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Podcast Host
This is an iHeart podcast.
Justin Richmond
This is Justin Richmond from Broken Record. Are you the kind of person who sets standards for themselves? Like, personally, I told myself if the Lakers lose their do or die Game five, I wouldn't let it impact my mood at home with family. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feelings and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level. The standard of amazing results in machines that make you feel more human, because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing. Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer.
Ryan Seacrest
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Menage a Trois Representative
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Jenna Ushkowitz
This is Jenna ashkowitz and Kevin McHale.
Podcast Host
From and that's what you really missed. Jenna, did you get your delivery?
Kevin McHale
I got my delivery, Kevin. I ripped it open. I'm like a stickler now that I have kids for having high quality products in our house all the time and Deetson Watson has done that. So like I'm not afraid that when Emma wants to eat all my prosciutto, because she will, that it's okay for her to do that. Dietz and Watson has been handcrafting premium meats and artisan cheeses for over 85 years. They're family owned and operated and they never cut corners.
Podcast Host
Ever.
Jenna Ushkowitz
They do things the right way, even.
Podcast Host
If it's the hard way.
Kevin McHale
They're transparent about what goes into their food and what doesn't.
Podcast Host
They know good taste doesn't need a.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Long list of ingredients, and they stick.
Kevin McHale
To what matters, using the fewest, highest quality ingredients to craft their meats and cheeses.
Podcast Host
Visit dietzandwatson.com therightway to learn more about.
Disney Representative
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Jenna Ushkowitz
Two T's in a pod with Teddy Mellencamp and Tamara Judge.
Podcast Host
Hi, guys. Welcome to another episode of two T's in a Pod with myself and Dolores Catania.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Hello.
Podcast Host
How's it going, babe?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Oh, it's going good. Going good. Did you see who I was with yesterday? Your second half? Your other half.
Podcast Host
I saw that you were with Tammy. I.
Jenna Ushkowitz
We all missed you.
Podcast Host
I missed you guys. You all looked beautiful. I saw that you were Tam, and then I got a message from Shep and I was like, what the hell is Shep texting me at this time of day? And then it was him and a picture of Tam, and I was like, when were they together? Oh, my gosh.
Jenna Ushkowitz
It was the upfront.
Podcast Host
Well, I loved it. And I loved your dress. Know who's probably not loving life right now?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Who?
Podcast Host
Jesse from the Valley.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Let's talk.
Podcast Host
We've got a lot to talk about. So we do. We're at day two of Santa Barbara. It starts out where Jesse is upset that he and Michelle aren't able to coexist in Santa Barbara. He decided he was triggered the night before and he wanted to leave but decided not to. I was triggered by his underpants. Fully triggered by his underpants. But then Michelle, underpants. Well, because that's what they were. They were not boxers.
Jenna Ushkowitz
They weren't any type of. Yeah.
Podcast Host
Like, you know, when you have those undies too long, let's call them panties. When his panties. When you have your panties for too long and they get all stretched out and they no longer have the elasticity in it. That's.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Well, I never. I haven't worn panties enough since 1988 to get them to that point. I don't wear them often.
Podcast Host
Do you wear Thongs or do you go free?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Only thongs? No, I go free.
Podcast Host
I go free too. I'm a free too.
Jenna Ushkowitz
But I grew up thinking like, that was slutty, right? Like my mother would be like, what did I raise? You have no underpants on. And I, you know, but so I wear a thong when I have to. I have one on because I just had a lymphatic massage here, so I didn't want her to have to see this thing.
Podcast Host
I'm sure she would have been like, woo, this thing is adorable.
Jenna Ushkowitz
It's cute.
Podcast Host
It's cute.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I've done some work on that, so.
Podcast Host
Well, you know, we've all done a lot of work, so we got to get. We got to make things happen. But then Michelle says she knew she would be bothered by him throwing the ball at to her and the gratitude circle. And Michelle says Jesse is insane for thinking she would say something nice about him when he had just called her an escort. Then Jax has already been texting Brittany this morning. Jax says he's the rage texting. The rage texting. Go ahead.
Jenna Ushkowitz
He needs his ass beat. Okay, I understand. He's going through so much. You've dragged this girl through the mud for the past I don't know how many years. Okay? You've put your family through hell. You're in rehab. You are not humbled. You're not. You are not on starting off on the right foot. You don't have any business rage texting, texting. You should be feeling like what I put this girl through. She deserves to be having a good time. Let me give her peace instead. No, this guy is not on the road. I don't have a lot of options.
Podcast Host
But he doesn't give two shits about Britney. He cares about being on the show. And that's really what bothers me. He's upset because she's filming and he's not.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah, he's upset that he's not at the casita or whatever you call that thing that they're at.
Podcast Host
Well, then I wondered at some point during this episode if maybe my tumors were getting bigger because I liked Zach and Michelle during this episode.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Well, now Michelle will feel much better about Tamara calling her AI. Now that you're saying that you like her.
