Dirty Rush: They Said What?

Summary

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Two Ts In A Pod: "Dirty Rush: They Said What?" (Feb 14, 2026)

Hosts: Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge (episode features panelists Gia Giudice, Jennifer Kessler, Ben Higgins, Bob Guiney, Brett Adams, Dean Bell, and others)
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts
Episode Theme: A tell-all, insider look at fraternity and sorority life, with a focus on fraternity boys answering revealing and sometimes taboo questions submitted by sorority girls and others. The conversation is irreverent, frank, and often hilarious, bringing together former Greek life members from various major universities to compare notes, swap stories, and challenge stereotypes.

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Overview

This episode of "Dirty Rush" flips the script on traditional Greek life conversations: instead of focusing on sorority girl experiences, fraternity alumni are put in the hot seat. The panel – comprised of reality TV and podcast personalities with genuine fraternity backgrounds – answers questions ranging from relationships, social maneuvering, and hookups, to the less glamorous realities of fraternity living. Throughout, the discussion is frank, self-deprecating, and peppered with humor and nostalgia, offering a revealing (and often unfiltered) window into American college fraternity culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fraternity Backgrounds & Icebreakers

• Each panelist shares their alma mater and fraternity (University of Kansas, Michigan State, Ole Miss, Indiana, UCCS, etc.), joking about stereotypes and the dubious honor of having been "kicked out" or surviving pledge season.
• The group rib each other on their Greek affiliations:
  • "Atos at my school were meatheads." – Jennifer Kessler (05:23)
  • "I got kicked out [of Sigma Chi]." – Jennifer Kessler (05:36)

2. STDs, Sex, and 'Acacia' [07:01–09:20]

• An intentionally over-the-top riff about STD rumors in fraternities, including the running joke about 'Acacia' being both a sexually transmitted infection and Ben Higgins' fraternity.
• Nicknames based on sexual reputations—'Alaskan King Crab'—and shared stories about college health department visits.
  • "We had a nickname list...one of the guys nicknames was the Alaskan King Crab." – Bob Guiney (07:48)
  • Signature irreverence:
    • "Acacia kills. Everyone knows that." – Bob Guiney (07:33)
    • "Did you ever get an ointment or a salve?" – Bob Guiney (09:50)

3. How Fraternity Guys Signal Real Interest [10:08–12:00]

• Honest talk about how interest is communicated: it's mostly through word of mouth, friends, and date parties.
• Encouragement that, behind the bluster, most college guys are insecure and not as smooth as they appear.
  • "It's word of mouth...your buddy says, hey, this girl's interested in you." – Brett Adams (10:44)
  • "Guys will push their buddies into being interested whether they are or not." – Brett Adams (11:28)
  • "Day parties were a great opportunity to meet new people." – Jennifer Kessler (11:46)

4. Why Even the 'Charismatic' Join Fraternities [12:19–14:27]

• Myth-busting: Even at big universities with active social scenes, joining a fraternity is as much about building a smaller circle/community as it is about parties.
  • "Sometimes it helps to have some ways to make that place smaller...the frat made it even smaller." – Bob Guiney (14:32)

5. Date Parties & 'Girlfriend vs. Hookup' Decisions [19:50–22:07, 44:55–47:18]

• Most guys truly don’t differentiate right away between potential relationships and hookups; it's more often the women who "make the decision before [the guys]."
• Friendship frequently evolves into more, sometimes after a few too many drinks.
  • "In college, any...what gave me the ick was anybody that felt too forward and like, interested in talking about, like a future too quickly." – Ben Higgins (24:04)
  • "We don't hold the cards, my man." – Brett Adams (46:44)
  • "We've never been in charge...we're just trying to figure it out." – Brett Adams (47:00)

6. Biggest 'Icks' or Turn-Offs in College [22:38–28:59]

• Some answers are frank and crude: hygiene issues ("stinky vagina"), too-forward talk about the future/family, or even meth addiction at one campus.
• The conversation is raw but underscores the lack of maturity and perspective typical of college years.
  • "A stinky vagina is still better than no vagina." – Dean Bell (26:30)
  • "The question wasn't to beat them. The question was, what gives you the ick?" – Jennifer Kessler (28:04)
  • "My biggest ick in college was a girl that was, like, addicted to meth." – Dean Bell (28:33)

7. Fraternity Cleanliness & Sheet-Washing Habits [29:08–34:19]

• Comedic exchange on poor hygiene in fraternity houses; some claim twice-monthly sheetwashing is standard, others—maybe only once a semester.
  • "How often, Brett, were you washing your sheets in college?" – Ben Higgins (30:48)
  • "I would maybe hope...I wash my sheets every two weeks." – Brett Adams (30:53)
  • Debate over whether frequent sheet washing is a "rich kid" thing.

8. Grades and Dating [39:03–41:33]

• Most agree academic prowess isn’t a dealbreaker/great bonus in college relationships.
  • "I don't care if you're, like, super smart or not that smart. As long as, like, we connect on some sort of, like, emotional level, that's all that really matters to me." – Jennifer Kessler (41:23)
  • "There's something inherently attractive about...a girl that's way smarter and way more applied than I was." – Dean Bell (41:45)

9. Pledging: Best and Worst Experiences [42:33–44:39]

• Pledging universally described as "miserable" but foundational for lifelong friendships.
  • "Pledgeship sucks...the bond that I made with these guys, I still have a text chain with all my fraternity brothers...I wouldn't trade it for the world." – Brett Adams (43:08)

10. Greek Life as Development, Not Definition [47:19–53:35]

• Reflection on Greek life not as a defining era, but as an important one for personal growth, social learning, and building community.
  • "It's a season of development, not definition. So it doesn't define you, but it develops." – Ben Higgins (51:56)
  • "It's a sense of community. Everyone wants to feel like they're a part of something." – Jennifer Kessler (47:25)
  • "Anything that they feel or any way that they act or react...is so irrelevant and so fucking stupid because those guys are stupid. And you shouldn't put much stock into what a guy thinks...at that age." – Dean Bell (51:49)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sexual Health/Ick:
  • "We had a nickname list...one of the guys nicknames was the Alaskan King Crab." – Bob Guiney (07:48)
  • "A stinky vagina is still better than no vagina." – Dean Bell (26:30)
  • "If your standards are too high, lower them." – Bob Guiney quoting a friend (23:46)
• The Myth of Fraternity Confidence:
  • "We never felt in charge." – Brett Adams (46:48)
  • "We're just trying to figure it out. We had no idea what we're doing. Still don't." – Brett Adams (47:00)
• Community Value:
  • "Even though I was kicked out of my fraternity, like, it was a cool period of my life where I felt like I was a part of something." – Jennifer Kessler (47:25)
  • "It's a lovely community that, like, maybe a lot of people don't get to experience. But even though I was kicked out of this thing, it's still a big part of my life." – Jennifer Kessler (49:23)
• Perspective:
  • "It's a season of development, not definition. So it doesn't define you, but it develops." – Ben Higgins (51:56)
  • "Anything that they feel or any way that they act or react...is so irrelevant and so fucking stupid because those guys are stupid. And you shouldn't put much stock into what a guy thinks...at that age." – Dean Bell (51:49)

