Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation
Episode: Tim Squirrell – Incels, Redpill, and the Manosphere
Release Date: November 5, 2025
Host(s): Lola Blanc and Megan Elizabeth
Guest: Tim Squirrell (Researcher of online misogynistic subcultures)
Episode Overview
This episode explores the evolving world of the "manosphere"—a collection of online communities including incels, redpill, MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way), and figures like Andrew Tate. Hosts Lola and Megan are joined by expert researcher Tim Squirrell to break down the subculture’s taxonomy, terminology, the interplay between self-help and nihilism, the dangers and harm these communities cause both to participants and society, and how to support individuals who may be susceptible or involved.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Guest Introduction: Tim Squirrell’s Background
[09:19-12:08]
- Tim is a researcher with a background in trust and authority in online communities, initially studying Reddit and internet linguistics.
- His interest in manosphere communities began while tracking the migration and evolution of terms like "cuck" and observing the overlap between fetish, men's rights, and alt-right spaces.
Quote:
"I started out life, my professional life ... doing a PhD at the University of Edinburgh and I was looking at how people in online communities come to trust each other and form relationships of authority and expertise." – Tim Squirrell [09:36]
2. Could Anyone Become an Incel?
[12:08-14:04]
- Tim reflects: While there's a tendency to distance oneself, many young men could find themselves drawn in given different circumstances—rooted in feelings of rejection, unpopularity, or lack of self-worth.
- These emotional seeds can either lead to self-improvement avenues (Redpill) or lead to nihilism (Blackpill/incels).
Quote:
"Those are the feelings that provide the seeds in which misogynistic beliefs can grow... But they can grow in a number of different directions." – Tim Squirrell [13:02]
3. Manosphere Taxonomy: Subgroups and Their Belief Systems
[16:04-22:45]
- Incels (Blackpill): Nihilistic belief that nothing can improve their social or romantic status; locus of control is external (fate, genetics).
- MGTOW/“Monk Mode”: Withdrawal from women and society's expectations for men; focus on male independence.
- Redpill: Pushes for self-improvement primarily as a method to achieve status with women (fitness, money, dominance).
- Pickup Artists (PUA): Promotes manipulative dating strategies, now somewhat outdated due to shifting cultural attitudes.
- Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs): Attend to issues like custody and alimony but often rooted in resentment or anti-feminist rhetoric.
- Andrew Tate & Modern Influencers: Commercialize manosphere content, blending misogyny with hustle culture and get-rich-quick schemes.
Memorable Exchange:
"What kind of man would let this happen to his family?"
[Lola: "My date I went on two days ago used these terms, including literally saying, he is in monk mode right now..." – 17:55]
4. From Community to Commerce: How Misogyny Became Monetized
[22:44-28:02]
- Misogyny has been professionalized; influencers like Andrew Tate convert disaffected men into paying subscribers for online programs and communities promising wealth and status.
- Strategies include controversial content for visibility and ‘hustle’ schemes (dropshipping, cryptocurrencies, OnlyFans management) as male equivalents to MLMs.
Quote:
“No longer can you just enjoy a bit of misogyny with your pals in a Reddit forum in a sort of amateur way. It's all professionalized these days.” – Tim Squirrell [22:45]
5. Evolving Beliefs: From Looksmaxing to Intersectionality
[29:28-35:21]
- Tim details “looksmaxing”—obsession with unchangeable physical traits as barriers to happiness/relationships (height, jaw structure, etc.).
- Communities shift blame from personal shortcomings to immutable characteristics, excusing self-improvement.
- Cross-pollination of ideas with analysis of race, neurodivergence, and social status leads to concepts like "jihadmaxing" and "geomaxing" (moving to countries where men feel they'll have more power or status).
- Parallels with radical feminism in viewing everything through structural disadvantages, but culminating in deepened misogyny.
Quote:
"They kind of get to intersectionality ... but then they go all the way back around and go, ah, no, the problem is that women are fundamentally genetically programmed to fuck with you." – Tim Squirrell [35:08]
6. Dangers & Real-World Harm of the Manosphere
[38:45-41:25]
- Direct links to suicide forums: Operators of major incel sites also run pro-suicide forums, credibly linked to dozens of deaths.
- Forums reinforce feelings of hopelessness, keep members stuck, encourage misogyny, and can glorify or excuse violence against women.
- Membership can result in worsening mental health, increased risk-taking, and self-harm.
Quote:
"The worst thing that can happen is that you get sucked into this and it encourages you to not just absorb horrifying misogyny, but also to potentially end your own life." – Tim Squirrell [39:05]
7. How the Algorithm Recruits Young Men
[46:00-49:16]
- Platforms like TikTok and YouTube increasingly serve up manosphere, pseudo-self-help, or extremist content to young men through recommendations and engagement algorithms—even if they’re not explicitly searching for it.
