Diamonds in the Rough: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

Summary

Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge Episode Summary: "Diamonds in the Rough: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!" Release Date: January 24, 2025

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Introduction and Personal Updates

The episode kicks off with Teddi Mellencamp welcoming listeners from her current location in Palm Desert, where she’s attending her first horse show of the year. Tamra Judge joins her virtually from Broadway, where she’s immersed in filming a new project. The contrasting settings set the stage for an engaging conversation about balancing personal lives and professional commitments.

Notable Quote:

• Teddi Mellencamp [02:01]: "Hi guys, welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the Rough with myself, Teddi Mellencamp."

Navigating Single Life and Online Dating

As divorced individuals stepping into the single scene, Teddi and Tamra share their experiences with online dating, particularly focusing on the Hinge app. Teddi discusses her initial frustrations with receiving messages from significantly younger profiles due to an age entry error. This leads to humorous anecdotes about recognizing a familiar face from her past.

Notable Quotes:

• Teddi Mellencamp [05:35]: "Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from DSW..."
• Tamra Judge [06:18]: "I was like, I'm telling you now that you're on, maybe I should get on."

Challenges and Insights on Dating Apps

The duo delves deeper into the mechanics of Hinge, sharing tips and frustrations. Tamra highlights the impatience of matches wanting to transition conversations off the app quickly, while Teddi emphasizes the importance of selecting authentic interactions over superficial connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Tamra Judge [13:02]: "But what I have learned is that immediate quickly. Once you're on Hinge, they want to transition right out of Hinge..."
• Teddi Mellencamp [14:46]: "I'm on Hinge. And I mean, it's the other night we were at dinner with Kyle..."

Broadway Life and Personal Struggles

Tamra provides an update on her Broadway journey, sharing the exhilaration of receiving standing ovations and the supportive community within the cast. However, both hosts reflect on the past five challenging years, marked by personal upheavals and professional hurdles.

Notable Quote:

• Tamra Judge [09:21]: "I'm having a great time, and you're there. Three more weeks."

Main Topic: Let's Talk About Sex

Responding to listener feedback, Teddi and Tamra pivot the conversation to the intricacies of sex and intimacy. Initially stepping out of their comfort zones, they acknowledge the importance of discussing sexual health and relationships openly.

Notable Quotes:

• Teddi Mellencamp [09:26]: "We took some listeners feedback, and something that a lot of the listeners wanted to hear us talk about is sex."
• Tamra Judge [10:01]: "When was the last time you had sex?"

Guest Introduction: Dr. Viviana Coles

The hosts introduce Dr. Viviana Coles, a renowned sex therapist dedicated to helping individuals and couples navigate emotional and physical intimacy. Dr. Coles brings a professional perspective to the discussion, offering valuable insights into enhancing sexual relationships.

Notable Quote:

• Teddi Mellencamp [34:19]: "We're here with Dr. Viviana Coles. She's dedicated her career to helping couples and individuals navigate emotional and physical intimacy."

In-Depth Discussion on Intimacy and Sexual Health

Dr. Coles emphasizes the significance of mental stimulation in sexual desire, encouraging women to tap into their "largest sex organ, the brain." She introduces her project, "Vivid Fantasy," a tool designed to help individuals create personalized erotic stories to boost their sex drive.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Viviana Coles [36:26]: "I want everyone's sex drive to really enhance their life."
• Teddi Mellencamp [37:16]: "My vivid fantasy is something that I have created. It is a choose your own sexy adventure for adults."

Pillow Talk and Communication in Relationships

The conversation shifts to the concept of pillow talk, highlighting its role in maintaining and enhancing intimacy within long-term relationships. Dr. Coles provides strategies for effective communication, while Teddi and Tamra share their personal approaches to fostering sexual connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Viviana Coles [40:27]: "If you're in a relationship, you need to have more pillow talk."
• Erica Jane [41:07]: "I have a long, like, daily communication, like, long sort of sensual lead up to, like, seeing them."

Personal Anecdotes and Light-Hearted Banter

In true podcast fashion, Teddi and Tamra infuse the discussion with humor and personal stories about their own sexual experiences and preferences. They candidly explore topics like kinks, preferences in intimate settings, and the balance between personal comfort and explorative desires.

Notable Quotes:

• Tamra Judge [50:43]: "I prefer circumcised penises, but..."
• Erica Jane [60:02]: "I think that custom and this is what I like."

Conclusion and Future Discussions

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express their commitment to continuing the dialogue on sexual health and relationships. They hint at future episodes featuring sex therapists and further discussions on hormonal changes and desire dynamics as women age.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Viviana Coles [48:45]: "If you're in a place where all of a sudden you're feeling like these different feelings that you haven't felt before, how do you give yourself the confidence to express those feelings?"
• Teddi Mellencamp [47:55]: "Anyone that tells you otherwise is misguided."

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Key Takeaways

• Embracing Single Life: Both hosts navigate the challenges of starting over in the dating scene, leveraging online platforms like Hinge while sharing humorous and relatable experiences.

• Open Conversations on Sex: Addressing topics often considered taboo, they shed light on the importance of sexual health, communication, and intimacy in enhancing overall life satisfaction.

• Professional Insights: Dr. Viviana Coles provides expert advice on boosting sex drive, the role of mental stimulation, and effective communication strategies like pillow talk.

• Personal Growth and Relationships: The discussions underscore the significance of understanding one's desires, maintaining sensual connections in long-term relationships, and the continuous journey of personal and sexual growth.

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Notable Moments with Timestamps:

• [02:01] Teddi introduces the episode and her current setting.
• [05:35] Teddi shares her initial experience with Hinge's age settings.
• [09:26] Transition to the main topic of sex based on listener feedback.
• [36:26] Dr. Coles discusses the importance of mental stimulation in sexual desire.
• [40:27] Introduction to pillow talk and its role in relationships.
• [50:43] Personal preferences and anecdotes about sexual experiences.

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This episode of "Two Ts In A Pod" provides a candid and comprehensive exploration of sex and intimacy, blending professional insights with personal anecdotes. Whether you're navigating single life, seeking to enhance your relationships, or simply interested in meaningful conversations about sexual health, this episode offers valuable perspectives and relatable experiences.

Transcript

[Teddi Mellencamp]

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[Erica Jane]

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[Erica Jane]

And hi, I'm Erica Jane.

[Unknown]

Well, if this doesn't perfectly sum up who we are at this moment. Erica is on Broadway and and filming the pod from New York and I am in a camper in Palm Desert. So.

[Erica Jane]

Well, what are you doing there in the camper in Palm Desert?

[Unknown]

I am here at the camper because we are back at our first horse show of the year, and so. Yeah. And we're trying to, you know, cut some costs, do the things like it was. It was fine. Camper life. Night one was all right, except for the fact that Slate wanted to be in the primary room and I slept on the bunk. I was like, I am having flashbacks of my childhood on my dad's tour bus in a really junky one.

[Erica Jane]

Not in the John Mellencamp tour bus. Right. You know, what the horse world is. Is expensive. You know, it's an expensive, expensive world to live in and. And, you know, be successful, and it's not for the faint of heart. How are you?

