Podcast Summary

Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health
Episode: Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic and the Power of Intergenerational Friendship (S5E4)
Date: October 29, 2025
Host: Frances Leese (Tufts Health Plan | Boston Globe Media)

Overview: The Episode’s Main Theme

This episode explores the rise of loneliness—especially among older adults—and the transformative effects of friendships that span generations. Through personal storytelling, the conversation between guests Pooja and Peter (who share a 51-year age gap) and insight from Kyle Rubedo (Executive Director, Friendship Works), the episode illustrates how intergenerational friendships provide connection, support, and wisdom, combating isolation and nurturing mental well-being.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power and Wisdom of Intergenerational Friendship

• Personal Reflection: Frances’ Aunt and the Value of Elder Wisdom (00:04)
  • Frances Leese opens by acknowledging the unique lessons and grounded wisdom she receives from her aunt, emphasizing the depth that older generations bring to friendships.
    • “Friendships with elders can be a very beautiful thing. And sometimes they carry the exact kind of wisdom we didn’t even know we were searching for.” — Frances Leese [00:49]

2. Pooja and Peter: How an Unlikely Friendship Grows

• Meeting Through Friendship Works (02:36)

  • Pooja (a professor in her 30s) and Peter (a retired teacher/consultant in his 80s) were matched via the Friendly Visitor Program.
  • Their connection—initially formed over Zoom—is described as natural and deeply rewarding.
    • “Our first hangout was over Zoom...but it felt a very natural friendship from the beginning.” — Pooja [02:51]

• Friendship as Gardening, Not Construction (03:03)

  • Peter rejects the stereotypical idea of “building” friendships, preferring a gardening metaphor:
    • “We planted the seed of a friendship in a potting soil and put that on the windowsill, watered it and weeded it...That’s a more organic way of describing friendship.” — Peter [03:03]
  • Frances underscores: “We don’t build friendships, they grow.” [03:51]

• Loneliness and the Gift of New Family (04:56)

  • Peter describes the role of his friendship network:
    • “Here are these three wonderful people who have added enormously to my quality of life and who have become members of my local extended family.” — Peter [04:56]

• Mutual Benefit and Grounding (05:38–06:26)

  • Both Peter and Pooja sought connection—Pooja, after moving neighborhoods and feeling isolated herself; Peter, seeking companionship after family moved away.
  • “Getting to know Peter has really helped me feel more grounded in the Boston community that can be so nomadic sometimes.” — Pooja [06:17]

• The Friendship Shift: From Program to Genuine Relationship (06:31–06:54)

  • Neither can identify a specific moment when the relationship became more than a program—it simply was.
    • “The friendship started as if we had known each other for decades beforehand.” — Peter [06:46]

3. Honesty, Support, and Openness

• Curiosity Across Generations (07:14–07:45)

  • Acting with open curiosity fuels their conversations and deepens the bond.
    • “The older I get, the more effectively curious I become.” — Peter [07:14]
    • “Curiosity...really drives a lot of our conversations.” — Pooja [07:45]

• Deeper Support Through Life’s Challenges (08:33–09:19)

  • Pooja explains how Peter’s nonjudgmental listening grounds her and helps her work through challenges.
  • Peter shares openly about his own history of isolation and addiction, now using his experiences to offer wisdom without judgment:
    • “There’s no need for any of us to be judgmental toward oneself, let alone other people...when I treat myself and love myself in a healthy way, that then becomes a model for the way I can befriend and love other people.” — Peter [10:18]

• Mutual Admiration and Family-Like Connection (13:10–13:32)

  • Peter celebrates Pooja’s academic work and their ability to weave Friendship Works into meaningful life events.
  • “Peter is a friend. Like all of my friends, Friendship Works is more than a program.” — Pooja [12:51]
  • The dynamic has truly become “family” for both [13:28].

4. Finding Time and Value in Friendship

• Making It Work with Busy Schedules (13:39–14:10)

  • Pooja reassures listeners that even one hour per week is “doable” and yields immense emotional rewards.
    • “Even just the basic, straightforward one hour a week feels very doable. And it’s so much more rewarding than just that one hour.” — Pooja [13:47]

• The Emotional Wealth of Connection (14:10–14:46)

  • “We wear this relationship like a glove. It fits so perfectly...there’s an afterglow. And it makes me happy...this really is a kind of wealth that goes into our souls.” — Peter [14:10]
  • Both describe an increased sense of joy and well-being from their ongoing friendship.