Podcast Host
I. Listen, I'm not saying I like her. I'm saying you like to this episode.
Jenna Ushkowitz
But this is what happens. We get to, you know, we can change the way we feel about people with the information or the things that.
Podcast Host
Happen, but what we're given. And yeah, Zach didn't even bother me. And I did appreciate that at some point in this episode, we found out that Zach is not wearing a toupee.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah. How about that?
Podcast Host
How about them apples?
Jenna Ushkowitz
I am impressed.
Podcast Host
And then did you notice that right after they said that, then all of a sudden I could see his hairline. I was like, was that shady editors doing that? Because now I see his hairline.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I know. I think it was shady. I think it was a little shady. Edit. I'm just gonna say, but I'm okay with was fun shade. It wasn't like I'll ruin your life shade.
Podcast Host
No, I liked it. I love that kind of shade.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah, that's what we're looking for. Let's evolve into the shade we can come back from.
Podcast Host
And Jesse, my pal, my friend. What the hell? Why would you feel the need to drink two bottles of Corbel before you went wine tasting? That is never going to end well. I swear, I think it said Corbel on the. On the champagnes. Gross. How bad that hangover is.
Jenna Ushkowitz
It's sugar and it's like a. It's like nothing's worse than a cheap.
Podcast Host
Hangover or bad decisions that you make when you're drinking Corbel, which I've made a ton of them.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You just so you know.
Podcast Host
Oh, I know. I mean, Corbel and strawberry wine, it's a problem. Those were things that I drank when I was younger, like South Carolina drinks and. Oh, shit, though.
Jenna Ushkowitz
The sweet drinks.
Podcast Host
But the group goes wine tasting. But in my opinion, half of the group was already drunk before they left.
Jenna Ushkowitz
They were 100. It's not your opinion, it's a fact. They were drunk and they need to be drunk to function.
Podcast Host
To function in that hot ass van. Which doesn't that feel like such a production thing to happen? The van breaks down.
Jenna Ushkowitz
They don't immediately have something else. It's so musty when there's a long ride and everybody's just. Yeah, but I've been in those long ride van rides. How long do you think it was? Well, you know where they went, right? And you know where they.
Podcast Host
Well, I'm guessing it was about a 45 minute drive, but. A 45 minute.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah, it felt like hours.
Podcast Host
Well, they're in Santa Barbara. They're heading to wine country. So I'm guessing they're heading to Montecito area. So that's about 45 minutes in a sprinter van. But then they have to go back. They have to find a gas station. Everybody at this point, if they are wearing panties, those Panties are soaked.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Oh, throw them out there.
Podcast Host
Jesse's being pretty. There's nothing worse than when one person's hammered and the rest of the people are just trying to get there. And Jesse's like, dancing and grinding and doing.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Oh, it's so annoying. It's. So unless they're all drunk, that is not gonna work.
Podcast Host
It's not gonna work. So everybody's already annoyed at Jesse. Maybe Jesse's just trying to get.
Jenna Ushkowitz
And Jesse's the one that planned the trip. Like Jesse is trying too hard to plan this fun trip again. Another trip where I say it doesn't make sense that Michelle is there.
Podcast Host
No. Why would she want to be there? But also my question is in regards to Jesse. You had a shit night the night before you decided you wanted to stay. You had a moment of thinking you didn't want to stay, and then you're like, you know what a good idea would be to binge drink prior to leaving?
Jenna Ushkowitz
No. In my stretched out underpants.
Podcast Host
And maybe he put on a new pair of stretch.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You think?
Podcast Host
Do you think they were white? You know, they normally come in a three pack, so do you think you wore a white pair?
Jenna Ushkowitz
White. But they're like gray, dingy gray now they're light yellow. And they. And they have like, you know, residual marks on them. I mean, you know, so they're sweating to death.
Podcast Host
Danny calls at one point, and Nia doesn't realize that the group is paying attention and she is giving him a lashing. At this point, I'm wondering, why is she yelling at him so bad? Do you think Danny is potentially already tipsy as well? Because at some point I found out he drove back the night before he had to leave. He left, but then he came back. But then she was already yelling at him before he got to the winery, and he already seemed a little. Two sheets to the. Is it two sheets or three sheets?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Three.
Podcast Host
Three sheets to the wind when he arrived.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Oh, so that's why she was yelling at him.
Podcast Host
Oh, I bet he took a car.
Jenna Ushkowitz
He would have had to like, but.
Podcast Host
I mean, I didn't think he was jogging, but I bet he took a car service. Yeah, so he's probably drinking some drinks. But anyhow, what about when they. When it's cars are pouring by so fast going, and then we see freaking Jesse out there trying to hitchhike.
Jenna Ushkowitz
What? What the hell is going on? Stop.
