TJG: The Valley Season 3 Premiere!

Summary

Two Judgey Girls – TJG: The Valley Season 3 Premiere!

Date: April 2, 2026
Hosts: Courtney (from LA) and Mary (from the Bay Area)

Episode Overview

Courtney and Mary reunite to discuss the Season 3 premiere of “The Valley,” a Bravo reality show featuring a group of former “Vanderpump Rules” cast members and their evolving (and often dramatic) lives, friendships, and relationships in LA’s San Fernando Valley. This episode centers on shifting group dynamics after Jax Taylor’s departure, cast shakeups, notable returns, budding feuds, and mounting parenthood pressures—all with the girls’ trademark irreverence and humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening: Bye, Jax! New Chapter for The Valley

• The girls start by debating the symbolic "taking down of the Jax sign."
  • Courtney is over any mention: “Why did we have to even have a taking down of the Jax sign? He’s gone.” (03:32)
  • Mary enjoyed the symbolism: “I loved that. I feel like it was very symbolic…It’s over.” (03:54)
• Both agree Jax’s absence feels like a cleansing for the show, with Mary doubting he’ll ever return.

2. Opening Credits Overhaul & Cast Hierarchy

• The new credits and cast groupings are dissected.
  • New scenes: Kristen & Luke, Britney & Michelle as “cookie-cutter mamas,” Jesse & Tom Schwartz & Lala at a BBQ, Jasmine & Zach with a water balloon, Janet & Jason lounging.
• Courtney laments Jasmine and Zach’s low billing (“They need to be higher up. They have put in the work on this show!” (05:39)), while Mary finds the Desperate Housewives energy funny.

3. Britney’s Glow-Up without Jax

• Mary: “Feels like she shed 220 pounds of Jax Taylor and…got her sparkle back.” (07:20)
• Noting the homegoods “live, laugh, love” décor and positive outlook, they discuss Britney’s new relationship with Brandon—an old Kentucky friend.
  • Mary senses Brandon wants to move in; Courtney and Mary both think her giddy energy is refreshing.

4. Single Lives & New Relationships

• Benji and Zach: Living together in WeHo, Benji openly uses weight-loss GLP-1s (“He looks fabulous…make the money and lose the weight!” (09:23))
• Jasmine and Melissa: Wedding planning montage highlighted, with Jesse Lawley (Jesse L.) angling to officiate their wedding.
• Jesse seems enmeshed with different friend groups, worrying Michelle’s spot in the group.
  • Mary: “I weirdly feel like he is gonna win. Not that there’s any winning.” (09:58)
• Michelle’s breakup: Dumped for “not being fitness enough.” Courtney finds this ridiculous, as Michelle is “tiny, she looks fabulous.” (13:12)
• Both are firmly against a Michelle–Schwartz romance (“Absolutely not.” (14:13)), finding Schwartz too sad/Eeyore-ish for her.

5. Who is the Real Ringleader?

• Debate over group leadership:
  • Courtney claims: “Britney is technically the ringleader…but it’s actually really Janet.” (10:04)
  • Cites Janet’s subtle manipulations—removing birthday posts, icing people out, controlling who’s ‘in trouble.’
• Mary admits being “manipulated by Janet and I’m actually okay with it.” (13:03)
• Discussion of a swim date confrontation between Janet and Kristen, with underlying rivalry for group alpha.

6. Group Dynamics & Feuds

• Kristen’s hostility at Britney’s swim playdate recapped.
  • Janet felt pushed out (“her child’s crying…super sad in the moment.” (11:25))
  • Courtney suspects manipulation (“Using her child as the reason why.” (12:03)), but Mary sees both as vying for “top dog” status.
• The hosts highlight the series’ fun: clear group divides (Kristen/Luke, Jesse, Zach, Jasmine, Nia/Danny vs. Britney, Janet, Lala, Michelle).

