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Jen Fessler
Hi guys. I'm Jen Fessler from two Jersey J's. I'm without my partner Jackie today, but guess who I am with? The beautiful Kelly Bensmoan.
Kelly Bensimon
Hey.
Jen Fessler
And we by the way, are not in Jersey.
Kelly Bensimon
We are not.
Jen Fessler
We are not in Jersey. No, Toto. We are in Napa Valley.
Kelly Bensimon
We're in Napa Valley.
Jen Fessler
We are in the Napa Valley. Have you been here before?
Kelly Bensimon
I have been here before but can imagine today we were at the concert live from the Vineyard. It was such a vibe. All the wine, all of the country music, so dreamy. Everybody was in cowboy boots. You're looking fire, by the way.
Jen Fessler
Thank you. You're looking fire too. Thank you so much.
Kelly Bensimon
I like how to pull out the feathers. I was like, you know what, let's you caught you.
Jen Fessler
Well when I text you earlier today about like what we Bring what you're wearing. You said to me, I'm just going to bring, like, go whole Coachella. Right, right.
Kelly Bensimon
It's like, yeah, it's like a country.
Jen Fessler
I know. But then I had to stop and call my daughter Rachel and say, so what would one wear to Coachella to such a thing anyway? I don't. She probably said feathers and cowboy boots. She didn't say this.
Kelly Bensimon
She didn't say bikinis.
Jen Fessler
No. All right, you guys. But I am so excited, first of all. Well, obviously, to be here at Napa, but to be with Kelly, because. So Kelly Bensmoan, I'm sure, to most of you, but to me is iconic. So Kelly goes back on New York Housewives. You know, the years where it was. I'm sorry, the golden years to me. But your seasons on the Housewives were. I'm sorry, no offense to anyone listening, the best of the best.
Kelly Bensimon
They were.
Jen Fessler
They really were. Right?
Kelly Bensimon
They were. You know, Luann and I talk about all the time and how just the relationships that were nurtured during that time were very raw and very real. I mean, you have to remember, too, we didn't have social media, right? So, like, everybody now, like, when I was on Ultimate Girls Trip, I was like, you're like, you're in a relationship with social media, right? Not just the Housewives.
Jen Fessler
So true.
Kelly Bensimon
So that is so true. So different. Yeah, so different. And the way that you play or the way that I. I don't play to anybody. I'm just like, do myself, which is, you know, bittersweet. But the way that some of the ladies play to the camera, based on their social media following, it's really strong. And I just don't pay attention. I'm like, if you like me, you're gonna like me, and if you don't like me, maybe you'll like me someday.
Jen Fessler
That's the healthy way to do Housewives right there. And it's very unusual, actually, but it's just. You're right. There was no the social media of it. There was none of that back in the day. So, like, we would watch an episode and whatever, get to work the next morning and just go through, like, when Kelly said, I'm here and you're here, that was the best. Whatever. But, you know, it was like. It was such a different thing.
Kelly Bensimon
You know, it's so funny because it was at the Brass Monkey, and I've been, you know, there was, like, a lot of waiting throughout the day of when we were supposed to film. And I didn't realize this because I did not watch the show, so I made a concerted effort because they were like, this is reality tv. And I had been on. I'd done. Had my own show before. So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna be.
Jen Fessler
Wait, Kel. What? I'm sorry.
Kelly Bensimon
I had a show called behind the Hedges where I interviewed, like, the best of the best, and I went shark diving. I was so much fun.
Jen Fessler
I didn't know that.
Kelly Bensimon
It was great. It was really fun. But what happened was much fun.
Jen Fessler
As Housewives.
Kelly Bensimon
No, Housewives.
Jen Fessler
Nothing is as much fun as Housewives.
Kelly Bensimon
Housewives is a really, really fun dynamic. But what happened that day was that we were supposed to be filming. And what I did not realize is that when she was doing interviews, she was saying, like, she was setting me up. She was. She was not setting me up for me. She was setting me up for. For the viewer. She was saying, this is Kelly, Ben, Simone. This is who she is. She hates me. She's a. You know, she's a bitch. I'm just a minion. You know, poor me. She's like the cheerleader and thinks she's amazing, and I'm an awful. Awful. And so she tried to set up this narrative, and then when I got there, and she's like, I'm late. I'm just like, you are being so rude. You made me wait all day long. Your child, she just acts like a child.
Jen Fessler
Wow.
Kelly Bensimon
And she continues to act like a child.
Jen Fessler
So I. So Kelly and I, just for the listeners. So we. Oh, now we've become friends. But before, we just keep running into each other. Right. I guess through I heart.
Kelly Bensimon
Well, we. We ran into together at. On the. On the red carpet at iHeartRadio, which was so much fun. Yes.
Jen Fessler
But then also at the movie premiere.
Kelly Bensimon
Amateur with Rami. Oh, my God. Yes.
Jen Fessler
So we ran into each other there, and then you were with.
Kelly Bensimon
We didn't run into each other. We literally, like, had, like, a meltdown where we saw each other. We were having so much fun. And by the way, Sonia Morgan, who I love so much, she's the most spirited, beautiful human. She works a red carpet. And I said, jen, you can't. You can't do all that. You can't do all the energy because I. Unless you got something to promote.
Jen Fessler
Yes. So I'm, like, walking the red carpet, and there's all these paparazzi, and I'm, like, trying to stop and, like, push my way into them like a desperado. And Kelly saved me. She's like. Because it's like, so I look. So whatever. Just desperado.
Kelly Bensimon
That is not true. You did not look.
