Going Deep w/ Rudy Jules, Gilbert Galon & Jollibee!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Episode: Going Deep w/ Rudy Jules, Gilbert Galon & Jollibee!
Release Date: January 28, 2025

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In this engaging episode of Trash Tuesday, hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn delve into a deep and personal conversation with their guest Rudy Jules and Gilbert Galon, exploring themes of childhood trauma, cultural nuances, personal growth, and the complexities of relationships. The episode, titled "Going Deep w/ Rudy Jules, Gilbert Galon & Jollibee!", offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the lives of these individuals, blending humor with heartfelt discussions.

1. Opening Anecdotes and Personal Trauma ([00:00] - [02:45])

The episode kicks off with Khalyla sharing a bizarre childhood memory: "I used to hold my poo for pleasure. And I used to do it under a baby grand piano." This peculiar confession sets the tone for the episode's exploration of personal and often uncomfortable topics. Gilbert introduces the idea of their Patreon community, highlighting their desire to share more intimate aspects of their lives while supporting neighbors affected by fires.

2. Cultural Context and Personal Hygiene ([03:06] - [17:01])

As the conversation progresses, Khalyla and Gilbert delve into Filipino cultural practices, particularly around personal hygiene. Gilbert humorously explains their unique approach to using the bathroom: "This is how we shit on toilets." He describes the deep squat method, emphasizing its hygiene benefits while acknowledging the drawbacks like back splashes and excessive toilet paper use.

Khalyla recounts her challenging experiences with potty training, highlighting the lack of proper guidance: "I was never trained... My mom would have to come and wipe for me." This discussion underscores the broader theme of childhood trauma and the lasting impact of inadequate parental support.

3. High School Struggles and Body Image ([17:07] - [43:35])

The hosts and guests shift focus to high school experiences, particularly the challenges of body image and bullying. Khalyla shares her traumatic memories of being ridiculed for her weight, recounting how persistent teasing led her to withdraw emotionally: "I just kept crying in the bedroom." Gilbert reflects on how these experiences fostered a façade of humor and energy to mask deeper insecurities.

A pivotal moment in the conversation involves Khalyla revealing her struggle with academic dishonesty and eventual realization: "I was living a lie... I needed to stop living this lie." This admission highlights the internal conflict between performing for acceptance and grappling with genuine self-identity.

4. Filipino Courtship Traditions and Relationship Dynamics ([44:04] - [77:45])

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Filipino courtship traditions and their clashes with American cultural norms. Gilbert explains the intricate stages of Filipino courtship, emphasizing the formal and respectful approach: "You have to ask permission to court... it's a grand gesture of love." Khalyla and Jules share anecdotes about awkward attempts to integrate these traditions in American settings, leading to humorous yet telling situations.

The conversation touches on the concept of "harana" (serenading) and the pressure of maintaining cultural authenticity while navigating Western dating landscapes. Jules recalls her attempts to perform grand gestures, such as using confetti during dances, only to face rejection or misunderstanding: "She was like, 'We're just friends.'" This segment underscores the complexities of cultural hybridity in personal relationships.

5. Navigating Adult Life and Emotional Availability ([77:14] - [77:45])

Towards the end of the episode, Khalyla and Gilbert reflect on their adult transformations and the enduring fragments of their past selves. Gilbert muses, "You have spent your entire, like, young adult life, maybe not so much anymore, using or, like, deflecting." Khalyla acknowledges the progression towards emotional availability, yet admits that parts of their past habits persist: "They can kind of seep up. I think we can both see that in each other."

Notable Quotes:

• Khalyla: "I used to hold my poo for pleasure. And I used to do it under a baby grand piano." ([00:00])
• Gilbert: "This is how we shit on toilets." ([11:57])
• Khalyla: "I was living a lie... I needed to stop living this lie." ([64:44])
• Gilbert: "You have to ask permission to court... it's a grand gesture of love." ([44:29])
• Jules: "She was like, 'We're just friends.'" ([38:57])

Conclusion:

Trash Tuesday masterfully balances humor with deep, introspective conversations, allowing listeners to connect with the hosts and guests on a profound level. By addressing topics ranging from childhood trauma and cultural traditions to personal growth and relationship challenges, Khalyla Kuhn and Esther Povitsky create a space for authentic dialogue and relatable storytelling. This episode not only entertains but also invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences and cultural dynamics.

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Note: This summary is based on the provided transcript of the episode and aims to encapsulate the essence and key discussions for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[Kalila]

Where's my camera? I used to hold my poo for pleasure. And I used to do it under a baby grand piano. Is there any follow ups or do you want me just to stop there for pleasure? For pleasure.

[Jules]

So you like you do while holding your poo.

[Gilbert]

Oh, she thinks you're jerking up.

[Kalila]

Okay, well, you should stop watching porn because that's a wild way to leap.

[Jules]

But pleasure, that's what I think.

[Kalila]

I'm talking about the pain. Oh, why would say.

[Gilbert]

You guys, guess what? We started a Patreon. For the longest time, we've always wanted to share more, even more of our lives with you. And I think that Patreon is a perfect space for that. We're so excited that so many of you have already signed up. Plus all of the proceeds go to my Altadena neighbors who have recently been affected by the fires. I think you're gonna love what you find there. It's sort of our secret sluggy space, our little secret social club. I hope to see you there. And we're really excited that we now have a space for all our even deeper, darker secrets. And shout out to our golden slugs. This month we have Thomas Shepard, Kia Carbasi, Anthony Pagano, Ron Perillo, Chrysantha Kelly and Ariel Rosso. Thank you golden sluggies. We love you so much and we hope if you haven't already signed up for the Patreon, we hope to see you there soon. Shop Skims Best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and [e-mail] and skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift for your valentine or for yourself, Skims just launched their best valentine shop ever. Available in sizes for women, men and kids for a limited time. Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals plus free dessert for life and of course free shipping. On your first box, go to homechef.com TrashTuesday that's homechef.com TrashTuesday for 18 free meals and free dessert for life. Homechef.com TrashTuesday must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Hi guys, my name is Kalila. If you thought we were shipwrecked last week and the week before because what my face is crooked. Face paralysis, Fires.

[Kalila]

Displaced.

[Gilbert]

Displaced. If you thought it was bad, then guess what, My co host is out. She's come down with AKA Chorro, I think in Spanish.

[Kalila]

I'm not Mexican, so don't look at me. Can we please replay her face like she was asking me, like I was a Mexican. Right. Okay, thank you.

[Gilbert]

AKA green apple splatters, AKA norovirus, AKA it's everywhere right now, so don't touch me. And today we have very special guests. If you can already guess by the jollibee spread on the table, this is a specifically Filipino episode.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Gilbert]

With the two flattest faces.

[Kalila]

Whoa, whoa, pause. Who are the two flattest faces here? There's three of us.

[Gilbert]

You know, I'm Filipino, but my face is a little unflat.

[Kalila]

Well, well, when one's face starts to pull down, it creates a flatter Persona. So I would say you might be the flattest.

[Gilbert]

Right. Let's just say there's. I shouldn't be roasting people's faces right now. I can't even close my eye yet.

[Kalila]

No, your face is nice. It has topography. Yours also does have topography.

[Jules]

You have to know mine is very flat.

[Gilbert]

That's a really, really weird way to say it. Your face has. Topography is so insulting. Anyways, you guys, I have Gilbert here. He's my brother. My one of the OG not one of.

[Kalila]

It's the OG I'm the OG with.

[Gilbert]

Her Tiger Belly crew from day one. My A one and my other A one. The other Flat face, Jules, also known as the hardest working person in podcasting.

[Kalila]

Yeah, right before this POD podcast, we were talking about how, Jules, on every.

[Gilbert]

Single podcast, you really have been, I think more than anyone, Jules, like, what aren't you on?

[Kalila]

I don't know what that Tiger Belly Trash Tuesday. Bad friends, the dropouts.

[Jules]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

She's so. She hates the attention.

[Gilbert]

Welcome, Jules.

[Jules]

Hello.

[Gilbert]

I. I do want to start off by saying thank you to our sponsor.

[Kalila]

Sponsor Jollibee. We didn't pay for this. They sent it over.

[Gilbert]

They didn't send it over. And I don't know if I can't figure out if Jollibee is truly good or if I'm just nostalgic for it. Like, if it is jollibee objectively good for someone who's tasted it for the first time, or am I just like feeling fondly about the flavors because it reminds me of home? What do you think it is, Jules?

[Kalila]

I think we start with the Filipinos from the Philippines first.

[Jules]

I've seen so many reviews on TikTok where, like, white people try it for the first time, and they always love.

[Gilbert]

It, but white people have feel the pressure to like it. Yeah, imagine if they were like, peewee brown people food, like, they'd get that.

[Kalila]

That's a wild TikTok people food.

[Jules]

Except Benny Blanc. Or did you see that he.

[Kalila]

What was his review? Oh, jolly. He didn't like jollibee, right?

[Jules]

He spit out the spaghetti.

[Gilbert]

He spat it out.

[Kalila]

And I think to his defense, it's, like, sweet. So if you're expecting something savory, if that's all you know about spaghetti, that's shocking.

[Gilbert]

I. I'm going to push back on that by saying, you got to know what you're walking into. If you don't already go into a Philippine Filipino place knowing that our spaghetti is sweet, you're a ding dong. Like, no, like, you know what I mean?

[Kalila]

She's working for this sponsorship. She's working hard for this. She's working hard. Her traps are like, why did your traps go? You know what you're walking into if you're walking to a Filipino restaurant.

[Gilbert]

Hey, Veggie blanco. Veggie blanco.

[Kalila]

Oh, it's. I know what you mean.

[Gilbert]

It's like going into a Korean place and then being like, what is this to kimchi. Our spaghetti is sweet. It's just. That's sort of like a factual thing you have to know about Filipino spaghetti.

