The Stuffed Eagle Has Landed (Southern Charm Recap)

Summary

Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

Episode: The Stuffed Eagle Has Landed (Southern Charm Recap)

Date: December 18, 2025

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Overview

In this lively episode, Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge (joined by Dolores for the day) break down Episode 5 of Southern Charm, dishing out their trademark unfiltered Housewives perspective. They take listeners through the messy love triangles, juicy friendship drama, and signature quirks of the Charleston crew—especially focusing on Patricia, Craig, Sally, and the notorious "stuffed eagle" shenanigans at Craig’s Memorial Day party. Along the way, the hosts veer into candid discussions about parenting, holiday stress, and vaginal rejuvenation, blending real-life moments with their reality TV obsessions.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Catching Up: Holiday Talk, Philanthropy, Parenting (03:25–08:25)

• Holiday Stress & Shopping: Teddi confesses to being a last-minute Christmas shopper, while Tamra says she's “done, but keeps shopping anyway.”
  • "Come on, you know better than that. I'll be doing it the day before..." — Teddi (04:33)
• Philanthropy at the Holidays: They discuss buying gifts for nuns and supporting women’s shelters; Dolores talks about the emotional experience of sponsoring a family in need.
  • "We have some nuns that have recently come to town, and I wanted to make them feel at home. I bought them, like, really nice fuzzy blankets." — Teddi (05:00)
  • "We sponsored a family one year. Boy, it's really eye opening." — Tamra (05:55)
• Heavy News – Rob Reiner Family Tragedy: The hosts touch on sad real-world events, reflecting on parenting and mental health.
  • "As a parent, you don't know what can happen with your children along the way. ... There could be so many different factors." — Teddi (06:58)

2. Southern Charm Recap: Patricia’s World (08:31–11:10)

• Patricia as the Queen Bee: Both hosts gush over Patricia's lifestyle, humor, and wealth.
  • "If I wanted to be someone in my older years, I want to be Patricia. Witty." — Teddi (08:39)
  • Debate over whether her whopping fortune is “old money” or from her billionaire husband.
  • "Do we know where Patricia's money came from?" — Tamra (09:06)
  • "Her husband was a billionaire who partnered with Goldman Sachs." — Tamra (09:55)
• Patricia’s Relationship with Madison: Compared to their own real-life support systems.
  • "I feel like Patricia's like her go-to, like Paul is to you when you download him and I download Eddie." — Tamra (10:13)
• Madison’s Firefighter Husband: Clarifying why he’s often out of state.

3. Patricia’s Birthing Story, Breastfeeding & Generational Shifts (16:47–18:39)

• Labor in the Old Days: Patricia’s “one and done” birth story inspires Teddi and Tamra to reveal their own experiences.
  • "She said it was a one and done after a couple days of labor and no epidural." — Tamra (16:47)
• Differences in Generational Parenting & Knowledge: Teddi was clueless at her first pregnancy.
  • "First time I was ever at a gynecologist was when I was pregnant." — Teddi (18:40)

4. Love Triangles, Friendship Drama, & Hot Tub Controversies (19:18–32:01)

• Sally, Charlie & Craig’s Complicated Tangle:
  • Sally is in pursuit of Craig, ignoring friend Vanita’s warnings; Charlie is also into Craig but pretending otherwise.
  • "I think Sally is... not being a good friend to Vanita. ... She's just does not care. There's more men in the south than one guy." — Teddi (20:03)
  • “If he told Sally to go stand in traffic, she would right now. Because she's hot for that D.” — Teddi (29:54)
  • Charlie downplays her crush but hints at competition—foreshadowing betrayal.
  • "But then in her confessional...she's already doing the build up to justify that she's gonna screw her friend over..." — Teddi (30:24)
• Austin, Shep, and the Ex Factor:
  • Discussions about Austin’s lack of commitment and possible involvement with Sally.
  • "He's probably going to end up with Sally." — Tamra (23:08)
• Friendship Fallout: Predicting the group will turn on each other by season’s end.
  • "They're all gonna hate each other by the end of the season." — Teddi (39:51)
  • Noted shift in Vanita's approach toward Craig (from cold to bringing gifts and being friendly).

5. Humorous Analyses: Decor, Chickens, and “Penis Coladas” (27:10–29:59)

• Set Activities: The hosts joke about producers giving house tasks just to keep scenes interesting.
  • "Can you go to Sally's house? And then can you guys just, like, bake a cake?" — Tamra (27:11)
• Craig’s Backyard and Chickens: The impracticality of backyard chickens (“the HOA would be there so fast”).
• Drink Names and Flirting:
  • "Charlie's good to get the frozen pina colada. The penis coladas." — Teddi (22:01)
  • Sally's willingness to do anything Craig suggests sparks further ribbing.