Jen Fessler
Hi, I'm Jen Fessler. They're left. Second, I was on the Housewives on New Jersey as a friend of two years, but meanwhile, Sonia working it, and Kelly's, like, just stopped. Stand back. If they come to you, they come to you. So one of the first favors that Kelly did for me, but then you introduced me to a photographer, and you said, jen, this is why Bethany hates me.
Kelly Bensimon
Yes.
Jen Fessler
This guy who I guess was. Is a photographer. Nice guy.
Kelly Bensimon
Very nice guy.
Jen Fessler
I guess was at the time her boyfriend.
Kelly Bensimon
So he was taking photos of an event at my house, and she came with him, and then I, you know, he wanted to see the house. He wanted to go through it. So, I mean, I. I know him very well, so I was taking him through everything, and she, like, literally got her panties in a wad, and she.
Jen Fessler
Thought you were trying to steal her voice.
Kelly Bensimon
That. No, no, no. Like, no, no.
Jen Fessler
All right. We haven't, like, the Bethany of it all. Yeah. I won't put it on ice for a few minutes because.
Kelly Bensimon
But you know what let's not put on ice is that we were on this red carpet and you and I are chatting up a storm. Everyone else is taking photos like Lawrence Fish. And Jen goes, I'm gonna get that photo. No, I'm getting that photo. So. And. And your husband is so sweet, and he's like, are you gonna need the photo? And I was like, yep. I'm like, if whatever photo you want, you get. Like, you just get whatever phone.
Jen Fessler
Yeah, because Kelly's like, not a star. And I am. And I'm like, I am self proclaimed. I'm like, are you saying that I got dressed up, I spent $250 on the makeup. I spent hours. And I'm not getting a picture next to Lawrence Fishburne.
Kelly Bensimon
Wasn't his wife. His wife is so beautiful.
Jen Fessler
I felt a little badly as she was a little scared. She pounced like an animal. Yeah, it was bad.
Kelly Bensimon
And then you look at the photo that your husband took and you go, oh, my God.
Jen Fessler
No.
Kelly Bensimon
Oh, my God.
Jen Fessler
So the problem is with my husband is that he's very smart man. He's a. He's a attorney. He's a corporate attorney. Securities or something. I don't. Something uninteresting. But he, like, people trust him with his opinion.
Kelly Bensimon
I don't know how he gets through these.
Jen Fessler
How do you get through the day? It was like, literally, like, there was no. You couldn't even see Us in the picture. And he didn't have the wherewithal to say, guys, whatever. Anyway, that's for a different episode.
Kelly Bensimon
But, you know, I'm telling you, one thing that I really, really love about you is that we've had all these funny, fun things that have happened. So it's like, you know, Laurence Fishburne, red carpet, Sonia, all these things. I heard radio, but I remember distinctly we're waiting for Lawrence for you to get hit the photo. And I asked you guys about your relationship because I did not know. And you were so genuinely open right from the bat. And I just was very taken aback and just like, oh, my God. What? You're such a beautiful human because you're just so vulnerable. And I think that's something. It's the truth. And it's something that I've learned from being on this podcast, and I do part two. I've learned to be open, and I've learned to be more vulnerable, and it's helped me out so much in my personal life. So much. But you are just inherently very vulnerable. And it's a beautiful thing.
Jen Fessler
You know, it used to feel more vulnerable. Now it feels like. Like, when you start to share stuff, it starts to feel like a strength. Like, in other words. So if I tell you my. And there's lots of it, right? I. Whoever it is, I find that, like, immediately you'll start opening up then to me. So you, like, connect with people differently, but the other pieces, but you don't.
Kelly Bensimon
Do it at a time that's strategic. You just open, which is so disarming. And just like, women are not like that. Women are just not like that. They don't just jump into friendships because they're like, I don't know you. Who are you? You know, give me your bio. Is it okay for me to friends with you? I mean, you're just very disarming. And it really, like, that was a really fun night.
Jen Fessler
Nice thing to say.
Kelly Bensimon
It's the truth. It was a really fun night. But I was also like, oh, my God. And I was also. I learned something from that small little moment which most people like, you know, I don't know. I just was listening to what you guys were saying and that how you guys had your differences and how you were back together. And I also thought that was incredible because most people, most relationships, women or men, are just like, you're not doing what I like, I'm just gonna get rid of you.
Jen Fessler
Yeah.
Kelly Bensimon
And basically, that is what it is. I mean, you can say it however you Want. You can say they were uncoupling, they were doing this, whatever. But most men and women, they're just like, you're just not. You're not. You're not filling this void. You're done.
Jen Fessler
Wow.
Kelly Bensimon
And you guys.
Jen Fessler
Yeah, we definitely, I mean, went through so much together. We definitely did go through a lot. And I got very also very lucky. And I. I can. Do you know something? Because you're good.
Kelly Bensimon
Kelly, hold on. No, no. Kelly, hold on.
Jen Fessler
Here's the thing.
Kelly Bensimon
This is how you know she's one person.
Jen Fessler
Okay. But here's how you know that Kelly is a host. She's not just a guest. On I do part two, you have. In three minutes, you have switched this entire thing. This is about you. And all of a sudden, I know this is like, what? No, like, clearly, that's why they have made you a host. What else do you want to know about me? No, tell me about me. I'll tell you anything about my marriage for Housewives. Mouse wise. What do you want to know about me?
Kelly Bensimon
Well, I'm just thinking. I mean, honestly thinking.
Jen Fessler
But it's. Honestly, by the way, I don't always.
Kelly Bensimon
Maybe you should be on New York. Maybe if I. If there is this.
Jen Fessler
Well, you do have that connection. Okay, so.
Kelly Bensimon
So that's.
