TJG: The Valley S3 E13!

Summary

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Two Judgey Girls: The Valley S3 E13!

Date: June 25, 2026
Hosts: Courtney (LA) & Mary (Bay Area)

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Courtney and Mary dive into the latest drama from The Valley Season 3, Episode 13, focusing on the cast’s trip to Mexico. The predominant theme is group dysfunction and relentless conflict, with nearly every storyline centered around ongoing fights, unresolved issues, and cast dynamics spinning further out of control. The hosts dissect the episode’s lack of fun, the inescapable Danny drama, shifting alliances, and the potential future cast shakeups they crave. There are key moments of reflection on what makes reality TV engaging and what drags it down, all delivered in their signature blunt, comedic style.

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Main Topics & Key Insights

1. Personal Catch-Up & Listener Feedback

• Courtney’s World Cup Excursion: Courtney shares her excitement about flying to watch a France vs. Norway World Cup game. She describes juggling friend group allegiances and being cheekily defiant about soccer jerseys.
  • Quote, Courtney (06:02): "I'm literally going to the game and coming home. That’s crazy... You gotta take advantage while you can."
• Podcaster Lives Collide: Mary mentions upcoming travel to LA, setting the casual, chatty tone.
• Feedback About "Kenny": Listeners dislike the hosts’ positive take on Kenny from And Just Like That..., but Mary and Courtney defend their opinions, humorously asking fans to "let them have this" at least for one season.
  • Quote, Courtney (09:22): "Will he disappoint? Probably. They always do. It’s a job. It's part of being a man is disappointment. Okay, but let us have it right now."

2. Opening Thoughts: The Valley’s Group Dysfunction

• Mexico Trip=One Giant Fight: Both hosts are baffled by the relentless fighting and absence of enjoyment among the cast, even during what's supposed to be a fun getaway.
  • Quote, Courtney (10:00): "Like, have freaking fun, you guys. Where’s the fun? Did you leave it in a checked baggage and it’s at the airport?"
• Cast Standouts (or Not): Courtney singles out Kya and Michelle as the only somewhat likable cast members, with the rest derided using Kristen Doute’s infamous phrase: "suck my dick."
• Recurring Frustration: The ongoing Danny drama dominates and frustrates the hosts, including social media spats, “cucking/cuckolding” accusations, and a dysfunctional drinking game-turned-blowup.

3. Social Media Fights & the Danny Dilemma (10:45–19:00)

• Schwartz-a-palooza Bust: The group’s failed attempt at organized fun leads to more in-fighting upstairs, starting with Lala challenging Danny about online behaviors.
• The Cuckolding Conversation: The group gets stuck on the meaning of “cucking,” creating more confusion and mockery.
• Instagram Likes as Weapons: Janet brings out receipts of Danny’s social media likes that disparage her, escalating the situation.
  • Quote, Mary (14:27, quoting from the episode): "You got some brown left on your lips from licking Jax’s asshole, you fucking cock."
• Zach’s Meltdown: After excessive drinking, Zach explodes and has to be calmed by Tom, illustrating the volatility in the group.

4. Analysis: Why the Group’s Dysfunction Is Stuck

• Both Sides Annoying: The hosts analyze how both “teams” in the group are stuck defending themselves instead of caring about the original harmed parties (Jasmine and Melissa).
  • Quote, Courtney (16:21): "At the crux of it, you are the problem here. Now Janet, in a quest to be right, went too hard on it."
• Danny & Nia’s Flawed Defenders: There’s special scorn reserved for those like Kristen who blindly defend Danny and Nia—Mary and Courtney suggest it’s a strategy to oust Janet.
• Survivor Vibes: Courtney jokes about the group acting like they’re in Survivor or an "alliance meeting," planning Janet’s reality TV downfall.

5. Exhaustion With the Same Old Drama

• Stuck in a Loop: Conflicts, particularly about Danny’s past behaviors and Janet’s response, monopolize screentime season after season.
• No Resolution: The repetitive nature leaves the hosts ready for a cast refresh but still unable to look away.
  • Quote, Courtney (24:47): “We like conflict. And somebody put this on our thread—we like resolution. You cannot have conflict without an ending. This is so annoying. This is now the third season we're talking about this because there's nothing to talk about outside of Jax."

6. Cast Behavior Critiques and Aftermath

• Danny & Nia: Their “perfect couple” image is called out as fake and corrosive.
• Nia’s Loyalty: Nia is seen as forced to take up Danny’s battles, possibly due to pressure from him, as evidenced by her more combative stance even on the girls’ shopping trip.
• Kristen’s Downfall: Once an experienced reality star, she’s “tanking the show in defense of Danny.”
• Janet as the Odd One Out: Janet is depicted as continually outnumbered yet formidable, with a notes app and “receipts” for everyone.

