261: Phony People Ft. Ron Funches

Summary

Two Hot Takes – Episode 261: "Phony People" Ft. Ron Funches

Air Date: March 26, 2026
Host: Morgan Absher
Guest: Ron Funches
Theme: Juicy Reddit drama, relationships, family dynamics, neurodivergence, and authenticity

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Morgan welcomes comedian, actor, and “Traders” alum Ron Funches to share his infectious positivity (and his love of blankets) while dishing out hot takes on stories pulled from Reddit’s wildest relationship and confession threads. Together, they analyze phony social behavior, discuss complicated family and partner dynamics, and probe what it means to "do the right thing" in morally grey zones. The episode also explores the impact of neurodivergence on communication, how internet fame alters privacy decisions, and the value of honesty—with plenty of wit and relatability throughout.

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Key Segments & Takeaways

1. Getting Cozy with Ron Funches

• [01:06–05:02] Morgan and Ron bond over their shared Pisces birthdays and neurodivergent journeys.
  • Ron: "Ron’s a dad mostly... I’ve done a lot of fun things that people recognize.... You probably have seen me, you just didn’t realize that you saw me." [03:09]
  • Both reveal late autism diagnoses and discuss how this influences communication and perceived social awkwardness.
  • Morgan: "A lot of people diagnosed me with all sorts of things in the comments... but it’s just so interesting thinking, like, you’re being perceived one way." [05:09]

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2. Story 1: Pretending to Like a Friend’s Husband

[06:31–14:35]

• From r/TrueOffMyChest: Woman "fakes" liking her best friend's husband for years, feeling exhausted by the act.
  • Ron: "You've been staying silent this long, you can't switch up now—they're locked in, you locked in. You picked your role." [09:48]
  • Both highlight that not vibing with a friend’s partner is common and doesn’t make someone a bad friend.
  • Ron: "If I was her, I don’t want you liking my man. I don’t want y’all all buddy buddy... then I’m gonna start side-eyeing." [12:46]
  • Morgan: "We can be okay with that. Find who you like and just stick with your people." [13:13]
  • Key insight: Sometimes phony civility (birthday texts, polite laughs) is the boundary that protects friendships.

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3. Story 2: Am I the Asshole for Not Buying In-Laws Souvenirs?

[14:37–22:47]

• From r/AmItheAsshole: OP is excluded from receiving gifts by in-laws, considers reciprocating the coldness during her trip to China.
  • Ron: "The only asshole part is wanting to rub their face in it... The rest of it is—they’re the assholes." [16:26]
  • Both recall the universal pain of exclusion and awkwardness when gifts are dispensed unevenly.
  • Morgan: "Gift giving is... I love letting people know I care about them and feel seen by what I get them." [18:06]
  • Ron: "They already declared war on you... don’t succumb." [18:22]
  • Reddit agrees: not the asshole, husband is problematic for minimizing OP’s feelings.

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4. Story 3: Husband’s Jokes Create Family Division

[23:07–35:22]

• From r/relationships: Husband’s mocking “Southern” jokes cause their young son to parrot disrespect toward OP’s Southern family.
  • Ron: "Marriage... is built on love, trust and respect. If he doesn't respect your family... by definition your relationship is designed to fail." [28:02]
  • Morgan: "He's kind of thinking the same things about you... he's indoctrinating [their son]." [29:30]
  • Both agree mockery masquerading as "jokes" is abusive, especially when kids internalize disrespect.
  • Ron (re divorce): "Probably just gotta end it at some point and protect your kids so... you don't ruin the relationship they could have with their grandparents." [28:10]
  • Reddit consensus: emotional alienation is a form of abuse.

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5. Story 4: Kids and Social Media Privacy

[35:39–48:17]

• From r/AmItheAsshole: OP photoshops sister-in-law’s kids out of family photos rather than use stickers, causing family drama.
  • Ron: "People like that want to have their cake and eat it too... but you don’t get to tell other people what to do with their pictures." [40:35]
  • Both discuss how kids’ images on social media present complicated boundaries, especially given Ron’s status.
  • Ron: "If my sons decide later they want to, that’s their decision. When people know something you love, they can use it against you." [37:05]
  • Reddit and hosts agree: Respecting a parent's stated boundaries while maintaining your own is valid.

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6. Story 5: Both Sisters Pregnant with OP’s Child

[49:03–58:38]

• From r/relationship_advice (and update): Guy sleeps with both his girlfriend and her sister—both allegedly pregnant.
  • Ron’s advice: "Only thing I could give you... start a reality show!" [50:50]
  • Both incredulous. It turns out to be a prank: the sisters know, neither is pregnant; OP gets dumped.
  • Morgan: "I'd be an only child..." [56:24]
  • Ron: "He kind of won... he slept with both of the sisters, got out of the relationship, no child support." [58:12]

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7. Rapid Fire/Short Takes

Untrained Dog at Housewarming (w/Lauren)

[61:01–66:51]

• OP bans friend’s untrained dog from new white-carpeted home; friends threaten to end relationship.
  • Lauren: "Even if I had a child…if they peed in every single corner...I would understand if [someone] needed space." [61:59]
  • Consensus: OP is not the asshole; friends are unreasonable for prioritizing their dog over others’ property and comfort.

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Secret Family Recipes & Takeout Confession

[67:20–72:18]

• OP struggles with in-law drama because his “famous” lasagna is actually from an Italian deli, not a family recipe.
  • Ron’s solution: "Let her in... build trust and confidence. Have her come with you to the restaurant and eat the lasagna." [70:34]
  • Morgan considers just faking a recipe, but agrees Ron’s way is more honest (and fun).
  • Ron: "When this guy keeps secrets, it’s just lasagna." [72:16]

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"Traders" Behind the Scenes / Autism Reflection

[76:48–79:25]

• Ron talks about isolation he experienced on “Traders” and how it led to self-discovery and being diagnosed with autism, allowing him to better relate to his son.
  • Ron: "Even when you’re under stress...this is how you act as a man. This is how you treat people." [81:50]
  • Morgan: "It was just kind of nice because...now with my son...I get it now." [79:26]

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8. Story 6: Wedding Disposable Camera Cheating Scandal

[82:19–94:23]

• OP discovers disposable camera photo from sister’s wedding that appears to show the groom kissing another woman.
  • Ron: "Another TikTok trend fucking everybody’s life up." [85:31]
  • Both debate: Tell her now (ruin honeymoon)? Wait until she’s home? Reveal at slideshow?
  • Ron: "Put the photos with the slideshow—you don’t know the context." [86:19]
  • Morgan: "Let her have one nice week in Aruba." [86:09]
  • Consensus: Wait until she’s back; don’t play detective any further. Present the evidence and allow sister to decide.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [09:48] Ron: "You've been staying silent this long, you can't switch up now—they're locked in. You locked in. You picked your role."
• [16:26] Ron: "The only asshole part is wanting to rub their face in it... The rest of it is—they're the assholes."
• [28:02] Ron: "If he doesn't respect your family and doesn't in return respect your wishes...your relationship is designed to fail."
• [37:05] Ron: "When people know something you love, they can use it against you."
• [50:50] Ron: "Only thing I could give you...start a reality show!"
• [70:34] Ron: "Let her in...build trust and confidence with her."
• [86:19] Ron: "Put the photos with the slideshow..."
• [81:50] Ron: "Even when you're under stress and duress...this is how you act as a man."
• [58:12] Ron: "He kind of won...he slept with both of the sisters, got out of the relationship, no child support."
• [72:16] Ron: "When this guy keeps secrets, it's just lasagna."

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:06] Intro, astrological banter, Ron’s background
• [06:31] Story 1: Pretending about a friend's spouse
• [14:37] Story 2: Souvenir snub & emotional labor
• [23:07] Story 3: Jokes as family sabotage
• [35:39] Story 4: Photoshopping kids out of pictures
• [49:03] Story 5: Girlfriend and her sister both pregnant (update at [54:25])
• [61:01] Untrained dog versus white carpet w/Lauren
• [67:20] Secret family recipe / lasagna confession
• [76:48] Reflections on "Traders," autism, empathy
• [82:19] Story 6: Wedding photo mystery
• [94:41] Ron plugs tour, socials; Morgan wraps up

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Tone & Style Highlights

• Casual, witty, conversational; plenty of playful banter.
• Warmth and realness; guests and host share personal stories.
• Humor and relatability even when dissecting heavy social dilemmas.
• Respectful but honest hot takes, blending empathy with sharp insight.

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Final Thoughts

This episode balances the hilarious absurdities and real emotional complexities of modern interpersonal drama. Through both light-hearted and serious stories, Morgan and Ron encourage authenticity, healthy boundaries, and mutual respect—while also recognizing life is a little easier when you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Transcript

[Morgan]

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[Ron Funches]

It actually did. Aw. I know. Rare.

[Morgan]

You're not a Pisces, are you?

[Ron Funches]

I am.

[Morgan]

When's your birthday?

[Ron Funches]

March 12.

[Morgan]

Mine's March 4.

[Ron Funches]

Okay. Happy Pisces.

[Morgan]

How did you have a good retrograde? I don't know, because Mercury and Pisces are like, it's the worst. It's butting heads.

[Ron Funches]

But now it makes sense. I mean, I'm not saying there weren't frustrations. There've been frustrations.

[Morgan]

Just a few.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, always.

[Morgan]

Oh, that's life.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Life is chaos.

[Ron Funches]

Truly.

[Morgan]

I'm so excited to have you today.

[Ron Funches]

I like how you have blankets.

[Morgan]

Get cozy.

[Ron Funches]

I will.

[Morgan]

Make yourself at home. Kick your feet up. Or don't. Whatever you want to do.

[Ron Funches]

Okay.

[Morgan]

We aim to please here at Too Hot Takes.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, I love that.

[Morgan]

I am so excited to have you today. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes, you guys. I'm your host, Morgan, and I've got Ron Funches here cuddling up.

[Ron Funches]

Thank you for having me.

[Morgan]

I'm pumped. So I was a little unfamiliar with your game.

[Ron Funches]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And then I went and saw little Miss Amy Poehler live here in la. And who was her opening guest?

[Ron Funches]

You. That sounds right.

[Morgan]

And I was like, I love his vibe.

[Ron Funches]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

You just have such an aura of, like, happy, calm, nice, fun. And it's been really, really crazy watching your journey lately. You went on Traders, had a hell of a time. And then I got really into your standup and you have like, you drop these little nuggets of information on your standup. And now I'm like, really scared of koalas because they. I like, didn't know basically all of them have chlamydia.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Especially in captivity.

[Morgan]

Why aren't they giving them, like, can't they give them a Z pack or something?

[Ron Funches]

I don't know why that's up. It's like most old folk songs, literally.

[Morgan]

Because they don't use condoms. I talk about this all the time.