Jen Fessler
I can't lie. That's the dream. But I. And then I'm going to ask you a question that's going to relate directly to my next statement, which is that I would want to be on old New York. And now I want to ask you about new New York. So tell me what you think in terms of the last two seasons. And I don't think that this is even insulting. I think it's pretty well known. It has didn't resonate the same way that the reboot has not resonated like, you know, old New York. And why do you think that is?
Kelly Bensimon
I think one of the reasons that the reboot does not resonated is because women are so focused on their brands that. And I don't even know what brands they're talking about. I've never even heard of any of their brands. I love Jenna Lyons. I had no idea that she had eyelashes. I didn't. I didn't even know. I had no idea. So I've never even heard of any of these brands. And that was. That also just, like, rubbed me wrong because when I went on the show, I was recently divorced. I had two young children. I was single. Very, very, very single. And I was literally like. They were like, don't talk about being single because it's not. It's not cool, you know, it's not cool to be a single parent. Like, that's not sexy. I'm like, well, I'm not even 40 yet and I'm. I think of myself as attractive.
Jen Fessler
Yeah. To say least.
Kelly Bensimon
And they were like, no, no. Like you need to be a certain way and you need to have your hair blown out. I'm like, well, sometimes my hair gets blown out. Sometimes my hair is dirty for days.
Jen Fessler
Yeah. Welcome, welcome.
Kelly Bensimon
That's the trick, ladies.
Jen Fessler
So it's so funny when you see the brand thing because.
Kelly Bensimon
But it's just weird. I'm like, what brand? What are you talking about?
Jen Fessler
People. So I've had.
Kelly Bensimon
And that's how the show is about.
Jen Fessler
I don't like, like that's not on brand for me or I don't want to do or like with it. Even my endorsements, like, I don't want to do that. It's not on. I'm thinking, well, my brand is making money, so if you're gonna pay me, it's going to be on brand. And I'm sorry, I mean, I'm not, I don't. Not everything is for sale, but like the brand. I don't even know what that means.
Kelly Bensimon
I don't know what that means either. That does not. I mean, and believe me, I mean, I was the editor of multiple magazines. I think I know what's a brand and what's not a brand. And I can tell you that if someone's telling you that they have a brand, they don't have a brand.
Jen Fessler
Really? I love. So wait, no. So you think that's what happened with the Housewives with the new.
Kelly Bensimon
It was just like they were so. They were so caught up in what they thought they should. Should look like. And then they didn't realize that you're in high def television.
Jen Fessler
Right.
Kelly Bensimon
And every single facial expression, everything that you do is like magnified. So even if they thought they were being chic and cool, they came off crosses, like, totally douchey.
Jen Fessler
So funny because I also feel like they were maybe because they were trying to be on brand.
Kelly Bensimon
And I don't think they're being mean girls. I met them. I've met them.
Jen Fessler
I like a lot of them.
Kelly Bensimon
But I'm interrupting interrupt you for one thing. We did this thing at Page Six and I met a few of them. We were doing behind the scenes, like some tick tock stuff and we're supposed to be having fun. If you were behind the scenes with the core OG group of housewives, they would be literally clawing each other's eyes out to talk to the producer, get more time. They'd be like asking questions while the person was being interviewed by X, Y or Z person. They would be doing absolutely anything to get themselves out and about and to create as much drama so that they could be the talk of whatever that was.
Jen Fessler
Right.
Kelly Bensimon
These girls are like, in the corner. I do. Like, I literally, after I did my interview, I went to find them. They're sitting there, they're like, okay, bye. I was like, oh, okay, bye. Bye, guys.
Jen Fessler
Wow, that's so interesting. Like, what are you guys doing?
Kelly Bensimon
Like, let's go, let's. Like, even in the tick tock, I'm the. I mean, okay, I'm an inherently animated human, but I was like, I look like I am like, I don't know, like on the Mickey Mouse Club.
Jen Fessler
But don't you think that's because they are so. And I don't blame them. I was on Jersey for two seasons and I was in my head, like, not all, all the time, but a lot of the time, because it's a different time. Right? There is social media and we have, as newbies, watched those that came before us and seen what they've gone through and we've watched the pain that they've experienced.
Kelly Bensimon
See, I was never in my head because I'm not in my head. Well, like, you can see right now.
Jen Fessler
I'm not in my head because also I think that. Let's take you out of it. There's also. You didn't know what you were getting into. Well, they always keep you in it, but like, but I'm talking about OG New York. They didn't know. There was no precedent. So they were just getting up and getting drunk and fighting and having fun. It was so real. And now I think it's just, it's a different time because of social media. Obviously it is. So I think like, like, maybe personalities are a little more tempered and I am guilty of it as well. Right? I, I think that I did the best that I could to be authentic, but there was something about the OGs. I don't know.
Kelly Bensimon
And maybe you're on Housewives. You're not on Netflix, you're not on Lifetime. You're. You're on Housewives of New York. You are supposed to be in the most glamorous city doing the most glamorous things and interacting in a way that's so raw and real because that's what's sexy. About New York, like, when you watch Sex in the City, one of the reasons that we love Sex in the city, outside of the fashion, it was like, that was cute. We loved the rawness. We loved the realness. We loved. Even though it's not. That wasn't reality. That's what people.
Jen Fessler
That's what. That's the difference, you think, between old New York and New New York?
Kelly Bensimon
100%.
Jen Fessler
There's a rawness and a realness that is not there. And do you think that's because of the social media of it all?
Kelly Bensimon
I definitely think it's because of the social media, but I also think that it's because that these women are seeing so much, so much other programing, and they're trying to make themselves into a brand, and it doesn't happen like that. I mean, people like you because they just like you. Whether you're the prettiest girl, whether you're the ugliest girl, whether you're like, whatever it is, people just like people who are real, that they could be like, you know what? I'm like her. Oh, my God. I'm like her.
