Podcast
Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools
Hosted by by Kelly DuPée · EN
Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools Podcast provides practical and easy to learn tools and tips so you can have the lifelong marriage that you really want. Each episode offers suggestions that address the various challenges all marriages face. If your marriage is struggling, if you're engaged, or newly married, this podcast will help you learn how to be married and avoid making the mistakes a lot of couples make. If you've been married for a while, it also will help you grow closer to each other and address issues that could be causing you problems.
30episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Show Understanding then Apologize!
Mar 1000:10:30Tap to summarizeShow Understanding + The 5 Rs Apology: The Skill That Calms Hard Conversations (Marriage & Work)I share how a coaching client used a marriage communication skill to calm an explosive workplace meeting by choosing to slow down, listen, repeat the complaint back, and show understanding (James 1:19). When people feel heard, tension drops and collaboration becomes possible. I then explain what to do after things cool down: offer an ownership-based apology using my “Five Rs”—Repeat the offense clearly, take Responsibility without excuses, express Remorse by acknowledging the pain caused, Repent with a real change plan and make things right, and Request forgiveness (especially in marriage). I warn against apology killers like “but” and “if,” and connect these tools to biblical wisdom like Proverbs 15:1. Here's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on how to Show Understanding: https://youtu.be/UR3aW4oHBEw00:00 Marriage Skill Surprise00:47 Work Meeting Turnaround01:26 Show Understanding Method02:18 Resources And Coaching03:46 Five Rs Apology07:26 Apology Killers08:29 Christlike Leadership09:26 Weekly Challenge09:55 Next Steps And OutroI taught a client a specific skill to improve his marriage, and he then used it to avoid a work disaster. This approach quickly turned a room full of angry individuals into a productive partnership, demonstrating its use in difficult conversations. This essential skill will help you lead better at home and in the office, fostering peaceful relationships and effective communication.
Transcribe →Quick Tempered? Here's the Fix
Mar 400:17:43Tap to summarizeStop Anger From Exploding: 6 Biblical Steps for Quick-Tempered Spouses In this episode, I talk to the husband or wife who loves their spouse and loves God but still struggles with anger that comes out as snapping, sarcasm, raised voices, or slamming doors. I explain from Ephesians 4:26–27 that anger is a natural emotion but becomes sin when it turns explosive and gives the devil a foothold, and I connect this with James 1:19’s call to be slow to speak and slow to become angry. I share a practical, biblical plan to help quick tempered people widen the gap between trigger and reaction: identify physical warning signs, use a 90-second pause, check your HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), pray and breathe, call a time out with a clear return time, and ask God and others for help as the Holy Spirit develops self-control. Here's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on how to call a Timeout: https://youtu.be/viVBjMqoPzAalso here's the link to my Managing Anger Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIVwkz_tHswcYkTflnH6X6Kna4FYWeLD400:00 Anger Hurts Marriage00:50 Channel Intro And Free Guide01:26 What Bible Says About Anger03:43 Quick Tempered Gap05:02 Spot Physical Warning Signs06:54 Use The 90 Second Rule08:31 Check Your HALT Triggers09:56 Pray And Breathe10:41 Call A Healthy Timeout13:44 Get Help And Self Control17:05 Wrap Up And Next Steps
Transcribe →Call a Time Out!
Feb 2400:13:50Tap to summarizeUse a Time Out to Stop Explosive Anger in Your Marriage (Christian Marriage Coaching)In this episode, I share one simple tool—a time out—to stop an argument from exploding, protect your connection, and help you come back to actually solve the issue. I explain how anger can damage a marriage through blowups or silent hostility. I ground the teaching in scripture (Ephesians 4:26–27 and Proverbs 15:1, 14:29, 14:17) and explain the physical fight-or-flight response that makes clear thinking harder. I define what a time out is (a short, agreed-upon pause with a promise to return) and what it is not (storming off, punishing, disappearing, using silence as a weapon, or avoiding the issue). I walk through how to use a time out: call it early and only on yourself, use a simple script, agree on the length and return time, keep the promise to return and talk, and commit to keeping anger under control by avoiding trigger words and silent hostility. I also suggest calming tactics like drinking water and using “I” statements and share examples from couples. Here's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on what the book of Proverbs teaches us about managing anger: https://youtu.be/8-06tyzS0dcTimeline:0:00 Anger feels like a third person in your home + the “time out” tool0:40 Who I am (Kelly Dupee) + subscribe for weekly marriage tips1:10 Sally and Bill’s pattern: blowups and silent hostility2:05 What scripture says about anger (Ephesians, Proverbs)3:10 Why anger escalates physically (fight or flight, amygdala vs prefrontal cortex)4:05 What a time out is—and what it is NOT5:15 Step 1: Call the time out early (and only on yourself)6:40 Step 2: Use a simple script to call a time out7:35 Step 3: Agree on the length and return time8:20 Step 4: Keep your promise to return and talk (don’t avoid)9:35 What to do during a time out (water, “I” statements)10:35 Step 5: Commit to keeping anger under control (no trigger words, no silent hostility)12:05 How the time out helped other couples + you can do this too12:45 Free 30-minute strategy call + more resources (Proverbs video)13:20 Subscribe + blessing for your marriageDoes it sometimes feel like anger is a third person in your house, damaging your relationships and turning every conversation into a conflict? 😤 This video offers a simple tool to help you calm down arguments and protect your connection. As your Christian marriage coach, I'm here to provide marriage help and improve your communication skills as a couple. 👉 Want help putting this into practice? Click the link in my bio or comment HELP below and let's set up a FREE 30-minute strategy call!
