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A cancer diagnosis is not just a physical battle. It's an emotional rollercoaster. Anxiety, depression and distress are common companions on this journey, affecting up to 35% of patients at some point during their treatment. These psychiatric challenges can appear at any phase, from diagnosis to treatment to remission. Yet amid this turmoil, there are moments of clarity and resilience, turning points where patients find their way towards a more balanced mental health. But most importantly, they find hope for me. There were moments when I was knee deep in depression and anxiety, spinning in the darkness. There were moments where I thought I had reached a dead end, unable to.
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Get out of bed.
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And the constant anxiety that formed itself around my chest was debilitating. But what. What I realized about the overall human spirit and the embodied resilience that is within us all was that I didn't want this to be the end of my story. That I had more within me to get to the other side of that darkness. And some way, somehow, I held on long enough to be here with all of you. I'm Frances Leese, and this is Turning Points, a show about navigating mental health, sponsored by Point 32 Health. Today we're tackling a topic that affects millions but is often shrouded in silence. How a cancer diagnosis impacts mental health and how we navigate this deeply personal and often challenging terrain. Whether you're a patient, a caregiver, or someone who wants to understand more about the intersection of cancer and mental health, you won't want to miss this episode. Today I'm joined by Dr. Beverly A. Zavaletta. She's not only a Harvard alum and a board certified family physician, but also a cancer survivor. Diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in 2015, Dr. Zavaletta turned her battle into a mission to help others. She authored Braving Chemo, a guide that has become an invaluable resource for patients undergoing chemotherapy. Dr. Zavaletta's dual perspective as a physician and a patient gives her a unique insight into the emotional landscape of cancer. She understands the fear, the uncertainty, and the emotional toll it takes. But she also knows the strength, the resilience, and the power of support that can transform despair into hope. Today, Dr. Zavaletta will share her journey. What helped her, what hurt, and how she found her turning point. She'll also offer advice for patients and their loved ones and reassure anyone going through this ordeal that they're not alone. Together, we'll explore the critical role of mental health in the cancer journey and highlight the importance of compassionate care. Here's my conversation with Dr. Zavaletta Dr.
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Zavaleta, can you take us back to the moment you received your cancer diagnosis in 2015? How did it feel emotionally? And what were some of the initial thoughts that ran through your mind?
C
This is a great question. And I spent a lot of time thinking about it and reliving it. I was at an end of school party for my 9 year old at a friend's house and I received a phone call from my family doctor. I took the phone call and I actually knew in that moment that it wasn't going to be good news. Just kind of from the circumstances. So I answered the phone and walked through the house to get away from the party. And he was pretty to the point and gave me the medical terms. Cause it was doctor to doctor. You have intraductal invasive carcinoma, which is a type of breast cancer. And I was stunned. My body was frozen, like a chill coming over me. I was standing in, actually I'd gone through the house, out the front door, and I was standing in the front driveway of my friend's house. She must have seen me take the call because she appeared like a minute or two later after I was off the call. And she just looked at me and said, what happened? Or what's going on? Something like that. And I just looked at her and I said, I have breast cancer. I just kind of barfed it out. And she took a second and she just said, I'm here. And she scooped me up in her arms, she hugged me, pulled me into her. And so I let her do that because I was paralyzed. So, yeah, the first experience of it was just completely shocked, stunned, paralyzed. I think my friend's reaction was, for me at the time, actually the perfect reaction. I think for the two of us. It was very natural. I mean, obviously not planned.
B
You know, I can't imagine what that kind of news does to somebody, anyone. And I can only imagine like the loss of control and the loss of understanding and trying to fathom such a news like that. How did your perspective on life and your priorities shifted as you navigated your cancer journey?
