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Courtney
Find.
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Find Bondable Bistro bowls at your local retailer or learn more at Bistro Bowls Us. Eat well, be well, bond well. Welcome back to two Judgy Girls. This is Mary from the Bay and
Courtney
it's Courtney from la. We're here to talk the brand new franchise, the Real Houses of Rhode Island. Now, Mary, last week you were nervous. You didn't have high hopes. You said, I don't know about this show. Andy's been talking it up. But we know what happens when Andy talks things up is usually it's because it's not good and we need the attention. Out of 10, what did you rate the Premiere? 10.
Mary
Honestly, it really was a 10.
Courtney
Thanks for not lying.
Mary
It just, it gave me old housewives, new people, they don't know what they're doing. It gave me money, it gave me rich, it gave me affluent. I love that they're all connected. It seems like they've known each other for 20 years. People went to high school with each other. It just felt. Felt fresh. And it's kind of crazy that the last time we had a new franchise was Salt Lake City, which is now on the seventh season. So we haven't had a new franchise in seven seasons, which feels wild.
Courtney
That does feel crazy. Wow. Wow. Okay, overall thoughts for you, I completely agree with you. I thought it was great. Now, I had been hearing good things about it and sometimes I think I lead a life of, of maybe the glass is half full. That's at least how I'm trying to be these days. And so I went into it thinking, hey, I think this is going to be fun. You watched it before me and I had sent A text saying, oh, no, this is good. Which got me excited because what a turn we had to take for you to get there.
Mary
You know, I'm slow to warm sometimes. I'm always questioning people and don't let people in right away. And then when I love you, I love you.
Courtney
Yeah, I totally get it. You made some really good points. There's this level of that they almost think they know what the game of reality TV is, and they're going to be humbled by not knowing it. Obviously, we have the influence of Dolores coming in this season, who I think is trying to teach them the ropes. But there's something about how many of them have long histories with each other, how small the area of Rhode island is, how interconnected they all seem, and then the crazy relationships they have with their partners, with each other, with their family members, and everybody that's involved. And it was refreshing and exciting. And I think a lot of them also have skeletons, even though they think they're being open and honest. And I am ready for a new franchise. I think this was the perfect casting. I'm ready to see all of Dolores and the other Dolores is take each other on, go to parties, talk rumors, experience polygamy. Never have I ever. Divorces, recouplings. I don't know. I'm ready.
Mary
It truly had it all, and we did not need Dolores in this. I think that is not giving the girls enough credit. Personally, I don't want a mama bear showing them the ropes. I want them to learn it on their own. And Liz is really the mamba bear here. I don't think we need Dolores. And it's kind of disappointing that they added her, I think.
Courtney
Well, I just feel like Dolores never really was a drama starter. In a way, she was almost like the peacekeeper. And she was very. I know she went patterson sometimes, but for the most part, she was the connector, and so it felt a little put upon. I know her and Liz seemingly are friends and have met at a cannabis convention. And Dolores had nothing to do for the summer, and her and Paulie were like, we're just gonna hang here for three or four, AKA the amount of time it takes to film a show. I was like, liz looks so much like her. That's enough.
Mary
The way that they have the same dentist and the same doctor. I'm like, well, no wonder they're twins. Yeah.
Courtney
I loved Liz, though. She, for me, right out of the bat was my favorite. She gave me such big ang vibes from Mob Wives. And we get Drita on House of villains. There's also these rumblings that Drita might join the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey, which would be an interesting angle.
Mary
Wow, I have not heard that. I like that.
Courtney
Rumors are tough these days. Sure, I don't know what to believe anymore, but Liz was just giving me such big ang vibes. She's got the big house too. She's got that long dock. She's walking her cat ganja from the end back in the husband's cleaning up cat poop. They're the king and queen of the cannabis industry. She's the oldest on the cast and she has connections, actions, and she self proclaimed as scary.
Mary
She also is related to her husband down the line. Ancestry.com had confirmed that, and they don't
Courtney
have any children together, but he had three daughters and now they're her stepdaughters. I wanted to read her official bio for you. Rhode Island's Cannabis queen Liz McGraw isn't just running one of the country's most successful dispensaries. She's also the person to know in the smallest state in the union. When she and husband Jerry learned they're about to become grandparents, Liz makes one thing clear. She will not be trading couture for a rocking chair. As she prepares for a new chapter in her family life, shifting dynamics within her inner circle test her influence and the bonds she's long held close.