Podcast Host
If you drove by that, would you be like, hold on, let me pick up this group of hot mess fucking expresses.
Jenna Ushkowitz
No, no. Unless I was a serial Killer. No. Unless I wanted to, you know, torture them.
Podcast Host
Yeah. So then they're at the wine tasting, which in my past experiences, wine tasting has never ended up well on camera for me because I'm not one. I don't. I'm not. I'm not a sipper of anything. Like, I'm not a sipper of this Diet Coke.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I'm going to swag. You do a swig? Yeah, yeah. You're half. You're half the glass. Done. That would be me. But here's the thing. Wine tasting never ends well in any of the shows. If we can go back to Jersey circa, like, what was it, 2020? Like, let's go back, like, Jersey 10 years ago.
Podcast Host
Right.
Jenna Ushkowitz
There was a wine tasting.
Podcast Host
Joe, who was on the cast at this point. Sorry to interrupt.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You're not. So it is Theresa and Joe, Jacqueline and Chris. Jacqueline and Chris, Caroline and Albert. And Joe walks into the field to take a call during the wine tasting and is too drunk to realize everyone can hear him.
Podcast Host
Oh, God, I love when you don't realize how loud your voice is when you're drunk either. Like you're whispering, but meanwhile you're like, it, didn't it?
Jenna Ushkowitz
No movie voice. We need movie voice and asmr. If there was ever a time where there should have been one, that was it. So, yeah, the wine tastings are trouble, but it makes good tv.
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Ryan Seacrest
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Podcast Host
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Jenna Ushkowitz
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Podcast Host
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Justin Richmond
Cancel CT mobile.com this is Justin Richmond from Broken Record. Are you the kind of person who sets standards for themselves? Like, personally, I told myself if the Lakers lose or do or die game five, I wouldn't let it impact my mood at home with family. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feelings and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level. The standard of amazing results in machines that make you feel more human. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing experience. Amazing at your Lexus dealer.
Podcast Host
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Ryan Seacrest
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Podcast Host
Then Janet, you know, does the little joke to Zach and saying, you know, we're not good. When we were not good, I brought up the wig. They have this moment. Once again. Janet's joke didn't necessarily land, but I did appreciate it because I do think we got to the bottom of Wiggate.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Well, we needed to.
Podcast Host
We needed it.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah, it landed just fine.
Podcast Host
Okay, it landed. It gave what it needed to give.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah, I don't really care about how he felt about it. I needed that.
Podcast Host
I needed it too. But then Michelle and Jesse talk off to the side during wine tasting. Whoever thought this was a good idea. It was brilliant for us watching. Terrible for them in the middle of it.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Well, isn't that just what's more important? Us?
Podcast Host
Yeah, we enjoyed it. Jesse says they need to have a serious conversation. Michelle tells them that she's happy. Besides him being in the picture, that's kind of a low blow. Like I'm I can have much further talk.
Kevin McHale
Wow.
Jenna Ushkowitz
If he's missing, she is suspect number one. I don't give a what kind of alibi she got.
Podcast Host
She ain't got and Honeybee does not count as an alibi. I'm just putting it does not count.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I don't care if she's in the hospital getting a kidney or whatever it is it is she. If he's missing, she's it.
Podcast Host
She did it. Well, then she also says she's not happy with who Jesse is with. So this is the part where, listen, she's she's getting me this episode when she loses it and Starts screaming, I'm thrilled. But I'm like, just pretend you're happy with who he's with. Even if she's allegedly trying to come after the entire cast because she doesn't want her name mentioned. I do think there is something to it. If you're not on the show, you're not paying, you're not getting paid, you're.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Not on the payroll.
Podcast Host
You're allowed to say, I don't want to be talked about 100%.
Jenna Ushkowitz
But then don't go out with someone who's on the show.
Podcast Host
Oh, that's a good point.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You know, this is. It's no secret what we do for a living. And right out of the box, unless someone lies to you, it's no secret that our lives have to be transparent. So that's a conversation that needs to be had. Date one, hour one. How about even before the date, just in case something happens?
Podcast Host
Just. Yeah. And I don't think before date one, she was unclear about what he did for a living.
Jenna Ushkowitz
She wasn't. She wasn't.
Podcast Host
But don't you worry. Michelle also takes this time we get a flashback of why she doesn't like the girlfriend. But if I were her, I probably just would pretend that I was happy with the girlfriend just because I wouldn't want to talk to Jesse about it anymore.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Teddy 100. How about just, just pretend that you like the girl so that he gets happy with someone and you have to deal with him less.
Podcast Host
Yes. And then hopefully the girl is somewhat decent and you can deal with her instead of him.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Exactly. Exactly. Let's, let's. You know what? They hate each other too much. For people that don't like each other, it's like a little bit.
Podcast Host
I agree. I couldn't agree more.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You guys aren't together anymore. Getting divorced isn't. Is like a formality. But the, the way you fight is like two people who give a. About each other.