[Unknown]

I am. I'm good. You know, it's the crazy thing about, you know, getting divorced and, you know, I mean, not that you're divorced, but this. The ending of.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

A relationship is just, like, the different stages of how you feel throughout time.

[Erica Jane]

Sure.

[Unknown]

And, you know, there's some days that are great, and some days are a little bit freaking dicey, you know, Very much so. Trying to communicate with somebody that, you know, was. Once. You know, I'm a micromanager in general, so, like. Yeah, that has always been my thing. Like, our schedules, organizing things, and having to, like, take that step back and realize, like, okay, that's actually no longer your job on the days that you're not with the kids is. I mean, it's. It's heartbreaking, but it's also like, okay, this is what it feels like to, like, go with the flow. I've no. I don't know in my life I've ever gone with the flow.

[Erica Jane]

Well, yeah, and I don't like that either, going with the flow. But I've. I've surrendered to that moment of just sort of, you know, I don't know what's coming next, and I can't predict it. And I'm out here on my own two feet, which is great. Like, I'm not bitching, but there are moments where I'm like, oh, you know, what is going on? What do you do on your days that you're not with the kids, though?

[Unknown]

I mean, I pod every day, so, like, I'm always working, and then now I'm. It's. It sounds crazy, but, like, I've gone on a couple dates. What? Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

I don't even go on dates.

[Unknown]

Well, you want to hear the crazy thing? I'm not.

[Erica Jane]

How did you get these dates? Wait, how are you getting these dates?

[Unknown]

Well, so this is pretty crazy. So I signed up for Hinge and I was like, this is a freaking joke. Like, why are only 28 year olds reaching out to me? Like, why? And then I realized it's because I had my age down too low. But I was like, clear, I don't need to be dating a 28 year old. I mean I'm. They're hot, but like I, I don't need it. And plus, I can't really figure out Hinge because I'm too old. I don't know what a rose means versus a heart. Like I, I don't know, but there was somebody who messaged me and just was like complimented one of the photos and it was weird. I like recognized his face. Like, I was like, I know him.

[Erica Jane]

Where?

[Unknown]

Well, this is the crazy part. So like I let it sit for like a couple days. I was like, no need to respond to the rose or whatever I got. And then because he didn't say anything, he just like rosed it. So I was like, maybe, I don't know, maybe I'm going crazy or maybe he's an actor. I don't know what the hell it is. And then the other day I just messaged and I was like, by any chance did I meet you in like 1999? Are you friends with the following people? And he's like, yes, Teddy, I was wondering if you were going to remember me.

[Erica Jane]

1999?

[Unknown]

Yes. I was 19 when I first came out to LA. But I recognized his face, but I sane. And he's like. And then he's like, yes, Teddy, I, you know, I was just waiting to see if you remember.

[Erica Jane]

So you guys went out?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

And.

[Unknown]

Well, I mean, I don't know, it's more about like the conversations leading to going out, all those types of things.

[Erica Jane]

But I mean, I'm not saying that like, you know what I'm just saying like, is it nice to be out and like having a conversation, you know, like being, I don't know, friendly or something?

[Unknown]

Yeah, well, he particularly I have not gone out with yet because talking and having conversation and it's that weird, like, who knows? But it's been so long that I'm like, I don't even know. Like, do people flirt or like play games? Like what, what happens around.

[Erica Jane]

You are looking at the wrong person to. I don't know anything.

[Unknown]

But before we get into your dating sedge, how's Broadway?

[Erica Jane]

There is no dating sitch. Broadway's Fabulous. I got a standing ovation my opening night. I got a standing elevation my second night. It's great. I'm having fun. You know, there's such a community here at Chicago the Musical. Everybody there is just really special and nice, and I needed something relaxing like Broadway, you know, to come and do. I love it.

[Unknown]

Are any of the same people that were on the show still on? Yes. So that's gotta feel comforting.

[Erica Jane]

It is, because you get to share the stage with them. They. And they, you know, I. I did it 80 times. But that was five years ago. So we rehearsed.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God. That was five years ago?

[Erica Jane]

Yes. You were pregnant.

[Unknown]

We're getting older. We. How has that been five years? In my mind, I was like, that was two years ago, by the way.

[Erica Jane]

But by the way, these five years for you and me have been horrible. Not like, think about. Just thinking about. Just think about from December 2020 till January 2025. I mean. Or January. Yeah, I was January 20. I mean, it has been a rough five years for both of us. Look at how much our lives have changed. I mean, just personal things. So. Yeah, But Broadway is great.

[Unknown]

I'm having a great time, and you're there. Three more weeks.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, February 11th.

[Unknown]

Three more. February 11th. Well, I'm so excited for you. That is awesome. We took some listeners feedback, and something that a lot of the listeners wanted to hear us talk about is sex. Something that's so interesting. I mean, Erica knows. Like, when I first met Erica, I wouldn't even say the word orgasm. I would say, oh, she was very.

[Erica Jane]

You were very, very conservative.

[Unknown]

Like, beyond.

[Erica Jane]

It was a little, like, come on. You were a little stiff.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I was very, very stiff. So the fact that we're doing this podcast talking about sex is definitely out of my comfort zone. Especially because we're doing it at 10am and I couldn't even have a glass of champs to, like, loosen myself up. I was like, oh, this is gonna be a do.

[Erica Jane]

This is gonna be. Hey, but you know what? Sex is an important part of your life. Our lives as women and, you know, life goes on and I need to be having more.

[Unknown]

When was the last time you had sex?

[Erica Jane]

Maybe a few weeks ago. Maybe a month ago. But I don't really. Hold on.

[Unknown]

You haven't mentioned anything to me about such things.

[Erica Jane]

Because it's not that important. Oh, if it was something that was important, I'd be like, hey, get into this. But it's nothing to report. So I would say like a month ago. Yeah, but I have not been focused. But wait, I. I want to give myself a little bit of moment here. I've not been focused because I on that. Because I've been focused on getting this show together and that is like all consuming. But now that I'm here and I've done it a few times. And you know what? When I saw Andy for Watch what Happens Live last week, he was telling me, he's like, erica, you have to get on the apps. I was like, are you sure? He was like, yes. I'm telling you now that you're on, maybe I should get on.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I mean, I'm on Hinge.

[Erica Jane]

That's what Lia was on. And she ry won't let me on.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they didn't let me on either.

[Erica Jane]

I think it's a housewives thing.

[Unknown]

I'm on Hinge. And I mean, it's the other night we were at. I went to dinner with Kyle and we spent, you know, 45 minutes going through the people that have hearted or rose me and we just freaking laughed and like pressed X like, no, no, no. I mean, it's. It's a lot of no's. It's like being an actor, you're going to get a lot of no's. You're going to have to say a lot of no's before getting that. Yes.

[Erica Jane]

But I think that's a cool thing. I mean, what did you do? Did you take what pictures? Did you. I don't even know. Maybe I should download this thing.

[Unknown]

So, yeah, I think you should do it. I mean, my profile. Let me read it. I mean, I didn't take it very seriously on my profile because I was like, I. I'm not. I'm not taking this app very seriously.