Mary
Ooh, I really like Liz. I think she's going to be fun to watch. I love that. She also is going to be protecting Kelsey because Kelsey's boyfriend and Liz went to high school together. And obviously Kelsey has a very unconventional relationship with her boyfriend.
Courtney
When Liz wrote in on on the boat, lost her hat on the way, I just was laughing like, oh, my God. This is the rich money we have been missing. Would you like me to read Kelsey's bio to you?
Mary
Yes.
Courtney
Okay. Kelsey Swanson has lived a charmed life as a beauty queen playing house in a castle owned by her wealthy boyfriend. Now at a crossroads, Kelsey must decide between the comfort of her gilded arrangement and a future on her own terms. When her loyalty to Liz is tested, Kelsey worries about going up against the group's heaviest hitter and losing her greatest cheerleader.
Mary
Oh, no. This breaks my heart.
Courtney
I don't like this. Okay.
Mary
Because Kelsey, she is a lady of leisure. She's been with her boyfriend since she was 19. Over 10 years. They live in this crazy mansion. They have four kitchens. They 79 TVs. He got her to win Miss Rhode Island. She was like, he pushed me. I'M sure he also paid for all her dresses.
Courtney
Oh, I thought you meant the competition.
Mary
Oh, got her. I would say, like got her the right training. Giovanni for five months out of the year. He has another girlfriend that lives in Miami. And this seems like very open within the group. Liz clearly knows about this. Jo Ellen knows about this. Nosy Rosie is asking a lot about it. But I think what was refreshing about Kelsey is she lets us know right away what kind of relationship she is in, so you can't really question it. And she's at this crossroads in her life. It kind of almost feels like she has to decide, am I going to stay with him and continue this life or do I want something more for myself? Whether that is her own career, is that having a family? I don't know. But then we also come to find out she has a boyfriend as well. And I have a feeling the man whose house she's living in does not know about the boyfriend.
Courtney
Interesting. Or is it just like a don't ask, don't tell? Because in my fan fiction world, I need to know about this girlfriend in Miami. Do they have the same setup or is the family in Miami? And then he has Kelsey. Are there children involved in the other relationship? If he's five months in Miami and five months in Rhode island, what does he do the other two months? Is there a third? Is Kelsey's boyfriend not the rich one, AKA Big Papa? We'll call him Big Rhode Island Papa. Over here. Is the secret boyfriend. This one's secret too. His face is blurred. Okay. Is the one that she could potentially live her other life with. Is he someone who maybe doesn't come from money and can't afford 79 TVs and 4 kitchens? Is he younger than Kelsey? Is he hot? Would he give her the life of children that she's wanted, but she has to give up the rich lifestyle she lives? Does she choose the lifestyle or does she choose love? Who knows who this other boyfriend is? I just think he's like some younger guy. That's the pool boy that she's kind of running around with. And they live this life where they're like, it would be so fun. But she's like, but who pays for this lifestyle for me, at this point? Are they in a common law marriage? The older boyfriend, because it's been so many years and could she somehow get money out of it to leave the relationship so she would be okay or set up? Can I tell you what I think will happen? Yes, she will stay with the wealthy one.
Mary
Okay. This is getting my brain going. Because if it is the pool guy. Has she slept with the other boyfriend at the rich boyfriend's house?
Courtney
Yeah. I feel like he like, lives in like a casita.
Mary
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I do not think the rich boyfriend who I tried to Google and I couldn't find the man. And I'm very curious. Obviously this will come more to light. Who is he really? Because clearly they have a ton of money.
Courtney
What does he do?
Mary
It sounds like a family business.
Courtney
And I'm like, okay, of what though?
Mary
Right? But when they're in Rhode island, does he go around the town with her? Is he well liked in the community? Liz clearly knows him well. It's just like interesting. I'm shocked he let her do the show. And I'm gonna say there he has no family. I don't think he has kids with someone that he knows. Okay. I, I don't think there's kids involved.
Courtney
Or is this like a Camille Grammer Kelsey grammar situation where he's like, I, oh my God, rid of you. Here's a vehicle for you to make your own money and you can afford a shack down the road.
Mary
Wow.
Courtney
Again, all fanfic. It's been one episode. But I think that Nosy Rosie is going to be asking the questions for. For us and I thank her for that. Would you like to read her bio?
