← Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge
Loading summary
Transcript345 lines
- [00:00]
Podcast Host
This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human felises, fiestas, mi gente. You know me, I'm all about sharing love, especially during the holidays. For me, that comes from giving and connecting with people. So this year I decided to make the season super intentional. Stocking up on gifts for my friends and family, wrapping up some amazing smartphones, just making sure everyone feels seen and spoiled because I love making people feel special. Honestly, that's my ultimate recharge and holiday gifting has never been easier. With T Mobile I can get those the latest 5G smartphones get todos quiern all in one place. And the best part? Switching to T mobile only takes 15 minutes per line. That's even faster than Santa's reindeer. So if you're like me, what better gift than connection? What better gift than a 5G smartphone from T Mobile? They'll use it every single day and know you care. Call 1-800-T-MOBILE to talk to a bilingual mobile expert on the phone. Visit your local store or the Tealife app so you can switch today and connect with Los Tuyos. Check out in 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com did you know?
- [01:08]
Commercial Announcer
Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11 PC Mag Reader's Choice. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
- [01:38]
Sports Announcer
Season two of unrivaled basketball is here, and the talent is unreal. The best women's players on the planet are running it back with even bigger moments and bigger stakes. Don't miss as Paige Beckers, Nafiza Collier, Kelsey Plumb, Brianna Stewart and more take the court and redefine the game. This isn't your regular season. This is unrivaled, where the pace is faster, the energy is higher, and every athlete shines. Unrivaled basketball season two, sponsored by Samsung Galaxy, tips off January 5th on TNT, TruTV and HBO. Max.
- [02:08]
Valpak Advertiser
Your ticket to big savings is that big blue envelope in your mailbox, Valpak. It's brimming with deals from big name brands and your favorite local spots, dining services, stuff you're already buying. All for less. And you could score $100 or other instant prizes just for opening it. Or save even faster with mobile coupons you can use right now@valpak.com Valpak. There's definitely something in it for you.
- [02:38]
Eddie Judge
Welcome Back to the Eds. My name is Eddie Judge. I got my partner here, Edwin Ariabe. Como estas, amigo?
- [02:46]
Edwin Ariabe
Muy bien gusto.
- [02:48]
Eddie Judge
I think we should do this in Spanish someday.
- [02:50]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah, we should.
- [02:52]
Eddie Judge
I will mock up all the words, though. I have to read. I'll have to plan for that one.
- [02:58]
Edwin Ariabe
I bet our guest knows him Spanish.
- [03:03]
Eddie Judge
So we have a special guest today, Ralph Pittman. He is part of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Was married to Drew Sedora, currently going through a separation divorce. And what we know about him is they've been together for eight years, have two children, and she. You guys have been on it for four seasons now, right, Ralph?
- [03:31]
Ralph Pittman
Yes. Yeah, you got it.
- [03:32]
Eddie Judge
Four seasons. Awesome. Ralph is a very interesting guy. Can't wait to hear all about him. He's a musician, an entrepreneur and author. He's got so many hats. I. You're very, very, like, interesting guy. I can't wait to get to know you, Ralph.
- [03:48]
Ralph Pittman
Fantastic. Thanks for having me. Also, I think first and foremost, this is an amazing platform because I think, you know, especially within this world, we're surrounded by all the women they have and things of that nature, but just for an opportunity for the guys to come together because at the end of the day, we are such a huge part of the show as well. Yeah, it's great to actually be here, and thanks for the invite.
- [04:09]
Eddie Judge
Yeah, of course. That's a great point you make. We are a big part of their. Their life on the show, and I myself try to stay off the show because it's just so full of fighting and drama and stuff like that, and I just can't deal with that. But in the truth is, when our wives go out to battle, if you. They come home to us and we listen and we hear and we talk them off the ledge and we, you know, rationalize what's going on. Because it's such a weird, unique situation to be on a reality TV show where they take parts of your life and, you know, cut and slice and edit and make you, you know, look good or bad. It just depends on their storyline. Right.
- [04:51]
Ralph Pittman
Got it.
- [04:52]
Eddie Judge
So. So, yeah, it's a great point. So, Ralph, tell us about who you are. I mean, where did you grow up and where are you from?
- [05:01]
Ralph Pittman
Oh, yeah. So I grew up actually in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and so actually grew up there. Didn't go far for college and ended up going to Rutgers University. Played football There and, you know, I got tired of the cold weather and decided I wanted to pursue something different. Ended up moving over to Los Angeles and then my life kind of just began. Started jumping into a little bit of entertainment things. I was in real estate for quite some time. A bunch of things in that particular pursuit. Technology has been my background for quite some time as well. So I got my degree in business economics. And so I would consider myself more of a business guy that's also creative and so. But music. I played piano, you know, and played keyboard for a bunch of different people and, you know, decided to go into production as well. So it's like I've been doing a bunch of different journeys. We're in both hats, right? Technology side, real estate, and then also the creative side, which is more so dipping and dabbling in the music.
- [05:58]
Eddie Judge
Now, to me, it sounds like you get bored easy, but I think the reality is that you have so many skills and talents that it's almost like it doesn't matter what you do, you're good at it, and so you keep doing it. And I assume there's stuff that you're not good at. Like me, I hate baseball because I suck at it. But there's certain things that we have to get out there and try before we find out if we're good at them or not. Am I kind of on to you now? Like, does that. Does that kind of describe your. What motivates you, what gets you up in the morning and why you want to try so many things, or why.
- [06:37]
Ralph Pittman
Don'T you tell us, you know what? So it's a really good question. I think you're right. Right. I feel like I have things that I love to just do. That's my passion in my heart, you know. And so music has been that you. To be perfectly frank with you, right, There's. I think I break it into two different areas. There's business, you know, where I make my money, and then there's the things that fill me up. And what fills me up is the music aspect. Right. Literally I can sit down at home and play the piano for hours. Like, literally I've missed going out and been playing the piano until 3, 4 o' clock in the morning and had the best time, big smile on my face. So that right there is like my place of refuge. And so music has just been that thing to where it's more passionate, but, you know, everything else, and it's really not that many. But, you know, I look at it in. In the area of business, anything that's going to help make money. Anything that I'm kind of passionate about or thinking about, like, all right, this may be a great avenue or I'm looking to solve a problem, you know, so it's like those are the areas that I go into. So I would say in general, I'm a solutionist and also a musician. And so whatever the solution may be in whatever particular area. Like for instance, the books and great friends. I created a book, I was working on, a book called the Step in Parenting, which is a book to help stepfathers going through the journey. You know, I'm a stepfather and pretty excited about it. That's another thing. Let me jump into that. My kids, you know, so. So I have, you know, we have three. Right. So JoJo, he's 14 now. He just went to high school. I have my Makai, he's 10 years old, and then my little baby girl who is now 7 years old. And so having, you know, having that dynamic was pretty different. And that's something also that on television. And so Jojo is not biologically mine.
- [08:26]
Eddie Judge
Right.
- [08:26]
Ralph Pittman
However, being a stepfather is probably the most. It's, it's. We'll look at it as the most rewarding and the most fulfilling yet the most challenging thing that you could probably ever endure because you're getting master at a lot. It's a lot of different challenges you go through. You never really know what you're getting yourself into. And so for me, being a, a first time stepdad, I literally became a stepdad before I became a biological father.
- [08:53]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [08:53]
Ralph Pittman
And so wanted to actually help other people going through the same particular journey and, you know, really shed some light on it because I think that that's one of the areas that is overlooked. And so it's like, all right, you know what? This is a problem that I believe I can solve that can be able to help people. And so let's write a book about it. And guess what? We can also put it on a show because now we're focusing on real life and things that's actually happening. And since they're capturing it, let's go and talk about it and give it a platform that actually spin a negative into a positive situation that people can actually benefit and learn from. So that's kind of my unique kind of way of trying to, you know, use the platform for good when, you know, it's a show that's not necessarily about us or it's about drama. But how can you find that silver light, you know, and, and really turn it into a Great opportunity.
- [09:39]
Eddie Judge
That's a great point.
- [09:40]
Edwin Ariabe
As a stepfather, do you start off passive? Did you find yourself at first just being more hands off while maybe you gained the confidence and where you gained the trust, I should say, to step in and, and, and become a little more of a father figure, or would you always kind of hand off the entire time?
- [10:02]
Ralph Pittman
So, great question. One of the things is that, you know, as soon as you come in and you, let's take it from the beginning, right? Let me have some fun with your thing. You first meet the woman, right? You know what? I think she's amazing. And then all of a sudden you like, okay, you got kids. Let me meet the kids and see if they're not tight. You know what? These are some good k. Enjoy being with them. And everything is fun, right? You're like, let's go to the park. Let's go and do this. Let me show you this, let me teach you this. And it becomes that type of a dynamic because that's the role that you play, especially if it's a single mom and a father is not involved or around, you kind of take on that friend kind of a role because you're still working on building a relationship with the mom, right. And once you decide, all right, you know, I'm ready to take things forward and take it to the next level, they a lot of the times like, oh, you know, what if he needs a father? You know, come on. And so you kind of get pulled in. But I believe that women typically don't understand exactly what a man's role is in teaching, especially a boy, right?
- [11:03]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [11:05]
Ralph Pittman
So on the front end of things, they kind of see the nice, positive, fun side of things, which is, you know, the encouragement, the support, the jokes, the playing basketball and things of that nature. But in order to teach a man how to really be a man and a survive out in this world, it comes with discipline. Now discipline looks really different than anything anyone has ever seen because it's like, oh, no, we're not going to do this. You're not doing this. Hey, this is the bedtime here. This, you know, and so all of a sudden, structure starts to look like, wait a minute, this doesn't feel good. And even to that child, it's like, wait, what is going on here? What happened to that funny guy that was taking me to the park and getting ice cream and let me do all the things I, you know, I wanted to do? And so, because the thing is, even as a stepfather or even just coming in, in a dating, your goal is to spend time with the, you know, with the mom. You spend. You do your little thing with the kids and everything, and then it's like, all right, I'm off to the. You know, to spend time with your mother. But now that you are in the house and you're living under one roof, there's a lot of structure that you got to put in place, all right, Pick up your toys. You can't do this, you know, and so that discipline looks different. And it's a way that you have to roll it into an expectations that everyone needs to have, especially even the biological mom, right? It's like, hey, all right. And so what I learned is that I learned a couple of. I learned a lot, actually. One of the things, you know, to answer your question, I would say when you start off in a step parenting situation, you really want to actually not come in as this disciplinarian. You want to come in and let the mother be the disciplinarian. You have to build trust with that child. How do you build trust? You kind of got to do it. And so you can. There's a couple of little strategies that you can use, like the save the savior method, right? And so the kid does something, the mom gets on them. And this is something. It's a game that you got to play. And you should structure before you actually, you know, and talk about it like, this is how we're going to do it. And so we're going to play good cop backup. The man should be the bad, the good cop. The woman should be the bad cop. Oh, you did this, right? Here you go get in trouble. No, no, no. I have them. Let me. Let me talk to him. And now you come in and he's. The kid is like, man, you saved me. And now the kid is starting to gravitate and open up a little more to you. You shouldn't have done that. But this is how we can go and do it. You take a different type of an approach, and I believe that there's these lines. You need to understand exactly what those lines should actually be. What do you want me to be in this relationship? Do you want me to be the disciplinarian? Do you want me to be this? And so once you have those boundaries set, now you can really be able to move forward in the co parenting journey so that everyone is on the same page and you're not being emasculated as a man.