[Erica Jane]

Hinge dating app Match. Double click to install Hinge. If you're listening, send us something. Yeah, I'm downloading real time. What do they have?

[Unknown]

Yeah, like make us. I. Some people are verified Hinge users. I'm not. I don't know how to become one. I don't know what that means, but it is me.

[Erica Jane]

What is my phone number? I'm doing it right now. Go ahead.

[Unknown]

Good. But what I have learned is that immediate quickly. Once you're on Hinge, they want to transition right out of Hinge. Like, they're like, hey, because you can with Hinge. You respond, then they respond like, there's no, like double messaging if you forgot to say something or you did a typo. So the couple of people I have spoken to on Hinge immediately are like, can I get Your phone number or can we talk on Instagram? Because this is a pain in the ass.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, okay.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So it's like. It's not, you know, whatever. It's slightly.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, I just. I got to interrupt you. So what, do you put up pictures and stuff?

[Unknown]

Yeah, you have to put up pictures and then what Hinge does. So I put up, like, five pictures. A couple I'm, like, glammed out, and then a couple, like, ones of me riding horses, and then ones of me, like, no makeup, looking like. Like, here's the range. Like, this is. This is me. You're either going to get this or you're going to get this. Yeah, I'm going to be riding a horse like this. These are the options. There's no real middle ground for me. And then Hinge sees which one of those pictures is liked the most and then makes that your primary photo.

[Erica Jane]

Okay. Okay.

[Unknown]

So my primary photos changed a couple times, but either way, it's. It's been a nice distraction.

[Erica Jane]

What kind of men are. Are messaging you? Like, are they professionals or are they. I don't know, like, what are you getting? Like, do you say, like, your age range or something? Or.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you put your age range. You can see, like, what they do. So, like, they're. I mean, I don't really. As long as somebody's, like, passionate about what they're doing and, like, has a regular job and whatever, then I don't really care. I would have to go in a couple days to decide that. But, I mean, I don't want to date an actor. I don't want to like. But somebody in entertainment, I don't mind. I also like location. Like, there are some people, they're just locationally undesirable to me.

[Erica Jane]

Well, this friend of mine said on Raya that he matched with some guy in Istanbul. I was like, we live in la. Like, what the is that? Like, why is that. That's not a match at all. What, are we gonna fly, like, five continents to go on a date?

[Unknown]

Like, no. I did my mileage range within 30 miles, which I still think is too far, because you know that miles in LA means we're probably going to, like, Manhattan beach. And I ain't going there.

[Erica Jane]

No, I'm not going there either.

[Unknown]

Manhattan beach is lovely, but I'm not. I'm not doing it. But, yeah, so it's interesting and, you know, who knows what will come of it?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And.

[Unknown]

But I think on those nights that I am alone, it's nice to talk.

[Erica Jane]

To people that I think it's nice to flirt, right? I mean, I would imagine that it's nice to flirt and get a conversation going or whatever.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And, I mean, I haven't gone on very many dates, but I've gone on, you know, one from Hinge, one not from Hinge. And I mean, it's weird, you know, you don't real. I don't even know the freaking rules anymore.

[Erica Jane]

Do you feel awkward? Because I would feel really like a. I don't know.

[Unknown]

I feel one. There's like that moment of anxiety, like, that I said to both the guys that I've gone out with, listen, I know this is like, I don't want to make it like bragging, but I'm like, just as a heads up, if you're eating dinner with me, there is a chance that paparazzi is going to take a picture right now.

[Erica Jane]

They kind of know that you. Who you were before, maybe like that. What do you say that you do? Like, when you say that I'm a.

[Unknown]

Podcast host and TV personality and health coach.

[Erica Jane]

I mean, that's. That's pretty much gonna. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So. But I. Before I've gone out with the two people, I just said, as a heads up, I. I'm not. My reputation isn't the best right now, and paparazzi are pretty on me. So if you're not comfortable with a shot that you. That may or may not be taken. Not that I'm doing anything physical with these people, but I said, then we should not meet up.

[Erica Jane]

And what was the response?

[Unknown]

Both of them were like, I don't give a fuck. Like, whatever. But they're not. They're not reality. Like, it's. It's a very different. And. And. And that being said, both of them pictures weren't taken yet the other day. I'm at freaking La Quinta eating with Morgan and Kyle and our friend Nicole. I look like their freaking bodyguard wandering around. And there's a million paparazzi pictures, like, off.

[Erica Jane]

I haven't seen those. I've been in a bubble over here. I need to, like, take a look around.

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[Ashley Iaconetti]

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[Kristen Davis]

Hi, I'm Kristen Davis and I want to know, are you a Charlotte? In 1997, my life was forever changed when I took on the role of Charlotte Yorke on a new HBO show called Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in New York City. The show helped push once unacceptable conversation to topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now I want to connect with you and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes together with special guests. What will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. Are youe a Charlotte? Is much more than just rewind watching our beloved show. It brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course, some optimism. Listen to Are you a Charlotte? On the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

Okay, so Erica, if now that we're getting you signed up for Henge or LY is getting signed up for Hinge right now, what photos are you gonna put on There.

[Erica Jane]

Well, that's.

[Unknown]

What's gonna be your age range.

[Erica Jane]

Well, for the age range I can understand. That's easy. I. It's my age and younger. It's not, you know, I don't want to date anybody.

[Unknown]

But how young would you go?

[Erica Jane]

Maybe 30. I mean, because I'm not looking for anything that's serious. I want to just have fun and meet different people. I. I've been married all of my adult life. I'm really okay not doing something like that, but having a good time, meeting interesting people, having good conversations or doing fun things. Sure. 30 may be too young to, like, you know, know anything, but probably really good in bed. So that's how I kind of look at it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah. You know, can last a long time, but it's important for me is.

[Unknown]

So is it lasting a long time or knowing what they need to do in that time frame?

[Erica Jane]

Well, I can teach, but I don't want to. But sometimes there's some savvy 30 year olds.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

You know, sometimes there are some savvy 30 year olds. I don't know that I could do the 20s thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know that I could do. Reaching out to me are like the 28 range.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah. I don't know that I could do that. I'd be like, I don't think you'd want. I mean, I know what you're after. That's cool. But I don't know if I'm after that too.

[Unknown]

But also, I'm like, I have a jillion children and I'm available on Tuesdays, like, well, maybe.

[Erica Jane]

But listen, men are.

[Unknown]

I don't know that I'm.

[Erica Jane]

But they. They don't. They don't. Yeah, but that's. You know, men aren't. They're not available either.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So they're like, who knows?

[Erica Jane]

Do you. How do you. You know, I think what my thing is is that. What is my name? Oh, it's already asking me my name. No background checks are conducted, which was going to be my next question.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

Now, what name should I use My last name? Should I use my name? What. What. What name did you use?

[Unknown]

I used Teddy Mellencamp. I just went with my name and. But I could easily. It's effortless to tell if somebody's like, a star. Like, they're trying. Like, one guy's like, so I'm like, I know. You could just Google me. You saw that it says TV personality and podcast host. Like, but he's like, so what? Television shows, like, every Question he's asked was related to what I do. And I was like, well, that's a no for me. You know?