7. Producers’ POV & The Need for a Cast Shakeup (38:00–end)

• No Comedic Relief: The group has become so toxic and humorless that the fun of reality TV is missing, making it less enjoyable (yet still addictive viewing).
• Who Should Leave? Both agree that Danny and Nia should likely exit for the show’s health.
  • Quote, Courtney (38:02): “Who do you get rid of?”
  • Mary (38:07): “It's gotta be Dan and Nia.”
• Who Should Join? The hosts fantasize about adding Sheena, Brock, and Tom Sandoval for fresh drama and “desperation to be on camera.” Also speculate about bringing in a school mom for extra intrigue tied to Lala and Sheena (39:06–39:32).

8. Reflection on Why They Keep Watching

• Can’t Quit Vanderpumpers: Despite their frustrations, Courtney and Mary admit to being hooked on the show’s ongoing, if maddening, mess.
  • Quote, Courtney (41:42): “I can't stop. It's like a bad ex-boyfriend you keep going back to, but I'm going weekly.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• On group dysfunction:
  • Courtney (10:00): "Did you leave it in a checked baggage and it’s at the airport? Where is the fun? I’m not having fun. I torture myself weekly."
• On supporting Kenny:
  • Courtney (09:22): "Will he disappoint? Probably. They always do. It’s part of being a man is disappointment."
• On why they’re frustrated with these storylines:
  • Mary (17:29): “They’ve all just made it about themselves in some way... They’re all just selfish.”
  • Courtney (24:47): "We like conflict. And... we like resolution. You cannot have conflict without an ending. This is so annoying."
• On what the cast actually wants:
  • Courtney (33:06): "I’ve realized, though, that this group doesn’t want to solve problems. They just want to create them."
• On Janet's resilience:
  • Courtney (34:33): "At this point, I’m rooting for Janet to stay on for 45 seasons just to piss them off because they can’t get rid of her."
• On potential future cast:
  • Courtney (38:19): "I’m gonna stand by it. Sheena and Brock gotta come on next season."
  • Mary (39:07): "Is it Rand’s ex-wife that comes on because they have the podcast together?"
• On the show’s addictive chaos:
  • Courtney (41:42): "I can’t stop. It’s like a bad ex boyfriend you keep going back to, but I’m going weekly."

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Episode Timeline: Important Segments

• 05:17–07:25: Personal catch-up, World Cup chat, feedback on "Kenny"
• 08:07–10:29: Listener reactions, starting The Valley discussion
• 10:49–19:00: Mexico trip meltdowns, Instagram like drama, drinking games, Zach’s explosion
• 19:00–24:47: Broader group analysis, Danny & Nia's defenders, failed attempts at reconciliation
• 24:47–27:19: No resolution, Janet vs. the group, why the drama never ends
• 27:19–34:33: Shopping trip showdown, Nia's behavior, group complaints about Janet and drinking
• 34:33–36:25: Team divisions, Janet’s role, Schwartz’s avoidance
• 36:30–38:02: Predictions for future episodes/season, possible reactions
• 38:02–41:42: Dream cast shakeups, what could save the show, reflections on why they keep tuning in

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Closing Thoughts

This episode of Two Judgey Girls perfectly captures the exhaustion and fascination viewers feel with The Valley’s endlessly chaotic group dynamics. Courtney and Mary combine scathing critique ("everyone is not all right"), humor, and real insight into why the show both infuriates and compels them. They advocate for major cast changes (bring in Sheena, Brock, and even Tom Sandoval!) and remind listeners that, dysfunctional as it is, reality TV like The Valley keeps pulling them back with the promise of maybe next week serving the fun and resolution they crave.

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Next week: Will the group finally move forward, or are more blowups looming? And—did Courtney extend her trip for more World Cup drama?
Favorite callback:
Courtney & Mary (41:46):
"We're all right. Everything is all right."

Transcript

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[Mary]

Welcome back to two Judgy Girls. This is Mary from the Bay and

[Courtney]

it's Courtney from la. Mary, how you doing?

[Mary]

I'm all right. Everything is all right.

[Courtney]

Wow, that sounded really good. No, I'm serious. That was like really good.

[Mary]

Your turn.

[Courtney]

Okay, ask me then.

[Mary]

Courtney, how you doing?

[Courtney]

Thank you so much for asking. I'm all right. Everything is all right.

[Mary]

Well, everything is all right because Courtney, you are off to boss. You are going to a World cup game. Tell us all about that.

[Courtney]

I'm going to the France Norway game. Depending on when you listen to this Friday, I'm literally going to the game and coming home. That's crazy. But when do you get to say you go to a World cup game? You know, you gotta take advantage while you can. So I'm very excited. The problem is, obviously it's like Team usa. Like, I get that. But like, the problem is, is I'm going with my friend and he is like a big France fan. And so I will be wearing France jersey for him. However, as you can see here I am wearing my ass bun and they're playing Norway, which, like, Holland has a ass bun. And he is this like amazing 65 like beast, just like striker. And so I'm also rooting for him, but I think I'm just going to be defiant and maybe wear a ass bun so, like, my friend doesn't realize it because I'm like, going to be rooting for both.