7. Lala and Schwartz: Are They Necessary?

• Schwartz: Hosts agree he’s only necessary as a “friend of” not main; find his “sad” antics somewhat pitiable. (15:17)
• Lala: Courtney thinks she’s forcing things—“coming in too hard, too fast” (15:17)—and that Luke potentially being her baby daddy is a “funny” but overblown storyline.
• The moment of Lala learning about Luke’s sperm bank donation was a genuine surprise on camera.
  • Mary: “Zach’s face was like what? That was not a pre-planned convo.” (15:49)

8. After Baby: Kristen’s Parenting Struggles

• Discussion shifts to Kristen’s tough postpartum adjustment.
  • Mary: “She’s overwhelmed, to say the least.” (20:12)
  • The show contrasts supermom Nia (with “four under four”) and struggling Kristen, which Mary considers unfair.
  • Courtney stresses how postpartum struggles are being (perhaps exploitatively) used as storyline.
    • “Can she, like, have a break?” (23:25)
  • Both hosts empathize with Kristen—“Not a good look on Luke.” (23:37)

9. Jesse, Lacy, and the Divorce Papers

• Why won’t Jesse sign divorce papers?
  • Theorizing: Is it cost? Power? Something hidden?
    • Mary: “He’s hiding something. Maybe something would come out.” (19:39)
    • Courtney: “You think it’s the last piece of power he has over her.” (19:36)
• Lacy is now in the fray, doing press, possibly leveraging money/power to keep Jesse.
• The Yamashiro end-of-last-season incident clarified: It was Lacy (not Michelle) who caused the drama, and now footage aired because Lacy’s a cast member.

10. Lacy, Michelle, and Co-Parenting Triangle

• Lacy, asserting herself as a “modern family” peacemaker, raises Mary’s suspicions (“I don’t trust Lacy” (29:07)).
• Michelle just wants Jesse to sign the divorce: “Well, to be honest, all I want is divorce. So if you could help me move that forward, I’d love that.” (29:10)
• Courtney confesses a (toxic) wish for Jesse and Michelle to get back together after sensing “chemistry” during a rock-paper-scissors co-parenting handoff.
  • Mary: “No, we cannot let that happen. Absolutely not.” (29:52)
• Both agree Lacy is a barrier to healthy co-parenting.

11. Other Observations & Predictions

• Danny and Nia: Not much Danny so far; Nia foreshadowed to break down soon—possibly Dani-related or just “four under four” stress.
• Zach and Benji: Zach, a fan favorite, will feature more; intrigue over his open relationship now Benji moves in.
• Jasmine: Eager to see her wedding prep storyline.
• Britney: Courtney wonders aloud if her rumored “mommy makeover” will be covered this season.
• Overall Premier Review:
  • Not a “strong, strong, strong premiere,” but the hosts are glad to be back in The Valley world. (31:44)

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Memorable Quotes

• Courtney: “She is a homegoods that has thrown up in that house. They are live, laugh and loving.” (07:10)
• Mary: “Feels like she shed 220 pounds of Jax Taylor and…got her sparkle back.” (07:20)
• Courtney on Michelle-Schwartz: “Absolutely not.” (14:13)
• Mary on Janet: “I think I’ve been manipulated by Janet and I’m actually okay with it.” (13:03)
• Courtney on divorce drama: “You think it’s the last piece of power he has over her.” (19:36)
• Mary on Lacy: “I don’t trust Lacy. I really know not much about her, but I don’t trust her.” (29:07)
• Courtney (singing Britney Spears about Michelle & Jesse): “The taste of your lips I’m on a rhyme, you’re toxic. I’m slipping under just saying.” (30:20)
• Courtney on postpartum plot: “I can’t have a whole season of Luke not having sex. Like, boo. Who? Sorry, Van Gogh, use your hand. I’m just sorry. What the—She just had a baby three months ago. Leave her alone.” (33:04)
• Mary, dryly summing up: “Not a good look.” (33:51)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:32 – Season 3 Premiere kicks off, debate about Jax’s legacy
• 05:39 – New opening credits dissected; cast group billing controversy
• 07:00–08:46 – Britney’s Jax-free glow-up and new romance
• 09:23–09:39 – Benji and Zach’s life & GLP-1s confession; Jasmine’s wedding plans
• 10:04–11:01 – Who’s the real ringleader? Janet’s manipulation
• 13:12–14:15 – Michelle’s breakup, Schwartz’s “sad” return
• 15:17–16:10 – Lala’s forced entry; live sperm bank revelation
• 20:12–23:51 – Kristen’s postpartum struggles, group contrasts
• 18:26–19:42 – Jesse divorce papers speculation
• 27:38–29:27 – Yamashiro flashback, Lacy enters the cast, Michelle-Lacy drama
• 33:04–33:51 – Courtney and Mary vent about the exploitative postpartum storyline
• 31:44–32:51 – Discussion of overall season structure, mom makeovers, future conflict teases

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Tone & Style

The discussion is informal, playful, and honest, filled with Bravo-insider references, snark, but also empathy—especially around parenthood and reality TV’s emotional costs. Courtney and Mary bring levity to group drama and always remind listeners that these are “real people” (with, sometimes, very funny problems).

