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Amy McGrath
On this week's Truth in the Barrel, we are celebrating Mother's Day with a special episode. We are talking about the balance of family and career. We were talking about the pressures and the joys that shape the experience of modern motherhood. And we have a special guest, my favorite guest on this show, my own mom, Dr. Marianne McGrath. Hey, Mom.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Hey. It's good to see you.
Amy McGrath
Yes. Haven't seen much of you since I've been the campaign trail.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
This is so true.
Amy McGrath
Oh, my gosh. Well, I, I wanted to. To talk, Mom, I wanted to start out with some of the. Some of the heavy stuff about motherhood today and wanted to ask you, how do you think it's better or worse than when I was a kid?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Oh, boy. I'm not sure. That sounds like a question that a reporter would ask you. It's not answerable. Not answ, you know, better or worse? I don't think in those terms. It's different. There's no question it's different. Some things are harder, some things are easier. I think that our world has complicated things immensely for children who have such a chore in development. And I think specifically I'm referring to the exposure to the Internet through all of the devices that we come in contact with and the way that that has changed our life because it's new. We haven't, I think, as a society, developed enough boundaries with it. So the downside to what otherwise clearly is in advance for society and I think will continue to be in the long term, the downside is that we are experiencing all of its negatives. Children are losing themselves in devices, are exposed to innumerable dangers on the Internet for which they're not equipped both cognitively and experientially, you know, so,
Amy McGrath
yeah, kids are exposed, I think you're right to, to a lot more stuff. And when I was a kid, I remember, you know, coming home from school and going outside. Going outside to play. Right. And.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Exactly.
Amy McGrath
Going and playing football or baseball or just running around the neighborhood, on your bike. And, you know, nowadays I feel like there's just so much more stuff for kids to do, whether it's, you know, they come home or they go to the iPad or going to watch tv. You know, I just feel like it's. It seems more complicated now. It seemed simpler, but I'm, you know, did you feel that when you. When you were like, 50, did you feel like, wow, when I was a kid, things were even simpler?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
I'm aware that in my whole lifetime, I don't think I've thought of things in terms of better or worse or simpler or more complicated, per se. Not so judgmentally different. Yes, they were different. You know, I mean, you can't. We've talked about what it was like for me when I was a kid. Throughout your growing up, you know, you had television to watch. We. We had to go four doors up to the only house in the neighborhood that had a television. And what did we watch? We watched half an hour of Kuklafran and Ollie, a puppet show.
Amy McGrath
I mean, riveting.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
But it was. Because it was back then, it was on the screen. And of course, you guys only had,
Amy McGrath
like, one bathroom for. For 10 people.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Absolutely. Absolutely. And as we grew up, boy, I. I tell you, you have to make a. Make a reservation for the bathroom. You found yourself getting up earlier and earlier in the morning.
Amy McGrath
But, you know,
Dr. Marianne McGrath
it was just different. You know, today, when kids come home from school, they look outside themselves for something to do instead of looking inside themselves. Their imagination is not the first thing they tap into. It's the on button on a device. Yeah. And it invites, you know, the outside in, which then shapes the activity of the child. I. I think that that's different. Very different than it was because, you know, that we spent hours outside, too, playing, and, you know, we didn't get bored very often. Now, admittedly, I had a. I had a whole group of people that I could play with because I have so many brothers and sisters. But, you know, I mean, we did. We made up. We made up all kinds of games, and we had a great time. And, you know, we. We experimented with activities around the house. I remember my brother and I clearing out, you know, old bushes and putting in flowers once one year because. Just because we could, you know.
Amy McGrath
Landscape redesign.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah, exactly. And, you know, so. So it's just. In some sense, yeah, I guess you could say it's. It was simpler. I think that there. When it. When we could look inside, and what we found was kind of a mirror of what we Lived in. We modeled what our parents, you know, modeled for us. And so I, I think we had more of a sense of control because it was somewhat familiar to us. Whereas today, you never know what you're going to see when you press that button, and you never know if it's real or not real. And so, you know, that. That absolutely leads to a sense of loss of control for anybody of any age. And so in that sense, I think, yeah, it was simpler.