[Kalila]

Right? It's delicious. But I can understand why it's shocking when you first taste it.

[Gilbert]

It's shocking because of the red. The red hot dogs would probably. Red dye number five, which is.

[Kalila]

Which is banned.

[Jules]

It's banned already.

[Kalila]

No, that's red dye number three. It's different.

[Jules]

Oh, so hot dog is still fine? Red hot dog?

[Kalila]

I think so. Yeah.

[Gilbert]

I. I don't think so, guys. Jules, the problem with your bulldog diet is that that's the reason why you don't. For three years, you're still doing that.

[Jules]

No, I. Stop. I try. I. I'm trying because she saw a.

[Gilbert]

Picture of herself, and her face was so puffy, and she, like, had a. She crashed out.

[Jules]

Damn, it was so soft.

[Kalila]

I can't look like this for Ralph Barboza. He's going to send me so puffy. You outed her, bro.

[Gilbert]

What did I say? That she thought he was cute. Ralph Barbosa is cute, and he's going to be on Trash Tuesday.

[Kalila]

Oh, really?

[Gilbert]

Yeah. You want to be on that one?

[Kalila]

No, no, no. She's like. Doesn't eat bulldog her whole life.

[Gilbert]

Jules, here's our mission for today.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Gilbert]

So our mission today is. Oh, by the way, we're in the home of the most generous person I've ever met. Gene Hong, who has currently taken me and my family in because we're displaced by the fire. So shout out to Gene. I really appreciate shout out, Gene, but how long have you been podcasting, Gil? How long have we been doing this?

[Kalila]

Well, this September will be one decade.

[Gilbert]

An entire decade. Let's just think about this one second. An entire decade of doing this. Every single 10 years. 10 years. And no one has really scratched the surface with Gilbert. No, no one really knows him. And I can't figure if it's because he's not gonna give it away or if. Because we just haven't taken the time to really, like, dig deep. So our mission today, Jules, is a hard hitting question.

[Kalila]

I'm here exclusively on Trash Tuesday to give you all the answers.

[Gilbert]

You heard that, guys?

[Kalila]

Flip that.

[Gilbert]

You heard that, Jollibee.

[Kalila]

I like dick.

[Gilbert]

Let's start with that.

[Kalila]

Are you a gay man?

[Jules]

But that's my question.

[Kalila]

No, it's not your question. Take it back.

[Jules]

Oh, like, the first time I met you, like me, mama, like my sister. We were like, oh, is Gilbert, like, gay?

[Kalila]

Oh, interesting.

[Jules]

Or like, asexual?

[Gilbert]

Why did you go asexual?

[Kalila]

Asexual is weird. I can. I. You can tell who someone's asexual.

[Gilbert]

You literally give off zero sexual energy.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'm not asexual. I'm either gay or not. That's it. I'm a flaming homo or I'm just a chill, straight guy.

[Jules]

But you have a wife.

[Kalila]

Thank you.

[Gilbert]

So did Alan Turing, and he was gay his whole life.

[Kalila]

Asked me some questions. See if I'm gay. Ask me about my childhood.

[Gilbert]

Okay, here. Here are a few things I know about you when you were younger. About me when you were younger. You used to. For fun, hold your poo.

[Kalila]

How do you remember these details?

[Gilbert]

I'm an elephant. I. When someone tells me, like, like dirty things about themselves. Yeah, I write that in my little journal just so I can hold it over their heads. Like in the. In the future, I'm gonna be like, don't talk. I know you used to hold your in.

[Kalila]

I used to hold. Where's my camera? I used to hold my poo for pleasure. And I used to do it under a baby grand piano. Is there any follow ups or do you want me just to stop there? Go ahead, Jules.

[Jules]

Ask for pleasure.

[Kalila]

For pleasure.

[Jules]

So you like you do while holding your poo.

[Gilbert]

Oh, she thinks you're jerking up.

[Kalila]

Okay, well, you should stop watching porn, because that's a wild way to leave. But pleasure. That's why I think I'm talking about the pain.

[Gilbert]

Oh, why say, Gilbert, you're like a traumatized person. Wait, hang on one second.

[Kalila]

Let me defend myself.

[Gilbert]

You don't have to. Because I think it's honestly genuine, genuinely like part of like the. It's the Freudian anal stage.

[Kalila]

Here's what it is. It's the sway. It doesn't feel good to be in and actually does not feel good.

[Gilbert]

But walk us step by step. Let's start in the beginning.

[Kalila]

I haven't done it in a long time. I should revisit it just to see why. But I do remember. Okay. Here. I think I know what the root is. This is actually the root. I. I don't know if I've said this on camera, but I was a late stage potty trained kid.

[Gilbert]

What does that mean? Explain to me so I don't make the same mistake.

[Kalila]

Let's paint a picture. Let's paint a picture here. I. Let's say a friend came over, right? And I'm in second grade.

[Gilbert]

Okay.

[Kalila]

How old is second grade?

[Gilbert]

Like eight.

[Kalila]

Eight, right. Seven, eight.

[Jules]

Maybe eight.

[Kalila]

A friend would come over and we'd be playing and then I'll be like, oh, I gotta go to my. I gotta go to the bathroom. And I'll go to the bathroom. I'll do my, my squat because I squatted on the toilet. And after.

[Gilbert]

Can we show the audience? I'm going to give you guys. So I used to think this was just Filipinos from the Philippines. I don't want you to do it because you might snap your Achilles.

[Kalila]

That's a fucking challenge.

[Gilbert]

I use. Oh, there you can. So this is how we shit on toilets.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

And I think that people are really freaked out by that. And I think it's the most hygienic way because we don't like plop our butts on the, the toilet seat.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

So no germs come in contact our feet.

[Kalila]

It just sucks for the person after pre squatty. Potty, basically.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. But it sucks for the person after because then they have to sit on our foot marks. Right. But this is how we poo is like this. In a deep squat over the toilet. The distance from the butt to the water is a little high.

[Kalila]

It's high, it's tough.

[Gilbert]

So there is more back splashes.

[Kalila]

Maybe just splashes.

[Gilbert]

So there is a risk to that.

[Kalila]

So that's why you put toilet paper down so it lands like a.

[Gilbert]

But you have to put a lot. That's wasteful, that's not environmental.

[Kalila]

I never did that. I took the splash I bet you like the splash. I do a whole roll for one poop.

[Gilbert]

Okay, so. Okay.

[Kalila]

So here. Okay. So paint the picture. I'd go into the bathroom. I'm with my friend second grade. I'd be like, oh, I'll be right back. I got to take a dunk. Let me say that I got to use the bathroom. I'll do my poop. This is second grade. I don't know how to wipe. So what I have to do, which is why I never had a lot of play dates at other people's houses. My mom would be there. I go, hey, Mom, I need help with something. I would scream, oh, you're mama's boy. Yeah, I would scream. My mom would have to come and wipe for me. This is like six or seven years old.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kalila]

I was never. I was never trained. So I think. Because before that, when I was younger, and I do the whole. That whole story about what? They were all looking for me during hide and seek, and I was just in the. I was under a grandpano in a plank position, sweating, smiling. Just picture this. Just think of me wet. Ready or not, here I come.

[Gilbert]

Gilbert, wait. So it was. It was a shame thing that turned into a pleasure.

[Kalila]

Now you're making me connect a lot of things. I think part of it was I just didn't know what to do if there was poop in my body.

[Gilbert]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

So I think it was more just like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. So I think I was just holding it.

[Gilbert]

If your mom wasn't around to help you.

[Kalila]

No, my mom wasn't around to help me. I think I was just holding it. Also, we were playing hide and seek, so I think there was also an element now of trauma, of, like, not trying to get found. So it's a little like you thought.

[Gilbert]

You connected the dots, but it makes no sense. It makes no sense. Nothing makes sense.

[Kalila]

I don't know why I was smiling.

[Gilbert]

I don't know why you enjoyed it so much, but I will say the sweat felt good.

[Kalila]

I think it's like a sauna. I think that's what it is because now I do a lot of sauna every day, and it feels. Feels so good to sweat. I think that's what it was, truly biohacking early on.

[Gilbert]

I. I don't think that's a biohack, because truly, there's nothing more torturous than having to hold my in.

[Jules]

I think we have the same problem.

[Kalila]

No, it's gift.

[Jules]

Oh, gift. I think walking through yours. Because even when I was a kid, I would always hold it. And then I would always remember Atikalai. Like, my mom said that I would always hide behind a tree and hold my pool.

[Kalila]

Philippines trees, America, baby grand pianos similar.

[Jules]

And I wouldn't say anything to anyone. I would just hold it.

[Gilbert]

I just want to let the audience know that not all Filipinos are like, we're not all, like, tell the truth.

[Kalila]

Have you held your poo before?

[Gilbert]

No, but I will say that I thoroughly enjoy pooing.

[Kalila]

Like, me too.

[Gilbert]

Like, there have been poos where my eyes roll back.

[Kalila]

Not me. Hey, not me. Weirdo.

[Gilbert]

But you know what I mean. There is, like, a sense of relief. But no, I, I, I do know that there is, like, an anal stage in, like, the Freudian stages.

[Kalila]

Explain that.

[Jules]

No, but I get the feeling that there's, like, a sharp pain and it's nice.

[Gilbert]

Oh, okay.

[Kalila]

And then that's in the release. Feels fantastic.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. You know, this is where Esther comes in handy, because she would have cut this poop talk so short.

[Kalila]

She would have been like, and guess what? I'd be under a piano and she'd be behind a tree, outside.

[Gilbert]

And so, like, when did you finally learn to, like, wipe yourself?

[Kalila]

I think it was that same year. I think that actually, I really don't remember exactly. But I do remember being then feeling shame about it and then more so feeling, like, embarrassed by, like, my mom. But I didn't think it was, like, a weird thing because I guess they just never told me how to do it, because if I did, I'm actually shocked. I don't know when I learned how to wipe my ass. Do you actually remember?