[Mary]

Okay, I love this for you because I think you represents Norway, but he will be in the France jersey. I think it's right.

[Courtney]

And I'll also be wearing like red, white and blue jersey because like France colors, but also that's for America. And so I'm just like being super defiant in the place where the tea party happened.

[Mary]

Too bad you're not staying till Sunday and can't go to Capos.

[Courtney]

I mean, look, am I also like, guys, what if we changed our flight and I didn't get no's? Stay tuned.

[Mary]

I mean, you could easily come back on Sunday.

[Courtney]

We have a busy week next week. Believe me, I've already been. I've been propositioned to come to other places while on the east coast. I said, no, I cannot work calls, Mary calls. I need to be with my tjg.

[Mary]

I'm going down to LA next week for a day.

[Courtney]

Yeah, it's gonna be so fun. But let's talk a little bit before we get into the Valley because we released our in the city pod yesterday and people don't like that. We think Kenny is hot. And they're like, he's gonna disappoint you. And I said, give me one season, you guys. Let me have this. I like him.

[Mary]

And then people are pretending that this whole finding his dad thing is fake. And for the TV cameras and the half brother is stepping in and it's all BS And Kenny is just a Nice guy for right now. And he's hot. Sorry.

[Courtney]

Let us have this. Okay. And, you know, the half brother stepping into him like, this is, like, so awkward because it should be off of social media. But then, like, Kenny responds back, and they have their own thing, and that's all family stuff. But I'm like, I stand with Kenny also.

[Mary]

The half brother's like, yeah, Kenny reached out to me because he was trying to find my dad, and I didn't know him. And Kenny said He hired a P.I. and I said, if you find anything, let me know. And that was the end of the conversation.

[Courtney]

I don't know that Kenny's doing it for a storyline, even though he is putting it on camera. The reconciliation, the calls, et cetera.

[Taryn]

Right.

[Mary]

But I don't think it was Kenny's job to tell the half brother. He's the one that did all the work. And if the half brother had reached out and said, hey, did you end up finding anything? I think Kenny would have said, I did, and here's the info and you can do now. Yeah.

[Courtney]

So just, you know, we stand with Kenny for now.

[Mary]

You sure do.

[Courtney]

Will he disappoint? Probably. They always do. It's a job. It's part of being a man is disappointment. Okay, but let us have it right now, because if we want to talk about disappointing men, they're all on the

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Valley,

[Courtney]

Every single one of them. Thank God Jason's patella is fucked up and he's not on this episode because I don't care.

[Mary]

I. Jason, this entire episode is a fight. One giant fight. There was no fun. We're in Mexico, for God's sakes.

[Courtney]

Like, have freaking fun, you guys. Where's the fun? Did you leave it in a checked baggage and it's at the airport where the is the fun? I'm not having fun. I torture myself weekly. Yeah, I can't stop talking about it. So I'm. I'm the problem. But, like, I can't stop. Where's the fun?

[Mary]

Courtney kept on texting me. She was like, the only person I like on this cast is Kya.

[Courtney]

Okay, well, when Kaya was seeing that bottle, I said, oh, I've given that look before. Oh, I have done that myself. It was like, someone's hungry and someone's getting fed, and she is the only likable cast member. I'm gonna give Michelle, too. I really like Michelle. Everyone else, in the words of Kristen Doute, suck my dick.

[Mary]

It was a tough episode. So Schwartzapalooza, total bust. They all end up going Upstairs. And Lala, you know, she's the straw that stirs the drink because she basically starts going at Danny, and she sets it up perfectly. As Jesse says, they've traveled all day. He's had a perfect amount of cocktails. Lala's like, are you ever going to forgive? And Danny's like, I already have. And Lalo's like, no, you.

[Taryn]

You really haven't.

[Mary]

You know, you're liking things on social media that are disparaging about Janet. And then she goes into the definition of cuckolding. I don't even know how to say that. Have you ever heard of this?

[Courtney]

It was cucking at first, but then, you know, even Google didn't recognize and said cooking. Yeah, I mean, haven't you heard? Like, you're a cuckoo?

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[Courtney]

Oh, okay. I literally was like, you guys have never heard that? That's so weird. I guess I just hang out in more progressive groups.

[Mary]

No, I've never heard of this. Then Danny's like, oh, yeah, I actually have, like, some things on social media. And Janet gets up and is like, have you seen it? You know, she has the screenshot and she's ticked. And then Danny can't really get out of this one, but then he starts taking it out on Lala, and he's like, why are you squaring up with me? And then it's just like. It just like fights on fights on fights. Because then Britney gets involved, and I

[Courtney]

was like, teddy bear moomoo.

[Mary]

I was like, there is too many fights happening. And then Zach and Jasmine start going at each other, and I was just like, what is going on? And then Zach truly did lose it.