Podcast Host
They give a lot of shits off.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Knock it off. If somebody said, listen. If there's people that say stuff about us all the time. Teddy, me, never. Wait. We don't know them. We have no idea who they are. We don't care. We don't care about them. They have no bearing on our life. Michelle, like, is fighting with him like it's her high school boyfriend. Stop.
Podcast Host
But also, Jesse, the hooker joke didn't land the first time. It's most certainly not going to land the second.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Well, I don't think he's that funny. Like, there's somebody who could have said that joke, and it would be funny. And then there's. There's Jesse.
Podcast Host
I think that's a problem. But then all of a sudden, once this kind of pulls, you know, we see it going south, even more south than the hooker joke. And then we see the other side of Michelle. The one where I was like, golf claps. I like you. This episode where she just starts screaming at him, and she's like, you've gone through our money. Don't make me prove it. Like, this is the situation when a.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Woman says, don't make me prove it. You better run when someone says that.
Podcast Host
Because I've said that and I'm frightened.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Don't make me prove it. Like, I'm not kidding. As Frank Catania.
Podcast Host
Well, what about when she says, not only did you spend all my money, Jesse says he's going to pull something up on his phone related to his money. What, are you going to pull up your bank of America Chase account.
Jenna Ushkowitz
With your face? Oh, and then the number comes up.
Podcast Host
Then it's going to be like $11,000. 222. Great.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Wow. He's a keeper. Maybe I should think about getting back. Honey's up these days, though. Honey's expensive.
Podcast Host
Honey is expensive. But they're yelling at each other.
Jenna Ushkowitz
The girl yelling at her for cheating. Who cares? You don't even like her. You don't like her. What do you care?
Podcast Host
He likes her. She. He said, she's the only one that can get under my skin.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Well, then you're a fool then. Yeah, Then if you cared about her that much, you should have been a little nicer. I don't think he was that nice to her.
Podcast Host
Well, I don't think they were that into. I think she was probably always trying to pull something out of him that potentially is not there. And when she kept trying to get a different type of Jesse, then she would get really pissed, and then she would be the one that yells. I don't think he ever yells. I think he'd rather sit there quietly and make you look stupid.
Jenna Ushkowitz
He sits there. I've seen this before. I know guys like this. He sits there and gets you all worked up and gets off on you going nuts.
Podcast Host
Yeah.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Like, he doesn't stop. He doesn't stop. He doesn't stop until he's put you over the edge and he wants to see you have that reaction. Then he's happy.
Podcast Host
Yeah. And then we find out later, which we'll get into this.
Jenna Ushkowitz
And then. And then he brings her back to a trip.
Podcast Host
Yeah. Then he takes you On a trip?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah.
Podcast Host
Then when they start screaming at each other, Michelle says, you know, this is about Isabella and you know she got birthday money and Jesse took it.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah. What's that all about?
Podcast Host
Why else would he be getting money from a gay man? And if. If he wasn't also a hooker. Oh, well, I want to know.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I would like.
Podcast Host
I want to know anybody.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Nothing's for free. Nothing in this life is for free. So why you get money from a gay guy?
Podcast Host
I want you.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Just look at me.
Podcast Host
It was so let's say it was a birthday gift for Isabella. That was money.
Jenna Ushkowitz
How much was it? Like I give like 500.
Podcast Host
Like 500. Let's call him really quick.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Who are you calling?
Podcast Host
Jesse?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Teddy. You are fun. Oh my God. Tamara warned me about this answer.
Jesse Lally
This is Jesse Lally.
Podcast Host
I'm unavailable. We'll leave him a voicemail. Hey Jesse, it's Teddy and Dolores. We just had a quick question for you. The money that you received during Isabella's birthday, was it more or less than 500? If you could get back to us within the next 15 minutes, that would be amazing. Thank you so much. Because we're live on the pod. Say hi, Dolores.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Oh, hi, Jesse. I'm really dying to hear.
Podcast Host
We're dying to hear. Talk soon.
Jenna Ushkowitz
We're on for a little bit. So we'll be waiting for you.
Podcast Host
We'll be waiting.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Bye. Bye.
Podcast Host
Because if it's like $75, then this is a ridiculous argument. If it's like $1,000, but you give $500 to a kid's birthday, even if it's not like a bar bat mitzvah type situation or a 13th birthday.
Jenna Ushkowitz
No, it depends. Like a 13th. Like I spend like a few hundred. I love to buy gifts. Okay.
Podcast Host
Okay. Well, anyways, during this time, the other dude, Danny, is deciding to get hammered. Hammered.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Danny's. Does Danny have a little bit of an issue?
Podcast Host
Maybe. Danny seems a little bit of askew, especially once we find out he's sneak. But I don't even know if he has an issue or he's just so scared of Nia that should be scared of her.