- [13:45]
Eddie Judge
That's brilliant. It sounds like some CIA spy shit, but it is brilliant. I mean, to really put your heads together and come up with that plan. I can see it working 100% of the time, because my experience is that I had stepchildren, but their father was still in the picture. So I took an approach of, I'm not going to step on her shoes. As much as I have no respect for him, and as much as a deadbeat dad he might be, I can't step in that role. And the kids have to kind of figure it out on the their own. They're not going to do it as young kids. And the more he pushed them not to like us, like, like me, the more he pushed them to, you know, saying all these negative things about me, the more the kids realized, okay, this guy's an asshole. And eventually it backfired on him, and they ended up staying with us full time. But I think it's a little bit easier, I don't know, not having the father in the picture, because then they. All they have to learn is from you. And if you, you know, play your cards right. And I love this idea that, you know, you guys put your heads together. Good cop, bad cop. I think that's going to work 100 of the time because you're going to gain their trust. And that's kind of what you're saying, right, Edwin? Like, I. I have to gain their trust before I even step into that role of disciplinary or, you know, guiding them.
- [15:09]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah, I got really lucky with Bella's stepdad. I mean, he couldn't have been a better dad. And I've been kind of hands off with that relationship, and he's been great, and I haven't had to even get into what their relationship is. He's always been very supportive.
- [15:25]
Eddie Judge
So.
- [15:27]
Edwin Ariabe
But, yeah, I think, to your point, Eddie, I think it does change the dynamic when the dad's not around as much. I think probably a little easier. Although for me, I've been around for Bella, and it's always been easy with the stepdad and I. So I got really lucky with him.
- [15:42]
Ralph Pittman
But so you see all of these different dynamics that we have here, right?
- [15:45]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah.
- [15:46]
Ralph Pittman
We have, you know, three men, three completely different scenarios, you know, And I think that's the. That's the big thing about it, you know, being able to really talk about. And that's kind of what the book was about. Ended up getting killed before I could actually release it. And, you know, why did it get killed? The divorce.
- [16:04]
Eddie Judge
Ah. Oh, good od. The.
- [16:06]
Edwin Ariabe
Good od.
- [16:07]
Ralph Pittman
The good old D. You know, so.
- [16:09]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah. So, well, before we get into that, I'm curious. So you played football, then obviously got into music. What did you do first to do the football thing first? Or was it always you were doing at the same time football, music? Obviously you went to Rutgers, so you were obviously pretty good at football if you played Division one. So what. What. What were you doing first? And how did business come in? Was it more of, I want to make good money. This is why I want to get into business, or what was the drive on that?
- [16:40]
Ralph Pittman
You know, I feel like I was one of those. Well, let me start off with the first part of it. I got into music when I was young, so I wanted to play drums. I went to. My mom, had us in church early on, and she would. You know, the thing is, is that she would catch the Holy Ghost sometimes and she was slacky, you know, so you never knew it was ever coming, right? So all of a sudden you just had to watch out for the backhand with the Holy Spirit hit you, you know, so. So I was like, you know what? I need to find a different seat. So playing the drums was a real safe place because now I'm up at the front by the drum set and I'm just watching, and I just gravitated towards music anyway. So, you know, that was the main thing that I was actually going towards. I realized that playing drums, you sweated a lot. And so I was like, you know what? I need to play keys. And actually, it was funny. One of my guys, when I was playing football in North Carolina, went to Millbrook High School, and he came into the locker room one day, he was like, man, I played the piano for my girl, and she started crying. I was like, what? Teach me? Since then, you know, so he taught me basically, like, and got me started playing my first. First song. And that's kind of how I got started. And then all of a sudden, one of my friends that was. I was working on production with his father came to me and was like, hey, you know what? I heard you dip and dabble on a piano. How about I hire you to play at my church? I'll pay you $50 a Sunday. Now, mind you, you know, I was like, yes, I'm a good college student. This was absolutely amazing. So I started doing that also. But I've always had a business kind of a mindset. I played football, so you can say the music came first because that came at a young age, then football, naturally, you know, So I was actually doing that on the side. And so some days I would go and play at church. So I'll break off and do that. And so, you know, so that's what ended up happening. I graduated. I started doing internships in college, of course, naturally, like many of us do. And, and that's kind of where I ended up going and getting into technology. I ended up getting a job at this company called Sparta Systems, and that kind of got me on the way. So that put me pretty much right in technology. And so from there, that's pretty much been like the wheelhouse. So, and then on top of that, the, the real estate. Real estate is something that everybody should be a part of regardless. But I came up during that time where we had the housing bubble. So as soon as I graduated college really started getting my feet wet. All of a sudden that happened and I'm like, oh, we got some other problems. And so it's been a, it's been a really interesting journey, but I've been enjoying it so far and just having some fun.
- [19:11]
Commercial Announcer
Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop voted PCMag's Reader's Choice Top Laptop Brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.
- [19:42]
Sports Announcer
Season 2 of unrivaled basketball is here, and the talent is unreal. Paige Beckers, Nafiza Collier, Kelsey Plumb, Brianna Stewart and more are back to redefine the game. Unrivaled basketball season two, sponsored by Samsung Galaxy, tips off January 5 on TNT, TruTV and HBO Max.
- [19:57]
Valpak Advertiser
It's the most wonderful time of the year and Valpak is here to make it even better. This month, as you sift through holiday mail, don't miss the blue Valpak envelope. From dining to holiday shopping, there's a slide full of savings in your mailbox, plus a chance to instantly win $100. That's right, you could find $100 Christmas cash inside. Want to save even more money on what you love? Go to valpak.com for local coupons and offers. It pays to open Valpak. No purchase necessary for instant Win voip we're prohibited. Prices are randomly inserted. See specially marked Valpak envelopes for details.
- [20:28]
Trainer Games Announcer
Ten athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit, only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000.
- [20:47]
Eddie Judge
This is where mindset comes in.
- [20:49]
Trainer Games Announcer
Someone will be eliminated.
- [20:51]
Ralph Pittman
Pressure is coming down.
- [20:53]
Commercial Announcer
Trainer games on Prime Video January 8th. Watch the trailer on trainergames.com.
- [21:02]
Edwin Ariabe
So the college years. Were you more of a girlfriend type, or were you, like, single? L. Living it up. Football player. Just, you know, living it up. Partying.
- [21:11]
Ralph Pittman
A little bit of both. A little bit of both. So, you know, you got the. You got the mixed bag. It's like when you come from high school, where you're like, oh, this is what it is. Then you go to college, you're like, wait a minute. It's like a new world. Oh, yeah, you know, yeah, your mind is blown. And so. But I tried to make sure I was a little focused, as much as I could be. But at the same time, you know, I love. I had my fun. I can say I enjoyed college. I lived it.
- [21:35]
Eddie Judge
Did you ever aspire to play for the NFL, or were you just doing it because of the passion of football?
- [21:41]
Ralph Pittman
You know what? I thought that wasn't. I did it for the passion of football. I felt like I. I always had these different things. Even watching football now I'm like, man, I should have did this. I should have made this play here. I should have. I should have worked harder. You know, like, you got all of these different regrets now, but, you know, it wasn't something to where I was like, all right, I'm going to the NFL with it. I was there. I wanted to play it, but I wanted to prove something to myself that I was able to compete, play at a different level. And then what ended up happening was just because of my dynamic, I grew up in a single family household, and I got to a place where, you know, and when I walked, I actually walked on to the team. I walked on to the team. So when I got on, you know, of course you got to earn your stripes at that point. You got to really, really work because everybody's getting their head chopped off. And so for me, I had to put in that work. But at the same time, you need money, you know, so it's like, all right, how do you really be able to balance this? Because you. Everybody that's on scholarship, and then you're over here, you know, trying to do it all. So it was a. It was one of those kind of things. And so what ended up happening is, is money started catching up to me. So, like, I gotta get into business fast, and so I gotta pay for this thing, right, it's not gonna feed itself. And then I'm starting to acquire new bills. I got a car. I'm trying to do different things. And so life started taking. Taking its way. And then I ended up just jumping out, getting into business, and, you know, I pretty much had a pretty successful career.
- [23:08]
Eddie Judge
So how were your parents, or you said single family home. You grew up with mom or dad?
- [23:16]
Ralph Pittman
Mom.
- [23:17]
Eddie Judge
Mom. And do you have siblings that grew up with you in that same household?
- [23:21]
Ralph Pittman
You got it. So I had a little brother, Brian.
- [23:24]
Eddie Judge
Okay, so you were younger than me. You were the oldest. Okay, I was. What I'm getting at is what really inspired you to be so motivated? What. What got you? Did you have a mentor? Did you have a vision? Did you just feel like you're always motivated? How did. How did. What drives you, you know, Interesting.
- [23:43]
Ralph Pittman
I just wanted more out of life, you know, I felt like I watched my mother struggle, and so I kind of became the man in my house at a really, really young age. My mom used to get kind of pissed off with me about that. Like, Ralph, you're a kid. I'm like, no, mom, we got to be doing this. Matter of fact, my brother got a really interesting story. So one day my mother gives me some. Some money to go in and buy a snack from the store. And, you know, he takes the money and spends $5 on something. I'm like, no, you can't send that. We gotta save that money for a house.
- [24:16]
Edwin Ariabe
You know?
- [24:17]
Ralph Pittman
And that was the thing. I had my mind set on what we can actually go and do. So let's save this money, not spend it. And, man, and it became a real big thing. So we got into this huge argument around him just spending extra money, trying to be a kid. But I think it was. I was always kind of just ambitious. I just wanted more out of life. I felt like I had something called, I would call inspiration. What I would do is I would ride my bike past these really, really big houses, and I would just go and just visualize and see it all the time. Like, man, I need that house. I want that. I feel like I can get it. And I would do that pretty regularly. So I wanted to see what other people were doing, you know, that wasn't a product in my environment and how they were able to be successful and attain that. And I'll never put any kind of limitations on myself. So that was it. So everything I've acquired, I would say, is been through visualization and really just wanting and expecting more out of life.
- [25:12]
Eddie Judge
Kind of watching others. Right. That reminds me. I had some pretty wealthy friends, and every time I went to their house, I was like, wow, this is how you're supposed to live. Right?
- [25:22]
Ralph Pittman
Right.
- [25:23]
Eddie Judge
I do this, you know, even today when I go to some really rich people's homes, I'm like, this is how they're supposed to live. But I don't know where I'm going to get a hundred million dollars for this house.