Amy McGrath
I don't know. I constantly struggle with being a mom and with trying to instill some discipline in my kids, and. But then also, I mean, I want them to be happy, you know, and not feel down about themselves. And it's just like being a mom has been one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah.
Amy McGrath
Because I don't constantly doubt myself in my decisions as a mom, but there's definitely some doubt there when I make decisions about, you know, okay, how do I discipline my kid because of this action, There needs to be consequences. And, and I, I, I've just. There's no blueprint. There's no, you know, for how to do it. And I think that's been one of the hardest things for me.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah, I understand. And, you know, you, you say there's no blueprint, and of course there isn't, because our children are encountering different kinds of things which produce different kinds of behaviors than we showed when we were little. But you do have a blueprint, as we all have. My blueprint for how I parented, though I wasn't conscious of it at the time, was my parents. And, you know, as. As we take on the role of parents, I think people do tend to parent in some way reflective of how they were parented. Now, sometimes it's to do what their parents did because it worked, and sometimes it's to do the opposite of what their parents did because it was so traumatic.
Amy McGrath
Mom, did you call up your mom as much as I call up you? What do I do here? Did you call up my grandma? Did you call up your mom?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
As much as I could and ask her. And, you know, the thing is, is that I, being the. I was the oldest, you know, of eight kids. So in some sense, mom taught me how to parent because she needed my help with all those kids. And so I learned how to do a lot of things because she actively taught me, you know, time management in the home, you know, where you have to do 15 million things at once. You know, we. I learned that, you know, kind of as an adolescent, because she expected Me to the. The ultimate. Okay. The youngest of my sibs are twin girls, so when I was an adolescent, you know, a little older than Teddy, my mom had twins. So. Yeah, I know. My chairs. She fed one, I fed the other. How could it. How. You know, So, I mean, that was. That's pretty active teaching, but. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, we tease about calling one another up, but that's a great source of information. And, you know, I. I mean, think about the recipes that our kids love. My kids loved. You did your kids love. They were recipes that I loved as a child. And that's one of the reasons why 20 years ago, I made the first family cookbook, and all my brothers and sisters contributed to that. And those are the things we put in it were the things that, you know and that keep being repeated. So good things work.
Amy McGrath
I mean, my kids, they eat some of the same, you know, meals and recipes that your mom came up with that are in that book, and they love it.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah.
Amy McGrath
What. What is something that I may have done as a kid that really frustrated you in the moment, but looking back on it sort of makes you laugh, or was I just the perfect kid?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Oh, yeah. I had three, and it was my.
Amy McGrath
It was my sister and brother that were the really hard ones, and I was the one that, you know, you didn't have to work hard at.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah, well, dream on, dear. Oh, gosh, you know, I'm. I really. I think you're making up for it as an adult, but when you were. When you were a kid, you know, your. Your head was always working, and, you know, you. You loved playing, especially with your brother. You and your brother were more like twins than you were, you know, separated in years. And I have to say, you were quiet around adults and. But, you know, in school, you would come out with these amazing things, you
Amy McGrath
know,
Dr. Marianne McGrath
proposing a transit system like Seattle had for the city of Cincinnati, writing to Seattle and getting all the specs and building up the models. You know, I. Those are things. Or when you'd get. Go up to the. To the air show in Dayton, Ohio, when. Especially when the Blue Angels were there, and you'd ask these pilots who stood by their jets all these questions. And here was this little kid, you know, Ellie Size, you know, who was asking them things that I didn't even know what you were talking about. So, you know, I have to say it was frustrating to miss out on listening to all that, but I have the blessing of being able to be alive to listen to a lot of that now. And I. I'M grateful. So, yeah, I always learn something from your podcasts.
Amy McGrath
Well, we try here at Truth in the Barrel. We try to, we try to inform and have interesting conversations. And I have learned so much just doing the podcast, you know, talking to farmers and experts. And it's been a lot of fun and not quite as challenging as being a mom. And you know, on the campaign trail, I always have this line, but it's really the truth. And the line when people ask me, well, what's harder running for office, doing really high stakes Senate runs, sort of national debates and that kind of stuff, or being a fighter pilot. And I always say, well, none of them compare to the challenge of being a mom. And it has been true. Really. That has been the most challenging and also so far the most rewarding.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
What have you learned about yourself in the past six months that you didn't
Amy McGrath
know before in turn with, with being a mom or with the campaign trail?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah, with being a mom. I kind of know, you know, the campaign stuff.
