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- [00:00]
Darren
Predator. Badlands now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney.
- [00:06]
Movie Trailer Narrator
Here you're not the predator, you're the prey. Prey, prey, prey, prey.
- [00:14]
Darren
Critics are saying it's epic, stunning and breathtaking.
- [00:20]
Movie Trailer Narrator
Many have come here, none have survived.
- [00:25]
Darren
Badlands now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. Rated PG 13.
- [00:30]
Travis
What's up, moneymakers? Welcome back to the Travis Makes Money podcast. Today I'm giving you a sneak peek of this week's episode of my main show, Travis Makes Friends, a podcast all about the most valuable asset that we have in our lives, our relationships. So whether we're talking about your network, your marriage, your friendships, or even your relationship with yourself, these conversations are designed to help you grow, connect and level up in all areas. I've sat down in person with everyone from world class athletes and entertainers to bestselling authors, entrepreneurs, and even former presidents. And you're going to love the snippet from this week's episode. So take a listen and if you're feeling it, go check out the full conversation over on Travis Makes Friends. Let's get into it.
- [01:09]
You also went in for the ask, which obviously we talk a lot about relationships, networking, friendships and stuff like that on the show. And we kind of revisit the idea of, you know, always be the person that's adding 51% of the value in relationships and give, give, give, give, give, don't take and don't ask and things like that. However, there comes a point where you need to actually go in for an ask. How do you manage that in these types of, especially these types of like, really high quality, very coveted, almost impossible relationships to develop. How do you manage going in for an ask with those types of relationships without feeling like you are taking advantage or trying to, you know, get out of it?
- [01:54]
Darren
I was just telling somebody, a business partner in this gourmet popcorn company that I'm a part of, they were asking about leveraging a lot of my relationships and I'm like, I don't really leverage the relationships. That's the thing, because I never want a client to feel taken advantage of. What I'll do is if it's convenient at something where it's a business opportunity that we created. A lot different. Yeah, it's a lot different to bring somebody that could be bringing more value to an opportunity versus inconvenience to them on their schedule to get on a call, do a FaceTime, meet somebody in person in LA. I'm very mindful of that. And I think that's also why the relationships have Gone on the way they've gone on. You know what I'm saying?
- [02:35]
Travis
There's like a unspoken bank account that exists in relationships.
- [02:40]
Darren
Yeah. And that's why I have the relationship capital that I do. They all know that now. Look, I think my book was different. I think that was life and death and magic, you know, showed me again the big brother that is. He wrote the forward. He hosted a major event with New York City. Jeannie Buss came through. Mark Cuban was emailing me about, you want it on Twitter, you want it on Instagram, you want it everywhere. So proud of you. Dp his brother Brian's in recovery. I mean, that was different. That's something that I had no problem following up with people because every single one of them knows somebody. This is why that's suffering from addiction. And if, if somebody. I didn't have any, there's nobody I would ever think, oh, Darren, take advantage. Because I didn't write the book to make money. I wrote the book as a form of therapy to me and then to help save so many lives. And it's still doing it. So that was like my springboard to get the message out there to show people, doesn't matter if you're Park Avenue or park bench or Yale or jail, addiction will take you to your knees. So it's kind of like picking and choosing. So if there's anything that has to do with my aiming high foundation where we scholarship 25, 30, 30 people a year to treatment that I have no problem asking. Yeah, that's different. But when it's something that, you know, business related, I think people have to understand if, you know, for your listeners, if it's a big time busy executive like you just want to make sure you don't inconvenience them, you know, and more importantly, I mean, you hear me talk about this all the time. Stop talking about business all the time. Find out their likes, their dislikes, find out about their family, find out where they went to college, find out where they grew up, find out their hobbies, you know, what I like to do in their downtime or they like to go on vacation, like speaking my language, that stuff. First, the business part will come organically.
