Two Jersey Js: Real friends or Reality Fakes?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge Episode: Two Jersey Js: Real Friends or Reality Fakes? Release Date: April 28, 2025

In this engaging episode of "Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge", hosts Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge delve deep into the complexities of authentic friendships, especially in the context of reality television. Titled "Two Jersey Js: Real Friends or Reality Fakes?", the episode offers listeners a thoughtful exploration of what genuine relationships look like amidst the often dramatized portrayals on TV shows like "White Lotus" and "Vanderpump Villa."

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Personal Updates and Recent Experiences

[02:34 - 06:34]

Teddi and Tamra begin the episode by sharing personal updates about their recent experiences, setting a relatable tone for the discussion ahead.

• Passover Celebrations:

  • Teddi: "We spent Passover at a beach house near Philly. Furnishing it for summer was quite a feat, but it was really nice."
  • Tamra: "Barcelona and Madrid were fantastic! The food was incredible, and I’m still dreaming about Rome from last year."

• Travel Challenges:

  • Teddi: "Wearing an eye mask on a plane led to a late-night scuffle with a monster fly. Jet lag is no joke!"
  • Tamra: "My back started hurting during tours. It was like an old lady's back!"

• Upcoming Events:

  • Teddi: "I’m heading to a country music festival in Napa with iHeart. It’s going to be so much fun!"
  • Tamra: "Country music is merging with pop, and while I love it, I’m not a huge country fan myself."

---

Authenticity in Friendships and Reality TV

[07:54 - 35:00]

The core of the episode revolves around the theme of authenticity in friendships, both in real life and as portrayed on reality TV shows.

• Defining Authenticity:

  • Tamra: "Authenticity is such a buzzword now. I know when I’m being real versus when I’m not."
  • Teddi: "Being a people pleaser made it hard to stay authentic. Therapy has helped me become more genuine."

• Personal Stories:

  • Teddi shares: "I once told a friend I didn’t want to join a group outing without lying. It felt so authentic to just say no."
  • Tamra adds: "As I get older, I value saying no more. It’s freeing and helps me focus on what truly makes me happy."

• Impact of Therapy:

  • Both hosts emphasize the importance of therapy in fostering authentic relationships and personal well-being.
  • Teddi: "Therapy has been a cornerstone in handling past issues and preparing for life’s challenges."
  • Tamra: "It’s allowed me to conquer fears around food and find coping mechanisms for anxiety."

---

Analyzing "White Lotus" and Authentic Friendships

[27:05 - 46:36]

Teddi and Tamra transition into a critical analysis of a significant speech from Carrie Coon's character in "White Lotus," using it as a springboard to discuss the authenticity of friendships portrayed on reality TV.

• Carrie Coon's Speech:

  • Tamra reads: "I don't need religion or God to give my life meaning because time gives it meaning. We started this life together..."
  • Teddi comments: "That speech was powerful. It reminded me of my high school friendships and how authentic they felt."

• Reality TV vs. Real Life:

  • Tamra: "On shows like 'White Lotus,' friendships often lack depth because they're built on shared experiences that disappear once the show's over."
  • Teddi: "The constant badmouthing and confrontation don’t reflect genuine friendships. It’s scripted drama, not real connection."

• Authenticity Challenges:

  • Tamra: "Reality TV participants can't stay fully authentic because they have to entertain the audience."
  • Teddi: "Back in the early days of shows like 'The Housewives,' there was less awareness, so people were more genuine. Now, self-awareness sometimes hinders true authenticity."

---

The Modern Woman's Dilemma and Happiness Paradox

[35:00 - 54:29]

The discussion shifts to a broader societal issue: why women, despite achieving more than ever before, report higher levels of unhappiness and mental health struggles.

• Female Happiness Paradox:

  • Tamra references: "Women in the US earn an average of 85% of what men earn and have more college degrees, yet they report higher levels of anxiety and depression."
  • Teddi:* "Social media is a major factor. The constant comparison to others' curated lives steals our joy."

• Impact of Technology:

  • Teddi: "We have unprecedented access to each other's lives globally. It’s easy to compare ourselves and always feel inadequate."
  • Tamra: "Social media makes achievements seem anticlimactic. Even when I publish something, I immediately compare it to others’ successes, diminishing my own satisfaction."

• Coping Mechanisms:

  • Tamra: "Focusing on inner work is crucial. We need to stop seeking external validation and find peace within ourselves."
  • Teddi: "Living authentically means embracing our imperfections and not letting the fear of judgment dictate our happiness."

---

The Depth of Friendships vs. Family Bonds

[54:29 - 55:20]

Teddi and Tamra explore the depths of friendships compared to familial bonds, questioning whether friendships can offer the same level of trust and support.

• Friendships' Limits:

  • Tamra: "Friendships are amazing, but they can't replace the unconditional support of family."
  • Teddi: "I have close friendships, but when it comes to absolute trust, it's my family that I rely on."

• Unique Bonds:

  • Teddi shares: "My sister’s best friend is like family to us. Their bond is inseparable."
  • Tamra adds: "True friendships are valuable, but they exist alongside, not in place of, family relationships."

---

Authenticity Beyond Reality TV

[55:00 - 59:39]

In the concluding segments, the hosts discuss maintaining authenticity outside the realm of reality TV and the importance of genuine self-expression.

• Living Authentically:

  • Tamra: "Living authentically means knowing who you are and not depending on external validation."
  • Teddi: "It's about doing your best and loving who you love without the pressure to be perfect."

• Final Reflections:

  • Tamra: "Friendships and family both play unique roles in our lives. Balancing authenticity in both is key to personal happiness."
  • Teddi: "Even though reality TV complicates our friendships, our authentic selves will always seek genuine connections."

---

Key Takeaways and Notable Quotes

• On Authenticity:

  • Teddi at [09:03]: "I know what it means when I'm not authentic and when I am being authentic."
  • Tamra at [11:30]: "Being able to say no has opened my life up a lot."

• On Friendships:

  • Teddi at [17:00]: "I enjoy making new friends, but only if I really feel that connection."
  • Tamra at [19:23]: "Friendships can be beautiful, but they don't replace the depth of family bonds."

• On Happiness:

  • Tamra at [47:53]: "Women are doing so great, yet they're still unhappy. It's the female happiness paradox."
  • Teddi at [53:29]: "Living authentically means embracing our imperfections."