Amy McGrath
But yeah, I think what I have learned is that I have stepped away a little bit more from being around for the kids day to day, and it's okay. That's what I have learned. I'm not, you know, I'm not there to pick them up from school every day now that I'm on the campaign trail, but I've learned that they're, they're doing okay. And that gives me, it makes me feel good because it makes me feel like I set them up, that they're on the right track, you know, that they're doing their homework, that they're happy, that they are, you know, playing their sports. Some injuries we're dealing with. But, you know, I've learned that, hey, I did okay, you know, in the last few years and getting them to where they are and we're not done yet. And this campaign thing is, you know, it's hard and it's a family thing because it affects all of us, but that it's important and we get through it. And what I do, mom, is I. Every once in a while, not every night, but every few weeks where we have dinner as a family, I kind of take a pause and I just remind everybody, hey, how are we doing? You know, this isn't forever. I thank the kids for being patient with me, you know, and just try to make sure that they know that I know this is, this is hard. It's a hard life that they're dealing with with mom doing these things. Does that make sense?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
It really does. And it Points up something that I think is in even sharper perspective the older you get, and that is that motherhood is a continual learning experience. You're always learning something new, and you're always challenged to meet new adventures, whatever they are. And. And it doesn't stop. It's not a. It's not something that we achieve. Boom. And then that's it. You know, you keep working on it, and, you know, we do better sometimes than others. We continue. I continue to make mistakes, you know, and I just hope that I am aware enough to continue to learn from them so that I don't keep making them all the time.
Amy McGrath
Yeah. You know, and I feel like with. We're never perfect, but, like, with. With. With Teddy, with my oldest, I did some things, like scrapbooks and things like that I spent a lot of time on that I did not do for. For Eleanor, our youngest. Right. Because I just didn't have the time. And I sort of grieve over that a little bit. But there are things that I have done and really carved out time to do with Eleanor and George that I didn't do with Teddy. And you know what. What I've learned through this, mom, is it's okay, you know, And I'm not. I don't have any, you know, regrets about it. One of the things that I do with Eleanor is we have a book where they're. They're great. I really recommend them to any parents. Go on Amazon or wherever your bookstore. And there's lots of different versions of these books where you can. Where the. The kid has a page, and you have a page, and the. The. The kid.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
It'll.
Amy McGrath
It'll. Sometimes the pages are fun pages, just like, these are my favorite things, and rate them 1 to 10. And then you have the exact same page on the parent side. So so much fun for Eleanor because she sits there and she fills it out, and then she gets very excited, hands it over to me. I can't look at her side until I do my side, and then I fill out, and then we. We have just so much fun learning about each other, you know, like, rate ketchup 1 to 10, you know? Do you like ketchup or not? I mean. I mean, it's just kind of. It sounds kind of crazy, but it's a lot of fun. And you don't have to do the whole book in one day. You just do it, you know, one page a night. And then the next page might be, you know, draw out a story or something like that. And she'll take you know, five or ten minutes and draw a cartoon, and then I get to draw a cartoon. And it's just. And we talk about it, and that's kind of like our thing, and it's. It's really, really fun.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yep, I know just what you mean. And, you know, I mean, I think about the things that were. The bonding things when you kids were little, you know, and in my professional life, you know, people used to ask me all the time, you know, what's. What's the most important thing that parents can do to blah, blah, blah? Well, I don't know, because every family is different and, you know, their cultural background and their likes and dislikes, all different. But I do think that one thing that stands out in my mind and I still believe is one of the most important things that people who want to continue to be connected can do is have meals together. I think a family meal together, especially as children grow, because it's the place where people can talk about their day. It's the place where you can learn about, you know, the good things and the not so good things. And, you know, people learn to talk to one another and with one another instead of, you know, burying oneself in a. In an iPhone. And, you know, it. That goes for extended families, too. And, you know, some of our most fun times, crazy times maybe, but fun times have been family dinners. And look at the size of our family now. I mean, you know, you kids all have kids, and when we get together, we've got a range of ages, and yet everybody is able to talk to one another, regardless of the differences. And that's a lovely skill, and it holds up well over time.