[Ron Funches]

Or should they?

[Morgan]

No risk of pregnancy? What, menopause? No. Just crazy. But for my listeners who are also unfamiliar with your game. Who's Ron? Who's Ron? What's up?

[Ron Funches]

Ron's a dad mostly. He's a dad of two boys. One who's 23 and one who's about to be four. My oldest is on the autism spectrum. Found out recently. So am I. I've been a stand up comedian for about 20 years in October. I do a lot of acting and voice acting. I would say you can probably sum up my career in the fact that you probably have seen me. You just didn't realize that you saw me. I've done a lot of fun things that people recognize and had a great and successful career over the past 15, 20 years. But constantly I have people telling me, oh, I've never heard of you before. It's the first time I've seen you. And I think that's very beautiful because to me it means that I still have much more to go. But you might have seen me on a new girl dancing as a naked homeless man. The father figure. You might have. See, she didn't even know that she.

[Lauren]

What?

[Ron Funches]

That's you.

[Morgan]

It is you. That's me. See, I recognized your voice from Trolls.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Oh, my. Okay. Yes, yes.

[Ron Funches]

You might even recognize I'm Cooper from Trolls. If you're a big nerd, you might know me as King Shark from Harley Quinn. Few are. Oh, I'm bluefy and inside out too. And then I've been acting in different shows. I'm on the lute with Maya Rudolph.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's next on my list.

[Ron Funches]

It's a wonderful show. I recommend you check it out. And then a lot of people have heard my jokes in different formats, even if it wasn't from me. I wrote a joke about raising a kid with autism where it was like being with a friend who done too many shrooms. And while you yourself were on a moderate amount of shrooms, that was a big meme that went around for a while to the point now people, whenever I post a joke, people go, you stole that from Fudge Jerry. And I'm like, you think, fuck Jerry had an autistic kid.

[Morgan]

Fuck Jerry stole that from me.

[Ron Funches]

Yes.

[Morgan]

How?

[Ron Funches]

And then just, you know, I just go around trying to have fun, do fun stuff. Basically.

[Morgan]

I really relate to you because I got an autism diagnosis too, as an adult, and it's just like it was such a journey. And like the podcast, this really inspired me. A lot of people diagnosed me with all sorts of things in the comments, but of course it's, it's just like so interesting thinking, like you're being perceived one way or like I'm communicating. I'm, I'm. I thought I was telling my opinion very clearly. And then it's like, oh, it's not coming across that way.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, that's pretty much was my experience on the Traders to a T and also Mean Girl and. But it was a thing that kind of reminded me of, of my past and pro and mostly why I for the most part work independently and have always been a guy who just works by myself with standup. And then when I do work in groups, it usually is just I prefer it with sweet nerds like Maya Rudolph and Joel and Mikayla J. Rodriguez over at Lute. So other group situations had been like that before.

[Morgan]

I mean, especially. You got thrown into a shark tank.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Just a shark tank.

[Ron Funches]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Luckily you had a little snake wrangler Rob that like, he seems so chill, but just a crazy, crazy experience. And I think that experience and everything in your illustrious career has taught you is gonna help give some takes on these stories today.

[Ron Funches]

Let's do it.

[Morgan]

I'm so excited. Let's dive. This episode is presented by Duluth Trading Company Number one in garden Dig into Spring gardening wearing Duluth Trading's five star garden wear. They're dirt and debris deflecting moisture wicking and have 50 plus sun protection for long days in the rays. And their heirloom gardening overalls are made from super stretchy, durable ripstop nylon and loaded with 12 pockets plus knee pad pockets for extra comfort. Short overalls, overall dress over shirt and pants are all new to the collection too. So Whether you have one garden bed or 100 acres, there's garden wear for every green thumb shop@duluth trading.com or in store today. Okay, this first one I have, it's coming from true off my chest. So it's a subreddit where people can just go and just like shout something crazy into the Void. It's titled. I've been pretending to like my best friend's husband for four years and I'm exhausted. I don't really know why I'm posting this. I just need to say it somewhere because I've been holding it in for so long and it's starting to feel heavy. My best friend of 12 years, let's call her Dana, married this guy in 2021. And from basically the first time I met him, I knew something felt off. Not in a dramatic way. Nothing I could point to and say, this is the problem. He's not abusive. He's not cheating. As far as I know, he doesn't do anything that would make a good story. He's just one of those people who makes every room feel slightly worse. He talks over Dana constantly, not aggressively, just like her sentences don't fully register to him before he starts his own. He's one of those guys who has a loud opinion about everything but gets visibly annoyed if anyone pushes back. He once spent 45 minutes at dinner explaining to me why the city that I grew up in isn't actually that great and seemed genuinely surprised that I wasn't agreeing with him. Dana seems happy, or at least she says she is, and I believe her. She lights up around him in ways that I guess I just have to accept that I don't understand. So I smile at family dinners, I laugh at his jokes, I text him Happy birthday every year. I've been doing it for four years and I'm good at it by now, but it's tiring in a way that I didn't expect. The worst part is I feel guilty even writing this. She's my best friend and she chose him and that should be enough for me. I just need to say it out loud that it's not always enough. And I don't know what to do with that feeling.

[Ron Funches]

It seems like you already cast your die. You've been staying silent for this long, you can't change. Switch up now they're locked in. You locked in. You picked your role. I mean, I picked up on. There's so many things to say in there. A. It sounds like they have a good relationship after together. They've been married for four years. That's long time to me. And they. And she's still happy. She says she lights up. And there's even things that in. In the tone of the letter where he talk about, well, she's not. He's not abusive. Period. Not cheating, in parentheses, as far as, you know, sound like you don't want to give this man no credit whatsoever.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like the. But like, it seems like he's seemingly okay.

[Ron Funches]

He seemed great. Like who? I mean, especially if you've been together that long and now they've been married for four years. Who doesn't talk over someone's sentences where you. When you know where it's going, you. You've already heard this before.

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Ron Funches]

Now they taking it public. She's already ran the lines behind the scenes with him, so he's just like, okay, I'm on board. Here's the next thing.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God, that's such a good point.

[Ron Funches]

And I don't know what your hometown is, so how do we not know it's not shitty?

[Morgan]

I wonder if she comment and where she lives. I'm like, now. Or where she grew up. I'm so curious. But that is a good point that I think people sometimes forget with couples is like, typically, by the time you're hearing this conversation, they've had this. And maybe they've even told this story before in front of other people. And I think for me, and I have a friend who co hosts with me a lot, we're both neurodivergent. So we are constantly cutting each other off. And like, sometimes it's a blessing where it's like, I wish you would have jumped in sooner. So I didn't keep talking. Like, I didn't even know what I was gonna finish that sentence with. So, like, I'm glad you. You cut me off and kind of saved me. And so if that's your normal, like, flow of conversation, you're not. You don't have a problem with it. It's preferred even maybe.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I agree with you. And that was one of the things I saw is like, we don't know this person's background. We don't know if they are neurodivergent. So it could be just the way that they speak in a conversation seems overwhelming to you. The only thing is, if someone's not able to take criticism back and. And they're like joking at you, but you can't joke back. I can understand that being too much, but I don't know if they. We. We. I gotta get more info. Cause I don't know if it's like him saying his opinion and then her going like, I don't agree, and him just be like, ah. But I do. It's my thing. Why wouldn't he. Why would he not keep fighting for his opinion? So.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Ron Funches]

I mean, you Gotta let your girl be happy. It's rough out there. You guys gonna want her out there

[Morgan]

in the Dayton, back in the streets. Y. Ah, yeah. No, I mean, even like the line, she lights up like that when you can recognize that, like, clearly there's something there. And I don't know how you feel about this. I'm curious. Do you feel like we're putting too much pressure on the fact that, like, everyone needs to get along, Everyone needs to be friends?

[Ron Funches]

Be honest with you, if I was her, I don't want you liking my man. You shouldn't like him. He don't like you. I don't want y' all all. Buddy, buddy. I come into a room, y' all giggling together like. Then I got. I'm a start side eyeing a little bit.

[Morgan]

You know what I mean? Look suspicious.

[Ron Funches]

You look a little suspicious to me. So good. I'm glad. The happy birthday once a year and you just tolerate him at parties is the much of a relationship I really want y' all to have.

[Morgan]

Sounds great. Yes, I think so too. I think, like, I think we've kind of come to this unrealistic expectation of, like, you need to get along with everyone and like, all your mutual friends and a friend of a friend, you need to like them and you need to like their partners. It's like, hey, not everyone's my cup of tea. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Like, we. We can be okay with that. Find who you like and just stick with your people. Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

Don't be. I mean, the worst part about it seems like, is that you're being a little bit phony. You know, I bet he probably don't like you that much.

[Morgan]

He doesn't want that happy birthday text every year. The top comment on this one. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it except learn to manage your feelings. You've said it yourself. Your best friend is happy with him, and that's all that matters. I think there's often this unspoken expectation that we should like our friend's partners. But sometimes you just don't click with someone. That's okay. You don't have to force yourself to be close with him. Disliking him doesn't make you a bad friend. You can keep things civil with him for your best friend's sake.

[Ron Funches]

Sounds perfect to me.

[Morgan]

Civil. That doesn't take a lot to be civil.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. I mean, I don't want to say nothing, but it's like, you know, maybe you should be busy with your own thing. I Don't know. I don't want.

[Morgan]

We don't know.

[Ron Funches]

We don't.

[Morgan]

That's all we got. There's no comments from our writer. We don't know what city she grew up in. So maybe we'll get an update eventually.

[Ron Funches]

I want to know.

[Morgan]

Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from Am I the asshole? 15 hours old when I found it. It's titled Am I the asshole for refusing to get the in laws souvenirs. My 42 female partner's 42 male family went on some big trips over the Christmas holidays. His sister went all around Europe with her new fiance and his parents and another sister went on a two week cruise around the Caribbean. Before they left, I hosted them at my house for a lot of dinners and outings. When they returned, we all met up at the sister's house that went to Europe. Their holiday pretty much started and ended around the same time. So we went there for breakfast and they started pulling out gifts for everyone. My partner and I have an 18 year old son. They put some things on the table and say it's for him, then gifts for my partner and then gifts for everyone else. And not one thing for me from anyone. It hurt but whatever. My mother in law then made a comment saying, quote, next time you visit, I'll get you something because she must have noticed that I was empty handed. I just ignored her and we left soon after. Now I'm going to China next week with my dad and I made a joke to my partner how I will be saving money by not getting his family any souvenirs. And he said that I was being petty, I refused to give in and he said I should just get them something because they probably didn't even notice that they had left me out. But honestly, I want to invite them over just to show them the cool souvenirs I got for my family only. Am I the asshole?