- [25:36]
Edwin Ariabe
It makes sense, right? You got to familiarize yourself with the dream. Right. You have to. You know, that story resonates with me because that's what I used to do at 15 years old is I just started familiarizing myself with the dream. You know, even. It just reminds me, when I couldn't afford the houses that I loved, I would. I call it taking action before you have what you need. I would stay at a hotel, at least for a day in that same area, so I could just get used to being in that area. And then. And then eventually you start to think, okay, maybe I do belong here.
- [26:04]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [26:04]
Edwin Ariabe
And then. It's funny. Your subconscious mind will figure out a way to go get it. But if you don't actually familiarize yourself with the dream, that dream will never happen.
- [26:12]
Eddie Judge
You have to.
- [26:14]
Edwin Ariabe
You have to touch the dream before you have what you need.
- [26:16]
Eddie Judge
For sure. It's kind of like tasting a fine steak versus, you know, McDonald's burger steak. It's just so different. It's the.
- [26:24]
Ralph Pittman
Well, you figure you.
- [26:25]
Edwin Ariabe
You can't improve on something you're not aware of.
- [26:28]
Eddie Judge
Right?
- [26:28]
Edwin Ariabe
Right. Like, if you've. I remember for years, I'd never fly first class. Like, I'm not spending money on that.
- [26:34]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [26:34]
Edwin Ariabe
And then all of a sudden, I did.
- [26:35]
Eddie Judge
All right.
- [26:36]
Edwin Ariabe
I ain't going back to, you know, but before, I didn't know what it was.
- [26:40]
Eddie Judge
Right. Right.
- [26:42]
Edwin Ariabe
I was just like, I'd rather buy me a $700 shirt than freaking pay, you know, an extra 800 bucks for first class. You know, I was. But I knew fashion. I didn't know first class. And I sat first class. I was like, all right, never again.
- [26:55]
Ralph Pittman
You know, that's exactly it. You know what? So I had two mentors also, because I do believe it's, you know, being able to visualize. And then also the people that you have, that actually pours and takes time out of their way. So I believe people come into your life, things right, for a reason. A season in a lifetime, sometimes they're there just to really be able to help you along the journey. So I had a Mentor that was in technology. His name was Fred Stahl, and he actually helped me get into sales. He was like, yo, Ralph, what are you doing? He was like, man, you're an extrovert. He was like, you know, you got personality here. This is where you need to be, and this is where people are really making money. And I'm like, oh, really? So he took me under his wing, started giving me different interviews and stuff like that, and really just helping me, even taking time. Ralph, you're not pronouncing his word correctly.
- [27:39]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [27:39]
Ralph Pittman
You know, this kind of bites me here, you know, so he would take time to actually say certain things. And I had another mentor, Louis Javois, and he actually was like, a CIO of Cardinal Health when I first, you know, I had an internship. And so watching him, like, Jesus, he climbed the ladder pretty quickly. Like, what did you do? And so also just picking people's brains and seeing what their habits are and seeing how they thought and, you know, how they moved. And so. So, Edwin, I love what you just said. Right. You know, getting into it and also getting around, you know, getting around the environment of it. You know, even if you want to, I'd rather be the. The poorest person in a room than, you know, the richest person in the room any day. Because, yeah, you can't learn from anybody. You can't pull for somebody. You need somebody that's going to help gravitate and pull you up.
- [28:28]
Eddie Judge
Because when you're at the top, everybody wants to be. Everybody wants your place. Right.
- [28:33]
Ralph Pittman
Exactly. Exactly. Serious.
- [28:36]
Eddie Judge
So now you're fighting everybody to stay on your platform.
- [28:39]
Ralph Pittman
Exactly. 1,000%.
- [28:42]
Edwin Ariabe
Well, you know. You know, it's funny, is with Ralph, you know, we said at the beginning, he's obviously very talented. He does different things, all these different things. He's really good at him. Another thing he's really good at is fun, because I had a bunch of fun with. I had fun with him in Vegas. Ralph and I hung out with Drew. Teddy, this is what, three years ago, right? Or two?
- [29:01]
Ralph Pittman
Three years ago.
- [29:01]
Edwin Ariabe
I think it was three years ago. I mean, we had a blast. And who would have thought both of us now would be in the middle of a divorce back then. Can you imagine if we told them?
- [29:10]
Ralph Pittman
Divorce also?
- [29:11]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah.
- [29:11]
Ralph Pittman
Are you serious?
- [29:12]
Edwin Ariabe
Yep.
- [29:13]
Ralph Pittman
I did not know that. I'm sorry to hear that, man.
- [29:15]
Edwin Ariabe
God. No, man.
- [29:16]
Eddie Judge
But who.
- [29:16]
Edwin Ariabe
Who would have known that, right? We had such a blast. I mean, you think we were, like, both in, like, these perfect relationships with how fun we. How much fun we have had and, you know, I bet if I would have told you, hey, two years from now you're gonna be divorced, or you would have told me, two years from now I was going to be divorced, or in the middle of it, I would told, you're freaking crazy.
- [29:33]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [29:34]
Edwin Ariabe
Serious, you know? Yeah. So I guess in two years, a lot. Or two, whatever it was. Two, three years. I think it was more like two years. A lot of stuff can actually change.
- [29:43]
Eddie Judge
Yes.
- [29:44]
Edwin Ariabe
So, but before we get into that, how'd you. How'd you meet Drew? And. And I guess, where did some of these issues start popping up, up?
- [29:50]
Ralph Pittman
So we actually met.
- [29:53]
Eddie Judge
We.
- [29:53]
Ralph Pittman
We met actually in Los Angeles. So I ended up taking a trip out there, and I was at a. I was at a gala. She ended up coming into the hotel, and, like, instantly, I think we kind of hit it off, ended up going and connecting, and we just got married really, really fast. Everything moved quick, you know, so literally, I was. I think I was in a state of readiness. Right. I think, you know, living a dream and being in Hollywood for a while, it starts to get to you after a while, you know, is. So I end going. We ended up dating for three. I proposed in three months. We were married in five months. She was pregnant in eight months.
- [30:28]
Eddie Judge
Wow.
- [30:29]
Ralph Pittman
So it moved really fast. But we had a lot of fun during that stage, you know, during those particular times. And I felt like he was like, all right, this is my Bonnie and Clyde. We use music is what also kept us together.
- [30:40]
Eddie Judge
Okay.
- [30:40]
Ralph Pittman
Because she sings. She's an amazing singer, by the way, you know, so she's amazing. I would produce and we would make songs for sound, different movie soundtracks and everything like that. So it was. It was amazing. I ended up playing for a mom's church. Like, it was a lot of different synergies there. And then all of a sudden, we just got to the place where things just started to just flourish. And at that point, once Makai was. Once he was pregnant with Makai, I was like, all right, everything gotta change. You know, the fun that we were having. Everything has to look different now. We have to go and create a different world. We ended up moving from LA to Chicago so that we can be around support. And I had to just go out there and just kind of take over the world. She had to sit down now because of course, she was, you know, she was pregnant. And so therefore, it was pretty much just like, all on me, just to make sure, you know, that everything was just taken care of, which I was honored to actually go and do. And we ended up having a pretty good life. And then we got the call for high school.
- [31:38]
Edwin Ariabe
And how many years into the relationship did you get that call?
- [31:40]
Eddie Judge
Now you're in Atlanta right now.
- [31:42]
Ralph Pittman
I'm in Atlanta, yes. We got the call. She got the call. I get it. But, you know, I was extremely reluctant. I was like, no, not at all.
- [31:51]
Eddie Judge
Were you familiar with the show when you got the call? Like you knew about it?
- [31:55]
Ralph Pittman
Yeah.
- [31:56]
Eddie Judge
With it.
- [31:56]
Ralph Pittman
I've seen people getting destroyed on this.
- [32:00]
Eddie Judge
And you want me to do what exactly?
- [32:03]
Ralph Pittman
So I said, no. I think they were talking about it for two years. I think she was talking about going on it by herself. But I was like, I don't want no parts of it. I make great money to begin with. There's no reason for me to actually go and do it. And on top of that, what's the benefit for me? It's not. It's a thankless, so thankless place to be, you know, and so.
- [32:22]
Eddie Judge
Plus, the guys don't get paid. I. I do have a problem with not with working for free.
- [32:28]
Edwin Ariabe
Hey, Ralph might get paid. I. I heard he does some confessionals. By the way, what's the secret to get on the confessionals? I'm Eddie. I haven't seen you in any confessionals. I shows out and do one.
- [32:36]
Eddie Judge
I charge a lot of money for confessionals.
- [32:38]
Edwin Ariabe
How'd you get in there on the.
- [32:40]
Ralph Pittman
Confessionals, Ralph go through a divorce? That's the way. That's the back door.
- [32:47]
Edwin Ariabe
That's how you do it.
- [32:48]
Eddie Judge
Oh, man.
- [32:49]
Edwin Ariabe
Man.
- [32:50]
Ralph Pittman
But, you know, so I, you know, I said no for a very long time. And then I ended up. Ended up saying, okay, I'll do it. This is the thing, though. I kind of got bamboozled into doing it because Drew told me that they were going to be paying her $30,000 an episode to do it. And I started doing the math. Quick, easy numbers. I'm like, oh, it's a no brainer. Let's go. You know? And of course, at that point, at that time, she was a stay at home mother. And so going from zero to, you know, up 20 episodes, $30,000 an episode, $600,000. I'm like, all right, cool. That makes sense.
- [33:23]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [33:24]
Ralph Pittman
And it totally was not that at all. But by that time, you pretty. We were pretty much on it. We already had moved and relocated to Atlanta and then pretty much set up shop, but I was always under the impression of that particular number. And so of course, we have to go and do a test. They got to make sure they actually Want you. Because it's a different between them calling you and saying, yeah, we're excited to have you, but they want to see how. Blend in with the. With the other housewives, you know.
- [33:51]
Eddie Judge
Oh, you had a full interview.
- [33:54]
Ralph Pittman
Well, yeah, they. We call. They call them a test.
- [33:56]
Eddie Judge
Okay.
- [33:57]
Ralph Pittman
You know, so you're doing it. You're doing basically a test where you're on. But you know how. Camera magic. They'll have cameras on everybody, but they can easily put you out. But nah. Yeah, you did well in the interviews. You know, you said the right things. But once you get around the girls, you know, for Drew first, per se, you know, if the energy wasn't there, if she couldn't hold her own, or if she kind of just shut down, down, then they can't use you. They can't do anything with you, so they'll just touch you out, and you would never exist on a show.
- [34:27]
Eddie Judge
I had no idea. Because the way they've done it in Orange county is they just pick them, throw them on the show, and they either sink or swim. And, you know, it's. It's never like, hey, let's just get together, see if there's some dynamics, what. What chemistry there might be there, what. You know, what potential might be with the cast. They never do that. They never, ever do that. You just throw them in here and like, okay, now we got to deal with this.
- [34:52]
Ralph Pittman
Yeah, we've seen probably before because we came in during COVID but there was some people that actually was filming that we never saw again, you know, so. And they cut. They easily cut them right out. Maybe sometimes you may see, like, an arm of a person, but you never see the actual person because they cut you out. And of course, that's a way for you. For them not to pay you, of course. Also, if you never appear on camera, you never appear, so you're never in that episode. We don't owe you anything. Thank you. Good luck to you.