Amy McGrath
Yeah, and it's important. I mean, one of the things we do is that brings, I think, the kids back to the. The. Hey, we are a family, and we all have responsibilities within the family is, you know, somebody sets the table, somebody. Somebody else cleans the table off, somebody else does the dishes, somebody else does the trash, dog, water bowls. You know, all that stuff that's expected. And I learned that from you. You know, I learned that from you and dad that you're a kid, but you're expected to be a helper here and be a part of the family. And you have responsibilities. And so with our kids now, we have that. It seems kind of a small thing, but it matters. You know, it matters that the kids don't, you know, just come down, eat dinner and leave.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Right?
Amy McGrath
They cut. They're. They're down, they eat dinner, and nobody leaves until everything's cleaned up. You know, and I just think those are. Those are lessons that I learned from you.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah. Dad, you remember dad would say, this is not a hotel.
Amy McGrath
Yeah.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Turn out the lights. This is not a hotel.
Bill Sheehy
Hi, everybody. My name is Bill Sheehy, if you don't know. I'm the executive producer of Truth in the Barrel. And for this special Mother's Day episode, we actually got together some special guests and the moms of Truth in the Barrel to ask some questions to Amy and Dr. McGrath. So we're going to start with Sani Overle. She has this question for you.
Amy McGrath
Happy Mother's Day, Marianne. Happy Mother's Day, Amy. It's been such an honor to meet two women who are each pioneers in their own fields. So my question for you on this Mother's Day edition of Truth in the Barrel is given that you have three wonderful children and grandchildren, have any of them expressed an interest in medicine or maybe flying fighter jets? Wow. Well, I will start. Mom, you have more grandchildren than three, so you might have to answer that one. Not yet. I think my kids are still in the. They really want to be NFL football players or maybe Major League baseball players. Eleanor wanted to be an Olympian this year. So we're not. We're not to that point yet. But hopefully, hopefully they will look into medicine because they have a great grandmother, a great Grammy who knows everything, and. And every time we have a medical problem, we call Grammy up, and when they say, what. What's this all about? I say, I don't know. Let's call Grammy. And then being a fighter pilot, I mean, they are very interesting. I remember when. When the kids were little, I think Teddy was about 6, maybe 5 or 6, and George was about 3 or 4, and Ellie was. Was 1 or 2. I was running for Congress, and I was still picking the kids up from school, and I remember we got caught in traffic coming back from school. There was some accident or something. We were literally just sitting in the car, just the four of us, and they're all in the back seat, of course, in their car seats. And the two little ones fell asleep, and Teddy, the oldest, he was still awake, looking out the window. And so we were just at a standstill, and I decided to ask him, hey, just start a conversation. Hey, Teddy, what are you going to be when you grow up? And he said, mom, I'm going to be a. A policeman. And I'm like, oh, that's great. You know, you. You. You're a community servant. You know, it's.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
It's.
Amy McGrath
It's really Important you protect others. I said, well, that's fantastic. What do you think George is going to be when he grows up? And he said, well, Mom, George, George is going to be a fireman. And I said, okay, great. Get to drive a big truck. You're, you're, that's, that's great. You also help the community. That's a tough job, a really important job. And I said, but Teddy, don't you think you might want to be a fighter pilot or George, because that's really cool job. I mean, that's super, super cool. And he said, and I will never forget this, looking in the rearview mirror, I was, because we weren't going anywhere. I was looking in the rearview mirror at him and he said without a moment's hesitation, no, mom, that's what Ellie's going to be. And I started. I mean, tears were like coming down my eyes because I looked at him through the rearview mirror and I was thinking, my gosh, I didn't even consider that. You know, here I am talking to my boys and what they know of me was, you know, my mom's a fighter pilot. They, you know, he knew that at the age of six. And that was what, immediately what he thought Eleanor would do, you know, and I just think, I think back of that and I think, you know, a lot of times who we are, just who we are matters, that we are not even talking about these things, but the kids see how we are and who we are and it makes a difference.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah. You aren't kidding. None of my children wanted to go into medicine. Why that is, I'm not sure. But it could have had something to do with the fact that, you know, my husband was a teacher and he had summers off, which was really wonderful because he was such a wonderful dad. And so they did things, fun things, all summer long. That's the time that I worked full time was during the summer. Yeah.