Jen Fessler
Yeah. No, I think that's so true. I think that's. And. And good, bad or ugly? Like, I think about Jersey, and I think about, like, Jersey was. Has been a success for so many years because good, bad or ugly, these women were who they are.
Kelly Bensimon
And the dynamic between the families.
Jen Fessler
Yes.
Kelly Bensimon
So.
Jen Fessler
But everyone says the families. The families. I. Yes, of course. But also, these women, it didn't matter, like, the cameras were up or the cameras were down. They loved each other or they hated each other, and there was no faking it. And I mean, it's.
Kelly Bensimon
You guys are a great cast. So when we were at Bravo Con, hanging out with you guys was so much fun. Like, you guys are, like, real. And, like, I remember meeting Joe Gorga the first time on a plane. I didn't even. I never met him before, and he was like, let me help you with your bag. He's a very. He's a very, very gentle human. Very really, really nice guy. Melissa. Like, I do a lot of stuff with her. Margaret Joseph's. I love her. We have a lot of friends in common. Yeah, she's a baller. I don't know if you like her.
Jen Fessler
I love Margaret.
Kelly Bensimon
I love her.
Jen Fessler
She's one of my closest friends.
Kelly Bensimon
And I just love how real she is and that she talks about everything that she does, she talks about. And I think that's really. I mean, it's really important, especially when you're you know, getting older, to be honest.
Jen Fessler
There's also. There's something about these characters, these humans. Dolores, Melissa, Margaret. It's these women and all of them, Jackie, Danielle, Rachel, Teresa, Jen got him. And like, forget someone and then who am I forgetting? Danielle, Teresa. Anyway, but these women are all. They're all. But they're all individually a little. They're all a little crazy, including me.
Kelly Bensimon
Well, it's the genesis of the, of the, of the show.
Jen Fessler
And they are. Yes.
Kelly Bensimon
You can't work with each other, you know, every single day and talk to each other and be filming to get with each other and talking and talking and filming and talking and filming and talking and filming and talking and filming. And it's like, oh, my worst reality.
Jen Fessler
Yeah. Yeah. What? But I think that it's. There's no, like, at some point Jersey just everybody said we're completely fucking crazy and we're just going to go with it. Like, there's no more. We can't pretend there's no brand. There's just. We are all a bunch of hot fudgeing messes. And. But that's. I think, I feel like that's what worked with New York, too. Like, there's no. I don't know what. Whatever. Whoever's trying to sell. Whatever they're trying to sell, whether it be eyelashes or toaster ovens. I don't know. But that's not what's interesting. Right. What's interesting is these women and the fact that they're messy and the fact that they actually, like in the moment, like they hate each other or they're laughing and they adore each other. That chemistry is hard to find. And I think that the OGs of New York did it perfectly and very hard to get that back.
Kelly Bensimon
I mean, I wouldn't say perfectly again. I think it's also what we have that's different, is that. That we get out of a taxi and you open that door and the volume of New York and the smell and it's just. It's very. Just authentically gritty. And so just before you've even walked into, you know, into like, you know, your cocktails or whatever, you have to really, like.
Jen Fessler
Yes.
Kelly Bensimon
Get through it. And so then you're like, okay, but that does.
Jen Fessler
Yes.
Kelly Bensimon
I'm going to be vulnerable.
Jen Fessler
Right. But there has to be commonality between New York. Think about it. So New York to Dubai, you guys are fancy. To Beverly Hills, you guys are fancy.
Kelly Bensimon
Your houses are beautiful.
Jen Fessler
No, but I'm saying, like, New York.
Kelly Bensimon
You guys are really Dressed well.
Jen Fessler
Jersey.
Kelly Bensimon
Yes. I mean, New York women are not well dressed. They're not. They don't come from a lot of money. They don't.
Jen Fessler
I don't know what. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What did you just say? Jersey notorious for being the worst dress.
Kelly Bensimon
I'm sorry. You guys always look great. You guys are always on point. You guys are always like. You guys are like the Kardashians of the Housewives are, like, driving.
Jen Fessler
Kelly, you are losing me fast. What are you talking about?
Kelly Bensimon
You guys are like in your Range Rovers, your gorgeous houses. You always dress. Hold on.
Jen Fessler
I agree that how. John, Jersey people have. We have beautiful homes. And I. I agree with you, but I'm telling you, you and I are the only ones that agree big and big. And people think that Jersey is the worst dress. The tackiest. No, that has to just do with the fact that, of course, it's like Jerseys. Known to be Jersey. It's Sopranos country. It's.
Kelly Bensimon
You know, I disagree. I think that you guys are all dressed seriously, like, we're like. I mean, New Yorkers. My guys. Hello. Do you guys have a job? Like, where's the cash?
Jen Fessler
What? Really?
Kelly Bensimon
I was like, oh, I'm rich.
Jen Fessler
I'm like, okay, well, Jersey, New York, California, O.C. beverly.
Kelly Bensimon
No.
Jen Fessler
It's a lot of showmanship, and there's not always a lot to back that up. So I think that's a. Housewives. Housewives are notorious for that.
Kelly Bensimon
But it's fun.
Jen Fessler
Yeah.
Kelly Bensimon
Someone like me, that's. I mean, that's another reason I love Beverly Hills is because I love. I love that, like, the women will go and be like, I'm gonna get a present for my daughter, and they, like, drop, like, 30 grand on themselves. I think that's amazing.
Jen Fessler
Right?