Mary
Oh, Nosy Rosie is definitely the villain. By the way, former Rhode island television news anchor Rosie Demer and her husband Rich are leveling up, trading their cozy over the garage apartment for a sprawling dream house. As Rosie focuses on growing her local lifestyle program, she also faces challenges within her inner circle, leaving her to reassess loyalties and where she finds truly fits in with this evolving close knit group.
Courtney
Over the garage apartment. We were not introduced to that.
Mary
Husband seems very interesting. He is a Frank Sinatra singer, not an impersonator.
Courtney
And you better believe that she corrects people over and over when they say that he has a lot of hobbies that make him money.
Mary
They feel like an interesting couple and seems like she doesn't want to have kids.
Courtney
That's what I was getting that he. Okay, so it sounds like she is the same age as kelsey, like early 30s, and then he's about 10 years older. Like I said, a lot of hobbies. He flips houses with his uncles. He's also a DJ when he's not being frank. So thank God we have the DJ on this show. Every show needs one. How did they meet? Who does he know in the group? Because I feel like she's connected through that. She has a little bit of fame in Rhode island because she has been on the news. It sounds like she might have been the traffic girly letting us know which road are open to get into the city and whatnot. And she said, if somebody older doesn't tell me they like me or that they appreciate me, my day's not made. I think it was either Liz or it was Alicia. And they said, yeah, my stepdad really loves Rosie. And Rosie also has a side gig where she is on YouTube doing a thing called Road Trip and where she seems to feature local places within Rhode Island. Not a lot of views.
Mary
Jo Ellen gave her one extra. She got her 216, which is so
Courtney
kind of Joe Ellen. Rosie seems maybe she's unhappy with where things are in her life a little bit. So she's causing drama everywhere else.
Mary
She is doing a lot of extra work. She is truly the villain. She wants to out Joe Ellen when her and Alicia do the rollerblading bouncy thing.
Courtney
I think it's called Kanga.
Mary
How do you know that?
Courtney
Because there's a class here that offered that as a fitness class.
Mary
Wow.
Courtney
It's like also a little like Moon Booty.
Mary
Okay, okay. But they talk about Joe Ellen being a swinger and a lot of people in the confessionals are talking about Joe Allen. Someone else says that in high school she worked at a tanning salon and was sleeping with the owner and then the wife got involved and they were doing threesomes. Also, Jo Ellen stole her husband from
Courtney
her sister, Lisa Barlow. Watch out.
Mary
I wonder what her relationship is like with her sister today. Was her sister in her wedding?
Courtney
That is a great question. Also, it sounds like too from the previews, potentially her sister and her husband got together while Jo Ellen and her husband were together. Let's read Jo Ellen's daughter bio here. So Joellen Tibery may not be known for cooking dinner, but she's never short on spilling tea. When sensitive information involving Rula's marriage circulates within the group, Jo Ellen finds herself caught between honesty and discretion. Unresolved issues with her mother resurface, forcing her to confront long buried childhood wounds and reckon with the personal cost of always being the one who tells it like it is. Joellen, to me is someone who has changed who she is over the years and it sounds like she might have been a little bit wild. And because she didn't have a mother's love as she might claim at some point in this season, it really made her potentially Destructive or something was going on there. And now she's trying to fix those problems and really give a facade of this intimidating, strong woman that she is like kind of queen of the castle where it feels like Liz is naturally queen and then Joellen might be trying to be queen.
Mary
I'd agree with that. But I am obsessed with Jo Ellen. I love her. I think she is self deprecating. I love that she just right away said if someone says don't tell anyone, I'm just gonna tell my three best friends. And then I'm gonna tell them not to tell anyone and they tell someone. I can't control that, you know.
Courtney
Exactly.
Mary
Her and her husband seem like they have an interesting relationship. They seem like that wild things happen. But then at one point when they're having oysters, she's like, thank you for loving me and tolerating me. She does try to present. I'm doing it all. She's working full time, but she likes to make her own money. She has the three kids. I'm in the pta, but I'm basically going to get sprinkle cookies and I dump it in a container to make it look like I made them myself. So I feel like she has a
Courtney
lot going on as a teacher. Mary, when you guys would do bake sales, isn't the thing that you have to have store bought now so that you can see the ingredients on what it is? Because there's so many allergies with kids these days, it is helpful.
Mary
Yes.
