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Hulu Promo Announcer
An all new season of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney.
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Travis (Podcast Host)
Mom talk has just been blowing up. Whitney and Jen are on Dancing with the Stars.
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Travis (Podcast Host)
Saying that out loud is crazy. Like that is huge. But all the cool opportunities could pull us apart. It's causing issues in everyone's marriage.
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Travis (Podcast Host)
It's chaos.
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Travis (Podcast Host)
You're listening to the Travis Makes Money podcast presented by GoHighLevel.com for a free 30 day trial of the best all in one digital marketing software tool on the planet, just go to gohighlevel.com travis hey everybody, welcome back to the show. Today is just me, you and the mic. It is our solo show for the day and we're wrapping up our top 25 questions to change your life. Little, I guess series, I guess you could call it miniseries, I suppose that we've gone over the last few episodes and today we're, we're wrapping that up. So if you have missed those episodes, then be sure to go back to questions to ask yourself numbers one through four because this is number five. And so we're going to jump right into where we left off last time. And then we'll just really quickly review these, these questions as sort of a wrap up to the series and then we'll move along. Next question on the list. What am I pretend not to know? What am I pretending not to know? A lot of times we find that we actually do know the things that we should be doing. But for whatever reason we are deluding ourselves into believing that we don't know what we should be doing. So one of the ways to figure this out is what would I counsel somebody else in my position to do? What? Knowing everything I know about this situation, what would I tell somebody else to do? Because a lot of times it's just easier to tell somebody else to do something. It seems more obvious, right? Other potential frame for this is sort of imagine your life is a movie. And what would the audience be screaming at the TV because they're so frustrated they the character, the main character is not seeing the next step forward. What would the audience be screaming at the TV like, man, you, you know, it's so obvious you should be doing this thing or you should be letting go of this toxic relationship or you should be entering into this new career here what would you be yelling? What would people be yelling at the screen if your life was a movie? And it's sort of like the. What am I pretending not to know? Like, what are the things that, you know, what, what, what am I, what am I pushing deep down? You know what I mean? Like, what are the bad habits that I have that I'm just kind of pretending to not care about or not know about? Like, you know, or if you're over consuming alcohol or something like that. It's like you can pretend to not know if you're, if you're smoking cigarettes. It's like, we know these things are bad, but you sort of pretend to not know along the way or you've convinced yourself that some version of it is okay. So what am I pretending not to know right now? Because that's probably an indicator of the thing that deserves a good amount of your attention to change. Next question. Am I building a life I actually want or the life that someone else will applaud? The life that somebody else wants for you? Are you climbing the right mountain? You know, are this something I realized pretty early on now I recognize my situation was a little bit different because I grew up in this sort of like fundamentalist cult background. And so I, I was almost like forced to figure it out early on because I was about to dedicate my entire life to doing something that I wasn't 100% bought into making sure that I was going to do. So I had to sort of throw everything up in the air at the beginning of my career when I was in my early 20s, and ask myself this question. Am I going to, Am I taking the first step to building the life that I actually want? Or am I only, am I only doing this because I know this is what everybody in my life really wants me to do and has wanted me to do for the past Dec. Since I committed to it when I was 12, you know, so the answer to that question for me was no, I was not building the life that I actually wanted. And then you enter even potentially scarier territory, which is not knowing what life you want. That is, I think that's one big reason that people just climb whatever mountain they've been given to climb. You know, they, they, they build the life that somebody else wants for them. Because, frankly, it's a little bit easier sometimes. Sometimes actually achieving the thing that you want is actually more difficult than knowing what it is that you want to begin with. So I think some people just go, well, I don't know exactly what I'D be doing otherwise. So I'm just going to attack this thing and they don't ever do the work to figure out if it's something they actually want. And then you look back in 10 years, 15 years, 20, 25 years, and you realize that you've put all the effort and energy and work into climbing a mountain that you didn't care to climb to begin with. So am I building a life that I actually want, or a life that somebody else will applaud? If you've never asked yourself this question, then odds are you're probably living a version of life that somebody else handed to you. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's the wrong version, right? I want to be clear about that. That doesn't mean that just because somebody else instilled this value in you or convinced you that this path was important, that does not mean that it's not worthy of your time and attention. And that does not mean that it's not the path that you should be going down. But it does mean that you should at least be willing to ask the question. And if you're not willing to ask the question, then that could be an indicator that you're really, really only doing this because you literally don't know what else to do. And it feels safer to pursue a path of certainty than it does to pursue a path of uncertainty. So am I building the life that I actually want, or the life that somebody else wanted for me? By the way, I think that you will always feel more fulfillment chasing the life that you want, even if you end up with a different version of it than you will in the achievement of the life that somebody else wanted for you. So it's really important to ask yourself that question from time to time. Next, which version of me am I rewarding with today's choices? My highest self or my laziest self? This is sort of along the same lines of the question that we asked ourselves a couple episodes ago, which is if every day were like today, what would this year look like?