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Conclusion

The season premiere of The Valley introduces fresh dynamics in the wake of Jax’s axing, spotlights new romances, revived feuds, and the trials of Bravo parenthood, with hosts Courtney and Mary keeping it candid, witty, and judgey—all the way through.

Transcript

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[Courtney]

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[Mary]

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[Courtney]

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[Courtney]

it's Courtney from la. And it's the premiere of what season are we on? 3 now. Of the Valley. Why did we have to even have a taking down of the Jacks sign? He's gone. Let's not even mention him. I don't even care if it's to say that the bar is gone. We don't need any reminder of this man.

[Mary]

Oh, I loved that. I feel like it was very symbolic and it's like, this isn't the end of him. It's over.

[Courtney]

We're done.

[Mary]

Bye, Jax.

[Courtney]

He'll probably be back next season.

[Mary]

No, that's, that's, that's not happening.

[Courtney]

That's kind of the rumors that if he's good for one season, he can come back. You don't need him.

[Mary]

It's also crazy to me that he really is not in the press. We haven't heard about him in a very long time. He's kept super quiet.

[Courtney]

The last time we heard about him was when we interviewed Shane Davis and they go to the gym together and they're working the program and I think that's for the best. I don't think we need to hear from him.

[Mary]

I don't think we'll ever see him on Bravo again.

[Courtney]

Let's talk the beginning credits because we have some new people this year. We have some breakups. We have some different scenes per I'm all right

[Mary]

this song, it like, gets me giddy.

[Courtney]

I don't know.

[Mary]

I think it's so silly. It's like really gritty. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Courtney]

Pickup truck we're driving like there's dust in the air like we're all right. The license plate's saying four under four.

[Mary]

So there was so much going on in this opening song. I loved it way too much. First it was just Kristen and Luke and then I was like, oh, okay. We have Britney and Michelle. They're serving lemonade. I'm like, are we trying to go like, oh, we're like Desperate Housewives. We're trying to be like cookie cutter mamas. I don't know. And then the next one is Jesse and Tom Schwartz and Lala and they're barbecuing people. And that grouping was kind of silly to me as well.

[Courtney]

That should have been the last grouping. Tom and Lala don't get to come on this show in the third season as cast members and be third billing of the groups. And then you put Jasmine and Zach at the end throwing a water balloon. No way. Okay. They need to be higher up. They have put in the work on this show and have been cast members since the beginning. And Lala and Tom get to be in the third grouping.

[Mary]

No, I thought it was very interesting. And then next was Janet and Jason and they are on Chase Lounges. They're having a cocktail. They're having a great time together. Next you have Nia and Danny and Nia is being sexy with them. That hose, she is wiping down the car, it's a minivan. Four under four.

[Courtney]

Okay. Nia, she was like, I am feeling sexy and I'm going to show you.

[Mary]

And then that last shot is just Jasmine and Zach. They're batter up, batter up. I'm all right. And it's the water balloon.

[Courtney]

I wish you guys could see Mary right now with the full movements back up. So we open with Britney who Britney is really feeling herself. Cruz seems so happy. I felt like we were seeing Cruz. He was playing with the cameras. He was running around getting ready for school. He's going outside. He's gonna lock Britney out. He's like, it's I'm going to the pool.

[Mary]

She is so cheesy. Like that clock with Cruz and Britney. And then like the cartridge. She has like, man monogrammed everything at that home.

[Courtney]

She is a homegoods that has thrown up in that house. She and from Orange County. They are live laugh and loving.

[Mary]

It was funny to see her. Feels like she shed 220 pounds of Jax Taylor and you know, she got her sparkle back. And she just seems giddy and excited and it really like made me cackle because she still has so much to do. Her life is still in probably a really hard spot, but she's not acting like it.