Courtney
I think Joellen is putting on a front and I feel like we're going to see things crumble with her. I did like her energy though. It's obvious that they have money. She's got a lot that she's battling with her mom. She has to pay her mom to watch her kids. The mom doesn't even put them to get to bed at the right time. She also though is very well connected in the group and I'm not sure why she doesn't like Rosie, but it might be because Rosie's a prior and is prying in and I'd like to discuss this, but let's take a break and then let's dive into why we think that
Mary
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Mary
I was looking up Joanne Ellen's Instagram and she looked so familiar. I'm like, were you a contestant on the Bachelor?
Courtney
There's something so Familiar. I totally agree. She also kind of reminds me of a blonde version of the Maga Housewife on Netflix, the Ramona one. And I can't think of what her name is, but it's. I think it's because she has big teeth. As she said, she. A smile. She really does look so familiar. And I cannot put my finger on it of who she is. I'm hoping that like once an episode or two airs that everybody be like, oh, she's obviously this person. And then we'll like make it easy because it's one of those like, tip of your tongue people. Like, it's right there and I can't figure out who it is.
Mary
Oh, her sister was in her wedding.
Courtney
Oh, good.
Mary
Oh, good. On On October 26, 2016, she wrote Happy Birthday to her two incredible sisters. Oh, are her sisters twins?
Courtney
What if she's like, I just want to do one birthday post a year for them. She's just, you know, whatever. Then it's like, wait, which did both twins hook up with? Gary.
Mary
I think she's on very good terms with her sister because you can go on her sister Jen's page and Joellen's on it a bunch of even promoting New Jersey Housewives.
Courtney
New Jersey Housewives.
Mary
This is New Jersey. I'm sorry, it's gonna be bad for me.
Courtney
I totally agree because especially if we want to talk about Alicia. Alicia was the one that was giving me such Jersey vibes when we first meet her because it was like she had her family coming over. Here is the old school Jersey nostalgia. I'll read her bio. Alicia Carmody is kick starting her boss babe era, pushing her way into her fiance Billy's popular restauran pizza mama. A proud self described flip flopper, Alicia might call you a hora one minute and pull you into a hug the next. When Alicia opens the vault on her past, she is faced with navigating long standing relationships and personal growth that leaves one lifelong friend completely blindsided.
Mary
What is gonna happen there? That's a shocking bio. Her and Billy have been engaged for nine years. They have Selena together. Selena is her mini me. It's very Dina and Lexi to me. They both love Britney Spears. They have a handshake together, they go shopping together. It's. It's very, very sweet. But is she ever gonna get this happily ever after?
Courtney
Does she want it? Maybe she's already in her happily ever after when they say like, oh, she's pushing her way into her fiance Billy's restaurant. Like, it's been like 10 years at this point, she's on the wall. She wants to do a new photo because that was so old for her. I love, though, that she has six aunts. Everyone's coming over, but it's all the girl cousins. Billy is the man of the house. They've moved really far away from the aunts, so it's like they are traveling like one of the answers. Drinking a flask because this ride is 15 minutes long, 15 from Cranston, Rhode island, to Providence, Rhode island, where they now reside. And it is 2 far. I picture her family all living on houses on a cul de sac. All us sister wives in Las Vegas. Alicia left, and they're like, this is crazy. 15 minutes in a car. I can't do this.
Mary
No, they. These aunts are gonna be great. They're gonna replace my. No, no fix. I loved them all.
Courtney
I just thought it was so funny because, you know, that they were like, okay, we are gonna have a family dinner. The daughter singing Deck the Halls. Because the last time that Alicia has set a table was Christma that we're at 4th of July now. We've got to wear our best dresses. We're wearing our heels. Hair done. Nails done. Teeth done. Face done. We're coming to the nines because this is our big break. Alicia's on a show. We're gonna do it. And it was just, like, cracking me up because they're like, you're too far. Let's build you a mansion back at home. It's like 15 minutes. Oh, they are gonna be fun. I want to watch this family together because they are giving me such a such silly vibes. What I was worried about when I was watching this show was I had heard that there was drama about one of these relationships ending and potentially divorce because it was, like, going south. And as I watched this episode, I got so nervous because I was loving all the dynamics with their partners, even if they weren't on screen a la Miami man. I don't want any of these relationships to end. And it's a good thing to know that Rula is going to come in in the future, and she's apparently the one whose husband might be having an affair on her. And knowing that, that made me feel okay.