[Ron Funches]

A little bit. A small amount just at the end really just at the end. Just in the wanting to invite them over to rub their face in it. That's the only asshole part about it to me. The rest of it is they're they asshole. They sound like real jerks. They invite you over. Nothing feels worse than. It's a universal feeling that we have when we're kids. It's the reason why when you go to a toddler's birthday party they have little gift bags for everyone because no one feels worse than watching someone else open a bunch of gifts and you don't get anything.

[Morgan]

I completely agree like, feeling left out and excluded. It, like, physically pains me. I feel sick and nauseous over it, which sounds so silly, but I just want to go back. You're getting presents at toddler birthday parties.

[Ron Funches]

When you go to a toddler birthday party, I mean, not like presents, but like little gift bags. Got like a little.

[Morgan]

I'm going to the wrong parties.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, man.

[Morgan]

Oh, for, like the kids.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Not for me. I'm not just going to random kids birthday party.

[Morgan]

No. I thought they were giving you gifts.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, no.

[Morgan]

I was like, that's so nice that they get the parents and everyone gifts.

[Ron Funches]

That would be. That would be extravagant. I would like that.

[Morgan]

That's what I want. I want to, like, walk out of, like, a party. Like those gift bags that they give people when they go to the Oscars or something crazy.

[Ron Funches]

I went to one party like that. Really? It was so fun. My friends 50th birthday party, and they turned it into a full carnival where you got tickets and stuff. And then at the end, there were good prizes. I left with the Disney Lego set. It was. And I was like, yeah, I went to someone else's birthday and then I left with gifts. It was great.

[Morgan]

That's literally my dream. And that's like the party I want to throw. Because gift giving is like, I'm all about that. I love letting people know I care about them and feel seen by what I get them.

[Ron Funches]

I agree. Me too.

[Morgan]

Oh, man. Yeah. I don't think, though, back. Back to this one.

[Ron Funches]

No, no. They were the assholes and they know it. And then if you. If you actually buy something, I'm going to say, you a punk. Like you. You don't. Don't succumb. They already declared war on you. You don't. You don't have to then in return be like, oh, he'll give because I'm a coward. No. Look them right back and go like, I got something for the kids. I didn't get nothing for you. I forgot about you like you guys forgot about me. Apparently, we ain't that close.

[Morgan]

Would you say that to them?

[Ron Funches]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Call them out.

[Ron Funches]

Yes.

[Morgan]

See, here's where I might be a little petty. I'd get them postcards like the. I'd get them the cheapest, cheapest thing I could find.

[Ron Funches]

Other option. Yes.

[Morgan]

Because then it's like, hey, I'm actually, I'm. I'm better than you because I got you something good about you. Yeah, but it's. It's cheap. Yeah, but cheap isn't necessarily bad. But, like, for Them like, it's just like you're kind of an afterthought.

[Ron Funches]

I mean, we're going that far, though. I'm gonna go where. I'm gonna give them, like, the. Like the hotel soap from my.

[Morgan]

You're like, elephant gifting.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Some of those soaps are nice.

[Ron Funches]

They are nice.

[Morgan]

I stayed at one of them.

[Ron Funches]

I'm keeping the nice ones.

[Morgan]

I don't even open it. I like. I like. Oh, my gosh. I went somewhere and they had, like, a lay labo soap, and I was like, this is too nice for me. Like, I wouldn't buy it for myself. And I asked for a couple extra every time housekeeping came.

[Ron Funches]

You know what you doing?

[Morgan]

Yeah. You see a cart in the hall.

[Ron Funches]

They charging them destination fees and stuff. You take all the soaps you want.

[Morgan]

I say, I know what's up with that. Amenities fees.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, don't get me started.

[Morgan]

I'm like, a pool is a basic, right?

[Ron Funches]

Just tell me the bill when you. When I. Before I get here, don't then add, like, oh, here's $35 extra night. But guess what? You get all the water you want. What?

[Morgan]

Cool. I'll go to the 711 across the street and buy a jug.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. I get two drink tickets, and I don't drink. Great. Thank you.

[Morgan]

Thanks for the mocktail. Yeah, no, no, I'm not about it.

[Ron Funches]

I hate it so much, and they're going to mess it up and they're going to run themselves out of business. Anything I can do. I'm going podcast to podcast to spread an awareness that these destination fees are ridiculous. They started in Vegas and they should have stayed there, and now they spreading them all throughout the world. Not the world. You're much better. But out through America, charging us more money for less service. And I hate it with a passion. Charge me all you want for great service, but don't charge me more. And then tell me that I gotta call 48 hours in advance if I want my bed turned down.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ron Funches]

I know.

[Morgan]

That's wild. I agree. I did find a good hotel in New York, the Virgin Hotel, and you just hit a little button. It's like a light. Like a light switch. You hit the button when you want them to come to your room and they're in there, like, within an hour.

[Ron Funches]

I love that they're good.

[Morgan]

I love that they got that damn resort fee.

[Ron Funches]

I hate the resort fee.

[Morgan]

I know. But I will say it's better than the weird cleaning fees you get at an Airbnb.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Barely, though.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. He said I should just give them something because they probably didn't even notice that they left me out. Which is exactly the problem. Good lord. Not the asshole. Someone responds, yeah, the husband is so observant. Next comment down. The husband is the problem for allowing it to happen and asking you to get over it.

[Ron Funches]

Ooh, I love this turn. Ooh, why didn't she think of that? I would have uno reversed it right on him. Yeah, don't go back and throw it on him. Be like, wait, who are you defending here? Who you want to hang out with? You want to sleep with your sisters or you trying to sleep with me?

[Morgan]

I mean, we do come across those on Reddit. They're over here. That's true. No, that's a really good point. Whose side are you on? Whose side are you on? Someone comments too, and they say, yeah, how is they forgot about you? Supposed to be better.

[Ron Funches]

It's a whole trip. A long trip. They had many days to remember you exist.

[Morgan]

Oh, so sad. Okay, I want an update on that one. We don't have an update. I would like one. I'm just gonna double check the account just to make sure. Yeah, nothing. Nothing. And as of my refresh, the post is now 12 days old.

[Ron Funches]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I get scared to refresh them sometimes. Cause they disappear. But it's old. Er, Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

I hate when people go back and delete and you don't know. You're like, what happened? Either something good or something dramatic.

[Morgan]

Say it with your chest or don't say it at all.

[Ron Funches]

Exactly. Ugh.

[Morgan]

But we'll keep our eyes peeled. I'll follow the account. Maybe. Maybe they'll get an update. Their username is More Puppies, please. So.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, they sound. How could they be? The asshole.

[Morgan]

Mm. Mm. No chance.

[Ron Funches]

If they were less puppies.

[Morgan]

Less puppies, then maybe there'd be a problem. Okay, moving on to this next one. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. When it comes to your money, Credit Karma keeps you ahead of the game. And you can count on Credit Karma to keep up with your financial needs. As they evolve, they'll help you monitor your progress and give personalized recommendations so you can make strides towards your goals and find your way to money. Make sure you're on the right track no matter where you are on your financial journey. Intuit. Credit Karma. Karma you can count on. This is coming from R Relationships, a subreddit that's just built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal problems. It is titled. My husband, 32, male, frequently jokes about my family. His attitude is rubbing off on our son, five male, and I, 29 female. Want it to stop. We've been married for six years, met in college, got married right after our graduation, and yeah, maybe our relationship was a little rushed. As much as I hate this one particular aspect of my husband, I do still think he is a great guy and a good father. The problem is he doesn't really respect my family. I grew up on a farm and the majority of my family lives in the country. We're from the south and that's where they all still live. My husband and I live up north near his family and where he grew up. I know all the stereotypes about people from the south and I just want to say my family really does not fit them. We're not racist, we're not dumb, we're not inbred hicks. Yes, my mother and father speak with a drawl and dinner table conversations do tend to end up being about farm topics. My husband has over the years developed a tendency to sort of make fun of my family. It's never really mean spirited, but he loves to play up the simple hick stereotype, insinuating members of my family are dumb or talking about back on the farm or what have you. He knows none of it is true. My father has a doctorate, for fuck's sake, and many members of my family are very accomplished in different fields. But I guess in my husband's mind, anyone from the south who lives on a farm must be the exact same. It normally doesn't bother me that much. He's made it clear that he's joking and it's not like he does it all the time. Well, here's our problem. Our son is now 5 and he's becoming quite the little parrot. Back in March, we went to visit my parents for dinner one night. My dad made fried chicken. And I mean very fresh fried chicken, as in killed that afternoon. My son loves fried chicken and I thought he'd be excited to try it. Well, he completely refused and said he wouldn't touch it because it wasn't store bought. I told him he was being rude, but chalked it up to kids being weird about stuff sometimes. Later that night, I sat him down to talk to him about his manners and how grandpa was hurt that he didn't want to eat dinner and my son said he didn't care because only hillbillies kill their own food. That's when I clued in that these weren't exactly his own ideas. My Husband has jokingly said the same thing. I spoke to my husband about it and I told him to cut it out, that our son is too young to tell the difference between jokes and truth. And I don't want him thinking that. Throughout the last few months there have been a lot of instances like that. My son asked me how I got into college. I thought it was a genuine five year old curiosity question and launched into an explanation only to be interrupted with quote, no. How'd you do it if you're dumb? Further probing led me to finding out he thought everyone from the south is too dumb to go to college. I went to a more prestigious university than my husband, but whatever. He's also said multiple times now that he likes his paternal grandparents more because it's clean and normal. My parents house is perfectly clean. Again, more parroting of my husband. I'm tired of it. My family is 100% respectable and I want my kid to love them and treat them the same as the other half. I know he's young and kids do the darndest things, but I don't want this snowballing. I've talked to my husband and he assures me that he'll stop. But he keeps making these little quips and brushes it off as he doesn't understand. He does. His little brain is like a sponge. How do I get this to stop?

[Ron Funches]

Man, I'm glad that I don't know this person.

[Morgan]

They sound horrible.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Cause I wouldn't say the truth if I knew them.

[Morgan]

Oh man.

[Ron Funches]

But truthfully, sounds like you guys are done. Really? From the framing of the I love going through and people really reveal themselves. The fact that she felt the need to put in. Yeah, we rushed it. Tells you that she has more second thoughts about that marriage than that. And this in general, marriage in any good relationship as we all know, is built on love, trust and respect. And you need all three. And if he doesn't respect your family and doesn't in return respect your wishes to not do it, then he doesn't. You don't have one of those three, which means by definition your relationship is designed to fail. So probably just gotta end it at some point and then protect your kids so that you don't ruin the relationship that they could have with their grandparents. Cause it's affecting their ability to have a good relationship with their grandparents who won't be around forever. And then it's affecting his ability to try the most delicious of fried chickens, which is. That's the saddest part of that whole story.