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Travis (Podcast Host)
Like you know, a year is just a collection of 365 days. So you can have a pretty good idea of what your year is going to look like if you look at it on a daily basis. But we tend to downplay each individual day that makes up a year because it's so many days that that go into a year when in reality it's just the composite of those days that make up the year. And I know I'm this is some groundbreaking science here that that we're talking about this some riveting stuff, but it's something that everybody knows, yet they still continue to live their day to day lives as if they don't have any urgency pulling them in the direction of their goals or dreams. So which version of me am I rewarding with today's choices? Am I rewarding my today self by not going to the gym? And you know it feels better to not go put myself through physical pain of working out so I'm rewarding my current self, my laziest self. Or did I choose to go to the gym and endure a little bit of physical pain because I know that my future version of myself will thank me for it when when I turn 40 or when I turn 50 or when I turn 60, that because I've put in the work for the past 20, 30, 40 years, that I would be able to continue walking around and enjoying my life rather than being bedridden and accelerating the aging process because I chose the, the laziest self on a daily basis leading up to that moment. So which version of me am I, am I rewarding with today's choices? Because that's all it is, man. It's all life is. A collection of choices. You will become the person that you choose to become over a long enough period of time. Now I know when you're first born, you. That's why I love, I love the quote. When you're born, you look like your parents. When you die, you look like your choices. I have done a lot of thinking over where along the way this switches, right? Like can you that that. Which is obviously why the legal system punishes adolescents differently than they punish adults. Because there's some varying degree of, of lack of responsibility there. Because you are mostly a product of your environment when you're a 13 year old kid or an 8 year old or a 17 year old or 15 year old. But somewhere along the way, you can't keep blaming all the external circumstances. You can't keep blame, blaming the cards that you were dealt when you were born. You can't keep blaming your parents or your teachers or this external event that happened infinitely forever. You like it. At some point you got to go, well, that was like, for you. Like, you know, I know people today to this day, we're in 2026. Covid was, I mean today as of this recording, today's March 11th. Covid was literally six years ago. Like this week, I think was when they announced the shutdown of the entire country. And I know people to this day who are still blaming Covid for their lack of opportunity, their lack of their lack of success or their current circumstances. It's like, look, I understand that that was a crazy black swan event, upended a lot of people's lives. And I'm not trying to downplay the crazy consequences that came from that, from that, you know, life altering event. However, it has been six years now. So, and you might be listening going like, well, it's only six years. It's like, okay, let's play that game then. Let's play that game. At what point is it going to switch? At what point is it, is it, is it too, is it too long? Is it one year? Is it six years? Is it 10 years, is it 15 years? Because at some point you can't continue to blame this thing for altering the direction of your life. You have to just take responsibility for where your life is and then pick a different direction and move relentlessly toward that direction. You cannot continue to blame these circumstances infinitely into the future. So at what point are you going to just accept that reality? And so what, what version of me am I rewarding with today's choices? Because that's all, that's all we have in life, is this collection of choices, and that's who you're going to end up being next. What am I doing today that keeps me lonely? The reason I put this question in this list of 25 questions is that other show, Travis Makes Friends has sort of forced me to do a lot of research on the loneliness epidemic. And I think that it is one of, one of the, one of the more insidious problems that is facing our culture today. Because it's, it's so invisible. It's, it's, it's in the, it's in the clouds. It's almost this abstract concept, this idea of loneliness. Because we're not, when we're talking about loneliness, it's not necessarily the same thing as social isolation. These are two definitions of loneliness. One of them is an objective third party measurement. Social isolation, meaning that you can measure the volume of hours that you spent around other people. And that is a little bit of an easier fix because if you feel socially isolated, then it's like, okay, well the prescription is stop socially isolating yourself, right? Go get around more people, join this community or go to the gym or be a part of this subculture or go to this meetup or join this Facebook group or whatever. You know, there's, there's more simple prescriptions to take care of that problem. However, loneliness, this is a completely subjective internal state, which is why I think it's so insidious. And when you look at the research and see how many physical ailments, not, not just mental, mental ailments make sense to me at least from that perspective. It's like loneliness would cause depression, it would cause anxiety, it would cause stress in some of these things and like, obviously detrimental for mental health. But the thing that I did not expect when I was researching all of this is how detrimental it is for your physical health. The, this idea of loneliness that it's worse for your physical health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day, worse for your physical health than drinking i5 alcoholic beverages a day. The long term effects on your health can be absolutely detrimental. And I think it's so silly that people, that people who would self identify as like biohackers, they're so willing to give up relationships in pursuit of biohacking that they're actually shooting themselves in the foot unknowingly because they're completely missing the point of what's actually going to give them a long, healthy, happy, fulfilled life and being socially accepted, being, being not, you know, the opposite of loneliness. This is one of those things that actually has a major, major impact on your ability to be happy long term. And it's, it's just not talked about any of these circles. Like people will, people will go through a two hour morning routine with ice baths and meditations and saunas and breath work and all this other crazy stuff. You know, they're, they're majoring in the minors, they're doing all these things that are like a, you know, 3% lift or a 1.2% lift or they, this, these 14 supplements, they're like choking down vitamins at the beginning of every day. Yet they, yet they don't spend any time with the people in their life that are most meaningful