[Courtney]

The problem here is, like, okay, they're all upstairs because Schwartz Palooza sucked because there's no fun in this group. And so Janet's like, I'm gonna do some fun. Let's play a drinking game. Danny said, what are we doing here? What are we doing here?

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[Courtney]

So freaking annoying. And so he starts the whole thing of going downhill. It's like, just have some organized fun and go to bed. Okay. Make it a drinking game. Do whatever you want, Danny.

[Mary]

But he's also not allowed to play the drink game, obviously. He's like, oh, I'm. I'm not gonna play. I'm not gonna play. But he is drinking, though.

[Courtney]

He's drinking at this point.

[Mary]

No, I know, but I think this was different. He wasn't gonna play a drinking game.

[Courtney]

Oh, you felt like you were setting him up?

[Mary]

Yeah, yeah, No, I. I think he was Like, I'm not taking that bait.

[Courtney]

Oh, I didn't think it was that at all. I think they were just literally trying something to do because nothing was happening. And also, don't play the drinking game, but have to stop everyone from playing the drinking game. And he always goes into Schwartz because Schwartz is his drinking buddy and the only one that'll like, outwardly drink with him. So he's like, tom, what are we doing here? What are we doing here? Then once Lala brings all that up, it's like, are you guys effing idiots? Don't answer that because we already know the answer is yes. Get a fin. I'm sorry, I'm going into West Wilson mode of using fudge right now. But get a fin. If you want to like shady shit, go like it under a fake name. Okay? Of course you're doing it because you know it's going to be seen. So don't play the game that you're like, oh, I'm triggered. Oh, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, oh, I didn't know that. When you like a post, it means you like the whole post. It's so embarrassing that the fight is about Instagram likes.

[Mary]

Then the direct quote is, you got some brown left on your lips from licking Jax's asshole, you fucking cock.

[Courtney]

And then, like, when law is like, why are you squaring up with me, dog? He's like, why are you squaring up with me, homie? My God, you guys are dorks. All of you are dorks.

[Mary]

Then Zach has drank too much, and he's like, who's looking at things that people liked? Why would you be doing that?

[Taryn]

No one is honest here.

[Mary]

Fuck everybody.

[Courtney]

Like, he literally goes 0 to 100. When they did the decibel level later in the episode, I was like, that is a. A for sure thing. Because I think he would. What I would say is a word is overreacted. He overreacted.

[Mary]

He has to leave the room because he is hyperventilating. And Tom's just like, breathe, Zach, breathe. And he's like, we are a throuple now. Zach's like, I don't want to be in a thrle with you.

[Courtney]

Benji was okay with it, though. Benji was like, no one I'd rather be in one with. But, like, Zach and Jasmine start going where Melissa literally has to get in the midd them to pull them apart. I'm like, what is happening? Why are we defending Danny? You guys. You guys hate Janet so much that you are blindly Defending Danny because you want Janet off the show. Guess what? She's on it.

[Mary]

It's also so weird in real time that Danny went to Jasmine and Melissa's wedding. Yeah.

[Courtney]

And so did Janet.

[Mary]

I know.

[Courtney]

The thing is, is it's like, okay, when it all comes down to it in the overall big picture, Danny, you did something, okay? And at the end of the day, if you never did anything, none of this would have been an issue.

[Mary]

Okay?

[Courtney]

So like at the crux of it, you are the problem here. Now Janet, in a quest to be right, went too hard on it.

[Mary]

Right.

[Courtney]

And at the end of the day isn't trying to protect Jasmine and Melissa from what happened to them but wants to Danny for what he did. So both sides are forgetting the fact that this happened to Jasmine and Melissa who have also constantly asked to stop talking about it. And then every time they keep defending Danny, it's almost like they are saying whatever happened to Jasmine and Melissa doesn't matter. And so it's like you guys aren't caring about what happened to them. You guys are caring about defending yourself to be in the right. And that's why both sides sides are annoying. But the fact is too, Danny and Nia have way more people who are willing to go pitbull on the other side because they can't stand Janet. Where the other people are like, Janet didn't do this or whatever it is. They're just not as gung ho, if you will, about defending Janet the way that they feel the need to defend Danny and Nia by, by default.

[Mary]

And they've all just made it about themselves in some way. Like Britney brings it back to her. You know, they're all just selfish. Britney's like, well, and yes, speaking of liking comments, you like to comment about me and like you're gonna believe Jack's that motherfucker. And Jesse and you know that just gets into another fight and it's just, it's exhaust.

[Courtney]

And then like Jesse's like Britney, I hate. Why is Jesse going so hard on Britney at this point? I'm like, what Jesse, what is your problem with Britney here? It feels weird. The fact that he keeps going after the women. He's going after Britney, he's going after Janet. You were literally going after Danny's drinking last season and then you guys all had an alliance meeting and you all decide this is a survivor bitch. You're not voting anyone off the island. No torches getting snuffed here, okay? What's going to end up happening is Danny and Nia are going to be leaving the show and then you guys are going to be so mad that Janet's still here and you're going to do the same thing when you're all effing assholes. This is an R rated podcast. I apologize to the children in the car who are listening because their mom is listening and I'm sorry. Sorry.