Mary
Because you want all of these people to stay with their current spouses.
Courtney
I do. They seem like they were in caring relationships and that they were happy with the status quo. And so it did worry me to think, oh, God, is it Frank Sinatra guy? I don't want to see that. I, like Billy is He gonna break up with her. Not pizza mama. You know, all these things I got so nervous about. And then I was like, what about Ashley, Jared?
Mary
Oh, my God. So that's why I was very worried about this show because I don't like Ashley. I, I loved her. I thought she immediately was vulnerable. She's showing cracks in their marriage. She's showing. It's very hard. They have Audrey's. They have the number two celebrity restaurant in the world, guys, Audrey's, where you can get a delicious turtle made by Jared himself because he is there a hundred hours a week. That is 14 hour days. And Audrey is the other woman for Ashley eye. She just wants to see the man smile. And I think at the end of the day she was telling us, I'm actually the breadwinner. And he can't take that. I understand what he's doing. He wants something outside of social media when the reality TV shows end. He wants a backup. But it feels like Audrey's is not the backup they need for the money because it's not making any.
Courtney
So Mary and I did look this up on celebrity owned restaurants and we did not find them on the list of anything as number two. There was a People magazine article from 2023 that ranked them at number five behind Bad Bunny, Martha Stewart, Nicholas Braun and Michael Imperioli from White Lotus Sopranos frame fame. Now Ashley I, if you're wondering, is she the same person from the Bachelor? She is. Because she does start crying this episode. There are tears in this episode from Ashley I, who is the queen of crying. I don't think Jared is jealous that she's the breadwinner. She's our little Amanda Francis. She's making the influencer money. From what I can also recall from the Bachelor days is a really hands on type of of guy. I feel like he, it comes from like humble beginnings. He's just a guy who likes the patriots. He's from Rhode Island. He just wants to have something. Like you said, if this money were to end tomorrow, what would we have? And if you're telling me that you're the number two or number five, number two celebrity restaurant in America, how are you not making decent money to be able to do that? Then I also question, are you number two? Also because the celebrity needs to be there is part of the fame that you go to Audrey's hoping that you run into Jared.
Mary
Well, I think you might because he's there 14 hours a day.
Courtney
They have two young children, so she probably feels a lot of weight of taking care of the kids and having to raise them. And he's not always present. He's not even present in this conversation. He's yelling, Jason, you guys. Tim. Ellen. And she's like, I'm just trying to make you smile, Jared.
Mary
I was shocked out of the gate, them revealing so much. I. It was very refreshing.
Courtney
Okay, so you were in. So would you like me to read her bio?
Mary
Yes.
Courtney
Fresh from finding her Prince Charming on television, influencer and former Bachelor personality Ashley Ayakonetti quickly learns that life after I do isn't as blissful as she imagined. Between raising young children, adjusting to life in Rhode island, and co owning a struggling cafe with her husband Jared, Ashley's loyalties are tested when Rosie claims she never has her back. Nosy Rosie strikes again.
Mary
And Ashley has a podcast.
Courtney
She has one with Ben Higgins, I think a former Bachelor. That's why I'm wondering what's the level of success for her? Is it influencing where she's like, maybe we don't spend as much time doing sponsored posts or versus, like, you're spending a lot of hours at Audrey's and you're not home because of it. If we're going to go hourly wage here, like, you make way more influencing than you do at coffee shops.
Mary
It seems like it's something he doesn't want to give up. And it feels like it might be time because it's been open for about four years. I wonder if it's emasculating for him that she makes more money than him.
Courtney
We have to ask Amanda Francis's husband how he feels about it. For some reason, she seems like she's from money. She doesn't seem like she's actually going to bring that much drama to this show. Maybe in her own marriage.
Mary
I feel like her thing is going to be like she doesn't feel connected in the group because she's not from Rhode Island. And I guess she brought so much drama to the Bachelor because she was always crying, but she was always crying because she didn't feel like enough, which is kind of the theme in this show. She's not going to feel like enough of a friend or enough being accepted into the group because she's not from Rhode Island.
Courtney
We're going to meet Rula, I think, next week, which I could just read her bio if we want to make some snap judgments on her.
Mary
Yeah, absolutely.