- [35:25]
Commercial Announcer
Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop? Voted PCMag's reader's choice. Top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere. And Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit LG USA iHeart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag Reader's Choice. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
- [35:55]
Sports Announcer
Season two of unrivaled basketball is here, and the talent is unreal. Paige Beckers Nafeeza Collier, Kelsey Plumb, Brianna Stewart and more are back to redefine the game. Unrivaled basketball season two, sponsored by Samsung Galaxy Tips off January 5th on TNT, TruTV and HBO Max.
- [36:10]
Valpak Advertiser
It's the most wonderful time of the year and Valpak is here to make it even better. This month as you sip through holiday mail, don't miss the blue Valpak entertainment envelope. From dining to holiday shopping, there's a slate full of savings in your mailbox. Plus a chance to instantly win $100. That's right, you could find $100 Christmas cash inside. Want to save even more money on what you love? Go to valpak.com for local coupons and offers. It pays to open Valpak. No purchase necessary for instant win. Voip where prohibited prices are randomly inserted. See specially marked Valpak envelopes for details.
- [36:42]
Trainer Games Announcer
Ten athletes will face the toughest job interview in fantasy fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000.
- [37:01]
Eddie Judge
This is where mindset comes in.
- [37:03]
Trainer Games Announcer
Someone will be eliminated.
- [37:05]
Ralph Pittman
Pressure is coming down.
- [37:07]
Commercial Announcer
Trainer Games on Prime Video, January 8th. Watch the trailer on trainer games.com.
- [37:16]
Edwin Ariabe
So how did that change your life notoriety now? Now what happens? You're on the show. Are you getting. I mean, obviously options probably increase. Your DMS are probably blowing up now you get a little fan club. How did you start dealing with all that?
- [37:32]
Eddie Judge
Your business brain is going now. How can I leverage this?
- [37:37]
Ralph Pittman
Yes, I came on pretty unique. Also I came out pretty explosive. Probably one of the most explos guys franchise history and it was. You came in hot. I came in hot. Way too hot. Way too hot. So I.
- [37:52]
Eddie Judge
But did you get naked in the hot tub?
- [37:54]
Ralph Pittman
I did not do that, Eddie. You did, Ed.
- [37:58]
Eddie Judge
You did that.
- [38:00]
Edwin Ariabe
Day one, soft porn style.
- [38:02]
Eddie Judge
It was all downhill after day one. Bro. Where do I go from here?
- [38:08]
Ralph Pittman
Yeah, serious, serious.
- [38:10]
Eddie Judge
So tell us. Tell us about your first day. Like your. Your big day.
- [38:15]
Ralph Pittman
So I ended up so my infamous storyline. So I don't have the hot tub being naked, you know, but I went to Tampa. Tampa became my storyline that everybody just talked about and it was just crazy. But the crazy. The interesting part is that I went to Tampa before we started filming. So of course I'm naive. I don't know how reality TV works. So I'm thinking if it didn't happen on camera, it doesn't exist.
- [38:38]
Edwin Ariabe
And no face, no case.
- [38:41]
Ralph Pittman
Exactly. You know, it. So basically Our first day filming. They wanted to film actually during our real anniversary. And so I'm like, no, guys, you know, this is our anniversary. I'm not gonna. We're not gonna do it. They're like, it's not gonna be long. We just need you for an hour. I'm like, okay. So we went. And I was like, all right, it's our anniversary. I'm gonna roll out the carpet, and we just gonna, you know, really celebrate, you know? I pulled up my iPad on how I proposed to Drew. I was like, literally juice frying happy tears, which I love, by the way, you know, so she's giving me all the things that chocolate covered strawberries. I'm like, look, this is when I asked Jojo, can I marry you? And, you know, and it was like all of these different things. Producer came out. He was like, yeah, that's all good. He was like, but let's talk about where he went. I was like, oh, really? So that's what you want to do? I'm like, all right, whatever. And the thing is, this is the crazy thing. I have already spoken to Drew about, like, where I went, because, I mean, I did leave during a pandemic. It was kind of crazy. She had broke. She had tore her Achilles. She had an infection. I had gotten really pissed off also, because we were just arguing about school and all of these other things that was happening. This is the backstory. She didn't want to go to a doctor's appointment to see because he had a staph infection. So she canceled the doctor's appointment for the staph infection to go and. To go and be with the kids during homeschool, you know? And I'm like, wait a minute. I was like, but if you have a staff infection, you're gonna die. The logical decision is go to the doctors, forget about the first day of school. You know, we got. I can do it. Your mother's here. We are fine with that. Go to the doctor. So we get into the argument, and, you know, some other things happen. We get into the car, have a huge argument. And then she. And then after that, she said some things that I felt that was extremely disrespectful. And I was like, you know what? I gotta. I gotta get out of here. I need a break. So I leave, right? I go to. I don't know where I'm going. I go to Tampa. Tampa. Go to the beach. I'm running, mind you. It was the pandemic, so everybody had Covid, you know, so it was Just me up there. It's a ghost town. So I go there, I'm out there for a second, then I come back home, fall in place like nothing ever happened. We go do the filming and then when that happens, happened, we get into this argument and she's like, you know, Ralph, where did you go? And I'm like, it's not about. And I thought I said something very poetic, right? I was like, it's not about where I went, it's about why I live because that's going to prevent me from going again. I thought I said something very profound, man. They took that. They took that sound bite and killed me. And that's what ended up happening. So they were like, where did you go? Where did you go? So all the women started attacking me and everything like that when it comes honest. So I would say this. When that episode came on, it was a sad day. I was up in the closet holding myself. I can't give the hug. It was bad. So.
- [41:38]
Edwin Ariabe
So how long were you gone for?
- [41:41]
Ralph Pittman
What? Three days.
- [41:42]
Edwin Ariabe
Okay, so three days, like just not answering anything.
- [41:48]
Ralph Pittman
We talk. Oh, okay. We talked all the time.
- [41:51]
Eddie Judge
But they're just fitting the fact that.
- [41:53]
Ralph Pittman
You left, you know, via text message, you know, like, hey, you know, this person is going to come over to the house. X, Y, Z. But it wasn't anything to where I was just like gone and rolled off the face of the earth.
- [42:04]
Edwin Ariabe
I think that's fine. I thought you left for like three days and just didn't pick up your phone.
- [42:08]
Ralph Pittman
No, not at all. She. She was in contact with me pretty much the whole time. But it was just. I needed a break. I did. I needed a break. Yeah, I needed a break. So. And I understand now, I understand exactly the impact of me doing that. You know, I should have communicated. I didn't know where I was going to begin with. But by the way, I should have just been like, hey, look, this is where I'm, you know, this is where I'm going and xyz. But I thought that if the reality of it is is that. And I don't have nothing bad to say, right? I don't have anything bad to say because you and I are not in a terrible place or nothing like that. But. But I would say that going through that process, I would have thought that she would have responded differently. Like it would have been just a regular conversation. I just didn't expect her to kind of like go off about it and start crying because that not what I typically would experience with her. So it caught me off guard. But, you know, but she's a great actress. So she kind of played into this damsel in distress role. And I'm sitting here like, wait, what is going on? And whoop my ass. And so from there, I had to figure out exactly how to start navigating. I'm like, okay, I'm the villain.
- [43:16]
Eddie Judge
Yep.
- [43:16]
Ralph Pittman
All right. Since I'm the villain, how do I make sure that I could be a great villain? Because, you know, as guys, what we could do is instead of when. Instead of you going in and getting naked in the str. I was about to say this strip club, but getting naked in the jacuzzi, you could have just been sitting at home and never opening your mouth and just refusing to do anything. Right. Being quiet. Because, I mean, that's something that we could do. But this is where I say the men are dynamic because we get in there and we roll our sleeves up and we act a fool also, which also guarantees the women another season, because that's a storyline there. What did he do? Oh, my God. You know, and so by that dynamic, you become a household name yourself because you are this inf. Husband. And the husbands play a new. A huge role. Especially, I would say, you know, especially in Atlanta, you know, with Todd and. And all these guys, Peter and Apollo. During that era, the guys were dominating. They were like. They were a little crazy. Then I came in. It was me, Todd and. And Ross. You know, we were doing our thing. We would have good conversation. I would bring out the call me day in the kitchen aprons and everything like that. We were doing some things. And then also it's like, all right, if we're going to play into it, we're going to do tv. Let really do it.
- [44:31]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [44:32]
Ralph Pittman
And which is going to guarantee you're going to stay on the show. But also, let's create some opportunity. So the business. Eddie, you said it right? The business mind starts going off like, all right, this is an opportunity to be able to capitalize. All right, this and how to go and do it. Because if you do something and it's not enough. Let's use the word if it's not enough. Not, I should say, you could say tension or. Or controversy. It won't make the show. It has to be controversial.
- [45:01]
Eddie Judge
Right.
- [45:02]
Ralph Pittman
In order for do it. And so we did it, like, literally. I feel like Drew and I were at a place where we were actually having almost. We were at a place where we were both having really big scenes. I would. I had her doing music, which I also produce the Music already know, you know, so that's the name of the song that I produced with her. And so I had that being the storyline, and then I had the book being a storyline also. So she's doing her music journey, I'm doing the book journey, all at the same time time during. During the season. And I mean that, right? There is two major opportunities to make money, you know, outside of this. Because the thing about reality TV that I think people don't realize is once the cameras go down and they say you're done, literally all your money stops. So they're paying you half a million. A million. $2 million that is gone as soon as they catch you. And you got to figure out how to make that 2 million back if that's a part of your lifestyle. And that's where a lot of people end up, you know, getting themselves killed because they can't handle. They didn't create enough businesses to be able to sustain themselves once their light turns off.
- [46:06]
Eddie Judge
Right.
- [46:07]
Edwin Ariabe
Did you have any season where you didn't have any drama, or were they all drama ones?
- [46:12]
Ralph Pittman
I'm having drama right now, and I'm not even on this. I've always found myself in drama for some reason, even when I don't ask, I try to be good. I like, all right, this is going to be a calm year for me. And then my name just gets thrown in there because I feel like I'm collateral damage all the time. It's like, if you need a storyline, Paul, use Ralph's name. There you go. Yeah, Ralph.
- [46:34]
Eddie Judge
He'll do it.
- [46:35]
Edwin Ariabe
So are you still. So speaking of that. So are you. Are you.
- [46:38]
Ralph Pittman
You're living.
- [46:38]
Edwin Ariabe
Are you still living in the basement?
- [46:41]
Ralph Pittman
That's the last basement right now. So this is my grand studio here. I had my podcast and everything, but this is the podcast area here. So, yeah, I'm still here.