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Useful Timestamps

• Fraternity Intros & Affiliations: 04:19–06:08
• STDs & Acacia Riff: 07:01–09:20
• Real Interest & Dating in Greek Life: 10:08–12:17
• Why Join a Fraternity?: 12:19–15:03
• Date Parties / Girlfriend vs. Hookup: 19:50–22:07, 44:55–47:18
• Turn-Offs/Icks: 22:38–28:59
• Sheets & Cleanliness: 29:08–34:19
• Grades & Dating: 39:03–41:33
• Best/Worst Pledge Experiences: 42:33–44:39
• Reflections & Greek Life Perspective: 47:19–53:35

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Closing Thoughts

The episode mixes unfiltered nostalgia with genuine reflection. While much of the content is frank and comedic—sometimes bordering on raunchy—the underlying theme is one of personal growth, the search for belonging, and the lifelong impact (for better or worse) of college social circles. The hosts and guests openly acknowledge both the absurdity and the value of their Greek experiences, providing reassurance and perspective for listeners navigating—or reflecting on—their own "dirty rush."

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Transcript

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[Gia Giudice]

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[Joe Winterstein]

it's Jill Interestein, host of the Spirit Daughter podcast where we talk about astrology, natal charts and how to step into your most vibrant life. And today I'm talking with my dear friend Krista Williams. It can change you in the best way possible.

[Ben Higgins]

Dance with the change.

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[Joe Winterstein]

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This is Special Agent Riegel, Special Agent Bradley Hall. In 2018, the FBI took down a ring of spies working for China's Ministry of State Security One of the most mysterious intelligence agencies in the world. The Sixth Bureau podcast is a story of the inner workings of the MSS

[Jennifer Kessler]

and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.

[Ben Higgins]

Listen to the 6th Bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Gia Giudice]

Welcome to Dirty Rush, the truth about sorority life with your hosts, me, Gia

[Xolair Advertisement Voice]

Giudice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush. Sororities and fraternities go hand in hand. The parties, the drama, the situations. But today, we are flipping the script. Yeah, were putting fraternity boys in the hot seat and having them answer the questions sorority girls have always wanted to ask but maybe never dared.

[Ben Higgins]

Why does this feel like Dirty Rush after dark?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Let's get into it.

[Bob Guiney]

You think you know, but you have no idea.

[Ben Higgins]

All right.

[Jennifer Kessler]

By the way, I just read a script. I didn't come up with that. Yeah, brilliant.

[Ben Higgins]

Okay, whoever want everyone to know that

[Jennifer Kessler]

I didn't write that.

[Ben Higgins]

All right, that was an episode of Dirty Rush. Sexual. It's Ben Higgins, Bob Guine, Dean Bell, Brett Adams, Wells Adams, and Zach Sh Cross joining you. This is going to be rated X. I would not listen to it if you're under the age of 25.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Welcome back to another episode.

[Ben Higgins]

A little context for everybody listening. We are in Carmel, California together for the AT Pro Am, everybody. To start it out, we're gonna start with Brett Adams. We're gonna go clockwise from there. Remind everybody where you went to school. Everybody here was in a fraternity of some type for some period of time. We're going to be answering questions that were sent in, and then we're going to be also answering questions from the sorority girls who are here with us. That kind of sounds weird considering most of us are married. They're also work with us on the podcast. So, Brett, where'd you go to school?

[Brett Adams]

University of Kansas. Rock Chalk. Jayhawk.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah, K, you.

[Ben Higgins]

All right, clockwise. Let's go.

[Brett Adams]

Well, I forgot you didn't want to hear my fraternity.

[Ben Higgins]

Oh, yes, I do.

[Brett Adams]

Thank you. I went. I was a Phi Gamma Delta, also known as a Fiji.

[Ben Higgins]

Bob Guinea.

[Bob Guiney]

Bob guinea here. Michigan State University. Alpha Tau Omega.

[Brett Adams]

Atos.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Oh, atos at my school were meatheads.

[Bob Guiney]

Pretty much everywhere.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Checks out, you know.

[Ben Higgins]

You know, Bob Guiney was a college quarterback at Michigan State.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Of course I do.

[Ben Higgins]

Okay, good.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I went to the University of Mississippi, but we call it Ole Miss Hotty Toddy. And I was. I was a Sigma Chi, but I got kicked out.

[Ben Higgins]

Ben Higgins here, Indiana University. Acacia And I. Acacia. Yeah.

[Jennifer Kessler]

What is that?

[Dean Bell]

It's colored, Wells.

[Ben Higgins]

It's like a.

[Jennifer Kessler]

It's like a bug.

[Bob Guiney]

It's like a weird crayon color.

[Ben Higgins]

It's kind of like the bohemian, like grove. It's a secret society.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Did you make up something?

[Ben Higgins]

No, I didn't, Dean. Hey, thanks, Ben.

[Dean Bell]

This is Dean Bell reporting live. I went to University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. The Colorado PI Kappa Phi.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You were a bike.

[Dean Bell]

I'm just kidding. I was not in the loser. And I was not in. I didn't need to buy my friends. Wells, you were.

[Bob Guiney]

What are you, a gdi?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah.

[Dean Bell]

God damn Independence,

[Bob Guiney]

Gamma Delta Iota.

[Dean Bell]

That's exactly what I was. Because again, I didn't need to buy my friends. Bring this conversation. I got so much smack to talk.

[Ben Higgins]

All right, boys, we're gonna bring this back into a place of actual organization. I'm gonna start with Acacia. I'm gonna start with Bob guinea here. How many STDs were rampant in your house?

[Bob Guiney]

Personally or community?

[Brett Adams]

Both.

[Ben Higgins]

That's a real question that was sent in.

[Dean Bell]

You know.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You know what's. What's funny is that there's a girl in the sorority that was like. Next to us, it was Kappa Kappa Gamma that had an std. That was. She had Acacia.

[Bob Guiney]

What do you take for Acacia? Because that one was very popular as well.

[Jennifer Kessler]

A lot of pedicillin.

[Bob Guiney]

A lot of pedicillin. And I think you have to shave things.