6. The Legendary “Stuffed Eagle” Moment at Craig’s Pool Party (32:18–33:40)

• Shep’s Arrival in Full Costume:
  • Shep shows up wearing a stuffed eagle Speedo, gun holsters, and a George Washington wig—setting off laugh-out-loud reactions.
  • "I'll never look at an eagle the same." — Teddi (32:53)
  • "Now and then to top it off, he had to stuff it with tissue paper. That's not saying much because it was like...that was like an anaconda in there." — Teddi (33:09)
  • "It was an eagle. The eagle has landed. ... It was a bald eagle... All right. It was tiny." — Tamra and Teddi (33:21—33:33)

7. Breakdown of the Hot-Button Party Argument (38:49–39:51)

• Craig’s Tension with Austin and Shep:
  • Craig is upset from previous party drama; the hosts debate the merits of his actions.
  • "If he thinks that was justified, you want the truth, in New Jersey that would be justified because he was getting his balls busted." — Teddi (38:57)
  • "When you threw something Shep said to you in his face...that was wrong. Sorry. Done. I will never tell you anything again." — Teddi (39:52)

8. The Vaginal Rejuvenation Saga: TMI & Transparency (41:08–43:34)

• Who Said What, Who Told Whom: The gossip chain surrounding Molly’s vaginal surgery.
  • "So Molly heard that Sally was talking shit about her vagina..." — Tamra (40:30)
  • The hosts agree it was Vanita, not Sally, who had the real “big mouth.”
• Candid Details: Tamra and Dolores discuss the whys and hows of getting “freshened up,” sparing no personal detail.
  • "Why do you have it done?" — Tamra (41:51)
  • "If you want to just make it new and nice, like turn back the miles, I guess you want to call it." — Teddi (42:03)
  • "When the stitches started to come out...it was the discomfort of it. It was like porcupine needles." — Teddi (42:50)

9. Sugar Daddy Speculation (43:46–45:16)

• Molly’s Procedure Funding: Was it her own money or a “sugar daddy”?
  • "They're saying she had a sugar daddy. She's saying she spent her own hard-earned money." — Tamra (44:48)
  • Teddi admits to paying for her own procedures and being candid about it.

10. Closing Party Moments & Relationship Predictions (46:39–49:54)

• Shep’s Costume: Hit or Miss? Hosts call it “not a turn on.”
• Madison Confronts Craig About Drinking
  • They praise Craig for seeking therapy after recognizing his mean behavior when drunk.
• Vanita’s Relationship with Craig: Tamra wonders about her change of heart, speculating a sit-down may be coming.
• Hooks-Ups & Hot Tubs: Belief that Sally and Craig are “100,000%” sleeping together.
  • "Do you think she's boning him?" — Tamra (49:20)
  • "Oh, 100,000%." — Teddi (49:23)
  • Sally’s strategy of “just keep boning him and maybe he’ll like me more” garners both sympathy and skepticism.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Teddi, on aspiring to be Patricia:
  "If I wanted to be someone in my older years, I want to be Patricia. Witty." (08:39)
• On the state of the love triangle:
  "If he told Sally to go stand in traffic, she would right now." — Teddi (29:54)
• On Shep’s eagle Speedo:
  "I'll never look at an eagle the same." — Teddi (32:53)
  "It was an eagle. The eagle has landed." — Tamra (33:21)
• On passing on gossip:
  "If I tell you something and you ever repeat it, you're dead to me." — Teddi (39:25)
• On transparency post-plastic surgery:
  "You always know, like, after surgery and you're on a lot of medication. You're like, gotta be careful with pictures." — Teddi (45:41)

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Important Timestamps

• Holiday catch-up and philanthropy: 03:25–08:25
• Intro to Southern Charm recap & Patricia: 08:31–11:10
• Patricia’s birth story & generational differences: 16:47–18:39
• Love triangle drama (Sally, Charlie, Craig): 19:18–32:01
• Shep’s memorable entrance: 32:18–33:40
• Craig & Austin argument, lines crossed: 38:49–39:52
• Vaginal rejuvenation & sugar daddy topic: 41:08–45:16
• Party wrap-up, confrontation, and predictions: 46:39–49:54

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Overall Tone & Final Thoughts

Teddi and Tamra (plus Dolores) keep the recap playful, raunchy, and unfiltered—giving listeners the “Housewives knows best” perspective on Southern Charm’s tangled relationships, hilarious party antics, and murky friend loyalty. The episode bounces seamlessly from reality TV hot takes to real-life anecdotes, packing in laughs, empathetic moments, and signature wit.

"That's all we got for you today, guys. I think that was a lot." — Tamra (49:56)

A can’t-miss for fans of Bravo’s Southern Charm or anyone craving unscripted Housewives banter about television, life, and everything TMI in between!

Transcript

[Teddi Mellencamp]

This is an I Heart podcast.

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[Tama]

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[Teddi Mellencamp]

Two t's in a pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tama.

[Tama]

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Teas in a Pod. I'm here with Dolores.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Hi. I'm so into this.

[Tama]

You are. You are. The vagina stuff and everything. You're into it, right?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Not so much that. I mean, like, she's young to have that done. Just saying.

[Jenna Kim Jones]

I know.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Did she feel the need to have that done?

[Tama]

I don't know. We're gonna get into that, though. But we're going to be recapping Southern Charm episode five. Now what are you up to? What's going on?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh. So where were you? Frankie screwed up my schedule today. Frankie. Frankie. It's all Frankie Funicelli's fault. Frankie Funicelli had to be at an added appointment in the city that I could not. I would have lost money if I didn't go. It was a lot of money for this face thing I'm doing. You know what it is? You could be mad at Frankie for two seconds, but once you say her Frankie Funicelli name, like her first name.

[Tama]

Frankie Funicelli.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I just like you and she's so nice. And I trust that girl with my life once in a while.