[Gilbert]

No, but I do remember pulling, like, a worm out and then, like.

[Kalila]

Not my question. No, but my question.

[Gilbert]

This is related.

[Kalila]

Kalila does it. This is how she reveals things about her asshole.

[Gilbert]

This is related because this was also the same age I remember. This was the same year. I remember my mom washing me for the last time, helping me wash down there for the last time. Because, you know, when you're younger, like, your parents, like, obviously, you know, scrub a dub or whatever.

[Kalila]

Filipinos, the worst.

[Gilbert]

Yeah, they go real hard.

[Kalila]

My dad was in charge. He was the one. He would take his thumb. I just, I'm just showering by myself. I can do it. He comes and says, you are so dirty. And he'll take his thumb and then.

[Gilbert]

Oh, yeah, look good.

[Kalila]

Till, like, skin and the dirt comes off.

[Gilbert]

It has. You have to guild. Come on. I think it's abuse, especially inside. Here, Right, Jules?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gilbert]

And you live in, like, the.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but it's scary when you're just showering. You know how to do it, and your dad just comes in. You're, like, 12. It's like, stop.

[Gilbert]

No, you have to. You really have to scrub. Well, I will say, like, I do remember that that was the year that my mom stopped, like, helping me wash. And it was also the year I got worms and had to pull worms out, like, on my own. And I did have shame around that because I was like, oh, yeah. But also I had shame around the fact that, like. Like, they were fun to have.

[Jules]

Yeah, I remember.

[Kalila]

See how she was shaming us for, like.

[Gilbert]

I know.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God, you guys hold your poop. And that's pleasurable. And she's like, I like to store worms in my.

[Gilbert]

This. This.

[Kalila]

It was fun.

[Gilbert]

Store them.

[Kalila]

So you. Lady.

[Gilbert]

You're right. Lice are fun. Worms are fun. Go ahead, Jules.

[Jules]

But I remember, like, all my cousins at the. In Marigundon where I live, like, they would just be sitting and playing, and then there was worms, dude.

[Kalila]

Yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean, sitting down and playing?

[Jules]

Like, somewhere. Like, my cousin was sitting, and we were playing, and he was just looking, and then he was. He felt something, and then he. He just grabbed, like, his butt. And then there were words.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

Because I.

[Kalila]

It was such a. I don't know how that happens. You were kind of ignorant to this. I have no idea how that happened.

[Gilbert]

No, it was so, like, a common thing in, like, for us back home. And then you would take.

[Kalila]

Was it because of food? Right?

[Gilbert]

No, I think I was just either a dirty kid. I put a lot of things in my mouth. And I think generally, when you're that age, you are prone to worms. Like, I don't think that's just a Filipino. We're making it sound like our. Our people are worms.

[Kalila]

This was sponsored by Jollibee Chicken Joy. Back to you, Kalila.

[Gilbert]

Okay, so that's that stage in your life Guild.

[Kalila]

Okay. I'm familiar with what are we doing again? This is the premise of why you thought I was gay or you thought it was gay. That's the premise, right?

[Gilbert]

No, no, no. That's a separate question. We'll get to that. We're going. We're going through a Gilbert timeline here. These are the things I know about.

[Kalila]

Oh, yes. Yeah. This is the poop. 1k. Got it.

[Gilbert]

Okay, so I know the very specific poop thing about you. And you get older in life, and then you find yourself As a teenager.

[Kalila]

Oh.

[Gilbert]

And you start to have feelings of maybe not loving your body so much.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Gilbert]

And feeling, like, insecure in that. And what. What is teenage Gilbert like? And what when you look back at him now, like, do you feel like, what are your thoughts about him?

[Kalila]

Man. I've done an exercise where someone asked me about that. You know, you tell your stories, your joke stories that I actually sat with it one day and I was like, let me just think about it. I remember just crying.

[Gilbert]

Oh, no.

[Kalila]

Mostly because I felt bad of how I thought and narratives I put on myself. I. Okay, so chubby Gilbert, my whole life, big ass areolas. Can you explain what areolas for the audience. Yeah, you're a mute. Just draw it. Big old sand dollars on my chest.

[Gilbert]

It's my favorite part about your body size.

[Kalila]

Those are not that big. I get bellows. They're not sand dollars. They're.

[Jules]

Is it still big now?

[Kalila]

I mean.

[Jules]

It'S.

[Kalila]

Okay, Blur that whole thing out.

[Gilbert]

I.

[Kalila]

But I remember I was one of those kids that wear the T shirt when you go to the pool. I just remember thinking, like, I just don't want to get made fun of because my cousins. All we did growing up is just make fun of each other as a way of, like, loving in a way. Like all the uncles make fun of us, the aunties make fun of us.

[Gilbert]

But is that loving, though?

[Kalila]

No, But I guess trying to. How we perceive that to be like we're connecting. Right. Roasting each other.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. I feel like that's very much Filipino coded it like we're cruel to each other. And it's like kids are not spared either. Like, at least in our family, it's. It's like you. You have to take it in the chin and you're not given an option. And if you cry, they will double down and harder. So it's almost like you take it in the chin and then you cry privately and you just sort of, like, wear that pain for, like, your whole life until it turns into a cancer as an adult, you know?

[Kalila]

Can I jump a little further? In high school, really quick?

[Gilbert]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Before I forget this, I've told this story. Maybe, like, maybe just once, I told it to actually David and Nick, but because you said cry alone in your room. So I was in a marching band, right?

[Gilbert]

You were in marching band.

[Kalila]

I was in marching band. Band. Nerd. Hardcore. Got so many sad stories in that and so many amazing stories, too, but in a marching band. Freshman year, band camp. Right. So you. You actually go with your group you leave your parents, you pack a bag in for a week. You're just training for the next, like, the next year's show. And I remember there were these guys who are my friends that I met from middle school, and we all kind of transitioned from eighth grade to freshman year. So we'd all hang out with each other. But these dudes would rag on me so, so, so hard about my weight. But then it, like, shifted where I was so good at laughing it off and not showing. Like, I was affected by it. They would like. Then they shifted it to my. My family, my mom.

[Gilbert]

Oh, no.

[Kalila]

So it's. It's crazy because I remember it was like, yeah, you were so fat. Blah, blah, blah. I'd be like, yeah, wasn't helping my case, right? But then they. They came up with this bit, I guess, that was like calling my mom, like, triple X Fatty. So they'd be like, yo, mom's Triple X fat. You can find photos of Gilbert's fat mom on Triple X fatty dot com. So we'd be like, in the cafeteria, and every time I'm walking from the. To the table, they'd be like, triple X fatty. Triple X Fatty. Which is also a wild website if it's just my mom naked. And it's called Triple X Fatties one Fatty. But I remember that happening. And it got to the point so, like, where it got so intense where I was like, oh, I gotta bounce, guys. And then we have, like, free time, right? So instead of, like, playing basketball, hanging out with everyone, I remember went back to the dorms. And then I locked the door and I played Sean Paul's Give Me the Light really loud so people couldn't hear me. And I just kept crying in the bedroom. Your response is so much different than David's.

[Gilbert]

Well, why? Just give me the light.

[Kalila]

I brought one CD or two CDs. It was Will Smith's album and Sean Paul's. So all you would hear is like, just give me the light. Pass the.

[Gilbert]

Oh, wait, Gil.

[Kalila]

So I just blasted. People wouldn't hear me.

[Gilbert]

Wait. I know this is only maybe one story out of maybe so many, but this, truly now it's connecting the dots for me because.

[Kalila]

Oh, come on. Let me see how you do this.

[Gilbert]

It literally couldn't be clearer as day in my mind. I love you because I always say, like, gilbert's my ray of sunshine. Have I said that my whole life since, for as long as we've known each other, I'm like, he's my ray of sunshine. He walks into your room. He always puts me in a better mood. And I literally think you have spent your entire, like, young adult life, maybe not so much anymore, using or, like, deflecting, like, absolutely. You do not want to go deep, so you just come in, like, full energy so that, like. And then you, you, you. It's almost like this barrier. It's like, if I'm funny, if I'm loud, if I'm just obnoxious, this and that. They'll never really kind of touch my pain. And I think now it all makes sense. It's like one of my biggest difficulties with you in the beginning. It's like, I love Gilbert. How come I don't know him?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

You know, and it's like you just never let anyone in. But, like, you're so great to be around. And, like, obviously things have changed. And I know you, like, much on a much deeper level now, on a more serious level, which was so hard to get to.

[Kalila]

So funny. People say that all the time now. Like, God, you're, like, different.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. And, like, even the life advice you give me, and I'm like, whoa. Like, he's not this, like, silly, like, shallow thing anymore. Because that's what, like, our relationship was in the beginning. We would just, like, laugh and be silly, Right?

[Kalila]

Yeah. I think if you're like Cindy, my wife, she. That was one of the biggest things. I think that was the tension early on a relationship. I remember that being emotionally available, that could even still seep in now into our relationship. When I'm feeling the bandwidth is low or I'm just like, don't have. Yeah. Just any kind of bandwidth. I can see where I kind of pull away and even deflect. And it's so easy for her to see where I'll deflect and try to make. It's about something else, even joke. Make a joke and just, like, hear something. Absorb and be like, anyways. And she's like, why are you doing that right now?

[Gilbert]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And it goes back to that old thing you were talking about where it's like. It's just everything's too much sometimes. I don't know how to express.

[Gilbert]

It's from. It's maybe the reason why you are so funny and you are so, like, you know. You know, like, as Dr. Drew says, like, everything, all. Even our traumas is like, it's assets and liabilities. Right. It's a liability in that you became emotionally unavailable for X amount of time. It is an asset in that it truly made you a very funny, creative, like, light person to be around, which.