---

Conclusion

Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge deliver a poignant discussion on the nature of authentic friendships, the pressures of maintaining genuine relationships in the age of reality television, and the societal challenges women face in finding true happiness. By intertwining personal anecdotes with critical analysis of popular media, they offer listeners valuable insights into fostering real connections and prioritizing inner well-being over external validations.

Whether you're navigating friendships in real life or pondering the authenticity of relationships depicted on TV, this episode provides thoughtful perspectives and heartfelt advice on living a more genuine and fulfilling life.

Transcript

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[Jen Fessler]

Hey everyone, it's Jackie Goldschneider and Jen Fessler and we are two Jersey Jays.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Hi, guys. I feel like it's been a while, right?

[Jen Fessler]

I know. I feel like we were recording so much and then we had a nice long break. How was Passover?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Oh, thank you for asking. Passover was great. We spent it because you know this. We got a house at the beach down at the shore, but a little further than what we know from like, let's say the show about the shore, so closer to Philly. So we got this house and it's been quite a feat to furnish it and get it ready for the summer. But the four of us went and had Passover there and it was actually really nice.

[Jen Fessler]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

What about yours?

[Jen Fessler]

Right? We were away. We were away for most of it.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I want to hear about you.

[Jen Fessler]

I know your trip, it was amazing. I mean, Barcelona and Madrid are both beautiful. I had never been. And the food was fantastic and I ate so much. I was so proud of myself because it's sometimes hard for me, but it was really great. But as much as I loved it last year we went to Rome and I just felt like nothing can come close to Rome.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Italy is always going to be my number one.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. But we came home enough time to give. The kids went back to school today and we came home with enough time to let them like unjet lag. But the other like two nights ago, I. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I wear an eye mask, right? So I like pulled it up a little bit and I'm walking to the bathroom and you know those monster flies, like those big black ones that bounce like crazy on the walls? There was one in my room and it buzzed in my ear and I turned my head as I was walking to.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

You're gonna freak me out.

[Jen Fessler]

You're gonna freak me out.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Is this gonna be like a horror film?

[Jen Fessler]

And I slammed my face into the box that holds. That has our like alarm keypad. And then I got. So I discombobulated that. I fell backwards into my laundry basket. It was like the. Worse than. I was still jet lagged.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Jackie, I thought you were gonna say that the fly went into your ear canal. And I was. Oh, no, no, I was not I was gonna have to check out. Absolutely.

[Jen Fessler]

Big fat lip. And, like.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Oh, I didn't notice. Let me see. Well, the mic's in front of it.

[Jen Fessler]

I mean, it's getting better. Yeah. But anyway, so other than that, though, the trip was great, and I'm glad to be home. I'm not one of those people who likes to travel for, like, two weeks at a time. I like to get home after, like, five days. I'm like, this is great. But, like, I'm ready for my bed.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

And I get depressed.

[Jen Fessler]

Well, my laundry machine, really.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I don't like to go. I don't know. I get a little depressed every time vacation ends.

[Jen Fessler]

Oh, no, not me. I like coming home.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I like coming home. But I definitely. And I've. There are times where I've like, okay, we've had enough. Like, no Vietnam. I was depressed. But, like, anytime.

[Jen Fessler]

Sounded like such a spectacular trip.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

It was. It really was. I don't know. But yeah. And then you said you had. Well, because I told you my back went out yesterday, so. Oh, yeah.

[Jen Fessler]

I had a. I don't know. I never have back problems. Like, three weeks ago, my back started hurting, and then it was so bad. I was like an old lady. We were going on these tours, and I kept stopping and, like, stretching.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

My back has the worst feeling.

[Jen Fessler]

I know. How's your back?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

It's okay. It's okay. I have to get on the plane tomorrow, so I'm telling myself it's okay.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. You're going to a concert.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I'm going.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

But. Yes. So exciting. I wish that you were coming. It is going to be a lot of fun, I think. Country music festival in Napa with I Heart.

[Jen Fessler]

That's fine. You love country music. You're a Texas girl I know nothing about. Well, now I feel like country is coming into the pop world.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah.

[Jen Fessler]

So I know, like, Morgan Wallen. I know, like, the people who have gone, like pop, but. And I love it, but I know nothing really about country music.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I'm not that. I used to be a bigger country music fan, but then my family started to love it, Specifically Jeff. And he. When he loves something, it's all of that all the time. It's every.

[Jen Fessler]

Oh, really?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Until I get burnt out, and I'm like, oh, that's funny.

[Jen Fessler]

When I was a kid growing up in Staten island, my dad. I guess it was sort of his midlife crisis, became a cowboy, and so we were like, just this Jewish family living in, say what? It lasted a few years. That was it. And everyone called him Buffalo Barry. And we were just this Jewish family living in the middle of Staten island. And my dad wore, like, full cowboy gear. That is hilarious. For a while.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

For a few years, my dad did that becoming a biker.

[Jen Fessler]

Oh, really?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Did it last? No.

[Jen Fessler]

But anyway, all he would play was country music and, like, his long Cadillac that smelled like smoke. And it was just country music all the time. Until it wasn't.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

But no wonder.

[Jen Fessler]

You my only exposure to country music. So you'll have a blast. And then I'm hot on your heels, going to Wango Tango.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I was just telling Jacqueline just now. I was like, I'm a little jealous. There gonna be some big stars there. I can. No, no, no, no. It's Mother's Day, you said. Right.

[Jen Fessler]

I know.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I got it.

[Jen Fessler]

That's okay. I'm gonna go with Alexis House is.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

You're gonna have such a good time. I love that.

[Jen Fessler]

Anyway, I am really, really excited for this topic today because you don't have to be a White Lotus fan to really engage in this, but the topic is authenticity. Like, being authenticity and like your friendships, your relationships with the show, with everything. But we also are going to dive in a little bit to the speech that Carrie Coon gave during the White Lotus season finale that really. It really talks about her view on the relationships with the other two women she was with and what. How she saw herself and what the friendships meant to her. And I think it's to take that line by line and really dissect that and see how it translates to our own lives.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

So authenticity, I feel like it's such a buzzword. Right? Are you being authentic? She's not authentic. He's authentic. She's not authentic. It's like. It's one of those words that now is starting to annoy me a little bit. But, you know, I guess, like gaslighting. A little. Like gaslighting. Like, I'm just tired.