- [46:50]
Eddie Judge
Well, let's. Let's rewind back a little bit more before we go into that. Um, I. I know that, and I'm sure Edwin can agree there is a. Not a stigma, but kind of a curse of the Real Housewives show where there's a lot of divorces in the show. Do you feel like the show kind of forced itself in. In the cracks of your relationship, that that contributed to the divorce? Or did you have divorce as one of the things in your mind? Like, I don't know if this is going to. To be a forever relationship, you know, Was. Was that divorce the D word around before the show, or was it prominent once you got on the show?
- [47:35]
Ralph Pittman
Great question. I would say that I talked about divorce before the show actually did come around, just because I feel like from a compatibility perspective, we didn't have an opportunity to know each other as well as I probably would have needed to know each each other. Right. You know, this.
- [47:53]
Eddie Judge
You.
- [47:53]
Ralph Pittman
You. You really need time to really establish with someone to understand. All right, You.
- [47:58]
Eddie Judge
We.
- [47:58]
Ralph Pittman
We have compatibility on all of these various different levels, and there's nothing that's going to break. And so what ended up happening in my situation, I would say the show contributed because I would have stayed. And I feel like men do a really great job of just suffering. Regardless. I wanted to make sure my. Before anything else, I'm a father, and I love my kids with all my heart. And so I would have stayed because I don't believe in having anyone else raising my k. Want to make sure that I can pour into them. I didn't have my father as much in my life as much as I wanted to to begin with. And so I told myself, you know, even as I'm building all of these different things, I would. I'm making sure that I build myself up and my kids up to be the. The best they could possibly be, you know, to make sure I can give them the values and. And pour into them so they don't have a life that I had where I had to try to figure out certain things on my own. I'm going to make sure dad is there for them, and they know I here. And so I would have stayed and sacrificed regardless of anything else. I think what ended up happening is. And this happens, I think the curses for a lot of people, women. And I'm gonna say this. I'm controversial anyway. I believe that what happens is, is you get onto these platforms, and it's so much pressure because I thought that Drew wouldn't have an issue because she was an actress already. I'm like, all right, so you're used to this, right? I feel like people lose them. Women lose themselves with reality TV a lot because all of a sudden, they all of a sud these megastars overnight. And how do you deal with it? What I would say is, from an actress perspective, I think the thing that people don't realize is the pressure that comes with being a housewife, right? So as a regular actress, you people love you, and they're around you because they're like, oh, man, this role right here, you did this. You mean so much to me. This meant this. You can speak about your passion. Nobody's criticizing you about what you got on that your makeup isn't right, you know. You know, kill yourself over your hair. Like, it's all these. There's all these things. And then all of a sudden, you find yourself in this position where every single year, you got to elevate. Oh, I got to look better. Because they're going to come after me. They're going to come after me. And so you find people. And I don't know if this is on your franchise, but it's definitely on ours, where everyone is trying to keep up with the Joneses and become something. But becoming something means more money. And you spend all your money trying to give this look, look, and you don't have anything at the end of the day, but you become a great star and you got people that's applauding you and like, yeah, girl, you. This looks great. Oh, man, your fashions are great. You know, man, this is what you need to be doing. And. But that right there comes with a huge financial strain. And once you stop. And once you stop looking at things the right way, because this is what I would say. Business. Let's talk business for a second. At some level, with all businesses, there's going to be costs and expenses that's associated with it. You got to get to a place to where you kind of get net neutral, where you can actually sustain your costs, you know, and once you do that, because that's the only way you're going to get into profitability. All right, cool. I've spent enough money here. We're going to have to keep what we currently have here because it's good enough. And we're going to need to just focus on just building revenue. If you don't have that access, then you're going to kill. Kill yourself because there's no way to be able to keep up. And so I believe that we kind of got ourselves lost in that particular journey, on top of, you know, the glitz, the glamour and, you know, and the different storylines. And I think. So I think that's one big one. I think the other big one for us was that I believe that the storyline, like, for instance, if you come in and you're with the ships, that's what I would call it, right? You. You. If you're going to be something, you got to be with the shits, and you gotta have fun with it, right? But, like, for instance, if I'm gonna. So, Eddie, if I'm gonna make you my. If I'm gonna tell you, hey, we're gonna play good cop, bad Cop. You're gonna be bad cop. Right. And we're in a situation. I can't. You know, at the end of the day, once you play your backup role, I can't keep you being bad. You know, I gotta pull you back up. Like, man, Eddie is good, man. He did that. You know, we did that. And now all of a sudden we play the game, but I can't go and say, say, Eddie, you know, man. Yeah. They're like, man, Eddie was a straight with us. I can't be like, yeah, he is. I mean, he's terrible. Like, I can't. Yeah. Because then all of a sudden, the game, we lose the game. Now all of a sudden you're looking at it like, wait a minute, I did this for you.
- [52:22]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [52:23]
Ralph Pittman
This helps you, right?
- [52:24]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [52:25]
Ralph Pittman
You can't leave you in that position. I think in our case, it was like I played the role of the bad, you know, the bad boy, whatever it is, I was the villain. But you can villainize me forever. You gotta also pull me up. And so that's the things, right?
- [52:41]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [52:41]
Ralph Pittman
I think what happens is if a woman makes you be really bad, then you're going to be bad. There's nothing you can do. This show is not about us. You don't really have a chance to see who you really are. They don't know that. You know what I'm saying? When they don't know that you're over here cooking breakfast and you're doing all of these great things, you know, and you're being this charming person, you know, this charming man, because the cameras aren't there. And even if they are there, they won't show it because that doesn't fit the storyline that they're trying to show. So you need the woman to bring you up or to make you neutral. I think Cynthia Bailey from my show, she did a really good job of just making sure that she can at least humanize people and not be, you know, and not be this big victim. But, you know, at the end of the day, it's a journey. You kind of go through it. I learned a lot, I would say. And I learned that people don't care, you know, like, people don't care about who you are and what you show up as. It's only a real small community that really, truly do want to get to know you. And a lot of them are your family. You know, even friends can turn against you because they're like, look at this headline. You did this. You're trying to take her business. I'm like I am the business. What are you talking about? You know, this is built into all my money. What are you talking about here? You know, even, even, even when it comes down to this house. So you mentioned even the being in a basement.
- [54:03]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [54:04]
Ralph Pittman
It's a double edged sword. You damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you leave the house all of a sudden, you abandon the kids and you lose the kids.
- [54:12]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [54:13]
Ralph Pittman
If you say you're a simp that can't afford to go and live on your own, I'm like, oh, so it's like, nah, I guess I'm gonna just have to take it. I love my kids. I want to make sure I'm here with them. I'm not going to lose the relationship with them. They have to fight like hell because it's a money game in the courts to try to really get, you know, have access to your kids. Your kids. You have to prove yourself. But leaving is the worst thing you can do because you pretty much give up your right to your kids.
- [54:41]
Eddie Judge
And at the end of the day, Ralph, what people don't realize that watch the show is that we are real people. We're going to make decisions based on our, you know, ability to survive this situation in our lifetime. So when you have to stay in the same household, old, who gives a. And nobody should ever care or have to know the truth. This is your real life and you're going through it and it's somewhat private, you know, but because you're a public person, you can't blink without, you know, story coming out. So, oh, your eye wasn't dark enough or you didn't blink fast enough, you know, it's just, I get it, we signed up for that. But when it comes to the, the reality of our world, if you have to, you know, live in the same house for as long as you have to, who cares? With people, there's so many, so many judgments that are going to come at you because of whatever decision you make. But just stay true to yourself and understand that nobody, like you said, nobody cares. The, the true outcome, the end result, only you do. And as long as you feel good about what you're doing, that's all that matters. It really is all that matters. Not with the audience thinks. And I think you're right, some of the women do get kind of caught up with that. One of my biggest problems on our franchise, and I don't know if it's also across all the other franchises, but it's the fakeness. You know, when they come up with fake storylines. And I learned something really interesting yesterday. I was on Jeff Lewis radio show and he said something about how important it is when you're a housewife coming onto the housewife network or show world, that if you were, you know, a secretary at a law firm when you got cast, then you stay a secretary at a law firm and continue that as your life, as your career. Just because you're getting paid good amount of money being on the show doesn't mean you have to quit what you're doing because then your story goes out the window and now you're kind of fumbling like, I gotta make some up so I can be interesting. Because all I got going is I'm a housewife, a paid housewife. And that's not interesting. So that was, that was a really interesting point that Jeff made yesterday. And I learned something new about this whole journey all the time, you know, And I think that's one of the reasons why I enjoy talking to you guys. I mean, at least the good guys on the show. I'm not ready to talk to all the criminals that have been on the show yet.
- [57:13]
Ralph Pittman
No, that is funny.
- [57:20]
Commercial Announcer
Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PC Mag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere. And Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit LGUSA.com link iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.
- [57:51]
Sports Announcer
Season 2 of unrivaled basketball is here, and the talent is unreal. The best women's players on the planet are running it back with even bigger moments and bigger stakes. Don't miss as Paige Becker, Snafeeza Collier, Kelsey Plumb, Brianna Stewart and more. Take the court and redefine the game. This isn't your regular season. This is unrivaled, where the pace is faster, the energy is higher, and every athlete shines. Unrivaled basketball season two, sponsored by Samsung Galaxy, tips off January 5th on TNT, TruTV and HBO. Max.
- [58:21]
Valpak Advertiser
Your ticket to big savings is that big blue envelope in your mailbox, Valpak. It's brimming with deals from big name brands and your favorite local spots. Dining services, stuff you're already buying. All for less. And you could score $100 or other instant prizes just for opening it. Or save even faster with Mobile coupons you can use right now@valpak.com Valpak there's definitely something in it for you.
- [58:51]
Trainer Games Announcer
10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000.
- [59:10]
Eddie Judge
This is where mindset comes in.
- [59:12]
Trainer Games Announcer
Someone will be eliminated.
- [59:14]
Ralph Pittman
Pressure is coming down.
- [59:16]
Commercial Announcer
Trainer games on Prime Video January 8th.
- [59:18]
Ralph Pittman
Watch the trailer on trainergames.com.
- [59:25]
Edwin Ariabe
So, Ralph, do you ultimately think that the show caused the divorce?
- [59:31]
Ralph Pittman
Yeah, I think it's what. I think it's what cracked the door open, you know, and I think we were probably at a place where we were afraid. You know what? You know what? Interesting enough. This is something interesting that Drew told me. She was just like, well, Ralph, I brought. I talked about real problems that we were already dealing with, and I just didn't know those problems existed. You know, so. And so it's like, why would you bring me on a. On television to talk to me about something if it's a real thing? I mean, it's the worst place to do it because I don't believe you said it a second ago. Right. People bring up fake storylines all the time. I know what it is. It's entertainment. It's not the news. You know, so you're doing entertainment. You want to show glimpses of real life, but also you're going to really make. Focus on making great tv.
- [60:25]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [60:26]
Ralph Pittman
So. So. But I think going through this, it really cracked the door, you know, to where things just started becoming exposed and it just became too challenging. So I would say yes, because I would have definitely guaranteed I would have stayed in my marriage just for the simple fact, you know, I wanted to make sure I'm in my kid's life and. And we would have just figured it out. I've done it several times over. You know, I could have left a long, long time ago, but I ch. So I would say. I would say yes to definitely that this show impacted our relationship. How about you? Yeah, you know.