[Kalila]

I'm grateful for, because we know people that have a difficult time even doing that.

[Gilbert]

But the great thing about life is you can be both.

[Kalila]

Yeah. You.

[Gilbert]

You can be emotionally available and you can continue to be funny. And, you know, I think that, you know, you've done a lot of work in your adult life and unfortunately, your areolas are still huge.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I was like, man, if I become more mature, these will shrink. Instead, they just grew. I really broke my heart.

[Gilbert]

I low key regret, you know? He asked me to speak at his wedding.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

And guess what?

[Kalila]

I brought up Ariola and guess what the reaction was. She was like, at the Apollo that she brought the house down. She was like, everyone's like, oh, who's this hot girl that sells drugs? Because everyone else like crying. It's serious.

[Gilbert]

Bobby was so mad.

[Kalila]

Yeah. He was so mad.

[Gilbert]

He was. Bobby was so mad that I didn't bomb.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

Because he was really just like.

[Kalila]

Because I said they can both do it. I obviously, here's the transparency. I did just ask Kalila, but I was. But I did throw it out there. Like, if Bobby wants to do it with you, you could ask him. But I'm glad that it. It was the way it was.

[Gilbert]

I love your family. I love your parents. That was such a special wedding.

[Kalila]

My parents ask about you all the time.

[Gilbert]

Can I just say, I mean, when.

[Kalila]

I say all the time, during everything from Tiger Bailey, all this, they're always.

[Gilbert]

Asking about you, Your mom and I DM a lot, which is almost every.

[Kalila]

Day, which is crazy. But thank you for that. Sometimes I can't take all the dog dabs.

[Gilbert]

Why not? Give me. Your mom, like, sends me the best.

[Kalila]

So many Frenchie things that I'm like, dude, that just adopt. Stop buying dogs. That's my big thing. So I learned that from you.

[Gilbert]

What? Stop buying dogs.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. Guys, stop buying dogs.

[Kalila]

Adopt.

[Gilbert]

We got too many. And also, especially Frenchies. What the fuck are we doing? You know how you have to like. You know how they're made, right? They cannot like naturally, like populate anymore.

[Kalila]

Sad. I don't want to think about it.

[Gilbert]

Yeah, they're like turkey basement, basically.

[Kalila]

Speaking of turkey, this is bar through by Jollibee Chicken Joy. We're gonna get the sponsor.

[Gilbert]

So, Jules, now's the time to ask him hard hitting questions about his gayness.

[Jules]

No, I'm curious about. Have you ever had a girlfriend in high school?

[Kalila]

I had a. Yes. I had a girlfriend in high school. I don't want to say her name. I Almost said her name because it was very pivotal.

[Gilbert]

How was it pivotal? Like, you actually. Like, that was the first time. Like, was it.

[Kalila]

I didn't lose my virginity to her.

[Gilbert]

Oh, was it.

[Kalila]

She even your girlfriend I did for.

[Gilbert]

Or was it just in your mind?

[Kalila]

I think she was there. Janet Jackson was her name. No, she. I don't feel like. I feel like I don't want to say too. Yeah, it was a marching band girl and first sexual experiences, for sure. It was so. I played it so cool and how it all happened, but in the moment, I think a lot of guys were there. My mind is, like, exploding right now. It's like, this is fucking crazy. Like, I just remember being on a. Like, when they say marching band kids are the horniest. All us nerds.

[Gilbert]

I believe it.

[Kalila]

It's true. And, yeah, she was my first girlfriend. This was like, junior year to senior year, and. Yeah, junior year.

[Gilbert]

Did you go to prom with her?

[Kalila]

I went to prom with her, yeah. Prom and homecoming.

[Gilbert]

And you guys just decided that. No, we weren't going to.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I don't think.

[Gilbert]

Take it there.

[Kalila]

I think I tried, and I. Yeah, I definitely not gonna go there. Definitely. Yeah, I can sense it. But I did explore fully, and I don't even want to say the insane high school things I was saying to even make it happen, which was like role playing in high school. Like, oh, I'm obgyn, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Gilbert]

That is very Gilbert coded because it's very improv.

[Kalila]

It's very improv based.

[Gilbert]

One of. One of the things that really used to frighten me about you, and I mean, frighten me.

[Kalila]

Are you talking about pickup days? Yeah. Okay. So while we really just jumped. I got to tell another sad story in high school, though.

[Gilbert]

Tell. Yes. You got a couple of. No, Tell as many.

[Kalila]

Okay. This is also in marching band. This is the first time I think a girl broke my heart. And I. This is where I. This kind of leads into. We'll tell another story about the pickup artist. Why I even got into that place. This high school was the. The straight, gay best friend. Very friendly. Almost all my friends were like girls. I think part of that, too, is also just the idea of always having girls around me. Makes me look cool, even though there's, like, no sexual attraction or anything. It's almost like, in a weird way, like, look at all the girls that are my friend, but dudes are like, okay. And what else? Yeah, it was that weird feeling. We were, like, trying to posture almost in a way to be like, look who I'm surrounded by.

[Gilbert]

But you know, I the the good news is that these girls probably felt very safe around you.

[Kalila]

Oh, they did. And my mouth and penis never felt anything but they felt safe.

[Gilbert]

You got friend zoned for sure.

[Kalila]

I have hardcore I friends on myself. You can't just be body rolling and be like I'm straight and they're like, look at all these girls that are hanging out with me at the lunch table, you guys.

[Gilbert]

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[Kalila]

So anyways, so that's where that's kind of like, like my status in terms of like attraction with women. They just weren't interested. I was put myself in the friend zone. And I remember there's this one girl who I had a huge crush on, another trumpet player, Italian. And I remember like having the biggest crush on her in freshman year, Chubby Gilbert. And I remember if I just keep talking to her and making her laugh, like, then she'll like me. And I'll do this whole reveal at like a dance and be like, I've been in love, like way too much rom com influence. And I was like, I literally even bought a confetti thing to shoot confetti. So we've been talking throughout the year. I feel in my mind it's a good lesson for guys. I feel like I'm flirting and creating attraction by always, like, making her laugh, being so exhibitionist funny, not necessarily like nudity, but just like being goofy everywhere, making everyone, like, laugh out of, like, out of nowhere, like just falling down with my trumpet. And I'm like, damn. She's like, she's like into me. She's like laughing so much. She's just laughing like that was my metric. She's laughing so much. So. And then I start talking to her on the phone every night. To me, as a guy in high school, freshman year, I'm thinking, yeah, in movies I watch, yeah. Rom coms, when they start talking on the phone, they build this, like, connection and they end up together at the very end of the film, right? So we would talk every night on the phone, on my razor phone. My mom's like, why the fuck is Bill so crazy? I'm like, I'm just talking to my friend. And yeah, we'd keep talking and she's like, do you like anyone? I remember telling her one night, I was like, oh, yeah, I like this girl. I don't hear it is. God, I already hit this. She's like, oh, okay. Who is it? I'm like, she's in band. Oh, do I know her? I'm like, you might know her. So I don't want to say too much, like, what instrument? I'm like, I can't fucking say trumpet because it's going to be. She's going to know someone in our group. So I'm just like, how about this? I'll tell you at the. The dance at band camp. Oh, so many band camp stories. God, this is terrible.

[Gilbert]

Oh, this is already.

[Kalila]

So I told her, like, hey, the girl I dance with at the very last song is the girl that I have a huge crush on. So I remember the whole date, I was just so nervous. Like, I didn't even talk to her because I was so uncomfortable. Like, we're all just uncomfortable in general being freshmen at a dance together.

[Gilbert]

What song came on?

[Kalila]

I don't even remember because I've kind of not blocked it out. I just remember the confetti part. Honestly, like, so everyone's dancing. They're like, hey, last song, Casey and Jojo. Oh, shit. It might have been right, because that.

[Gilbert]

Was always the last song.

[Kalila]

Honestly, that might have been it.

[Gilbert]

I know.

[Kalila]

They're like, last slow dance. And I remember, I show up, like, people are clear. I'm like, oh, girl, come here, girl. Come here. She's like, oh, what? I'm like, I, like, started dancing with her, and she's like, let's just dance. And she's like, okay. And then I'm just, like, talking small talk. I'm, like, so nervous, dude. Like, my heart's beating and I have a giant confetti thing in my back pocket. And then the song's ending. I'm like, hey, remember when I told you, like, I would dance with the girl who I would. The girl I have a crush on is going to be the last dance of this dance. And I go. And I just take out the confetti and I go. And she goes, oh, let me repeat that in my mind. See, Gilbert. Adult Gilbert now knows what that means. But even then, I was like, she liked it.

[Gilbert]

I know I'm laughing, but I'm honestly crying.

[Kalila]

She liked it. It wasn't that. It was just. And I remember I walked her. I tried to hold her hand to walk out of the dance and wasn't like she actually held it, Which I was like, holy. This is like. This is. It's like the movie. It's the movies. All these movies I've watched. And then, like, after I walked her to her dorm, and she was like, hey, like, I think. I mean, we're just friends. And then just give me the light. Shake that. Take this, Annabella. Shake that.

[Gilbert]

Oh, my God. Killed.

[Kalila]

But then, you know, it's crazy.

[Gilbert]

Wait, but at this age, who do you go to with this whole. Do you talk to when your heart is, like, crushed into, like. No one says, like, this.

[Jules]

Friends.

[Kalila]

No, no, no. You're not telling. First of all, I'm not telling anyone who I have a crush on. I don't know if. How you guys were in high school, but you guys. We don't. You don't say that stuff.

[Gilbert]

Why not? I mean, obviously, at this.

[Kalila]

It might be different now.