[Tama]

Yeah, we all screw up once in a while, so it's not that big of a deal. So how's the.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So thank you for your patience.

[Tama]

How's the Christmas shopping going?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Come on, you know better than that. I'll be doing it the day before because that's all you have to function. I'm like, Eddie.

[Tama]

Oh, my God.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And you're like, Paul. We figured that out when we were away together.

[Tama]

I'm done. Done with it, I tell you. But I always keep continuing to shop, even when I'm done.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, because you never know. I bought the nuns some, like, cute. Because what do you buy nuns like? So I bought them some furry blankets.

[Tama]

What do you mean you're the nuns?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

We Have. Yes. We have some nuns that have recently come to town, and I wanted to make them feel at home. I bought them, like, really nice fuzzy blankets. They deserve that, too. So, you know, they're very strict on what they wear, what they buy and everything, so.

[Tama]

So who else do you buy presents for?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, I have the. The women's shelter. I'll get the list. I'm working on that list. So there's like 10 families now. It gets very busy around the holidays. Yeah. So we have the dogs to take care of and then the kids.

[Tama]

Do you sponsor a family ever? Have you ever done that?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I. I don't sponsor a family. No. It's the shelter itself. It's a.

[Tama]

It's a little shelter.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It's kind of forgotten about. Mm. It's in Patterson. And they need help. You know, they always need help. But I actually aired one of the one time I. I did a party there, and it aired, and I have gotten so much help ever since for this cute little place.

[Tama]

We sponsored a family one year. Boy, it's really eye opening, I tell you.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It really is.

[Tama]

Don't know much. I mean, they just told us, like, you know, it's a family. And we had. We went to deliver it, and it was. It was probably a couple hours away where they lived. And it was. One of the kids was sick with cancer.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, no, that's really bad.

[Tama]

And then we got to their house and it was in a RV park. Oh, it was really like. Oh, it was just really. And they were so sweet and so thankful.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Appreciative.

[Tama]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

But, you know, what is it? In the Streetcar Named Desire, she says, I always dependent on the kindness of a stranger.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Mm.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Mm.

[Tama]

Do you feel weird? Like, I can't even go on Instagram right now. Just all this Rob and Michelle Reiner stuff that's all over and all the stuff that's coming out. It's just so heartbreaking.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It is. I've been watching clips of him and his son speaking, and he loved. I feel like he was a very loving father.

[Tama]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And I feel his son was, of course, very troubled. And. And I just. It breaks my heart. You know, as a parent, you don't know what can happen with your children along the way. Right. It may have nothing to do with you. It may be because of you. There could be so many different factors. Environmental, friends, just one bad hit one day.

[Tama]

Well, a lot of people have made comments like, oh, he's a monster, and he's these things. And I'm like, he's Mentally sick. He's ill.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

The son got a huge defense attorney. Yeah, well, he can afford it. He comes from a lot of money.

[Tama]

Yeah, I mean, it's. It's really sad.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

This is going to be a very big case. It's been a week. It's been a really week for things.

[Tama]

Yeah, it's just. It's just so dumb. It just put me in such a.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Like, it's so sad, the fact that the daughter had to find her parents like that. So, you know, you said something the other day. You said that family lost three people.

[Tama]

Yeah, they did.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It's true.

[Tama]

Those kids that are surviving and family and friends, just like. That's three people.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, three people.

[Tama]

His life will never be the same.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

No, no. It's very, very sad. The holidays, as good as they are, there's another side to them.

[Tama]

Yeah, for sure. For sure. So, well, let's get into Southern charm.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, let's get into it.

[Tama]

Let's get into it. So Patricia, she's just such a joy to watch.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Let me tell you, if I wanted to be someone in my older years, I want to be Patricia. Witty.

[Tama]

She is. Would you make your butler ring a gong before he delivers your five o' clock cocktail or your five o' clock smoothie or whatever it is that you have?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

If I have Patricia's money. When I have Patricia's money, I'm going to do whatever I want to do.

[Tama]

Do we know where Patricia's money came from?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I feel like it's old money.

[Tama]

Generational wealth. Something I don't have.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, it's obvious. I mean, we probably wouldn't know to ask the. The butler to gong before he brings. To let us know that our cocktail is coming. Like Pablo's dog. Does she drool when.

[Tama]

But I do. Do you think she always does that or he just does that for tv?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think that she's. I think he always does it. I want to say I think he always does.

[Tama]

Love to. I would love to have her on the podcast. Just.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

She's pretty amazing. She's very witty, she's very smart, she's very funny. And her son is so dry.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

I know.

[Tama]

Okay, so her husband was a billionaire who partnered with Goldman.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Goldman Sachs.

[Tama]

Oh.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So maybe it's not old money, but she's had it for a damn long time.

[Tama]

Yeah. Good for her. Good for her. She knew how to work it. I love her. Her friendship with Madison.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah.

[Tama]

I think that Madison is so cute. And she comes over and she kind of downloads Patricia on everything that's going on because, you know, her husband's not always in town. So I feel like Patricia's like her go to, like, you know, like Paul is to you when you download him and I download Eddie. Same thing, Sophia.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

But let me ask you, isn't Madison's. I thought Madison's husband was a fireman.

[Tama]

He is, but out of state.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, he's like, he fights wildfires and things like that.

