Scott Galloway (59:54)
Thanks, that's a generous question. So what I've tried to do is distill a basic version of masculinity down to some aspirational things. And I think of it as three legs of the stool. The first is to be a provider. And that upsets some people. I think every young man should assume at some point he's going to need to take economic responsibility for his household. And by the way, sometimes that means getting out of the way and being more supportive of your partner, who might be better at that whole money thing. But I think a pretty decent place to start as a man is that we live in a capitalist society. And the way the world is, is I will be disproportionately evaluated by other people and my self esteem will disproportionately be driven by my economic viability. And that you need to get certified. You need to show discipline, you need to work hard, you need to have the rational thinking to spend less than you make so that you can start saving some money. But the reality is 75% of women say economic viability is important in a mate. It's only 25% of men, right? Beyonce could work at McDonald's and marry Jay Z. The opposite is not true. You will be disproportionately evaluated based on your economic viability. Figure out how to make money. Now, I have been probably addicted to it. And people have pointed out online that I see everything through the lens of money. I grew up without money, so it's always been important to me, probably too important. But I stand by the fact that as a man, if you are not economically viable, your self esteem, your. Your place in society, in a capitalist society, your ability to find a mate is going to be severely diminished. So we want to get a tape in. The best way to start making, to make a lot of money is start making a little bit of money. I coach a lot of Young men, I'm like, if you have a smartphone, you can make money. Tomorrow we're going to start. I don't care if you need to be a Lyft driver, Uber driver, TaskRabbiter, going to Panera Bread, where they're desperate for people and they start them at 18 bucks an hour. But once you start making a little bit of money, you're going to realize how wonderful it is. You're going to start figuring out the marketplace. But you need to get out and make money. You need to be a provider. First leg of the stool. The whole point of, in my opinion, and getting some economic security and economic prosperity is such that you can move to the second thing, and that is being a protector. The most. The jobs, I think we view as being most masculine. Cop, firemen, military. At the end of the day, they all do one thing. They protect. And again, this is a personal anecdote, but I think it's true. I think the most rewarding thing in life is to feel like you are doing a key role as a protector. My moments of peace come when my kids are asleep, safe and warm, with a lot of opportunities, more opportunities than I had. My partner feels noticed and safe. And I feel like I can finally go on offense in my life and start protecting my community, my country, and start doing, you know, planting the trees, the shade of which I'll never sit under. I think that's that protection part is hugely important. And you were talking about Elon. I think Elon demonstrates unbelievable attributes of masculinity in some areas and a total deficiency in others. I think making. Taking enormous risks and having vision and working his ass off such that he can land a rocket on metal scissors and create hundreds and billions in value. Right on, brother. Right on. He inspired the EV race. You got to give him credit. Like, if we get to Mars, we're going to get there years or decades sooner because of Elon Musk. There couldn't be anything more masculine. I mean, this risk aggressive craziness, right? That men. And again, this will upset some people, that men are more prone to taking crazy risks. Right? A man is more likely to rush into a burning house. There's something called the Carnegie Award that literally. That awards people who put their own personal safety at risk to try and save someone else's from harm who they don't know. It's literally the running into a burning building thing. Every year, they give out about 80 awards, and every year about 75 of them go to men. So while we like to frame young men, as reckless. There's also valor in that, right? There's also. And the fact that men are risk aggressive and do stupid things. Occasionally they start really crazy stupid companies that end up being crazy genius. Elon represents that exponentially. So props. The issue I would have as musk as a role model for young men is he seems to have skipped the protection part. And that is when you're being sued concurrently by two women for sole custody of your child because you've never seen that child. I don't think there's anything more anti masculine. I think when you're the wealthiest man in the world cutting aid to HIV positive mothers, in my opinion that's a reputation extinction event. I just don't. I think he's missed the protection part. And the final third leg of the stool which triggers more people is procreation. We talked about this earlier. Embrace your horniness, put on a cool coat. Approach a woman. Get used to know what I do with young men is I go through a series of exercises like you gotta be strong, go to the gym, work. If you're under the age of 30, you have this dense bone structure and double twitch muscle and this amazing substance called testosterone. You want to be strong, you're going to feel better about yourself or fast, you want to run, do yoga, you're going to be healthier, you're going to be less depressed, more attractive to potential mates. The reason why women are interested in guys in shape is not because they have big muscles, because it reflects they have discipline and they can show up. The attributes of being in shape are what's attractive to women. Two, we're going to start making some money. And then three, we're going to put ourselves in the company of strangers outside of the home. And then once we're there for two or three weeks, I task them a series of exercises. I want you to go up to someone and express platonic interest. Hey man, do you want to watch the Arsenal game this weekend? Right. That's a little bit lower risk. And at some point I say you need to go ask a woman who you might be interested in or a guy for coffee, right? Hey, what are you doing? What's going on? Not on the first one. Just establish dialogue, Establish dialogue. And then the next time you say what you mentioned having a coffee and this is what's going to happen, most of them are going to say no. And I'm like, that's the victory. Because the only thing any wonderful thing is in my life has in common was it was preceded by a ton of no's. I applied to nine graduate schools. I got off the waiting list on one. I applied to 27 jobs. I got an interview with one and got hired because the guy who ran the division rode crew as I did. I didn't even really get the job. I got it through, I don't know, unfair advantage. I can't tell you how much rejection I have endured from women. But the reason I get, the reason I make more money than your average bear, the reason why I have more friends, I think, than a lot of dudes, the reason why I get to hang out with someone who's much higher character and much hotter than me. I've never been afraid of no. Never been afraid of no. So I'm trying to get young men to get to know and unfortunately they have these synthetic relationships that never say no to them. So they can't endure or reject no. 45% of men 18 to 22 have never asked a woman out in person. Think of that. Almost half of young men have never mustered the courage to or felt the fire because maybe they thought it'd be easier to go home and just watch porn. To actually approach a strange woman and ask her out in person. To me, that's a disaster. Because some of those skills, figuring out a rap, figuring out humor, figuring out how to demonstrate kindness, are the skills you need across different dimensions in your life. Those skills are going to serve you well in all aspects of your life. And those men are not learning those skills. So my code is provider, protector and procreator. And I think all three of those things can serve as guideposts for what a man wants to accomplish and how he helps make decisions and shape his behavior, if you will.