther Povitsky]

Jane is my nanny. It's really cute. Like, I guess in the Filipino tradition, like, if you meet, like, an older Filipino person, you put blessed. So if you put your hand out like, this minnow will take your hand and go like this. She did it to, like, this guy in the airport the other day. He went like this to hand her something, and she took his hand and.

[Rosebud Baker]

Went like, that is the sweetest thing.

[Esther Povitsky]

Really cute.

[Rosebud Baker]

That is the one thing that I wish. You know, a lot of things, like, die. You know, older generations, they don't sort of, like, carry on to. But I really want my children to always bless their elders. It is this sweet.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's really precious. It's like, really?

[Rosebud Baker]

Because I still bless my grandma. I still bless all the elders in my life. And it's basically you just. You take their hand and you just acknowledge that, you know, you're older than me, you're wiser than me, and I gotta get.

[Esther Povitsky]

I respect you.

[Kalila]

Look, I want to do that today.

[Esther Povitsky]

This was her in the airport. Yeah, look. She's like.

[Blair Saki]

That is adorable.

[Esther Povitsky]

She does this with, like, with all the other nannies, all the Filipino nannies that are that, like. Like, you know. Because Jane is friends with the other nannies that, like, live in our neighborhood, and they have, like, a playgroup with the kids. And every time Minnow sees the other nannies, she'll go up and be like.

[Kalila]

Why didn't you teach me this? You're my Filipino nanny.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm gonna make you bless me every time you walk into the studio. It's gonna be a. Yeah. Where's my bliss?

[Kalila]

Should we play our game?

[Unknown]

A little bit of a shift from the vibe.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, that's fine.

[Rosebud Baker]

Tragedy to fun.

[Unknown]

We'll see how this goes. So we're playing the Newlywed Game.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, the Newlywed Game. Okay. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Rosebud's really competitive, Lila, and it's really scary.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I do this thing always where it's like, manage our expectations. They're so much closer. They've been closer for a very long time. So if we lose, I'll jump you in the parking lot.

[Unknown]

So question 1. Who wears the pants in the relationship?

[Rosebud Baker]

Ooh. Oh.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, that's tough.

[Kalila]

If you get this wrong, I'm gonna be so mad.

[Rosebud Baker]

There's the illusion, and then there's the truth.

[Kalila]

Oh, no, don't even.

[Rosebud Baker]

There's the illusion, and then there's the truth.

[Kalila]

No, that's so of you. No, we're gonna get it wrong then. And I'm fine with that because I'm holding down.

[Rosebud Baker]

Do I want to be right, or do I want to be. Do I want to win?

[Esther Povitsky]

What did you just add? You added something.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, I just said what I wrote. And a different way. It was unnecessary.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, well, I'm going to say what I wrote in a different way, too.

[Rosebud Baker]

Okay, you know what? I'd rather win. K. I'd rather win. So I'm changing my.

[Unknown]

Whoever wants to go first, okay?

[Kalila]

Kalila wears the pants.

[Rosebud Baker]

You see, I crossed out Esther, and I put K. Because the illusionist. Me. But the Truth is, you.

[Kalila]

No, because I always am. Like, you know that I. I want you to wear the pants. I'm always like, whatever. No, I'll do whatever you say.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, you wanna be the style.

[Rosebud Baker]

But then. But then.

[Blair Saki]

Stella, Stella.

[Kalila]

No, no, I agree. You agree? That's crazy.

[Unknown]

No, no, no. Esther's the pants wearer.

[Blair Saki]

Thank you.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, no, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Blair Saki]

But you're meant to be a stickler. But you cross out Esther and you put Kalei.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know, but. So we won.

[Esther Povitsky]

So which one is it?

[Kalila]

No, but this is now not about the game.

[Esther Povitsky]

Switching the rules around.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, wait. I put Kalila, so I. I thought.

[Blair Saki]

She had to win.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Thank you for your honesty.

[Kalila]

But, you know, I, like, look up to you.

[Esther Povitsky]

But you know what? She's kind of proving this right by saying, like, if she just wants to win, she has to put the answer that you wrote.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, I was just gonna say that. Correct.

[Blair Saki]

I put neither or both of us.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, shit. I just put me.

[Blair Saki]

I know. I know you were gonna write you. But I don't feel that's true.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't really necessarily feel it's true.

[Blair Saki]

I don't feel. I don't feel it's true at all.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm bossier, but I don't.