[Tama]

Oh, I think they met and he lived out of state, so he travels back and forth. I didn't know it's that tough to transfer as a firefighter.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I never heard that. Okay.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Yeah.

[Tama]

I'm like, well, why doesn't he just transfer over to where they live? But I heard it's. It's not that easy. Or maybe he's waiting to transfer. I don't know.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, well, they have a beautiful life at some house they bought, huh?

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Yeah.

[Tama]

Yeah.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

$4 million.

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[Tama]

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[Tama]

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[Tama]

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[Tama]

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[Tama]

We got a little insight on Patricia talking about her delivery of her son. And she said it was a one and done after a couple days of labor and no epidural.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Ah, no.

[Tama]

Yes, I did it.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I went through it. You didn't have an epidural.

[Tama]

They didn't do that back then. When I had Ryan, you got to realize, right?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

How old is Ryan?

[Tama]

He's gonna be 40 this month.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Stop.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I didn't realize he was 40.

[Jenna Kim Jones]

Yeah.

[Tama]

So I was in labor for 24 hours. And now, mind you, I went in there at 18 years old and I weighed 123 pounds, delivering nine months pregnant. I was a tiny little thing and I just had a hell of a time, but I broke blood. They would have gave you.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

They would have gave you a C section. Now they wouldn't have.

[Tama]

I was halfway. I was being wheeled up to go to have a C section and they were. They. They were flying somebody in to do the C section.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

They did it in the first place, by the way, because you were tiny. First pregnancy, and he was eight pounds. Oh, come on. See? Thank God they have perinatologists these days on hand. She.

[Tama]

She also said she didn't breastfeed. She tried for like 20 seconds or something like that. And she's like, nope, this ain't happening.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I never tried. I give everyone the utmost credit and respect. That does. But I am also.

[Tama]

Oh, my God. I breastfed each kid for a year.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yes. No, never did that. Didn't try it. Didn't even think of it as being an option. I didn't have a lot of experience with someone telling me what to do when you got pregnant or during the pregnancy.

[Tama]

How old were you when you had your first child?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

24. No, 25.

[Tama]

You're relatively young.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, relatively young. Coming from a place where those things were very private and never talked about.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So that wasn't something like. Honestly, like when my. To not to be, you know, weird, but my shirt was wet one day and I didn't know why. That's how little I knew. First time I was ever at a gynecologist was when I was pregnant.

[Tama]

Wow. Well, she goes, Madison's there with Patricia and she's kind of downloading her on the whole, you know, Craig behavioral situation and how he's in this little bit of a love triangle with Charlie and Sally. But as time goes on, I don't see him that interested in Sally. He looks like he's got the hots for Charlie.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I see a very near ending to this friendship. Yeah.

[Tama]

And then so she's telling her about Heather in the hot tub and you know, for hours. And Patricia's like, what happened to having sex all night?

[Jenna Kim Jones]

I don't.

[Tama]

I know all night. What happened to having sex in a bed?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, they didn't say. She said it's cleaner, didn't she? Yeah, it's like she's like, what's wrong with that? And I'm like, she's right. Yeah, she's right. But it's now disagree why he's not bringing her in the house. He's afraid she won't leave probably. She looks a little bit like a. She's gonna be mad, but like a clinger. Stage 5.

[Tama]

Say it isn't so tell me how. Tell me how you really feel about Sally.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think Sally is right now she's not being a good friend to Vanita. I mean, she has the right to want to be with somebody or. All right, but Vanita is just trying to say you are getting yourself into hot water here. You're getting. He's not ready for you. Not going to be. This isn't going to be a great ending. And she's just does not care. There's more men in this, in the south than one guy.

[Tama]

Well, I don't know. I think she said there's not that many guys over there and they're small little town.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Go to fucking next town. I'm just saying in your car and.

[Tama]

Drive down the street.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I don't believe that there is only one like a handful of single guys and they're not as good looking as Craig. I mean, Craig looks good right now, but he's a wounded bird. Girls.

[Tama]

But she Also, and you got to.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Be careful for those ones.

[Tama]

She also said she liked Austin.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Another one. Stop fishing in the same pond. And he's got a girlfriend.

[Tama]

Has Sally been with Shep?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

No. But why is not she going for.

[Tama]

Yes, yes, yes. I thought she has. Sally has been with Shep, and now she's got the hots for Craig. And she said when Austin was dying.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

She'S going to need a new pussy.

[Tama]

Need her pussy fix pretty soon, right?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, my God. Nice.

[Tama]

Oh, let's get into the. The whole of it all. It starts out at Craig's party.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So Dr. Joseph Michaels from Maryland, you could go there and get.

[Tama]

So Craig's getting ready to throw this Memorial Day party. He's making pina coladas. But you know the kind with the frozen machine and all that stuff? He rented one of those or maybe even purchased it because that's what Charlie likes. It's Charlie's favorite, a frozen pina colada.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, Charlie's good to get the frozen pina colada. The penis coladas.

[Tama]

Coladas.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So Charlie's good enough for the penis coladas, but Sally's good enough for the all night hot tub stack.

[Tama]

Come up boiling in hot water.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Let's go on what's going on.

[Tama]

But Craig says he is worried that Austin won't come to his party because of their fight. Big chance of that happening because. But he's at his girlfriend's house, so it's happening.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, he's got to make up. He's got to go kiss some ass because he wasn't playing nice on the beach.