- [61:05]
Edwin Ariabe
You know, it's interesting that you mentioned. I mean, communication. Right. I also had no idea that. And Teddy has said this as well, so I can say it. I had no idea our relationship was in a bad place. I thought we were in a great place, but she just never communicated that to me. So that part I was surprised with. Which, again, it sounds like that's what you said as well, right. Where you were sort of surprised that you didn't really know there was some.
- [61:30]
Ralph Pittman
Issues, but the thing about it is that, you know. Yeah, that part. But on TV she makes it this big thing, but in private it's like, oh, Ralph, I love you. You know, everything is. And so it's weird. I'm like, which one are you Here? You know.
- [61:49]
Eddie Judge
They are different when the cameras are around. They have this personal. That comes.
- [61:53]
Ralph Pittman
That's my big problem. You know, it's like, it's continuity. It's continuity. I got to take it you where people last saw you.
- [62:00]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [62:00]
Ralph Pittman
And I'm like, forget about what they all saw me. This is reality. We're going to just. How about we just live in today, you know, and be present into who we are today and treat me the way you would treat me today, when the cameras are off, not when they're on. And so we, I, I have a problem with it because I feel like it's not real. Our story isn't real for us and to us. And it's not showing who we, you know, who you really are because it's.
- [62:25]
Eddie Judge
Like, I don't, I don't think honestly to hit on your point, Ralph. I don't think normal people have real stories that are interesting. We're just normal people. But we got some really smart producers and editors that create this storyline, write the storyline, edit it, and they create this pretty amazing show that's been going on for 20 years. So I, I gotta give them the credit for being so creative and so successful with putting, you know, boring, non acting, you know, trained people on TV and making a huge success out of it. Right. We're just normal people and we're not trained actors. And I don't know how to use all my levels of voices and facial lip and all kinds of skills that real acting people get, you know.
- [63:15]
Ralph Pittman
Right, right, right.
- [63:16]
Eddie Judge
So we're just making it up as we, we go and we're doing life as we go. So, you know, I got to give them credit for putting together such an awesome, successful show for almost 20 years now.
- [63:28]
Ralph Pittman
Agree. I definitely agree. Definitely couldn't agree with you more on that one.
- [63:31]
Eddie Judge
What was the, the tipping point with the decision to get divorced? Like, what happened that caused either you or her to file? Like, what, what was the catalyst?
- [63:45]
Ralph Pittman
It was an affair.
- [63:46]
Eddie Judge
Oh, it was an affair. Okay.
- [63:47]
Ralph Pittman
Yeah, it was an affair. And was it your, you know, actually crazy.
- [63:53]
Eddie Judge
Oh, okay.
- [63:54]
Ralph Pittman
But, but do you know, the funny thing is, so I couple of other things that I learned, right. Because, you know, of course, this is my first marriage. I haven't been through this journey before, so I thought that people would just go and have a conversation. Like, look, so what I did was, you know, it was a Saturday, and I think, look, we need to have a conversation. Conversation. This is what I want to do. You know, I think we should go to certain ways. Yeah. Yada, you know, and I want to find. I'm going to file for divorce.
- [64:20]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [64:20]
Ralph Pittman
And so, you know, I'm sure, like, all right, that's what you want to do. And so we had that conversation on Saturday. On Monday, basically, her and tried to go on file. So it was like a race. So that's another thing.
- [64:35]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [64:35]
Ralph Pittman
I feel like on TV we just became a spit show because. And I can laugh about it. Like me. Let me see. Let me say this, right? We've been going through this divorce for two and a half years. I just. Some of this stuff I just got to just now laugh about because I'm like, this is two and a half insane. But on national television, they started making these different cartoons about us racing to the courthouse to go on file. And that Drew one, because literally Drew filed Drew's attorney. I had the conversation with her, but her attorney was able to submit her information. I think like an actual hour before my turn. He said. So I'm just like. So it looks like we both found on the same day. Hers went in first. And so it was absolutely just insane. So I'm like, here we go. So that's a note to. For all that have been watching, you can't go and give notice. Just go and just get it done.
- [65:27]
Edwin Ariabe
By the way, very. Ralph. Very similar situation. Very simple.
- [65:37]
Eddie Judge
I think when you have TV experience or media experience, there's a real.
- [65:42]
Edwin Ariabe
We're rookies on that one, Ralph.
- [65:43]
Eddie Judge
The first one, the first one to file is going to get the story out there. So. Which means the first story out is going to stick. It's what happens after that that nobody cares about. It's this first story. So I think that's the whole, you know, purpose behind filing first. At the end of the day, though, it's the same shit show.
- [66:03]
Ralph Pittman
Can agree with you more on that.
- [66:05]
Eddie Judge
Yeah. Well, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through that. Would you say that you're on the other end of it or you're still in the, you know, muddy, sickening side of divorce?
- [66:17]
Ralph Pittman
Well, I'm still in the basement.
- [66:19]
Eddie Judge
Okay.
- [66:19]
Ralph Pittman
But no, but I think the. The reality of it is, you know, I think you go. You go through these phases, right? First you're Hurt. Then you go through and you become angry, and, you know, and then after a while, you get to a place to where you know it. Everything that you do, everything you can say because, you know, of course, it's a. A big fight. You said this. You said this. This is my narrative. And I feel like, as men, and when I know you can probably agree with this, we're fighting for our voice of say, you know what the actual truth is, because now people are looking at you like it's you. You did this. It's your fault. Everybody points the finger. Everybody chooses to say side.
- [67:00]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [67:00]
Ralph Pittman
And so for me, I ended up getting to a place. I even created a podcast, you know, called Ralph in a Basement. And Ralph in the Basement was to basically tell my own narrative because I couldn't rely on anyone else, including the show, to tell my narrative because they don't really care about me. I'm not the housewife, you know, and so which I do appreciate the network for actually, you know, definitely supporting me and, you know, allowing me to tell the piece that I did. I feel like I can always have more, you know, of course. And humanize me and show who I really, really am. But they. They did it. They did. They did a lot for me. I mean, I can say that. And then you get to a place to where it's just like, hey, you know what? This probably doesn't really matter as much, you know, and so I look at my kids, and I kind of now finally have broken out of the angry, bitter stage or whatever like that. I ended up creating a song called Wish youh. Well.
- [67:54]
Eddie Judge
You just launched that, right?
- [67:56]
Ralph Pittman
I just launched that. I just launched it. So it's available on all platforms, by the way. But check that. Well, is. I think it's the ult song just to say, hey, look, I don't care about what narratives you say, I don't care about. If you lie about me, you do anything, you badmouth me, you. You know, at the end of the day, I wish you well, and it's something that I can go and put out there and have a smile on my face. I think, yeah, I'm gonna talk about myself, but I don't know if you guys can relate to it. The. For men when we're emotional, or for myself when I'm emotional. That means I care. You got it? But when I stopped caring, I just put a smile on my face and I'm like, yeah, you know what? I wish you well. Yeah, you know, I'mma focus on me. I know. I got a lot of healing to do. And I do because, you know, even getting out there, so some things I gotta break myself down. It's a lot of things. You also realize that you did wrong on your side. But I could have done this better, you know. You know, I failed in this area, you know, and I also recognize areas that, where I probably could have treated you better or given her the things that, that she may have wanted at the time, but they didn't. I didn't care about it as much because they didn't fit into the grand scheme of things from a business perspective.
- [69:07]
Eddie Judge
Right.
- [69:08]
Ralph Pittman
You know, but these are things that, from an emotional perspective that she felt like she might have needed. I don't know whether or not that would have probably prevented anything from being the outcome. But there are things that I need to learn for myself because my next relationship is going to matter then. And, you know, and I have a daughter that I'm raising. I want to make sure that she also understands certain dynamics around how. And I can teach and like, hey, you know what? This is where dad made a mistake or this is something that I did wrong and be able to learn from my mistakes and be able to grow because I think that's the big thing. We can't take scars with us. We as men, we need to heal, you know, and we need to give ourselves grace to allow ourselves to be able to do that. Because sometimes we do. We do break. Men commit suicide the most out of anybody in divorce.
- [69:52]
Eddie Judge
Yeah, men do.
- [69:59]
Commercial Announcer
Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop voted PCMag's Reader's Choice Top Laptop Brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere. And Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit LGUSA.com iheart for great CDC seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
- [70:29]
Sports Announcer
Season 2 of unrivaled basketball is here, and the talent is unreal. The best women's players on the planet are running it back with even bigger moments and bigger stakes. Don't miss as Paige Becker, Snafeeza Collier, Kelsey Plumb, Brianna Stewart and more take the court and redefine the game. This isn't your regular season. This is unrivaled. Where the pace is, is faster, the energy is higher, and every athlete shines. Unrivaled basketball. Season 2, sponsored by Samsung Galaxy, tips off January 5th on TNT TruTV and HBO. Max.
- [70:59]
Valpak Advertiser
Your ticket to big savings is that big blue envelope in your mailbox. Valpak. It's brimming with deals from big name brands and your favorite local spots. Dining services, stuff you're already buying. All for less. And you could score $100 or other instant prizes just for opening it. Or save even faster with mobile coupons you can use right now@valpak.com Valpak there's definitely something in it for you.
- [71:30]
Trainer Games Announcer
10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000.
- [71:49]
Eddie Judge
This is where mindset comes in.
- [71:50]
Trainer Games Announcer
Someone will be eliminated.
- [71:53]
Ralph Pittman
Pressure is coming down.
- [71:55]
Commercial Announcer
Trainer games on Prime Video January 8th.
- [71:57]
Ralph Pittman
Watch the trailer on trainergames.com.
- [72:03]
Eddie Judge
What would.
- [72:03]
Edwin Ariabe
Be that thing that if you can go back to, you would change? I mean, curious, what would I change?
- [72:09]
Ralph Pittman
I probably would have taken more time to go and take her out on dates and stuff just to make sure that she knew that I appreciated and loved her. You know, I think I was so focused on getting money and driving forward. Like, all right, we got these opportunities, and I saw a short window of opportunity. I'm like, all right, this show might end next year, so what can we get done? You know, let's continue to drive this thing because if we're making X, this is what we. We can do. The reality of it is this platform is great because you can actually be able to scale a business 10 times faster if you use the platform the right way. Yeah, you know, you can. It's really possible, but you need to make sure it's done correctly. And so that's where my focus was opposed to going out and just making sure that we were together and we were on the same page. And I feel like if especially being on television because now we're kind of. We're now celebrities, right? We're all very, very well known and very popular for good or bad. But I think. I think if we were able to actually sit down and make sure that we were unified and we would have probably been able to allow no one to come between us because I believe a big part of also our demise is so many. You got so many different voices coming into your head. Who should you listen to, who has the right thing? And all of a sudden you got the producers, you got the friends, you got the f, have makeup artists, hair stylists, you know, your mother, your. Your Auntie and. And all. You got so many different voices. How do you make sure that you can still hear your wife's voice and your husband's voice so that you guys are the only ones in the room and you can be able to silence the noise? I, We. I would say that we failed horribly at that. And so I would have taken more time to really make sure that we had a solid foundation. And if we did didn't, I would have stopped right then and there and be like, all right, we can't film until you and I get on the same page, until you and I have one voice. And we won't allow anybody to be able to separate us. Because I don't believe in allowing nobody to break your marriage unless it's the two of you making a conscious decision. There should never be any outside force. Even when you ask the question, do you believe the show broke you up? It should never be a thing or a time where a show should be able to do anything because it shouldn't have that much influence, but it's does, you know, and we also fell victim for that.