[Gilbert]

We were. We were very, very not. I wouldn't say, like, misguided, but we really didn't have, like, the spaces to speak up. Like, we didn't have the safety of being like, hey, Ma. Hey, pa. Like, something really hurt me today. Or, like, I feel really sad or, you know, like, this girl broke my heart. Like, we didn't have that. Like, and now I feel like maybe some kids do, but, yeah, we just. Again, you take it in the chin.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's. That's what happened. But here's the redemption. So cut to two years later. Senior year, I had lost all this weight. Like, I did this whole transformation.

[Gilbert]

Would you do math?

[Kalila]

I wish I did. I did.

[Gilbert]

Because Bobby did it.

[Kalila]

Oh, he looks so good. He needs to do it now. He. I did. I forgot what I did. Oh, I think I just ate one Chick Fil a sandwich a day. And that was it. No, I think it was a calorie deficit, but I was eating one Chick Fil a sandwich a day. That was it.

[Gilbert]

We were so, like, like, not informed about nutrition.

[Kalila]

Oh, that was terrible what I was doing.

[Gilbert]

No, no. I thought that I would lose all the weight before prom. By drinking? No. Like, just Frappuccinos every meal. And I couldn't have gained weight faster.

[Kalila]

Just pure syrup.

[Gilbert]

I was like, oh, if I just drink Frappuccinos, like, all week this week, I'm gonna be so skinny for my dress. And, like, literally, I was, like, busting out of that thing. It was really sad, but go ahead.

[Kalila]

Yeah. So then the girl from freshman year, then, she had a crush on me because I came in senior year. I was, like, the vice president. I had lost all this weight. I was only wearing American Eagle. What's up?

[Gilbert]

And they've. They went bankrupt, right?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Okay. I don't know why we have to Bring that up. It was American Eagle wearing Sperry's just looking cool fairies. I just, like, also just confident. I think that's what it was. It was the confidence.

[Gilbert]

But what shifted? Just the weight loss.

[Kalila]

I think the weight loss made me confident, but I think because of my confidence that exuded. And everything was more chill. So, like, being funny would be like, probably more similar now where it's like, joke, joke, joke, and like, what's up? Yeah, it was just. Just confidence. So she really started, like, putting it on me and then I was just like, I'm good.

[Gilbert]

Oh, you weren't good, though. Let's be real.

[Kalila]

No, I really wanted it still.

[Gilbert]

I know. I know you did.

[Kalila]

You really wanted. So I had to play cool. That's what I learned.

[Gilbert]

You couldn't even be true to really what you wanted because you felt the need to give her. You felt the need for, once again.

[Kalila]

Lack of emotional understanding, you know, just didn't have any role models in that sense.

[Gilbert]

I will say this, though. This is where I feel like being Filipino really steered me in the wrong direction. Not so much you, but maybe you is that idea of courtship in the Philippines.

[Kalila]

Oh, it's so grand.

[Gilbert]

And how it's very different over here. Over here it's like, all right, cool. I like you. We hook up and then let's date in the Philippines. It's like a five, like five stages of courtship. In fact, you can't even.

[Kalila]

It's a. It's a movie. It's not a movie.

[Gilbert]

It's a row. It's a rom com. And like, it creates this really giant fantasy in your head. And then you then set yourself up for your, like, in your head, you're like, this is how it's going to go. You create a movie in your head. Because even in the Philippines, before you court someone, you have to ask permission to court. You can't just be like, oh, I'm court. Send flowers. You have to be like, talk. Can I court you? Right.

[Kalila]

Oh, the action, the actual. Really?

[Gilbert]

You have to ask permission to court consent. I can't. You can't just send me flowers. No, no, no. You have to ask first. Interesting, because that gives the opportunity for someone to be like, either yes or no. And then don't waste your money.

[Kalila]

There's also something nice about that, too. Imagine we seem like, ooh, like he's really pursuing.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. And then the next part is like the legal stage, Right?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

Which is really interesting.

[Kalila]

I love lugal.

[Gilbert]

Lugao is rice porridge. Rice porridge. Not Quite the same.

[Kalila]

Ligao is like, sardines and tomato.

[Gilbert]

So good. Senorita sardines. You don't even know a thing about that.

[Kalila]

I don't know that brand.

[Jules]

I don't like.

[Gilbert]

I don't either. Century Tuna is good, though. Okay, so if you're not Filipino, I'm so sorry.

[Kalila]

Look it up.

[Gilbert]

So the legal stage is literally, like, even when I was growing up, it's not unusual for a guy to bring a guitar, hey, be outside of your home or below your window and sing you a song. And the harana, like, to serenade you or do some kind of, like, public display of, hey, like, I like this girl, and I want everyone to know I like this girl.

[Kalila]

Yeah, see, that's the problem then, because that steered me the wrong way.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. And then the third step is what, Jules?

[Kalila]

Like, and then this has happened to you even at your age.

[Jules]

Not to me, but I notice, not more harana. More like, the boy bringing, like, flowers or, like, a lot of food for the whole family.

[Gilbert]

For, like, my ex Dino, brought, like, cases and, like, boxes and boxes of, like, mangoes, for instance.

[Kalila]

Or, like, someone brings a confetti thing.

[Gilbert]

Confetti and damn. I think that we were trained, and I don't know if it's because of the movies we watch or just because of, like, culturally, this is how we are, but it doesn't translate into American culture. And I made the same mistake. Like, I came here thinking my first crush, Gary Gonzalez, I literally said to him, don't worry. Like, when we get together, I'm gonna tattoo your name on me. And he was like, you're a crazy. But I was like, wait, this is a grand gesture of love. Like, what are you. Why are you, like, rejecting me?

[Kalila]

That's interesting. I never thought about that. I think it's partly. I always thought it was movies, but now I'm thinking the. The language my parents would use when they talk to me about love. And, like, they would say the word courting. Like, courting, actually court them. So now I'm thinking, like, oh, man. A lot of that was probably incepted. I didn't even know.

[Gilbert]

We take it so far that, like, Filipino couples, they celebrate Montserrat. They don't celebrate. Celebrate anniversary or a yearly thing. It's like February, March, April, May. And they post each month sari.

[Kalila]

That's a Filipino thing. Interesting, because I don't want to do that, but my Taiwanese wife makes me do that.

[Gilbert]

Maybe because she knew that I was Filipino.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

And she's like, look, this Is what I want. Do you guys do that?

[Kalila]

It's kind of tapered off since we got married and we have a new anniversary, but I still try to bring flowers or cook or something, like, once a month. Yeah.

[Gilbert]

That's so sweet.

[Jules]

When me and my boyfriend started dating, I.

[Kalila]

He's not Filipino, though.

[Jules]

He's Filipino. He is, but he was born here. But me, when I would go to their house, I would buy so much food for the whole family and bring flowers.

[Kalila]

The flowers is weird on your end.

[Gilbert]

No, you have to, as a girl.

[Kalila]

Bring flowers to the parents or to him?

[Jules]

To the. To, like, everyone. It's like just a bouquet. And I would. I would do is, like, bless the parents and say.

[Gilbert]

If you guys don't know what bless is, it's literally this. So you take the hand of an elderly person, and out of respect, you. You put it on your forehead. Me too. You have to.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Like, there's people, like, more Americanized, older Filipinos, they're like, ah, stop that. But they actually like it still.

[Gilbert]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It's a lost tradition.

[Jules]

And that's why his parents were so shocked that I did it, because none of my boyfriend or his brother would never do that. So they were like, oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Or were they kind of like, what do they think?

[Jules]

No, they loved it. They loved me immediately, so.

[Gilbert]

But then he didn't do that with us.

[Kalila]

No.

[Gilbert]

The next time Ephraim comes over, I'm gonna make him.

[Jules]

He's so Americanized.

[Gilbert]

Oh, that. That is. That is one of the things that I wish sort of, like, carried over.

[Kalila]

In terms of tradition. Yeah.

[Jules]

Yeah. That's why, like, whenever he comes out there, I would always have to say, like, oh, like, bring something, like flowers, like, for us.

[Kalila]

Has it connected with him yet? Like, does he now know?

[Gilbert]

He just doesn't bring him over. She literally been together for years, and she.

[Kalila]

So weird.

[Gilbert]

Can I tell you what happened right before we got this place? Right before we got this place? Like, a couple days before, I was, like, hearing, like, sounds in the garage, and I was like, who the fuck is in the garage? So I go inside, and it's. She had set up, like, a tiny little table for them to eat. Howlin Race. And I was like, hi, Ephraim. What are you guys doing here? I was like, come inside. She was like, no, we're not coming inside. She won't let him in the house.

[Kalila]

You're being a little weird. You know that, right? Just be. Just keep me a little aware.

[Jules]

I know Ephraim is just. He doesn't like, he doesn't. Like, I have to teach him.

[Kalila]

Okay, but you can't hide him. Hunchback. What the. Dude, you put him on a chain?

[Jules]

No, but he's fine with it.

[Kalila]

No, he's fine. He's like, no, seriously, like, I feel like this is a great opportunity for you to, like, include them. Like, you just have to. Look, men will listen to women that they love. So if you're just like, yo, you need to respect my family. This is how they receive respect. It's this.

[Gilbert]

He is very respectful. Yeah, he's. He's a. He's a really good kid. I think, like, just, you know, like, girls tend to kind of grow up just a touch faster.

[Kalila]

A touch.

[Gilbert]

A big touch faster.

[Kalila]

Very fast.

[Gilbert]

And for some, like, magical reason, like, we tend to keep a household and cook, clean, all, like, these things. Like, you know, we. We grew up faster in a lot of ways.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

I think that's probably just the difference between you guys at this age. Jules. But not to say, like, he won't get there. Of course he will. And you just gotta, you know, can you not.

[Kalila]

Like, that's wild for her to, like. Instead of, like, catching you guys. Oh, my God. They're having sex in my garage. And it's like, oh, they're eating Howland rays on a table secretly. That's crazy also.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. I mean, Jules, trying to tell you you're asexual.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Hey. Yeah, buddy. So high school.