C
So there are sort of different phases of the experience. So initially feeling stunned, although the stunned and kind of shock feeling did continue for quite a while. But pretty quickly I flipped into action mode, I guess a mode that I would describe as fear, anxiety, but also hyperactivity in terms of you're running, you're running towards the goal of trying to figure out what you need to do with your care team and my family. And so the shift in perspective for me Was really just nothing else matters. All the priorities that we normally have of work or family engagements, it just goes on the back burner. So I still worked for a few more weeks, but I called my medical director and worked out a few schedule things. But it really is secondary priority that the first priority is just getting the treatment plan in place. But honestly, because of the fear component, it's like running away, Honestly, running away from death. It's like you are now in this race that is life or death. There's nothing like that to just basically make nothing else a priority.
B
Yeah, but it was such an acceleration of decisions of how do I cope with all of these feelings that are happening? And so what would you say were some of the biggest challenges you faced during your treatment?
C
So you mentioned feelings. So interestingly, I don't know that there were a lot of feelings happening other than that sense of urgency and fear right away. Because there's not a lot of time to process anything initially, at least for me. And everybody's treatment unfolds a little bit differently. Mine was very fast. It was two weeks from diagnosis to getting my first chemo treatment. And because of the type of breast cancer that I had, I had chemotherapy first and surgery after, which is pretty typical for triple negative breast cancer and other types of cancer as well. So it did feel very accelerated, like a whirlwind. There wasn't a lot of processing of emotion other than just the urgency of it. For me, one of my biggest fears was that I would die and my children would be left without a mother. They were 9 and 10 at the time. So that felt like the biggest fear, more than me actually dying. Somehow I saw it through the lens of my kids, like how horrible it would be for them if I died. It was weirdly, not like that I cared if I died. Cause I would be dead. I was almost a little bit macabre in the sense of, like, well, I'd be dead. Who cares? But what about the kids? And as my treatment progressed, then things slow down. There's a routine to it, which I think is pretty common. So once the schedule for the chemotherapy was in place, and that went on for several months, and then my surgery was planned afterwards. Once the routine was in place, then lots of other feelings came into play, Lots of other challenges, more nuanced fears, like, well, if the treatment works, I'll live, but what will my life be like? What side effects will I have? Will I be disabled? Will I ever be able to work again? Because I was completely disabled during my treatment, I Didn't work for a year, which isn't necessarily the case. A lot of people are able to work through their treatment. It depends what their side effects are. It depends what type of work they do. But I was pretty isolated. I was very immunosuppressed and anemic, and I couldn't work. And so I was stuck bouncing around my house in my own thoughts.
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Yeah. So how did you cope with some.
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Of the isolation and when those feelings really started?
A
Because I could see, like, once you.
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Get into the routine and once the treatment is in place, you're like, okay, well, we have a rhythm going. And now that. That everything is quote, unquote settled, everything must have rushed to the surface. So looking back, what were some of your coping strategies to sort of deal with the sadness and the isolation?
C
One of the things that I realized early on, even before the treatment plan was initiated, was that I was going to need to ask for help from my friends, my family. And historically, I have not been great at that. I, as a physician and the oldest daughter and Gen X, all those things make me high on the list for not really asking for help for myself very well. But something in me really said, hey, you gotta do it. And so I made a really big effort to tell my circle of friends and my family pretty quickly and to try to really think of things and ask for help. And so that was the first thing. And then from an internal perspective, I also was struggling with the idea of how people approach cancer specifically, although I do think it can be applied to other serious illnesses. And that is that in cancer, the battle metaphor is very common, is kind of the dominant metaphor and narrative that you'll see. So and so battled cancer. So and so is fighting cancer. And I really didn't like that. I really felt that it was too violent of a metaphor. I remember sitting on my friend's couch before I had started chemo, and I told her, who am I battling? Am I battling myself? Because this cancer is actually part of me. This cancer came from