[Blair Saki]

In her life, but not in our.

[Esther Povitsky]

But I'm not as stubborn. Like, I'm bossier, but I'm not as.

[Rosebud Baker]

Stubborn as friendship fights. Let's all just, like.

[Blair Saki]

No, but jump each other.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

I swear to God. It sounds crazy, but, like, the amount of ease in our friendship is like, I never feel, like, pushed around by you at all. I feel incredibly nurtured.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, that's sweet, Esther.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, you're kind of ruining.

[Kalila]

I feel like I push you, but you put up a wall. And it's. That's how.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's how it work. You're correct. That is correct. I feel like my little pusher.

[Kalila]

I get annoying. And she actually. What she does. This is when I'm just in my head, I'm thinking, that's so good. It's like you don't deal with it. Like, you wait until you're going to be patient, and then you deal with me. Like, I feel like you could be like, you're fucking annoying, but instead you just, like, let me be annoying. And then you come back to me later. You're like, okay, here's this and this.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, I think that it's. That's exactly it.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. I don't want to break your. Nature is what it is. Oh, that's so nice. You are who you are and so nice. I'm not gonna tell you why being that way is wrong.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm just going, I'm responsible for reacting. I'm responsible for taking care of myself. So I'm not gonna be like, esther, don't be that way. It's like, klala, you have the choice.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You can either just chill and not respond.

[Kalila]

It's kind of amazing because I. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Do I have cancer? Oh, I'm not gonna respond to that today.

[Kalila]

You know, and then it's like, I know you'll come back around, but there is. Sometimes I'm like, where is. Where is she? But then I'm responsible for that. I'm like, no, she's fine.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

[Blair Saki]

You would think like that because of how sensitive I am, that I'm like really needy. But actually she's always like, checking out. She's like, don't disappear.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's so sweet.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You need friends like that.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

I do think that we have that in common. Where it's like, if. If something's going wrong, both of us, like, individually tend to isolate more. But like, over the years, I've just started to feel it where I'm like, something's going on with her. Like, I don't know what's going on.

[Blair Saki]

But something's going on.

[Esther Povitsky]

And so I'll just text and be like, checking in.

[Blair Saki]

She's like, I haven't heard from you today. Or like.

[Esther Povitsky]

Or you'll be like, are you alive?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

You know what I mean? So it's a little bit of that.

[Kalila]

I really appreciated that when I like lost my mind around four to nine months postpartum and you were like, haven't heard back from you. But don't. Don't feel like you have to respond. But I just thinking of you and I thought that was so kind and so sweet, like, yeah, I really appreciate that.

[Esther Povitsky]

You just need to know people are thinking about you.

[Kalila]

It's really sweet.

[Esther Povitsky]

Even if you're not up for like talking to them, you know? Cuz I'm the same way. Where it's like, I don't want to talk to anybody, but I also don't want to be forgotten. So it's like, it's nice to hear like. Like just thinking about you, just hoping you're okay.

[Blair Saki]

I mean, Rosebud is truly like my family. But this FaceTime so much in a way that I will never get used to it is so. It is so shocking. Every single Time. I'm like, why would you ever FaceTime me? What? You could just call.

[Esther Povitsky]

If I was 9 years old and you told me that there was a way to call somebody where you could see their face, I would be like, get me to that. That. I want to see what that is. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard.

[Kalila]

It is cool.

[Esther Povitsky]

And so every time I think of, like, when people are like, ew. Why would you face someone? Because it's the coolest invention of our time.

[Blair Saki]

You also got me to be. Remember when we first became friends and you would call me and I was so shocked, like, I hadn't used the phone.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, I. Yeah, that's an AA thing.

[Blair Saki]

I never called. Like, you got me used to, like, talking on the phone. I was never a phone person before we were friends.

[Kalila]

I love that. I need to. I want to challenge everyone listening and all of us, like, pick up the phone and call someone. Even if it's like, you know it's going to be so, like, an attack on them. Yeah. Like, just do it. Because I have a friend that I'm really close with that we text all the time, but lately I've been calling her, and when I do, I'm always. I'm like, I. I don't have anything big, like, it's on, but just. Are you busy?

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, just the silence. Just knowing someone's on the other line is so comforting.

[Unknown]

Okay, are we ready for the next question?

[Esther Povitsky]

We forgot we were playing the game.

[Unknown]

If you guys were all single, who has the best game between the two of you?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, man.