[Mary]

On that note, let's actually just take a break.

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I've got ideas.

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[Naomi Ekparigan]

Howdy, howdy ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fan. Fellas, I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.

[Courtney]

And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball, but you can call me the Smash Daddy.

[Naomi Ekparigan]

And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn. But here's the catch. Steven here has not read Mistborn before.

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[Courtney]

So each week, you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter.

[Naomi Ekparigan]

And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven will even try to guess what's next. Spoiler alert. He'll be wrong.

[Acast Host]

Newsflash.

[Courtney]

I'm never wrong.

[Mary]

Episodes come out every Wednesday, and you

[Courtney]

can find Fantasy fan fellows wherever you get your podcasts.

[Mary]

Okay, so then Danny starts apologizing to Brittany, and Nia jumps in, and Mia's like, okay, we need to get off these cameras. We've got to go to bed. And she's like, come on, Daniel. And she's like Libra season.

[Courtney]

Woohoo.

[Mary]

Danny's like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? You left with Libra season. Woohoo. And then we get a flashback the next morning of Nia apologizing to Danny again. I'm like, what is happening? Yeah. Blink if you need help. It's crazy.

[Courtney]

It's literally insane. Because he chastises her that night. He chastised her the next morning. Danny, you're the problem.

[Mary]

I know. And she was on watch what happens

[Courtney]

live, having to defend her husband. It was a whole game. It's like, why? Because you know why? She's there too. Danny didn't go to his watch what happens live appearance. And guess what? I bet he's available now.

[Taryn]

I just.

[Mary]

I feel so bad for this woman.

[Courtney]

It's.

[Mary]

It's sad.

[Courtney]

She's in it. The thing is, she is being propped up. Danny and Nia. Daniel and Nia. Because Luke called him Daniel this week too. I noticed Daniel and Nia are the perfect couple and everyone should strive to be like them. They have been put on this pedestal to represent perfection. And the people who are defending like, I'm sorry, Kristen, you suck. I'm sorry. I'm going to say it here. When she was on the bus and she's like, oh, oh, you guys are going to be upset about liking photo. I did it too. It's like, okay, so you're also a bully. You defending them is actually getting obnoxious. I'm just so sick of this whole thing because there is no resolution. We like conflict. And somebody put this on on our thread and we like resolution. You cannot have conflict without an ending. This is so annoying. This is now the third season. We're talking about this because there's nothing to talk about outside of Jax.

[Mary]

Yeah, it's gotten bad. It's gotten really, really bad.

[Courtney]

And I don't know what the solve is here because it's like, I think the solve is that Danny and Nia have to go. I also don't even know why they want to be on this show. They look terrible. Danny having PTSD from his own actions and he had to go to a therapist, but we know it's a life coach at the. At the church. And I think it's his parents. Like, he's so triggered and has PTSD from his own actions. It's like, you can't make this up.

[Mary]

Also, I thought it was so crazy when Danny walks down shirtless showing off his abs. Luke is fishing and Lala's like, I can't believe I. I am forced to walk down and talk to these idiots. And Lala's trying to move people forward. She's like, okay, well, let's take out that word last year from the boat, which is also quite strange because Lala wasn't on the boat. So it's like, a weird person to send to do this job. And Dani's basically like, well, I'm never gonna get over this. This is character defamation. And I. I'm never gonna be friends with him. I can be in the same room with them, but I'm done. And, like, that's fair, but we just. We have to stop talking about this. Yeah. It's actually insane and infuriating, and I can't believe I'm liking Lala in this situation. Lala is coming out great because he's trying to make people move forward, but it's just not going to work well.

[Courtney]

And it's, like, crazy, too, because at the end of the day, it's also Janet not really bringing it up right? Like, it's a pajama. I'm just calling a pajama party after Schwarzappalooza because everyone was in their jammies. She was like, we're not allowed to move forward because of a thing I said, and I'm not allowed to talk about the thing. But everyone else can talk about the thing. It's like everyone else keeps bringing it up as a talking point, and then Janet has to then answer for it. And it's like, everyone has to get over it at this point. Like, not get over it, but, like, move on from it. Danny did a bad thing. He has apologized. If Jasmine and Melissa have accepted his apology, the group needs to move on. Janet has tried to apologize to Nia a couple of times throughout the season. Nia doesn't want to accept it. That's fine. Time to move on. Because Nia doesn't care. She doesn't care. And she probably, at this point, really doesn't care because she's like, I know my husband sucks, but I'm gonna defend him to the end of the day. I have four kids. I don't give a shit right now. I'm sorry, you guys. I am cussing a lot. I apologize.