[Gilbert]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I did the whole weight loss transformation. Senior year was great. Was doing good there.

[Gilbert]

And then VH1 came along.

[Kalila]

Oh, VH1.

[Gilbert]

So when I first met Gilbert, very Filipino.

[Kalila]

Huh. Why reality tv?

[Gilbert]

Oh, yeah, that's true. When I first met Gilbert, he was like, I would. You know, we'd go out, I'd see him in the wild.

[Kalila]

And you remember the first time we saw each other in the wild? I bet you don't remember where we actually bumped into each other in the wild.

[Gilbert]

Was it at the strip club?

[Kalila]

Yeah. That was the first time we noticed that. We never. We never hung out yet because it was early on our relationship where I didn't know Bobby. He like that. Dude, fucking Bobby. You're. Bobby hated me.

[Jules]

Why?

[Kalila]

Because he didn't know me. He just really hated me.

[Gilbert]

He's just sometimes shitty, too.

[Kalila]

Especially early Bobby. Like, this is, like, no work Bobby. This is.

[Gilbert]

This is like, he really was nowhere.

[Kalila]

This is no money Bobby. This is. I'm. This is sad Bobby. This is extreme sad Bobby. And I just remember him not liking me one. He thought I was trying to hook up with her. He told me privately a couple times, like, jokingly. Two, he didn't like that. He didn't do standup. I did improv. And then three, he said, how the fuck. It really was. How the fuck did this guy get an opportunity out of all the people I know?

[Gilbert]

Right?

[Kalila]

Cause my girlfriend brought this random fairy here into my home. I think he said that. Why'd you bring this fairy into our home? This magical fairy?

[Gilbert]

I was like, just wait. Just wait. He's a good fairy.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

I promise. And. Yeah, that's right. It was at the.

[Kalila]

It was a strip club.

[Gilbert]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I think that was the first strip club I've ever been to.

[Gilbert]

Really? Was that the only. First and only.

[Kalila]

Not only, like, I've been. I went after. But it wasn't like I wasn't trying to. It was just like, you're never like, hey, guys, let's go. Let's go to a strip. I'm not one of those guys. Well, let's go to a strip club. But I remember going to. That was really fun because I was like, you, Jessica. And then also some random guy or something. Like, you guys had two random dudes. It was her work friends. And I just remember, yeah, you wild dude.

[Gilbert]

What was I. Why was hell?

[Kalila]

It's because there's a little. You had a little extra where? Like. Like, I've been to a strip club with guys. It's more like we just play cool and chill. But maybe because you're a woman going to that space, you're a little more like, yo, get the money. Just get the money. Just get the money. Can we find atm? Yo, Gil, can we find out? It's like your whole energy shifted. I was like, all right.

[Gilbert]

It's all right.

[Kalila]

Urban Kalila, I'm from the atl. What is this? And then her, your whole aura inside, like the way she would walk. She's like, sit here, Gil. Sit in the middle, Gil, sit in the middle. Gil said. And you were basically like a low level Aziz Ansar. You're like, sit in the middle. Sit in the middle. And then you're like handing me money because it was my birthday, I guess, weekend. And you're. I was just. It's just. You had. You were like, extra dude.

[Gilbert]

Because this is how I get excited.

[Kalila]

I think in those moments.

[Gilbert]

Strip clubs. No, I still like going to strip clubs. And aloha will tell you this. Even my partner. I'm just saying.

[Kalila]

Crazy stories I've heard at strip clubs.

[Gilbert]

You know, crazy stories at Strip clubs. But I see it as, like, they're, like, incredible performers. Like, to me, it's no different than. I don't go in there for any kind of, like, sexual experience at all. I go in there because I truly think burlesque dancing, stripping, like, I mean, it's very athletic. It's very hard to do athletic. And that pole. Anyone who can go down, up and down that pole is incredible. And the strip club that we went to, deja vu. Deja vu. Like, some of the girls that were.

[Kalila]

Like, oh, I heard a deep moan there. That was weird. Jollibee, chicken, Joy.

[Gilbert]

But these girls were, like, athletes. Right. And so it's like, it's. It's exciting to be there with friends. It's like a show.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I just. Look, it's just. I'm really just commenting on your energy ship. It's a whole different person.

[Gilbert]

It is.

[Kalila]

It is.

[Gilbert]

It's very exciting and. But you think I'm weird. Have you been to the strip club.

[Kalila]

With her, Ms. Asexual? What do you do there?

[Gilbert]

No, she.

[Kalila]

She brings Holland rays and starts eating it by herself.

[Gilbert]

She was. She fell in love with a stripper and, like, got so drunk and, like, was like.

[Jules]

Like, yeah, I blew her whole lot.

[Gilbert]

Of cash on just, like, one person.

[Kalila]

Walk me through this. Where was this? Where?

[Jules]

In Hawaii. It was my first strip club.

[Kalila]

And nervous or kind of excited?

[Jules]

I was excited. And the same thing. Atikala just was like. Like doing everything.

[Kalila]

Fucking, too. They're just taking people to strip clubs.

[Jules]

Yeah, they were giving us cash. Like, they were.

[Kalila]

I know. I'm like, it's just weird because it's like, take this guilt.

[Gilbert]

Take.

[Kalila]

Gil. Gilb. Take. It's like, she's, like, hitting me. And you're like, I. I will have fun. Just calm the down right now, dude. You're not cool right now, lady. Gilb, it's the guilt. It's that thing you do.

[Gilbert]

No, because I. To me, there's nothing more insulting than a girl being on stage and you just watching and not giving money. It's like, no, you're going.

[Kalila]

There is a lot. There is a lot of that sad guy vibe going.

[Gilbert]

I hate that.

[Kalila]

Just sitting there.

[Gilbert]

I'm like, give her her flowers. Literally, blow your cash. This is the place. She's a goddess. Give her all your money. That's always my. This is the way I do things. It's like, I've seen. I've gone with friends who. Now, in retrospect, I'm like, oh, he was creepy. He literally went in there, thinking that he was gonna have some type of, like, sexual exchange or encounter. And I was like, oh. Like, I was like, get him the. Away from my group, because that's not what we're here for. We're here to make these girls, like, rich.

[Kalila]

Yeah. So. So she did the thing.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I was just shoving money down your throat.

[Jules]

I was just, like, so mesmerized by everyone, and I just kept screaming. And I was.

[Kalila]

When you say screaming, what do you mean by, like, screaming? Like, oh, my God. Oh, my.

[Jules]

I was like, yeah. I was just like, they were so beautiful.

[Kalila]

And then you were drunk. A little bit.

[Gilbert]

Oh, yeah. We were hammered.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

And then this one girl was just like. She was, like, saying she was talking to me, and then her butt was in my face, and it was just so amazing. Like, it was so nice.

[Gilbert]

And then she went home and drunkenly, like, looked for her on Instagram.

[Jules]

Yeah, I had to.

[Kalila]

Her butt was on my face. It was so amazing.

[Gilbert]

She really was so, like.

[Kalila]

Oh.

[Jules]

And she did the.

[Kalila]

How much money did you spend?

[Gilbert]

Probably why wouldn't point at me.

[Kalila]

Yeah, because you're the fucking bank teller over here. You know what that energy is? That's what it is. You know? Okay, here's a Filipino tie in. You know, when your aunties and uncles, you're always like, okay, dance, dance, dance. That energy, you're like, chill. I'm not going to dance. That's where it transferred to you. But to getting people to spend money at a strip club.

[Gilbert]

I'll take it down.

[Kalila]

Come on, spend. I give her money.

[Gilbert]

Go, go, guy.

[Kalila]

Filipino energy.

[Gilbert]

When I'm no longer shipwrecked and my face is no longer paralyzed. We should all go to the strip club and. Because I want to see her. No. Yes.

[Kalila]

You butt in her face. That's the crazy.

[Jules]

Like, it was so nice.

[Gilbert]

You're not wrong because. Aloha. When him and I first started dating and we went to the strip club those same night that Jules was there.

[Kalila]

Oh, interesting.

[Gilbert]

He was basically. He said the same thing you did. He was like, oh, no, you're crazy. Like, like, like, stop with the atm.

[Kalila]

Yeah, dude, I'm telling you. I think it might also be, like, I suppose a male dynamic there. It's more like, yeah. So you're just like, let's go, Dave and Buster's Skee ball. That's what it felt.

[Gilbert]

Honestly, Chase blocks me now. Like, my bank from strip club. No. When they see, like, it blocks my ATM transactions anytime. Like, it pings like a strip club.

[Kalila]

They'Re like, they're so embarrassed. Like, this is horrible spending. Financially responsible.

[Gilbert]

I'm not a crazy spender. I think of myself as frugal. Economical. I don't like the word.

[Kalila]

So not frugal.

[Gilbert]

Frugal, economical.

[Kalila]

You like the things you like. You know, other things you like. I'm like, damn, it's surprising. You eat eggs off the ground. Like, why is she eating chicken bo bones out of the trash? I'm like, that's a nice jacket.

[Gilbert]

It's interesting. Yeah, it's. Some things are, you know, it's like high, low, Right?

[Kalila]

Yeah, I've noticed that about you.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. Like some. Some fast fashion, but also one thing that's very expensive on my body, but so strip club.

[Kalila]

Loved it.

[Jules]

Loved it. That was amazing.

[Kalila]

Is that a Filipino culture thing? I'm trying to think. I don't remember in the Philippines. Yes.

[Gilbert]

No.

[Kalila]

Or that just mistresses.

[Gilbert]

Ah, that's a whole different topic that I wish I had the time for. Because, like, truly, that's one of the things I hate about our culture is that, like, to have a mission.

[Kalila]

Asian culture in general.