[Morgan]

I know it sounded like it would have been fresh, good, organic.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, it would have been the best fried chicken he could have ever had.

[Morgan]

You know exactly where it came from

[Ron Funches]

and what's in it and it stays to just eat. Store bought nitrate fills fried chicken cause his dad's leading him down a dark path. You gotta save that boy. You gotta save him. What'd you think?

[Morgan]

My first thought was just one word. Divorce. And I know people are like, oh, it's not that serious, but the thing is, it's not just what he thinks about your family. He's kind of thinking the same things about you. If your son came up to you and goes, how'd you get into college? And you say, oh, well, you know, I applied and blah, blah, blah. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. How did you get into college if you're dumb? So you're, you're, your husband's telling your own child that you're dumb or like he's drawing these dots from somewhere, right? And it's like regardless, he's instilling these like really just like bigoted views in him. And it's just like it's not healthy to also start cultivating the five year old's mind to think this way. It's like he's indoctrinating him.

[Ron Funches]

No, yeah, I agree with you 100%. Just no respect for her. And also it's like a denial of reality. If she went to a better college than him and she's doing well and then it's like, that's a woman that you should be showing your son is a good example of what you want to look for in a mate. Like there's just, you know, many people, no matter where you're from, who don't have education and don't do effort and just try to live off of somebody else. You have a great partner who comes from a great background and a strong family. That's something to be celebrated, not mocked.

[Morgan]

You know, I don't understand, I don't understand how like they even got together. Like, how was he, how was he, how was he able to overlook that you were from the south enough to even go on a date with you? How did we get this far? It's just mind blowing that he was willing to settle so far beneath him.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, let's give him one shot. See if you can really be like, hey, don't say this stuff anymore at all around my kid or around me. Yeah, you want to go around your buddies and just vent about your in laws that's one thing, but, like, you can't. I mean, that is child abuse. That's like a version of the poison your kids against their own family and is a form of child abuse.

[Morgan]

I don't think people, like, talk about that enough, especially when parents do it against the other parent. Oh, it's so, so hard to deal with. It's something I had to deal with growing up, and it's just like, that's my mom, like, and, like, watching other people do it. It's like, you can't talk shit if you're the step parent or if you're, you know, so and so. Like, that's still their mom. Like, you have to rein it in no matter how upset you are. Like, if they come to that conclusion on their own someday, that's fine. Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

I mean, I've been divorced twice, and that's one thing. I mean, I have my own personal opinion about them as people, but both of them are the mothers of my children, and I made choices to have kids with them. So, I mean, I saw something in them. And that's one thing I never play around with. Like, I never let my sons hear me say anything negative about their mom because I want them to have respect and love for their mom, just as they should as a kid. And also, I don't want to taint the love in any way. It's actually gone the reverse. Like, the harsh feelings that I had for my partners gets softened by me seeing the love that my kids have for them.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's a really. That'd be really interesting to feel that, where you're just like, their mom loves them. They love their mom. Okay, like, chill out. Like, let your feelings go a little bit more. That would be really.

[Ron Funches]

It. Hard.

[Morgan]

Oh, so hard. So hard. I. I'm like, ooh, you like her. Damn. I know I hold a grudge. I need to get better about that this year. Maybe, maybe. Maybe that's a 20, 27 thing.

[Ron Funches]

You got time.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. Op's husband is not joking. He is training his son to despise his mother and her family. Husband is aware of what he is doing and is possibly getting a thrill of superiority out of it. He is also alienating the child from his mother. Yeah, it's a form of abuse.

[Ron Funches]

That's what they put.

[Morgan]

Yeah, Ron, you clocked it. OP has a husband problem. I am so intrigued because I know a lot of times people are like, oh, if you know there's abuse in the relationship, like, couples therapy is a. No, no. It can actually make it worse. So I just like. With this one, I'm like, how do they even proceed forward in any other way but, like, a separation? Like, if he's kind of acting like this, would couples therapy even help? I'm so curious.

[Ron Funches]

I would think individual therapy. He needs individual therapy, not couples therapy. There's something wrong with what he's doing.

[Morgan]

I feel like she should, too, to kind of like, I don't know, maybe realize her own worth in all of this.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Oh, everybody should be, really. But that feeling of superiority that rings a bell to me of, like, maybe he's unhappy with his own position and. And stuff in his work and. Or other things that make him feel less than. And so this is his way of exhorting or showing dominance and. But it just makes you kind of a coward, really.

[Morgan]

I know. There's another comment here that just says, I wonder what your husband is saying when you aren't around. This is a draw a line in the sand time. He doesn't make any more comments like that, period. Not around your son, not around you. He takes the four. When it comes to teaching his son some respect for your family. This is ultimatum time.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. If anything, that you want to see him take the A. We didn't hear. Where was the dad during the fried chicken incident? Did he not even go?

[Morgan]

I. There wasn't a comment about it. Like, was he sitting there?

[Ron Funches]

Did he sit there and just watch it? Or did he not go because he don't like the family? Because that's his job at that point, to lead by example and pick up a piece of chicken and eat it in front of his son, the showhound.

[Morgan]

I know. Well, honestly, I don't think he's eating the food either. He probably before dinner is there going to the sun and being like, did you know that grandpa just killed that chicken? Did you see a little snowflake outside before dinner? That's who you're eating. Hillbillies only kill their food. Well, like, it's probably happening right there in the moment, right out of earshot from everyone, which is crazier. Like, you're a guest.

[Ron Funches]

Beat this guy up. Let's beat him up. Let's get him.

[Morgan]

It's just goofy. Goofy. Okay, I'm curious on your take on this next one, because we've kind of. We're. We're mentioning kids a lot, and you've got two. I'm curious what you think of this concept, because especially you being in the limelight, you got some status.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, okay.

[Morgan]

How do you feel about sharing kids and just photos of them online?

[Ron Funches]

Oh, just my general belief in that. It's changed over time. I used to be much more open about it and would just use my social media like a regular photo album. So any of my stuff I would post and I just had to learn over time because you get different comments or people you go through and just see someone has saved this picture and it's like why would you need to save this picture?

[Morgan]

That weirds me out.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, exactly. So then you learn I don't believe in putting like the little heart over the face. Everything like that. To me now I just have like a side thing where just me and my friends and family where we share that type of stuff. And then the rest of it I just keep my kids out of the spotlight, out of the public because a they didn't ask to do that. They were just born into whatever. If my sons decide later they want to, that's their decision. And then baby, when people know something that you love, they can use it against you. And I'm just not very good at regulating my emotions when it comes to people saying things about my kid. And if you're online and you say too many things about my son, I'll find the phone number or the place you work and I'll call you.

[Morgan]

That's so fair.

[Ron Funches]

So I can't be doing that.

[Morgan]

No, you're papa bear like you. You want to protect your little ones.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. This one is coming from a I tah and it's titled Am I the asshole for photoshopping my nieces and nephews out of the pictures I posted online. My 27 female sister in law, my husband's sister, who's female, 38, decided about a year ago that she does not want her kids faces posted on social media. She still posts them almost daily in family photos, but always with stickers covering the kids faces. I only post on social media for special events. My friends list is mostly family and a few friends from back home, Middle East. My grandma especially loves logging into Facebook to see pictures of my kids. She often messages me afterward to talk about them and sometimes even shows the photo to her group of friends back home. She has told me this I am okay with a bunch of grannies seeing the pictures. At my son's fifth birthday recently I was taking photos. My sister in law approached me and said she does not want anyone online to see her kids faces. I said I understood. Later she told my husband, 40 male, that she thinks it is weird that we are okay with exposing our kids online and that it is just bad parenting. My husband laughed and said we are not Instagram famous like her since she does have quite a few followers and that no one really cares how many.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, I wish she told me how many.

[Morgan]

He basically just told her to relax. Instead of putting stickers on her kids faces, I photoshopped them out of the pictures before posting online. My grandma sometimes prints photos and stickers would just look odd. Also, my sister in law does not want her kids pictures posted online. Anyways, my sister in law called me furious. She said that I was being a vindictive asshole and that it looked like her kids were not at the party or did not matter. My husband backed me up and said that she was overreacting. He told her that I respected her wishes and did not post her kids pictures online and that I do not owe her an apology.

[Ron Funches]

Good husband.

[Morgan]

My sister in law blocked both of us. My mother in law says we should explain the misunderstanding better and just apologize to end this argument. Do I owe her an apology? Was I an asshole?

[Ron Funches]

No, absolutely not. You did what she set up. But that's what I would say. The issue here is the Instagram fame is that people like that want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to post their kids on their Twitter terms and put the stickers on their faces. And then they also want to be like, respect my privacy. But here's the mystery of like you don't know what my kids look like. The hard thing is it doesn't protect them at all. If you're like worried about creeps. Creeps don't care about faces, you know, like they're still be perverted to your kids so you're not protecting them in that way. Like if you want to protect them like you said, then she did the right thing by removing them. But you want to had the thrill of the thing. Like I was, we were at the party and then they don't even care. That's you, that's her in her mind. Of like fomo of like everyone has to know we were there. Well, you gotta pick a lane. If you wanna be Instagram famous and stuff then do that. But you don't get to tell other people what to do with their pictures. I mean you had already lost me from the get go of. You don't get to go tell someone else that they're bad parents for how they raise their kids. Every kid's an individual. You don't know what works best for their kids. That's One of the things I learned before I got my diagnosis is just learning to do what was best for my son who had autism. And some of that was the exact opposite of what people thought that you should do for a kid. So you don't tell someone else that they're a bad parent for how they choose to protect their children or how they choose to celebrate their children. They're clearly the asshole. The mom knows that. She just don't wanna deal with it. She'd been dealing with it for however long. So she's like, it's easier to ask you to apologize than to ask her. Cause I'm gonna have to hear about this until Christmas when we get out of here for Christmas. But you gotta just tell her, you know who your daughter is. Don't put this on me now. It ain't my fault.

[Morgan]

It's also like, I think we like to be like, oh, just be the bigger person to the one that's usually a victim in a situation a lot of times, because we know how irrational and hardheaded and just goofy that other person is. And it's. It's easier to make the person be the bigger person when they have sense. And it's like, yeah, let me guilt you into apologizing for no reason to placate the crazy person. It doesn't make sense. It's like she has her rules for her kids. OP followed them. But what, like you're. You're unhappy that she followed your rules. And I find it interesting. I didn't think about this until I saw this comment. So someone goes, not the asshole. That is crazy. She can't have it both ways. And OP actually responds and says, my husband says, she wanted the stickers to make a point out of it. Quote, my kids are protected. Look at me. I'm a good mom. Mother in law thinks she feels like we eliminated her kids. You didn't eliminate her kids. The picture still exists. That if she wants to show that picture off the original.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

She can print it and put it in her house or a photo book for her kids. She's not posting them on social media anyways. This is on your personal social media that you have very few people on. Why does it matter?