- [74:28]
Edwin Ariabe
I love that answer, by the way. I think if I look back at mine, that's probably what I would do as well. I think we. I started taking for granted the times we spent together. We used to go out at least. We used to have at least one date a week, no matter what, and we would do it in the daytime. And then we just stopped. As I look back, I started thinking we started. We stopped doing that one on one time because there was so many things that we had. The kids.
- [74:50]
Commercial Announcer
Kids.
- [74:50]
Edwin Ariabe
And you know, I thought I was doing my thing with the kids, which was showing her love by doing that, but in reality, we just stopped having that, that weekly. Just you and her type moments, and you could easily get lost and not do it. And then you just forget about it because it just becomes sort of a habit. You don't even realize it's happening.
- [75:10]
Eddie Judge
I remember you. You talking about that actually, with. When we first started the podcast and you guys said something very interesting. That makes sense now. It sounds like when you get as busy as you guys are, we. We all are very busy.
- [75:25]
Edwin Ariabe
And I got, I got. I also got to your point. I was focused on just bringing in money.
- [75:30]
Ralph Pittman
Right.
- [75:31]
Edwin Ariabe
I got focused on this business and I'm. I'm gonna make this thing grand.
- [75:35]
Ralph Pittman
Security company. Yes.
- [75:37]
Edwin Ariabe
And, you know, I started a solar company at the same time too. So I was just. Between that and the kids. Yeah, I was taking all my time and I really just stopped paying attention to the one on one time. You know, we're spending time together as a family, but we stopped spending that one on one time.
- [75:56]
Eddie Judge
But the one on one time, I think that's the most valuable for me anyways because we still get it. And this is probably just me thinking it in my own little world. But it's when it's spontaneous and you do certain things that just happen and you realize, holy, I have, you know, my partner with me and this happened and we'll never forget it. And we like to do a lot of first things together like travel to a certain destination for the first time together. But the point I'm trying to make is when you were talking about your relationship back then, and I think Teddy's the one that said you guys schedule your sex sessions. I'm like, okay, now you're way too busy. You have to put, I'm going to have sex at 2:30 in the afternoon because the kids are at school and everybody's gone. And this our only window. It's like I'm supposed to get it up on the spot. I mean, this thing's got a mind of its own. At my age, when it gets up, it's time, you know. But I think it's that spontaneity I, I appreciate mostly with my wife, you know, and even today it still happens. Like we're in the kitchen, all our kids are pretty much gone. So we can get frisky in the kitchen. And it's fun, you know, those are the kind of things, right? But if you stop doing those things, I think that's where the magic kind of goes away. Like those are, those are the moments. And even just going out to dinner once a week, that can get old too. Unless it's spontaneous and, and we've had those too. Like, hey, you want to go to dinner? Yeah. Where? I don't know, let's just go find a place and just. That adventure was fun enough that we, we didn't have to, you know, call our PR company to call that restaurant that's always sold out that we, nobody can get into just to get into this restaurant, you know, just to have that experience. I rather have that, you know, what are you feeling like today? Let's just go venture out and figure it out, you know.
- [77:53]
Ralph Pittman
I got a question for you. So how did you, how did you navigate not talk? Like when you actually did all those moments where you can enjoy each other. How did you not talk about reality TV and the things that's happened and what you did on a scene versus how you should have acted, things related to, I feel like that was a big part of my thing. I remember we went out to Mexico one time. I had this amazing penthouse and it was the absolute worst vacation in the world. We, we flew out because our tradition, we would fly out after a reunion and I'm like, all right, come on, let's go. We're gonna go and enjoy ourselves. We're gonna go on with woosa, celebrate getting done with it, finishing up, you know, a new season. And literally we argued and fought, thought about reality TV the entire time. And it was terrible to the point where I was like, you know, I think I'm ready to go home. Yeah, let me check, Let me see when I can get on another flight here. It's time to go. But how did you actually go to that base?
- [78:49]
Eddie Judge
It's, it's hard to navigate through that, honestly, because I, I, when my wife got fired the first time, it took me 12 months to get her off the ledge and to realize that we don't need the show financially and we have a successful company and we have other ways to make money because she's very entrepreneur. Well, which is what I really admire about her. She thinks differently. She thinks, you know, about just building things and doing things for real, not for show purposes, but for real life. Right. So when, when we finish filming or when, when the season's over, I had, I, it takes a long time for me to get her to stop and say, can we just go on a break? You need a break. You've been working five days a week, seven days a week, you need a break. You're getting sick, you're not feeling great. So last year for her birthday, she decided to get a medical procedure. I think she got eye lift or something like that. But, like, okay, on your birthday, really, now I can't take you anywhere because I like to travel too.
- [79:53]
Ralph Pittman
Right.
- [79:53]
Eddie Judge
So this year I had a, like, really pry into her and twist her arm, go, okay, this season or this birthday, I'm going to take you away. I don't care where you need to tell me. And it took about three weeks for her to, you know, have any ounce of interest in it. And I realized it, I'm going to book it and you're going to go and you're going to have to clear your calendar. And I did so because it's her birthday. And there was a lot more dynamics going on here. Like my grandmother turning 100 and she's like, her birthday is two years two days before, my wife's like, which one do I celebrate here? Right? But my, my final conclusion was I booked the trip to Yosemite. Just a simple trip over to Yosemite, where, I'm sorry, Yellowstone. We're just going to have a little good time, restaurants tour, see nature, see the beautiful, America. It's something we've never done together before, and it's going to happen. And I think now that she's looking forward to it as of yesterday, because I booked this two weeks ago. She's like, oh, now I'm thinking about it. I think it's going to help her really come off that world of TV and start looking at us, you know what I mean? Because when you're on tv, you're always up here thinking, I got to entertain. I got to know what to say. I got to wear this. I got to, you know, do that. So to get her to get down and start thinking about what's really important, it's not that too hard, but it's one of the challenges. And, and I know that she can do it because she was ready to go in, you know, guns blazing this season. And the biggest curve that came to her is when Teddi was diagnosed with cancer. And I've never seen her crash and burn so quick and not, not realize, you know, she's on a TV show. She's got a lot of balls, you know, in the air. You can't just quit. But she had to to, because that what was more important to her in her life is, you know, her friends, her best friend's health. And it really, really hit her hard. I can't imagine if something happened to me, what would it do to her? But that's real. That's, that's, that's the reality of reality tv. And, and again, she got judged and criticized like, oh, you should quit forever, and, you know, you shouldn't have quit, or, you know, it's never one or the other, right? But she got through it. And I' like, how do you do it, babe? You know, I really don't know how she does it. She's, she has something in her that she can deal with all that. And if it was me, I'd be like, done. I don't want anything to do. And that's kind of what's allowed me to stay out of the drama. You know, I learned early on, like, this is not a house husband show. This is a housewife show. So let them fight, let them talk, let them do their thing, and you're even Then you're still end up being, you know, some sort of collateral. And their stupid stories, you know, the stupid stories that these other women make up about you. Do you have any of those? Like, the other women make up any stupid stories about you?
- [83:02]
Ralph Pittman
Oh, man, my second. My first season, they came out and was like, yeah, Ralph's gay. I'm like, wait, what? Where did this come from? You know, first of all, this is not true. And I don't know who made this up, who said it, who said it, but nobody was ever going to say this person said it. So, yeah, I got all kind of stupid things that people have said, you know, but those are things that they. Those are things you just got to go and try to deal with and navigate. And it's not always easy. It's not always easy. It's a lot of pressure.
- [83:34]
Eddie Judge
Fortunately, when the rumor or lie is not true, you have nothing to prove. Right. But when you're investigated by the FBI or you're committing some sort of fraud, and you have to come on to social media and try to justify all the things that are going on, that usually is a red flag. Right. That's usually an indication that a lot of that's true.
- [83:59]
Ralph Pittman
Those are some real problems.
- [84:01]
Eddie Judge
Yes. And I don't want anything to do with them.
- [84:04]
Ralph Pittman
I have one other question, you know, because one of the things we also tried to do some other business also on a show. Matter of fact, this is another area of contention that we ended up having. So we actually were working with someone and created a brand called Drop it with Drew. And so Drew was running this business. Dropping with Drew was a weight loss program. And she ended up saying that she was the CEO of the company, and they ended up calling her out on it. So it was working with her help, you know, promote it and everything else, because it really was a great program, but somebody else owned it. We were basically like, influencers on it. And then, you know, they branded it, you know, so. Which is something that people do a lot of. And what I did was I was like, I can't be anywhere near it. Because if it's one thing as a woman, you can be a great liner. And they love you. Oh, my God, she lies. She's amazing. And they love you for it. As a man, I think as soon as somebody says he creates fake business, just like, you know, the. The FBI is investigating you, wherever the case would be, don't touch him. He's gonna go to jail at some point. And so all of a sudden you become that guy. Yeah. I was like, I can't do anything. I can't be close to this because business is something I really doing in real life.
- [85:15]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [85:16]
Ralph Pittman
You can't have any one thing attached to my name or any kind of scandal or lies or anything else like that. Call me a bad husband, you know, but don't call me a bad business person. I have to have integrity, and those things actually do mean something. Well, so would you agree that I made the right decision by pulling away from the business, or would you have done it? Or would you have stayed in the trenches and be like, we're going to burn together?
- [85:40]
Edwin Ariabe
No, I mean, I think you have to keep it about integrity.
- [85:43]
Eddie Judge
Right?
- [85:43]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah. By your character. And if something's not aligned with. With your character, you know, you got to. You got to go with what your character is. And, you know, I always say, under pressure, people's character will be revealed.
- [85:54]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [85:54]
Edwin Ariabe
And, you know, I think you did the right thing based on, you know, that's you. You wanted to be truthful about what you were about in business. And I think ultimately you have to protect that image.
- [86:06]
Eddie Judge
I agree 100%. And my similar story is when I had the gym, I made sure that when we filmed, because the show wanted to film all the time there. It's our livelih, it's our lifestyle, it's our business. And I made sure that we never filmed during regular business hours because I have actual clients that, you know, pay us their money to come train and work out and improve their health. They're not paying me to be on my TV show or my wife's TV show. Right. So it's super important for me to distinguish. Okay. I might have some clients and members that might want to be on tv. I mean, there's a lot of people that want to be on TV and are willing to volunteer to be in this workout or this. This scene or whatever. But it was never like, hey, this is a real class that's going on now, and these are all real members. None of that was happening because it's not real. A real business. It's, I'm training you one on one, or I'm working with you one on one. And it's here. It's not for TV purposes, you know.