[Gilbert]

Asian culture is like, having a mistress is a sign of, like, wealth. Like, it's like a sign of success. Like, and it's. Don't you think, Jules? Like, it's almost like they wear it as a badge where it's like, I've gotten to a certain point in my career, in my life and whatever status, and now it's like, I'm going to take on a mistress, and then my wife has to just. Just has to deal with it.

[Kalila]

And I think the weird thing is too, is the wife does deal with it. I mean, so different. So it is a cult, a full cultural.

[Gilbert]

For the longest time, like, divorce wasn't a thing in the Philippines. Like, you know, you could get annulments, but if you had the money to annul outside of that, like, there was no way to exit abusive relationship. There was no way to get out of, like. Like a shitty. Like, there was no way. Like, the woman was trapped always. So it's like, what's she gonna do? Like, she probably will take the path of least resistance and just be like, oh, it. You know, so that's a whole nother topic that we can dive into after. But back to you, Gilb.

[Kalila]

Okay, so high school, got out of there, went to college, and then, yeah, I essentially flunked out. That was probably one of the lowest points of my life.

[Gilbert]

That's what I wanted to ask you too, because I know there was a period of time where you lied to your parents.

[Kalila]

Damn, you were. I feel like I say these things.

[Gilbert]

That's all.

[Kalila]

This is like 2017. I'd share some of this stuff.

[Gilbert]

It's all in my journal.

[Kalila]

God damn.

[Gilbert]

I'm Gilbert's deepest, darkest. So you. How long did you lie to your parents about being in college and them paying quote, unquote tuition and you not actually being in college?

[Kalila]

Oh, God. Why did you say all that? I think. Yeah, so I think I was a pretty bummed senior year. I was not a good student. I think every teacher could. They all loved me, but they just knew, like, it's that same thing. Gilbert never applied himself. But I wasn't even that cool of a kid. That's why I was weird. I was like a band nerd that wouldn't apply himself in academics. But he's just so great at talking and making people laugh and, like, very relational, I guess. Yeah, I would say even with the teachers, but yeah. I've just never a good student. I realized adhd when I think about, like, high school, elementary, I just always think about. I always. I would actually think about clouds.

[Gilbert]

Like, I would.

[Kalila]

I would dream about owning business. Like, I used to dream about owning a Jamba Juice. And I would think about smoothie recipes. And the class would be done. Like, that's where my brain would.

[Gilbert]

What's your Jamba Juice order?

[Kalila]

I think it used to just be the strawberry banana. But then I was like, I can make my own Jamba Juice. And I would just think about avocado milk sugar recipes. I think about all these mango.

[Gilbert]

Go, go. Caribbean passion.

[Kalila]

It's weird. That's why I basically did terrible in school, because I would daydream all the time. And then went to college. Didn't get into a great school. Like, everyone stayed in, in state at, like, University of Georgia, Georgia Tech. Then I went to, like, a really small, really small school in North Carolina in Collowy, North Carolina. Like, you know, Confederate flag, roommates, Confederate flags. Like that kind of South. Like, everyone's very friendly.

[Gilbert]

You felt okay?

[Kalila]

I did. I mean, I grew up in Georgia. For me, at that time, and that. Remember the context, that flag was more just like Southern pride. They didn't really put the full context of what that actually was.

[Gilbert]

You sure about that?

[Kalila]

I don't know. People used to poke me with knives at night.

[Gilbert]

I call that stabbing.

[Kalila]

Is it? Yeah, yeah. Tickling me.

[Gilbert]

You can feel it because you were fat.

[Kalila]

Guys, I'm trying to sleep. He's so fat. God damn it. And then Yes, I would. I was in there for pre law because my dad was a lawyer and he became a mayor in Alaran and Osami's Occidental. So he was like in the political space. So I was like, oh, I'm gonna be a lawyer then. Just didn't go to class. I basically spent the next year and a half showing up to class, not doing any of the work, daydreaming, thinking about honestly, like building like a business, theme parks, wanting to be like in movies. I would literally just daydream about that, but no action. Just daydreaming and just not show up to finals, play video games, daydream. That was for about a year and a half or after the first two semesters or every semester when we get our grades. My mom be like, hey, what's up? And I felt bad, you know, when I think about it now, because I didn't get in state tuition, I'd go out of state. So my parents, my mom, that's a lot of money. My mom did not plan for a lot of this. For whatever reason.

[Gilbert]

Your parents weren't swimming in money either.

[Kalila]

They were not like my mom when we first moved there. My dad worked at a chemical plant, my mom worked at McDonald's and a consulting company. So it's like that's kind of their start. And they're very, they're successful now. But I was a long, a lot of work. But I remember, yeah, I remember just like messing around. And then when grades would come, I was good at Photoshop. I would take all my D's and F's and C's and I would put A's and B's and occasionally throw in a CC there so I can get yelled and be like, I know, I'm trying, I fucked up, but I was flunking. And then my mom was putting a lot on a credit card. When I say a lot to do out of state tuition and not that good of a school.

[Gilbert]

Oh my God.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I didn't see it that way. When you're in it, right?

[Gilbert]

You're right, right.

[Kalila]

You're like in a privileged sense, kind of in a bubble. Like, I didn't really. I had a job when I was in high school, but like, I didn't understand how, like, there's kids fighting for grants for shit. They're like trying to get money somewhere else. They're getting loans and I'm just like not thinking. My mom put her money on a credit card for me to go to school.

[Gilbert]

Yeah, you don't really have the true context of that at that age. And, like, you really are just in, like, this. You're selfish. Like, you. Your needs are first, and who cares about mom and dad's struggles? Like, yeah, that age is.

[Kalila]

It's really selfish, really hardcore. And then, yeah, it got to the point where my mom was like, hey, it's getting really expensive. Might have to go back to school. Like, maybe community college in Georgia. And I was like. And I think I had to, like, show the transfer grades to get over to Perimeter or to the community college back in Georgia. And I don't know. I just felt this sense of, like, I needed to stop living this lie. And I think that was also probably a big step in the sense that maybe. Weight of carrying that. You know, I've told this to you before, but a lot of my life, I've always been a performer in the sense of, like, you know, even suppressing your emotions. Put on a smiley face. What do people need, Gilbert? To be? I will be that. I was a chameleon. So I had, like, a very big identity problem.

[Gilbert]

I can relate to that as a, like, people pleaser.

[Kalila]

Big, big people.

[Gilbert]

Like, shapeshifter. Whatever.

[Kalila]

Whatever you need, I got you. Yeah. Then you're. And then you're asking yourself, wait, what do I even stand for? What are my values? What I believe in? What do I love? What do I hate? I don't know. I'm just trying to, like, be accepted by.

[Gilbert]

Just mold into whatever.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, big time. And I remember finally telling my mom, and I was like, oh, fuck. I started. I had basically flunked out of college. It was like, a huge. No, no. And for context, for people I know, like, flunking out of college is crazy, but Asian family, immigrant family, there's a lot of weight there, too. A lot of money was spent. And I remember telling my mom, and I was getting ready to be, like, slapped in the face. Because I'm also, like, the rebellious type. Like, I talked back throughout my life. My sister is more of, like, the quiet one. I was always, like, the one pushing the envelope with my parents. And I was getting ready to get slapped, get hit. I told my mom, told her I lied. I'm, like, tearing up. I'm like, I feeling so much shame. And then I remember her, my mom. I really thought she was gonna hit me. She's a disciplinary one. I remember she took me, and she said, let's go for a drive. And then she got. We got in the car and all we did while she just let me, like, explain Everything and sob. She just drove and say, it's okay. I was not expecting that.

[Gilbert]

Really.

[Kalila]

I was not expecting that. Did she mean so much Grace there? I don't even know where that came from at the time, but it was a lot.

[Gilbert]

That makes me emotional because I think she tapped into something deeper, which is, my son is not okay. Who cares about the money? Who cares about college at this point? I think that is, you know, I know you said she's a disciplinarian, but there is maybe an intuition that she had where she's like, okay, I think my son's in trouble beyond just, you.

[Kalila]

Know, And I think she. I think you're right.

[Gilbert]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I think she sensed that. I'm very grateful for that because that could have gone so many different ways. And I was generally, like, shocked that happened. I didn't even know how to. I didn't know how to process in the moment. And she was like, it's okay. You know, it's fine. After I calmed down, she's like, Then it was more like, let's talk about it. Like, that's bad. And I think the reason why that all came out, what I was saying earlier about being a people, I think that was probably the tipping point, at least at that phase in my life where it's, like, always lying, always, like, changing the truth, always trying to get out of something. Like, it all just caught up to that moment. I was like, I didn't realize how much of a burden I was carrying my whole life, you know, as a kid. Of all that stuff. That was like the first big revelation of, like, whoa. Like, lying and, like, performing and not expressing myself honestly. It was. Yeah, that was crazy. That was a. Yeah, that was crazy. So it was finally all just came out in that one moment.

[Gilbert]

It's been really. It's been really nice watching you grow up. And it's weird to say because we're not that far in age, but the. The Gilbert I knew when we first met to the Gilbert you are now is, like, unrecognizable. Like, you. You became a man. Like, you not only became a man, but you became someone, like, not a people pleaser, but someone, like, who is a really well respected, like, intelligent, grounded, kind, generous. Like. Like, you're just. It. It's weird to see, like, I said this at your wedding. It's like, you. You're not the kid anymore, you know?

[Kalila]

Yeah. And I can say the same to you. You're so different, dude.

[Gilbert]

I am. Gil, come on, be real. But also, tell me how We've talked.

[Kalila]

I can. I mean, we can get into it.

[Gilbert]

But anyway, you know, it's so weird that you don't see yourself, like, as it's happening. Change. Right. You only. I guess now since I'm 40, I look back, I'm like, oh my God, like, what the was I thinking back then? But yeah, we've been through.