to them. Or they look at it like, okay, well, I'm gonna stop drinking alcohol because alcohol is bad for my long term health. But then they're giving up on going to the bar with their friends and making memories and building friendships and deep relationships with these people because they're actively trying to avoid this thing. And look, I'm not trying to be a proponent of alcohol here, okay? Obviously there's huge negative, obviously major downside sides to, to being an alcoholic and drinking alcohol. And if you have a problem with that, you should not engage in those activities and you should go find more sober things to do. I'm not suggesting that that's the issue. However, there are some people, I think that take this to the nth degree and they don't necessarily have a problem with, with drinking, but, but because they think that it's better for them to avoid drinking, they'll just stop hanging out with their friends. In social situations where their friends are drinking because they don't want to drink yet, they're just further isolating themselves and it actually is more detrimental to their long term health than the activity of drinking. Just went and had a beer or two, you don't have to drink 12 to have a little bit of social lubricant and enjoy hanging out with your friends. You, you. I, I think my, my point is just to say that I think people are Sacrificing something major in order to optimize things that are really minor. And so that's why I included that, this question in there, because I think this is going to be one of those. This, this is going to be like our generation smoking, you know what I mean? Like, it's so easy for us to vilify the entire previous generation for smoking all the time because they didn't have enough information at their fingertips. And now we have that information and it's easy to go, smoking's really bad for you. You shouldn't do that. And I think this is gonna be one of those things that we look back on in a few decades and go like, oh, remember that one time when we started to outsource all of our social connectivity to technology? That was crazy. That was a really bad idea. Look at all the negative societal impacts that that had. Look at all the negative health impacts that had. Look how that affected even life expectancy of a broader generalization, the broader population. You know, so what am I doing today that keeps me lonely? How, how can I make sure that I am continuously plugging in to the relationships in my life that matter? Then lastly, number 25, we wrap up this whole list of questions to ask yourself. What skill, if mastered, in the next 12 months, would disproportionately change my life? What skill, if mastered in the next 12 months, would disproportionately change my life? This is especially important when it comes to the core topic of my podcast, the Travis Makes Money podcast, because your skills will ultimately determine the, your ability to control how much money you make over the long, over a long enough period of time. And so if you are not in a, if you are not in a position financially that you want to be in, then it's probably due to a lack of skills. Meaning that the skill set that you currently have is either undervalued in your workplace or the general marketplace at large, or, or it just means that you. That there's, there's too many other people that could potentially do your job. Therefore your market pay is going to be lower than what other people's market pay might be. So if especially, especially, especially for your financial life, what's, what skill can you master in the next 12 months that would disproportionately change your life? And the beautiful thing is like, yeah, everybody looks at, like, you know, the Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours thing. And of course, you know, that is the technical definition of mastery as put out by Malcolm Gladwell in, in his book Outliers however, this like base level of mastery, this does not require 10,000 hours. It just requires more than most people are willing to put into that thing. So don't think that this is like, like, you know, if I want to master this next skill, it's going to take me the next 12 years of my life to master this. Just think of it in the sense that like, okay, well how can I make myself better than 95% of the other people that are that are doing this skill? And probably with dedicated work over a course of a 12 month period of time, you'd be able to significantly increase your ability to earn income and therefore change your life in that regard. So what skill, if master in the next 12 months would disproportionately.
- [18:32]
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- [19:03]
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Travis (Podcast Host)
Change my life. All right now we're gonna go through all of these one by one as just a quick recap for those of you who are listening and you can go hear a little bit more commentary on each of these. As I went through these. The first four parts of of this series here, but 25 questions to live a better life. When was the last time I risked embarrassment? When was the last time I got something I wanted? It happened. Now what? No bullshit. What would it take? When was the last time I changed my mind about a belief? This sucks. But what's the alternative? What is the worst case scenario and is it that bad? Why am I feeling this emotion? Who do I know that has the results that I want? Number 10. What are our cigarettes? What do we view as normal now that will vilify in 200 years? 11. What could I change about my environment that would make it easier to be the person I want to be? 12. When did I form the aspirations I'm currently pursuing and how have I changed since then? 13. Have I reached a learning plateau in my role or workplace since it time to consider a pivot? 14. Would I be okay if my kids ended up like me? Same habits, same self talk, same friends, etc. Etc. 15. Is this activity on my calendar getting me closer to my goals or further from them? 16. What would my 90 year old self tell me to cut out of my life immediately? 17. Who are the five people I've spent the most time with in the last 30 days and is that shaping me into the person I want to become? 18. What hard conversation am I avoiding and what would change if I had it today? 19. If I lived this day 365 more times, what would my year look like? 20. What story about myself have I outgrown but haven't stopped telling? 21. What am I pretending not to know? Am I building a life I actually want or the life someone else will applaud? Which version of me am I rewarding with today's choices? What am I doing today that keeps me lonely? And lastly, what skill if master, the next 12 months would disproportionately change my life. There's 25 questions to ask yourself every once in a while to live a better life. That's it for this episode of the show. Remember, money only solves your money problems. It's easier to solve the rest of your problems with money in the bank. So start there. Here on the Travis Makes Money podcast. Thanks for tuning guys. We'll catch you next time. Peace.
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