[Dean Bell]

Wait, well, isn't she doing okay now?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah, no, she's dead now.

[Bob Guiney]

Acacia kills. Everyone knows that. I would say at any given time, you know, there's probably some stuff that could cause blindness, others that just made you kind of have itchy, rashy things.

[Ben Higgins]

But it was like a thing.

[Bob Guiney]

I don't know if necessarily it was a thing. I do know that we had a nickname list, like a phone list, and there were some nicknames on it, and one of the guys nicknames was the Alaskan King Crab.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Why was he called that?

[Bob Guiney]

He might have had a case of the crabs.

[Ben Higgins]

Ah.

[Bob Guiney]

Is that curable with Acacia?

[Ben Higgins]

I feel like Amy jumped on that real fast. It felt very personal. Yes, absolutely, it is. Hey, I don't have anything, but I want to provide accurate information for people listening. You didn't know that we weren't going to. You jumped on that way before we had a chance to respond. That felt very personal.

[Dean Bell]

Amy Sugarman, question for Bob. And just to be clear for the listeners out there. Yes, this is East Lansing. East Lansing, Michigan, in the 1940s. Is that right. Just to be clear, what's the thing?

[Jennifer Kessler]

I'm.

[Ben Higgins]

What was happening During World War II?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Was it tough?

[Bob Guiney]

Am I supposed to be here? Am I the oldest guy here? But thankfully, Brett's here, so the answer, no, I'm not.

[Dean Bell]

Okay, so you were in the fraternity, and then you got drafted to fight the World War.

[Bob Guiney]

Yes. You went to WW2, the Korean War.

[Ben Higgins]

Yes.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You were in MASH. I remember that.

[Bob Guiney]

I did star in MASH with Hot Lip Sulan.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah, I think that's.

[Dean Bell]

Bob.

[Ben Higgins]

I'm not going to even follow up, because I think it's a common answer for everybody here when it comes to a fraternity experience.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I. I'll say this, though. I think it's important to talk about. There was a health department, and I always thought it was funny because people would go to it because things were happening.

[Ben Higgins]

Here's my question.

[Dean Bell]

Why is that funny? That's the whole point of a health department.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Because this quite. This question was about STDs.

[Ben Higgins]

Yes.

[Dean Bell]

Well, that's a.

[Jennifer Kessler]

No one was going there because they had the flu.

[Dean Bell]

That experience is not solely on fraternities and sororities. Every college student has that experience. Okay. These GDIs on my side of the aisle were also.

[Ben Higgins]

Not me specifically, obviously.

[Bob Guiney]

Have you ever gotten an ointment or a salve?

[Ben Higgins]

Again, it feels like people are defending things they don't need to be defending right now.

[Dean Bell]

This fire department keeps fighting fires, and it doesn't make any sense.

[Ben Higgins]

And this is. This is about the fraternity sorority life.

[Jennifer Kessler]

We are not Dean.

[Ben Higgins]

It burns.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Good.

[Ben Higgins]

Brett Adams, in terms of dating a frat boy, how do you know if a guy is actually interested in you or not?

[Brett Adams]

If a guy's interested in me, I. That's a strange question.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Rivalry was.

[Ben Higgins]

A really good girl is asking this question. She's wondering in terms of, hey, she's interested in fraternity boy. You know, your buddies, you know, yourself. How do you. Like. How does she know that you're actually interested in her as a fraternity guy? Or is the answer that they just aren't?

[Brett Adams]

Well, I think between the fraternity, fraternities, and sororities, that it's pretty much conversation amongst friends and word gets around. And I would guess that this is such a strange question, like, how am I supposed to answer whether someone's interested or not? But I think it's word of mouth that your buddy says, hey, this girl's interested in you. I don't know. That's. This.

[Ben Higgins]

I think you're on the right track. Anytime in my college experience, if, like, somebody who's interested in somebody else. There would be at least the conversation where the girl would be like, is he actually interested in me? And a buddy would be able to be like, 100% he is or not.

[Brett Adams]

Yes. But I also think guys will push their buddies into being interested whether they are or not.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah. Especially, like I'm gonna say this, date parties.

[Bob Guiney]

Ah, yes.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Remember date parties. Loved them. Day parties were a great opportunity to meet new people. And what I remember from those parties was

[Brett Adams]

lots of alcohol.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yes. And a lot of people saying, wells, she doesn't like you.

[Ben Higgins]

Does that make a Wells Adams? Try harder.

[Jennifer Kessler]

This is why I'm here today.

[Dean Bell]

I've got a million questions, and I'm so sorry to interrupt because I know you're managing this whole question topic debate answer. You went to Kansas, you went to Michigan State, you went to Ole Miss, you went to Indiana. Those are all prestigious and large schools and universities, right?

[Ben Higgins]

Same with Colorado Christian University of Colorado Springs.

[Dean Bell]

The school so nice they had to use the state name twice.

[Ben Higgins]

Thank you, Ben.

[Dean Bell]

Why on earth would either of you charismatic individuals ever need to be. Be in a position to meet more girls? Because you're always going to be out and about at any of these great schools. Right? And like, what. What is the. What is the incentive to go into a fraternity to. To meet more girls when you can already just go out onto the street? We couldn't drink.

[Bob Guiney]

We couldn't drink on campus. We had to have off campus housing.

[Dean Bell]

You couldn't drink on campus.

[Brett Adams]

Well, I guess also some of us are not as charismatic as you are. We need some help.

[Jennifer Kessler]

So we don't all have a mustache.

[Bob Guiney]

That's right. I couldn't grow that mustache if my life depended on it.

[Dean Bell]

Okay, this. Okay, another question, Brett. First of all, how dare you? Because you are the most. You have more charisma in your one finger than I do in my entire body.

[Brett Adams]

That's not true. Don't sell yourself short.

[Dean Bell]

That's a genuine, honest question that I have. I went to a school that was probably a quarter of the size of all of your schools. And there was never an issue of, like, meeting someone or. No, that's not what I'm trying to get at, Ben. Or making friends. And I'm not trying to disparage any of this decision making, whether it's in a sorority or fraternity or anything. I'm just curious, like, what is the incentive on your guys's part?

[Brett Adams]

Do you have any friends that went to Colorado State University?

[Ben Higgins]

Oh, my gosh.

[Brett Adams]

That you knew before you Went to school?

[Ben Higgins]

Yes.

[Dean Bell]

So many.

[Brett Adams]

Okay. I went to University of Kansas. I did not know one soul.

[Dean Bell]

Well, I didn't go.

[Brett Adams]

That was my intro into college and to get friends to acclimate myself. So I didn't have the luxury that you did, Dean.