Amy McGrath
He drug us to all the historical markers in Kentucky.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Call that fun Kentucky, you bet. So none of my children ever wanted to be in medicine. Interestingly, I have a couple of grandchildren who are leaning toward health related occupations, sports medicine kind of things. And in what capacity, I don't know. One of them has decided not to do that and is now a police officer. And my other granddaughter is going to be a junior, a senior in college this coming year and is yet to to decide about that. George has the most wonderful questions of all of my grandchildren. George wants to know the whys of even little things, you know, having to do with his body or Having to do with, you know, a process of getting better or getting sick or, you know, finding a germ or whatever. But you know that kids are curious. They're just curious. Hell's bells, I, I scream I screwed up on all of mine. I When you were little babies, I thought you were going to be something nowhere near what you were as adults. I thought Janie, my oldest, was going to be a Montessori teacher. Well, she's an attorney and a really good one, a prosecutor. Has been for years. I thought my son Matt was going to be a correspondent for NPR and travel the world while he travels the world. But he's a PhD in history and teaches high school students. And I thought that my youngest was going to be a veterinarian. But as Teddy would say, she's a fighter pilot.
Amy McGrath
Well, there's still time. But the thing with George is it's funny, you say he asked the most interesting questions because he's the kid who will ask me sometimes at dinner, mom, what is the worst thing you've ever ate in your entire life? And then I'll have to think about it and I'll answer and then he'll say, okay, mom, would you eat that thing again for $1,000? And then I have to really think about it. Well, let me think about that. I don't know if I would do.
Bill Sheehy
Well, it's funny that you mentioned that, Amy, because our next question comes from Katie Wheeler and she it, it has to do with the worst thing that you ever ate.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
So.
Amy McGrath
Oh, gosh. I'm Katie, I work on Amy's team. I am a mom of two. I have a one year old and a four year old. And so my question to Amy, as someone who has known her for a long time now, and I would like to know which was worse, natural labor or eating that rabbit eyeball when you were in the Marines? That's a good question, Katie. So the background on that is when I was in survival school, SERE school, survival evasion, resistance, escape school, which is really one of the hardest things that you do as an aviator in the military is to go through this couple week long course. Part of that is the survival piece where you're out into the woods and they kind of throw you out there and for many days and they teach you how to survive and you don't get a chance to eat really anything. And at one point I had to eat the eyeball out of a rabbit, dead rabbit, of course. And that was an interesting experience because I've never done that before. Let's just say, and it was very hard. I, I swallowed that thing a hole because I did not want to bite into it. And because I didn't think I could get through that process and swallowed it down, it came back up and went back down and came back up and went back down again. And that was pretty tough. And then of course, one of my children, we got to the hospital so late in the process of labor that I was had to have my second child without any epidural. And that was also an experience,
Dr. Marianne McGrath
shall
Amy McGrath
we say, which one was worse? I actually think that the eyeball was much worse because there was no joy in that experience whatsoever. Whereas even though having George was quite challenging, shall we say, there was a lot of joy there. So that, that's how I'd answer that.
Bill Sheehy
Perfect. That's. Not that I would know, but that was probably what I would have gone with too. Here's the next one. It comes from Mallory.