[Courtney]

She has a very positive outlook which I will give to her. I think it's really great. And I also feel like there is a lightness to her on this season because Jax isn't there. And last Season a lot of the Britney stuff was that she had to play nice, even though she was dealing with the fallout of Jacks and his spiral, but also was like, I need him to get paid because we need to pay for our son. And then when that ultimatum came down where he was released from the show, she's like, I am going to film. I'm gonna have the best time. It's having a moment with Jax. And to be honest, since she's joined the reality TV verse of Bravo, she came in as Jax's girlfriend. She then became Jax's fiance, then his wife. She's never done it anything without him.

[Mary]

Well, and maybe she's so happy because she's being love bombed by Brandon. I did like to hear that they've known each other since they were 19. They're both from Kentucky, but it feels like he is wanting to move into that house in la. I don't know. That was the vibe I was getting.

[Courtney]

He was like, I could do three more days in Cabo because you paid for it.

[Mary]

The girls in the group are definitely questioning him as well as Zach. Um, but I will say she has the giggles. I think she's into this man right now. And sometimes you need someone to distract you from reality.

[Courtney]

So Benji and Zach, they are still living in weho. Benji is there legally and he does not have to hide the way that he is losing his weight. He's using those GLP ones. And you know what? He looks fabulous.

[Mary]

Pretty sure he's doing ads for them. So good for him.

[Courtney]

Make the money and lose the weight. Good for them. Jasmine and Melissa, they're planning a wedding. I love that when they started going through like the montage of the list of what she wants for a wedding and I was like, hell yeah. And then how far we've come from season one to now because Jesse Lawley wants to be their officiant.

[Mary]

It's so interesting that Jesse Lawley feels like he is in the mix. This season is going to be tough for Michelle because I think Jesse and Zach have become very good friends. Kristen and him are good buddies. It feels like Jesse just goes out

[Courtney]

with the group a lot.

[Mary]

I weirdly feel like he is gonna win. Not that there's any winning.

[Courtney]

Well, you have the single girls of Britney, lala and Michelle now. And then Janet's part of that group. And even though Britney is technically the ringleader of the group, it's actually really Janet. And nobody wants to admit that because lala thinks she is, but it's actually Janet.

[Mary]

What?

[Courtney]

Explain Janet is very good at making sure that she keeps those relationships. Like when they were talking about the Kristen situation, I was like, britney didn't say anything because she didn't want to upset Janet, even though Janet left because she doesn't want to get involved in it. But Janet is the one that actually makes the decisions of that group. Britney has always been somewhat of a pushover. I want everybody to be friends, even though I think she's a little calculated. But I think Janet is actually the ringleader there. But she'll ice you out. Like, remember when Zach and Britney were together and then Janet deleted her birthday post because she wanted Britney to know that she was in trouble with Janet.

[Mary]

It's very funny because as I was watching this premiere, I forgot why I didn't like Janet. I genuinely could not remember. Then we got the flashback to Hawaii, and she kept on bringing up the sexual assault with. With Danny. I was like, oh, yeah, now I remember. But it feels like I feel like I'm gonna swing back to her side.

[Courtney]

To Janet's side.

[Mary]

Yes. I really enjoyed her this episode. And I think what Kristen did was so wrong. Off camera, they all go to Britney's house for, like, a swim playdate. Britney, I think, was anticipating either Kristen wouldn't come or Janet want to come. They both end up coming, and Kristen is pissed when she sees Janet and is like, why is she here? She doesn't deserve to be here. Janet felt like she was run out of the house. Her child's crying. He didn't want to get back in his car seat because he had planned to swim with Cruz. It sounds super sad in the moment. She's like, he was, like, wrestling to get out of there.

[Courtney]

Don't you think there was an ounce of manipulation in the way that she was saying that? Like when they were popping up the text messages from Janet to Britney. So this is her saying, you've picked Kristen over me, but trying to use her child as the reason why. But I'm also like, Kristen, just play nice. It's for the kids. Obviously. Kya's not swimming. She's, like, so little. You were over there. She said she didn't think Janet was coming, but that means that there is a percent that she could be coming. Do I know if Janet came because she thought that Kristen was going to be there and was, like, kind of ready to have drama. I don't know. That's why I like the dynamics of this show too, because Kristen and Janet are the ones that are butting heads to be the top Dog. That's why it's like Kristen and Luke, they've got Jesse, they've got Zach, they've got Jasmine. Like they've got Nia and Daniel. Over there. Over there. So there really is a line drawn. And Britney is the one that is somewhat can go over to both sides, but she's also the tiebreaker.