- [04:35]
Travis
Yeah. And easy. Like, I don't like when you go in for the ask. It doesn't feel like an ask when you're, when you're in that type of
- [04:42]
Darren
a position, you know, two people that are entrepreneurial or if you're in that same world or at the same lane, it's just going to flow at Some point.
- [04:50]
Travis
That's right.
- [04:50]
Darren
You know what I'm saying? But if you start that foundation based off a trust and that personal vibration to get to know. Know everything, you know, their wife, their kids, like that. Small talk is everything because it separates you from every single other person that just wants to go in there, get a po, get a check, get that business.
- [05:10]
Travis
So what's in it for me?
- [05:11]
Darren
Person, you know, and you don't have many opportunities.
- [05:14]
Travis
Right.
- [05:15]
Darren
Especially in today's world. You mess up once with the right person and you do it wrong. Guess what? Word of mouth travels really, really fast that you're not authentic. This wasn't organic. You're not sincere.
- [05:29]
Travis
You're a time waster. Yeah. You've got.
- [05:30]
Darren
You've got one thing that you're lucky to get accomplished and just doesn't feel good. I pick up on people right away, obviously. Still happens to me, but, you know, I'll have people within. I mean, I had a guy that asked me about some. I forgot some great preacher the other day, and once up, you know, at the end of the conversation, asked me for a favor for one of my clients, and I'm like, yeah, you know, I say like, I wanted to go see this preacher, and then he brings up this thing about Goggins, and I'm like, yep.
- [06:01]
Travis
Well, you just. You just automatically put them in a different bucket. You know what I mean? They just like. It goes through the filtration system in your brain.
- [06:08]
Darren
I've done is wait a couple weeks on the second part.
- [06:11]
Travis
Exactly.
- [06:12]
Darren
You know what I'm saying? Send a couple texts. Yeah, how you doing? You know, make small talk. And then, yeah, if you bring it up or, you know, I hope this isn't like an inconvenience, or if you don't mind me asking somebody to word it.
- [06:26]
Travis
Yeah, right, right.
- [06:27]
Darren
Everybody's trying to get ahead, but I think our generation works so much harder than this young one that just has social media and the ability to DM like at their fingertips. And I just don't think they. I just don't think they know.
- [06:42]
Travis
They think the connection is the end goal. When the connection is just the starting point, the relationship. It's like, it's just exactly, exactly. You can't build a relationship un. You have the connection, but the connection is not where, you know, I always liken it to, like, dating and stuff. You know what I mean? It's like you're not. You're not asking your girl to marry you on your first date. Exactly the same exact thing.
- [07:02]
Mars Men Advertiser
And.
- [07:02]
Travis
But for some reason, it's just okay in the business world. People do it all the time.
- [07:06]
Mars Men Advertiser
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- [09:25]
Marine Corps Narrator
to realize the future America needs. We understand what's needed from us to face each threat head on. We've earned our place in the fight for our nation's future. We are marines. We were made for this.
- [09:39]
Travis
Which is one reason, you know, I think the last time you came on, the show was called build you'd network. We rebranded it to Travis makes Friends because that was always, like, through the years of researching and all the people I talked to, that was basically my main takeaway. It was like, networking kind of sucks because people who look at it as networking do it so terribly, and it makes you feel gross when you leave the interaction. It's just like you feel used. You feel like a pawn on their chessboard. And it's just like, you know what? I no longer feel the immediate need to respond to your text message when you shoot me a text.