[Jen Fessler]

What are people saying it is now? Wait, there's another word. Weaponizing. People are saying that's.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Oh, my God, there's so much weaponizing. Yeah, yeah, all of those. So. But listen, I know what it means. I know what it means when I'm not authentic and when I am being authentic. And we're talking right now about how it changes as we get older. So authenticity as we get older. Well, I mean, I was a people pleaser my whole life. I think it has to do with probably my relationship with my father, and just not just my father, but. And I think you. It's hard to be authentic if you're a people pleaser, and I am much less of a people pleaser than I used to be, I think, to a fault. Like, I have this one story that I tell so that I. It really just. Just stuck with me. I had a friend who we were. We had planned to go out for a drink, and another friend got and said, okay, well, I'm going out with this fourth person. Let's just all do it together. We'll all go out. The fourth person was someone I was friendly with but not close friends with at that time. And I said, in this text chain, I said, no, the fourth person wasn't on the chain. And my friend said, what do you mean, no? I said, I don't want to do that. And so she was like, well, what do you mean? Why not? I said, because I don't want to. I don't want to be. I don't want to be around anyone tonight that I'm not. Whatever. She's like. But we're all going out. You know her, we're friends. And I said, so do you want me to lie and to make up a reason to tell you no? The reason I don't want to is simply because I don't want to. And I just remember owning that. Like, that moment for me probably sounds a little silly, but was so huge. Like, I don't need to make up an excuse. I don't want to go out with someone that I'm not very good friends with tonight. I don't feel like shooting. I don't want to hear about their kids. I don't want to have to, you know, ask about things. I'm tired, my time is limited. But I. For some reason, it felt very authentic to me, and it feels to me. I wish that I could operate like that all the time and it wasn't being mean.

[Jen Fessler]

I think that as you get old, certainly as I've gotten older, the biggest power that I've. I've sensed, like, the biggest change is being able to say no.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

No is not a bad.

[Jen Fessler]

You know, because I always felt bad. I was a yes person for so long, and I. I have no problem saying no now. And I have the wisdom to know. I mean, I'm almost 50, and I have this feeling that has only come in the past few years that if I am being myself and someone doesn't like it, they're not for me. They are not my person.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Amen, sister. Yeah.

[Jen Fessler]

And I do sense sometimes I stop now and take stock of how I'm actually feeling. And I know who makes me feel good and who doesn't. And I really enjoy being around the people who, who make me feel good. And I say yes to that a lot. But I say no to a lot of things now. I don't feel like, feel like life is really short. And I've seen many people that I know not doing well, like in, you know, getting sick or really just things happening. Yeah.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yes. I told you. I have four friends right now who are recently diagnosed with cancer. Yeah.

[Jen Fessler]

And I kind of don't want to waste the time, you know, waste time doing things that, that don't make me happy anymore. And I think that I'm really lucky because I, I, I, for a long time, like you, I was a people pleaser, and I had a really hard time saying no. I didn't want people to be disappointed in me. I was always worried about what people thought of me and just really getting rid of all of that as I get older. And it's not just a function of age. I think that's a function also of therapy. But I think being able to say no to things has opened my life up a lot.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah, I agree. Therapy has definitely helped me. And I'm not always, I'm not perfect at it. I still find myself getting caught up in people pleasing and saying what I think that people want to hear. But I'm way more aware of it. I do it way less than I used to. And I'm always like, my therapist always says to me, like, I'm already ahead of the game because I can see it. So I can see that I'm actually doing it, you know?

[Jen Fessler]

Right, yes, agree. And I think, you know, people ask a lot about the show. Is it real? Are the friendships real? Are all of that real? And I have a few opinions on that. I mean, first of all, on the show, it's very hard to be completely real because. And I'm not just saying me, I'm saying in general. First of all, you have to say things that you wouldn't normally say in real life. Right. Like if you dislike somebody and you walk into a room with them, my baseline would be to just not pay attention to them.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Of course.

[Jen Fessler]

But on a show where you're getting paid to give your opinion, you cannot do that. You can't just, like, close up. So you're, you're saying things that you probably wouldn't say ordinarily in real life, even though you do feel them. Right. You're confronting people that you would probably just ignore. And I also think that there's this, like, this constant, like, knowledge that the audience is going to judge you and nobody wants to be punched in the face for the next, like, three months. So you're not going to say. Even if you think something, you're not going to say the things that are going to get you absolutely destroyed online unless you've had too much to drink, probably.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Right. Well, but that, you know, it's so funny because I think that's part of what made the very beginning of Housewife specifically, like, for me at least, like New York. I didn't watch this Orange county as much at the very beginning, but they had no knowledge of what could happen or would happen or, you know, the social media of it all. So there was. They had no way to prepare themselves. And as talking about authenticity, I feel like they were so authentic. And it's very hard to do it now because you see what can happen. Right. Like back in the day of the Housewives franchises, it was a, you know, there was a clean. No one knew what anything could turn into. So, yeah, definitely more sort of self awareness, which I guess is sometimes translates into not being as authentic. Right, Right.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. I mean, but it is hard. It is hard to be completely, totally authentic on the shows. But I did. I always tried my hardest.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I forgot to say that those are the words I really tried. And I think that people ask me all the time, like, would you do differently? I did the best I could and with what I had in every single moment. And I tried to be as honest as I could be. I think that I feel differently about situations now than I did when I was on the show. Maybe I would react differently now, but I can't say I have regrets, per se, because I was in the moment.

[Jen Fessler]

No, me neither. Me neither. Not at all. I mean, everything. I was trying my best. I did have a season where I cried a lot, and I think maybe I would try to be a little stronger that season.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

But that's authentic as you can get.

[Jen Fessler]

Yes, I know. But also, like, it's a show, like, it's not that deep, you know, so. Okay, so let's talk about making new friends at this stage. Do you enjoy making new friends or do you. Are you.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

So, in all honesty, Jac, I've been. I've always. There are certain things that, like, we all are born with gifted. And I don't. You know, I talk about this again a lot in therapy. I connect with people very easily and always have. When I was a little kid, so I tend to make friends and I'm not. This is not in a braggy way, because everyone has stuff, right, that they're just born with. I have. For some reason, I can just connect with people. You know, I have a million bad things about me, good things about me, whatever. But as I'm getting older, I. I want to less and less. Like, I'm not as interested in making new friends as I used to be. So I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just what it is. I don't really feel like bringing new people as much into my world unless I really connect with someone. And, you know, I have some crazy kind of chemistry with someone. Friendship, work, you know, And I don't know, I feel like I have a lot of friends now, and I'm not as eager to, you know, connect like I used to be.