[Erica Jane]

Like, I.

[Unknown]

After the third question, I was like, he's like, so, when do you want to meet up? And I just put. I. I didn't even. I was like, you know what? I don't even need to respond. I can just X. And then he can't write me anymore. It's so easy. Like, it's very clear. Nope, not interested.

[Erica Jane]

First name. E R, I K A. I think.

[Unknown]

You could do Erica Jane, I guess.

[Erica Jane]

Right?

[Unknown]

Yeah. I mean, it feels right. Erica Girardi doesn't. I mean, then you get into a different level of Googling.

[Erica Jane]

It's all bad. Either way. It's all bad. You think you're bad. Shit. An easier way to sign in. No, I'm gonna continue this way.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

Create an account. All right.

[Unknown]

You're gonna. I'm gonna hold you accountable to this.

[Erica Jane]

No, you're not.

[Unknown]

Yes, I am. No. Do you realize the joy and happiness that Kyle felt the other day when we were out going through my hinge? And then one of the guys messaged and was like, hey, can we talk? And I was like, I'm with a bunch of friends, but you're welcome to FaceTime us. And he did, and we were all, like, crying, laughing. He looked like the age of. Like, I could have birthed him myself. I was like, so what are you like. I was like, what? What's up? And he's like, I'm just new to la, and you looked hot, and I want to have some fun. And, like, Kyle and I are like, tears are coming out of our eyes. And then he's like, you know, just saying stuff like, you know, in order to talk to you, I had to get out of bed and put some clothes on. And I was like, oh.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, God, I can't see Teddy. I'm just too jaded. I'd be like, you know what? I can't. Please don't do this. Like, don't waste my time.

[Unknown]

Put on a tank top. I was like, this isn't gonna be a no after this informational FaceTime with Kyle and Jen and Christine. But.

[Erica Jane]

Well, when. When Lia was on hinge years ago, I. She would let me answer for her. Right? So I would be Lia. I got us kicked off because I may or may not have said things that were inappropriate. I don't know.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, okay.

[Erica Jane]

So I don't think.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

So I don't know if my. My online career is going to be that great.

[Unknown]

Well, no, we're gonna make it great. Maybe we can find hinge friends. We're gonna bring on a a sex therapist and talk to her a little bit and then we're gonna get in and talk about like the real. This is more about like hormones, how it changes as we, you know, are, you know, we don't like to say getting older, but as our bodies change those types of things, desires change.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

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[Unknown]

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[Erica Jane]

Plus so much more.

[Unknown]

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[Erica Jane]

It's the ultimate bundle for an unbelievable price with plans to starting at 16.99amonth. Terms apply. Visit Disney/hulu max bundle.com for details.

[Ashley Iaconetti]

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Okay, so we're going to bring on her name is Dr. Viviana Coles. She's dedicated her career to helping couples and individuals navigate emotional and physical intimacy. Pillow talk. Are you good at that? No, I'm so good at pillow talk.

[Erica Jane]

I Am the nastiest pillow talker. Nastiest text.

[Unknown]

No nasty I can do. Pillow talk to me is like dainty and like, like, like I'm not, like, I'm fine to be the little spoon and like be held tight and like really feel it. But like, I'm not like a light caressing type of person. Are you?

[Erica Jane]

I can do it all.

[Unknown]

Of course you can. You know what? Just because you're gonna be on hinge now and you want to take all my dates, it's a little bit.

[Erica Jane]

I don't think we're gonna be in the same pool.

[Unknown]

I think we are.

[Erica Jane]

No, I don't think we like the same thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I don't either, but let's bring her on real quick. Pretty. Hi. Hey, guys. How are you?

[Erica Jane]

Hi.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Nice to see you, Teddy.

[Unknown]

Good to see you too. So, I mean, we have like some thought starting questions, but honestly, if there's anything just like sex related, things changing. Related how? People that don't necessarily know what they like, what's missing, those types of things I think would be interesting. But yeah, we're here with Dr. Did. Do I call you Dr. Viv? I feel like the last time we did the pod.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Call me Dr. Viv, Dr. Viviana, Dr. V. Whatever you want, whatever role.

[Unknown]

All right, so Dr. V. That tracks for what this podcast is about, which is sex. What is like your biggest recommendation for somebody who doesn't necessarily know what they're missing in their sexual relationship?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Ultimately, whether you're solo or in a relationship where you can have partnered experiences, I want everyone's sex drive to really enhance their life. And for so many of us women, especially, as we're getting a little bit older, into our 40s and 50s, we start to feel like, oh, my gosh, I have this freedom with my body, this vulnerability that I've never experienced before. But sometimes our sex drives plummet. So I would love to encourage everyone to really tap into their largest sex organ, the brain. I'm sure you've heard this before. It's so important to let those sexy thoughts in, let them stew. If you need help with that or if you just need a little bit of like a shove in the right direction, head over to my vivid fantasy and create your own fantasy. So my vivid fantasy.

[Unknown]

What? Hold on. What is this? Yes.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Okay, this is new. Teddy, you don't know anything about this yet. So my vivid fantasy is something that I have created. It is a choose your own sexy adventure for adults, obviously. And you can fill it out on your own or with a Partner, but preferably on your own, because we want this to be all about what you want, what you find sexy, where to be, all of that. And it takes you through what used to be an in office exercise for me with my clients. I would take them, like, detail by detail. What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you see? All of that. Now I've digitized it so any moment of the day or an evening, you can go on, create your own fantasy, and it spits out an erotic story that's all your own. And the process of doing this has absolutely opened women's minds in general, but men too. I have a lot of partners that are doing this.

[Erica Jane]

What do you find? I just don't want to ask you this. What do you find is the biggest thing holding women back for doing. From doing something like this, from having, like, a fantasy? Rich.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

A lot of women are stuck in this idea of where. Where am I supposed to find the time or the energy? And when is it okay to have sexy thoughts? Is it only during sex? For a lot of women, yes. That's when they think they should. That's the only time they should be thinking about sex is in the sex act. You need to be stroking that organ all day long in order to feel ready to actually be physical, either with yourself or with someone else. Think about the fact that women often take 20 minutes longer than men to reach the same level of pleasure or even orgasm. If you're waiting until you're in the moment, imagine how far behind you might feel. So it. And I think that one of the reasons that men do this pretty well, and I think they're ahead of us, is that they allow sexy thoughts to come in and they don't immediately go, oh, my gosh, no. Oh, my gosh, no. Get away. No, no, this is not the time. Wait, what? Like, you know, and for a lot of women, I think we just really struggle with that. So this kind of gives you the. The arena. But even if you're. Even if you have five minutes and you're waiting for your Uber or just take the time to do this, because you can always respond, you know, you can always go back and actually read it. But allow those sexy thoughts in, ladies. It does wonders for your sex drive, and it'll get you a little bit more revved long beyond, you know, long before you go into anything sexy with someone else. The other thing that I would tell you is if you're in a relationship, you need to have more pillow talk. Now, pillow talk for me, is an Underlying sensual current. And that is the touching, the laughing, the joking, the teasing, all the things that happen when you're nowhere near a sex act, but you're just playful in that way. If you can continue to have that in your relationship, sex won't feel like you're going from cold to hot, from off. It won't be like, this thing that you're jumping in and out of, like, so many people say.