Transcribe →Break Defensiveness in your Marriage
Feb 1700:08:59Tap to summarizeBreak the Cycle of Defensiveness in Marriage In this episode, I share how I coached a wife named Beth and her husband to break a painful cycle of defensiveness that made her feel like she was walking on eggshells. I explain that defensiveness is usually a symptom rooted in pride or fear, and I walk through a biblical approach to changing the pattern using Proverbs 15:1 and James 1:19. I cover why confronting while hot fails, how to shift from accusation to vulnerability using I statements, and how husbands can stop “lawyering” for themselves by listening and repeating back what they hear. I also teach the five R’s of a true apology—repeat, responsibility, remorse, repent, and request forgiveness—and show how these steps helped Beth and her husband move from constant conflict to real connection by fighting for each other instead of against each other.Don't forget to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on the 5 R's of an Apology and why they matter https://youtu.be/RIMLvepIR-8Timeline:00:00 Walking on Eggshells: Beth’s Story & What You’ll Learn01:45 Why Defensiveness Happens: Pride vs. Fear02:20 Proverbs 15:1 — Your Approach Sets the Tone03:03 Principle #1: Don’t Confront While You’re Hot03:50 Principle #2: Swap Accusations for Vulnerable “I” Statements04:50 His Part: James 1:19 Listening Without Defending05:52 Principle #4: The 5 R’s Apology (Repeat → Request Forgiveness)07:28 Results: Breaking the Anger Loop & Fighting for Each Other08:09 Wrap-Up Challenge + Next Steps (Guide, Call, More Videos)
Transcribe →Expect God to Speak
Feb 1000:11:29Tap to summarizeExpect to Hear from God!Are you seeking God's guidance for your marriage but feeling uncertain if you're truly hearing Him? In this video I'll guide you through the importance of praying with faith and expectation to hear God's voice. I share practical steps on how to pray expectantly, listen for His guidance through the Word, Holy Spirit, and wise counsel, and act on His prompts to strengthen your marriage. Throughout the video, I emphasize the necessity of faith in prayer, as outlined in scriptures like Hebrews 11:6, Mark 11:24, and James 1:5-7. Join me as we explore how God wants to lead you towards a healthy, strong, and resilient marriage. Stick around till the end for details on a free couples communication guide and a strategy call to help you further.Don't forget to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on how to hear God's voice: https://youtu.be/_IWfZZd036o00:00 Introduction: Seeking God's Guidance in Marriage00:24 The Importance of Praying with Faith01:44 How God Guides Us03:02 The Role of Expectation in Prayer08:03 Practical Steps to Hear God's Voice10:16 Conclusion: Strengthening Your Faith and Marriage
Transcribe →Hearing God's Voice
Feb 300:06:51Tap to summarizeHow to Hear God's Voice for Guidance in Your MarriageAre you praying and asking God to heal your marriage and guide you in becoming a better spouse but struggling to hear His voice? This video is for you. Hi, I'm Kelly Dupee, your Christian marriage coach and author of 'Turn It Up: How to Have The Lifelong Marriage that You Really Want'. In this episode, I'll show you simple and hopeful ways to recognize God's guidance in your marriage. We discuss how God speaks to us through scripture and the Holy Spirit's prompting, and the importance of testing these thoughts against scripture. I'll also share a simple formula to help you create space, ask clear questions, and listen for God’s voice. Join me as we explore how to hear God's direction and rebuild the connection in your marriage.Don't forget to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on how to improve your listening skills: https://youtu.be/6j_LXfKKLCU00:00 Introduction: Seeking God's Guidance in Marriage01:04 Understanding How God Speaks01:20 The Role of Scripture and the Holy Spirit02:15 Recognizing God's Voice03:46 Practical Steps to Hear God's Voice05:45 Conclusion: Embracing God's Guidance
Transcribe →Communication Isn't Your Problem
Jan 2800:14:03Tap to summarizeStrengthening Your Marriage: Beyond Communication StrugglesAre you and your spouse having difficulties in your relationship and think it's because of communication issues? In this video I explain that communication might not be the real problem. Instead, the core issue is often a lack of connection. Drawing from Biblical principles and my experience, I discuss how drifting apart leads to negative sentiments and how reconnecting with your spouse is crucial. I offer six practical strategies to strengthen your connection, prioritize your relationship, and ultimately improve communication. Watch this video for actionable tips and Biblical wisdom to help your marriage thrive.Don't forget to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on how to improve your listening skills: https://youtu.be/6j_LXfKKLCU00:00 Introduction: Understanding Communication Struggles00:43 The Real Issue: Disconnection, Not Communication03:13 The Dimmer Switch Analogy03:51 Prioritizing Your Relationship05:42 Six Ways to Reconnect with Your Spouse12:40 Conclusion: Taking Action to Reconnect