Courtney
Grounded in tradition and guided by faith, Rula puts family above all else. Proud of her Lebanese roots, she brings deeply held values into the group, especially when it comes to marriage. When rumors about her husband begin to circulate, Rula is forced to confront uncomfortable questions that challenge her beliefs, resilience and commitment, putting her personal life under an unrelenting spotlight. So it seems like she's bringing the drama.
Mary
I think so. I don't like it when we don't meet everyone the first episode. I think that's unfair.
Courtney
I also don't like that Dolores has a bio here.
Mary
I am very upset that they feel like she needed to be included. It's not necessary. These women have enough stories to tell. I agree.
Courtney
Friend and familiar face Dolores Catania leaves the Jersey Shore behind to spend the summer in Rhode island with her close friend Liz McGraw. Together, the two embark on a new entrepreneurial venture, a menopause gummy brand while soaking up some sun, fun and a little drama along the way.
Mary
Not necessary. Annoyed.
Courtney
Let's take a break and then let's come back and talk about Rosie's road trip and Picnic.
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Mary
Rosie is doing her segment for road tripping R H O D E like Rhode island. And she decides to invite Jo Ellen, Ashley I and Alicia and Ashley. I knows one thing about these Rhode island people and they love a Dunkin. So she brings the donuts and they get to enjoy a charcuterie plate made by the chief salami officer.
Courtney
I love that handle. Ashley's not wrong. They really do love their Duncan's back there. You don't even go anywhere else. It's Duncan or bust. I love Duncan too. I always. I had my dunkin coffee, my French vanilla K cup this morning.
Mary
I love a big giant Duncan, like 32 ounce iced coffee.
Courtney
Oh, nothing better. Nothing but nothing better. So Rosie's invited Joellen. We're unclear. She's gonna be nice to her. I still can't figure out why they don't like each other. Maybe it literally is because she's nosy rosy. All of a sudden she starts kind of having drama with Joellen. They talk about Kelsey first, but I wanted to talk about this because all of a sudden it's like Margot from Ladies of London. She just kind of like snaps in a way. You know what, I invited you because I was trying. I'm like, wait, what even happened here?
Mary
I was very confused and I feel like Jo Ellen hosted this party night, which is unclear if it was on camera or not. I'm guessing it Wasn't okay. And at that party, Jo Ellen's talking shit on Rosie, and Rosie hears it, so she's really upset with her about that. And. And she basically has decided to come after her, in my opinion, but then is playing the damsel in distress. Meanwhile, she's already outed. Jo Ellen is a swinger. She wants to know more about Kelsey's relationship, calling her a polygamous. They all play like, never have I ever.
Courtney
Never have ever. At 2 in the afternoon with one. With one bottle of champagne split between four girls. And then, like, a thing of Duncan and a charcuterie plate is a wild play face to be playing. Never have I ever.
Mary
Because Rosie's like, well, does Kelsey have two boyfriends? And you can see Jo Ellen's like, oh, no, no, no. I'm not gonna get set up here. I do not want to be involved in this. And I think Joe Ellen knows that Kelsey does have two boyfriends. I think everyone openly knows that her boyfriend also has another relationship in Miami, but people don't know about this other guy that she has.
Courtney
You asked earlier, like, is the boyfriend well known in the Rhode island community? I'm thinking yes, because based on the castle, if everyone is like, oh, no. Like, you don't disrespect big Papa. That's the thing. And Joellen's like, well, why don't you just ask her? I'm not gonna get involved in this. I'll tell you that. I've done butt stuff and threesomes, but I'm not gonna tell you about the polygamist. Okay? That's where I draw the line. All right? And Alicia's, like, egging it on too, because Alicia and Rosie are buddies, and they're like, we're gonna, like, push this. And then, like, I have five fingers still up. I just asked Ashley if she's ever cried. She has to put all of her fingers down. She's kind of like a Britney Cartwright, you know? It's like, always like Disney princesses. Like, that's where I get the vibe of Ashley. I.
Mary
You're totally right.
Courtney
And then, like, Rosie just starts crying. Joel's like, okay, well, let's just start over after she tells her to shut the upper up.
Mary
Well, and Rosie said you said that not even children would like me. And Joellen doesn't deny that.
Courtney
Well, she said, I didn't say that to your face. I talk behind your back like a normal person. Like, are you out of your mind? Shut the up. You're trying to turn everyone against me.
Mary
I'M very curious why Rosie has. Has, I think, decided she's gonna be the villain.