[Mary]

I think I've been manipulated by Janet and I'm actually okay with it.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Mary]

Did you even notice that her husband wasn't in the episode?

[Courtney]

No, but I also don't think we focused a lot on Janet this episode anyway. So it wasn't that big of a deal to me to not see Jason. I would like to see Jason. I find Jason very attractive. So if he wants to be on my screen, feel free. Just saying. We see Michelle, she's in her new house and she's living this single life. Aaron has broken up with her because she's not fitness enough. You guys, we go to the same gym and she was fitnessing it up in there. Okay. He was spotting her with the weights. She was working out. She is tiny. She looks fabulous. How dare.

[Mary]

This was so strange. He wanted a way out. The flashbacks of all his eyes was so hysterical. Cole just wide eyed scary. But you know what? At the end of the day, she moved on like too fast after Jesse or maybe overlapped. And it will do a little good for her to have some single time. What did you think about like the Schwartz in her?

[Courtney]

Absolutely not.

[Mary]

Absolutely not.

[Courtney]

Doesn't he have that little girlfriend anyways? He had that little young girlfriend and now he's got another young girlfriend. And I'm still sorry. It's like I like Schwartz, but there is a level of sadness there. There's a little Eeyore that's kind of walking around with him, but he uses it to his advantage. He does remind me of the Zoloft rock.

[Mary]

Oh, I don't get Eeyore from him.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Mary]

He's not a Debbie Downer.

[Courtney]

He was like, Michelle, we could go to Voda Spa. I love that place. Like, we'll go out at night and then we'll go to Vota Spa. She's like, well, we'll figure a different path. She's like, I'm not going out with you.

[Mary]

But I don't even think he's asking her out on a date. He's just friendly with everybody.

[Courtney]

Yeah. He's like, let's get drunk. And then what I like to do is I get wasted and then I go to the spa and I sit in the hot tub and I let the steam like exacerbate that and it's a good time.

[Mary]

Are you happy he's back? Did you want him on our screens?

[Courtney]

I think as like a side character he's fine. Like almost a friend of role. I still don't think he deserves that third group billing. But she bothers me less than Lala. Lala's already coming in too hard, too fast. I don't care enough about her to want to know an update on her life. The storyline of Luke maybe being her baby daddy. It's kind of funny. But then I thought if she ever figured out and let's say it actually was Luke, she would be so pissed because she would never choose someone like Luke.

[Mary]

That was absolutely hysterical. And I genuinely think they found out on camera he donated to that serum bank. Zach's face was like what?

[Courtney]

That was not a pre planned combo. That was. Are you serious? And that, that's why I felt like. I felt like the color left Lala's face where she was like, you've got to be kidding me.

[Mary]

I mean Kristen, the stepmomy. I. It could be true.

[Courtney]

Totally could be. It totally could be. Okay, let's take a break.

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[Edward Jones Narrator]

What does it mean to live a rich life? It means brave first leaps, tearful goodbyes and everything in between. With over 100 years experience navigating the ups and downs of the market and of life, your Edward Jones financial advisor will be there to help you move ahead with confidence. Because with all you've done to find your rich, we'll do all we can to help you keep enjoying it. Edward Jones Member, SIPC.

[Mary]

Okay, question for you. Why does Jesse Lawley not want to sign the divorce papers? What is the hold up there? He says it's simple. He just hasn't done it. It's money related, but she's not asking for any money. Also, there seems to be no money. What's happening here?

[Courtney]

I think there's stipulations. I'm not sure what it is. I think it might maybe it costs money to get the actual divorce, not owing her, but for him, if he doesn't have to do it. Maybe because also Lacy does not want to marry him. I don't know. I'm making all this up, but like, if he's still married, well, he can't even get married. So it's almost like he's using it as like, well, if I was not married, of course we would be together and engaged and married. But I'm still married. Because she's like, well, I don't really think I want to get remarried. I've made this up on a fanfic in my head. There's no evidence. Not even vibes. Actually, I do get some weird vibes from Lacy, but that's another story.

[Mary]

There's something very interesting about why he won't sign the divorce paper. Something calculated there. I'm not sure what it is.

[Courtney]

You think it's the last piece of power he has over her.