[Tama]

No, he wasn't playing nice at all. And then over at vanita's house, she's FaceTiming with Austin. He went to Charlotte to be with Audrey and to bring over his new little pussies.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, he left the one behind. No, no, she's a nice girl, Audrey.

[Tama]

Yeah, well, it didn't last long because now he's. He's moved on.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I know. Well, why would you think it would last long? I don't think she was being treated very nice.

[Tama]

He's probably going to end up with Sally.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Let me tell you, I almost shit my pants when Madison said, I think she likes Austin because she said. What did she say? She goes, oh, are they. Craig and Sally a couple? And then Madison goes, I think she likes Austin.

[Tama]

I would have been like, she does too.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Now we're getting up and we're leaving. Sal, you're a. Okay, Like, I would be like, I'm at this party and this is going on behind my back. Now, don't make a fool out of me. I mean, you could cheat Manji. Like, it's not okay, but. Yeah, but don't make a fool out of me in front of your friends. He wasn't talking nice about her. He's like, yeah, so I'm not going to get married. And, yeah, I love that. I only see her once a week or once every other week. Like, he just wasn't being nice to her.

[Tama]

He wasn't being nice. And I couldn't imagine her watching back, you know, watching the show and seeing that, being like, what a jerk. Like, this guy really does it nice.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

You know, that wasn't nice. I don't like that. And guess what happens now? Karma.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Yeah.

[Tama]

Well, Austin called Shep yesterday to hash things out, and Shep did apologize, which was nice. Vanita feels like Shep is being a real friend, but Craig isn't. Well, Vanita just doesn't like Craig. Like, she hasn't even. We see her try to move forward a little bit with him, which was very.

[Jenna Kim Jones]

The history.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Is it one specific thing?

[Tama]

Watch what happens live. Something happened on Watch out.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I've seen they've had a few.

[Tama]

Yeah, she took a page aside and he didn't like it. And it really wasn't anything that deep as far as I'm concerned.

[Jenna Kim Jones]

But what do.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I did happen to notice that Sierra has joined the chat. She's going for Craig now, too.

[Jenna Kim Jones]

She is?

[Tama]

Oh. What did she say? What's her problem with Craig?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, Sierra and Paige are like sisters.

[Jenna Kim Jones]

Right?

[Tama]

Right. So she's just sticking up for her or she, like.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

She's just, like. She's just going in and then she's saying, you know, things about vanilla. Like, she's, like, sticking up for Vanita, too.

[Tama]

Oh, okay. So Molly calls her mom, but her dad answered instead.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Mom's at therapy.

[Tama]

Mom's. Yes. So Molly's recording a song, and she's singing it this time, not playing the tuba. She's actually singing. I caught a. On social media. There was, like, a longer clip of her singing. She has a really good voice. I mean, I don't know if she's any Taylor Swift, but she's got a great voice.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, her parents are those type of parents that go, you're the best at everything. You're the greatest. Not like our parents. Like your mom says, like, you look like you smashed your face on your motorcycle. Yes, like my parents. Don't never talk like that to me.

[Tama]

No, no.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

She's an only child, I think, too. Not that it means no. But I noticed in the family picture, it's just those two and her, and they seem like older parents. Like, they probably had more patience for.

[Tama]

Her and her parents at the same age as my parents.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Her parents, right. Yeah, yeah.

[Tama]

They look like they were old. They had her later in life for sure.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So I'm saying she's a later in life baby. Were. I think you have more patience later in life as a parent. Like, as a young parent, you're trying to do so many different things and juggle life and bills and houses and what's next and social and all this stuff. I think older parents just like grandparents, they just enjoy it more.

[Tama]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I could be wrong.

[Tama]

No, you're right. There's a huge difference. There's 20 years between Sophia and Ryan.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, Molly was adopted.

[Tama]

Oh, she was adopted. I didn't know that.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Okay, okay. Sense to me.

[Jenna Kim Jones]

Yeah.

[Tama]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

They seem like lovely parents.

[Tama]

Yeah, for sure. And they're very supportive of her. So then Charlie goes to Sally's house and they're going to bake a cake. Isn't that cute? It's like they find things to do. Producers are like, can you go to. Can you go to Sally's house? And then can you guys just, like, bake a cake?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Can you. Grandmother's house?

[Tama]

Can you clean your closet? Can you wash your car?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Can you unwrap baby gifts?

[Tama]

Can you do something other than just sit there in your house?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah. Well, that's nice. I think the editing, I have to say, editing is very good in Southern charm. I like it. And I think their houses are so adorable.

[Tama]

They're so cute.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

You're my favorite house in the world. But I love it.

[Tama]

Oh, I love it.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So cute and pink and rose gold and all these things in your house. I want you to decorate my house.

[Tama]

Okay, I will. I'll come.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

But not Paul. Paul would never allow that.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

What are you.

[Tama]

Are you moving? Are you staying in that house?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I want to move.

[Tama]

Yeah. You told me you wanted to find.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Can't find a house right now.

[Tama]

Oh, really? Is the market that hard right now to find house?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Very, very hard. And did you happen to notice Hilaria Baldwin moving to Jersey? Yeah, I actually DM'd her. I was like. I raised my kids in Franklin Lakes. Loved it. You might like it.

[Tama]

I wonder why they're moving to Jersey.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I. I don't know.