[Jen Fessler]

What about you? I. I enjoy making new friends, but only if I really feel that connection, then I'll pursue it. If not, I get lazy with it because I have my people, I have my girls here in my town, I have my college friends, and I have, like, my, like, you know, you. I have, like, other friends like, that are, like, single friends, you know, like. But I. I don't know. I like making friends, but I have this one friend, and she has a million friends, right? And she is invited to, like, every single thing. She's friends with every single person. I know every party you go to, she's there. And I was talking to her and she said, I really just like people. Because I said, how do you keep up with all of these things? She said, I really enjoy people. Like, I love hearing people's stories and seeing people's lives and knowing people's, like, adventures. And, like, I just thought to myself, that's such an interesting way. I don't think she gets in so deep with anybody, but she just loves, like, she has her close friends, but she just loves being around people. I think. I think, to each their own. But, like, to Evan, do I love people anymore?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I guess I used to. I know I connect with people easily. I'm also. I love being alone. I love, like, I love my alone time. I don't know. Do you feel like you love people so much?

[Jen Fessler]

I love the people I love. I don't. I don't love. You know what? It's funny. I do like people. I do. I'm one of those people who. I like you until you give me a reason not to like you. And Evan is the opposite. He doesn't like anybody until they give him reasons to like him and then he loves them. But he, like, my baseline is to start off really liking you. And I am easy to get along with. And I'm an easy forgiver, too. Unless I've been burned, like, a few times, then I won't. I think I am at least an easy forgiver. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? You think?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Is that a good thing? I think it's a good thing, probably. I mean. And I'm also an easy apologizer. Like, I don't have a hard time saying I'm sorry.

[Jen Fessler]

Me neither. Me neither.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

You and I, would we be friends if it wasn't for the show? And I. I think, in all honesty, we would probably be. This is going to be a weird thing to say. Even better. Friends. Yeah, we're good friends.

[Jen Fessler]

I 100% agree with that. I do. Because I think that there's. Well, first of all, you're friends with people who don't like me, which means that we can't always go to things together. But also. And I'm friends with people that don't like me. Close with.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Right.

[Jen Fessler]

No, they like you, actually. We can discuss that.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

That's a whole other.

[Jen Fessler]

Yes, but I think that also, like, weird, like, if the show came back and one of us was back and one of us wasn't, I don't see how that wouldn't make things awkward. Right.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah, I guess. I mean, I'm more like.

[Jen Fessler]

This show.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yes. Yes. If we're being honest, of course, that's. Yes. But I sort of mean more like. Because with the show and just what it is, right. It is about conflict resolution and. And we're together all the time in this very. In this microcosm in the arena, but without that, you know? And what would we ever. If we met in Upper Saddle river or Tenafly, and let's say I was a little younger or you were a little older, kids the same age. I mean, how would we not get along? Right.

[Jen Fessler]

We're basically very similar, and I think that's what drew us to each other from the beginning.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I mean, just a lot of. A lot in common and. And not, you know, a lot. Maybe because we're Jewish and we have kids. Well, mine are older again, but we run in similar circles. And.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

So. And then you would take away that piece of it that was hard to navigate, which is a lot of times. Has to do with the show. Right?

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah, for sure. And the show is not going to last forever, so I think that's a really exciting thing for us. Right. Like, when the show is completely over for both of us, I think that maybe we could explore, like a new part of our friendship.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah, listen, we also have this together, so we're bonded through this. And I'm not trying to say that, you know, we're not good friends, but the show makes things complicated and sometimes, you know, it becomes for all of us. I don't think anyone gets away without feeling that kind of tension that comes with the show. And there's a lot of competition and there's a lot of.

[Jen Fessler]

Yes. And I will tell you this. I have. I have circled through friends on this show, and no matter who I was friends with at any given time, everyone was badmouthing everyone. And I will just say that. So I'm not sure how authentic friendships are. And it's the reason why I didn't watch Beverly Hills this season, but it's the reason why someone like Garcelle leaves and unfollows everyone on the cast. It's because the friendships aren't. They're built on a shared experience. And once that experience is gone, I think a piece of the friendship disintegrates. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

We've talked about therapy numerous times on our show and truly believe therapy is good for your health.

[Jen Fessler]

And although it may seem overwhelming to start, BetterHelp makes it easy and accessible and you can save on average up to 50% per session.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I really honestly don't know where I would be without therapy in my life. I've worked through so many past issues, and I prepared myself for whatever it is that life throws me.

[Jen Fessler]

Therapy has really helped me get over a lot of my fears around food and eating and has also helped me find coping mechanisms for anxiety.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally.

[Jen Fessler]

It's convenient, too. You can join a session with the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus switch therapists at any time.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com jersey to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com jersey hello, darlings. Pack your suitcase for a new season of the Hulu original reality series Vanderpump Villa.

[Jen Fessler]

Let's see. Do this.

[Stassi Schroeder]

Ciao.

[Jen Fessler]

It's Stassi.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Of course.

[Jen Fessler]

Lisa brought in her favorite to be resident chaperone of the castle. Stassi is an icon.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

She's my eyes and ears.

[Jen Fessler]

I love this.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Get ready for the luxury and drama.

[Jen Fessler]

That awaits us in Italy. Cheers to all the toxic couples in the castle. Season 2 of Vanderpump Villa is now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Streaming on Hulu with T Mobile. No transpotter has to deal with trendspotty service because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network. Switch now. Keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off up to $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com keepandswitch up to 4 lines of your virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service report in 90 plus days device ineligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report have you ever.

[Stassi Schroeder]

Looked around at your crew and thought, man, these are my people. The ones who turn the smallest moments into memories you'll be talking about for years. The folks who show up when you need them and make your life so much better. Well, now you can make those moments even sweeter because Sherra Coke is back. And this time it's all about celebrating friendships. Whether you're hanging out, watching the game or just chopping it up, there's a Coke for everyone from bestie and bro to classic names like David and Sarah. These special cans and bottles are made for your whole squad. So grab one, crack it open and toast to the people who make life worth celebrating. But don't wait. They won't be around forever. So grab one for everybody, pop the top and keep the good vibes flowing. Next time you're making memories, don't miss your chance to share a Coke with all your favorite people.