Kelly Bensimon
Like, I mean, I would never do that for my daughters. I mean, I'm like, you know, I want them to have, like, personal respect. And, like, if they want, they get a gift. I want them to, like, you know, be really, really excited about. I don't just, like, throw money at them.
Jen Fessler
Right.
Kelly Bensimon
But I love that as a viewer.
Jen Fessler
Watch it.
Kelly Bensimon
No, as a viewer, like, we.
Jen Fessler
I love to watch you up. Your kids. Just not my kids. Not for me.
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Jen Fessler
Let'S just like we're talking about Jersey and New York quickly. What do you see is the best scenario moving forward for both? Is it a mix of old and new? If so, is there anything specific you would like to.
Kelly Bensimon
I suggest definitely a mix between old and new. I mean, I know I go back. I've heard.
Jen Fessler
Of course, of course.
Kelly Bensimon
I mean now, now, not now. Because people have seen that, like, real is cool, like not real is uncool. Like, they're finally getting that.
Jen Fessler
Would you go back with your old cast? Would you go back with Bethany?
Kelly Bensimon
No. Ever? No. No.
Jen Fessler
I'm like, would you go back? Yes. Would you go back? No. Yeah. No.
Kelly Bensimon
And she can't film anyway. She's. But, you know, it's interesting because when. When I talked about the list that I sent to Andy, one person was like, oh, my God, she always calls Andy. That is not true. I've literally. I never call him. I don't even have a cell phone number. I texted him one time because his daughter was so unbelievably adorable. And then his. Another time I sent his. His. I sent them this, like, really cute teddy bear and his son is so cute. So, like, I never text about.
Jen Fessler
Well, by the way, I do know.
Kelly Bensimon
Never.
Jen Fessler
I do know that a lot of housewives do have his cell number and do text him. I mean, it's not like, not. I don't know what a regular. I don't know. I'm just saying I do have his cell number and I text him once and never again. Don't worry.
Kelly Bensimon
Do you have his photo? Do you have a photo of him?
Jen Fessler
Like, what do you mean? Like a.
Kelly Bensimon
Not like on your mantle. But do you have like a photo of you guys together?
Jen Fessler
Not framed, not for like, it's not like when People walk away.
Kelly Bensimon
I need to see all the photos of the people you have have like you next to side of all these famous people.
Jen Fessler
That's what you're talking about Because I'm a star and. Right. I was telling you my friend Shari, my best friend who's here right now, I was telling Kelly earlier. So Shari used to take me and are their best friend from college to the Grammys every year because Shari is Shari. And her husband is this big studio exec. And we used to go to the Grammys every year until literally, like, we were like maybe three or four years in chat. I don't remember. And there was a security guy and I guess he worked there year after year. Who And I would be. And he was like, I'm done. Like, he walked up to us and he was like, I know your game now. Like, this is like, this is after years of us going up.
Kelly Bensimon
No idea. You're like a gorgeous brunette.
Jen Fessler
I was not obvious. I was only eyes because I was so annoying. And I would, like go over and I would be like, screaming out like.
Kelly Bensimon
He had no choice. I'm dead.
Jen Fessler
All right, we digress. We digress.
Kelly Bensimon
No, I have a question for you.
Jen Fessler
Yes.
Kelly Bensimon
If you could get your photo taken with any housewife, who would it be?
Jen Fessler
I mean, look, Kelly Bensmo. Any housewife. Let me think. No, you know, it's like the. That if you asked me that four years ago, I mean, first of all, I would have just been in heaven. I would have just started drooling out of the left side of my mouth thinking about me getting a photo with, I don't know, Kyle Richards or, you know what? Okay, I know. I know because I was gonna say yeah. Yeah. Because. Yes. But I've gotten a few pictures now, so it's different. But if you ask me right now, the one that I haven't gotten in that I would give the most yes to take with.
Kelly Bensimon
Yes.
Jen Fessler
Lisa Vanderpump. I love me some Lisa Vanderbump.
Kelly Bensimon
I knew there was somebody. I knew it.
Jen Fessler
I knew die from her. I just did. The way her hair would just flip back and she was so everything. The lipstick was first of. I think she's. She's Jacqueline Smith.
Kelly Bensimon
I totally agree.
Jen Fessler
Right. She was the most beautiful and, like, maybe a little older than the rest of the cast.
Kelly Bensimon
Kate Jackson. Do people say that?
Jen Fessler
No. She was the least pretty of the angels. Don't take it.
Kelly Bensimon
Not true.
Jen Fessler
Yes. You're fair faucet. You know it. Anyway, so. Yeah, thanks. Thanks. H. I'm Kate James.
Kelly Bensimon
Everyone loves Kate Jackson.
Jen Fessler
Jackson.
Kelly Bensimon
She's hot. I thought she's hot. She is.
Jen Fessler
Yeah. She was, like, the brainiac. She wasn't the hot one, but whatever. Anyway. All right, so Ultimate Girls Trip, what.
Kelly Bensimon
Did you think of Ultimate Girls Trip?
Jen Fessler
I loved every second of it.
Kelly Bensimon
So did I. I really. It was such a great trip.
Jen Fessler
I thought it was so much fun to watch.
Kelly Bensimon
I was trying to tell them. I kept telling them, you guys, you're missing the narrative. I think this guy is going to ask me to get married. He's sent me all these love notes with photos that I was reading to Dorinda, and instead of following my lead, they were like, no, no, we're gonna try this to make this into Scary Island. I'm like, it didn't. It didn't work. So there was a lot of people that didn't even know what Scary island was. Then they were like, we're not.
Jen Fessler
Doesn't know what scary Island.
Kelly Bensimon
Well, because they just. They don't. I guess they don't want to know because they're like, oh, my God. It was such an iconic. And they're like. But one of my favorite, favorite, favorite moments on Ultimate Girls Trip is that we go and do this water therapy.