Friendship Works: Organizational Solutions to Loneliness

1. The Mission and Scale (15:56–17:50)

• Kyle Rubedo describes Friendship Works’ mission:
  • Combatting loneliness and isolation among older adults through personal, intergenerational friendship.
  • Loneliness is distinguished from social isolation—loneliness being a feeling, isolation being an environmental lack of connection.
    • “For the past 41 years, Friendship Works has been incredibly dedicated...to simply using the power of friendship and connection...” — Kyle Rubedo [16:44–17:45]
  • The issue is vast—about a quarter to a third of older adults report loneliness/isolation [17:50].

2. Why Maintaining Connection Gets Harder With Age (18:07–20:01)

• Post-retirement, bereavement, mobility/health changes, and dispersed families all erode social networks.
• Social peaks are often in youth/young adulthood; social connections often decline after that.

3. Friendship Works Programs and Innovations (20:10–22:18)

• Friendly Visiting: Weekly in-person or virtual meetups focusing on conversation and companionship.

• Medical Escort: Volunteers help older adults attend medical appointments—improving overall health access.

• Pet Pals and Music Works: Bringing pets and music into housing communities to spark joy, interaction, and connection.

  “What starts a little bit as a relational experience...bleeds into a straight up friendship where...I’m just friends with Jane and I go talk with Jane every Tuesday afternoon.” — Kyle Rubedo [21:52]

4. The Tangible and Emotional Benefits (22:27–25:01)

• Reliability: Older adults anticipate and cherish their regular friendly visits.
• Health Impact: Volunteers help ensure medical appointments are kept.
• Joy and Energy: Intergenerational friendships bring older adults energy and a sense of purpose; volunteers gain wisdom, connection, and often honor their own loved ones.

5. Mental Health Impact (25:11–26:06)

• Emotional Support: Social engagement prevents despair and can motivate people to reengage with life outside their immediate surroundings.

  “[A participant] expressed that she had not left her apartment for about 18 months prior to being connected to this volunteer...having a volunteer...encouraged her to get outside, move around, and have these conversations...” — Kyle Rubedo [25:41]

6. Breaking Age-Based Stereotypes (26:06–27:26)

• Friendship enables deeper appreciation of elders’ full life stories and wisdom.
  • “I think by forging these relationships with intergenerational volunteers, just by nature, it helps to break down those myths and stereotypes.” — Kyle Rubedo [27:22]

7. Cultural Perspectives and Policy Possibilities (27:26–28:39)

• The U.S. often lacks connected multigenerational living; new housing policies in Boston may encourage such bonds.

8. Invitation to Volunteer and Build Bridges (28:39–29:36)

• Kyle’s invitation:
  • Start small, know the commitment is manageable, and be open to unexpected rewards.
    • “I challenge folks to know that the outcome will be very different than what they expect going in.” — Kyle Rubedo [29:16]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We don’t build friendships, they grow.” — Frances Leese [03:51]
• “The older I get, the more effectively curious I become.” — Peter [07:14]
• “Heaven help my neighbor if I treated them the way I treat myself. So I’m gradually learning...when I treat myself and love myself in a healthy way, that then becomes a model for the way I can befriend and love other people.” — Peter [10:18]
• “This really is a kind of wealth that goes into our souls.” — Peter [14:10]
• “Friendship Works is more than a program...just truly growing a relationship as a part of everyday life.” — Pooja [12:51]
• “What starts a little bit as a relational experience...bleeds into a straight up friendship...” — Kyle Rubedo [21:52]
• “I challenge folks to know that the outcome will be very different than what they expect going in.” — Kyle Rubedo [29:16]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:04–01:24: Frances Leese on elder wisdom and intergenerational bonds
• 02:36–06:26: Pooja and Peter’s friendship origin and evolution
• 07:14–10:18: Deepening the friendship through curiosity, empathy, and personal challenges
• 12:10–14:46: The emotional wealth and “afterglow” of these friendships
• 15:56–20:01: Kyle Rubedo on loneliness, organizational mission, and why connection declines with age
• 20:10–22:18: Overview of Friendship Works programs and models
• 22:27–25:01: Tangible and intangible benefits for participants
• 25:11–26:06: Mental health and emotional impact
• 26:13–29:36: Overcoming ageism, cultural perspectives, policy, and invitation to get involved

Closing Encouragement

Frances Leese reminds listeners that action is simple:
“Call that older relative you’ve been meaning to check in on. Look up volunteer opportunities in your neighborhood. Start a conversation with someone from a different generation...” [30:32]

The episode ends by celebrating the quiet heroism of taking the first step towards genuine, cross-generational connection.

Resources

For more on mental health care and intergenerational programs, visit globe.com/turningpoints (as mentioned at the episode close).

Produced by Tufts Health Plan and Boston Globe Media in partnership with POD People.