Jenna Ushkowitz
She has three nooses around his neck right now and she's working on a fourth. So I'd be really careful if I was him.
Podcast Host
Yeah.
Jenna Ushkowitz
So doing voiceovers till he's 500 years old if he doesn't.
Podcast Host
Can we discuss a couple other things that happen at wine tasting before we move on to back at the house?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Of course.
Podcast Host
What about when he. Okay. What exactly did Jesse say? Like this reminds Me of. And he didn't say positive positano. He said something that wasn't a town. Oh, hold on, Jesse Lally. Who cares about anything else? I was going to say. Go ahead, Jesse, it's Teddy. You're live on air with two teas in a pod. We're not going to grill too much because we've already given you enough heat this episode, but we want to know how much money you were sent for Isabella's birthday. And was it for Isabella's birthday or was it for special favors?
Jesse Lally
Listen, I think there was a lot of confusion about, you know, in the yelling and screaming, but this person that Michelle had been accused of getting money from, it was a yes, he did send money when Isabel was born as a gift, and he sent us money because he was not at our wedding as a wedding gift. But the money that she was accused of getting was a random day in September and a random day in another month. So it just didn't add up. And then she like to deflect away from, you know, the truth about her by saying that I was getting money for my birthday from one of one of our oldest friends, but she decided to throw out that I was getting money from a gay guy, but then followed it up with on my birthday. So I think there's a little confusion about the money swap with regards to all of that.
Podcast Host
Okay, this makes more sense because we were confused. So you got money for your own birthday from a friend.
Jesse Lally
Who was at our wedding, who traveled to Italy with us, who, you know, we spent summers at his house in the Hamptons, Michelle and I. So she was just using that as an excuse to deflect away from having the conversation about her.
Podcast Host
And then the only other thing that we're going to ask you quickly and Dolores, he can't hear you, so that's why I'm asking both the questions. But what do you get a little bit of a rise when you can get her upset and she's going to yell at you? Are you, like, glutton for punishment?
Jesse Lally
You know, that was a year ago. And we literally, she had just moved out two months before, you know, we had gone away together. She had just filed for divorce a month before. We were still in that, like, who's going to win the battle phase of our separation? And it was very tit for tat, every argument we got into. And, you know, I was trying to push her button. She was getting under my skin. And I think we've grown in the last year from. From that experience.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Okay.
Podcast Host
And then One lighter question. Why were you drinking Corbel before you guys went?
Jesse Lally
That I. That I was not Corbel. I think it was Delamonte blanc to blanc.
Podcast Host
Oh, boji.
Jesse Lally
Yeah, I think so. And when I said something about champagne and they cut to me pouring Prosecco, I know the difference. We were actually making aperol spritz, not drinking straight Prosecco, because I would never do that.
Podcast Host
Okay, well, thank you so much for your time, and we will talk later. And thank you for clearing that up because we were very confused.
Jesse Lally
Well, I'm super excited that I finally get to meet Dolores over the phone because we've never met in person, and all I've heard is her talk so highly of me on the podcast.
Podcast Host
So don't worry. Today it changed.
Jesse Lally
You know, what with. We had 10 more episodes after. After tonight, so stay tuned. A lot of things will change, Trust me.
Podcast Host
Yeah, we're only as good as this week's episode, but thanks, Jesse, for answering.
Jesse Lally
All right, hon, how are you feeling today?
Podcast Host
Good. I'll call you later.
Jesse Lally
All right, Goodbye.
Podcast Host
Bye. I didn't realize that she was first accused of a money steal. And I also didn't realize this. This was just only two months after.
Jenna Ushkowitz
That was a very productive conversation.
Podcast Host
We got a lot done there. So.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You did. You did. I'm telling you, that's why you're the boss. That's why.
Podcast Host
Listen. Keep calling me the boss and people answer.
Jenna Ushkowitz
People answer to you. No, they probably wouldn't have answered my call. He'd be like, new Jersey phone number.
Podcast Host
Oh, he loves that you're from New Jersey because he is from the East Coast. And he always says. Dolores just says things like the way we wanna say. Like, there's some times that I'll be like, I'm gonna kill that person. I'm gonna kick that person's ass. But I'm not really gonna do any of those things. It's just the way we talk on the East Coast.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I know you're not right. Exactly. Exactly. Yes.
Podcast Host
So he loves that. So then they head back. We were confused, but now we're not. Because of our clearly amazing detective skills. I mean. But we also need to know that Jesse says, do we do.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I think he's being accurate. I don't think he had to think about what he was saying for one second. And I think that he just, you know, it's all the way. It's all in presentation. It's all the way something is said. I don't know that she said anything so different. It was the way she said it. When you say it, alluding to something else. However, you couldn't. You can kind of like force a narrative behind something. Yeah, the way you present something. Of course.
Podcast Host
Yeah. And, I mean, I get that she's hurt. And two months post, like, when you're just getting divorced, you're fucking.
