Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation

Episode: Aaron Goldenberg – Homeschool, Conversion Therapy, and Finally Coming Out

Hosts: Lola Blanc & Megan Elizabeth
Guest: Aaron Goldenberg
Release Date: October 1, 2025

Episode Overview

In this compelling episode, comedian and actor Aaron Goldenberg shares his deeply personal journey through the world of Bill Gothard’s IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles) homeschooling curriculum, his experience with conversion therapy, and his eventual embrace of his true identity as a gay man. Hosted by Lola Blanc and Megan Elizabeth—survivors of cults themselves—the conversation unpacks the interplay between fundamentalist beliefs, family dynamics, and the challenging process of self-acceptance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Aaron’s Upbringing: The IBLP, Homeschool, and Quiverfull Culture

[13:08-14:06]

• IBLP Background: Aaron’s family followed the IBLP, a fundamentalist Christian movement emphasizing strict gender roles, authority, and submission. The expectation was to raise “soldiers for Christ,” with an overt goal of increasing Christian numbers.
  • “A big part of my upbringing was IBLP...one of those families with a lot of kids. I'm one of 11. It was very much, at far too young of an age, drilled into us that families that have more kids are superior in God's eyes...” – Aaron ([13:08])
• Homeschooling: Aaron was homeschooled until 10th grade, insulated from secular influences, and groomed to defend creationism and conservative beliefs.
• Gender Roles & Authority: In the IBLP structure, men (even boys) were to exert authority over women and younger siblings, mirroring the “umbrella of authority.”
  • “Basically, if it was an oldest boy at home, like, you're in charge. You're the authority figure...” – Aaron ([23:41])

Public School Culture Shock & Religious Indoctrination

[15:08-17:24]

• Transition to High School: Going to public school in 10th grade, Aaron was prepared to "defend Christianity," but quickly encountered the disconnect between religious dogma and reality.
  • “All I do remember is...I got shut down. I was like, yeah, cool, talk about whatever you want. I was like, oh God, I didn't have an answer for that. And I felt like such a failure.” – Aaron ([17:10])
• Pressure to Convert Others: He describes feeling responsible for converting others, teachers included.

The Daily Reality: Spiritual Fear, Isolation, and Programming

[20:45-22:05]

• Spiritual Warfare: Aaron and Lola discuss being raised with the constant fear of demons, hell, and spiritual warfare—shared by many in fundamentalist environments.
  • “I'm at school and I'm fighting for the Lord, and it's like, most people are just at recess.” – Megan ([20:45])
• Mix of Influences: Aaron was affected by Messianic Judaism (because of his father), IBLP, and Pentecostalism—each with their own blend of strict, authoritarian controls.

The Male Perspective in IBLP: Power, Guilt, and Control

[23:09-28:43]

• Blind Obedience vs. Authority: While IBLP restricts women’s autonomy, boys are taught to become rulers—tasked with discipline, even physical punishment, of siblings.
• Cult of the Father: The father is elevated to a home cult leader; adult children are to submit to him on all decisions.
  • “I was in my mid-20s and...had not yet moved out because I felt like I couldn't. If I did, I would let the family down.” – Aaron ([25:54])
• Family Evolution: Following his parents’ eventual divorce, his mother abandoned homeschooling and IBLP doctrine, which improved the siblings’ well-being and independence.

Coming Out, Conversion Therapy, and the Struggle for Self-Acceptance

[32:35-52:55]

• Early Awareness and Denial: Aaron felt different from a very young age but was taught being gay was “not real”—just sinful behavior.
• Discovery and Forced Confession: At 15, Aaron’s parents discover evidence of his sexuality and confront him. Immediate shaming, withdrawal from church activities, and referral to “therapy” follow.
  • “I definitely was coming at it from a place of shame...but at least...this feels finally good to get it all out there.” – Aaron ([47:00])
• Conversion Therapy and Exodus International: Weekly therapy, ex-gay conferences, and literature designed to “fix” him through healing trauma or improving relationship with his father.
  • “The leaders [of Exodus] came out and said, we have not seen one successful case. We ourselves are not changed.” – Aaron ([50:57])
• Cognitive Dissonance: Years of trying to change himself leads to profound depression, shame, and feelings of failure.
  • “What ends up happening...is we really want it to go away...the message I internalized...was, oh, there’s something extra wrong with me that I can’t get this to stop.” – Aaron ([54:10])

Deconstruction, Recovery, and Radical Honesty

[55:51-63:50]