[Jen Fessler]

Even if you didn't watch White Lotus, you didn't need to in order to really get involved in this part of it. So stay with us. We're going to read you this speech by Carrie Coon. So just to preface, three women in the White Lotus cast were on a girls trip together. They were childhood friends. One of the women She's a beautiful actress married to a younger man. Another woman is played by Leslie Bibb. And she's sort of like, has it all together. Fancy Texas woman.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Was an Austin.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah, I don't remember. Like a Republican. Very polished.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Right, right.

[Jen Fessler]

And then the third was played by Carrie Coon, who is a brilliant actress and she is sort of like the dark horse of the group. Right. Like she does not have her together. She's more, she's single. She's got a like kind of wild teenager. And they had a really interesting week in, in Thailand where they were often bad mouthing each other when one wasn't in the room. And we're supposed to believe that they were the best of friends from childhood, but you often were questioning how close this group of women were and whether they really liked each other.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Scary, Jack, is that that was my favorite part of, of this, of this season, their friend group, their friendship, which is kind of funny. This is probably because I relate to it, you know, on some level, like maybe specifically with Housewives. But you know, that whole sort of. It was not. So much of their friendship was not authentic. I mean, this, this speech at the end that Carrie Coons gives, I do believe was. Of course. So we'll get to that.

[Jen Fessler]

I'm going to read it.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Okay.

[Jen Fessler]

And then we could break it down. So this is right after the beautiful actress. One says she's been on cloud nine all week. So Carrie Coon says that's funny because if I'm being honest, all week I've been so sad. I just feel like my expectations were too high or I just feel like as you get older, you have to justify your life, you know, and your choices. And when I'm with you guys, it's just so like transparent what my choices were and my mistakes. I have no belief system and I. I mean, I've had a lot of them. But I mean, work was my religion forever and I. But I definitely lost my belief there. And then I tried love and that was just a painful religion. Just made everything worse. And then even for me, just like being a mother, that didn't save me either. But I had this epiphany today. I don't need religion or God to give my life meaning because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we're going through it apart, but we're still together. And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful. And I can't explain it, but even when we're just sitting around the pool talking about whatever means, it still feels Very deep. I'm glad you have a beautiful face, and I'm glad that you have a beautiful life, and I'm just happy to be at the table. I love you. So I have thoughts.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

By the way, well done. So there's that. Maybe you should get into scripted television. And also, I got something new out of it. When you just read it, it reminds me so much of my high school friends, because there are four of us. We get together once a year. My friend has a house on the Chesapeake in Maryland, and it's this great house, and every year, we been doing it for so many years now, and it feels just like what you said. And sometimes, if I'm being honest, it does feel like. Like you're comparing your life and trying to justify your life, because we. I go back with these women since freshman year of high school, and so you see their lives, and it. And it's. Now we have pure love for each other. I'm very lucky. With these three women. There's not. There's not jealousy, and there's not. It's not like what these three were doing. We don't talk about each other, but there's something about, like, having known each other all of these years, and, like, my choices become very real. Like, I live this way. Jill lives this way, Kelly lives this way, Allison lives this way. And maybe I should have lived more like Allison lives or, you know, like. I mean, there's just a lot that comes right. That gets right in my face when the four of us are together.

[Jen Fessler]

I agree with that. I have that with my college friends, and we live very different lives, and again, we don't talk about each other. I wouldn't have a bad word to say about any of them if they left the room. But I. I agree that I. I look at their lives, and sometimes I'm like, am I spending enough time with my kids? Am I like, should I be living healthier life? I question a lot of my health choices.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Me too.

[Jen Fessler]

I do that. One thing that got me from the start was Jacqueline saying she had been on cloud nine all week. And I felt like it started off very inauthentic, because if you watch the show, you saw that she couldn't reach her husband. She's married to a younger man.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Were he married, or was it just.

[Jen Fessler]

No, I think it was her husband. Yeah.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Okay.

[Jen Fessler]

And then she. Spoiler alert. She cheated on him with Valentin. Right. And I just felt like, if you're doing that and you. And you're.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

So.

[Jen Fessler]

She seemed very hungry to be recognized and very. Just like I felt like she clearly was not happy. Like maybe she loved being famous and beautiful, but there was a, definitely a missing piece. And I think to say that you were on cloud nine all week when you were unable to reach your husband, wondering what he was doing and then cheating on him.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I think that's, and then having it, having to actually be confronted about cheating by your other two friends, like that didn't go well.

[Jen Fessler]

And bad mouthing your friends, I don't think that's a happy person. I just don't, I don't see how you could say that you've been on cloud nine all week. I feel like there's a, there was a lot of pretending to be happy and I think a lot of women pretend to be happy because if you don't keep that happy face on, a lot of sadness can come in. You know, it's hard being our age.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

We might not talk about our age. Me, Jackie Goldschneider.

[Jen Fessler]

Our age means middle aged. It's that the invisible woman thing that we talked about last year. You know, at this age you're, you're really kind of like neither here nor there. Your children leave, everyone seems younger. I remember getting to my town, moving to my town and I was like, haha. Like I'm the young new blood and like I'm young and like so many people here are old. And now like I'm old and so many people here are young.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Oh, it's so weird. Women are. All my friends are leaving now. They're all downsizing.

[Jen Fessler]

Moving to Florida, right? Moving to Arizona. People are just moving, man. It's like, it's, it's, it's crazy. Like I don't feel old personally, but I'm older, you know, And I think that if you don't keep a happy face on sometimes and keep a facade on sometimes that you can get kind of depressed. So I understand it. But at the same time, I don't think, I don't think that Jacqueline's character was being authentic.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I don't either, but I also, I don't, I don't keep a happy face on all the time.

[Jen Fessler]

No, no, I don't either. I'm just saying for a lot of women.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

No, I know, I'm not even saying you, me, but like, like that whole thing, like, I don't know, I'm not good. Like when I'm unhappy, like everyone has to know about it. I mean.

[Jen Fessler]

Oh, really? No, not me.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Like, I'll like, if you ask me, how are you? And I'M not okay. I'm not okay. I don't really. And maybe that's partially. I mean, I guess I'm authentic in that. In that way. And everything in my life is not perfect. And it is not. We are like, I don't want. I have a lot of blessings, but I also have a lot of. To deal with all the time. Like we all do, you know.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. How did you feel about. Okay, so I read a lot of. I. I tend to deep dive when I'm really interested in something. So I deep dived White Lotus a lot. But specifically this speech, you know, Carrie Coon kind of indicates that friendships are what give her life meaning. Right. And I saw a lot of different opinions on whether friendship is enough. And I think for some people it could be right. But for me, that would not be enough.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

You mean in terms of what. I don't get it.