Courtney
I don't think she thinks she's being the villain, though. I think she wants to expose people for exactly who they are. And I think she's like, oh, Joelle. And you're not going to put up this front. Oh, Kelsey, you're not gonna hide your secret relationship. We're gonna be on this show. She's there to make a point, and she'll turn on whoever because I think she's so wanting the star power that she's like, oh, if I involve myself in with everyone, then I can be able to make something happen.
Mary
I do not like her at all.
Courtney
Oh, okay. Interesting. I. I mean, Jo Ellen's just like, you know what? Let's just, like, move past this. Okay? You can come to my fourth of July party.
Mary
That was very nice of her to invite her to the 4th of July party. If you ask me, it's a cast party.
Courtney
I do want to comment on Rosie's outfit here, though, because Rosie is wearing a floral sleeveless baby pink peplum tube top with white bike shorts that have ruffles on the bottom of was spit
Mary
out of the 90s and disgusting. It was awful. It was horrible. I hated it. It was so bad. When she came out and she had changed, I'm like, that's what you're wearing on camera. No, no, no, no, no. And you're gonna be filmed twice for Road Trippin and this TV show. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Courtney
The Ozempic was Ozempicing. She tells us she's taken it and she had to fast all day. When she was doing another episode of Road Trippin, the guy's like, really?
Mary
I appreciate someone being honest on a GLP1.
Courtney
Let's go to the 4th of July party because this is the big event. And then I'm thinking like, oh, it's actually on 4th of July. I miss real holidays. Oh, my God, this is happening. And then we've got got summer house also happening on fourth of July.
Mary
Oh, so true.
Courtney
The houses are a rockin.
Mary
What did you think about Rosie's gift? She brought fireworks and a $60 bottle of champagne because she had previously gone to her house and only spent $6 on wine.
Courtney
And it was shit. I think the fireworks bouquet is dangerous. Fireworks scare me 100. Like, I'm okay with the sparkler, but even the baby ones that shoot off. Like, the ER is one of the most popular destinations on a Fourth of July because somebody is shot off A hand or something like that. It's very scary. I also think a lot of times alcohol is involved. I just. If I got that, I would throw it away.
Mary
Yeah. It's a. Feels like a dangerous gift.
Courtney
I know, right?
Mary
Yes.
Courtney
Would you eat a caviar wiener?
Mary
Absolutely. I would love to try it. Would you?
Courtney
I mean, Lisa, Rinna, and Erica would be chomping at the bit one time a year, and they get caviar on top.
Mary
Bethany Frankel would be all over this.
Courtney
Oh, she. And she'd say, she invented it, but she's like, actually, though, I don't use the bun. I wrap it in lettuce, and then I put a rice paper around it, and then I put a. See, we just to really crunch it
Mary
up and dollop it with cottage cheese at the end. Supermodel snack.
Courtney
Yeah, exactly. The rumor is going around that Kelsey has been being talked about. Right. And she's got to go to the different sources because Joellen's telling her, hey, you know, they're questioning your relationship. Start some drama. It's the 4th of July, and I'm not lighting real fireworks, but I want these fireworks to go off with the fights. I know.
Mary
And Kelsey is, like, very sensitive. She starts crying before she's gonna go confront her. Dolores is like, so what's going on here? What? Fill me in, ladies. And that's why I think I was really turned off by this situation. She doesn't need to be there. It was distracting.
Courtney
It felt like almost like we have to figure out how to include Dolores in this. We don't need to. Does Kelsey kind of remind you of Chrishell looks wise from selling Sunset? Um, that's a no. Okay. First she goes up to Alicia because Kelsey and Joellen have decided that Alicia is, like, ditzy, but Rosie is calculated. So you got to go to the first source to see what's going on and test the waters. And Alicia's stuff in her face with the cookies.
Mary
That was hysterical.
Courtney
Five cookies look delicious. And she's like, what happened? At first I was like, I don't remember Alicia being a part of this, but she was. But I think, like, Alicia kind of of, like, pushes to the side. Like, doesn't really say anything. Like, go talk to Kelsey.
Mary
Kelsey confronts Rosie, and Rosie's reactions. You know, what happened at the picnic. Should I know anything? She's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. What do you mean? And I just love someone that denies it from the get go. Like, she's like, I don't Recall anything? No.