[Blair Saki]

It's really hard.

[Kalila]

This is really weird. I don't.

[Blair Saki]

This is, like, the hardest question I've ever heard in my life.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, if we have to pick one.

[Rosebud Baker]

Do I want to be right or do I want to win?

[Esther Povitsky]

Let's say we have to pick one. Just write it down.

[Blair Saki]

You're going to pick you.

[Rosebud Baker]

We're all cheating. By the way.

[Kalila]

It's me.

[Blair Saki]

I'll put you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Blair. You can't say I have.

[Blair Saki]

Really secure.

[Esther Povitsky]

Let's do. Next question. She blew it.

[Kalila]

Who did you put? Put?

[Rosebud Baker]

Put. You.

[Kalila]

Okay, I put me, too. Because I think even though you're prettier.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, I think it's me.

[Kalila]

You're, like, weird.

[Rosebud Baker]

It is you.

[Esther Povitsky]

It is definitely you.

[Kalila]

I don't see as having people I like. Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

I have no idea how to flirt.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. I don't play with people I don't like.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm very antagonistic.

[Unknown]

Okay, next. Who is more likely to get in a Fight with a stranger.

[Esther Povitsky]

Don't say Kalila.

[Blair Saki]

Rosie.

[Kalila]

Did you put me.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

You put me.

[Esther Povitsky]

I put Blair.

[Blair Saki]

How? There's no way it's me. Not even in any universe.

[Kalila]

Same.

[Rosebud Baker]

And there's no way it's me in any universe.

[Kalila]

I'm a little scared of everything.

[Rosebud Baker]

I don't fight the TSA agent. I don't find the bank teller. I don't fight Spectrum. I am scared of authority.

[Blair Saki]

I am.

[Rosebud Baker]

I. I don't.

[Esther Povitsky]

You will fight. I fight all of those people.

[Blair Saki]

Who are you kidding? Who have I ever gotten a fight with?

[Esther Povitsky]

I was thinking of a stranger more as, like, an acquaintance. I don't know why I was thinking of, like, an acquaintance. Like, somebody that, like, works, like, in our world.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, I am.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, not out loud.

[Blair Saki]

Oh. This is a fight with a stranger.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. Yes. You're right. You're right. I'll own that 100%.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know me. It's like, eat it and then turn. It'll turn into cancer ten years from now.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. No, no. Now I've. Now. You're right. You're right.

[Blair Saki]

I feel like you would get in a fight, and I would have to come in as the enforcer and actually fight.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, that might. That would.

[Kalila]

But in my head, I have this different picture of you that you would. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You would save me. Yes. Which I have before when someone has done something and I'd be like, you can't talk to her that way.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

That's where I come from. That's exactly how I am.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm your security guard.

[Kalila]

Yeah. That's why I did put that. But you're right. I would fight for, like, to save $5 from spectrum if I felt that.

[Blair Saki]

One of my loved ones was threatened in any way, especially a girlfriend. Like, I'll turn into a person I don't even know.

[Esther Povitsky]

Recognize.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Everyone lost.

[Unknown]

Who is the most emotionally intelligent?

[Esther Povitsky]

These are brutal ass questions. This is like Real Housewives.

[Kalila]

I'm going to say I think it's a close race.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's pretty close because we're both in therapy. But you output. Me, too.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. But it's a close relationship.

[Rosebud Baker]

Very close.

[Blair Saki]

I say both of us.

[Esther Povitsky]

I was gonna say that, too, but that's.

[Blair Saki]

I. I really feel it's equal.

[Rosebud Baker]

You guys, this is a. This is a competition.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. That's. We're not playing the game. Right.

[Blair Saki]

I'm sorry. I'm autistic. I'm extremely literal. Like, I. That's the only way I think is extremely literal.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. Okay. All right. We'll just take the loss on that.

[Blair Saki]

I think it's both of us.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think you got.

[Unknown]

You guys both put both.

[Esther Povitsky]

Because she said it and I. I agreed. So if we're thinking literally, then we lost that one.

[Rosebud Baker]

Don't worry. We never get these games right. It's always these questions.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, next question.

[Unknown]

Who is more likely to be featured.

[Rosebud Baker]

On Dateline as a criminal or an investigator? A victim or a victim.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's easy. I'm going to say Blair.

[Blair Saki]

I'm going to say Blair.