[Jen Fessler]

So, okay, so, for example, like, if.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

You didn't have a husband and children, you mean.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah, so. So I don't think that friendships can replace everything else. I mean, that's just me personally. I think that friendships are amazing, but I don't know many people who would. I certainly wouldn't die for my friends. Right. But I would for my family. And I don't know that the friendships are deep enough to be what gives your life meaning. It would be amazing, but not for me personally. They wouldn't be enough now that I know otherwise, they wouldn't be enough to give my life meaning.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I just thought of. So my sister has a best friend. And when I say a best friend, I mean like a best friend on the phone with each other. Anything that happens, all of us know her, her kid, my sister's kids. She is. She's family. I mean, they are as close as I am to Robin. Like, I. That's how close her friend is to her. And they probably share a lot more than even my sister and I do. I mean, it has. It is different because we have a mother and father that we share and, you know, it's whatever. But my point is that recently my sister's friend got diagnosed with cancer. And my. Which I don't want to even get into because whatever. I'm not saying her name, but it doesn't matter. But anyway, I just kept thinking, like, I love this person too. So. So first I thought of her, but then also I thought of my sister because she is a part of my sister's life and as important to her, I feel like, as anybody can be. And she is. It's Hard to picture one of them without the other. And I mean that. Like, I don't know that. I. I have a lot of very close friendships, but in this case, I feel like they're just like that. It's like, you have a husband, you have kids, and you have. For my sister, she has this best friend. I think it is possible to have friends that are that close. This friend of hers is not married, doesn't have kids, but everything is just Robin and her kids. So I don't know. Just made me think of that. And I don't know. I have a lot of.

[Jen Fessler]

Because I. I. It comes back to the, who would you lay your life down for? And who would do it for you? And I don't think that there's people outside of my family.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Well, laying it down, that's a hard one. I mean, the kids, because that's just everything.

[Jen Fessler]

But also, like, who would you trust completely? 100% trust. Right? I love my friends, and I've had the same best friend since I'm 18. She was my maid of honor, I was hers, and we're still best friends. And I. I don't think that there's anyone in the world that I would 100% trust, aside from my family. Like, my.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

About trust. You mean tell people things?

[Jen Fessler]

Just, like, if it came down to not even, like, tell people. Yeah. My deepest, darkest secret, maybe that I don't know. That I would 100 trust that anyone who's not my immediate family would. Would hold that sacred, you know? And I do have very strong friendships. I'm just being honest. I don't.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

That's what we do here.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. I. I don't think that there's. I don't think that friendships run as deep. And they can be beautiful, and they can. And I have amazing friendships, but I don't think they run as deep as family. I just don't. And I know that a lot of people will dispute that, but I just don't.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Nothing. I mean, that's been your experience, so.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. And I love my friendships. I just. Maybe I just don't. Look, I don't need them to be that for me because I have a big family. Hello, darlings.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Pack your suitcase for a new season of the Hulu original reality series Vanderpump Villa.

[Jen Fessler]

Let's do this.

[Stassi Schroeder]

Ciao.

[Jen Fessler]

It's Stassi.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Of course.

[Jen Fessler]

Lisa brought in her favorite to be resident chaperone of the castle. Darcy is an icon.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

She's my eyes and ears.

[Jen Fessler]

I love this.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Get ready for the luxury and drama.

[Jen Fessler]

That awaits us in Italy. Cheers to all the toxic couples in the castle. Season 2 of Vanderpump Villa is now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Streaming on Hulu with T Mobile. No trendspotter has to deal with trendspotty service because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network. Switch now. Keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off up to $800 per line via prepaid cart. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com keepandswitch up to 4 lines of your virtual prepaid card allowed 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service port in 90 plus days device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report have you ever.

[Stassi Schroeder]

Looked around at your crew and thought, man, these are my people? The ones who turn the smallest moments into memories you'll be talking about for years. The folks who show up when you need them and make your life so much better? Well, now you can make those moments even sweeter. Because Share a Coke is back. And this time it's all about celebrating friendships. Whether you're hanging out, watching the game or just chopping it up, there's a Coke for everyone from bestie and bro to classic names like David and Sarah. These special cans and bottles are made for your whole squad. So grab one, crack it open and toast to the people who make life worth celebrating. But don't wait. They won't be around forever. So grab one for everybody, pop the top and keep the good vibes flowing. Next time you're making memories, don't miss your chance to share a Coke with all your favorite people.

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[Jen Fessler]

Do you say I love you to your friends? And do you always mean it?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I don't know. Do I always mean it? What is I love?

[Jen Fessler]

I say I love you a lot.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I always say I love you. It's not the same I love you. I guess the love yous are different for different. Telling my mother I love her or my kids or is it the same? I don't know. It comes very naturally to me to say I love you. So I don't. It's a great question. I have to think about it. I mean, I don't think. I don't mean it. Maybe, I don't know, I hand out love me.

[Jen Fessler]

Do you say it too easily?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I don't know.

[Jen Fessler]

Easily? Yeah. Like if I'm leaving dinner with like six women and three of them are close and three are not, I'll say love you to everyone. I do. So a lot of times I don't mean it.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

What is love you mean like for a friend love you means. I don't know. That means I'll die.

[Jen Fessler]

I do love my friends.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah.

[Jen Fessler]

But I don't love my acquaintances. And I hand it out.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Jen Fessler]

But I think in this instance, and I heard that the I love you were not part of the speech that Mike White wrote, that they all kind of improvise.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Did you notice that the way they said those I love yous were very different than like a casual I love you? Like they looked each other in the eye after that speech and they weren't saying it in like a cute way. They were really saying it. Did you notice that it was cool?