Jenna Ushkowitz
They were in the thick of it.
Podcast Host
They were.
Jenna Ushkowitz
They were filming. Teddy, think about this. They were filming in the hot heat, in the thick of their divorce or their separation and the fighting. That's not fun.
Podcast Host
I mean, I even think about, like, if I were having to film pre 2 pre knowing I had tumors with Edwin. That would have been brutal.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You know, that's what they're doing.
Podcast Host
That's what they're doing.
Jenna Ushkowitz
That's what they're doing. That's exactly what's going on over there.
Podcast Host
But somehow they're back at the house. Janet sees Danny chugging tequila in the pantry. Then Jesse texted Michelle on the way back to talk privately. This part I kind of missed. I didn't realize he texted her to talk privately, but apparently he did. Then she comes up stairs. Jesse questions why Michelle can't be happy for him. Michelle asks why he's so obsessed with this other woman that doesn't care.
Jenna Ushkowitz
What do you, Michelle? What do you care?
Podcast Host
What do you care? What do you care? I wish she would have said in that moment. I wish she would have been like, jesse, I don't like the way that you treat me. I would have thought that if you're so.
Jenna Ushkowitz
A lot of times.
Podcast Host
Huh?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Michelle has said that a lot of times.
Podcast Host
I know, but then bringing it back to the chick. I don't care about the chick. She's not on the show. I'm not watching her. At least Honeybee is on the show sometimes.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah, she's buzzing around over there. What does she care what he's doing?
Zoe Saldana
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Podcast Host
Thanks.
Kevin McHale
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Kevin McHale
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Kevin McHale
Let me check this pocket. Oh mints.
Zoe Saldana
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Kevin McHale
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Podcast Host
Then Michelle says Isabella is calling her a second mom. That actually, I'm wondering how that could happen so quick because now we know this is post. They're just separated two months or they're just divorced two months. I mean, I think Isabella said. Isabella may have said that, but what else did we hear Isabella say?
Jenna Ushkowitz
But she also said that Aaron loves him. That she loves Aaron.
Podcast Host
I know.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I already said that. She said so. You know what? I want Isabella to be happy and to like the people that are around and if they're good for her, I want. So all that matters is Isabella right now and all this petty nonsense fighting that I see between the two of them. Which was a year ago. Fair enough, Jesse. Fair enough was what was a year ago Better be long gone. It better be long gone because none of it's worth it.
Podcast Host
But then we get into a little bit more. Then we get into a little bit more. Jesse then triples down, calls her a lying, cheating whore, prompting her to throw a glass of water. How do we know it's water, by the way? A glass of clear liquid that could essentially be anything in his face.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Well, my. Where I come from, it would be like lie or acid or wait, that happens a lot. Patterson.
Podcast Host
But then Michelle then goes down the stairs and shouts that Jesse refused To hug and kiss her or tell her that she was beautiful and spent all of their money. I did kind of believe her a little bit in this moment, but now that I talked to Jesse, I'm like, I'm. Now I'm all torn back and forth. But I do feel I want to know.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Like, she said he doesn't pay child support. She said that last week.
Podcast Host
So we also saw in an interview, Michelle said, I mean, how can we even trust Jesse? He cried for three weeks when his dog passed away. I'm sorry. Isn't that kind of the only reason.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I would trust him?
Podcast Host
Right.
Jenna Ushkowitz
That is putting Jesse right now, for me ahead of the game. If he cared that much about his dog and cried over his dog.
Podcast Host
Yeah. And then she says, what if I.
Jenna Ushkowitz
What if you died? I will cry.
Podcast Host
Then she says she's done with Jesse and will only see him when picking up and dropping off Isabella, which I do not believe because we're gonna see them in the next season and the next episode and the next all the things. But would you. Do you blame Michelle for throwing the water in Jesse's face? No. No. Me neither.
Jenna Ushkowitz
No.
Podcast Host
I haven't ever done that before. But, like, maybe it's something I should do.
Jenna Ushkowitz
If it makes you feel good, I.
Podcast Host
Think you should have you thrown liquid in somebody's face. Is that illegal?
Jenna Ushkowitz
No, no. Spitting in someone's face is illegal.
Podcast Host
That I do now.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I'm more of a physical person. Like, I'll try to hurt them and hit them. Throwing water in somebody's face does nothing for me. That doesn't get my rage going. Like. But I did at least calm my rage down.
Podcast Host
I did at least appreciate she really flung it. It wasn't like a gin Aiden. Like, like halfway, like, sprinkle. Like, she really went for it with the water. Like, that water was not gonna miss his face.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, you know, you say certain things that's gonna happen.