Jen Fessler
So I'm remembering. Yes.
Kelly Bensimon
Water therapy. And they're in, like, their bikinis. I'm like, I'm not gonna wear a bikini. I'm gonna wear a one piece. I literally was so warm, and I was in this velvet, blue velvet one.
Jen Fessler
Piece in the ocean. They were holding each other up or something.
Kelly Bensimon
And I. I'm, like, looking up with my eyes are closed, and I see the sun. And it's like these lips are trying to kiss me. And with the movement of the water, I was like, I am so wildly horny. I don't know what to do with myself. And I get out of the water. And first of all, the guy that was moving me around was just like a smoke show. I get out of the water. I was like, oh, my God. I'm like, this guy's so hot. And like, Luann and Dorinda, like, I love my mother. I'm like, my mother. I'm like, no, no, no, no. My mother was not in the water. I am so wildly horny. And they were looking at me like I had 15 heads that I didn't have a cathartic. So I didn't even get my own cathartic.
Jen Fessler
I. So. But I'm trying to wait. But I'm. I'm thinking, like, you just said that, like, they missed it. They missed the part where your boyfriend, your fiance at the time you were reading. I know you. I remember you reading the love letters from him. But were you already maybe not so much into him? And did we miss that?
Kelly Bensimon
Broken up?
Jen Fessler
You were about to get married.
Kelly Bensimon
I thought we were broken up. And then he was, like, really, really, really pushing.
Jen Fessler
They definitely didn't catch that because they were listening. No, I didn't get it. I got you and Kristen Takeman arguing.
Kelly Bensimon
Yeah, I mean, Kristen, we weren't arguing. I was actually like, tell me what the situation is. Let's talk it through. I mean, you. Can you sit there with her for hours? Hours?
Jen Fessler
Yeah.
Kelly Bensimon
My Kristen. Just please, can you say one thing, Please?
Jen Fessler
Okay. I want to ask you about something.
Kelly Bensimon
Frustrating to sit with her for hours.
Jen Fessler
You couldn't get it. So wait.
Kelly Bensimon
It's very frustrating.
Jen Fessler
While I'm on this, my head is.
Kelly Bensimon
She's a lovely human.
Jen Fessler
Yes.
Kelly Bensimon
But she just. She just.
Jen Fessler
You couldn't make it happen with her.
Kelly Bensimon
She'd be like, if you and I were in a scene talking, she would, like, leave and run upstairs and go talk to the camera. And I'm like. And do her own testimonial. I'm like, no, no, no, no.
Jen Fessler
We're in the middle.
Kelly Bensimon
We're here. We're. This is. This is what? This is the show right here.
Jen Fessler
I have a question for you. I have a very. Because you're a model and she's a model. I'm curious because you and I have touched on this a little bit personally, but, like, the modeling thing on Housewives. First of all, going into Housewives as a model, do you think that is a helper hindrance? And also, I know that modeling is. Can be tough for a lot of reasons, and you and I have spoken a little bit about this. But. But show me some parallels in terms of, like, I mean, industry and housewives.
Kelly Bensimon
Being on Housewives is super triggering for me. I don't know about for her, but for me, it was very triggering because, you know, I started modeling when I was so young, and people were like, you're fat, you're ugly. You're too tall. Your hair's too short, your boobs are too big. You're. You're too this, you're too that. It was just a constant, constant, constant every single day. You're just never good enough. And so when I went on Housewives and, like, I will never forget the first day, Ramona center called me a scarecrow. And I was like, a scarecrow. And then she's like, yeah, you have no brains. I'm like, I'm the most educated person here, but it's fine.
Jen Fessler
Do you go to Columbia?
Kelly Bensimon
Columbia? And I'm like, okay, but your guys are, you know, you're just so great, and you're so smart.
Jen Fessler
You didn't talk about that enough that you went to Columbia.
Kelly Bensimon
It's none of your business. Not your business. But they're like, part.
Jen Fessler
It was my business. I was a viewer.
Kelly Bensimon
I wanted to be like. And so this is my education, just being berated and having them belittle me as, you know, as a way of making them bigger. And listen, you know, for me, I've always been the kind of person, it's kinetic energy. If you're good, I'm good, and then we're going to be better. But if you're not good, and then I'm good, and I try to make you feel bad or gaslight you or doing whatever. Whatever they were doing, it just. It's very unsettling. And, like, a lot of the viewers were like. I mean, to this day, they're like, we are so sorry. I'm like, well, you don't have to apologize. But they're just like, we're so sorry. And, you know, it was really, really, really hard. That's why for me to even be vulnerable in a relationship was almost impossible. I would meet guys and go on dates with them, and I'd be like, all they want to do is go out with a housewife. All they do is want to go out with someone. That's crazy. All they do is want to go out with a model. All they want to do. They. I never, ever thought that they wanted to, like, meet Kelly. I just always assumed and always had my.
Jen Fessler
About you. You think that was about you?
Kelly Bensimon
But, I mean, I was also conditioned from my modeling years coupled with being housewives. I mean, just constantly having that reminder really affected me. Really, really affected me.
Jen Fessler
I'm thinking about it now as you're saying it, like walking into. To a cast, Housewives cast. And I'm thinking about this with Brandi Glanville for whatever reason. But, like, when a woman comes in who is model esque, I think that there's a weird energy. There's a weird flow of energy. And I think that it's probably happened with Brandy. I think it probably happened with you. I don't know if you agree with me or not, but I don't know if anybody's ever walked onto Jersey that's been model esque. I'm trying to think of some of the other franchises, but it could be intimidating. And I think in. If you put that in a housewife setting, like, it's already, like, gonna spark a bit of jealousy, a bit of competition. Right. Do you feel like that? Like, just because of the fact that you're. You are a model, that already put you maybe at a little bit of a disadvantage, potentially.