[Erica Jane]

Teddy says she doesn't like pillow talk, but I do, and I think that it's a real skill. And I think, Teddy, like, the more you do it, the more you're like.

[Unknown]

I don't think I know what it. Until you just kind of explained it, I didn't really know what pillow talk was.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I like Shelley, you're right. Pillow talk is what used to happen when you were, like, maybe post coital and.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Like, it's like, you know, let's talk and share sweet nothings and talk about what just happened. People don't do that. And I'm not saying you shouldn't, but.

[Erica Jane]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

What do you talk about, Erica?

[Erica Jane]

What do you say? Listen, I will talk to you about what I felt good. What I. How I like the way you touched me, or, you know, what part of your body feels really good to me, or this was amazing. That. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm really into all of that. I'll give you the full rundown.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Okay. And what happens when it's not so great? Do you also do that? Or is that another time.

[Unknown]

Then you're.

[Erica Jane]

Just not that great when it's not that great. I won't even get to that. Does that make sense? Like, I only do that with people. Number one, I feel really comfortable with. Number two, that I've had a nice time with. Like, that is something that, to me is almost. It's gonna sound crazy. Almost more intimate than the actual sex acts. Sex act itself. Because if I'm being vulnerable with you and telling you the things that I liked and what I want to see more of, that means I enjoyed myself, I had a good time.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah. So a lot of people are not giving each other that feedback. I'm so happy for you that you do, and I think it's. It's a great thing. I often recommend that people give feedback outside of the sexual experience. That way it doesn't feel, like, so raw and you're not so sensitive, whether it's good or bad. But yes, absolutely, do your thing. But my pillow talk and actually I'm writing a book about it right now. Is really trying to help people to have. Have the ability to say, you know, I want you, because I show you. And it's not just during sex.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, no, I really like someone. Like, I have a long, like, daily communication, like, long sort of sensual lead up to, like, seeing them. Like, I'm. That's who I am.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'm the seduction. The seduction of it all.

[Erica Jane]

I'll do it 54 hours a day. Like, that's how my brain works, and that's what I do. Like, I'm on it. If I'm in. If I like someone and I'm really in that space, nothing stops me from that.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Okay. I love that.

[Unknown]

And I'm so new to. Which sounds crazy because I've been married for a bajillion years, but I'm so new to being single and kind of exploring this other side of me because, you know, I think. And this isn't to shade my ex or anything like that, but it really. When you have a bunch of little kids and you're, you know, you're going through the motions, it almost feels like, you know, your business partners, you're like, all right, we're going to go in. We're going to do this. We're going to handle it. And then here we go. We wrapped it up and good. We. We. We had sex a couple times this week, and so we're nailing it.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, I actually have a quiz that'll help you to figure out how to do this better. How to have more pillow talk in both a physical and a verbal way. And it's pillowtalkquiz.com and, Teddy, I definitely want you to take it because I think you'll find that you'll be able to recognize, like, oh, going forward, I really should be more mindful of this or know how this comes across or because you're you. What you're describing is so many people out there where it's like, I look, I love scheduling sex because I'm a busy woman. But most people don't want to schedule because they feel like, oh, it's too much of checking off the box. If you have pillow talk. If you have more pillow talk in your relationship, it doesn't feel like you're checking something off. It feels like you're like, oh, this is. This is part of the fabric of what we've done. And it doesn't feel so random, and it doesn't feel so pressure, you know, so much pressure and forced. Just be aware of These things. So many people. I wish I could. I do a lot of premarital counseling. I actually started a program when I first started my practice back in 2008, because I was like, oh, my gosh, if people just knew these things at the beginning of their relationships, they might not be coming in with the. At the end of their relationship. So being aware of this and like, being a, I guess a consumer of relationship education, I feel like we don't do enough of that.

[Unknown]

If you are in a place and I mean, I get the, you know, the other things that you've discussed, but if you're in a place where all of a sudden you're want you feeling this urge or you're feeling like these different feelings that you haven't felt before, how do you give yourself the confidence to like, express those feelings to. You know, I think, I think so much of my life, you know, when I was younger and then kind of throughout different relationships up until getting married, you know, like, sex was like a forbidden thing and like showing who I was or what I enjoyed. Like, I never felt kind of comfortable doing that. So, like, I get the other part. But, like, how do you get yourself to actually follow through with those types of things?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, I think one of the first things that you can do is first be sure that you understand what it is that the big deal is. So if you're, if you haven't been experiencing pleasure on your own or with your partner, I would say tapping into that and really taking some time to learn how to experience pleasure and to learn how to give yourself pleasure. Because for a lot of people, they, especially women, we won't go after it because we don't really know what the it is and we don't feel confident that we know what that is. It's like, you know, I don't get that sense from Erica, so I'm not going to talk to her right now. But yeah.

[Unknown]

What else?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

You know, really trying to figure out what makes you feel your most. If it's your feminine energy, if it's your masculine energy, whatever it is, whatever makes you just feel like that release, that sense of, of giving, that bonding, the responsiveness, the four intimacy styles, like, all of that. I think once you know that, you're going to be much more confident saying, hey, and let me teach you and let me learn.

[Erica Jane]

Also too, I think also too, there's something to, you know, good girls or, you know, whatever. You weren't really raised. We were raised with somewhat of a girls don't, you know, like, Sex or there's all of these different things around. Women feeling comfortable in their own skin and if you give yourself permission to either know your body or, or to get to just feel comfortable in a intimate situation, I think that's half the battle. Right?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

That's half the battle. And I also think that it's one of the things that creates long term relationships. Sure, if you are just wanting to hook up, you don't really need to care about what's going on for the other person and, and you're just getting through it. But if you're wanting to be in a long term relationship, this is a key factor. Having lasting physical intimacy is a key factor in doing that and it's a part of the investment that goes into long term relationships. And anyone that tells you otherwise is misguided.

[Erica Jane]

Right.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

They're just, they're missing the point. You know, that's, I think the last time we spoke we talked about my book the four Intimacy Styles and it's all about helping people to understand how to have long term lasting physical intimacy. Because again, if you want to get out there and date and you want to have, you know, one night stands and you want to have quickies and you want to try different things, awesome. All for you. I'm all for you. But going into that long term is where people really struggle because there's this kind of like disconnect, connect, disconnect, connect and, and trying to figure that out. As you know, people who've really, we, a lot of people have really gone into this monogamy mindset. It's not easy. Monogamy ain't easy. And having kids and having businesses, multiple businesses and travel and all of that, it's not easy to keep that connection. So it's really important that you look into it and really study that with your partner.

