Podcast
Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools
Hosted by by Kelly DuPée · EN
Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools Podcast provides practical and easy to learn tools and tips so you can have the lifelong marriage that you really want. Each episode offers suggestions that address the various challenges all marriages face. If your marriage is struggling, if you're engaged, or newly married, this podcast will help you learn how to be married and avoid making the mistakes a lot of couples make. If you've been married for a while, it also will help you grow closer to each other and address issues that could be causing you problems.
23episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Discern God's Best when Dating
2w ago00:14:56Tap to summarizeDating & Marriage: How I Discerned God’s Best (4 Steps to Trust God While Dating)I share how a friend’s question after a breakup—“Was she God’s best for you?”—completely changed the way I think about dating and discernment. As a Christian marriage coach and pastor who’s been married nearly 39 years, I explain that the purpose of dating isn’t just falling in love, but evaluating whether this is the person you could faithfully marry for life, because problems in dating often follow you into marriage. I teach that asking “Is this God’s best?” should come from faith, surrender, and listening to the Holy Spirit, peace (or a lack of peace), and confirmation from wise believers. I give four practical steps: slow down momentum, surrender before you ask, ask God directly and expect Him to speak, and look for spiritual fruit while inviting wisdom early. If you’re married, I show how to apply this question to how you treat and communicate with your spouse.00:00 Heartbreak And One Question00:40 Dating With God’s Best01:59 Purpose Of Dating03:20 Faith Not Fear04:33 My Dating Pattern05:49 Slow Down Momentum06:54 Surrender Before Asking08:12 Expect God To Speak09:27 Look For Fruit12:08 If You’re Married13:06 Recap And Next Steps13:43 Coaching Offer And OutroHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on 10 Questions to Ask Before you get Married: https://youtu.be/aqJqQ2JSVAc
Transcribe →Stress Free Vacations for Couples
3w ago00:10:33Tap to summarizeVacation Planning Tips for Couples: How to Have a Great Trip With Your SpouseJoin me as I share practical vacation planning tips to help couples enjoy a successful getaway and avoid the stress that can create conflict in marriage. I emphasize planning logistics and details together, talking through what each spouse wants, and preventing predictable frustrations by making reservations, researching directions, and buying tickets in advance. I encourage setting realistic expectations, keeping the trip light and fun instead of trying to solve major relationship issues, and addressing deeper problems after returning home, including using my free couples communication guide. I also discuss talking about money ahead of time, budgeting and saving to avoid penny-pinching, viewing the trip as an investment in your spouse, and building in rest and downtime. I close by encouraging prayer, gratitude, and booking a free strategy call if help is needed.00:00 Vacation Fail Setup00:47 Plan to Succeed01:19 Align Expectations Together02:45 Prevent Predictable Stress04:02 Keep It Light05:58 Budget Without Tension08:29 Rest and Reconnect09:30 Pray and Get Support10:25 Final BlessingHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75
Transcribe →Habits Husbands Wished their Wives Had
3w ago00:23:32Tap to summarize7 Habits Husbands Wish Their Wives Had In this video I share what I’ve learned from 1,000+ hours of coaching conversations with couples (plus 38 years of marriage) about the habits many husbands quietly wish their wives would develop—without guilt, condemnation, or turning it into a weapon. I explain why small, consistent habits shape the atmosphere and security of a marriage, then walk through seven practical habits with Scripture: extend grace and forgiveness without keeping score, let your husband help and carry burdens, initiate intimacy or suggest an alternative time, affirm/honor/appreciate him and be his friend, communicate clearly instead of expecting mind-reading (and avoid controlling), give him space to recharge without guilt, and choose trust unless there’s a real reason not to. I also invite couples to a free 30-minute strategy call and offer a communication guide.00:00 habits husbands wished04:46 Habit #1: Grace & Forgiveness07:17 Habit #2: Let Me Help You09:40 Habit #3: Initiate Intimacy12:10 Habit #4: Affirm & Appreciate Him13:55 Habit #5: Tell Me What You Want16:58 Habit #6: Give Him Space to Recharge19:12 Habit #7: Trust MeHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on 7 Habits Wives Wished their Husbands Had: https://youtu.be/ZCEd3ckaXh8and the 5 R's of an Effective Apology: https://youtu.be/kKUgGgV2M9c
Transcribe →7 Habits Wives Wish For