• Sobriety & The Steps: Participation in 12-step recovery programs demanded honesty, prompting deeper questioning of his beliefs and sexuality.
  • “One of the things is just radical honesty and making an inventory...I remember I literally wrote a note for my sponsor...‘You’re about to hear a lot of gay shit. But just so you know, I’m not gay.’” – Aaron ([56:10])
• Therapy and Relearning: With help from therapy and a supportive community, Aaron disentangles his identity from shame.
• Allowing Questions: Simply allowing himself to ask, "What if this isn't wrong?" began the unraveling of decades-long indoctrination.
  • “What if God not only doesn’t hate it about me, but actually sees it as something beautiful about me?...just started to crack the facade.” – Aaron ([61:43])

Embracing Authenticity: Life After Indoctrination

[64:28-66:24]

• Freedom from Agenda: Aaron now seeks genuine relationships without ulterior motives.
• Healing from Shame: Therapy helps him shed shame tied to sex and live without counting or keeping "score” on himself.
  • “Good, because that number doesn’t have to mean anything.” – Aaron, paraphrasing his therapist ([66:24])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Quiverfull-family superiority:
  “It was very much, at far too young of an age, drilled into us that families that have more kids are superior in God's eyes...” – Aaron ([13:12])
• On the umbrella of authority:
  “IBLP makes every father into a cult leader and every home into an island.” – Aaron ([25:07])
• On ‘conversion therapy’ results:
  “The leaders came out and said, we have not seen one successful case. We ourselves are not changed.” – Aaron ([50:57])
• On the internal message of conversion therapy:
  “The message that I internalized...was, oh, there’s something extra wrong with me that I can’t get this to stop.” – Aaron ([54:10])
• On cognitive dissonance & Christianity:
  “If God loves everyone...and maybe, what if this isn't a sin for me? What if it just is part of who I am?” – Aaron ([61:43])
• On healing:
  “I don't want to kill myself. Nowadays I can walk around relaxed and I'm not trying to modify my voice to be lower or walk a certain way or...lie about what my testimony is.” – Aaron ([70:00])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:48 – Lola and Megan introduce Aaron and outline episode themes
• 13:08–15:08 – Aaron’s IBLP upbringing, Quiverfull, and homeschooling
• 15:08–17:24 – Transition to public school; religious confrontation in secular spaces
• 23:09–28:43 – How IBLP indoctrinates boys and the family power dynamic
• 32:35–52:55 – Aaron’s sexuality; coming out; forced conversion therapy; impact of Exodus International
• 55:51–63:50 – Recovery, radical honesty, and challenging ingrained beliefs
• 64:28–66:24 – Genuine relationships, therapy, letting go of shame, and embracing sex without guilt
• 67:42–72:04 – Advice for others deconstructing sexuality and faith; the “what if it’s the devil” dilemma

Advice for Listeners and Deconstructing Beliefs

For Those Deconstructing Sexuality & Faith:
“Just keep asking questions...Find somebody around you to have those conversations with...Nowadays there are so many more resources online—people who have probably been where you're at and have come out of it.” – Aaron ([68:22])

On persistent fear ("what if this is the devil tricking me"):
“I don’t believe the devil’s real, so that’s easier for me now...I now live a life my younger self would think is deceived...But now I don’t want to kill myself. Now I can walk around relaxed...I can just be a human.” – Aaron ([69:29])

Uplifting Closure

• On living authentically:
  “Now you’re walking around feeling good.” – Lola ([72:10])
  “So gay in tight ass jeans.” – Aaron ([72:13])

• On self-acceptance:
  “You’re gay, and that’s okay. Just that simple message, but like really accepting that fully for what those words mean.” – Aaron ([67:42])

• On moving forward:
  “Taking a moment to celebrate what an incredible arc you’ve had...from Bill Gothard to being on the Hunting Wives, it’s so cool.” – Megan ([77:15])

Where to Find Aaron Goldenberg

• Instagram: @eringoldyboy
• IMDb: Aaron Goldenberg
• Recent projects: The Hunting Wives (Netflix), We’re So Dead (film, screenings nationally)

Final Thoughts

Aaron’s story is a raw, sometimes painful, sometimes humorous, always honest look at life inside—and after escaping—religious extremism. It serves as a testament to the lifelong impact of religious indoctrination, the emotional toll of conversion therapy, and the transformative power of honesty, support, and self-love.

For more information and listener stories:

• Instagram: @trustmepodcast
• TikTok: @trustmecultpodcast
• Email: trustmepodmail@gmail.com

(Summary omits ad reads and non-content banter per instructions.)