[Unknown]

Well, thank you so much for coming on you guys. She has so much incredible insight and more information that she would love to give you guys. Will you give our listeners some information just so they can, they can find you? Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Everything is Dr. Viviana spell out D O C T O R V I V I A N A on all platforms. My website get my emails. I tend to do a lot of fun stuff in my emails and of course all my products on my shop. But I'm so grateful for you ladies and I'm, I'm, I'm, my heart is with you and everyone in la. Hoping for the best for y'all and, and just love y'all and love everything that you're Doing. Thanks.

[Unknown]

Okay, Erica, now I need to ask you a question. Don't get mad at me.

[Erica Jane]

I'm not.

[Unknown]

How was sex with Tom?

[Erica Jane]

Very 50s, very 1950s. Very, very, very sweet. Very sort of non adventurous.

[Unknown]

Okay, so, like. But were you always on top or were you always on bottom?

[Erica Jane]

It switched around. But my point is this. There was not. There's a different. It was a different relationship. Like, that sexual relationship was not something that was at the height of the entire thing.

[Unknown]

Right. Was it at the beginning?

[Erica Jane]

I think we definitely have more sex at the beginning than we did at the end, for sure. I mean, but it was 20 years, you know. You know, he had undergone a lot of changes.

[Unknown]

And what is your like. And you can grill me too, so whatever. But what are your, like, kinks or fetishes or like, what's your thing? What's like the one thing that's going to like, really make it happen for you?

[Erica Jane]

I have a lot of group fantasies.

[Unknown]

Group?

[Erica Jane]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

With. Involving more than one man or involving women with one man?

[Erica Jane]

More than one man.

[Unknown]

Have you ever had one?

[Erica Jane]

No, but you asked me what. What? You asked me what was going on. I had. What's going on in yours?

[Unknown]

So something for me, it's. I'm like very like. I don't know what the word would be. Like, tactile. Like, for me, there's like, it's. It's smell, it's voice. It's like, that's not a kink. No. But if you have those things, then I will show more of myself to you. And I like to be dominated.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, you like to be dominated. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I think I'm such an alpha in so many aspects of my life. Like, I'm not super into wanting to have like soft, cuddly sex.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, I hear you. So it's a little bit rougher for you.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's a little bit. I mean, there. It can be, but. Have you ever had a threesome?

[Erica Jane]

Have you ever had. Have you ever had multiple partners at one time? I haven't.

[Unknown]

I've never had a threesome. Edwin. Back in the day, me and Edwin, this was pre kids and stuff. We were considering it. Like, we felt like there was somebody we both thought was attractive. We were. That we were all flirting. We were in Vegas. And then like at the end of the day, we just kind of looked at each other and I was like, I don't. I think this is going to be a bad idea ultimately.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah. You know, I can say things like what I said to you about, like, you Know what is your fantasy? And it means, you know, it's multiple people. I can say that now because I'm single, but that's not something that I would have considered if I was married or in a. In a relationship because I'm completely and totally single. I can say things like that. Does that feel. You know what I mean? Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

And I think sometimes that when people want to bring in another party, like, either really great things happen or it can all, like, blow up.

[Unknown]

Well, I think where I'm a little bit. I haven't found porn that I like. Like, really?

[Erica Jane]

Not at all. Not any of it?

[Unknown]

No. Like, I. I really have. I. I put in good effort, but, like, I'm very particular. I mean, granted, if you look at my history, it doesn't seem so, but like, if I'm watching someone.

[Erica Jane]

Well, no other people, but that's. That's a very specific thing because you're watching it for a specific reason. You're not watching it to be in a relationship. These people. You're watching it for an end result. So of course you can be particular.

[Unknown]

So that's been a little bit tricky for me. But I think what I've realized now, which I didn't know that I needed, I think so much of what I am into, even if it hasn't led to sex, it's leading. Led me to want to. Is the way somebody kind of like, takes charge and talks to me about it, leading up to it, even though it hasn't happened. Like, and that's. That's new to me, that feeling that, like, want is new, but you have.

[Erica Jane]

A high drive, a low drive, a medium drive. Like, are you.

[Unknown]

I mean, it was pretty during, like, my. Not to. Not to be a downer, but during, like, all my cancer stuff, it was very, very low, I'm sure. And like, beyond low. Like, couldn't. And I mean, now that I'm getting divorced, I haven't. It's not like I've had, you know, it's not like I'm like, let's go. But no, I'm thinking about it a lot.

[Erica Jane]

It's good.

[Unknown]

Like, I. And that wasn't. I didn't normally think of sex. Like, that wasn't something that was in my regular thought process.

[Erica Jane]

No, I feel you. You know, I get it.

[Unknown]

I'm finding myself getting hot and bothered and I'm like, like, I'll get a text message or I'll get it. And I'm like, oh, my God, did I just Feel tingle.

[Erica Jane]

I like that, though. For you. Yeah. You're a human being. That's right. You know, and I can imagine, like, being sick and things like, that's the last thing on your mind, but, oh, my God. We're single.

[Unknown]

We're single.

[Erica Jane]

We're single.

[Unknown]

We're single. And apparently ready to mingle.

[Erica Jane]

Apparently. How are you doing over there on the hinge?

[Unknown]

On the hinge.

[Erica Jane]

We're up to photos and prompts. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's shaking her head.

[Unknown]

You're gonna have to put in non negotiables for me. I put mandals like that.

[Erica Jane]

What's up? What's a. What's that?

[Unknown]

Like, it was, like, something that you can't possibly handle, and I said mandos. Like, you know, when men we. Sandals.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, mandals.

[Unknown]

It's.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, sandals. Her non negotiable mandal. Like a. A man sandal.

[Unknown]

Like, I cannot.

[Erica Jane]

Was that your only non negotiable?

[Unknown]

That's. I think I said mandles. And chewing loudly. Like, I kind of was just sarcastic in my. And my thing because I wasn't taking it very seriously. But now that I've talked to someone that I was like, okay, I'm kind of into you now. I'm like, one. Do. Do I need to, like, actually take hinge more seriously? Because apparently it. It can lead to something, or do I just leave myself as being.

[Erica Jane]

I don't trust anybody. How the am I gonna do this? I don't trust anybody. I don't believe anything anybody says. I'm not gonna do well on this thing. I'm just not. I just. I am too jaded and. And just, you know. No, I'm not gonna believe one ounce.

[Unknown]

You have to. I mean. Well, then don't. But, like, have fun with it first. You're loud.

[Erica Jane]

Well, yes, I'm gonna have fun with it. Yeah. No, I can have fun with it. I'm just saying, like, I know me. I'll be like, that's impossible.

[Unknown]

Well, but also. That's also, you know, I do that too. Like, I'll get compliments or I'll get somebody like, oh, you know, I. You're so sick. And I'm like, oh, what? No, Like, I can't. It's very hard to accept a compliment, but.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, no, I can do that all day long.

[Unknown]

So what is like, okay, what's the craziest place you've ever had? We filmed this on Beverly Hills, and they never aired it, but where. It's the craziest place you've ever had sex.

[Erica Jane]

I told you in the hospital when I had a head injury.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, we both were hospitalized.

[Erica Jane]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Yeah. I forgot. Why did they never air that? That was pretty. I don't know.

[Erica Jane]

They used to make us say all this and then they never. Yeah, I. Hospital.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Both of us were hospital.