May 2600:16:17Tap to summarize7 Habits Wives Wish Their Husbands Had Christian marriage coach Kelly DuPée shares seven practical habits he says wives most often wish their husbands practiced, drawn from over 1,000 hours of coaching and 38 years of marriage, emphasizing this is not about guilt but growth. The habits are: care about your wife by truly listening and supporting her; don’t get defensive when she raises concerns and offer a real apology using his “five R” method; always tell the truth to protect trust; make her feel special by prioritizing her with thoughtful attention; do what you say you’ll do to build reliability; strengthen connection by asking about closeness, planning time together, and speaking her love language; and be her partner through emotional openness, shared problem-solving, and spiritual growth. He encourages husbands to self-evaluate, ask their wives for feedback, start with one habit, and offers a free 30-minute strategy call and a free communication guide.00:00 What Wives Wish You Knew00:54 What You'll Learn Today01:20 Meet Your Coach01:57 Free Resources And Calls02:40 No Guilt Just Growth03:52 Habit 1 Care About Her05:34 Habit 2 Drop Defensiveness07:37 Habit 3 Tell The Truth08:36 Habit 4 Make Her Special09:51 Habit 5 Keep Your Word11:01 Habit 6 Build Connection12:55 Habit 7 Be True Partners14:31 Put One Habit Into Action15:31 Get Help And Next StepsHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on the Five R's of an Apology - https://youtu.be/kKUgGgV2M9cHere's the link to my video on How to Make your Wife Feel Special- https://youtu.be/H7rg83yCt8U
Transcribe →Boundaries that Work
May 1200:10:46Tap to summarize7 Steps to Set Boundaries That Actually Work (Christian Marriage Help)In this episode, I explain how to move from simply saying no to setting clear, Godly boundaries in marriage when a spouse ignores your “no” and disrespect, pressure, or irresponsibility keep creating resentment. I share a progression I teach—suggestion, wish, request, then boundary—and clarify that a request depends on your partner’s behavior while a boundary depends on your behavior, including a consequence that stops enabling. Using biblical principles of grace and truth, I walk through seven practical steps: identify the specific behavior, consider your leverage (often distance for protection), write an I-statement and if-then script, get input from a trusted friend or coach, rehearse, share the boundary calmly and clearly, and follow through consistently. 00:00 When No Gets Ignored00:28 Series Setup and Resources01:36 Why Boundaries Matter02:11 Requests vs Boundaries03:03 Stop Enabling Consequences04:04 Grace and Truth Framework05:08 Step 1 Define Behavior05:35 Step 2 Find Leverage06:23 Step 3 Write Script07:05 Steps 4-5 Get Input Practice08:19 Steps 6-7 Share Follow Through09:25 Boundaries Heal Connection09:47 Coaching Invite and WrapHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my videos on Saying No: Make it okay to say no - https://youtu.be/l08-Jo8UjoASaying no with kindness - https://youtu.be/65I2YmSk86cHow to hear "No" - https://youtu.be/alS20C5DjugWhy it's so hard to say no - https://youtu.be/Vl_DbMNWzxoSaying No Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIVwkz_tHswcg7Dc5FP4LOI0OmqgkCXm-
Transcribe →Afraid to say No to your Spouse?
May 600:19:08Tap to summarizeWhy Saying No in Marriage Feels So Hard (and How to Rebuild a Kind No Without Guilt)In this episode of my “No Series,” I explain why saying no in marriage can feel unsafe and how to retrain yourself to say no with clarity, kindness, and confidence. I cover common emotional barriers—guilt from past manipulation, fear of conflict, fear of consequences like withdrawal or sarcasm, feeling overly responsible for a spouse’s emotions, shame and low self-worth, and trauma-driven panic responses where the amygdala overrides rational thinking and leads to “fawn” people-pleasing. I share practical steps to rebuild your “no muscle,” including naming what’s driving you, buying time with “Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you,” practicing no in low-stakes situations, adding warmth, offering win-win counteroffers, expecting discomfort, and seeking help from God and wise counsel. 00:00 Why No Feels Risky00:33 About Kelly and Free Resources01:05 No Series and Missing Piece02:03 Why No Feels Unsafe02:18 Barrier One Guilt03:37 Barrier Two Conflict Fear04:14 More Barriers and Brain Wiring06:35 No Is a Muscle07:30 Step One Name the Driver08:34 Step Two Buy Time10:28 Step Three Practice No12:10 Step Four Add Warmth13:12 Counteroffers and Win Win14:51 Expect Discomfort and Grow16:31 Ask God and Get Help17:49 Final Challenge and Wrap UpHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my videos on Saying No:- Make it Ok to say No in your marriage: https://youtu.be/l08-Jo8UjoA- How to Say No: https://youtu.be/65I2YmSk86c- How to Hear No: https://youtu.be/alS20C5DjugHere's the link to the Saying No playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIVwkz_tHswcg7Dc5FP4LOI0OmqgkCXm-
Transcribe →Hearing "No" from your Spouse