[Rosebud Baker]

I. And I. My answer has a reason, and there's only one reason. I put Esther because she's so tiny.

[Esther Povitsky]

I 100% would agree with Esther.

[Kalila]

And I just. Because I'm too scared to put myself.

[Esther Povitsky]

I would definitely say Esther. It's definitely Esther.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just because of your size. That's all.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, an overall vibe.

[Kalila]

All right, what's the damage?

[Unknown]

What is the score tied?

[Esther Povitsky]

It's tied. Oh, do we have a tiebreaker question?

[Unknown]

We have a tiebreaker question.

[Esther Povitsky]

Don't. Don't talk about it.

[Blair Saki]

Fine.

[Esther Povitsky]

Pick one.

[Blair Saki]

Maybe.

[Unknown]

Who is more likely to ask for their food back at a restaurant?

[Esther Povitsky]

Ask for their food back.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, sorry. Send it back.

[Esther Povitsky]

Send it back.

[Blair Saki]

That's easy.

[Rosebud Baker]

This is so easy.

[Blair Saki]

Yes.

[Rosebud Baker]

I put Esther.

[Esther Povitsky]

I put.

[Blair Saki]

I put Rosebud.

[Kalila]

Of course. I don't know when I don't send.

[Esther Povitsky]

My food back and I'll do it. I'll be mad, too, while I'm doing it.

[Blair Saki]

The first time she did it, I've never been more shocked by anything in my life. I was so shocked, I almost fell off the chair. My jaw is still on the ground. In Austin, Texas.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Our biggest fight had to do because she asked the barista, what kind of oat milk do you have? And then can I see the box and look at the ingredients? And I just, like, I exited the coffee shop.

[Kalila]

She left her body. It was, like, insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

And then I remember saying things like, I have to go to Patagonia. And, like, I just, like, took off for the rest of the day.

[Kalila]

I was shocked by. Because it's like we had been so close for so long, but I'm like, oh, I think that might have been our first time a coffee shop together. So it was like she was blindsided.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'd ordered a steak salad, and they put a. A giant steak on top of a salad. Literally just threw the full steak on it. And I took one bite out of it, and I was like. And I called him back, and I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever Tasted in my life.

[Blair Saki]

And she likes her steak burnt to hell. And I like it almost living.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was so gross. I still remember that steak. It was fucking offensive.

[Kalila]

Restaurants are so shaky.

[Esther Povitsky]

Greedy. They really are.

[Rosebud Baker]

What would you do?

[Blair Saki]

I would. Incredible. I love paying 50 for this. You want some more money?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Okay, so we're still tied to one last question.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh.

[Unknown]

Who is more likely to get arrested?

[Blair Saki]

That's easy.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't feel that's easy.

[Blair Saki]

I do. Don't overthink it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. I just put Rosebud.

[Blair Saki]

I put Rosebud.

[Rosebud Baker]

Well, yeah, I put Kalila.

[Kalila]

Yay.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Who is more likely to be a cult leader?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, a cult leader.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. Not a cult follower.

[Rosebud Baker]

I got my.

[Blair Saki]

I'm going Rosebud.

[Esther Povitsky]

I was gonna say Blair.

[Rosebud Baker]

I went Esther. Esther, yes.

[Kalila]

I'm definitely gonna be a my little.

[Rosebud Baker]

Baby Jesus over there.

[Esther Povitsky]

I said Blair because you're in into that stuff. I.

[Blair Saki]

But I don't like. I don't tell people what to do. Anything anyone wants to do.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm like, I know if I had to pick, I would have said Blair. But I don't think either of us.

[Kalila]

But I'm definitely a cult.

[Rosebud Baker]

He's a cult leader.

[Kalila]

One day, like, you guys will be getting a pamphlet from me. You're going to like the pamphlet.

[Blair Saki]

Can't wait to see this.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's going to be a hell of.

[Blair Saki]

A pamphlet of you. This is going to be incredible.

[Kalila]

You're going to be on board. Trust me.

[Unknown]

You guys won, I think for the first time ever.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wow.

[Rosebud Baker]

Wow.

[Blair Saki]

After I said we were saying.

[Esther Povitsky]

You really. You sealed the deal for us, huh?

[Rosebud Baker]

I really do love that you guys are so the opposite of each other because I don't think there are more opposite people in Esther and I. And I think there's a reason why that works. It's like you do need that other energy.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's like your mirror. You know what I mean?

[Blair Saki]

When you look at them and you soften her and she toughens me.