[Tama]

Where do they live now? In the city.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah.

[Tama]

And they have a place in the Hamptons, too. Right.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

How many kids do they have all together?

[Jenna Kim Jones]

Seven.

[Tama]

Seven. They have together. And then he's got other kids. Like, it's crazy.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

That's a lot.

[Tama]

That is too much for me. Too much for me. And another thing, I don't. Do you want chickens?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, let's talk about that for a second. So I think Craig is just playing whoever's in front of him at the time. Like he's talking to Sally about chickens and they're gonna go look for chickens. Yet he's making a penis colada drink for Charlie.

[Tama]

You know, it's like, you can't just put around here. You can't just put chickens in your backyard.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think there maybe, maybe there.

[Tama]

But here I'm like, if I put chickens in my backyard, the HOA would be over here so quick.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think over there. I mean, I wouldn't even attempt it.

[Tama]

I think it would be cool for like one week. And then you'll be like, oh, my God, I gotta clean the pen. I gotta do, you know. You know Julius, right? And does the hair. Everyone's hair in New York.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, of course I know Julie.

[Tama]

He's got like 15 chickens in his 2 acre really ranch. He has. And they're like the super cute ones with the big giant like feathers that go up. Mohawks and they're white and they're like designer chickens and they're so cute.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I love that for them, but it's not for me. It's enough.

[Tama]

I gotta chinchilla dogs and cats are.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Two cats, five dogs. It's a lot.

[Tama]

Well, it looks like he talked Sally into getting chickens and they're gonna go pick out chickens together.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

If he told Sally to go stand in traffic, she would right now. Because she's hot for that day.

[Tama]

I mean, I know, right? If I was Charlie, I'd be so happy that Craig, she's willing to get.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Up with friends for him, not one. She's willing to give up two girlfriends for him. That's a lot.

[Tama]

This is weird. And you actually hear in confessional, I think it was, where Charlie is saying she is attracted to Craig, but she's not saying that to Sally.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I saw that on the couch. But then in her. But in her confessional, she's. She's already doing the build up to justify that she's gonna screw her friend over because she put dibs on him first. Sally put dibs on him first. She's saying. Yeah, so I just don't think about myself enough. But I'm gonna real soon.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

When I steal Craig from.

[Tama]

This is getting dirty.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It's gonna get ugly. I know that'll be the.

[Tama]

And I'm gonna be here for it.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I fight over one for it.

[Tama]

That's for sure.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Ain't no way there's enough to go around girls. And you are both really pretty with good bodies.

[Tama]

You can really great bodies.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Find a lot of you don't have to fight over one guy. And you guys are like sisters. Your new friendship and it's going so deep that you guys just.

[Tama]

They're gonna each other soon.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

You're going to fight over Craig.

[Tama]

Craig. Craig of all people.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

He looks good. His hair is really nice. He looked amazing at BravoCon. He was very.

[Tama]

He's a good looking happy.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And he is dating somebody now. He said it.

[Tama]

He is.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

He said it to me.

[Tama]

Do we know who?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'd like to know.

[Tama]

Well over at the Craig's Memorial Day party, Shep is the first to arrive.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And it's a nice little house for himself over.

[Tama]

It's very nice backyard.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

See what I mean? The houses are nice. They're all Their houses are very clean.

[Tama]

He has a really nice backyard. I would like to put that backyard in this house. But I don't think we're going to stay. But he that pools. I think the whole backyard's new because I think last season he was building the pool. But then he's got like a garden and he's got.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

He's getting his money's worth out of that pool. Hot tub.

[Tama]

Right. And the bees. But why would. Why they have the noodles stuffed in the. The waterfalls in the pool.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Like it's like Madison said. It's. It's. He did it. He's a man. But he has. But his sister, his assistant is gay, right?

[Tama]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And he needs to step it up over there.

[Tama]

I know.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

You know, you could put the gay touch on it. It's going to be just as good if not better than a woman's touch.

[Tama]

I agree with that. 100. So the he shep is the first one to show up. He's got a little bag with his Speedo in it which I can't even erase that.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'll never look at an eagle the same. I actually have an eagle's nest in the backyard. I'm very into eagles. I think they're the most majestic, beautiful birds in the world. And now and then to top it off, he had to stuff it.

[Tama]

Oh my God.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Tissue paper. That's not saying much because it was like. That was like an anaconda in there.

[Tama]

No, there was no anaconda.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It looked like a beak. It at best stuffed.

[Tama]

It was an eagle. The eagle has landed.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It was a bald eagle.

[Tama]

There's a bald eagle.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

All right. It was tiny.

[Tama]

Is tiny.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think I'm gonna buy Paul one of those.

[Tama]

Oh, can you please post a picture of him in it?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

He'll never do it.

[Tama]

Could you imagine?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I don't know if I get him drunk enough.

[Tama]

Just don't tell him you're taking a picture. Hey babe, put this on.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

My God, he is so strict with what goes on social media.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

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[Tama]

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[Tama]

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[Tama]

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[Tama]

So Craig's pissed off. He thinks his actions were justified at the previous party at Whitner's party.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I guess if he thinks that that was justified, you want the truth In New Jersey that would be justified because he was getting his balls busted. He wasn't bothering anybody. He was just standing there and they're Then you Know Austin started saying stuff about the hot tub. Yeah.