me. I understand that it's an illness. It is an aberration. It's a group of cells that went rogue. But I don't want to battle myself. I want to heal. And so in that discussion with her, I really had a change of mindset and said, I want to shift to a healing mindset, not a warrior or battle mindset. So that was one thing for me that I was really trying to develop and find an internal place where I could think of healing and not being at war with myself, but thinking of it as a healing and maybe a purging at times. Okay. Which I understand is like, eh, a little closer to the warrior mentality. But for me, that felt more comfortable. Now, I'm not gonna say that the warrior mentality is never useful because I would drive to my chemo sessions, and again, I lived fairly far from where I was getting treatment. So I had a group of wonderful drivers who would take turns to drive me because I really couldn't drive myself. And on the way to these chemo sessions, it's like I had to get my battle mentality. Because whether it's chemo or surgery, when you are going to voluntarily submit yourself to these treatments that are painful, unpleasant, you know, you're gonna feel crummy afterwards. You have to psych yourself up. I mean, I used to think about Olympic athletes. I used to think about Lindsey Vaughn and other athletes, you know, psyching themselves up because I have to go sit in that chair and let toxic chemicals go into my body. So again, I'm not gonna say I never use the warrior mindset, but mostly I would try to visualize my body healing itself. I would try to visualize my immune system being in concert with the medication to kill the cancer. I would try to see it as a healing. And so that was the biggest shift for me to handle all this through the active treatment. This is a huge part of my book. One of the ways I thought of it was befriending my medicine, like, befriending the treatment. Seeing the treatment instead of as an adversary where, ah, I have to do this and this is gonna be so horrible. I'm gonna feel nauseous and tired and it's gonna hurt. Trying to really see it as this is hard, but I'm cooperating with it, and for the most part, it worked.
B
I love the approach that you took because you were trying to balance the.
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Strength with the vulnerability. Right?
B
So it's like the idea of, like, okay, yes, I have to step up. And I also have to understand that I love my body and I love how strong it can be. And I do believe in when you connect to those kinds of frequencies, it creates a frequency that allows healing to take place.
A
If you're coming in with a lot.
B
Of tension and anger for what is happening, it doesn't create the breeding ground for healing sometimes. Right. Everybody's different. It's not scientifically proven, but, you know, there's something to be said about using love and loving language to yourself and your body as you go through something difficult.
C
I agree I think it, it felt a little bit like surrender to the process, surrender to, this is where I am right now. This is what is happening. And I'm going to trust that my body knows what to do and trust and acceptance of reality as it is right now and of the path. But for those of us who are fortunate enough to gain remission, now what? Yeah, now we actually have to live the rest of our lives.
B
And it could be this fear about reoccurrence.
A
Right.
B
And it's like, how do you enjoy the life, the second chance, without constantly thinking, oh, will it come back? So how do you feel mentally, emotionally, and how has that experience been for you?
C
So some of it depends on exactly what type of cancer a person has. And so for me, the, the risk of recurrence was highest in the first several years and then does decrease. And that's not the case for everybody's cancer, but for me, that's how biologically how my cancer works. So in the first few years, having follow up and having the testing that I did, there's definitely a run up of anxiety before I have a follow up visit or a test. And then when the test comes clear, there's this euphoria of feeling like I've been given a lottery ticket for the next three or six months, feeling like I am guaranteed to be cancer free for at least six months. And then it wears off as I approach the next follow up visit. And it is a rollercoaster. I mean, it's really difficult. But the effect of that for me was to try to jam in a lot of the bucket list items. And, and I think that's a common response. I made sure I traveled to some of the places I wanted to take my kids to so that I would take them to those places. But bumping up to the top of the list, things that are important because I have this ticket, I know it's good for six months and six months from now, I don't know if I'm going to get another ticket. And so I think it's important to let yourself do that.
A
So I just wanted to shift just a little bit.
B
So many listeners might be facing a similar diagnosis. What advice would you give to cancer patients currently struggling with their mental health? I know that you went through your own process and it will look differently for everyone, but if you could just say one thing to them, what would it be?