[Dean Bell]

Which is what?

[Jennifer Kessler]

You had friends already? No, no, no.

[Brett Adams]

And charisma.

[Dean Bell]

I thought you were asking if I

[Ben Higgins]

had friends that went to different schools. Did you have friends that went one.

[Bob Guiney]

So I. I will say this. I. I also think at a larger school, sometimes it helps to have some ways to make that place smaller. Like for me, the football team made it really small. The frat made it even smaller. It was like I felt like I was. I knew everybody. So I went to school with two guys that, that I knew, but because I was on the football team, I didn't live with them. I was in the football dorm. I got to know a ton of people from that. But then the fraternity made it even smaller. So from that perspective, yeah, I took a really big school and made it really small.

[Brett Adams]

And you got to meet girls pretty easily.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah. Yeah. You knew one. One or two people. Two people you knew zero people.

[Brett Adams]

Zero.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I knew one person. Ole Ms. Foreign.

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Is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair, 150 milligrams is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Xolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection, or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair. This is an advertisement for Xolair paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

[Gia Giudice]

Tell me if I'm alone here, Dirty rush listeners. But shopping used to feel more fun before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes. But I have a confession. I found that fun feeling again on ebay. Because ebay, it's not just shopping, it's a full on fashion pursuit. And when you find the thing that adrenaline hit is real, like when you score that rare Adidas collab that's lived on your mood board, that Dior saddlebag you ripped out of a magazine in 2007 and never got over. Or something like the cel bonsen xgt 21 60s that sold out in five seconds. Yeah, those. It's all about the thrill of finding pieces that feel like me. And I want you to find pieces that feel like you. There's always more to discover. Ebay has millions of pre loved finds from hundreds of brands backed by ebay. Authenticity Guarantee Ebay Things people Love hi,

[Joe Winterstein]

this is Joe Winterstein, host of the Spirit Daughter podcast where we talk about astrology, natal charts and how to step into your most vibrant life. And I just sat down with a mini driver, the Irish traveler said when I was 16. You're going to have a terrible time with men. Actor, storyteller and unapologetic Aquarian visionary. Aquarius is all about freedom loving and different perspectives and I find a lot of people with strong placements in Aquarius like are Misunderstood a Sun and Venus in Aquarius in her seventh house spark her unconventional approach to partnership.

[Ben Higgins]

He really has taught me to embrace

[Joe Winterstein]

people sleeping in different rooms, on different houses, in different places, but just an embracing of the isness of it all. If you're navigating your own transformation or just want a chart side view into how a leading artist integrates astrology, creativity and real life, this episode is a must. Listen Listen to the Spirit Daughter podcast starting on February 24th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

[Ben Higgins]

What do you do when the headlines don't explain what's happening inside of you? I'm Ben Higgins and if you can hear me is where culture meets the soul, a place for real conversation. Each episode I sit down with people from all walks of life, celebrities, thinkers and everyday folks. And we go deeper than the polished story. We talk about what drives us, what shapes us, and what gives us hope. We get honest about the big stuff. Identity when you don't recognize yourself anymore. Law that changes you purpose when success isn't enough Peace when your mind won't slow down. Faith when it's complicated. Some guests have answers, most are still figuring it out. If you've ever felt like there has to be more to the story, this show is for you. Listen to if you can hear me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My question is, when you went to a date party, did you ask the girl you had a crush on or did you ask the girl you were friends with?

[Bob Guiney]

I. I will say this. I went to a lot of date parties as a friend that ended up, you know, potentially benefits. Having benefits.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah.

[Bob Guiney]

But I, I did have, I didn't date. I didn't ask anybody I had a crush with necessarily because I just went to the sorority date parties. They were way more fun.

[Ben Higgins]

And to be honest, I think the reason why I went out to parties and invited new people and tried to meet girls was also just like that acceptance of, hey, I have like attractive girlfriends that can like, I will see at the bars. It was like almost like a fun like, like community that you were building of like, oh, no, you. My buddy's coming with me. I know so and so, girl, let's go sit within the night. That's totally cool. I've gone to two date parties with her. We're good friends and all of her friends are attractive. And that's like, almost like a status thing for me where I'm like, my buddies are coming with me to meet the good looking girls at the bar.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Ben was just collecting hot chicks.

[Ben Higgins]

From what I understand.

[Bob Guiney]

Zach, you relate to the party. We need to ask real quick, have you ever had a bad case of Acacia?

[Xolair Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Brett Adams]

Yeah. Bad case of Acacia. Sure. Plenty.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah.

[Brett Adams]

What's your take?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Penicillin together.

[Bob Guiney]

It was, it was Ben's fraternity.

[Ben Higgins]

I'm gonna ask Wells this question. How fast do guys decide if a girl is just a hookup girl or a girlfriend material?

[Jennifer Kessler]

I think it happens instantly. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Dean. Yeah, I think it happened like, you know, immediately. No one's listening to this show.

[Bob Guiney]

700, 000 downloads yesterday.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah, I agree though. I think, you know, but I also think women feel the same way about men. I don't think it's.

[Brett Adams]

Women decide a lot quicker than men do.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yes. And they're like, I will hang out. I will tolerate you for another 20 minutes. Or not. So 20 minutes seems like. Honestly, I think it's more the other way around of like, I think that she's tolerating me right now.

[Brett Adams]

This is working out well.

[Ben Higgins]

This is awesome.

[Jennifer Kessler]

We might have sex. I might get Acacia tonight.

[Ben Higgins]

Zach Shawcross, I got a question for you. I think you're gonna be perfect for it. We all shared the STDs. We've dealt with in life.

[Brett Adams]

STDs.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah, no, we.

[Dean Bell]

No, no, no, we haven't.

[Bob Guiney]

Other than us all having a mutual case of occasion.

[Dean Bell]

I know you haven't shared that is because Wells is still not talking right now.

[Ben Higgins]

Okay. No, Zach, my real question for you, and this is written in by a sorority girl wanting to know these answers for the love. What is something. If you could go back to college, what is something in college that would give you the ick? Like make you completely turned off? And if anybody after Zach answers has any insight into chiming in on this, I think it is a helpful question.

[Brett Adams]

My God. In college, I. Let's just put it this way. I. Desperate is not the right word for myself, but it was pretty damn close. So not a lot of things gave me the ick. As a 305 pound offensive lineman at a not a great football school.

[Ben Higgins]

It's a great answer.

[Brett Adams]

Yeah.

[Bob Guiney]

So I'll tell you, you were okay with anything.

[Brett Adams]

You know, attention was awesome. I had standards, kind of.