[Mary]

He's hiding something. Maybe something would come out.

[Courtney]

And it's not the no show socks that he wears with his loafers, because I saw them. What's oh, oh, well, they're no show socks. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So he's not hiding that, but he's hiding something else because he goes over to Luke and Kristen's house while Kristen's out and I'm like, this is such an insane storyline for three months post baby. Are you kidding me?

[Mary]

Luke does not get it I felt so bad for Kristen in this moment. She's like, I don't feel anything like myself. My body's completely different. It sounds like breastfeeding didn't go her way. She isn't leaving the house. She's overwhelmed, to say the least. And Nia's like, you guys haven't done a date night yet.

[Courtney]

Like, Nia, you're on your fourth babe trying to show Nia as a mom. And then Kristen disheveled and like being so overwhelmed. That's so not fair because Nia has so much practice doing this. She's got four under four. They're thinking of fifth. I think Kristen is so overwhelmed that they don't have a nanny. I can't let somebody else do this because they won't do it right. She says I only know how to be her mom now. I don't know how to do anything else. Like her mind is always just what is Kaya doing? What is Kaya doing? What's her routine? What's next? What's next? She's just trying to like anticipate whatever is going on that she cannot focus on anything besides what's right in front of her. Yeah.

[Mary]

Also, I respect not even wanting to go on a date night. You know what sounds good? Someone comes over to my house and watches my baby for three hours and I sleep.

[Courtney]

She's like, I went to the grocery store and they treat you differently because now I'm not pregnant and I have a baby and she probably didn't even take the baby. Like Luke was kept the baby and she went and she's like, the respect is not there anymore. Like, this is so hard. I feel terrible for her.

[Mary]

I've often thought about this. What is the ideal age to have a baby? Like, what is the perfect number to have a baby?

[Courtney]

There's not a perfect number, but I'd be very curious.

[Mary]

Is that 28? Is that 32?

[Courtney]

Because of like how hard it is on your body, how much money you have life expecting experience. You have a partner, you have doing it by yourself, responsibility. Like what do you mean for that?

[Mary]

Yes. All of these things are a factor. So it makes me wonder sometimes. And I think being an older parent can be a little bit more challenging cuz you're used to things a certain way versus being younger. I. I just wonder that for myself. Kristin, she's just adjusting to this new life. She's 20 minutes late to her own sippancy. I feel like that's not even that late. That's on time in my Book.

[Courtney]

We know in your book. I know. I, I feel bad for her because I think too is like this happened. Then they're like, by the way, you have to film. And maybe as you said with like the age thing is, maybe she thought she would like, snap back faster. Look at Nia. Look how fast she can. It's like, oh, my God. You can't even compare yourself to Nia. You can't compare yourself to anybody. You can't compare yourself to Lala. Like, I can remember when Sheena and Lala had both had their first. And then Lala like snap back like that. And I can remember Sheena feeling insecure about how fast Lala snapped back and how fast she did. You can't compare because as they say, comparison is the thief of joy. But to go three months, be like, I hate how my body looks and then have to also be filming. It's such a crazy experience.

[Mary]

You're also not even cleared for. Like, mine was longer. I mean, six weeks is generous. And then I had to wait longer also. There's no part in your body that wants to do that. It's disgusting.

[Courtney]

I'm just so, so surprised they're using this as a storyline because this doesn't make Luke look great even though he's complimentary of Kristen's body and he thinks she's beautiful. Can she, like, have a break?

[Mary]

I felt really bad for her here and it's not looking good on Luke.

[Courtney]

I'm just surprised that this was the storyline they went with as opposed to just being new parents.

[Mary]

It's a good point, Courtney. It's a good point.

[Courtney]

It feels a little stressful. Let's talk about the Mexican dinner. It was Brittany, Lala, Janet and Michelle and they're back at El Coyote. Like El Coyote clearly is the only place that they let them film. We've had so many instances of them at El Coyote. Not in the Valley, but they go. They all go there a lot. They filmed there at Vanderpump. They filmed their last season, the Valley. They filmed this Valley season. But okay, Britney came in and I'm like, is she wasted the energy she had coming in? I was like, this is crazy. She's like, like just chit chat and talking on her about herself. There is some energy coming from Britney that was a little crazy if you ask me.