C
So, one piece of advice, if you're struggling with your mental health, only one, find a safe person to talk to. And it may be your doctor who can then hook you up, like, connect you with resources to. To help you, whether it's the oncology nurse, whether there's an oncology counselor at the practice to help you. But it may be a friend or a family member, somebody at your church. But in other words, don't go down alone. And what's really hard, I think, about mental health, is that the very thing you need to help you, which is your mind, is the thing that's hurting, is the thing that's struggling. And so if the only thing that you can remember is this, it's to reach out, like, reach your hand out and hold onto someone else.
B
Yeah. I think with any difficult challenge, having a community to wrap their arms around you can also be very healing. I always encourage folks to make sure that they do have a support network, because you can literally be healed by community. So what would you say to those who want to be supportive? Right. How could they better support their loved ones in this process?
C
I think the best thing that a person can do is be present and continue to be present. So, again, my friend Michelle, the best thing she did was she just said, I am here. I am here. And she hugged me, and that was it. We then had more conversations as time went on. But just that statement of presence, saying I'm here, is the same thing as saying, I'm not scared of whatever's coming. I'm just gonna sit here with you. I'm gonna be here with you. So you don't have to make it more complicated than that. So continue to be present. Be aware. You know, a year later, you can still show up and go, I'm here. I'm here. What's happening? Exactly like you did when they were first diagnosed. And then, listen, I always say the.
B
Best question is just to ask, how can I support you? Like, what's most helpful to you in this moment? And keep it at that.
C
Right? So that is really helpful. Of course, I have a caveat. When somebody is faced with a very serious challenge, in this case a health challenge, possibly death, your brain, executive function is out the window. So when someone says, what can I do to help you? You go, my brain is offline. I'm running from death. I don't know. I don't know. And then it feels like, hi, sick person. I'm asking you to now delegate to me what you think I should do for you. So the answer is yes, ask them so that you make sure you don't accidentally just make assumptions and do something that's not helpful to them. And Go to some cancer websites or get some cancer books, or ask their family, ask their friends and say, hey, what do you think I can do to help them? Because they're too shell shocked, stunned, tired, exhausted, barfing, whatever they're doing, they're not gonna be able to delegate stuff to you. There's tons of resources out there that will just give you a list which is, you know, drop off food or get a food gift card or do their laundry for them or take their dog for a walk or take their kids to a movie or in my case, my friends organized a driving schedule to make sure I could get to treatment. There's a ton of things, very practical things that can be done, but the person who is sick is not capable of being the CEO of that situation.
B
Yeah, fair enough.
C
That's the difficulty of the both.
B
And for that one, yeah, no, it's good to hear.
A
Right.
B
Because you just want to make sure that you just remain connected to the person.
C
Yeah.
B
So I want to shift a little bit. Since you're Dr. Sevaletta, so you do have a medical background, how has your experience as a cancer survivor shaped your personal to patient care? As a physician, I was.
C
Quite stunned, humbled, surprised at how much it did my experience as a patient with such a serious disease and treatment course, I gained so much more insight into what living with serious illness is and what that really meant on a day to day level. And I still live with serious side effects to this day. So I am now a person with a chronic disease. I'm now a person with chronic pain and some invisible disabilities. And I realized that this was going to change my interface with the patients in a profound way. And I really hadn't appreciated also the amount of effort that goes into living with chronic illness and chronic pain. And I will say that I had considered myself a quite empathic person and an empathic doctor. I had spent time listening to patients. I felt like I historically, in the previous 10 years or 15 years of my career, felt like I had good rapport with my patients, like I could listen to them and I was being empathic and help, you know, doing patient centered care and all of that. But what I realized is, you know, if there are 10 levels of that, I was maybe on level four or five only. And so I'm just oriented to do that now. In a much more profound level, I gained a greater appreciation for assessing where people are and what do they want to engage with and what do they want to work on. And what's amazing is when people really do want to engage, because then there's two of us who really can put, you know, full steam ahead onto something and try to make a huge difference.
A
Yeah.