[Ron Funches]

Man, I just gotta say after we went through that last post, is that I love this relationship between this husband and wife. They got each other's backs. Either even behind. Behind the back. They talking each other up, defending each other. Yeah, like that. That be the one takeaway is like, man, at least you got. You got the strong Family unit. Really, the rest of it don't matter to me. So congratulations.

[Morgan]

I know. Good partner, good boundaries. You don't often see that. You see, like, one of the people kind of siding with their family of origin to be like, okay, okay, like, let's just put out the fire here. There is a comment here. And someone goes, don't post my kids. Op then doesn't post her kids. No, not like that. Not the asshole. Someone responds and goes, maybe just remove their heads. No stickers, just headless bodies. Which is weirder. That's even weirder. And so someone actually responds and they go, I actually saw a picture of someone who removed their head for anonymity a few days ago, and it was creepy as fuck. And then someone shares down and they go, oh, yeah, thanks for the reminder about the big zucchini. It was in the Absolute Units subreddit. I had never heard about this subreddit, but apparently it's r Absolute Units.

[Ron Funches]

And is it just big penises?

[Morgan]

That's what one would think. But it is actually, lads, that you're in awe at the size of Absolute Unit. An animal or public figure who is larger than we should normally expect. And then this person posted in this sub, and they go, of a zucchini that we grew, and they posted a picture of their kid holding a ginormous zucchini, but they removed the child's head.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, that's terrifying.

[Morgan]

Isn't this.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

It's scary.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, the zucchini makes it worse.

[Lauren]

I know.

[Ron Funches]

That is wild.

[Morgan]

You didn't, like, protect your kid in that sense by removing their head and making them a headless horseman.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, no. If anything, you gave them a job to finish to visualize.

[Morgan]

It's worse.

[Ron Funches]

They're going, like, okay, when I'm done, that's what gonna look like.

[Morgan]

Like, literally all you had to do is lean the zucchini up against the bar stool that's also in the picture to demonstrate the size of it.

[Ron Funches]

That's true. You did not need a headless child for this. This is terrible. Please turn it back towards you.

[Morgan]

So I'm like, I. I just find this to be such an interesting dilemma we're now facing with social media and kids and pictures. It's like, I don't think the. I actually think you did it right.

[Ron Funches]

No, it sounds like the other person just has main character syndrome, and they just need. Even need at your kid's birthday to have a reason why they are the story.

[Morgan]

Yeah. We don't have any mention about how many Social media followers she has.

[Ron Funches]

I bet it's not that many. I bet it's only 10 grand.

[Morgan]

10k. And she's acting that goofy. It's so odd. People ask me because I've like talked about wanting kids and stuff now and people are like, are you gonna show your kids? And I'm like, I don't know. I feel like a baby picture, like when they're little new, like there's. They just all kind of look like potatoes. I'm like, I feel like that's okay.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I post different little events. Like, like when I do my Christmas card sometime I'll post our Christmas card.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I like that.

[Ron Funches]

So you'll see. Maybe you've seen my son when he was born and then one at a year and then one at three years. But I just don't.

[Morgan]

Not daily. I don't post that much either. So it's like, I don't know, but it's an interesting concept of people that are like, I'm not gonna show my kid online. And then they're still showing their kid online. And like the heart doesn't fully cover the face. It's like, like either do or don't. Yeah, but I don't know. That's maybe that's my hot take for the day.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I mean, different strokes, different folks. But don't. But that would be. The whole point is you then can't let's tell another parent what to do with their kids. That's the base level answer for me.

[Morgan]

I'm with you. Okay, this next one.

[Ron Funches]

I think I got this same blanket.

[Morgan]

Did you get it from Spotify? Maybe. Was it a present? Yeah, yeah, this is my Spotify blankie. I got a few from them. They give a pretty good. Pretty good blankets.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, they gave me a sign one time, a little light up sign.

[Morgan]

Was it that sign over there? The recording sign?

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, that's it.

[Morgan]

We're on the same list. The same mailing list. Okay. This one is coming from R. Relationship advice. So just another general relationship advice sub. It's titled My 24 male girlfriend, 22 female, and her sister, 20 female, are both pregnant with my children.

[Ron Funches]

Whoa. This is fun.

[Morgan]

Neither of them know about the other. I want to do the right thing.

[Ron Funches]

Too late for that

[Morgan]

throwaway account because my brother and a few in real life friends know my username. I have done a terrible, terrible thing. I have made a terrible, terrible mistake. I'm really not looking to be judged here, but I know it's going to come no matter what. I found out the same day about both of them being pregnant. I've been with my girlfriend for two years, and her sister and I hooked up around three weeks ago. It only happened once, and she told me that she was on birth control. Obviously not. My girlfriend and I have been trying, so I do know it's mine. Her sister says hers is definitely mine because she hasn't been with anyone else in two months. I convinced my girlfriend to wait to tell people for a couple of weeks, and her sister said she's going to wait for me to tell the family. I need to come clean. I need them both to know early on so I can sleep at night. I'm aware of.

[Ron Funches]

I'm sure that's gonna be happening. Yeah. Once you tell them, all your worries are over. You just gonna be like, oh, glad I got that off my chest. What are we having for dessert?

[Morgan]

I'm aware I'm going to be hated by their entire family and possibly all of our friends. I'm trying to do the right thing. If there is an option, even any advice is appreciated.

[Ron Funches]

Only if I could give you to truly help you would be to start a reality show. See if you can get this thing just going before you can convince them that, like, we're just gonna stay a family together. And I'm gonna. We're gonna try to see if we can get both these kids delivered on the same day and sell this to the Learning Channel.

[Morgan]

Literally. It's. It is like sister. Sister wives.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. That really is wild. Tell you so many things. Why would you. If you. Oh, I mean, hey, don't do this. But B, if you're going to do this, why would you not have protection with this? Are you just trusting the sister that's willing to cheat and screw over her sister? You're just like, she's honest. She's clearly going birth control. What? No. She's the crazy sister who's jealous of her sister. And now she's caused more drama. And then the fact that the first response isn't even like, well, we better go get some plan B or go to a clinic. But like, well, we just gotta figure out how to tell this. She's been. Oh, you are in 04. Yeah, sure, telling them is gonna end your worries. This is you. Your next two decades is fucked

[Morgan]

forever. Oh, my God. And like, I just, like, that's. I don't understand the sister. I don't understand him. Just like, if you. If you're gonna cheat, like, don't keep it in the same family. Like, find someone else. At least down the street.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. That's wild. Same house probably.

[Morgan]

Ew. Well they are young. 22 and 20.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Oh he could be going over to the parents house for both of them.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah and they were probably like warn the older sister. They were like oh we don't like this guy and now they gonna have two grandbabies from the same guy.

[Morgan]

This is horrible. I have like anxiety about this reality, this possibility.

[Ron Funches]

I mean I hope it's phony. It would be one thing. I hope it's fake. If it's real then just thank you for making me feel that my life is less complicated Really I think is what Reddit is for to read these stories and be like man it could be wor for me at least I'm not in this situation.

[Morgan]

The post is seven years old. It's vintage so it's not AI. I don't think ChatGPT was around in these days. We do have a couple comments from op. Someone goes, well for one, be honest. Make sure they both know your girlfriend will hopefully leave you. Maybe they will both want an abortion or you might end up paying child support for both while everyone hates you for the rest of your life.

[Ron Funches]

That was really the options. They really broke it down.

[Morgan]

It's just there it is and OP says I know she's going to leave me. I've accepted that and began to prepare silently. How could anyone stay? Yeah, he's kind of like if they

[Ron Funches]

did then you wouldn't respect her.

[Morgan]

Someone goes, dear God, please be a troll.

[Ron Funches]

That's what I was hoping.

[Morgan]

OP says, unfortunately not. I'm going to be downvoted to oblivion soon. So I hope I can get some advice before my post actually goes away and someone comments back, remind me in nine months. Well, fortunately we do get an update.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, I wanted an update.

[Morgan]

We do get an update. It comes just a few days after the first post. Again, this is from 2019. I debated on whether or not to post this since on the original post I was bombarded with hate and threatening private messages, including a docs threat. However, a few people gave some really solid and helpful advice, so this update is for them. I posted last Friday afternoon. On Fridays my girlfriend gets off of work at 10pm I told her sister to come over at around 9.45pm because we were going to tell her the truth. She agreed and I waited. The anxiety I felt was tremendous, but I just kept reminding myself that this was all my fault and nobody else but me made that mistake. When the sister didn't arrive by 10, I knew something was up. My suspicions were confirmed when they walked in the house together at 10:15. They sat me down and explained the situation. Sister had come clean to the girlfriend, and after a brief quarrel and anger, they decided to fuck with me to see how long I would keep the secret for props to them because I was completely blindsided. Girlfriend, now ex girlfriend, was very calm and had sister pack her a bag to go stay with her. I told her my friends and I would bring her belongings and furniture anywhere she wanted me to. She told me that she didn't want me touching her stuff and she would be moved out when I got home from work on Monday. Too long. Didn't read. Neither of them were pregnant. They found out about me cheating and fucked with me. I'm single now.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, that's fun. I like that. A good story. Except for she's way too forgiving of her sister.

[Morgan]

That was my first thing.

[Ron Funches]

I was like, she forgave her sister quick enough to make it like a 22 minute sitcom episode.

[Morgan]

I'd be an only child.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, it's like, no, okay, I'm not gonna pull a prank with you now.

[Morgan]

But I guess, like, what's that? What's that saying when you hate someone, the enemy of your enemy is my friend.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, but why is the sister and him enemies? They were both bad.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Ron Funches]

It's not like he took advantage of her. They just had sex.

[Morgan]

It must have been bad. It must have been really bad.

[Ron Funches]

She was like, it wasn't even worth it. I gotta tell my sister.

[Morgan]

No, like, it must have been really bad. To the point she was like, oh, I fucked up. Like, I gotta tell her. So, like, this doesn't get bad in. In my favor. Like this. He was not good.

[Ron Funches]

Wow, I love that insight. I wouldn't have thought of it, though.

[Morgan]

I mean, I don't know because, like, I think we've had a couple stories on Reddit where sisters do steal husbands. They. It happens. It must have just been not worth it.

[Ron Funches]

Mm. Wow.

[Morgan]

Grass was not greener.

[Ron Funches]

That's a double diss. Lost a girl and the other lady was like, mm, not even good.

[Morgan]

Not even good. Wow, that's pretty wild.

[Ron Funches]

Mm. I'm glad we got clarity.

[Morgan]

We. So much clarity.

[Ron Funches]

2020 still, though, best case scenario for him, no kids.