- [10:15]
Darren
You know what I mean? Because then you start prioritizing because everything's an energy suck, too. And I talk so much about my personal development protocol and everything I do from grounding, meditation in the morning, you know, my ice bath, cold shower, hydrogen water, you know, prayer. I do NLP, you know, handful of sessions every year, my 12 step meetings, y. And I think when you're in and. And helping serve as many people as possible, working out, dieting, I think red light therapy, all that stuff. I think when you're in that vibration, you. You feel it and you feel it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like that. How unauthentic, you know, people could be. So that's why as we get older, we got to keep our circle tighter. I was on the phone with my boy Michael yesterday for about 45 minutes. We do a lot of business. Who does a lot of business with me for Larry Bird? And there was nothing about business. It was just 45 minutes about, like, recovery. And now he has somebody near and dear to him that's got three years, and, you know, he just admires so much. I'm coming on 8 up on 18. And how every single day, I attack it even more passionately than I ever did before. And you know, that through all of this and the way that I've been living, like wealth means something completely different to me than everybody else. Like, I'm a trillionaire in the world of healing. Like, the amount of time, money, energy, effort, that's what makes me feel like I Won the lottery because I've seen that people actually listen to me and take my guide and show what do I do. I don't have drugs and alcohol issues, but I have, because I know God works through me. And, you know, I never. When I had that white light moment, bro, on July 2, 2008, on my knees and I screamed out to God in my apartment in New York City, take the money, take the business, take the notoriety. Any single day of freedom. If you take me out of hell, I'll spend one day at a time taking others out. You know, with me, I had a white light moment. Like, I felt the shock go through my body and something. Something left me and something changed in me. And so I love speaking, especially with your audience, because you have such a great, like the younger generation, like, understand about the power of relationship building. Understand what we have to do to stay on our own healing path and what really valuable in life.
- [12:32]
Travis
Yeah.
- [12:33]
Darren
You know, we all have trauma. We all have unresolved shit. I guess I can say it on the show.
- [12:38]
Travis
Yeah.
- [12:38]
Darren
And it's never ending. I'm not fully healed. New character defects might pop up, but I'm consciously aware of it. And I want to. You know, I gave you all these nuggets when I was on last time. I strive every day to say what I mean, mean what I say and not say and mean. Because I think that keeps you in a frequency of peace. Yeah. In a heated confrontation, put your ego aside. Don't send the text, don't send the email. Don't open up your big fat mouth. Try to understand them instead of you being understood. Yeah. And it's better to feel all right than right. Because you might be right. You might make a right point at the end, but your frequency and vibration is now off for several days. Or you might have just jeopardized a friendship that something could have came out wrong.
- [13:27]
Travis
Yeah. Like, you pat yourself on the back because you're like, I won. You know what I mean?
- [13:31]
Darren
Yeah.
- [13:32]
Travis
You won what? Exactly. Exactly.
- [13:34]
Darren
You know, and like, you see so much with the cars and the jets and the bling, and it's like, that's not fulfillment. Like, I love the fact that God touched me to be a voice on all this stuff because, I mean, all my friends saw me in my late teens and twenties and with the cars and the girls and. First one to buy my own big condo and the diamonds and the bling. And I was just like, wow, I can't even believe at one point that's what validated me from an external space, because the inner little Darren on the inside was so broken and was crying out for attention and validation until I started doing the work.
- [14:16]
Travis
What did you notice in your external relationships, so relationships outside of just you, when you fixed a lot of these things internally?
- [14:25]
Darren
I think. I think I started manifesting better quality people into my life and the real ones that were always there started looking at me differently. And there was a different level of respect. And I didn't do it to get a different level of respect. I did it because I wanted to live.
- [14:42]
Travis
That's right.
- [14:42]
Darren
You know what I'm saying? But now they're almost talking to me about maybe some challenges they have or they have family members that they need me to speak to or a coworker or a colleague. Because, you know, people in recovery, man, especially the ones that do the deal right with the 12 step fellowship, the way me and my spiritual brothers and sisters do it, we're more qualified than any doctor on earth, you know, and it gives us some sort of enlightened superpower ability that I could break through that wall one on one with somebody that's been a disaster for 10 years. More than an interventionist, more than doctors prescribing all these medications. Because I know what you're feeling. I know what it's like to be high. I also know what it's like to want to be high, which is even worse, and not have what you need. And the discomfort and the out of body experience of, I'm not going to survive this. Being up in your head, not getting the noises to stop. But I also found a solution. So to me, to be able to share that solution, see the lights come on in people's eyes, is the greatest thing in the world.