[Erica Jane]

Both of us were hospitalized.

[Unknown]

Yeah. For me it was, you know, like.

[Erica Jane]

Are you into dating doctors, lawyers, businessman? What. What's. What's up with the old career?

[Unknown]

I. I mean, I'm not really into like a nine to fiver, I would say, because one, I don't like to do things late at night. Like, I don't want somebody that's like, I'm going to office every single day and I'm there from 7am till 7pm and this is a SC. Like, no, I want somebody that's their own boss can come and go. Like there's a little bit of freedom in their life. Because I. I mean, look, I. Regardless, like, I can do my job from anywhere. I'm sitting in this fucking camper right now doing it right now.

[Erica Jane]

Well, I'm doing my job too. I'm sitting in this corporate apartment and Broadway doing it. So there you go.

[Unknown]

Yeah. You see what I'm saying? We have jobs. We can do that. There are certain people that their professions do not lead to that. Like, if you're an accountant, I think you, like, do what accountant things do. I don't know. I don't. I'm not necessarily into an accountant.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, I mean, I. I don't know. I don't know. You know, I think I'll just have to see how it goes. I'll just have to see how it goes.

[Unknown]

Well, the last person that you were with a month ago that you haven't told me about, which I'm a little bit irritated. Is that a repeat person? Is that a repeat person or is this a freshie?

[Erica Jane]

It's not a new person.

[Unknown]

Hold.

[Erica Jane]

No, it's not a new.

[Unknown]

Is it the. No, no. But it's not who I.

[Erica Jane]

No.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Erica Jane]

Not at all. No, no, no, no, no. This is not a new person, okay? I've been single, okay, four years. It's not like four weeks.

[Unknown]

Fine, Fine. Okay, then what's the. What's the rule, you know, now that we're new into the swimming of things, like what happens with like, condoms and like all that stuff, like, what goes down here? What. What's the sitch?

[Erica Jane]

I don't really know. I mean, I think that you should have safe sex. Like, don't be stupid. But I'm probably safe sexes. You should be paramount, should be up top.

[Unknown]

But yeah, but, but what do I like? Should I just start texting people before, you know, we go out after a couple times and be like, hey, I'm allergic to latex. So if you're thinking, are you really.

[Erica Jane]

Oh my.

[Unknown]

Don't remember my eyelashes. I can't have fake. Ey lashes.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah. Eyelash glue and condoms are different latexes.

[Unknown]

No, I can assure you with 100% that latex condom is a problem for me. It has to be latex.

[Erica Jane]

Well, then why don't you keep your own condoms that you like and then that way if you decide, because it's going to be your choice anyway.

[Unknown]

I mean, it doesn't that seem a little bit like, this is what I'm doing my Tuesday nights, I'm wrapping it up and let's go.

[Erica Jane]

Well, nobody has to know. I mean, if get down to the moment and it is what it is, you can just be a girl scout and be like, I've got my own protection, so how about that? And I. It's custom and this is what I like.

[Unknown]

Bright red. Even discussing the thought of this.

[Erica Jane]

Yes, but you're not. You're going to have to do this and you're going to have to just accept that this is where we are in life.

[Unknown]

What is the best way that you have an orgasm?

[Erica Jane]

What do you mean? Like penetrate, Penetrative.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I do it all. Are you inner, outer? You can do both?

[Erica Jane]

I've trained myself. Does it take a lot of interesting things? Not necessarily. Yeah.

[Unknown]

I feel like we just need to use this interview as your hinge profile and then you're not gonna have any issues.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, that'll get all the wrong people. No, but I think that. No, I, you know, getting to know your body and something like that, especially when you're like my age, it's like, it's. It's a different vibe, you know?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

I'm pretty comfortable with myself and I.

[Unknown]

Know what I like. More comfortable with myself now than I was 10 years ago.

[Erica Jane]

I don't care. You feel comfortable in your own skin all the way around. I feel as if you, you know, I don't know. I. I'm at this place in my life like it is what it is, dude. It is what it is.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Erica Jane]

It just. It is what it is. This is who I am. This is what I have going on. This is what I do for a living. This is what I don't do. This is what I've been through. You Know I can't. You know, I'm gonna enjoy myself sugar.

[Unknown]

Coating our at this point.

[Erica Jane]

No. For whom? For what?

[Unknown]

I know. Like, you're gonna figure it out. Anyway, can we talk a little bit about Brooke Shields? Did you hear about her interview where.

[Erica Jane]

She got about her.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Accidental vaginal rejuvenation. You know, I wouldn't mind to get an accidental vaginal rejuvenation.

[Erica Jane]

What was her story? She went in for a procedure and they did something added.

[Unknown]

Yeah, like, I, I don't know what the procedure was. Maybe she was peeing. I, I, I don't actually fully know the story, but there's clips everywhere of about it. But she was very open about her sex life and what she was into. And I guess she went in to get something done. My guess is something and like, you know, I jump on a trampoline, I'm going to pee. Like, that's right.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So my guess is that she went in to get. Oh, no, I think what happened was, I think she went in to get the aesthetics cleaned up a bit and then they went in and like tightened.

[Erica Jane]

Too much without her knowing.

[Unknown]

He's like, oh, I, yeah, she elected to go. Oh, yeah, that's what it is. She elected to undergo a labia reduction eight years after the birth of her youngest daughter. And then following the procedure, the doctor told her he had thrown in a bonus rejuvenation. So, I mean, I wonder if it's a good or bad thing, but. So like a laby reduction. I mean, women either have any or outies. We got to be clear. You know, I always talk about this. I'm obsessed with knowing the ratio because, like, I really want to know what the ratio is.

[Erica Jane]

If you're not ever seeing mine, I'll send you a picture.

[Unknown]

But are you 100% close?

[Erica Jane]

Clamshell, you mean? Yeah.

[Unknown]

So you're 100 any.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

That's so nice for you.

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, that's good. That's good, that's good. Yeah, that's how I was born.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Mine is not, Mine isn't like a RBF or rbc, but it's not an Arby's RBC Roast beef curtain. I did not have that.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, yeah, right. You don't have the meat curtains.

[Unknown]

I don't have a meat curtain. But I'm not 100 close. Clamshell.

[Erica Jane]

I'm a closed clamshell.

[Unknown]

I wonder. What is it a genetic thing?

[Erica Jane]

Because, I mean, it has to be. It's just how I think it's just how you're born. I think it's just, you know, it is what it is.

[Unknown]

Do you have better orgasms with circumcised or uncircumcised penises?

[Erica Jane]

I prefer circumcised penises, but I. That's not saying. You know, there's a lot of Europeans, honey, they have the hood on and they're hot. So I really don't care if.

[Unknown]

I mean, we're talking about. I mean, people I've been married to not using. If you're using a condom, I don't. I don't know. But the. The majority of the humans in my past sex life, I had a very hard time having an orgasm with a circumcised penis.

[Erica Jane]

Oh. I don't.

[Unknown]

Well, I don't know. Now. I've got to learn some things.

[Erica Jane]

You've got to learn some things. No, I. I have no problem.