[Bob Guiney]

I have a friend who used to say a great saying. He would always go, you know, Bob, if your standards are too high, lower them.

[Ben Higgins]

That's what he would say.

[Bob Guiney]

I swear to God, I was like, brilliant.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I don't know.

[Ben Higgins]

I think of that. I don't know if my insight into this. When it comes to college, that man was deep.

[Bob Guiney]

Rogers.

[Brett Adams]

Well, college is like, yeah, yeah. I want to hear what you have to say. Ben.

[Ben Higgins]

I think I thought you were going in this direction. I think in college, any. What gave me the ick was anybody that felt too forward and like, interested in talking about, like a future too quickly. Like in college, I was not in the space to ever think about marriage. I was there to figure myself out and have a good time. And if anybody, like on a date or at a bar or a date party would corner me and be like, you know, define this. What is this? I would be like, hey, it's not my thing.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I thought you were about to say,

[Brett Adams]

they're too into me. And I'm like, are you kidding me? What kind of problem is that? Okay. Interested?

[Ben Higgins]

No.

[Brett Adams]

We can all beat around the bush, but the ick.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah.

[Brett Adams]

Is a stinky vagina.

[Ben Higgins]

I don't disagree. I mean, is anybody here gonna say no? Bob, do you literally disagree?

[Jennifer Kessler]

My.

[Bob Guiney]

Like, my mic doesn't seem to be working.

[Brett Adams]

That's like a literal icky. Hey. What? We are laying it all out.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Easton, let's go ahead and cut that. God.

[Ben Higgins]

Yes.

[Bob Guiney]

I didn't know that we were laying it all out. I thought we were kind of.

[Ben Higgins]

This is 100 laying it all. Here's a. Okay, let me just ask that question based off of Brett's response.

[Dean Bell]

Oh, my God.

[Bob Guiney]

That's why I'm so glad you're here. Brett just makes my life so much easier.

[Ben Higgins]

From zero to 60. I couldn't even get him to talk five minutes ago.

[Brett Adams]

I was told that this is no hold fault.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah, this is the safe place, whatever it is.

[Brett Adams]

And when you say Nick, it's.

[Ben Higgins]

I'm sorry, but it's not a safety tree. But no, to Brett's point, Nate, Brett might be the only one willing to say it. But to Brett's point, if you run into that situation in college, is it not talked about amongst your fraternity brothers?

[Brett Adams]

One hundred.

[Ben Higgins]

A hundred percent. So is he wrong?

[Dean Bell]

No, he's wrong in my opinion. Granted, I didn't have frustrated.

[Bob Guiney]

You didn't talk about that with your fraternity bro brother.

[Dean Bell]

Well, I have fraternity brothers. That was never like a topic in my experience, at least.

[Brett Adams]

Think you'd be okay. For you, I mean.

[Ben Higgins]

Are you saying you're good, Dean? Respond or.

[Brett Adams]

It doesn't exist in Colorado.

[Dean Bell]

Yeah, it's just so tricky.

[Brett Adams]

It is the cleanest, most sanitary place in America.

[Dean Bell]

Fully pulling myself back to college, I got one thing to say. A stinky vagina is still better than no vagina.

[Ben Higgins]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dean Bell]

And I think we can all agree on that.

[Ben Higgins]

Goodness. I can't wait. I can't wait for that to become a headline on Us Weekly.

[Jennifer Kessler]

The name of this podcast is going to be Sticky. It's better than no.

[Ben Higgins]

That is such a good quote from Dean right there. That's all we need.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Hold on. Can I give a normal answer? Oh, or like a.

[Brett Adams]

A good about stinky vagina?

[Jennifer Kessler]

No, there's nothing worse than someone talking about their family.

[Ben Higgins]

Oh, yeah.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I don't need to know about your parents.

[Ben Higgins]

See, I want.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I don't care what's happening over there.

[Dean Bell]

No, you want to know over there

[Jennifer Kessler]

in your thing, that's fine.

[Brett Adams]

Okay, like, no, you don't want to. You don't want to know about the person you're talking to.

[Ben Higgins]

No, you don't want to remember they're a daughter.

[Brett Adams]

Are you talking about a Fox News?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Let's be honest.

[Brett Adams]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Dean Bell]

He was.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Everyone's parents watches Fox News in this room right now. All right, okay, okay.

[Brett Adams]

And the second that you start talking about their family.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Let me talk. Let me talk about your parents.

[Brett Adams]

Okay?

[Jennifer Kessler]

They're like, well, they love Tucker Carlson. You're like, I Got to go.

[Brett Adams]

They watched which halftime show?

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Brett Adams]

Yes.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I don't care.

[Dean Bell]

There.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Let's go. Have a lovely day.

[Brett Adams]

But you just met this person and they say, oh, no.

[Jennifer Kessler]

The question wasn't to beat them. The question was, what gives you the. The ick? And someone's like, well, let me tell you, my dad, he loves Tucker Carlson. You're like,

[Brett Adams]

true, true. I gotta go.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah.

[Dean Bell]

This is what's hard to hear from a GDI's perspective on this is Ben said marriage too quickly. You said family too quickly. For me, it was like, you guys are already talking about taking it to that level. Never in my experience did I experience.

[Ben Higgins]

What were you talking about?

[Dean Bell]

My biggest dick in college was a girl that was, like, addicted to meth. You know what I mean?

[Brett Adams]

Fair.

[Dean Bell]

In Colorado Springs, there was a fair bit of that.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Okay, where did you go to school?

[Bob Guiney]

Not a good place in the Colorado Springs campus.

[Dean Bell]

Ben is like, oh, she's trying to get married too quickly. Well, I was like, she's trying to make introduced me to her parents too quickly. I'm like, oh, my gosh, you're not doing meth. That's awesome.

[Ben Higgins]

I'm in.

[Bob Guiney]

You have all your teeth, for God's sake.

[Dean Bell]

It was rough out there.

[Ben Higgins]

Okay. Speaking of hygiene.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Oh, my God, none of this is usable.

[Brett Adams]

It's gonna just be blank.

[Ben Higgins]

You'd be surprised. Yeah, it's very usable. Speaking of hygiene, Bob Guinea. Oh, jeez. Were you ever worried about your living conditions at the fraternity house?

[Bob Guiney]

No, I'm super OCD anal weirdo. You know about that?

[Ben Higgins]

You're clean in college?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah.

[Bob Guiney]

Yeah, my roommates weren't always, but you

[Ben Higgins]

weren't in a fraternity, but were you ever worried about the cleanliness of the home that you were living in?

[Dean Bell]

Well, okay.

[Brett Adams]

Not a chance in hell.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I'm concerned about the homies currently.