Amy McGrath
Hi, Amy, it's Mallory Hagan here. Happy to be on your team. I'm a mom of three. I've got a 10 year old, an 8 year old and a 6 and a half month old. And so I want to know, fellow soccer mom to soccer mom, what is the best part of coaching your kids and their sports? Coaching was something I always wanted to do. It was one of these bucket list things and I wanted to do it for all three of my children. I wanted to coach them in at least one sport and I did. I ended up coaching all three of my children in two different sports. Teddy and baseball and soccer, and George in baseball and soccer and Eleanor in softball and soccer. And I think the coolest thing about it was just having them be able to see me as somebody that knew the sports and could make it fun for both them and their fellow teammates. And the other part of that, which was a learning piece, was for them to see me as the coach who was not focused just on them. And that was, that was a learning piece, particularly for a couple of my kids, because they wanted the attention that they normally got from just from mom. But when I couldn't give them that attention when I was focused on, you know, coaching the team, I think that was healthy for them to see and it was a lot of fun. Mom, I, I think you, you were involved in some of the sports when I was a kid. Dad was too. Yeah, when we were little, right?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Yeah.
Amy McGrath
Baseball or softball. Yeah.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Huh? Absolutely. And you know, you all did some sport most of the time, more than one. So, you know, everybody swam, for example, and we were at every swim meet and you know, you were the three sport winner in, at high school. And Matt, too played, you know, you played softball and soccer and oh my goodness, all those good things. Basketball, of course.
Bill Sheehy
Amazing. So we've actually, we've talked through the moms of Truth in the Barrel. We actually have three, maybe four special guests that had some questions for you. We'll do the first one, a guy named George. He's. Yeah, he's. Let's see what George had.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
What was Grammy like growing up?
Amy McGrath
What was Grammy like growing up? Grammy was. Grammy was a unique mom at the time because Grammy worked at Children's Hospital in Cincinnati and was a doctor in an era where a lot of moms did not do that kind of thing, you know, and a lot of moms were, were home when the kids came home. But, you know, your grammy was still at work and did a really important job. And I remember being a kid and mom, you had your beeper. And that to me, and I think to my brother and sister, reminded us of how important your work was. You were on call and if somebody was having a life threatening problem, you would get a beep that you were needed at the hospital or you were needed on the phone immediately. And I remember my dad, you know, shutting us all up when that happened. We all had to be quiet, you know, because you had to go get to the phone and get whatever that emergency was right away. And we all felt the seriousness of that, of your work. And I think that was maybe different than most kids growing up that, you know, had moms. But also you were somebody who, when you came home, you, you were what you, what you call fully present for us. And I loved that. You know, when you came home, we all wanted your attention. We all wanted to talk with you. And you, you kind of, you were there for us. Mom, how many times did you get grounded as a kid? That's an interesting question coming from Teddy. I would have thought it would have come from George. I think that I don't remember being grounded at all. I was pretty good kid, I think, and I was the youngest and kind of watched. I had the benefit of watching, you know, my older sister and my older brother. And I kind of knew what to do and what not to do. So I don't remember being grounded. Do you remember any of that?
Dr. Marianne McGrath
I don't think you. I don't think you were grounded. I, I didn't use grounding. Yeah. Very much at all. In fact, I, I can't remember ever. Well, I take that back. I remember grounding your brother once, but. But no, not Janie and not you and not Matt for the most part. Yeah.
Amy McGrath
Now, dinosaurs. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I think, you know, the 1900s. The 1900s. Wow. I want to say it was a little simpler, but maybe that's just how I remember it. I feel like it's very chaotic right now, as we discussed at the beginning of this podcast, but it was fun. You know, we did fun things in the summer, and we did fun things after school, and that's what I remember about growing up. And I believed in our leaders then. I knew a little bit about Ronald Reagan and George Bush, the first Margaret Thatcher. Governor Martha Lane Collins was our governor in Kentucky. I believed in them. I couldn't vote. I didn't understand politics or anything, but I. I respected them. And, you know, so I do remember that.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Oh, gosh. Can I redo that? Stop.
Amy McGrath
Put your hands down. Amy, did you ever think you'd have three kids like this? Did I ever think I'd have three kids like this and a husband like this? No. But it's been a joy. It really has been the joy of my life. Every day is. Is a new adventure, and some days are harder than others, but when I see them and I see their smiles and I, I. It is definitely the best part so far of my life.
Bill Sheehy
We have one last question slash message that we want to show you real quick.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Happy Mother's Day.
Amy McGrath
That's great. I hope. I hope they actually remember on Mother's Day.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Well, you know, every day is Kids Day, so.