[Morgan]

And he learned probably a really, really valuable lesson.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, he probably was just in his empty apartment playing video games at night, breathing a sigh of relief. Geez.

[Morgan]

Glass of champagne to celebrate that.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It's so crazy.

[Ron Funches]

And he's single and then he Slept. And they could never take away from him that he slept with both sisters. Wow, he really won.

[Morgan]

Did he win at the end?

[Ron Funches]

I think he did. If you think about it, he kind of won.

[Morgan]

I didn't want him to win.

[Ron Funches]

He slept with both of the sisters. They got out of the relationship. He's by himself with no child support. He's in his 20s, still. He can go start a new relationship and still always being like, man, I slept with both of those girls. He kind of won.

[Morgan]

Unfortunately, I don't like when bad people win.

[Ron Funches]

Me too. But it's a fun story.

[Morgan]

I need hope that karma does exist because it has not not attacked my enemy yet.

[Ron Funches]

So life is long. I've seen it before.

[Morgan]

That's true.

[Ron Funches]

I've had it happen.

[Morgan]

Have you?

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Life is long. Okay, be patient. Be patient.

[Ron Funches]

I had a day like that where I ran into multiple people who were just shitty to me for no reason. And they all, like, saw me after, like, a real positive thing had happened to me. And so then it was like. It was real funny. It does happen. I've seen it.

[Morgan]

How did that feel?

[Ron Funches]

Felt amazing.

[Morgan]

Did you just kind of, like, revel in it? Did you feel like you were walking a couple inches taller? Like.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, it's because it was in my old hometown, around a bunch of people.

[Morgan]

Oh, hometown's always good.

[Ron Funches]

You'll never do it. And then they all had to be like, oh, I saw you on this. I saw you on that.

[Morgan]

I love that.

[Ron Funches]

So it was nice.

[Morgan]

It's so satisfying. People are gonna be so excited to see you. Not the silent Scream again. No, I almost did it.

[Lauren]

And then I put my hands back down.

[Morgan]

No, if you know, you know. The silent scream thing has been haunting

[Lauren]

me, but my nails are fixed now.

[Morgan]

Okay, do it once, one more time just for good measure. Oh, my God. So good. Okay, Lauren's popping in for this next story because it is a special story brought to you by State Farm. As we know, life comes in all stages. Crazy stages, happy stages, sad stages, chaos stages. All the stages, whether it's getting a brand new car stage, maybe a new job, a new city. Maybe the family is growing. Maybe you got your first home and you're so excited about it. Each one of these life events can bring change and uncertainty. So it helps to have someone like a State Farm agent in your corner. And this next story, they need someone in their corner. This story is titled Am I Wrong for banning my friend's untrained dog from our new house. We recently moved from a rented property to our own house. Now we have white carpet everywhere and a white sofa. Our cat has white fur, so we had no choice in picking the sofa and the carpet color. Our friends have a large, untrained black dog. The last time they visited our rented property, the dog did his business in every corner.

[Lauren]

Oh no.

[Morgan]

Did number two in the middle of the room and drooled all over our sofa. He also terrorizes our cat every time they meet. Like many pet owners, our friends believe their dog is an angel. This is now our own house and we paid a lot for the sofa and the carpets. We also don't want our cat being scared in his own home. I should mention, they always take their dog everywhere with them. And they are our very close friends. We asked them to come to the housewarming party without their dog. Their parents live nearby, so leaving the dog for a day shouldn't be too much of a hassle. They are now mad at us for being heartless. And it seems that they don't want to continue our friendship.

[Ron Funches]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Am I wrong for picking furniture and my cat over friendship?

[Lauren]

No, they, they literally.

[Morgan]

I'm just laughing at the absurdity.

[Lauren]

I know. I, I, I want to come up with like a one liner, a zinger, but I can't because I'm, I'm too caught off guard. No, I, I just think it's so crazy. Like, I can't imagine, Like, I know that I probably shouldn't say this because I don't have a child, but, like, I feel like even if I had a child who I would love with like every beat fiber in my body, if they peed in every single corner of my friend's place and then pooped in the middle of the thing, I would understand if they were like, I need some space. Can you drop your child off at like, your mom's for the night?

[Morgan]

You know, I'm just envisioning a kid doing all this.

[Lauren]

Well, yeah, I'm like, I would, I would be like, you know what? Like, this is, this child's my life. I love our friendship. I will have a night to have somebody else watch my child so we can get together. We will work on this. And I would, and I want you to know that I would love to continue to have our child come along because we, we bring our child everywhere. So from now we'll have space. We'll work on the problem. And I hope that you give us another chance.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And like, the fact that, like, this is not a kid, like, this is also a dog.

[Lauren]

That's my Point.

[Morgan]

That's why I'm saying that this is crazy. It's ludicrous. And I think it's so nuts to like, okay, your dog is clearly not very housebroken. And we have a new place with white carpet, white sofa, and it's a housewarming party. There's gonna be a lot of other guests. There's gonna be maybe food displayed on the counter. I don't need to watch your big dog, Beethoven, who's just wrecking havoc and deal with that. I'm just envisioning the drool and, like, stealing food off the counters. And I love dogs, but this is not your house. Yeah. And to end a friendship over it. Well, you're a fair weather friend.

[Lauren]

And then. Okay, let's say all of that was not even an issue. The fact alone that, like, if they. From one animal owner to another one, understand how much they love their pet, then they should respect the fact that, like, there is an animal there that is very unhappy with the other animals. So, like, you should respect that on, like, like, on its own. And. And I even. I can, like, relate to this. Cause when I was fostering the last cat I was fostering, I had two friends come over that had two small dogs. And when we went. I went to sleep in my room. They slept on the couch. And I woke up the next day and I was like, wait, why? Why did the cat get moved into, like, what happened? And they're like, I woke up in the middle of the night to the dogs just chasing the cat in circles nonstop. And the cat looked terrorized. And like, they were like. They were like these two little tiny dogs, and they were like they were having the time of their life. They thought that they just made best friends. They didn't realize that the cat was terrorized. And I'm, like, looking.

[Morgan]

I felt so bad.

[Lauren]

And the cat the next day was

[Morgan]

like, so, like, just cowering. Just off.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And so I think.

[Lauren]

And that's just a.

[Morgan]

You know, and this is their pet, their home.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, your rules, end of day.

[Lauren]

And. Yeah, true.

[Morgan]

Your rules. This is like an exciting time. You're having a housewarming party and they don't want to come and they don't want to be your friend anymore because they can't bring their moose of a dog with them that shits everywhere. Sorry. That's just the way the cookies crumbling.

[Lauren]

So can State Farm mediate this situation?

[Morgan]

State Farm? Hell yeah. So the top comment on this one, not the asshole. If their dog is untrained and urinating Slash defecating in other people's houses. Your friends are huge for continuously bringing the dog everywhere. I'd be embarrassed if I took my dog to someone's house and he ended up doing that inside. In fact, it did happen once when I brought my then girlfriend, now wife's dog to my parents. Dog pooped in the house. Never brought the dog to anyone's house after that. If they can't respect your house and your feelings on this, then you're better off without them in your life.

[Lauren]

Yeah. That's why I'm saying I'm like, even. No matter how much you love anything, like, if. If they can't be potty trained in somebody else's house, you got to take a step back and be like, let's work on this. Like, what's going on?

[Morgan]

I know.

[Lauren]

You know, like, actually, even the same dog, another friend, when she babysits that dog sometimes, because she also has animals, they. They start smelling each other's and start like.

[Morgan]

So she actually.

[Lauren]

When she babysits them, she has them wear diapers.

[Morgan]

Diapers. Smart. Yeah. So I love a dog diaper. Yeah. I think more people should put diapers on their dogs. Yeah. So I just. I think I saw. I saw a dog traveling through the airport today. I saw a dog just lift its leg and pee on a wall. That dog needs a diaper.

[Lauren]

It probably was literally smelling like human piss and was, like, marking this one.

[Ron Funches]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

It's lax. So insane. Well, thank you, State Farm for this story. Whatever stage you're crossing into, know that farm is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With State Farm, you can focus on what matters most, knowing you're prepared for whatever may come next. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Do you have any secret family recipes?

[Ron Funches]

I mean, we have a fam. My mom has a family sweet potato pie recipe. I have a baked macaroni and cheese, and then a potato salad will be my specialty.

[Morgan]

You got the good comfort foods. Sweet potatoes, one of my favorites. Mac and cheese. Yes. Are you gonna. Would you be willing to share any of them?

[Ron Funches]

No.

[Morgan]

Damn.

[Ron Funches]

What are yours, Morgan?

[Morgan]

I have a couple different ones. My grandma's chocolate chip cookies. Fire. I've got a really good cardamom bread recipe I don't even know from my grandma. Well, so it's a Swedish thing, but they make it in, like, traditional Swedish recipes. It's like buns. Cardamom buns. But my grandma. Maybe it's a Minnesota thing. Maybe it's like a Swedish Minnesotan thing. Classy. They almost make it where it looks like a challah bread where it's like braided and it's so good.

[Ron Funches]

So good.

[Morgan]

I've got a few family recipes and I am willing to share them.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, well, that makes us different.

[Morgan]

You can reconsider. Maybe. I don't think I'll include you in the 200.

[Ron Funches]

Well, then I'll take the cookies. I'll take the cookie one.

[Morgan]

I'll trade you.

[Ron Funches]

No, you just said I could have it. You didn't say I had to trade. You said you would give it. So it just seems like out of the goodness of your heart, you should just give it to me and respect my boundaries.

[Morgan]

I guess I did offer it free of charge. I didn't really incentivize you to give me anything. There's no trade there. No bartering. I'm a bad barterer. Okay, so this is coming from R Confessions. It's a month old now titled. My mother in law is currently giving me the silent treatment because I won't share a family recipe that is actually just expensive takeout.

[Ron Funches]

That's fun. That's so fun. It's a fun story.

[Morgan]

I'll die if I don't share this. Three years ago, I was supposed to cook for my wife's birthday dinner and I completely torched the main dish in a total panic. I drove to this Italian deli two towns over, bought two massive trays of lasagna, scraped the cheese on top so it looked messy and homemade, and hid the foil containers in the outside trash.

[Ron Funches]

I remember that episode of the Simpsons Ski more center did that. He made steamed hams.

[Morgan]

I think a lot of people do this. It was a hit. Like they wouldn't shut up about it. Best thing they ever ate. Now I'm the lasagna guy. Every birthday, every holiday, I have to drive 40 minutes round trip, smuggle this stuff into the house in a gym bag and transfer it to my own Pyrex dishes when my wife is in the shower. The issue is my mother in law asked for the recipe last week for her church potluck. I didn't know what to do, so I told her I promised my late grandmother on her deathbed that I wouldn't write it down. She called me selfish and is actually pissed off at me. I feel like a total fraud. But I can't tell her the secret ingredient is $80 and a guy named Sal.