[Dean Bell]

Whoa.

[Jennifer Kessler]

No.

[Dean Bell]

I shared a room with the, the young man for a good couple years there.

[Jennifer Kessler]

And was he also a raccoon?

[Dean Bell]

He was king raccoon. I, I, I mean, you guys know me.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You.

[Dean Bell]

Oh, most of you guys know me pretty well. I'm not the. I. Pretty easy going when it comes to that. That stuff. Right. So it's like, oh, don't worry about showering for a couple weeks. Don't worry about wiping your butt after you go to the bathroom. You know, as long as you're happy, I'm happy, basically. But there were a couple times where, you know, you're in a place and you're like, I Was like, are you gonna clean himself ever? And they probably thought the same thing about me, too. And it's different, obviously, because you guys were all on fraternities and you're living closer to each other than we are, or I am with my friends. But, yes, I was worried about my friends. Sanitation a couple times.

[Ben Higgins]

How often, Brett, were you washing your sheets in college?

[Brett Adams]

That is a very good question.

[Jennifer Kessler]

That's the best one so far.

[Brett Adams]

In the circle of truth here, I would maybe hope. I wash my sheets every two weeks. That's. That's good.

[Ben Higgins]

That's really good.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I agree. I think that's normal.

[Brett Adams]

Yeah.

[Bob Guiney]

I was a normal guy.

[Ben Higgins]

You were. Once.

[Brett Adams]

Oh, that's really.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah.

[Brett Adams]

Wells, we're not filthy like Dean.

[Dean Bell]

I would literally go once a semester. Yeah.

[Ben Higgins]

And I'm.

[Dean Bell]

I'll wear that badge proudly.

[Brett Adams]

All right.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You just put those sheets.

[Dean Bell]

Why would I wash my sheets when I'm going to bed after a shower?

[Brett Adams]

His sheets stand up.

[Dean Bell]

What does that even mean?

[Ben Higgins]

Sir, are you actually telling the truth right now?

[Xolair Advertisement Voice]

That you washed your.

[Ben Higgins]

That you washed your sheets in the fraternity?

[Brett Adams]

I don't like feeling dirty on a

[Ben Higgins]

weekly or twice a month. Baseless. Cause I was in a sorority, and I'm scrolling the brain right now to be like, did I ever wash my sheets? Like, And I'm a clean person.

[Bob Guiney]

Yeah.

[Xolair Advertisement Voice]

Because.

[Ben Higgins]

Did you have a washer dryer in the fraternity?

[Bob Guiney]

I did. Yes.

[Brett Adams]

Yeah, we didn't have, like, working water, but we had, like, a washer and dryer.

[Ben Higgins]

I do think you're unique.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Fluff and fold guys.

[Bob Guiney]

I'm weird with that stuff.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah. I. I was gonna say, I think it's a unique group where I know enough about all of you to believe you like telling the truth. Because I think all of us, like, even since college, high school, we were washing our sheets often because we want to be clean. I've always been weird about my sheets,

[Bob Guiney]

especially when you have that much business rolling through those sheets on a weekly basis.

[Jennifer Kessler]

And when you're struggling for all of us, Bob.

[Ben Higgins]

Curiosity, Ben, because I.

[Jennifer Kessler]

And when you're struggling with Acacia, when

[Bob Guiney]

you got a bad case of Acacia, you want to keep that clean.

[Ben Higgins]

We also have 1, 2, 3, 4, like, 6 sorority girls, just by a show of hands, who wash their sheets once a week.

[Brett Adams]

Really? That's impressive.

[Dean Bell]

Beautiful.

[Brett Adams]

What's that tell you about you?

[Xolair Advertisement Voice]

This is.

[Ben Higgins]

Let me.

[Dean Bell]

I gotta interject. This is what it is. All of you. All of you folk over here.

[Ben Higgins]

They're lying.

[Dean Bell]

Okay. There's part of that, too, but it's just it's a rich folk thing to wash your sheets all that often.

[Ben Higgins]

Okay.

[Jennifer Kessler]

That's what it is.

[Dean Bell]

If you can wash your sheets once a week, that means you have a backup set of sheets that you can put on the bed while the other sheet is washing. And a lot of that's not how sheets work.

[Brett Adams]

Sheets take.

[Ben Higgins]

Like, when does that time you cleaned your own sheets. That's not how sheets work.

[Dean Bell]

Okay, Richie. Yeah, I understand what you're getting at.

[Ben Higgins]

Ivory towels.

[Dean Bell]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Okay.

[Dean Bell]

I washed my sheets one time. They disintegrate in the dryer because that's how poor quality they were. Okay. That's why we couldn't do it in Colorado Springs.

[Jennifer Kessler]

He's got seven thread count.

[Dean Bell]

Okay, Richies.

[Ben Higgins]

I didn't know. Like, it is still a thing in my life now. I don't let shoes ever touch the bed. Like when my wife packs and she puts her. Like, don't throw your wife under the bus luggage up there. No, it's there. We. We do it in our home. There is never a shoe that touches the bed while we pack. In fact, luggage doesn't even hardly touch our bed because that's been so many different places. That is a sacred place for sacred things to happen.

[Brett Adams]

Sacred.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah.

[Dean Bell]

All right.

[Xolair Advertisement Voice]

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[Gia Giudice]

Tell me if I'm alone here. Dirty Rush listeners. But shopping used to feel more fun before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes. But I have a confession. I found that fun feeling again on ebay. Because ebay, it's not just shopping, it's a full on fashion pursuit. And when you find the thing that adrenaline hit is real, like when you score that rare Adidas collab that's lived on your mood board, that Dior saddlebag you ripped out of a magazine in 2007 and never got over. Or something like The Cecily Bonsen XGT 2160s that sold out in five seconds. Yeah, those. It's all about the thrill of finding pieces that feel like me. And I want you to find pieces that feel like you. There's always more to discover. Ebay has millions of pre loved finds from hundreds of brands backed by ebay. Authenticity guarantee eBay things people love hi,

[Joe Winterstein]

this is Joe Winterstein, host of the Spirit Daughter podcast where we talk about astrology, natal charts and how to step into your most vibrant life. And I just sat down with a mini driver, the Irish traveler said when I was 16. You're gonna have a terrible time with men. Actor, storyteller and unapologetic Aquarian visionary. Aquarius is all about freedom loving and different perspectives and I find a lot of people with strong placements in Aquarius like are Misunderstood A Sun and Venus in Aquarius in her seventh house spark her unconventional approach to partnership.