Amy McGrath
That's right. That is right. Because they will ask inevitably, when is Kids Day? And I will say every day.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Right.
Amy McGrath
Well, this has been a great episode. I really appreciate you coming on mom and having this discussion. And, you know, we got to have you back on to talk politics in the news of the day, because that's important, too. And, you know, people really like your perspective. I. I think on when. When I talk to folks in Kentucky and we talk about the podcast, the. The compliments I get the most are, hey, we want to hear more from.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
Oh, that's scary. I must say, I think being old, maybe I'm a little more honest when I was. Well, I don't know about that, but I have to say, it's this. This has been fun. I was a little leery. You know, I am about this sort of thing, but. Because that's not my stick. But, you know, you. You're funny because you made the comment you didn't know much about politics and when you were younger. But that's not true. I remember you and Matt sitting on the floor in the living room, watching the television, watching the Berlin Wall come down and talking about it. And what you said was right on target, the two of you. So even as children, you were aware of that kind of thing. That's. That's been my gift. My gift has been three incredibly wonderful children. And believe me, I appreciate it. So.
Amy McGrath
Well, happy Mother's Day. And to you, too, sweet Grammy. My mom. You're the best.
Dr. Marianne McGrath
You, too, Aim.
Podcast: Truth in the Barrel
Hosts: Amy McGrath & Denver Riggleman
Episode: A Heart To Heart With Mom | The Truth In The Barrel Mother's Day Special
Release Date: May 7, 2026
In honor of Mother’s Day, Amy McGrath is joined by her mother, Dr. Marianne McGrath, for a heartfelt discussion on motherhood across generations. They candidly reflect on the challenges, joys, and evolving nature of raising children. The pair is later joined by the “moms of Truth in the Barrel,” who pose their own questions, as do Amy’s children in a special family segment. The episode is rich in personal stories, practical advice, and the honest reality of modern motherhood.
Technological Shifts:
Dr. Marianne observes that today’s world is not necessarily better nor worse for mothers and children—just different, primarily due to technology.
“There’s no question it’s different. Some things are harder, some things are easier… Our world has complicated things immensely for children… exposure to the internet… has changed our life…”
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (01:24)
Imagination vs. Devices:
Children now look outside themselves (to devices) for entertainment, rather than to their imagination, as in past generations.
“Their imagination is not the first thing they tap into. It’s the on button on a device.” — Dr. Marianne McGrath (05:17)
Nostalgia for Simplicity:
Amy and her mother reminisce about the seemingly simpler days of playing outdoors, having fewer distractions, and managing with minimal household amenities.
Parenting Uncertainty:
Amy shares that being a mom is her most challenging role, especially without a clear “blueprint.”
“There’s no blueprint... and I think that’s been one of the hardest things for me.”
— Amy McGrath (08:25)
Inherited (and Improved) Parenting:
Marianne suggests that everyone parents, consciously or not, as a reflection of their upbringing—sometimes repeating what worked, sometimes correcting what didn’t.
“People do tend to parent in some way reflective of how they were parented. Sometimes it’s to do what their parents did because it worked, and sometimes it’s to do the opposite...”
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (09:03)
Learning by Doing:
Marianne’s early parenting came from practical experience as the eldest of eight siblings. She created a family cookbook to preserve and pass on family traditions—habits Amy continues with her own kids.
Childhood Memories:
Amy prods for childhood mischief. Marianne laughs, recalling Amy’s early ambition and curiosity (proposing transit systems to city leaders, interrogating pilots at airshows), and admits:
“You’re making up for it as an adult... Your head was always working.” — Dr. Marianne McGrath (13:50) “I always learn something from your podcasts.” — Dr. Marianne McGrath (14:20)
The True Challenge:
“None of [politics or flying] compare to the challenge of being a mom. And it has been the most challenging and also so far the most rewarding.”
— Amy McGrath (15:32)
Guilt and Letting Go:
Amy opens up about campaign-related absence from her children but finds pride in her kids’ resilience and adaptability.
“I did okay, you know, in the last few years and getting them to where they are... it’s important and we get through it.”