[Jen Fessler]

I did. And I think it served an important purpose. I think it sort of brought them all back to the same place of we have and we know we have and like we're not perfect friends and we don't have perfect lives, but at the end of it all we're there for each other.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Because they really, they were saying like the Real me sees the real you. Like who I am. All of my. Regardless of her beautiful face or her beautiful life or, like, you know, past all that, like, there's actual real love there.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. I didn't feel bad for Carrie Coon's character, though. Kind of felt like she was a free bird.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

She was a little bit also at times. They all were. I mean, of it is that one would leave the room and the other two would talk, and then the other leave the room and the other two would talk. I mean, it was definitely car. She wasn't like, you know, she loved shooting like some shade.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. Those were not friendships, though, that I, I, I feel drawn to. I don't like the thought of a friend talking about me when I leave the room. And I try really hard not to talk about friends behind their back. I go back and forth with how I feel about gossip. Sometimes I really like it and then I feel bad because I feel like it. It's a little toxic.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

It is definitely toxic. And I definitely also like it.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah, Well, I think I've, I've heard that gossip is a very, like, natural human way to make, like, the world make sense to you.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

That makes us feel better.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah, but I'm, I'm trying. And you know, another thing that came up when I was deep diving, all of this is something called the modern woman's dilemma. So there was a USA Today article about how talking about Carrie Coon's speech and sort of how women have achieved so much and we are still like, we are the most unhappy that we've been. Some of the research was saying that women in women in the US do better than ever before. There was a Pew Research center poll that said last year women earned an average of 85%. It was up 4 percentage points from 2023. We earn 85% of what men earn. We have more college degrees than men, and single women own more homes than single men. And just women are just doing so great and they are so unhappy. They're calling it the female happiness paradox. We have much more anxiety, depression, sadness, loneliness, anger, mental health.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Listen, look at it. I mean, it's same as kids. Kids have all these things now that we didn't have. Right. All.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah, well, the kids, I think, is social media, but also, I think for adults.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yes, but it's. Yes, definitely. It's technology in general, though, you know, and it's like, even if it's video games, it's still. The kids have more materialistically. Well, not all kids, I guess. And kids are now, you know, anxiety among adolescents is an epidemic. But anyway, we're talking about women our age. Yes. So what is that about?

[Jen Fessler]

Why do you think that we're so unhappy? You think it's technology? I'm not personally so unhappy, but I know a lot of women who are.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I mean, yeah. I mean, everything. All roads lead back to social media. Right. But I don't. I don't know. I think we have way more access to each other's lives. And by each other, I don't just mean our friends and our family, but around the world. Right. Like we see.

[Jen Fessler]

Right. Which. Which I think makes it very easy to compare ourselves to other people. And I think comparison, it's very true. It's the thief of joy. It's. Anytime I start to compare myself to other people, I feel bad instantly.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

To compare is to despair. If you hear that.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

So. But also, like, I don't know, there's a lot. This world is not. This is not an easy place to be right now. I mean, I can think of when I feel unhappy. And part of it, yes, I think it has to do with comparing and social media and all of that, but also just world is so crazy, and I can get myself caught up in thinking about the Middle east and Israel and just be depressed and, you know, this is a crazy world that we live in, no matter how much stuff we have. And certainly you and I are very blessed. And there are always going to be people that have more than us and people that have left way less and way more. We have enough. And that how, you know, lucky are we that we don't have to. We're not hungry and we have way more than we even need. But still, there's unhappiness.

[Jen Fessler]

Well, I think, you know, what social media does is makes a lot of things anticlimactic. Like I always said to myself, if I ever get to actually publish a book, like, that's all I'll ever need in life. And then I published a book, and like, three weeks later, I was kind of like, huh. It doesn't feel like. Like it's amazing, but it doesn't feel like I thought it would feel. Because then I look online and I see people whose books did better than mine, and I see people who are on longer book tours and people who are enjoying it more. And I was. And it makes everything kind of feel anticlimactic. Right? And then I said to myself, God, if I ever get a podcast on iHeart and a book that's all I'll ever read, in the world. And now I've got a podcast on iHeart and a book, and it's kind.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Of like how life works.

[Jen Fessler]

Well, I don't. I don't feel satisfied yet. What else do I need?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Satisfied is different than unhappy. Like.

[Jen Fessler]

No, I'm not unhappy. I'm just saying, like social media. I'm saying, this is why. No, I know I'm happy because nothing is ever good enough because you're always seeing what everyone else is doing.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Well, I always tell the story of how when we. This is our third house in my town, and when we saw it and we were bidding on it and hoping to get it, I remember saying, if I end up. We end up getting this house, I will never have an unhappy day. I could never like. And the house, my house is a beautiful house. It's not, you know, I don't live in a. In a mansion. And it is just a beautiful house that I fell in love with when I saw it. And I thought, I'll never be unhappy. I can't be unhappy living in this house. I mean, I do recall someone on.

[Jen Fessler]

Our cast saying, it was a cute little house.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yes, I would definitely. Cute little house. Yes. Everything. You have to have perspective, I suppose. But it is, it is a cute house. Just. I love my house.

[Jen Fessler]

Gorgeous.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I've had many unhappy moments here, so.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah, I know. I just. You know what?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

And I. I do feel like the unhappy ones.

[Jen Fessler]

It does sound like therapy mumbo jumbo, but it brings. Ties back everything about authenticity and female friendships and all of it and what gives life meaning. And I think that you really are not going to find, and I learned this the hard way, you're not going to find happiness from external stuff because there's always going to be someone doing it better, someone who looks better, someone who's richer, smarter, achieving more. You really have to do the inner work. And like, I. I envy so much the people who are so at peace with their lives and happy with their lives that they don't search for external validation. Because as much as I've conquered my insecurities, I still need more external validation than I'm comfortable with.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I think that's so human. Right? It's like that's. I think most, most of us, specifically women, but, like, feel like that. And I mean, you get better, right? I mean, we've talked a lot about this, but it's not trying to be. You try, you know, if you're trying to climb up the ladder, whatever the ladder is. I don't know, the social ladder. At the, or let's say the ladder of fame or the la. And you're up at the top right now. You're famous and you are, you feel beautiful and all you worry about is the fall.

[Jen Fessler]

Right.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Or is losing what you have up here. And then when you're down at the bottom, you can only concentrate on climbing that ladder, getting somewhere. And meanwhile, the idea is to know that you're special. You're enough. You have enough. Like living in dignity doesn't matter if you're up here or down here. I mean, I've told that, my shrink told me that a long time ago. And it's always sort of stuck with me and especially like in the crazy world that I've been living in. You've been living in longer than I have, but of reality television where, oh, everybody likes me. And then what if they don't like me tomorrow? Or nobody likes me? How do I make them like me? You know, it's like it has to. Just living authentically. Maybe just like it doesn't matter. I know who I am. I do the best I can. I love who I love. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Jen Fessler]

But I, I don't want, I don't want you to take wrong what I said. I, I, I think female friendships are incredibly important and they're incredibly important to me. I just don't, me personally, I don't think that they replace the other.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I don't think there's anything wrong with what you said. I mean, yeah, I don't, this is your experience. Like, that's another one of those buzz things, I can't expressions. Your experience. And that's your value. My journey. You're right.