Kelly Bensimon
It did. And I think that they thought that because I was a model, I was going to have this thick skin. But, you know, I was like, oh, I'm from Illinois. They're like, yeah, you're from Illinois. I'm like, no, no, I am from Rockford, Illinois. Like, the way you speak about people, this way you speak to people. I was not raised like that, and I don't understand that. And I'm not going to speak that language. I'm going to speak my language, and if you don't come to me, that's your problem. And then people were starting to be, like, nicer and more real and more open and more just real. Because I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And I just didn't. Doesn't matter if I work in New York. I still don't communicate like that. And I'm not going to start.
Jen Fessler
I think about. No, I'm just. I just think it's so interesting. I think about the other franchises and just about how. Especially when someone new enters who is even. Maybe. I mean, I think about Jenna Lyons, who's. Her career, but she wasn't new. They all came in at the same time, but could have been intimidating or. But like models. I feel like in particular, particularly, she also.
Kelly Bensimon
Jenna has. And she always has, whether she was at, you know, J. Crew when she first got there, when I was at Hamptons before I was in Elle, she's always been a very striking, confident person. We didn't know that she had certain things that were going on in her life, of course. But the way that she presents herself, and we talk about that a lot now, is about the.
Jen Fessler
Your.
Kelly Bensimon
Your.
Jen Fessler
Your.
Kelly Bensimon
The way that you present. She presents herself as a very, very confident person.
Jen Fessler
Yeah, but I'm. I'm. Yes, all of that.
Kelly Bensimon
But people say that. I do like that, too. I mean, just because I'm wearing heels and like, you know, 7ft tall doesn't necessarily mean that I'm. I'm feeling.
Jen Fessler
I just think that in Housewives, I.
Kelly Bensimon
Could be feeling like.
Jen Fessler
I know, but I think that not just House. Housewives is a microcosm. Right. Of sort of of the rest of the world and how we all work and we all spin around each other. But I feel like there's something about a really tall, beautiful, model esque woman that is probably makes it a little more difficult. Not always, but I just think sometimes. And I think maybe, maybe in your case, maybe in Brandy's case, I think that the dynamics maybe shift a little bit and maybe it makes it harder. Do you agree?
Kelly Bensimon
Well, I think that there's. I think that there has always been this idea that if you are pretty, things are easier for you. And it's not necessarily true.
Jen Fessler
No.
Kelly Bensimon
I mean, you can open that someone can open the door for you, but you still have to walk through. Like, you know, okay, the door's open, but you can't make it through. Like, okay, how are you successful?
Jen Fessler
Right.
Kelly Bensimon
You know, you're. It's so. It's, it's really, you know, it's, it's. It's the life that you make. And, you know, it's really nice that people like the way that I look and I appreciate that. And Botox makes me even prettier, but.
Jen Fessler
I. Yeah, well, Botox makes all of.
Kelly Bensimon
Us and looks and. Yeah, but I'm kidding. But I really, really appreciate that so much. So much.
Jen Fessler
And no, I just think it's so interesting. And I think that also probably happens with women that. Come on. That are, let's say, way wealthier than the rest. Right. There is. As an audience member, which is what I mainly am. Right. And I see if I see a cast and someone comes on like Caroline Stansberry. Right. Dubai, when I watch Dubai. Although they're all actually ridiculously wealthy, so that doesn't even apply. Trying to think of like Orange County.
Kelly Bensimon
It's just interesting the way that you talk about yourself and say that you're like the. You, you, you, you present. Like we were talking about that before. You present as the observer, but you're the participant. That is not good.
Jen Fessler
I mean, I present. You have to have both.
Kelly Bensimon
You have to allow yourself to be the person.
Jen Fessler
I know I am, I am, but I always have to also, like, qualify. Like, I'm not. I'm a friend of a house. If I'm a two year friend of. I've been in this world.
Kelly Bensimon
Yes, you're on your. I appreciate that.
Jen Fessler
That is true. But I am. I have been a fan for so long, so it's a very weird thing. At age 53, that's when I went on the Housewives of New Jersey.
Kelly Bensimon
I love that.
Jen Fessler
I have watched all of that, you know, I've been a crazy housewives fanatic for so many years, so maybe it like the heart of me. That's how I feel. I feel both.
Kelly Bensimon
Right.
Jen Fessler
But that will always be there, you know? But like, I love that it is what it is. But like, I was thinking about just.
Kelly Bensimon
Now apprec that you are open enough to be like, I'm. I was a huge fan. I mean, a lot of these women who are. That's. I think.
Jen Fessler
No, I don't get that. So stupid.
Kelly Bensimon
No, no. I think that that's actually a really, really strong point, is that a lot of the New York women, they were such massive fans, they thought this was going to be a launching pad for them. And instead of really, really, like digging deep and really reveling in being a housewife, they were on the periphery and it made. Made the fans very uncomfortable.
Jen Fessler
No, I think that's probably pretty accurate.
Kelly Bensimon
It's not that they're. It's mean. It's more than just not resonating. It made fans very uncomfortable.
Jen Fessler
Yeah.
Kelly Bensimon
In fact, instead of fans feeling like they're in the conversation, they just felt very isolated.
Jen Fessler
Yeah, I could see that. Yeah.
Kelly Bensimon
And that's why they love to watch.