Courtney
You say out loud what you think it is that did happen so that you can talk about your relationship. And then I'll comment on. And then, not only that, she goes, oh, your relationship. Joellen brought it up. Joellen brought up that you were going through a hard time. And I said, huh, Whatever do you mean by hard time? And then it was inferred about your relationship.
Mary
And then at this Joellen, it comes over to them and is like, come on, girls, it's time for the sparklers. And Rosie's like, sounds good. Bye.
Courtney
Just gonna skip away from this one. Like, okay, we started this fight. Let's have a feud another day. A couple days later. It'll be fine. Ashley, I. She. She's not really involved in the fourth of July party, even though she's there. But she's like, there are big secrets in this group. Cheating, lies, and the truth will come out. And that was an extended premiere episode.
Mary
10 out of 10 for me. I'm obsessed. Jo Ellen, I hope she continues to rise. I'm scared because I really, really like her. I don't know why, but I love her and I want nosy Rosie to be taken down.
Courtney
Oh, there's something about Joellen. I feel like Liz is the star, but I do worry that Dolores might carry her down. But Jo Ellen, it's because I know that there's going to be a lot of drama with Jo Ellen that she's going to have. Her second season will be very interesting just based on one episode here, but I'm like, she's got a lot of skeletons. The girls are going to come for her, but she's going to persevere.
Mary
But don't you think her husband knows about all her skeletons?
Courtney
Yeah, it's not her husband. It's us.
Mary
Right?
Courtney
Like the things that you don't want the whole world to know, but everybody in small town Rhode island, they know it all.
Mary
I just loved it. There's real money here, real drama, real friendships. It's gonna be great.
Courtney
Yep. Overall, great episode. Welcome to Bravo, Rhode island, and we're so glad to have you.
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Date: April 3, 2026
Hosts: Courtney (LA) & Mary (Bay Area)
Courtney and Mary dive into the much-anticipated premiere of Bravo’s newest franchise, The Real Housewives of Rhode Island. With fresh faces, authentic drama, and sparkling new dynamics, the hosts break down the cast, relationships, key scenes, and their initial reactions. This episode leans into both playful critique and enthusiastic cheerleading, bringing their signature “judgey” yet affectionate analysis to every detail of the debut.
“Honestly, it really was a 10.” (04:17, Mary)
“There’s this level that they almost think they know what the game of reality TV is, and they’re going to be humbled by not knowing it.” (05:39, Courtney)
“They've known each other for 20 years. People went to high school together. It just felt…fresh.” (04:23, Mary)
“We did not need Dolores in this. I think that is not giving the girls enough credit.” (06:47, Mary)
“She gave me such big Ang vibes from Mob Wives.” (07:49, Courtney)
“Is it just like a don’t ask, don’t tell? …If he's five months in Miami and five months in Rhode Island, what does he do the other two months?” (11:52, Courtney)
“Oh, Nosy Rosie is definitely the villain. By the way…” (14:57, Mary)
“If someone says don’t tell anyone, I’m just gonna tell my three best friends…” (19:12, Mary)
“These aunts are gonna be great. …They're gonna replace my ‘No No Fix’.” (26:58, Mary)
“Ashley I, if you're wondering, is she the same person from the Bachelor? She is. Because she does start crying this episode.” (29:47, Courtney)
“She said, I didn’t say that to your face. I talk behind your back like a normal person.” (41:25, Courtney)
Central group event, with lots of classic Housewives traditions: Champagne, caviar hot dogs (“caviar wieners”), and group drama.
Kelsey wants answers on who’s spreading rumors about her relationship; Rosie masterfully deflects blame back to Jo Ellen.
Charity sparklers (fireworks) and gift commentary (“dangerous gift!”).
Memorable quotes:
“Would you eat a caviar wiener?”
“Absolutely. I would love to try it. Would you?” (44:31, Mary/Courtney)
Kelsey breaks down in tears at confrontation, showing emotional stakes are real from the start.
“There’s real money here, real drama, real friendships. It’s gonna be great.” (48:30, Mary)
Verdict: "10 out of 10 for me. I’m obsessed." (47:35, Mary)
"Welcome to Bravo, Rhode Island. We’re so glad to have you." (48:37, Courtney)
This summary provides a comprehensive, timestamped breakdown of key moments and quotes, while retaining the hosts’ fun, judgey tone—perfect for anyone wanting to catch up or assess whether to jump into The Real Housewives of Rhode Island themselves.