B
Because now you could speak to it now, and it, you know, maybe now they can feel the sincerity. They can feel the connection. And that also helps people get better in different ways. Right. And you've had this sort of expansion mentally and emotionally that has created space for these conversations to be had.
C
You're 100% right on that. I think people definitely can feel the sincerity, and they can feel when their doctor or any caregiver is creating space, and that actually is the first step of healing anything.
B
So I do want to get to some resources, because I know you mentioned a resource earlier, and, you know, our goal is to make sure that our listeners do have various resources to sort of help them along the mental health journey. Are there specific resources or programs that you suggest for mental health support or anyone who's on this journey?
C
So let me start with mindfulness. There's a platform which has been around for decades called Sounds True. And this was before podcasting was even a thing. This was before audiobooks were even almost a thing. It was back when books on tape was the thing. So Sounds True has tons of resources of all types, but that's a place to start for mindfulness. As far as finding actual counseling, psychotherapy is very, very important. Not everybody needs it, but I think during the cancer survivorship journey, especially after active treatment is done, it can be really helpful. And one of the types of counseling that has been shown to be very helpful for people with severe illnesses is called acceptance and commitment therapy. Acceptance and commitment therapy is very good for folks who are faced with a situation that is crappy and it cannot be changed, and which is kind of the situation with cancer, because very often I think therapy is kind of like, oh, here's this situation, and how can we change it? Well, and the problem is, it's like, I have freaking cancer. Like, no amount of talking is gonna make that different. Right. And that anger is really, I think, is completely justified. Yeah, you're not gonna talk your way out of this one. But acceptance and commitment therapy works with it in a different way. Like, no, you're not gonna change reality, but you change your relationship with yourself and with that reality. So I would encourage people to look for a counselor trained in that. And Psychology Today, the website, is kind of the biggest central clearinghouse of therapists. And so almost every therapist will post their profile on there and is a good place to start if you're going to look for a therapist. That and your cancer center. Big cancer centers tend to have in house therapists that are available to patients. I live in an under resourced area. We don't have any oncology therapists anywhere for hundreds of miles around. And most of the country lives in a place like that. So that's why doing online therapy is gonna be the way to go. But if you do live in a city and you do have a big cancer center, you may be able to have an actual oncology focused counselor or therapist that is part of your cancer center and that may be the easiest entryway into getting some dedicated counseling.
B
Beautiful. I think that's a robust amount of resources. That's beautiful. So, last question. What message of hope and strength would you like to leave with our listeners today?
C
I would like to tell everyone that you are not alone and that you can find that place within you of love and of healing, whatever that is going to mean for you. Because it will mean something different for everyone and that it's there, it is within you and you can find it.
B
Thank you so much, Dr. Sibaletta, and I'm sure people could find more of your story in your book Breathing Chemo.
C
Thank you for having me. It was wonderful.
A
Cancer is more than a physical battle. It's a profound emotional journey. If today's episode resonated with you, I hope the insights and experiences shared provide comfort and guidance. Here's what I learned from our conversation with Dr. Beverly A. Zavaletta. First, the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis is immense. But acknowledging and addressing it is the first step towards healing. Mental health support is crucial throughout the cancer journey. Second, having a dual perspective as a physician and a patient. Doctors of Aletta highlight the importance of compassionate care and patient education. Understanding both sides can foster more empathetic and effective treatment plans. Third, resilience and support systems are vital. Whether through family, friends or professional counselors, having a network to lean on can make all the difference. And finally, patients are not alone. Sharing stories and experiences can create a community of understanding and solidarity, reminding us all that even in the darkest times, there's hope. As always, thanks for listening and visit globe.com turningpoints One word for more information on mental health care and retail resources. Turning Point Season 4 is produced by Point 32 Health, the parent company of Harvard Pilgrim Healthcare and Tufts Health Plan and the Studio B team at Boston Globe Media. In partnership with Pod People, Point 32 Health, Harvard Pilgrim Healthcare and Tufts Health Plan are committed to connecting the community to personalized solutions that empower health, healthier lives.