Podcast Host
Yeah. But then we get to dinner. Danny's passed out in the bed. At this point, Nia is working overtime to make sure that that dude up. She's like, whatever happens, he cannot wake up. And I don't really care that much about anything else that happens at dinner except how revved up Britney and all the other girls, except for Kristen, get that they're allowing him to sleep through dinner.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Yeah. But, like, there's a reason I think he's a different person when he's drunk.
Podcast Host
I do question Brittany and, I mean, I do question Nia and Danny's authenticity sometimes.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I Think that there's a reason that she's trying to hide a part of him and keep him where he is. Because I've been around people who drink and then they go to a different. Like there becomes a different person.
Podcast Host
There's got to be a different side. You can't be that happy and over the top all the time. Do you think?
Jenna Ushkowitz
I mean, you can be, but it doesn't last that long. That's not a sustainable happiness. Like it could be that way like for months at a time or like a season at a time. But it like I believe that there's times they're probably like that and there's times there's not. How could you be like that all the time with three kids under three? He says. And a two bedroom and a two bedroom, like the. No, no. Either you just accept the misery and you're happy and you lie to yourself that you're happy with every day waking up to changing diapers. Or, or, or they're not being real. They could just be like, you know, sometimes you fake it till you make it. Yeah.
Podcast Host
I mean, but then there was, you know, there's conversation about Britney who won't give up her phone because she wants to see the messages that Zach is.
Jenna Ushkowitz
And then to me. No, Jax. Jacks.
Podcast Host
Oh, yeah, Jax. But then at that same moment, I.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Would have blocked his ass.
Podcast Host
Yeah, but she, she wants. I think she's been so deep into it. But then I think the comment that Nia makes is what sets over the top because Zach is acting, asking for the phone. And then Nia's like, this is pure toxicity. And meanwhile, like they're not taking ownership for what the hell is going on in their situation. Who is it?
Jenna Ushkowitz
Danny?
Podcast Host
But then this is where we don't know that.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Speculation, Teddy.
Podcast Host
True. That is speculation.
Jenna Ushkowitz
We're just speculating that they're not happy.
Podcast Host
I'm sure they're happy, but I think happy people can still get fucked up and do shitty things.
Ryan Seacrest
Of course.
Podcast Host
But then Zach does his work again. Zach's back on the up and ups with us, but Zach does his work again. He pulls me aside to tell her the group was talking about her. She retooks in Danny and Danny's upset that she didn't wake him up. But then, don't you worry. Zach led her right on.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Why was it such a big deal that she let him sleep? I don't think it's a big deal.
Podcast Host
See, I'm. I actually feel different about this because I've been in one of Those situations.
Jenna Ushkowitz
So, okay, so you tell me.
Podcast Host
So wine tasting in Provence. Right after the wine tasting there was a two hour break in filming and then we had to do a dinner and I was drunk and I went like. We were doing dancing and all kinds of things off camera, like where we could play music, like Vogue. We were dancing and then I took a little nappy pill and then I remember having to be woken up to eat the cast Dinner in Provence.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Oh, so you're saying you're there to work, buddy. Just your production should have made him get his ass up because we need content.
Podcast Host
Yeah, that's you right now. You can't sleep through your shit just because you're fucking drunk. You're right, I'm sorry. It really bugged me. Like I went up and made if.
Jenna Ushkowitz
You'Re going to be. If we want to see a degenerate drunk grabbing asses and getting in trouble.
Podcast Host
Right now, that's all we need.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Grabbing tits, saying things they shouldn't say and on everybody wake them up.
Podcast Host
You don't get to sleep through it. I'm sorry. You don't get to sleep it off in the middle of a dinner. Cast dinner. Full cast dinner. You're right. Sorry. It made me mad. But then you know any who they walk Brittany over. They walk Nia over to where Brittany is. Just go. Brittany and Jasmine are out of 10, furious. And Nia hears it. But then the way Nia handles it was perfection. She goes. Brittany goes. It's not fair. I have to share my whole life about all these terrible things. And your husband is drunk and you're not even talking about it. And she goes, yeah, he's drunk. Way to diffuse the situation. She's like, yeah, he's fucking drunk. I want him to sleep.
Jenna Ushkowitz
That's the way you diffuse any situation.
Podcast Host
Yeah.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Own it.
Podcast Host
That was beauty. That was artwork. Nia, you might be cut out for reality television after that line. You just nipped it right in the thumb. But there ain't anything.
Jenna Ushkowitz
No, but to echo what you're saying. Okay, so she gave a good answer. He's drunk. But where is he? Wake him up.
Podcast Host
If you get the little tap tap. Hey, what would you. Because I think about normal life. If I was at a one night getaway with my significant other and he got himself drunk and then fell asleep for three hours and then we were supposed to go out to dinner, you bet your ass I would have woken him up. So that's real life. And I would have been like all by myself. Well, I mean, I love to do everything by myself. But if we had come together, the old Teddy would have woken up my husband and been like, we're coming together. You're getting it together and get in the shower and pull it together. But the girls are just so excited to announce that he was chugging tequila and what have been other tequila. Mac and cheese. Why didn't they show us the chugging of tequila?