— Amy McGrath (16:18)
Continuous Learning:
Marianne emphasizes that motherhood is a never-ending learning process.
“It’s not something that we achieve—boom—and then that’s it. We keep working on it.”
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (18:25)
Different Parenting, Different Kids:
Amy mentions the pressure to provide children with equally rich experiences, coming to peace with doing things differently for each.
“What I’ve learned... is it’s okay... you know, and I’m not—I don’t have any regrets about it.”
— Amy McGrath (19:27)
Mother–Child Bonding Rituals:
Amy shares about interactive parent-child journals as bonding activities, recommending them to other parents for nightly connection.
“So much fun for Eleanor because she sits there and she fills it out, and then she gets very excited, hands it over to me... We have just so much fun learning about each other.”
— Amy McGrath (20:36)
The Power of Family Meals:
Marianne and Amy agree that sharing meals together is a vital family connector, opening communication between children and parents.
“Family meal together, especially as children grow, is the place where people can talk about their day... and learn to talk to one another and with one another.”
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (22:05)
Household Responsibilities:
Amy continues the tradition of shared chores after meals—a small thing that builds responsibility and shared ownership.
“‘This is not a hotel. Turn off the lights.’”—the voice of Amy’s father, passed down to Amy’s children.
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (25:01)
Career Aspirations:
Amy and Marianne reflect on whether their children and grandchildren aspire to similar careers—medicine or military. Kids are still figuring it out, but as Amy shares:
“A lot of times who we are, just who we are, matters... kids see how we are and who we are and it makes a difference.”
— Amy McGrath (28:42)
Unexpected Outcomes:
Marianne notes her children’s careers defied her expectations—prosecutor, historian, fighter pilot—showing that children set their own paths.
“The eyeball was much worse because there was no joy in that experience whatsoever... at least there was joy in the natural labor.”
— Amy McGrath (35:26)
“The coolest thing about it was just having them be able to see me as somebody that knew the sports and could make it fun... and for them to see me as the coach who was not focused just on them.”
— Amy McGrath (36:27)
What Was Grammy Like?
Amy describes Marianne as a working mother who was “fully present” at home despite her demanding job in medicine.
“When you came home, you were... fully present for us, and I loved that.”
— Amy McGrath (39:05)
Grounding and Discipline:
Amy admits to being the "good kid" and points out that grounding was rare growing up, consistent with Marianne's parenting style.
Changing Times:
Amy shares memories of a “simpler” time and believing in national leaders—a wistful nod to changing public trust.
Three Kids and Counting:
When asked if she imagined having her current life, Amy expresses gratitude:
“Every day is a new adventure... It is definitely the best part so far of my life.”
— Amy McGrath (43:23)
On Modern Parenting:
“Children are losing themselves in devices, are exposed to innumerable dangers on the Internet for which they’re not equipped...”
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (01:41)
On Family and Connection:
“We made the first family cookbook, and all my brothers and sisters contributed to that... Those are the things we put in it—things that, you know, keep being repeated. So good things work.”
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (11:38)
On Growing Up with a “Pioneer” Mom:
“Grammy worked at Children’s Hospital... was a doctor in an era where a lot of moms did not do that kind of thing... But also you were someone who... was fully present...”
— Amy McGrath (39:00)
On Kids Learning by Example:
“A lot of times who we are, just who we are, matters, that we are not even talking about these things, but the kids see how we are and who we are, and it makes a difference.”
— Amy McGrath (28:42)
On Family Chores:
“This is not a hotel. Turn out the lights.”
— Amy McGrath recalling her father (25:01)
On the Lifelong Experiment of Motherhood:
“Motherhood is a continual learning experience... and it doesn’t stop.”
— Dr. Marianne McGrath (18:25)
The conversation is warm, honest, and often funny—openly discussing both doubts and delights of motherhood. Marianne’s wisdom, Amy’s humor, and their candid exchanges offer genuine insight and practical takeaways about parenting, family, and the value of staying connected through tradition and presence. This episode resonates deeply for anyone juggling family, ambition, and the ever-changing realities of raising children.
For more episodes and info: www.TruthintheBarrel.com