[Unknown]

But, like, everyone in my family is like, that was like our. You know, my. My brothers aren't. My husband wasn't.

[Erica Jane]

I remember when my son was born, they asked me, do you want to circumcise him or not? And I said, yes.

[Unknown]

You know, I was surprised that Edwin wanted to circumcise Cruz, because he's not. And my dad was very, like, steadfast about not having my brother circumcised because he's not. And Edwin was like, no know, let's do it. And I was like, we're doing it. Yeah. So, you know, it is what it is. I don't think it necessarily makes a difference. Maybe it's just the people, not the penis. Do you think size matters?

[Erica Jane]

Yes, I do.

[Unknown]

You do?

[Erica Jane]

Yeah, I. I do. You think size matters?

[Unknown]

I think if they're, like, super thin, that's. I. I don't need it to be, like. Like ginormous by any.

[Erica Jane]

That's not what I asked. I said, does it matter?

[Unknown]

Yes or no, if they're thin? Yes, it matters. Yeah. The girth matters more than the length, in my opinion.

[Erica Jane]

I think it all matters.

[Unknown]

You think it all matters? And do you. Do you have better ones on top or on bottom or on reverse cowgirl?

[Erica Jane]

I don't like reverse cowgirl. I think it hurts. Hurts sometimes.

[Unknown]

Me too. Why?

[Erica Jane]

It's not. It like, flexing down? Yeah. I don't like. That's not my favorite, so.

[Unknown]

But what's your favorite thing?

[Erica Jane]

Well, it kind of depends what mood I'm in. So probably, I don't know. I'm liking both. Like, I like on top and on bottom. I mean, I can have. I can Orgasm, either way. What about you?

[Unknown]

For me, I. I will. It's hard for me to orgasm on bottom.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, so you prefer on top?

[Unknown]

I prefer on top, but there, like, has to be a certain method. Like, I have to be on top and they have to, like, almost arch their back so that, like.

[Erica Jane]

I know what you're saying.

[Unknown]

So that there's, like a muscle or something that pushes up. Yeah, of course, if that doesn't happen, like. But also for me, it's my mind. Like, if my mind isn't.

[Erica Jane]

Well, that's what Dr. V just said.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Like, if I. I have to, like, really be in that. Or it's.

[Erica Jane]

Hold on. Are you sober during sex, do you like to have a cocktail or what? Or.

[Unknown]

I mean, I am open to either. I would say I'm probably more wild after a cocktail because I. Oh, yeah.

[Erica Jane]

For sure, for sure.

[Unknown]

But no, I mean, I. Having orgasms, it doesn't matter if I've had a cocktail or not had a cocktail. It's really, like, my mindset. But no, I'm definitely. Probably more vocal and more. You know, it's like filming a housewife show. I'm gonna probably say all. All the things, do all the good things.

[Erica Jane]

Do all the good things.

[Unknown]

Oh, my gosh.

[Erica Jane]

But, yeah, well, I'm excited.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Where?

[Erica Jane]

I gotta pick. Listen, no, I gotta. So the next stages on my hinge over here. We have to pick the pictures, and maybe I'll send you some and ask you what you think.

[Unknown]

Perfect. And then maybe the next time we're in person on the pod, we can go through and select who.

[Erica Jane]

You're welcome to get on my hinge anytime. And I will. You know what? Let's exchange phones.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's what we need to do. And pick and do some picking.

[Erica Jane]

We'll do it on the pod. We'll do it live. We'll exchange phones. I'll be home in a couple weeks. We'll exchange phones, and then we'll just go.

[Unknown]

That's perfect. All right, well, I expect this to be done. Lia. I'm going to put it on the group chat.

[Erica Jane]

She's gonna put it on the group set up. No, we'll do it. We're doing it right now. We're trying to just get it. Get it. You know, I gotta pick some pictures that make me look normal and not make me look insane.

[Unknown]

Well, you know, then don't pick one of your confessional shots.

[Erica Jane]

I know, I know.

[Unknown]

I.

[Erica Jane]

Listen, I've already been. I don't know that we have anything for this do we have normal pictures?

[Unknown]

I'm just thinking of some of your looks that you could put on there, and.

[Erica Jane]

Oh, no, that's run them right off the. If we wanted to date gay men. Well, I know exactly what to put on my profile. But if we want these straights to answer, we're not gonna be.

[Unknown]

Should we put on that red latex outfit that you reamed me out in?

[Erica Jane]

No. Yeah, it's a real hit. Listen, latex is a kink, you know, I know somebody that's into latex, but.

[Unknown]

Isn'T it hard to get on and off? Like, what are you gonna do, cut a hole down there?

[Erica Jane]

That was just a top, so. And I think it had. No, it's just. It's just baby powder inside so that you just don't stick to it.

[Unknown]

Erica knows that. I don't. Well, you guys pretty much if you've listened to this pod and you had the opportunity to have sex, you're probably gonna have more fun with Erica.

[Erica Jane]

That's not true. Teddy's just trying to make it out like she's not wild. I happen to know who she is, which is why we do this pod together, because I know who she is, so there's that.

[Unknown]

I'm sure, though we need to probably do another one of these in six months after I've had a little bit more practice, and then, girl, you're gonna outpace me.

[Erica Jane]

I'm telling you, nobody's gonna hit me up on this thing.

[Unknown]

Do we keep, like, a little journal?

[Erica Jane]

We should. We should keep. We should keep analytics or stats or whatever they call them. You know how they always show us how we do, Right? A growth chart to see what our. Our analytics are.

[Unknown]

Our strong months.

[Erica Jane]

Right?

[Unknown]

Oh, my gosh. All right, I love you. Miss you.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I love you.

[Erica Jane]

Miss you too.

[Unknown]

Keep kicking ass.

[Erica Jane]

Thank you. All right.

[Unknown]

Bye, babe.

[Erica Jane]

Miss you. Bye, honey.

[Ashley Iaconetti]

This is Ashley Akoneti from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. This podcast is brought to you by Kim Crawford wines. This time of year is perfect to enjoy surrounded by loved ones. Make it special with a chilled glass of New Zealand's finest Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc or Kim Crawford Illuminate Sauvignon Blanc, a lower alcohol wine that's perfect for any occasion. Visit kimcrawfordwines.com to learn more for those 21 and over. Savor responsibly. Constellation Imports, Rutherford, California. Kim Crawford Illuminate Sauvignon Blanc wine is 7% alcohol by volume compared to Kim Crawford sauvignon blanc at 12.5 alcohol by volume volume. Visit kim crawfordwines.com to learn more.

[Unknown]

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[Erica Jane]

The Unshakables Podcast is kicking off season two with an episode you won't want to miss. Join host Ben Walter, CEO of Chase for Business as he welcomes a very special guest, Chairman and CEO of JP JP Morgan Chase, Jamie Dimon. Hear about the challenges facing small businesses and some of the oh moments Jamie has overcome. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Chase Mobile app is available for select mobile devices. Message and data rates may apply. JP Morgan Chase Bank N A Member FDIC Copyright 2025 JP Morgan Chase & Co.

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