[Kalila]

I would say we're very different from when we met each other. At least I feel that way. And I can. Yeah, I feel. And there's still the things I bet we can both recognize in each other. Those still strongholds that are still there and they can kind of seep up. I think we can both see that in each other. But it's like, it's not supposed to go away forever.

[Gilbert]

No, I mean, like, you know, some of those fractured parts of who you are are there to stay.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Gilbert]

And it also is what makes you special. You know, it also is what makes you like, different from the pack.

[Kalila]

And I will say I don't think they have the stuff that I've seen in you. I don't think they have a grip on you like they used to.

[Gilbert]

Maybe, maybe not. I. Certainly not at this stage in my life. Like, I just have like 2025 is really testing me. And it's only January.

[Kalila]

I cannot wait for 2025 worms to come out.

[Gilbert]

Oh my God. I'm probably going to get worms this year. I mean, at the rate we're going. Yeah, I. I just really.

[Kalila]

We'll do a part two.

[Gilbert]

We will do a part two.

[Kalila]

Because I gotta tell you, the. The pickup artist is wild. How that even came to be, I can't.

[Gilbert]

It still angers me. So that's a part I don't like about you. Still.

[Kalila]

Honestly, that part about me, there's some good things that came out of that.

[Gilbert]

Let's just say it quickly. Okay. Gilbert got into watching VH1 and reality shows and one of the shows on there. Go ahead in. I'll give you a quick synopsis. One of the shows on there was a pickup artist. And basically this guy was showing men.

[Kalila]

How to Neil Strauss. And he's changed now. Like how we've all transformed.

[Gilbert]

He basically was showing men how to pick up women, but it was so disgusting, cringy. And literally like the, the, like the.

[Kalila]

Guy'S name was Mystery. Yeah, the one with the top hat. And he'd wear a boa. And the reason he wore a boa, a term they would call in like old school pickup, would be called peacocking. That's where the term peacocking, he. Where it's like you wear a boa to a club and women are like, who's that guy? Yeah.

[Gilbert]

So Gilbert made this guy his lord and savior, and he followed the. All of these rules like it was the Bible, dude.

[Kalila]

There's such a better story to this bigger story.

[Gilbert]

And then. So when I would see him when I first met Gilbert, and I would see him, like, interact with girls, I would be like, what on earth are you doing?

[Kalila]

I remember one time that we were at your favorite place, the Virgil. It's, you know what's crazy about the pickups to artist stuff that started when I met you. So I was starting that transition to getting into it. Like, you really saw me at, like, the inception of that, like, Aloha's phone. Like, you saw me at that. At the inception of that weird phase. But, God, there's so much to say about it. I don't know if. Should we talk about it?

[Gilbert]

We'll see. Well, I. I do, but we'll save it for a part two. We need to do a part two.

[Kalila]

But I do remember what is, like the top peak pickup days was like, go to the Virgil with you. And then like, I remember being with Gardo. Gardo wasn't married yet. Wasn't dating anyone yet.

[Gilbert]

Yeah, but Gardo's way of picking up. You know how he would pick up chicks?

[Kalila]

Yeah, his looks. I get it.

[Gilbert]

No, he's cute. He's a cute guy. He would literally tell girls to be like, hey, you want to come over? Bring a helmet and a sack of bananas.

[Kalila]

But that's. That's basically what I learned from pickup is being that confident to say stupid.

[Gilbert]

And then he would get drunk and he'd turn to the girl, they'd like, we're gonna die tonight. And it worked. I would. We would all be like, what the is happening?

[Kalila]

Honestly, that's. That's not too far from what I was doing. I remember at the Virgil, Garda was with me, and there was like, we called them sets of three. So what you have to do, we have a two set of three set. You look at your wingman, you wink, and you know what to do. One of them talks to the girl. You don't ew me. It's easy for you to just go, tata, my nips are out. I go, my balls are out. I'm in jail. Very different. So I remember I was like, three girls, three sisters. It was a birthday girl, and I was like, I'm going for the birthday girl. So what I Did Garda started talking to the birthday girl. I was like, I only want to talk to the sisters. I just want to make the sisters laugh. And that's when you. The idea of negging, where I literally put my back against the birthday girl. I was just talking to the sisters. I remember you, Quinda, looking at me. I think Renzo was there too, and you guys were like, what the fuck is he doing?

[Gilbert]

I think negging is truly, like, elementary. And I will. I want to kick you in the nuts just forever having nagged the girl.

[Kalila]

You say that, but if I. Oh, if I can just see your life. I bet there's so many times guys have nagged you that you are just like, you don't even know what's happening.

[Gilbert]

Kalila, I. You don't even know you're saying that you're nagging. Your type of nagging, what a worked on a girl like me. I would have spat in your eyeball, sir.

[Kalila]

And I would have caught that in my mouth and went, what's your name? Talk to your friend first. That's literally how far away? Take that. Because it becomes so ridiculous.

[Gilbert]

Listen.

[Kalila]

And then you know that the guy's flirt, you know that I would talk to the sisters, and at one point I would put my butt out the other girl like this.

[Gilbert]

And then she.

[Kalila]

And she, they just start laughing. I'm like, oh, can I. Can I take. Talk to your sister? Can I take the birthday girlfriend?

[Gilbert]

Okay, if it's funny, sure.

[Kalila]

But, like, now she's changing her tune because this happened to her.

[Gilbert]

If I'm a wound, I am a wounded bird. I've always. I was a wounded bird for a long, long time. But because I'm so wounded, any inkling of rejection, I'd run away. So if you even neg me a little bit, like, oh, he doesn't like me. I'm out. Like, I don't try to win you over. I'm so deeply hurt that you probably said one tiny thing about me that I will disappear and take a taxi home.

[Kalila]

You know, I don't believe that about you, though.

[Gilbert]

But I'm saying my younger years. Yeah, my younger years. Not anymore. I'd be like, you know, just spin your eyeball, I guess. Like, you're ugly. Get away.

[Kalila]

Do you do well with negging?

[Jules]

No, I don't do.

[Kalila]

So if a guy makes fun of you or girl. Oh, I.

[Jules]

Well, before, I would literally just be sad and like, depressed and cry.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I guess. Guys, the lessons don't neg the coons don't Neg this family.

[Gilbert]

Hey, also, that's not how you say my last name. 10 years.

[Kalila]

You can't say my last name.

[Gilbert]

Galon. Okay, you know what? You can't say your last name. I had to teach you how to say you were Galen.

[Kalila]

I say Galon.

[Gilbert]

It's Galon.

[Kalila]

Galon.

[Gilbert]

Yeah. You can't American.

[Kalila]

I'm not saying gallon. I said that for the past 25 years, I've said gallon.

[Gilbert]

I know, and I corrected you about your own last.

[Kalila]

I said Galon. And people now don't say that. Still.

[Gilbert]

It's like when people. When I tell people my name, and they're like, oh, it's Kalila. And they're like, oh, how do you spell. It's a K. H, A. No, it's Khalila. And they correct me. I'm like, all right, yeah, probably correct. But Guild, thank you so much for doing this. We have to do this.

[Kalila]

Wait, can we recap? What did we learn about. Let's tie everything into Filipinos.

[Gilbert]

Okay?

[Kalila]

Because we're trying to get this Jollibee sponsorship, which we will.

[Gilbert]

Here's what. I'll recap. Both of you like the sensation of holding your poo for reasons unknown. Worms are fun.

[Kalila]

No worms are fun for you.

[Gilbert]

So no worms are fun.

[Kalila]

We're no fortified for you.

[Gilbert]

Nagging does not work.

[Jules]

Strip clubs.

[Gilbert]

Strip clubs spend as much money as, you know what max out at strip clubs. They deserve it.

[Kalila]

Recap. The best time experience a strip club for the first time is with her. I will say that the energy is insane. David Buster's energy. It's crazy how you want to play skeeball so much.

[Gilbert]

What else Jollibee is. Oh, if you are entering a Filipino household.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Gilbert]

Know that the spaghetti might be sweet.

[Kalila]

Yes. And Filipino. How would you say it? Like, perspective of romance can ruin a high schooler's chance at love.

[Gilbert]

Right. If you.

[Kalila]

How would you frame that?

[Gilbert]

If you are a Filipino from the Philippines coming to America, the whole legal thing does not work on the girl's hair. Although I wish it did, because it is so sweet. It's romantic and it's romantic. And I wish we. We brought that kind of romance back into this landscape of situationships that just hurts so many feelings.

[Kalila]

And that's why pickup exists.

[Gilbert]

The pickup artist is the reason he's. Bye. Bye. We don't use those tactics anymore on women. Certainly not nagging. We say, you're beautiful, you're great, I'm interested in you. I want to talk to you. You be direct with them. They appreciate that.

[Kalila]

Direct is good.

[Gilbert]

Direct is great. It works on everybody. And band camp people truly are horny.

[Kalila]

It's crazy.

[Gilbert]

And so with that, we will see you next week. Thank you for being here. Thank you, Jules. Thank you, Gilbert. Round two. Maybe soon.

[Kalila]

Yes, Round two. Subscribe to the Patreon as well.

[Gilbert]

And subscribe to the Patreon, because all my. That's where I'm. That's where I'm keeping all my secrets.

[Kalila]

What do you mean by that? Let's. Let's cut an ad right now. What do you mean by that?

[Gilbert]

Well, you know, my life's been a little different lately.

[Kalila]

Oh, what don't you want to know?

[Gilbert]

Don't you want to subscribe?

[Kalila]

If I go to Patreon, I'll learn some things about your life that I won't see for free on YouTube.

[Gilbert]

Maybe. Maybe. Who's to say? Gil? Oh, go to Patreon. Look for Trash Tuesday. Sign up. We'd love to see you there. And, yeah, we'll see you guys next week. Bye.