[Ron Funches]

Mm, no. That's easy. That's easy.

[Morgan]

What do you do?

[Ron Funches]

You let her in because then you build Trust and confidence with her. You know you have an alliance with your mother in law. I learned this after I should have done this stuff in the Traders I didn't know. But now I get it. And so that's what I would do is I would actually say I'm gonna teach you the recipe, but I'm gonna need you to come to me. I'm gonna come. You take her to the restaurant before and then have her eat lasagna and go like, this is it. Please don't tell anybody else. You gotta keep it a secret.

[Morgan]

What if she's a snitch though?

[Ron Funches]

That's the risk you running? I guess. But I don't believe she's probably old school because then she'll have something over the church people too. So then she, because then the only two. You have the lasagna and you're like, oh. He took me aside, told me the story of why it's so important to him. He shared it with me, but now I can't share it with anybody.

[Morgan]

It's not my secret.

[Ron Funches]

Not my secret to share it.

[Morgan]

I cannot do that to his grandmother's memory.

[Ron Funches]

You build trust and you got and double lasagna. I think that's the move.

[Morgan]

Personally, I kind of like the way you're thinking. I was like, ah, just find a fake recipe. And that's, that's what a lot of the comments say. They're like, just give her a random lasagna recipe.

[Ron Funches]

She gonna know. She gonna know the taste is different.

[Morgan]

I know, but everyone is just like, just express disappointment when it never turns out the same. But I kind of like this. I do like having a little bit of a, a bonding moment between your mother in law.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. You still keeping a secret from your wife? It's just a fun secret to have. It's not hurting anybody. Yeah, but then now you two are in on it and then she knows. Even when this guy keeps secrets, it's just lasagna.

[Morgan]

It's just lasagna.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Huh. Would you ever go on Survivor?

[Ron Funches]

No.

[Morgan]

The. Why?

[Ron Funches]

Because I don't want to. I like food.

[Morgan]

Well, they have coconuts.

[Ron Funches]

That's not enough.

[Morgan]

And some rice. No, I, sometimes they get a chicken.

[Ron Funches]

I like protein veggies and a nice. I, I'm. I like sleep. I like eight hours of sleep.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Ron Funches]

I like, I like indoors. I don't even like the beach. I don't like the beach on a regular day.

[Lauren]

I know.

[Morgan]

That's my problem. I don't really like being sandy and, and getting like in the ocean. And if you accidentally get some water near your. Your mouth, it tastes like corn on the cob. Yeah, I'm like, really? I know. I have a hard time with that.

[Ron Funches]

I like to have a hotel near the beach. That's wonderful.

[Morgan]

Do you still like to go in the pool, though, over the ocean nearby?

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. I mean, I will go into the actual ocean and. But then I will go in the ocean, get out, and then I'm done. We're done. The beach for me is like 30 minutes.

[Morgan]

What's your drink of choice at the beach?

[Ron Funches]

My drink of choice is the same everywhere. Water. Coke Zero. Coke Zero and water. I like both those things.

[Morgan]

Do you like the taste of water? It's the one thing I just, like, have a really hard time with. The taste of water.

[Ron Funches]

Do you not drink enough? Oh, I did not drink enough water.

[Morgan]

Ironically dehydrated.

[Ron Funches]

Well, if you don't drink enough water, then you don't want, like, the taste of water. You gotta drink. You gotta get used to the taste of it. When you're not. When water tastes bad to you, that's a bad sign.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna have to think about this for a while. I just, like, don't. You don't like the taste of it, so drink more.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. No. Yeah. You see, I mean, there's other. There's like, a YouTuber who got made fun of a lot because he never drank water, and he drank water and he spit it out and had to, like, wash it down with soda. And people were telling him it's because, like, you've gone too far.

[Morgan]

There's only a couple brands that I do like. Like, very selective.

[Ron Funches]

But, like, which one you don't want to say because you don't have a brand deal.

[Morgan]

Not yet. I really like Liquid Death. I love all waters from Iceland. Like, they just taste really good. You could, like, take your little water bottle, you go up to a waterfall there in Iceland, and just drink straight from the source. That's legit. I like sparkling water, but that doesn't necessarily count. But there's still real water.

[Ron Funches]

Why in the US Why was sparkling water count?

[Morgan]

A lot of people say it doesn't count.

[Ron Funches]

I think they're wrong. Just because it's sparkling, they think it doesn't count.

[Morgan]

Well, because they're like, it's purified. And purified water is bad for you. You should be drinking spring water.

[Ron Funches]

No, that's true. You do want minerals. You want natural minerals.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I watched that Zac Efron documentary where purified water leeches minerals from you.

[Ron Funches]

Would you have watched it if it wasn't Zac Efron? Nice. I like that.

[Morgan]

Yeah, he did a good job in it, though.

[Ron Funches]

I didn't. I'm unaware of it. I don't watch many things. No, I watch mostly pro wrestling from the early 2000s, and then I Love Lucy and King of the Hill, and then the. Occasionally the show will grab me and then I will watch all of it. Other than that, I should have known. I had autism a long time ago.

[Morgan]

Probably wrestling from the 2000s. Yeah, that's a good one. I Love Lucy's good. I miss TV Land. When I was growing up, I had TV Land on my TV and I would watch Mr. Ed, the Andy Griffith Show, I Dream of Jeannie Bewitched. Like, I would watch all these old shows. Why haven't those made it to the streamers yet?

[Ron Funches]

It's a good question. They really pick and choose. I mean, I Love Lucy is on Paramount plus, which makes sense, but. Yeah, so many of them are hard to find. It's the one thing that sucks is when you. When you have an option of everything and so the value is lowered and you lose that discovery of just like. Like, oh, I'm forced to have this cultural knowledge of Green Acres and Benny Hill because that's what came on and what my grandparents were watching. You know, I miss that type of stuff.

[Morgan]

I know. I do, too. There was one show I was really surprised you can't even find now on streamers. It was like, is it Westworld? It's like an HBO show about, like, AI, Real life, like, robot people.

[Ron Funches]

That's not findable, apparently. It's happening. It's happening. It's going to happen. More and more physical media is coming back.

[Morgan]

I want to get a vcr.

[Ron Funches]

You should.

[Morgan]

I'm like, when I have kids, I just, like, want a little TV with a vcr. I've still got all. All my old movies. We'll let them pop it in. They don't get instant gratification. They gotta rewind those tapes. Like, we're gonna really have to work for our.

[Ron Funches]

Work for.

[Morgan]

Yeah, work for our tv. Time question, though, about sharing information.

[Ron Funches]

Sure.

[Morgan]

Did you, you know, when you were in Rob were playing chess in there, did you ever feel like he was close to telling you? Cause, like, everyone in hindsight has been like, it seemed like Rob was about to tell Ron that he was a traitor.

[Ron Funches]

I don't think he would have ever told me directly, but I do think so. Do you think that was him both fishing and at the Same time, probably feeling a little bit of the weight of it, because it is hard to. I mean, I wasn't a traitor, so I wouldn't know that aspect of it. But I imagine if you are a good person, like I know him to be, it is hard to continuously just lie to a bunch of people. And then just. Even the way he, like, ended up not voting for me, which was so fun. And I loved watching it play out when I already knew that he had won, you know.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

And watching everybody be like, oh, he just ruined his game and why would he do that? And da, da, da, da, da. And I'm like, hey, it is smart gameplay. Everybody was already starting to think that Lisa was a traitor, so why would he not vote for her? And then b, it also just. Just was like, he's a good person. He could see that people were being a bit rude to me and isolating me. And he knew that if he had voted for me at that moment, that I would have been like, you too. And he was like, I don't want to do that.

[Morgan]

No. Watching you eat alone, like, I was just like, heartbreaking for so many of us out there.

[Ron Funches]

I appreciate that.

[Morgan]

It's like everyone needs a little recharge. But, like, you, you got. Got bullied.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. I agree with you. But it led to great things because then other people who could see what was going on, even through some of the, you know, editing, which makes it like, you know.

[Morgan]

Yeah. The edit of it all too.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. So to have people still be like, oh, we see what's going on, and that's not cool. They clocked it made me feel really good.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

And the amount of support and love I've gotten from it outside of the. To me, and she's like, you know, bad week at work. You don't always like the people you work with. I'm cool with that. I just would never have made it that personal. I wouldn't not have eaten. You know, the second day I figured out Donna was a traitor. Still hung out with her, still ate with her. You know, there was no reason to me to over a game to ever treat people the way some of those people treated me.

[Morgan]

No. It's insane. And there is a little bit of the glass half full with it where like, it literally led you to kind of discovering things about yourself, like autism and you then can relate more to your child. And I saw, I think it was like the Today show you went on or CBS or CBS Morning with Gayle King.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, yeah.

[Morgan]

And you were like, it was just kind of nice because, like, now with my son, like I'm in the pool swimming with him. Like, I get it now. And it was just a really cool analogy. So. So it's nice that at least that came out of such a tumultuous experience.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Yeah, I agree with you. It's just, you know, I'm glad people got to see it and got to see me, and I'm glad of what I got to see in myself that I stuck to my goal, that I never lied.

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[Morgan]

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[Ron Funches]

that I always that I still tried to play the game and be helpful even when other people were mean to me and that I could show something to my sons and go, like, even when you're under stress and duress, like, this is how you act as a man. This is how you treat people.

[Morgan]

I love that. That's a really, really good point. And amazing that that like, was your goal too, to go in and like, I'm gonna just be me, not lie. And you held on to that. I love that. Okay, I've got one last story for you.

[Ron Funches]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Okay. This is pretty recent coming from a couple weeks ago. It is titled Am I the asshole if I ruin my sister's honeymoon by telling her that her husband was caught kissing someone else? Throwaway account. My sister was recently married over the weekend and she is now on her honeymoon in Aruba. She asked me before she left to develop the disposable cameras that she had on each table for the guest to take their own pictures of the reception. It was an outdoor event in which I was the maid of honor. Everything was beautiful, no problems at all throughout the whole night. At the end of the night, each guest went to their respective lodgings as it was a remote wedding near a hotel. My sister texted me instructions to pick up the disposable cameras from the coordinator and have them developed because she wanted to put together a slideshow. When she returned, I had them developed and I was flipping through them and I came across an image of my brother in law kissing a mysterious woman. I've stared at this photo for what must be an hour and I can't place the woman he's kissing once more. It's kind of blurry, like maybe it was taken in a hurry. Sort of out of focus, but just focused enough that I can place his face. There's no doubt about it. This man is my brother in law. This is my sister's husband. From the tux to his loafers to the wedding band. I've flipped through the rest of the pictures and he is the only one wearing a very specific tie. That's sort of a running joke between him and my sister. I've started passively asking around about this woman at her wedding and I told our side that I wanted to reach out to her about some services that she said she provided. Obvious lie, but no one knows who she is and she is only in two photos. One is a side profile, the other is her kissing my brother in law. This was a very passionate yet secret kiss. It was taken outside of the tent where the reception was held, just far away enough that no one would have seen them near the tree line. They're holding each other. I don't know if I'm taking this out of context. Maybe I am. My brother in law is a great guy, so I don't like that I'm automatically jumping to conclusions. But this is a very uncomfortable photo. The way it was taken was suspect too because it's slightly out of focus. Why? Like whoever took it knew that they were catching something inappropriate it. For reference, the outdoor restrooms were near the tree line. Unfortunately, there's no way to trace who used each disposable camera. It was a spur of the moment idea my sister got after watching a TikTok. So I have no way of asking the person who took the photo and how they came across them and why. But I have a nagging feeling. Would I be the if I called her while she's on her honeymoon to tell her what I found? Should I wait until she returns and present her with the photo? I can't supply more details here because I have family members that actively use Reddit. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Ron Funches]

Another TikTok trend fucking everybody's life up.