[Jen Fessler]

Your journey stopped gaslighting me.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Stop gaslighting me.

[Jen Fessler]

Weaponizing my life.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Exactly. Your truth.

[Jen Fessler]

But I, you know, I do, I do enjoy making new friends. And I don't think you're ever too old to make new friends. And I don't know, I think I really struggled with friendships when I was in high school. And so now I, I appreciate them so much. And when I am with my friends, I feel good. I feel really good.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah.

[Jen Fessler]

And, and when I'm with the wrong people, I feel really bad. And you've seen that. You've seen the way I change in certain situations.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I mean, we have all gone through that in our own ways. Everybody, I mean, you know, that's not. I know how you feel. And I've felt it too.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. Anyway, if you haven't watched White Lotus, go watch it. Because it is definitely even Outside.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I didn't want to go to Thailand after watching it.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. I. I don't. I'd never felt a draw to Thailand.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I did.

[Jen Fessler]

I think ever since the tsunami, I've been scared.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I've been. I always thought I would want to go there, but, like, it wasn't like the other white lotuses that were. Where were they? Greece, for one of them.

[Jen Fessler]

Oh, my God. Season two of White Lotus in. In Sicily.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yes.

[Jen Fessler]

Was the most amazing television show I have.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Oh, Hawaii and Italy.

[Jen Fessler]

Why was the first season I thought was good? Second season was amazing. Like, the best show ever.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Like, Thailand, they. The way that they portrayed it just felt very dark. I heard.

[Jen Fessler]

Oh, yeah, that water balloon festival in town.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yeah, right.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. They did not do it justice. I know that people, like.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

It was like, even that pool that they sat by, it was like there was never any sun. Like, they were sitting, sunbathing. I couldn't even feel.

[Jen Fessler]

Yeah. Second season of White Lotus is the best show ever. I think that third season was the second best. And first season I liked.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Didn't love, I mean, anything that Jennifer.

[Jen Fessler]

Coolidge, I mean, she's just amazing. But by the way, on the plane ride home from Spain, I couldn't sleep, so I watched Bob Dylan movie, and then it was over, and I didn't know what to watch. You know, I love a biopic and I love music movies, but I thought it was just like, I think Timothee Chalamet was amazing, but the movie itself, I thought was very good. I definitely didn't think it was, I.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Don'T know, coming up for me. And, like, I'm like, nah.

[Jen Fessler]

Anyway, so after that, I didn't want to watch another movie. I didn't have the attention span, so I was slipping through the TV shows on there. And I haven't been watching as much Bravo these days, only because, like, I'm watching Atlanta Housewives. Sometimes it's a little hard for me to watch the Housewives right now because I have very mixed feelings about how I feel about things. And so I've been avoiding some of the Housewives shows, but they had season one of the Valley on there. And I never watched earlier Vanderpump Rules season, so I know nothing about these characters. And I watched episode one, season one of the Valley, and oh, my God, I watched all three and then came home and like, binged the rest of season one. It is so good. Jen Fessler, watch the Valley.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Okay.

[Jen Fessler]

It is maybe the best show I've ever seen on Bravo.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Oh, come on.

[Jen Fessler]

Unbelievable. Yes. It's unbelievable. Every. Every person on that show is giving it everything. I mean, I'm only at the end of season one, but really, truly interesting people. Giving it everything.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Okay.

[Jen Fessler]

And really being. Talk about being authentic. So. And I would love to get to. Oh, you met Brittany. Who did you meet from the Valley?

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Brittany. But I sat by Janet and she was. It was really fun. Like, we had a great time together. And then she said they would. Said they would come on the pod and Brittany, too.

[Jen Fessler]

I would love that. I would love it. It's a really great show. Anyway, this was fun.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

This was fun and it was authentic.

[Jen Fessler]

It was very authentic. And I look forward to one day when we're little old ladies, seeing what our friendship's like without the show.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Yes. Amen, sister.

[Jen Fessler]

So until next time, guys.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Until next time.

[Jen Fessler]

This podcast is supported by BetterHelp, offering licensed therapists you can connect with via video phone or chat. Here's BetterHelp, head of clinical operations, Hes Yu Jo discussing who can benefit from therapy.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

I think a lot of people think.

[Jen Fessler]

That you're supposed to be going to therapy once you're like having panic attacks every day. But before you get to that point, I think once you start even noticing that you feel a little bit off and you can't maintain this harmony that you once had in relationships, that could.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Be a sign that maybe you want.

[Jen Fessler]

To go talk to somebody. There's always a benefit in talking to someone because we can all benefit from improved insight about ourselves and who we are and how we behave with other people. So if you're human, that's like a good indicator that you could benefit from talking to somebody. Find out if therapy is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com today. That's betterhelp.com in golf, precision is everything, on and off the course.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

PGA of America chose advanced 5G solutions from T Mobile for business for smooth operations and seamless transactions. Together, we enhance ticketing and concessions for better fitness fan experiences from gate to green.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is pro level efficiency.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

This is PGA of America with T Mobile for business. Take your business further@t mobile.com now.

[Jen Fessler]

Hello, darlings. Pack your suitcase for a new season.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Of the Hulu original reality series Vanderpump Villa.

[Jen Fessler]

Let's do this.

[Stassi Schroeder]

Ciao.

[Jen Fessler]

It's Stassi.

[Stassi Schroeder]

Of course.

[Jen Fessler]

Of course. Lisa brought in her favorite to be resident chaperone of the castle. Dawsey is an icon.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

She's my eyes and ears.

[Jen Fessler]

I love this.

[Jackie Goldschneider]

Get ready for the luxury and drama.

[Jen Fessler]

That awaits us in Italy. Cheers to all The Toxic Couples in the Castle. Season two of Vanderpump Villa is now streaming on Hulu.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this spring. Refresh your spring personal care items and earn four times points on all your favorites when you shop in store or online. Earn 4 times points when you shop for items like pantene shampoo, Gillette Fusion 5 razors, secret body spray, always pads, loves diapers, Pepto Bismol and Nervive Nerve Relief Cream. Then use your rewards for discounts on groceries or gas. Offer ends May 20th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

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