[Tama]

Out of nowhere, Craig had to come in. He had to come in for the kill and say, listen, I know information that can destroy your life or that's too low.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And you know why? That puts Shep on the spot. I would be mad about that. See, if I tell you something and you ever repeat it, you're dead to me.

[Tama]

Yeah, I like what he did.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I did not like that. Zero tolerance, Craig. You lost me there. I don't care that you're gonna break up the two friends. Three friends. Finita, Sally, whatever. They're all gonna hate each other by the end of the season. I don't even. That's on them.

[Tama]

Everything.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I even almost liked you. I was still on your side even when he was. When you were getting mad. But when you threw something Shep said to you in. In his face. And that was wrong. In Austin's face. That was wrong. Sorry. Done. I will never tell you anything again.

[Tama]

Yeah, well, Vanita. Nobody should tell Vanita anything as well.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Because up to Vanita. That's not nice.

[Tama]

Yeah, this is very up. Because it's like, first of all, you shouldn't be talk spreading information about somebody's pink parts.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, it's just so hard not to say. But let me ask you something. Did Molly tell Vanita? Who told Vanita?

[Tama]

So Molly heard that Sally was talking shit about her vagina.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

That I know.

[Tama]

Okay, so Vanita admits she's the one who told her about the nip tuck.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So.

[Tama]

Right.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

But who told Vanita?

[Tama]

Molly told Vanita about it. And then Vanita went and told Sally about it, and then Sally brought it up.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So not nice. You're telling. Okay, Vanita, so you're gonna tell Sally something. Who's stabbing you in the back with Craig.

[Tama]

But what? Why is it Sally's fault? Finita is the one that had the big mouth. She should have never said anything. I think it's Benita's fault, not Sally's.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

A hundred percent. 100%. Vanita is the one that repeated it. Sorry. That's wrong.

[Tama]

I know. Then Molly and Sally get into it after, you know, they're going at it with each other. And then Molly tells her. You've always been shitty. You're a.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

That's because Molly doesn't like her. That's why she was harder on her than she was to Bonita.

[Tama]

So she's kind of young to be having vaginal rejuvenation.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

I know.

[Tama]

So I. I've never had anything like that done.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Molly looks Like Jennifer Lawrence. A little bit.

[Tama]

Molly looks like a little bit.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, a little, little bit. So, yeah, no, so I've had that done and.

[Tama]

But why do you have it done?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, it's just like anything. It was. Honestly, I did not have a very bad case of anything. Like, she had a. It's. She goes, I had my labia removed. If you want to just make it new and nice, like turn back the miles, I guess you want to call it.

[Tama]

Does that mean it hangs out?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

What do you mean? No, Yeah, I mean, some people do. Some people have that. That wasn't really an issue for me. I just wanted to like a freshen up. I was getting some other work done. So I said to him, I heard you, you know, you're good at this. And he's like, yeah, I do them all day. I said, well, while you're at it.

[Tama]

I'm gonna have to take a better look at mine with the mirror.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. But yeah, she is young.

[Tama]

I can imagine. You're like cutting stuff off down there.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It's like new. Why not?

[Tama]

Doesn't it, like affect like sensitivity or anything like that? And how's the recovery of something like that?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, when the stitches started to like, come out, they were plastic and it felt like somebody took a round bristle brush. That was the worst. It wasn't the pain of it. It. It was the discomfort of it.

[Tama]

Oh my.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It was like porcupine needles.

[Tama]

And how long do you have to wait before you can use that vagina?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think it's like three weeks or something. What do you care? Are you using it every single day?

[Tama]

No, I don't. I don't.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So, like, it's like a big deal. Like, how long do I do?

[Tama]

I'm just wondering.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I don't think I could do a day now. You sound like Larsa Pippin.

[Tama]

No, I can wait a few months. I'm fine.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And you're good. You're good if you want to do it. It. Don't worry.

[Tama]

So Molly was pissed off and she's yelling and she's.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Let's not forget what actually. Okay. So Molly took her savings from 2019.

[Tama]

Amazing.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'm glad you put it to good use.

[Tama]

But they were saying sugar daddy was pain.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Where's the shirt? I'm always up for a good sugar daddy story. I actually look at the memes. Sugar daddies. You know, the guy with the big stomach with a really hot, like, she looks like Russian or Polish model in The. In the. In the ocean. And it's like there's like a saying, like, do your homework or something. I don't even know, but I have.

[Tama]

No idea what you're talking about right now.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'm talking about sugar daddies. I'm into the whole sugar daddy memes and stories. I love that.

[Tama]

Oh, you are?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah. Like, they have them on Instagram. Like, they'll have, like, not a meme, but, like a. Like a post that'll say something about a really beautiful woman being with, like, some old man with a big belly and a. Like, Speedo on.

[Tama]

And I just like. Bronwyn.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, yeah. Molly, can you just let us in on the sugar daddy?

[Tama]

Not enough money in the world. Couldn't do it.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I want to know.

[Tama]

So they're saying she had a sugar daddy. She's saying she spent her own hard earned money to get it done. Nowadays, she can get it done for free because any doctor will get do it for her because she's on tv.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, now it's over. Now she's got to pay for your.

[Tama]

Did you have to pay for your nip Tuck? Did you have a sugar daddy?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I paid. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I pay at the time. I paid.