[Morgan]

I mean, why would he think it's okay to kiss a mistress on the disposable camera?

[Ron Funches]

That to me makes me feel like there's gotta be something more to it. Because even if. If you were cheating a why would the person you're cheating with want to come to your wedding?

[Morgan]

Like, oh, it's their last shot.

[Ron Funches]

You think so?

[Morgan]

Oh yeah.

[Ron Funches]

Okay.

[Morgan]

They're in there right before he walks down the aisle.

[Ron Funches]

I'm willing to believe that.

[Morgan]

Choose me. Pick me.

[Ron Funches]

But then I don't think that they're going to like kiss someone openly out at this wedding. I know, I understand. They're saying it was out. To answer the question, I would wait and I would just put the photos with the slideshow and just

[Lauren]

you.

[Morgan]

You're devious.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

In the slideshow?

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, why not?

[Morgan]

So she finds out the first time as she's clicking through a slideshow. What if there's. What if everyone's there?

[Ron Funches]

Then to me, that's the time you Want to do it because, A, you're not gonna be. He's not gonna be able to prepare and come up with some weird lie.

[Morgan]

Oh, that's true.

[Ron Funches]

And then you have backup to be like, what is this? Or, see, you know what it is. Who knows? Maybe she knows who that is. I don't know.

[Morgan]

I mean, some people kiss their cousins on the mouth.

[Ron Funches]

Could be a cousin. Could have been an ex or something. I don't know. I don't know.

[Morgan]

I don't know either. I.

[Ron Funches]

But I wouldn't ruin their honeymoon.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Ron Funches]

No.

[Morgan]

And some people would probably be like, well, they're on their honeymoon. They're away from the world. It would give them a chance to hash it out. But I'm like. Like, her life's about to blow up. When she gets back, let her have one nice week in Aruba.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Just one nice week. I don't know if I would be ballsy enough to do the slideshow. I think that's a little. That's a little wonky for me. For me.

[Ron Funches]

I understand.

[Morgan]

You. You. You. You kind of give pot stirrer.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So I think you could handle that.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

My anxiety would be too great. But I'd wait till she gets back and just, like, say, hey, can we go grab dinner? Can we catch up? And I'd slide the photo across the table and be like, do you know this person? Maybe the side profile picture first. Do you know this person?

[Ron Funches]

Oh, nice.

[Morgan]

And then if she's like, oh, yeah, that's John's cousin Melissa, then you don't

[Ron Funches]

even go with the second one.

[Morgan]

You say, are they pretty close? Like kissing cousins close? And then she's like, why do you ask? And then you slide the second one across the table.

[Ron Funches]

I like how you're a good detective. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I love a clue.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I could tell.

[Morgan]

I love a clue, love a plot.

[Ron Funches]

You were like, boom, I'm gonna lead you, and then hit you with the big bomb at the end. I like your style. I don't think you're doing much different than what I'm doing. Just not out in public.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I don't wanna. Because I love my sister. I wouldn't want to embarrass her. She's excited to relive her wedding, which was so fun. And then all of a sudden, it's like.

[Ron Funches]

Well, I mean, also, my reasoning for the slideshow aspect of it then, is, to me, I don't want to look like a weirdo who's, like, suspicious. Yeah. I want to just be like, I just. It was in here. I didn't even know and like, oh, this is an issue. Oh, I didn't know know.

[Morgan]

I thought that was okay. I mean, he took a picture of it.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, it was in the pictures.

[Morgan]

It was in the pictures.

[Ron Funches]

That's. See, that's my point of it. I don't have to be like, boom. Because then I don't want him to be like, oh, that's so and so. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry.

[Morgan]

It was a dare. I took that picture.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Or something. Whatever. It could be.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Some people are swingers. They could be swingers and you just don't know.

[Ron Funches]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

The wedding day is a wild day to swing, but I don't know, just another Tuesday or Saturday for them.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, exactly.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. Well, you would be the asshole if you didn't tell her at all. But since you are planning to let her know, the time and place is really up to your discretion. So not the asshole, I guess. But for safety reasons, it might be for the best to wait until after they come back from the honeymoon at least in case, the worst case scenario, then your sister will be closer to family. I'll take your word that your brother in law is a great guy and you probably think he's never been violent. But don't let your guard down just yet, considering that he now might not be the great guy you all came to know. Better safe than sorry. No one knows what this man is capable of.

[Ron Funches]

When emotions get high, men have the worst reputation. They're immediately like, don't. He might kill her. Like, what? It's gonna go that far? That quick? That's wild. But I'm not saying that it won't happen though, you know, but we got bad rep, man. We got bad rep.

[Morgan]

Even for me, I will say that's a bit of a stretch. That feels like Elastigirl. Like you're really, you're pulling there. Someone responds though and said, sad but excellent comment. I don't know. Nah.

[Ron Funches]

I feel also sometimes like when you go on a date and I mean, I understand having a check in and being like, oh, I want to check in and say, but sometimes the lady will tell you. And I'm just like, well then, then maybe we just should have never gone on this date. If you feel like you're not safe.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

Then you should go home where you're safe.

[Morgan]

I got a true crime podcast called Clues and I, I learn a lot of crazy stuff about these cases every week and you can't be too sure. Like sometimes, you know, people flip a switch and you just. People, people, you know, snap.

[Ron Funches]

No, I agree. Protect yourself overall. I understand.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone goes, wait until you can tell her in person. If you tell her while she's on her trip, he's going to deny, deny, deny, deny, with plenty of time to put the blame on you. In the meantime, keep searching for the mystery woman. And OP responds, I do plan on finding this mystery woman and I hope that I'm seeing this photo out of context, but I won't give her the photos or say anything until she returns.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I wouldn't keep certain. To me that's what I'm saying. You don't know the context of the photos, so why search for the woman? Like just present the evidence you have. Yeah, you don't need to now you're out there playing detective. Then it's just like this is a thrill for you.

[Morgan]

I know you're kind of trying now a little too hard.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like if your sister deems it worthy to look further than let her. Yeah, I know. Op's like, I'm waiting to hear back from a few people who might know her. There is a guest list, but it may raise concerns if I ask for it.

[Ron Funches]

It.

[Morgan]

I don't want to do anything rash. Yeah, but like she's already considering, like, oh, there's a guest list. I could look at that.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, she's too, she's too into it. She's. No, she just. Just wait. Give these pictures and then other than that, just leave it alone.

[Morgan]

Also, if this is a mistress or someone he's been cheating with, I don't think she's going to be on the guest list. She could have been a crasher.

[Ron Funches]

That's a good point.

[Morgan]

You don't know.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, she would have to be real dumb to be like, like also put me on the guest list.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah, she's not on that guest list. We do get a little bit of a mini update. I've gotten a few comments about the photo. Blurry maybe is a hyperbole, but he was holding this woman while kissing her hands on the small of her back and one just above her ass. So yes, they were intimate. Also, from the comments I'm receiving, I won't be sharing what I know until she returns. There were some comments about my brother in law painting me as the bad guy. If I tell her now, which is valid, I'll continue to look for this mystery woman in the meantime. But for now, I'll keep this on the DL. So far, I'm the only one who knows.

[Ron Funches]

It almost makes me feel like less is going on because of the hand on the small of the back.

[Morgan]

That's kind of an intimate spot.

[Ron Funches]

It's intimate, but if you're out there cheating on a thing, you're gonna put the hand on the ass.

[Morgan]

Oh, you're going full cheek.

[Ron Funches]

I think so if you're going for it, at that point, you're catching a quick, passionate thing in your highness. Or you're going boom, boom, boom. Get a little get asked too, before you get out of there. Yeah, but if you're just doing small in the back, to me, that's less intimate.

[Morgan]

I. I could see that now.

[Ron Funches]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

Maybe we'll do a poll on this one. Do you think he was kissing a cousin or some relative? Maybe crazy aunt Lisa came by and wanted to kiss on the lips, or is he cheating?

[Ron Funches]

I think it's a third option.

[Morgan]

What's option? Swinger.

[Ron Funches]

Either swinger or this was an old lover of his that is. Was still important to him, and she obviously thinks that he's important to her. And so they had this like. Like embrace. This kind of like them being like, well, I'm letting you go off into your marriage. But they had this little embrace. I could see that.

[Morgan]

I'll put a poll. You guys can vote. We'll see what we think. I love a poll.

[Ron Funches]

Me too.

[Morgan]

Ron, thank you so much for coming on.

[Ron Funches]

It was fun. I agree.

[Morgan]

This was so fun. Yeah, this was so good. What else are you working on? Do you. Do you want to share anything? Do you want to send everyone a certain direction?

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I mean, my YouTube is good. Anything. Ron funches on all socials. Just go and do that on YouTube, Instagram, wherever, TikTok, and then come see me. I'm on a road. I'm on a tour, my faithful tour. Talking trash about some of the people from the Traders and then talking about my life and my family. It's a fun show. It's doing very well. So come and buy tickets. I'm going all over the United States, so. And, oh, also the uk. Hey, so come see me for that.

[Morgan]

I love it. You're doing, like, Netflix as a joke. You. I saw your schedule, your lineup. You're busy.

[Ron Funches]

I stay busy.

[Morgan]

You're booked. I'm busy.

[Ron Funches]

I try.

[Morgan]

I love it.

[Ron Funches]

Got to be.

[Morgan]

All of Ron's links will be in the description. Super easy to find. Check out a show. The standup bits, incredible. I. I mean, there's so much I could hit on with your. Your standup. I. I love the fact that you're into conspiracy theories. The koala thing really scared me, but really, really, really fun standup. So be sure to check it out, you guys. And other than that, until next time, bye.

[Ron Funches]

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