[Mary]

No, but it was interesting because N is quite combative on this shopping trip.

[Courtney]

But I think because Danny's yelling at her, I think because Danny is chastising her, like, you need to be defending me more. So she's taking it up a notch. But it's like, mia, why are you even going on this shopping trip. Kristen, why are you going on this shopping trip? You guys are here for conflict. Don't tell me you're trying to hang out with Janet and make things better. One or two of them needed to stay back at the pool.

[Mary]

Yeah. I felt bad for Janet in this situation because, okay, once again, in the van, they say, well, you said that molester comment or sexual assaults. And they're like, no, no, she did not say molester. And then Janet's like, well, people online were already saying that before I said it. It would have come out anyway. And then Nia is like, well, then your apology's BS. You tell me you're sorry if you really mean it. And so Nia's like, you're not sorry. And then Janet is like, I. I'm not sorry for saying the truth.

[Courtney]

She says, I'm not sorry for saying the truth, but I'm sorry for saying the words that I said, which, okay, but there is a button there. But they are just looking for a reason to be mad at Janet at this point. Get. Yeah, get. Get off the bus. This is not fun.

[Mary]

Right, Right. That restaurant they went to, I would walk by every day in sayulita.

[Courtney]

Well, I was laughing because we went on a pulque tour for your bachelorette. It was like that, like, milky looking drink.

[Mary]

We did have that. Yeah.

[Courtney]

We were all quite in a state of.

[Mary]

I'm. No, I was actually, because I was thinking about that one. I was like, that was one of the worst hangovers of my life. Like, Zofran didn't help. I should have gotten an IV that day. It was awful. I had the shakes. I mean, there was like, I feel like.

[Courtney]

I mean, Michelle and Jesse, the fact that they are getting along so well is, like, hilarious to me because those two are trying to have fun. They want to have the fun. Kristen was having fun for 2.5 seconds because when they walked out of a bar, Michelle danced out of it. Kristen danced out of it. And then I feel like Kristen was like, wait, shoot. Do you feel protected Because I have to protect you. Do you feel protected? Deal with your own issues, Kristen.

[Mary]

Kristen gonna agree to disagree with Luke

[Courtney]

this week when she was like, that's just how I'm feeling. It's not putting Luke down. Like, so I do hope you watch this back and both things can be true. You can be feeling that however you are putting him down, you are saying really mean things to him. So I hope when you watch this back, there is some reflection. Obviously, I know she's going through Her PBD journey and all of that. So I understand that emotions are heightened, but, like, you are mean to him.

[Mary]

I'm with Lala in that she's self sabotaging right now.

[Courtney]

And self sabotage in season one, episode one of Vanderpump Rules.

[Mary]

Right, right. And yeah, her postpartum. Yes, yes, yes.

[Courtney]

Why is Lala the voice of reason?

[Mary]

I know, it's.

[Courtney]

I hate it.

[Mary]

It's tough. It's okay. So then they're all at the lunch, the shopping lunch, and Michelle, you know, they keep on talking about Danny. And Michelle says, people having sex with him.

[Courtney]

Just Danny with the adjective. Just want to clarify.

[Mary]

And then Nia starts talking about her other grievances with Janet. And she's upset about last year about being at Britney's rental house and saying Danny had a drug and alcohol problem. And Janet could relate because she was in a relationship that previously had that. So she's kind of going backwards talking about that. And then Michelle chimes in and says, well, people feel uncomfortable when Danny drinks. That's really the problem here. And then Kristen's like, well, we could say that about a lot of people in this group because Britney has a drinking problem, Jasmine has a drinking problem, and Zach. They all need to stop drinking their hot messes. Janet immediately gets out. Her phone is going down. Now Brittany, Jasmine, and Zach have a drinking problem. Just to let you guys know, they

[Courtney]

have no problem throwing you guys under the bus in order to protect Danny. All of them drink. They don't care, Danny, about you drinking. It's not the fact of you drinking. Because at Zach's house, as Zach says, you drank at my house. It's weird that you're hiding it, right? But you didn't do anything wrong at my house. The problem is, though, is that when bad things do happen from you, it's because you've been drinking. So it's not necessarily that we care about your drinking. It's we care about what happens happens when you drink.

[Mary]

Right?

[Courtney]

And if you're sneaking a white claw in Britney's gym, if you're sneaking alcohol in the Santa Barbara pantry, it sounds like there's a pattern here. Daniel,

[Mary]

it was weird that he fessed up to the housewarming drink, but not the white claw, you know?

[Courtney]

Well, I didn't do that, but if I did, I'm like, oh, my God, are we doing the narcissist prayer right here? Do you know what I mean? He's like, and if I did, hypothetically, like, what's the big deal? It's like, well, why don't you just come out and say it?

[Mary]

Just admit to both. I don't know why he only admitted to one. That feels weird.