[Tama]

Before you were on TV or after?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

No. But I wasn't sure if I was going to talk about it or not. So I paid for it.

[Tama]

Right.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And then I was on a bunch of painkillers for something else that I had done at the same time I was on, like, watch what happens Live, like, during COVID with Andy, and I just, like, blurted it out.

[Tama]

Oh, my goodness. Well, okay.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

But you know what? I should be transparent.

[Tama]

Well, then show us a picture.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, don't get crazy.

[Tama]

Before and after picture.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Don't get crazy now. You always know, like, after surgery and you're on a lot of medication. You're like, got to be careful pictures.

[Tama]

Sometimes I just want to get surgery so I can be looped out that, like, for next couple days.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And then you get excited when you find, like, a. Like a painkiller in the bottom of your bag, like a year later in your purse or something.

[Tama]

Yes, yes.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Hot dog.

[Tama]

So Shep comes out wearing a bald eagle, Speedo, gun holsters, and a George Washington wig.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, it's Memorial Day, but this is.

[Tama]

Not a turn on at all. I'm sorry, Shep. Not a turn on.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah.

[Tama]

No, no. And I can't unsee that. And I feel like there's going to be memes about it, and I feel like it's gonna be all over social media.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, let's see.

[Tama]

And it's hard to look at. Sorry. The beak didn't look that big to me.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

No.

[Tama]

So then Madison confronts Craig about his drinking. And I think somebody needs anger towards Austin the other night. I mean, he gets drunk and he gets loud and mean and nasty.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So I remember Vanita said, I. I know what it's like when he gets nasty because he has gotten nasty with her. And they did flashbacks. They did show when he gets overly nasty.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And he knows Sally's good for him.

[Tama]

Well, he knows it because he has reached out to his therapist because he didn't like his own behavior. So it's a good thing that he acknowledges it. Like you said, he's kind of wounded. He's not overpaid yet. He probably is now, but back then it was too, too soon after they had split up.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It was four months.

[Tama]

Yeah. Yeah. So he was still wounded. A wounded little eagle.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And then here comes Sally the hawk swirling around.

[Tama]

And then Charlie.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And then Charlie. Women can be not good sometimes. So myself included.

[Tama]

Yeah. Yeah. So Vanita leaves and gives Craig a kiss on the cheek. It's like, what are you doing? You keep talking. She brings some presents, then she brings them.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Like.

[Tama]

Is that like a mind game?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think it's a perfect. No, it's a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. She was invited not to be left out of the group. She.

[Tama]

She's been so vocal about not wanting to be around him, and now she's bringing him presents and kissing him on the face, which she looks two faced.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think that. See, I'm going to take it differently. I'm going to take a different stance on Vanita here. Good friend group. Okay. He went as far as to invite her not to have her left out. She did the right thing by coming. This is called cohabitating. Kissing him goodbye is the right thing to do when you leave someone's house that they did not get in a fight there.

[Tama]

Yeah, but what, what made her totally change? Because so far this whole season I'm like, please just move on Vanita. Or have a conversation with him because you're built up anger towards him and trying to ignore him but talk about him to other people is getting annoying. So now she's. She's kind of changed her approach and. And she's bringing them presents and kissing them. And so maybe next week we'll see them doing a little sit down.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think they need to sit down.

[Tama]

Or she can end up like Sally in.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

In the hot.

[Tama]

In the hot tub. Because that's how they ended the party. Sally ends the night in Craig's hot tub. Once again. Do you think she's boning them?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, 100,000%.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

But she's okay.

[Tama]

But if she's doing that, she can see he's more into Charlie.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, maybe she thinks if she keeps boning him, then he'll be more into her. You know, there's that old saying, these girls. Think I could change your mind.

[Tama]

We need to get podcast so we can talk to you about it. Well, see if she bummed him.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Is she going to tell the truth? Yeah, by now she'll tell the truth.

[Tama]

Maybe. We don't know.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, I don't know.

[Tama]

Well, that's all we got for you today, guys. I think that was a lot. Well, until next week, Dolores.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Until next.

[Tama]

I'll be talking to you tomorrow, I believe.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I want to hear when I see you next week that you've looked into getting a new vagina. There you go. You need a Christmas present for Addie. You can fit it in a stocking.

[Tama]

Well, then he needs to get a new wiener.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Enjoy. I'm gonna go do some Christmas shopping now.

[Tama]

I am too. I've got to go pick up some gifts I ordered at Nordstrom, so. All right, guys. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Two Teas and a Pod.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Ciao.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

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[Tama]

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[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

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[Bowen Yang]

Is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang and I'm Matt Rogers from the very same podcast. And guess what? It's the holiday season and you know what that means. Holiday parties. VO holiday parties. They're the best. But there's always the stress of what to wear, what to bring. Easy solution. Okay, bring a bottle of Casamigos Casamigos. Wow, that is the move you can make. Casamigos Mules or Casamigos Espresso Martinis or Casamigos Crab. And don't forget about Casamigos Margaritas. A Casamigos Margarita is the perfect cocktail all year round. Casamigos is just. Just the perfect gift that keeps on giving. And as the saying goes, anything goes with my Casamigos. On second thought, a holiday party might be in order. That's a great idea. Please drink responsibly. Imported by Casamigos Spirits Company, White Plains, New York. Casamigos Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Podcast Advertiser / Host Voice]

Guaranteed human.