[Ben Higgins]

He really has taught me to embrace people sleeping in different rooms on different

[Joe Winterstein]

houses, houses in different places, but just an embracing of the isness of it all. If you're navigating your own transformation or just want a chart side view into how a leading artist integrates astrology, creativity and real life, this episode is a must. Listen Listen to the Spirit Daughter podcast starting on February 24th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcast.

[Ben Higgins]

What do you do when the headlines don't explain what's happening inside of you? I'm Ben Higgins and if you can hear me is where culture meets the soul. A place for real conversation. Each episode I sit down with people from all walks of life, celebrities, thinkers and everyday folks. And we go deeper than the polished story. We talk about what drives us, what shapes us and what gives us hope. We get honest about the big stuff. Identity when you don't recognize yourself anymore. Loss that changes you purpose when success isn't enough. Peace when your mind won't slow down. Faith when it's complicated. Some guests have answers. Most are still Figuring it out. If you've ever felt like there has to be more to the story, this show is for you. Listen to if youf Can Hear me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're gonna go back to Wells for this one. Be honest. There is a beautiful girl that you have shown interest in, and she's shown interest back. How important to you, is it that she gets good grades?

[Jennifer Kessler]

No.

[Ben Higgins]

In addition to

[Dean Bell]

sor.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Just so everyone knows, I didn't say that.

[Bob Guiney]

Yeah, I prefer bad grades.

[Xolair Advertisement Voice]

You.

[Ben Higgins]

Here's the scenario. You invite her to a date party. You've been into her physically, you show up and she.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I've been into.

[Bob Guiney]

You've been into her physically.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Physically, you show up to the date

[Ben Higgins]

party and she drops the bomb that, like, hey, I'm going to actually be here an extra semester because I just failed three of my five classes.

[Brett Adams]

Marry her.

[Ben Higgins]

Does that, Is it a bad thing? Good thing. Do you not care?

[Jennifer Kessler]

The fact that I graduated from college is a wild thought experiment for me. So the fact that someone else might have done that, I'm totally fine with maybe them taking five years of which I took. I like to call it a victory lap.

[Ben Higgins]

You know what's good?

[Jennifer Kessler]

My wife didn't go to college. She's very smart. But I like to think that, like, it doesn't matter how long it takes you to get through college. If you love someone or you find someone, it's pretty great. And if they have Acacia, you know,

[Bob Guiney]

there's penicillin for that.

[Brett Adams]

Yeah, there's penicillin.

[Ben Higgins]

I don't know how, like, a Gamma didn't get added to this list. That feels like, like a beta.

[Bob Guiney]

Like that is a beta.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You hated that answer.

[Ben Higgins]

I just don't think you're telling the truth. I think the truth would be you don't care if they got good grades.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I don't care.

[Brett Adams]

I don't.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I mean, to be honest with you, I really don't care.

[Dean Bell]

Something. There's something attractive about a girl that gets good, great, better grades than you do. At least in my opinion. I, I, I don't see how you couldn't. If the girl's more smarter than you or more applied than you are. That's kind of hot, I think, right? Yeah.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah, I see that that point too.

[Dean Bell]

I'm not saying that you're wrong, obviously. I'm just saying there is inherently more.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I don't care. I don't care if you're, like, super smart or not that smart. As long as, like, we connect on some sort of, like, emotional level, that's all that really matters to me.

[Dean Bell]

I always felt like. I feel like I'm just talking. Every time you ask well's a question,

[Ben Higgins]

I'm like, here I go. Yeah, tell me more, Dean. Let me tell you how I feel.

[Dean Bell]

Every time there was a girl that was way smarter and way more applied than I was, I was like, I gotta find a way to talk to her. You know, not for. For any other reason than me. Just be like, she's way better than I am and I need to prove to myself that maybe I can be on her level.

[Ben Higgins]

That's at least a moment.

[Dean Bell]

That's what I'm saying. So there's something inherently attractive about. And you're a lot smarter than you.

[Ben Higgins]

And you never thought, like, I want to date her because she's gonna make more money than me and she can potentially just. Just float this life.

[Dean Bell]

Listen, listen, listen. As someone that's married to someone that makes way more money than he does,

[Ben Higgins]

it was a great decision.

[Dean Bell]

It's not. It's not something I strived for, I

[Brett Adams]

guess, but you fall through.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah, but you did a great job doing it.

[Jennifer Kessler]

So did I. Dude.

[Bob Guiney]

Nice work, boys.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Good job.

[Ben Higgins]

Brett, I'm coming back to you for this one. Best and worst pledge experience.

[Jennifer Kessler]

The.

[Ben Higgins]

The scenario here set up by the question was, hey, is it ever frustrating for guys as they try to get into a fraternity? The pledgeship is so long. Girls don't really do the pledging. It's more fun and, like, exciting for everybody. But the guys kind of go through, like, a really tough few weeks as they lead up to getting accepted into the fraternity. Was that ever frustrating for you? But then also shared the best things that come out of pledge.

[Brett Adams]

Yeah, I mean, pledship sucks. I think all these guys will tell you that it's horrible. The Actives make your life as miserable as possible. It's not fun. And for however long it is, whether it's four months, nine months, whatever it is, it is a miserable time that you think or they tell you that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and to keep going. My worst experience during that was, you know, obviously the accessibility the Actives had that could wake you up at any time of the night for whatever they needed. If they wanted omelet made at 3 o' clock in the morning because they came home drunk, you had to do that. That sucked. The bond that I made with the guys, I am much older than most of you guys. Here and those. That's right. Except for you, Bob. Thank God. Thank God we are here together holding hands. But I will tell you that the bond that I made with these guys, I still have a text chain with all my fraternity brothers. I still see them every year, and I think that is pretty special. Despite whether you think that a fraternity is good or not, at my age, to still have the friendships that I have with these guys, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[Ben Higgins]

And I think it's the point of doing this whole thing. Zach, final question. We're going to throw back to a question we've already asked before. We open it up to a second part of this episode where we get live.

[Jennifer Kessler]

There's another part.

[Dean Bell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Higgins]

Because I don't know how well we actually answered this, but how did you know in college if a girl was just a hookup or a girlfriend?

[Brett Adams]

I was here for that part.

[Ben Higgins]

Oh, you were there, but I don't think you actually were.

[Bob Guiney]

His answer was not clearly very memorable.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I remember falling a step behind.

[Brett Adams]

Wait, so what was the question?

[Ben Higgins]

You were, in fact, not here for this part. Your first question asked was more about the ick. But this was, how do you know if a girl was just a hookup or girlfriend material?

[Brett Adams]

Okay. I walked in right when you guys were talking about this. I would say, how would you know? I mean, it's pretty immediate, but, like, I piggyback off what you said. Like, they're making the decision before, like, and I'm gonna lean on this again. I didn't have the wherewithal to make. Have that decision. I didn't have that thought process, really. I was like, hell, yeah, whatever. Let's go.