Transcribe →God Heal My Marriage Please
Jan 2100:18:03Tap to summarizeInviting God into Your Marriage: Steps to Healing and TransformationHave you ever wondered if God is listening to your prayers to heal your marriage? In this video, I assure you that God does care and is listening. I'm Kelly Dupee, your Christian marriage coach and author, here to guide you on how to genuinely invite God into your marriage for real transformation. Discover how to truly seek God's help with seven practical steps, including admitting you need help, asking God to change you, praying with open hands, seeking wisdom, trusting God to work in your spouse's heart, expecting God to work, and getting help. Join me in taking action to heal and strengthen your marriage. Don't forget to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to the video on Inviting God into your Marriage: https://youtu.be/AH41nBtWzW800:00 Introduction: Inviting God into Your Marriage01:09 Understanding God's Will for Your Marriage02:46 Seven Action Steps to Heal Your Marriage02:50 Step 1: Admit You Need Help and God04:51 Step 2: Ask God to Change You06:40 Step 3: Pray with Open Hands08:27 Step 4: Ask for Wisdom and Guidance11:07 Step 5: Trust God to Work in Your Spouse's Heart12:24 Step 6: Expect God to Work14:15 Step 7: Get Some Help16:35 Conclusion: Taking Action and Seeking HelpHave you ever cried out to God for help, perhaps for the healing of your marriage, only to feel unheard? 🙏 This video assures you that God is listening and deeply cares, suggesting we might need to approach our prayers in a different way. I encourage you to invite God into your life, asking for wisdom and divine guidance, as true change often begins with grace. For more relationship advice and support, remember to connect with me.
Transcribe →Grace and Truth for Marriages
Jan 1400:10:50Tap to summarizeTransform Your Marriage with Grace and TruthHas your spouse ever told you to change or felt the need to change for a better marriage? Often, we think trying harder is the solution. However, receiving and giving grace can bring real change. I'm Kelly DuPee, your Christian marriage coach, and in this video, I'll share five ways to bring grace into your marriage. We'll explore the true meaning of grace and how it involves acceptance, unconditional love, and truth to create a safe environment where your spouse can grow and change. Ready to build a grace-filled marriage? Watch now and don't forget to subscribe for more insights on strengthening your relationship.Don't forget to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/7500:00 Introduction: The Need for Change in Marriage01:26 Understanding Grace in Marriage01:44 Five Ways to Bring Grace into Your Marriage01:48 First Way: Understanding What Grace Is03:43 Second Way: Giving Grace When Someone Has Failed05:20 Third Way: Loving Your Spouse Unconditionally06:54 Fourth Way: Combining Grace with Truth07:58 Fifth Way: Grace as the Foundation for Change and Growth09:40 Action Steps and ConclusionAre you facing a moment in your marriage where change feels necessary? This message explores whether the key to a better relationship lies in trying harder or in receiving grace. It's about choosing to love "unconditionally" and fostering "accountability in marriage" to build a stronger foundation. What if the approach to growth and a thriving marriage is rooted in how you'd want to be loved and accepted?
Transcribe →When Your Spouse is Your Enemy
Aug 14Tap to summarizeIdentify the True Enemy: Winning the Spiritual Battle in Your MarriageIn this video, I explore the common conflicts in marriages, emphasizing that you and your spouse are not each other's enemies. The real enemy, Satan, aims to divide and conquer your marriage through lies, temptations, and unresolved anger. I offer three practical, Biblically-based steps to shift your perspective from fighting each other to fighting for your marriage. These steps include identifying the enemy's tactics, using confrontation, repentance, and forgiveness, and leveraging the power of praying together. I also offer a free downloadable Couple's Communication Guide to help you build a strong spiritual battle plan for your marriage.Here's the link to my free Couple's Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguide00:00 The Recurring Fight: A Common Struggle00:27 Identifying the Real Enemy01:43 The Spiritual Perspective on Marriage Conflict05:00 Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Marriage08:52 The Power of Prayer in Marriage11:40 Final Thoughts and a Prayer for Couples12:18 Subscribe for More Marriage TipsHere's the link to the 5 R's of an Apology and why they matter: https://youtu.be/kKUgGgV2M9cIf you'd like prayer for your marriage or relationship, call or text me at 626-804-1731 and let's schedule a call.
Transcribe →