Jenna Ushkowitz
I don't know what's going on here.
Podcast Host
Were they taking a break? Was it a break? It might have been a break.
Jenna Ushkowitz
So no one has a cell phone?
Podcast Host
Where I napped, no one has a cell phone. They're not professionals. This is only season two. They don't know that. You pull out the cell phone and you video it and then they can use it.
Jenna Ushkowitz
And then they use it. No, they've been around a long time.
Podcast Host
Oh. So this is kind of calculated because there was a camera up faced towards the pantry, but you couldn't see inside of the pantry. So we don't know what the hell he was doing in there. It was only Janet that could see because she was making her Mac and cheese.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Listen, things happen in pantries too on these shows.
Podcast Host
I mean, listen, my gosh.
Jenna Ushkowitz
But there was a summer house pantry.
Podcast Host
Yeah, a lot of things happen in the pantry. Don't put the pantries in the corner.
Jenna Ushkowitz
No, don't. Don't sleep on the pantries.
Podcast Host
Oh, my gosh. Well, thanks you guys for tuning in to another episode of Two Teas in a Pod with myself, Tess, Teddy Mellencamp and Dolores Catania. We appreciate you guys. This was a good episode and we'll be back later this week.
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Podcast Host
This is an iHeart podcast.
Podcast Summary: Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge
Episode: Hey, Jesse! (The Valley Recap)
Release Date: May 14, 2025
In the episode titled "Hey, Jesse! (The Valley Recap)," hosts Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge delve deep into the latest happenings of The Valley, a popular reality TV series. As always, Teddi and Tamra bring their unique perspectives and sharp wit to dissect the drama unfolding among the cast members, focusing primarily on the tumultuous relationship between Jesse and Michelle.
The episode kicks off with Teddi and Tamra discussing the second day of events in Santa Barbara, highlighting Jesse's ongoing struggles to coexist with Michelle.
The hosts humorously critique Jesse’s choice of underwear, suggesting that ill-fitting or inappropriate undergarments are emblematic of deeper issues in his behavior.
A significant portion of their discussion centers on Jesse's tendency to "rage text," exacerbating tensions within the group.
Teddi expresses frustration with Jesse's aggressive communication style, emphasizing the negative impact it has on relationships within the cast.
Teddi and Tamra analyze Jesse's alcohol consumption, particularly his penchant for Corbel wine, and how it influences his decision-making and interactions.
They discuss the consequences of Jesse’s drinking, including poor choices during group activities like wine tasting, which often lead to heightened drama.
A pivotal moment in the episode revolves around accusations that Jesse took money intended for his daughter Isabella's birthday.
The hosts debate the validity of Michelle’s claims, weighing Jesse’s explanations against Michelle’s accusations. Jesse later clarifies his stance in a voicemail, attempting to resolve the confusion.
This segment highlights the complexity of financial dynamics in relationships under public scrutiny.
Teddi and Tamra emphasize the importance of honesty and transparency in relationships, particularly for individuals in the public eye.
They advocate for upfront communication to prevent misunderstandings and foster healthier interactions.
The hosts dissect Michelle’s frustrations with Jesse, especially regarding his apparent obsession with another woman and the impact it has on their co-parenting dynamic.
They explore the emotional toll these conflicts take on both parties and the surrounding cast.
In a dramatic turn, Teddi and Tamra receive a voicemail from Jesse addressing the money allegations, aiming to clarify misunderstandings.
This moment serves as a critical point in the episode, offering listeners insight into Jesse's perspective and attempts at reconciliation.
The discussion touches on how Jesse and Michelle manage their public personas amidst personal turmoil, emphasizing the challenges of maintaining composure under public scrutiny.
They critique the authenticity of the cast's behavior, questioning whether actions are genuine or influenced by the pressures of reality TV.
Teddi and Tamra explore effective conflict resolution strategies, contrasting them with the often destructive interactions observed between Jesse and Michelle.
They advocate for constructive communication and accountability as means to navigate and resolve interpersonal conflicts.
As the episode nears its end, Teddi and Tamra reflect on the unresolved tensions and anticipate future developments in The Valley. They underline the ongoing nature of Jesse and Michelle’s conflict and its ramifications for the rest of the cast.
The hosts conclude by teasing upcoming episodes and encouraging listeners to stay tuned for more in-depth analyses and recaps.
"Hey, Jesse! (The Valley Recap)" offers listeners a comprehensive and engaging analysis of the latest drama in The Valley. Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge skillfully navigate the complexities of Jesse and Michelle’s strained relationship, providing insightful commentary and fostering a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the show, this episode serves as a valuable guide to the ongoing narratives and character developments within the series.
Note: Times referenced in quotes correspond to their appearance in the transcript for contextual accuracy.