- First exposure is often through “funny” or motivational videos, which open the door to more extreme content.
Quote:
"These days, if you are a boy on YouTube, then you're gonna see some Andrew Tate, or maybe not Andrew Tate, but you'll see some David Goggins or you'll see some Jordan Peterson." – Tim Squirrell [46:11]
8. Harm to the Men Themselves
[43:07-45:27]
- Short-term effects: Momentary motivation, drive for fitness, financial success.
- Long-term effects: Drip-feed of misogynistic messaging, normalization of risky behaviors, vulnerability to grifts, and increased isolation.
- Steroid abuse and dubious financial schemes (crypto/MLMs) are common.
Quote:
"Crypto is MLMs for boys, basically." – Tim Squirrell [45:01]
9. Exit Strategies: Helping Someone Stuck in the Manosphere
[51:39-54:41]
- Debating or “logic-ing” someone out almost never works due to social and emotional (not rational) roots of belief.
- Best practice is compassionate engagement—maintain some relationship, provide emotional support, and offer alternative communities (the “pull factor”).
- Avoid alienating or labeling language: while boundaries are needed, being welcoming/regarding their humanity is key to de-radicalization.
Quote:
"You have to be able to say the thing that you're saying right now is wrong ... Rather than trying to say something about why the statistic they've given you ... is false, you have to appeal to the humanity of women and of everyone around them.” – Tim Squirrell [52:14]
Pull vs Push Factors:
- Push Factors: Negative triggers pushing someone out (crises, group infighting, disillusionment)
- Pull Factors: Positive social opportunities, friendship, hobbies, new communities drawing them out
10. The Role of Language, Boundaries, and Compassion
[55:54-59:09]
- Terms like “incel” can be value-laden or even a slur; important to use language thoughtfully to avoid shutting down dialogue.
- People “grow out” of incel communities, but often retain unhealthy beliefs—posing ongoing risk in relationships.
Quote:
"If you're trying to pull them out ... it's probably not going to help your cause to make them think you're a dick to them." – Tim Squirrell [58:01]
11. Final Messages: Community, Compassion, and Who’s Responsible
[69:46-73:05]
- Community: The antidote to isolation is genuine inclusion—small gestures matter.
- Men’s Responsibility: Men have to step up; misogyny and the manosphere are not women’s problem to solve alone.
- Outlook: Ultimately, many who flirt with or pass through incel communities do “exit,” but the poison can linger in their worldviews.
Quote:
"If there is someone in your life who is going through some rough shit and you find they are moving in a hateful direction ... keeping a small window open may mean the difference between that person having nowhere to go and having somewhere potentially to go at the point where everything blows up." – Tim Squirrell [69:51]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Those are the feelings that provide the seeds in which misogynistic beliefs can grow ...” – Tim Squirrell [13:02]
- "You found the worst self help place on earth." – Tim Squirrell [40:46]
- "Crypto is MLMs for boys, basically." – Tim Squirrell [45:01]
- "Pull factors are ... things that say, look, there's something else you could do ... you have to be there when they have their own crisis." – Tim Squirrell [54:41]
- "Men will have to step up ... it shouldn't all be on women to solve misogyny, obviously." – Tim Squirrell [72:21]
Fun moment:
Lola and Megan discuss Lola's recent date who used manosphere terms like "monk mode" (17:55–18:40), touching on how deeply manosphere language has entered even mainstream dating and male identity discussions.
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [09:19] — Tim Squirrell’s academic background and path to manosphere research
- [12:08] — The universal susceptibility to incel beliefs
- [16:18] — Taxonomy of manosphere groups
- [22:44] — How misogyny is commodified, especially through figures like Andrew Tate
- [29:28] — Evolution of incel ideology and intersection with social issues
- [39:05] — Mental health dangers, suicide forums, and the ultimate risks
- [46:00] — Algorithms and social media as recruitment and radicalization tools
- [51:39] — Why debate doesn’t work; compassionate intervention strategies
- [55:54] — The power and danger of labels, the role of language
- [69:46] — Final thoughts: windows of empathy, and who’s responsible for change
Tone & Style
The episode is both darkly funny and deeply empathetic. Lola, Megan, and Tim balance critical analysis, first-hand reflection, and humor to keep the discussion both approachable and serious. They avoid sensationalism, instead digging deep into psychological and social roots, with recurring emphasis on compassion and genuine connection as the antidote to manipulation and hate.
Summary for New Listeners
This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand the appeal and spread of the manosphere, the pathways and psychological roots of online misogyny, and how to support people vulnerable to radicalization—using heart, humor, and evidence-based perspective.