[Mary]

Oh, I thought she was just in a good mood. She was high from her vacation. She was light, she was free. She's got a tan. She's got a new boyfriend. He's emotionally stable. She Finds it so sexy. He has big dick energy. She's so used to chaos. She's worried she's going to get bored.

[Courtney]

She.

[Mary]

She was light and free and she did not expect Janet to come out of her.

[Courtney]

Well, no, and I'm. And I'm glad that we also kept her from knowing about Janet's skin tag.

[Mary]

Why did they leave that? Pardon?

[Courtney]

Why did she say it on camera? Did she try to be more relatable? I also, by the way, Janet loves the color brown. I feel like everything she owns is this color brown. I actually loved this outfit on her.

[Mary]

I guess I don't even notice her outfits because literally all of them are brown.

[Courtney]

It was just really flattering on her. Looked really nice.

[Mary]

No, she, she looks good this season. I'm liking her look and I think she's definitely coming in a little bit more level headed.

[Courtney]

You mean like taking what the fans have said and then trying to utilize that to change fan opinion, which you've said. It kind of changed yours. I'm already team Janet over team Kristen.

[Mary]

Not over team Kristen, but I'm, I'm warming up to Janet pretty quickly over here. Wow.

[Courtney]

Okay, great. Okay. To be fair too, you left the Valley last year when it was ending. You were on maternity leave.

[Mary]

Oh, but I watched it all.

[Courtney]

No, no, I'm not saying you didn't watch it. I was just saying we actually didn't have this discussion because you were gone. What do you feel about the lala getting in the mix here?

[Mary]

I don't need her at all. I'm not invested in her. I think she's just going to try to almost be a Lindsay Hub House, you know, move the stories, ruffle feathers, be in the mix. And I'm just not invested.

[Courtney]

She's like, oh, I took two years off, like, raised my babies. No, you ruined Vanderpump rules and then they basically made you wait until you could get back onto the issue show. Everything just feels so forced with her and she's trying to make a sound bite and say something silly. I'm like, I just don't care for you. I didn't miss you. I don't need you. And I think with Schwartz too is like, you could be a little friend of like, him. Meeting up with Zach, I was like, I just feel bad for him. It's like, it's sad.

[Mary]

I wish that we would see more Jesse Zach scenes. I didn't need the Tom scene. I'm really into this relationship with Jesse and Zach and I think him and Lacy are very good. Friends, let's talk about Lacy, because Michelle was pretty shocked that she shows up to the sip and see and she's like, oh, are we allowed to say her name now? You know, her lawyer had previously sent me a cease and desist, but it seems like Lacy comes from a lot of money, and I think she will never want to marry Jesse because she actually has money.

[Courtney]

Okay, well, maybe that's why he won't divorce. It goes with my theory. We get a little flashback about Yamashiro be from the end of last season. And what's crazy about that is we weren't really allowed to talk about what happened. And people really made it seem like it might have been Michelle. But we come to find out that it's actually Lacy who showed up too early. Everyone was filming. She didn't want to be filmed. And before that, she tried to have a boundary conversation with Michelle. And Michelle's like, I don't want to be any part of Lacy. I don't want this. And then Lacy somehow turned it up to a 10 at Yamashir at the end, they start fighting. They're yelling you to each other. I'm like, what is happening? The crazy part is, though, is that now because Lacy is part of the cast, tangentially through Jesse, they're allowed to show that footage. That.

[Mary]

And she did the press with Jesse this week, which I find kind of crazy. She's very much in the mix. She's in the show. And I'm curious what made her come around. She's definitely trying to paint herself as, oh, I just want us to all get along. They want to be this modern family, do things all together. And I think it's also very interesting timing now that Michelle is single, so she's walking alone. She doesn't have a partner to come at them if. If she needs be, she's going to stand there solo.

[Courtney]

She's got Lala. It.

[Mary]

It feels very calculated. I don't trust Lacey. I really know not much about her, but I don't trust her. And I love that Michelle's like, well, to be honest, all I want is divorce. So if you could help me move that forward, I'd love that. And then when Lacy comes back and was like, jesse, well, maybe you're the problem.

[Courtney]

I think Lacy controls that relationship. There's something about her I'm just getting weird vibes from. And maybe it's just because I love Michelle, but I also love Jesse and I. Maybe I toxically want them to get back together because when he came and picked Up Isabella from Michelle's house and they played rock, paper, scissors. I felt the chemistry. I said, I get it. Now I see why they were together. They are vibing.