[Esther Povitsky]

I like being around softer people. I do. Because I feel like it's the thing that I'm working towards where I don't have to like, what is it like counter dependence where you're. It's the opposite. It's codependence in a different way where it's like you are afraid to ask for anything that you need, so you do it all yourself and you do and you just sort of like muscle your way through. I'm trying to, like, get better about that and I'm trying To like, you know, when I'm with Minnow, it's like I want her to be able to see the softer side of me and I want to that to be accessible to her. But it won't be if it's not accessible to me.

[Kalila]

I'm really good therapist.

[Blair Saki]

Wow.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm trying to work on it.

[Blair Saki]

Really helped you a lot actually.

[Esther Povitsky]

ChatGPT said that to me.

[Blair Saki]

It's true though. I feel like I learned because I'm the exact same way. Like I'll never ask for anything and I've learned to be able to do that through you.

[Kalila]

Well, you're going on tour.

[Blair Saki]

I am. I started my full tour in two weeks. Please come. It's gonna be a lot of fun. It's gonna be a lot of fun. We're gonna have a lot of laughs out there on the road. Many cities. So buy those tickets up.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm going to be on the road as well. Tickets [e-mail] I'm going to be in London this summer. I'm going to be in Berlin, which is exciting, but also all over the States.

[Kalila]

Rosebud. Where is, where are your tickets? I mean, you're not Rose.

[Esther Povitsky]

Can I say watch my special? Yeah, watch my special.

[Blair Saki]

Oh yeah. It's so good. The Motherland special.

[Esther Povitsky]

So good.

[Kalila]

I, I forget about it cuz I feel like I watched it in five minutes. Like it went by so fast.

[Blair Saki]

Your special is, Wasn't it so tight?

[Kalila]

It's unbelievable.

[Blair Saki]

Like not one extraneous word was just.

[Rosebud Baker]

So, so funny and such a cool thing that you did before and after.

[Esther Povitsky]

Thank you. I was like, there's some people that have made it known that they don't like that. I didn't give a heads up. But listen, when I was editing it, I was like, do I give a disclaimer? And then I, I, I saw a cut of it with the disclaimer and I was like, this feels like a true crime opening. Like I was like, you can't have text on a screen without somebody getting murdered immediately afterwards. So I was like, the people that are going to get it are going to get it and the people that don't. I don't give a. Yeah, but I'm proud of it. So go watch it. It's called the Mother Load. It's on Netflix streaming now.

[Kalila]

I can't believe I didn't open with that. Like, your special is my favorite special I've ever seen. It's so I again, I feel like it was like I started it in. It was over because it was so good and this goes by so fast.

[Esther Povitsky]

Thank you so much.

[Kalila]

Can you do another one? Like really soon?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Kalila]

Like waiting.

[Esther Povitsky]

For sure. Yeah. No, I mean, I have absolutely nothing. But we'll get, we'll take care of that on the road.

[Kalila]

And wait, where are your tickets?

[Blair Saki]

Oh, mine are@blair saki.com and also punchup Live. Blair Saki. I'll be in Denver in two weeks. Missouri, Sacramento, San Francisco, Portland, Dallas though everywhere.

[Kalila]

Kyla has a hair care [e-mail] which has been truly.

[Esther Povitsky]

I need an. I need to get another one of the spray bottles.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'll send you.

[Kalila]

People love that.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I'm buying it.

[Blair Saki]

Incredible.

[Rosebud Baker]

Whatever you want.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's amazing. I've been bringing it on the road with me everywhere because the, you know, I can't fit the shampoo and conditioner in the thing, but when I bring that spray bottle, I use that shitty hotel shampoo and conditioner and it's like if I. As long as I use the spray bottle, like, it's fine.

[Rosebud Baker]

We're coming out with a travel kit too. So cute.

[Esther Povitsky]

Amazing.

[Rosebud Baker]

So, so cute.

[Kalila]

Is that for all the standup comedians?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes, for all my girlies on the road.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's what we need.

[Blair Saki]

No, we talk about it all the time, how much we love those products. Amazing.

[Esther Povitsky]

It smells so good too.

[Rosebud Baker]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

You guys. Sluggies, thank you for being here. Comment. You know the things that we need to hear. We love you and as always, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. And we also have a Patreon. You can check it out the link below.

[Blair Saki]

Thanks for having us.

[Esther Povitsky]

Thanks guys.

[Kalila]

That was so fun.