[Ben Higgins]

Could you.

[Brett Adams]

Hey, you want to talk sweet Based on. Oh, we want to go further. Cool too.

[Ben Higgins]

Based on Zach's answer and well's answer. Would we all agree? Because I think this is, like, revolutionary for so many that when we're in college specifically, I think girls in a lot of ways want the guy to be interested. And really the message that you guys are sending is really the guys are just hoping the girls interest.

[Brett Adams]

Is this like a lesson thing or. It's also like, in life in general, that's whether you're in college or not.

[Ben Higgins]

But I think that was.

[Brett Adams]

We don't hold the cards, my man. Yeah, we really.

[Ben Higgins]

I think that's the point.

[Jennifer Kessler]

We've never been in charge.

[Ben Higgins]

We've never been in charge. And I mean, I do think that is like a note to take from this is all of us are sitting here Being like, we never felt in charge.

[Dean Bell]

No, no.

[Brett Adams]

We're just trying to figure it out. We had no idea what we're doing. Still don't.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Don't.

[Brett Adams]

But, like, figuring out on the fly.

[Ben Higgins]

But a pretty girl's interested in you, you are ecstatic and feeling very lucky. And I think in their mind, they're like, I hope he's interested me. And you're like, oh, yeah, have been. Will be wannabe.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yeah.

[Dean Bell]

Can I give a closing thought on this segment?

[Jennifer Kessler]

I have a thought after your thought.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah. You go first, Wells.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Well, so this whole thing's supposed to be about fraternities and sororities, right? Like, that's the idea. Which is like, a community of people that are, like, coming together and enjoying each other's company. And we are, at this point. Don't laugh at me. You laugh, too. In our community, we used to have these things that, like, people would, like, go and join and, like, it was. It was usually the church, right? Like, people would come to the church and then they drop their kids off and then they would do, like, church activities or whatever. And it was like this sense of community, and that's gone away. Let's be realistic. Like, that's just not what's happening in a lot of the communities around here. And I think that the one thing that is cool about sororities and fraternities is that, like, it's a sense of community. Everyone wants to feel like they're a part of something. And even though I was kicked out of my fraternity, like, it was a cool period of my life where I felt like I was a part of something. And so I get it. Like, I get the dirty rush thing of it all.

[Ben Higgins]

And you still. Even though you were removed from the fraternity, your friendships today, you still have.

[Jennifer Kessler]

From that fraternity, you come to my fraternity golf tournament every year.

[Ben Higgins]

That was a statement for you to open. Open it up. Say, yes. Every year you come to. I know that, but the listener does.

[Jennifer Kessler]

You hang out with every Sigma Kai that I ever hung out with.

[Ben Higgins]

We go to a golf event every year with, like, 30 people.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Yes.

[Ben Higgins]

From.

[Jennifer Kessler]

And I love all those people. And. And half of them were at my wedding. And, yes, it's a.

[Ben Higgins]

The listener does not know that.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Sorry. So I'm so sorry we've been drinking. But, yeah, it's a lovely community that, like, maybe a lot of people don't get to experience. But even though I was kicked out of this thing, it's still a big part of my life.

[Ben Higgins]

It's still buddies. You've Seen for years later. Dean, what was your thought?

[Dean Bell]

I can give a closing statement now, thanks. Okay.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Whoa, dude.

[Dean Bell]

Everyone put your mic.

[Jennifer Kessler]

I feel like I did a good thing.

[Dean Bell]

Let's all grab hands. No, my closing statement wanted to be. I. I think the concept of this podcast is great, and I think it's so fun to take a trip down memory lane. What I wanted to say was I feel like a piece of shit and a loser from just yesterday. My embarrassment and my shame that I feel from yesterday, so big. But even going back to college is bigger and stronger than ever, right? So to take a step back to college and remember how maybe, like, unsure of myself I was, or uncertain or not confident or whatever it might have been, and especially when I was back in college, I look back at that and I have a lot of gratitude, obviously, for being able to make it out of that. But how I was back then, I was so stupid, for lack of a better word. And so when I think about us being in fraternities, or you guys being in fraternities or whatever, or the listeners being in sororities, it's such an important aspect of your life, but it's also such a blip on the radar. And it feels like such an old head thing to say to be like, it doesn't really matter. And of course to you guys, it does. Like you just said, your. Your fraternity brothers are such a big part of your life. My experience is different because I didn't have that. But I look back on those days and you're asking us these questions where it's like, how did you feel about this at that point? And I'm like, well, honestly, I was just an idiot back then. And I think that's the most important, in my opinion, the most important takeaway to remember that everyone, especially the guys in the fraternities, are. Are idiots when they're 20, 19 to 23 years old. They're so stupid. At least I was. I was so stupid at that age, right? I still think I'm stupid, but I was especially stupid back then. And anything that they feel or any way that they act or react to anything you do is so irrelevant and so fucking stupid because those guys are stupid. And you shouldn't put much stock into what a guy thinks at you. I'm sorry. Of you at that age. Age because they're a idiot.

[Ben Higgins]

It's a season of development, not definition. So it doesn't define you, but it develops.

[Jennifer Kessler]

So let's talk about that. What is college? Is college a place where you're supposed to go get higher learning or is college a place where you're supposed to figure out how to live by yourself as a normal?

[Bob Guiney]

I think you learn social skills. I think you learned social.

[Ben Higgins]

I couldn't tell you two things that's

[Jennifer Kessler]

more important than the edited, like the journalism degree that I got. I don't know if I think is as valuable as like, I figured out how to do taxes and I figured out how to like deal with people. Yeah, all that stuff.

[Ben Higgins]

And I don't know again, it's development. It's, it's not for so many of us. It's such an important four years, five years, six years, whatever.

[Jennifer Kessler]

Dude,

[Bob Guiney]

why you hating?

[Jennifer Kessler]

Honest.

[Ben Higgins]

Yeah, but it is. It's a, I graduated.

[Bob Guiney]

We got through it.

[Ben Higgins]

It's a season. And I think there's a lot of mistakes made, a lot of stories to be told, a lot of embarrassing moments, a lot of nights out with the boys. Now that you can be like, you remember when you did that, Brett? That was wild. But it isn't who you are today. And I think that's always, I think that's a lesson that we all have in life. But 100%, it's the social skills. We're going to pause here. We'll come back with a second episode with live questions that have been burning on the hearts of some of America's top sorority girls.

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Listen to the 6th Bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Joe Winterstein]

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So I'm, like, delusionally proud of my chart.

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