Host: Frances Leese, Tufts Health Plan / Boston Globe Media
Guest: Dr. Beverly A. Zavaletta, Family Physician & Cancer Survivor
Date: September 25, 2024
This episode explores the profound and often overlooked mental health impacts of a cancer diagnosis. Host Frances Leese is joined by Dr. Beverly A. Zavaletta—Harvard alum, family physician, and cancer survivor—for an honest conversation about coping with the psychological fallout of cancer, the importance of support systems, and strategies for healing the mind and spirit alongside the body. The episode provides insights for patients, caregivers, and anyone seeking to understand the intricate intersection of cancer and mental health.
Initial Reaction: Dr. Zavaletta recounts her vivid memory of receiving her cancer diagnosis at an end-of-school party, feeling instantly “stunned, paralyzed, like a chill coming over me.” ([03:21])
Quote: “I just kind of barfed it out. And she took a second and she just said, ‘I’m here.’ And she scooped me up in her arms, she hugged me, pulled me into her.” — Dr. Zavaletta ([04:02])
Host Reflection: The host emphasizes the sense of control lost and how overwhelming such news can be for anyone. ([05:19])
Shift in Focus: Dr. Zavaletta describes how quickly priorities shift from everyday concerns to survival.
“All the priorities that we normally have of work or family engagements, it just goes on the back burner... It’s like you are now in this race that is life or death.” ([05:40])
Decision Overload: The pace of treatment decisions leaves little time for emotional processing initially. ([07:12])
Core Fears: Her greatest fear was leaving her children motherless, a fear that overshadowed even fear for her own life. ([08:15])
Isolation in Treatment: Immune suppression forced her into isolation, making her keenly aware of the psychological toll. ([09:05])
Learning to Ask for Help: Dr. Zavaletta admits, “I have not been great at that... but something in me really said, ‘Hey, you gotta do it.’”
“I made a really big effort to tell my circle of friends and my family pretty quickly and to really think of things and ask for help.” ([09:52])
Rethinking the ‘Battle’ Metaphor:
“In cancer, the battle metaphor is very common... I really didn’t like that. It was too violent.” ([10:28]) “I want to shift to a healing mindset, not a warrior or battle mindset.” ([11:22])
Embracing Healing: While she occasionally used the battle mentality to psych herself up for chemo, Dr. Zavaletta strove to “visualize my body healing itself.”
“I would try to visualize my immune system being in concert with the medication to kill the cancer... befriending my medicine.” ([12:47])
Host Reflection: The importance of “balancing strength with vulnerability,” emphasizing self-love and positive self-talk as critical for healing. ([14:00])
Surrender and Acceptance: Dr. Zavaletta describes finding power in surrender:
“It felt a little bit like surrender to the process, surrender to... trust and acceptance of reality as it is right now.” ([14:47])
“The effect of that for me was to try to jam in a lot of the bucket list items.” ([16:28])
For Patients:
“Find a safe person to talk to... don’t go down alone. The very thing you need to help you, which is your mind, is the thing that’s struggling... reach your hand out and hold onto someone else.” ([17:27])
For Supporters:
Deepened Empathy: Her own illness profoundly impacted her relationships with patients.
“If there are 10 levels of that [empathy], I was maybe on level four or five only... I gained a greater appreciation for assessing where people are and what do they want to engage with and what do they want to work on.” ([21:33])
Creating Space: The sincerity and mental openness she now brings as a doctor help foster trust and healing. ([23:47])
The conversation is candid, nurturing, and non-sensational—balancing realism with hope. Both host and guest stress the importance of compassion, community, and accepting help. The show concludes with a unifying message:
"You are not alone and you can find that place within you of love and of healing, whatever that is going to mean for you... it’s there, it is within you and you can find it.” — Dr. Beverly A. Zavaletta ([27:00])
For further resources, visit globe.com/turningpoints.