[Courtney]

I just don't understand, like, the way that you keep hiding it is actually becoming a problem too, because, like, why are you hiding it if you don't want it? Because the group doesn't like when you drink, then don't drink with the group. At the end of the day, the problems would be solved.

[Mary]

That would be the easiest solution.

[Courtney]

But I've realized, though, that this group doesn't want to solve problems. They just want to create them.

[Mary]

Yeah, well, and they created a new problem by Kristen saying that Britney, Jasmine, and Zach all have a drinking problem. I felt bad for Janet. That table. It felt like she was totally alone. I love her jab at Jesse. Shut the up, Jesse. You're a dumb prick. That's why you have half a million

[Courtney]

dollars in debt, yet Janet has receipts. And that's why she is scary, because she also said something in the fight in the Schwarz Palooa pajama party. She said something too, and I was like, she knows where the bodies are buried. She has me, as I think we said this, a notes app on every person on that cast in case she needs to go after them. She has the receipt. She keeps a record. She knows the timeline.

[Mary]

Yeah, I completely have the screenshots, too. I mean, she's married to a lawyer,

[Courtney]

and that by proxy, has made her a lawyer in past seasons. Shared JD like, we share a minor in psychology. See, it's totally allowed, you guys.

[Mary]

But I felt bad for her when she's talking to Jason on the phone, because it's like, at this point, she knows this is never gonna go away. And how is she gonna continue if every single trip, every single outing comes back to this and she can't integrate in the group? This is just, like, not gon move forward.

[Courtney]

I mean, the problem is, is that there are two groups. There's the one spearheaded by Kristen representing Dani and Nia, and then there's the one with Janet that's like the single girlies. And then Zach and Jasmine play this teetering because I'm like, you guys want to expose Danny's drinking, But then, like, you're also pulling back. I don't know where the two of them are going with this. I don't even know what they were fighting about, to be honest. Everything was just, like, not freaking. All right. I just was getting frustrated because I'm watching this and I'm torturing myself. Week after week. And yet I can't not watch it. And I've watched it twice, and I'm just thinking to myself, what is the payout here? What is the outcome here? How do any of them think that they're moving forward the goal of getting rid of Janet? I hope they freaking don't. At this point, I'm rooting for Janet to stay on for 45 seasons just to piss them off because they can't get rid of her.

[Mary]

I am team Janet, and everything is going to be all right for Janet.

[Courtney]

I think so, too. Also on the after show, so Jason and Schwartz are paired together. And Jason was like, yeah, Schwartz, you kind of said that you'd, like, protect her. He's like, I did say that, but I kind of didn't want to get involved. And then Jason's like, yeah, sometimes you can't get involved in, like, the girl stuff. He's like, you know, like, helping him out. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Because, like, Schwartz is going to protect Janet. No, he's not.

[Mary]

I mean, he was sweet that he tried to go over and had her shoulder when she was on the phone with Jason.

[Courtney]

Oh, no. Like, I just think Schwartz is so conflict avoidant. Like, he's not in Mexico pouring beers over his partner's head anymore. Okay. He has. He has moved from that, but it just is along the line. Like, yeah, Schwartz wasn't going to be the one to defend because he's not going to defend anything because he's nervous. He'll comfort them at the end of it, but he's not going to, like, stand up to Kristen. Who wants to stand up to Kristen?

[Mary]

What is gonna happen when they go back to the hotel?

[Courtney]

Oh, I'm gonna guess. I mean, based on a pattern here as well. A fight. Brittany's gonna have a full breakdown because at this lunch at the pool, Zach has apologized. It's Zach's birthday today. They are seemingly all on the same page at the pool. Okay, we've made amends. We're gonna, like is great. Now, granted, the main drama is on the bus and at this, like, off campus lunch. I'm calling it, but it's about to go crazy. Do you think that Janet should have sent that text?

[Mary]

Yes, yes. I actually think it was better to send it via text so they can all talk about it before they get back.

[Courtney]

Say it, forget it, write it, regret it.

[Mary]

I. I usually like to see, like, a real time reaction, but this, this works in this situation.

[Courtney]

This is like letting the wheels turn because all Three of them are sitting right there on the couch. Like, it's not like she said, Jesse

[Mary]

having margaritas, being called alcoholics.

[Courtney]

Huh. Like, so then. So then, you know, they're just sipping harder, and they're like, oh, she thinks we have.

[Verizon Ad Voice]

Oh.

[Courtney]

Oh, okay. And then I'm like, daniel, you have no idea what's coming for you. I just don't know what the show does here. I feel like there's probably no resol solution at the reunion. There's no path forward. So at this point, for you, who do you get rid of?

[Mary]

It's gotta be Dan. India.

[Courtney]

But do you think that that causes conflict for the following season for Janet and Jason? You guys, I can't believe I'm gonna say this. Yes, I can. I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna stand by it. Sheena and Brock gotta come on next season.

[Mary]

They definitely need some other couples.