[Mary]

No, we cannot let that happen. Absolutely not.

[Courtney]

We don't have to let it happen. I'm just saying I could feel the energy. And they're in a what seems like good co parenting relationship at this point point. And I don't know if Lacy is putting a little barrier between them to really get where they need to go.

[Mary]

Courtney. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Courtney]

The taste of your lips I'm on a rhyme, you're toxic. I'm slipping under just saying.

[Mary]

I'd prefer Tom and Michelle over Michelle and Jesse back together.

[Courtney]

I think we should just say for Michelle, someone better than both. But if I had to choose one, I'd go Jesse.

[Mary]

Did you notice the lack of Danny in the episode?

[Courtney]

Yes. All I can recall with Dani was Booko Mountain, Santa Clarita. When they did the map to show the valley to Santa Clarita, I said, but. But I mean, Danny was obviously at his, like, sip and see. I just feel like we didn't really get a lot of anyone. Obviously. I think the main storyline is going to be Kristen and Luke. It's feeling that way. I think we're going to get a big B plot of Michelle, Lacey, Jesse, and then I think we're going to be getting Britney because it's almost like it's Britney's show that they feel they need to put her in the spotlight. Did she get that mommy makeover? Is it on the show? No. I'm just wondering the timeline of it. Does she get it on the show? Why do I feel like she gets it mid show and then they go on a trip or something?

[Mary]

You're right. You are right.

[Courtney]

Like, it's going to be part of her storyline, right?

[Mary]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Mary]

Getting rid of Jax in all ways,

[Courtney]

overall, not a strong, strong, strong premiere, but also, like, welcome back. Maybe it's just my palette is off this week because there's. There's so much other stuff going on.

[Mary]

There's a lot happening, but we will be covering the Valley all season long. I'm excited to see Zach. I think he is my favorite person on the show. I think he has great comedic timing. I'm really curious about his open relationship, if that's gonna cause some trouble in paradise because now Benji is moving in with him. That feels like it could be complicated if you're living together in an open relationship. I think we're not gon to see very much of Dany this season. Nia is going to collapse. We see her crying the next episode. Something is wrong there. She can't control her man anymore.

[Courtney]

Oh, you think it's Dani related? I thought it was that she's feeling overwhelmed from having four under four.

[Mary]

That too.

[Courtney]

That. Oh, he's the one that wants five. She comes around with scissors. He says, no way. I was like, I don't know how it works.

[Mary]

Danny and I need a little bit more Jasmine as well. I hope we get to see all the wedding prep. That's always fun. And I'm team Michelle on this one. Bye, Lacy.

[Courtney]

I agree with you on Zach. When we interviewed him, he said, there's more me. And I was like, well, we didn't get enough. We didn't get enough. We need more. I really hope this, like, a cinnamon Luke thing is, like, in the bud. I can't have a whole season of Luke not having sex like, boo. Who? Sorry, Van Gogh, use your hand. I'm just sorry. What the. She just had a baby three months ago. Leave her alone.

[Mary]

It's pretty embarrassing storyline if you ask me. I think it's. It's a real situation that happens, but her being 12 weeks out makes it pretty uncomfortable. I would say yes.

[Courtney]

If you told me it was like, a year later, I'd be like, oh, but that's not even the sex part. I'd say the lack of intimacy it feels like with you guys. Three months.

[Mary]

Yeah. Not a good look.

[Courtney]

Anyways, we'll see what happens.

[Mary]

Okay, bye.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

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[Courtney]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Courtney]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

Anyways, only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Courtney]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Mary]

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's the show that we recommend. Hi, I'm Pace Case.

[Courtney]

And I'm Bachelor Clues.

[Mary]

We host Game of Roses, the world's best reality TV podcast. We're covering every show in reality TV at the highest level possible. We analyze the Bachelor, Love is Blind, Perfect Match, Vanderpump, and anything else you find yourself watching with wine and popcorn.

[Courtney]

We break down errors, highlight plays, MVPs, and all the competitive elements that make reality TV a sport, and we interview superstar players like bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristow and Big Brother champion Taylor Hale.

[Mary]

If you want to know so much about reality TV, you can turn any casual conversation into a PhD level dissertation. You definitely want to check out Game of Roses. ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.