- [87:10]
Ralph Pittman
Right, right.
- [87:11]
Eddie Judge
I think you did it. You made the right decision.
- [87:15]
Ralph Pittman
I appreciate that. And I thought so because I feel great about my decision. But she was this. I think that was another cracking, a breaking point. She was just like, you know what, Ralph? You don't support me. There's certain things I can do. You know, I can talk about the Tampa situation. I can go. Put me with. Do whatever else you need to do. I can be down with you with that. But my character, my integrity, those are things that stay with you for the rest of your life. And that's something I got to stand on.
- [87:42]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [87:43]
Edwin Ariabe
Yep. That's one. Like you said, that's the character that no one can take that away from you.
- [87:46]
Eddie Judge
Right.
- [87:48]
Edwin Ariabe
Your talent, all that stuff can go away, but your character, you know, that's something you keep forever.
- [87:52]
Eddie Judge
So I do have one more question. Speaking of character. We talked about this in our last interview with Frankie, and I really, really enjoyed the conversation because it had everything to do with integrating your next chapter of your life with. With your ex partner and her new partner. And what they've done is they've just raised children together. They've traveled together, they had. They go to the movies together. They do all this crazy shit that normal people don't do, you know, like in a breakup. Do you ever see yourself having that kind of lifestyle where you and Drew kind of get along as friends now that there's no, for lack of better description, sexual tension? No. No sexual relationships. But you know what? You're the par. You're going to raise the kids together, and you're going to show them, you know, that you ultimately, at the end of the end of the day, you have to respect each other and go as far as traveling, going on vacation as a family, celebrating holidays as a family. Can you envision that?
- [88:57]
Ralph Pittman
We've already done it.
- [88:58]
Eddie Judge
Oh, you have?
- [88:59]
Ralph Pittman
Yeah, we've actually did it. We took a cruise, you know, just to take the kids out. Just, you know, because my. My thing is, is I feel like adult. My kids don't deserve none of this. Right. It's adults that do stup things.
- [89:12]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [89:13]
Ralph Pittman
And so I want to make sure that we show up as a unified front for our kids now, you know, once everything is finalized, said, done, you know, and signed, sealed, and delivered, I don't know how it'll be. But my thing is, even with the book, the stepping parenting, I believe, of integrating, you know, because you don't want to create a toxic environment for the family, because then that's what the kids are going to be a byproduct of, you know?
- [89:40]
Eddie Judge
Exactly.
- [89:40]
Ralph Pittman
And so my goal is to try to figure out how to really be able to solve some of these different challenges that may plague us. And it's. It's easier said than done, of course, because even, you know, Eddie, even talking about Your situation, you know, it's like, all right, this is what I'm dealing with here. But, you know, how do you. If. If there's a way to create or cultivate an environment that is positive, I just don't know how that's going to look yet. I'm not there at that point of integrating everything together. But at some point in time, it does have to. I would. I would like it to happen to some degree. I just don't know how that looks as of yet. So it's like I'm just, you know, being positive and being optimistic that everything will work itself out. And also, even my kids making sure that they're happy because I don't know what it looks like and feels like to live away from, you know? Yeah. And so those are things, you know. Edwin, are you still living at home?
- [90:36]
Edwin Ariabe
90% of the time, yes. 90% of the time, yeah. So we're doing this thing called nesting. But then after Teddy got sick, now I'm sort of helping take care of her. So that's where I'm here 90% of the time still. And I have, like, one, two days where I stay at the other house.
- [90:52]
Ralph Pittman
Got it. Understood. So, you know, even in that situation. I'm sorry to hear about that also, man.
- [90:57]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah, it's a double whammy.
- [90:59]
Eddie Judge
Yeah, it is.
- [90:59]
Ralph Pittman
It is. So for me, it's like, all right, how do I make sure that, you know, everything is positive and how it is to live away from your kids and. And have. And not able to have access to them where something happens, I can get to them real quick. Because right now, that's the life I live. If I need to see them, I can see them. Even in the midst of this two and a half year divorce, if I need to see my kids right now, as soon as they come home from school, I'll see them every. I see them every day, you know, unless I'm traveling. But going into a world where it's like, ah, you can't see them for this amount of time, I just don't know how that feels. And so that's a new dynamic that I have to enter into and journey into, too. And so everything is new. It's a. I think it's a season of new beginnings. And, you know, that's something I'm just trying to just be optimistic about. But I don't know how it feels. People can tell you about it, but it's another thing to actually experience it for yourself.
- [91:54]
Eddie Judge
And as you're talking, I'm thinking About right now. You know, one of the most common things that they do in divorce is they give the parents 5050 custody. And that's considered fair, right? But what the courts don't really think about is the case kids, that. That ultimately becomes a possession for parents. Like, it's my time. You can't talk to your own kid on my time. I can't believe. I can't tell you how toxic that is. It's just so bad that, like, you just proved the point. Like, I. If I want to wake up and talk to my child and see my child, there should be no one between me and my child. To, to cut that communication. I don't care who you are, right? So to have that possession and think, oh, it's on my time, so you can't talk to my. It comes down to the parents, it comes down to the person. And what you guys do together is ultimately going to affect the kids, right? So if you can get yourself there, Ralph, to a point where, you know what, it. It doesn't matter what she says, but you want to keep that door open between you two. So if one morning she wakes up and she has to talk to the kids, you have to be like, hate this girl, but you gotta let her talk to the kids and vice versa, right? No matter how much you pissed her off or she hit, she hates you. If you want to wake up that next morning and they're not with you, they're with your ex, you have to have that ability to just make a phone call or even come over and see your kids. I don't get why it's so important to have a 5050 custody where you can't see your kid. That drives me nuts.
- [93:30]
Ralph Pittman
You know, interesting enough, I don't have 50, 50, 50 right now, so, you know, I have visitation rights in my own house. You know, this is. It's actually, it is what it is.
- [93:43]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [93:44]
Ralph Pittman
Primary custody of the kids. At this moment, I have first, third and fifth weekend. So on Friday, it starts to become my weekend, you know, to where I'm with the kids. But as mentioned, it's not. It's. It's some things I can't do, of course, because how it is, is it's kind of separated. But at the same time, you know, I still go up there if I need to, to go and do certain things. I just try to make sure we just respect each other's boundaries more than anything else. And I think I love your point, but I don't think that's going to be an issue with us, because I think there will be an open door of communication between the both of us. And regardless, at the end of the day, my son got my blood running through me. She can't handle that because he's a little bit of a wild card, so he's gonna need some help with him. The great thing thing is they're daddy kids, you know? Yeah. They're dead because they're not going to allow themselves not to be able to get in contact with me. They come downstairs and wake me up, or if I'm. Whatever I'm doing, they run into my office. This is something that they do on a regular basis. And so it will. It will hurt them, but they. They're. I believe that that will continue. I made sure. I also bought both of them cell phones so that if I need to speak with them, I just call them directly, unless she takes the phone away, you know, But I can reach out to them and they can reach out to me without any kind of problem. So we don't have a toxic relationship to where it's like, hey. And then also, I've wished her well. Just like my song.
- [95:09]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [95:10]
Ralph Pittman
You know, so it's. So. It's all good. It's all love. It's all love on this side, you know, But I'm just focusing on. Just trying to make sure that my kids, my family, everybody was doing well and thriving. That's the goal of why we become parents in the first place.
- [95:24]
Eddie Judge
Yeah. Yeah. That's great. And that's a great attitude. Thank you so much, Ralph.
- [95:30]
Edwin Ariabe
Thank you so much.
- [95:31]
Eddie Judge
Great getting to know you. I knew I would like you after I saw that you have all. All these things you've done in your life. Keep doing what you're doing, man. I mean, you're living your life, and. And I really admire that. Keep doing what you're doing.
- [95:42]
Ralph Pittman
I do appreciate it. Thanks for having me, guys. Keep doing what? I love this platform. Let's keep it going.
- [95:48]
Edwin Ariabe
Ralph, you going to Bravicon?
- [95:50]
Ralph Pittman
No, they're not gonna invite me.
- [95:51]
Eddie Judge
Yeah.
- [95:54]
Ralph Pittman
I am the weakest link, you know, right now. But I don't. Haven't gotten that invite yet, but, you know, I don't know. All right, all right.
- [96:02]
Edwin Ariabe
Maybe you and I will crash it.
- [96:05]
Ralph Pittman
That would be something we need to have. Like, Eddie.
- [96:08]
Edwin Ariabe
Eddie can sneak us in through the back.
- [96:10]
Eddie Judge
I could totally sneak you into the back.
- [96:12]
Ralph Pittman
Seriously. We can have like a meet and greet off to the side or something like that. Exactly.
- [96:16]
Edwin Ariabe
Yeah, exactly. On the side.
- [96:18]
Eddie Judge
Totally.
- [96:21]
Edwin Ariabe
All right, guys.
- [96:22]
Eddie Judge
Boys, thank you. So much. We'll see you again soon.
- [96:24]
Edwin Ariabe
All right, See you guys.
- [96:25]
Eddie Judge
Bye, Ralph.
- [96:26]
Ralph Pittman
Bye.
- [96:26]
Eddie Judge
Bye, Ralph.
- [96:32]
Commercial Announcer
Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PCMag's reader's choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.
- [97:03]
Sports Announcer
Season 2 of unrivaled basketball is here, and the talent is unreal. The best women's players on the planet are running it back with even bigger moments and bigger stakes. Don't miss as Paige Beckers, Nafiza Collier, Kelsey Plumb, Brianna Stewart and more take the court and redefine the game. This isn't your regular season. This is unrivaled, where the pace is faster, the energy is higher and every athlete shines. Unrivaled basketball season two, sponsored by Samsung Galaxy, tips off January 5th on TNT, TruTV and HBO Max.
- [97:33]
Valpak Advertiser
Your ticket to big savings is that big blue envelope in your mailbox, Valpak. It's brimming with deals from big name brands and your favorite local spots, dining services, stuff you're already buying, all for less. And you could score $100 or other instant prizes just for opening it. Or save even faster with mobile coupons you can use right now@valpak.com Valpak there's definitely something in it for you.
- [98:03]
Ralph Pittman
This time of year.
- [98:04]
Eddie Judge
Most of us are checking off our.
- [98:05]
Ralph Pittman
Holiday gift lists, but identity thieves have.
- [98:08]
Commercial Announcer
Lists, too, and your personal information might be on them.
- [98:11]
Ralph Pittman
Protect your identity with LifeLock. LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second and alerts you to threats you could miss. If your identity is stolen, Lifelock will.
- [98:21]
Commercial Announcer
Fix it, guaranteed, or your money back.
- [98:24]
Ralph Pittman
Make this season about joy, not Identity theft.
- [98:27]
Commercial Announcer
With LifeLock, save up to 40% your.
- [98:29]
Ralph Pittman
First year@lifelock.com iHeart terms apply.
- [98:33]
Podcast Host
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [98:36]
Eddie Judge
Guaranteed human.