[Courtney]

Mm. We need Sheena and Brock, and that's because Sheena has a level of desperation. She needs to be on camera. And then you have, like, the Sheena and Lala stuff.

[Mary]

The Sheena and Lala stuff will be interesting if we can get that going. Because they're fighting about their children's school. That fascinates me a little bit.

[Courtney]

And I also feel like you need to cast one of the moms from the school as well.

[Mary]

Ooh.

[Taryn]

Okay.

[Courtney]

Because we need someone who can give more to this. Not that the other cast can't, but I'm like, Lala, I can't believe I like her right now. But also, she has no conflict in the show. She's there to move the storylines along. She's there for the producers so that it's a familiar face for the rest of us. But then to also be like, oh, you guys need me to do what? Sure. You got it.

[Mary]

Is it Rand's ex wife that comes on because they have the podcast together?

[Courtney]

No. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. When I said a mom from the school I met against Lala,

[Mary]

I did notice they had, like, a graduation from that school, so I wonder if they're going to the next school together. Or maybe they've.

[Courtney]

They.

[Mary]

Summer, Moon and Ocean have photos together from the graduation. I mean, I'm sure the kids are still friends because they go to the same school.

[Courtney]

When I seen, like, Sheena go on, like, a field trip or whatever, and the kids are together, I'm sure that they probably do a very good job of, like, group play dates and the kids are still friends and all of that. And they put their differences aside because I do think at the end of the day, the love they have for their children is amazing. And they don't want to, like, let their issues be issues.

[Mary]

And they haven't spoke about it publicly. Like, what exactly happened.

[Courtney]

And so I'm willing to let that happen in season four. Me too. And honestly, Honestly, honestly. Tom Sandoval, a friend of

[Mary]

Courtney. Courtney, Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more.

[Courtney]

That's all I can tell you. But we need conflict.

[Mary]

I think the thing here is as well, comedic relief. We need to laugh at it. Fun.

[Courtney]

We need some fun. Not that he's like, fun, but he's fun. Me to laugh at.

[Mary]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Nobody is comedic relief for me right now. Everybody is not all right. They're on the edge. I'm on the brim. I'm thinking about Britney when she, like, flipped out, you know, she's like, I'm on the brim. And that's what we all are watching this, and yet I can't stop it.

[Mary]

Okay. Sheena Brock, Tom Sandoval. I'm kind of in. I'm kind of in. Time is healing.

[Courtney]

No, I'm not healed. I don't want. And I feel like also, like, Tom should have to do it for, like, a free paycheck. Like, he doesn't really get paid. He gets paid, like $10,

[Mary]

you know, and.

[Courtney]

Or like, his paycheck goes directly to Ariana or something for, like, reparations.

[Mary]

I don't know.

[Courtney]

But there's something that I'm like, I need something. They're not doing the reality game right. And Kristen, who has years of experience, is actually tanking the show in the defense of Dani.

[Mary]

But people are watching this.

[Courtney]

I know. So are we. I can't stop. I can't stop. It's like a bad ex boyfriend you keep going back to, but I'm going weekly. And he.

[Mary]

We can't. We can't quit them. We can't quit those Vander pumpers.

[Courtney]

We're all right. Everything is all right.

[Mary]

Okay, on that note, have a great time at the game.

[Courtney]

Love you. See you next week.

[Mary]

Love you.

[Courtney]

Bye.

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[Mary]

It was a mansion.

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I've got ideas.

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[Acast Host]

Acast powers the World's Best Podcasts Here's a show that we recommend.

[Jameela Jamil]

What if you laughed all through your commute? Or if you heard the funniest story while at the gym?

[Courtney]

Well, now you can.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm Jameela Jamil and guests on my new podcast Wrong Turns share their most mortifying and hilarious disaster stories. I'm talking people like Mae Martin, Bob the Drag Queen, Katherine Ryan, Jake Johnson, Margaret Cho, Simon Pegg, Penn Badgley, and so many more. So listen wherever you get your podcast. Wrong Terms where dignity goes to die

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ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Taryn]

Do you want to know the best part about being married to a woman?

[Acast Host]

Women?

[Taryn]

That there's no man involved.

[Courtney]

I mean, true, but I was gonna

[Mary]

say that it's a sleepover every single

[Taryn]

night with your best friend. Oh yeah, that part's cute, too.

[Mary]

I'm Taryn, she's Cami.

[Taryn]

We're married, and staying up is our weekly pillow talk out loud with you. We're giggling, we're gossiping, we're arguing. Classic marriage stuff.

[Mary]

Just having fun being wives while we

[Taryn]

navigate growing up and building a family together. Then our sleepover grows. Our listeners call the Pee Pee Hotline with their own gossip, burning questions, late night spirals, all the stuff they'd only

[Courtney]

tell their best friends.

[Taryn]

So it's a private sleepover, but you are invited. Staying up with Taryn and Kami. New episodes weekly follow wherever you listen.

[Acast Host]

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.