Apr 2900:18:19Tap to summarizeHearing No in Marriage: How to Respond with Strength, Love, and RespectI talk about why many marriages don’t break down because of a “no,” but because of what happens in the next 60 seconds—disappointment, anger, and pressure turning into conflict. As part of my series on incorporating no into your relationship, I share a biblical foundation (Ephesians 5:33, Matthew 5:37, 2 Corinthians 9:7, Amos 3:3) and practical tools for hearing no in marriage: don’t debate the no, don’t punish honesty, regulate disappointment like an adult, ask clarifying questions without pressure, address repeated patterns at the right time using I-statements, and ask permission to revisit the issue to pursue a win-win. I also encourage prayer and support, including a free 30-minute strategy call and other resources at https://turnitup.coach. 00:00 When No Sparks Conflict01:07 Series Overview and Who I Am01:59 Biblical Foundation for No03:48 Why No Builds Trust05:15 Tool 1 Stop Debating06:38 Tool 2 Don't Punish Honesty07:16 Tool 3 Regulate Disappointment09:00 Tool 4 Clarify Without Pressure10:20 Tool 5 Address Patterns Later12:04 Tool 6 Ask to Revisit13:33 Get Help and Coaching17:57 Final Encouragement and Next StepsHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on Making it Ok to say No: https://youtu.be/l08-Jo8UjoAHow to say No: https://youtu.be/65I2YmSk86cSaying No Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIVwkz_tHswcg7Dc5FP4LOI0OmqgkCXm-
Transcribe →Saying No to your Spouse
Apr 2100:14:33Tap to summarizeSay No Better to your Spouse. How to Set Boundaries with Clarity & Kindness (Without Starting a Fight)In this episode, I teach how saying no in marriage can be safe, clear, and kind—so you can protect your peace without damaging connection. I explain that no is not rejection but information, and that honest boundaries support unity and trust. Using biblical guidance (Matthew 5:37, 2 Corinthians 9:7, Genesis 2:24, Amos 3:3, Philippians), I share five practical steps: buy time before answering, evaluate what the request will cost and what it means, say no clearly (no hints or “maybe”), add warmth through tone and body language, and make a counter offer when possible. I also warn against vague maybes, harsh shutdowns, reluctant yeses, and spiritual guilt trips, and I give real-life scripts for common situations like events, help, intimacy, and budgeting.00:00 Why Saying No Matters02:36 Biblical Boundaries Basics03:51 Build the No Muscle04:54 Step 1 Buy Time06:08 Step 2 Count the Cost06:38 Step 3 Say It Clearly07:45 Step 4 Add Warmth10:54 Step 5 Counter Offers12:45 Real Life Scripts13:53 Healthy No ConclusionHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on Making it Ok to Say No: https://youtu.be/l08-Jo8UjoA
Transcribe →Making Saying No OK in your Marriage
Apr 1400:09:32Tap to summarizeSaying No in Marriage Without Starting a Fight (A Biblical Way to Make “No” Feel Safe Again)I share a simple Biblical way to make saying no feel safe again in marriage by treating “no” as information, not rejection, so you respond with curiosity instead of control. I explain how conflict escalates when a request becomes a fight over what it “means,” and why you actually want your spouse to be able to say no—because if they can’t say no, they can’t truly say yes. Using Ephesians 4:3 and Matthew 5:37, I emphasize integrity, peace, and avoiding pressure or manipulation. I then give five practical tools: ask in a way that allows a real answer, respond to no with curiosity, add warmth and a counter offer when you say no, separate the request from your worth, and say yes as much as you reasonably can. I end with a weekly challenge to practice kind no’s and curious responses.Here's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on How to ask for what you need in your marriage: https://youtu.be/2sUcdK5dPCg00:00 When No Explodes00:55 Why No Feels Personal02:10 The No Means Yes Problem02:41 No Is Information03:23 Biblical Foundation04:43 Five Tools Overview04:51 Ask For Real Answers05:34 Curiosity Not Control06:07 Warm No With Options07:49 Don't Tie Worth To No08:10 Say Yes More Often08:40 Weekly Challenge Wrap09:09 Final Encouragement
Transcribe →Making Requests
Apr 800:12:27Tap to summarizeTurn Conflict Into Clarity: Making Requests in MarriageIn this episode, I share a simple “volume knob” tool to reduce everyday marriage frustration by improving how we communicate. Using a real example from a couple with an infant, I explain four levels of communication—suggestion, wish, request, and boundary—and how moving from hints to clear, respectful making requests can prevent resentment and power struggles. I teach you to start requests with “Would you please,” and to make SMART requests (specific, measurable, action-oriented, reasonable, time-limited). I also cover healthy options for responding to requests—yes (with follow-through), no (with clarity), or a counter offer (changing the task or time)—and when boundaries are needed to protect respect, safety, and trust. Here's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on How to ask for what you need in your marriage: https://youtu.be/2sUcdK5dPCg00:00 Why Marriage Feels Hard00:54 Infant Naptime Conflict02:22 The Volume Knob Framework02:54 Suggestions Can Sound Critical03:37 Wishes Share Your Heart04:28 Make Clear Smart Requests06:20 Responding Yes No Counter09:24 When You Need Boundaries11:13 Try This Tonight11:56 Final Encouragement Next StepsAre you feeling like your spouse just doesn't hear you? A lot of everyday marriage frustration isn't about WHAT you're asking for, but HOW you're asking it. This video offers practical marriage advice to improve your communication skills and address common relationship problems. Learn to speak clearly and with love, fostering effective communication in marriage.
Transcribe →