Jen Fessler
I mean, I was a fan and when I went into it, though, I'm not gonna say that I was never in my head, but I don't. I know that I really tried not to be. In most moments I wasn't. But there were times, because I've been a fan for so long, you know, that you're seeing. You're in a scene, but you're also. There's that little part of you that floats above and remembers very like, very specifically what it's like to be a viewer of the scene. So it's. It's a little tricky.
Kelly Bensimon
Don't throw a table.
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Jen Fessler
So you would go back to Housewives. You would return. You already gave me that answer. You said, absolutely, yes.
Kelly Bensimon
Yeah. I always think it's a good. I mean, I had never. I always said since day one, I would never say no. The only reason that I left, when I left in 2011, is because they were bringing back someone that I could not film with.
Jen Fessler
And I just gotta really play coy right now. I just was like, her name, schmenkel. Okay?
Kelly Bensimon
I was like, no, that's not happening. I'm not. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna have someone be a liability around me. It's not happening.
Jen Fessler
So interesting. You know what? Everything that happened with her with Jersey, and I have no idea. She was talking about Teresa and for whatever reason and said that no one. Jersey was a train wreck of a show. No one would ever go on it if they weren't broke. And once they did make money, they would just get off of it. And I was like, what? Like, we'll say what. Like, first of all, you were on a franchise, and I know you went on a quote, unquote broke.
Kelly Bensimon
She wasn't broke. She went to a very expensive college. She wasn't broke.
Jen Fessler
I know.
Kelly Bensimon
I mean, I know more about her now because all of the guys or went on dates with told me everything about her, which was really fascinating. Can you imagine going on a date and some guy being like, oh, my God, let me tell you about her. I'm like, I met her.
Jen Fessler
I know her.
Kelly Bensimon
I'm like, done. I'm like, dinner's over. Yeah.
Jen Fessler
Yeah. You guys had that guy recently who she was dating or something that dated you or something like that, right?
Kelly Bensimon
Yeah, whatever.
Jen Fessler
All right. It's for another episode anyway.
Kelly Bensimon
But I do think. I do. You know, it's actually a shame because, you know, had I had that. Had that not have happened, I would have. I would have continued on Housewives. I would have continued. I would.
Jen Fessler
Here's the good news.
Kelly Bensimon
One of my favorite trips, Luanna, I had the best time ever.
Jen Fessler
That was my trip to Ireland that I had on season 13 was one of the best times I've ever.
Kelly Bensimon
I mean, some of the trips are so unbelievable.
Jen Fessler
But here's the good news. I don't.
Kelly Bensimon
I mean, even.
Jen Fessler
Don't even say that. Scary island.
Kelly Bensimon
A scary island. There are parts of it. There are amazing. And then there was an issue. Knew that happened between. Between us. And I just was like, I. I made a choice of the wellness of a family versus, like, I was just. I can't.
Jen Fessler
We're gonna launch into this.
Kelly Bensimon
I can't do.
Jen Fessler
We have.
Kelly Bensimon
I know we're not launching into anything.
Jen Fessler
Hold on. But let me just say one thing. I don't feel like Bethany's coming back, so now would be a perfect time. I feel like probably not going to be on the Housewives again.
Kelly Bensimon
No, she can't be.
Jen Fessler
But let me just propose this. Andy Cohen, if you're listening, Ultimate Girls Trip, Jen Fessler, Kelly. Or even better, Ultimate Girls Trip are the best trips of all trips or whatever.
Kelly Bensimon
Well, first of all, because you get to go on trips with all these other housewives you never get to meet.
Jen Fessler
So fun.
Kelly Bensimon
And it is amazing.
Jen Fessler
So fun. I would love to do that.
Kelly Bensimon
And everybody and everyone gets to tell which is. Which was. Which was great for me is that like, even on Ultimate Girls trip, I did not film with Dorinda, and I got to really know her and she, you know, told me what was happening and all this stuff. And, you know, I. I had a, you know, I. I mean, she's a very funny human.
Jen Fessler
I love that woman. I love that woman.
Kelly Bensimon
And smart and charismatic.
Jen Fessler
Talk about the ultimate housewife.
Kelly Bensimon
Yeah.
Jen Fessler
All right, Kelly, I love you. Love you guys. Love me some Kelly, Ben, Simone.
Kelly Bensimon
Love you.
Jen Fessler
See you next time. Bye, guys.
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Hes Yu Jo
I think a lot of people think that you're supposed to be going to therapy once you're, like, having panic attacks every day. But before you get to that point, I think once you start even noticing that you feel a little bit off and you can't maintain this harmony that you once had in relationships, that could be a sign that maybe you want to go talk to somebody. There's always a benefit in talking to someone because we can all benefit from improved insight about ourselves and who we are and how we behave with other people. So if you're human, that's like a good indicator that you could benefit from talking to somebody.
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Podcast Summary: Two Jersey Js: Scary Island No More
Episode Title: Two Jersey Js: Scary Island No More
Release Date: April 24, 2025
Hosts: Jen Fessler and Kelly Bensimon
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts
In this lively episode of Two Jersey Js, hosts Jen Fessler and Kelly Bensimon dive deep into their experiences on reality TV, particularly focusing on their time on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." Filmed live from the picturesque Napa Valley, the duo shares candid stories, reflections, and humorous anecdotes that provide listeners with an insider's perspective on the glamorous yet tumultuous world of reality television.
Jen begins the conversation by introducing Kelly, highlighting their friendship forged through mutual appearances at events like the iHeartRadio red carpet and movie premieres. They reminisce about their encounters, emphasizing the authentic connection they've developed outside the scripted reality TV environment.
Jen Fessler (01:32):
"Kelly Bensmoan, I'm sure, to most of you, but to me is iconic. So Kelly goes back on New York Housewives..."
Kelly Bensimon (05:01):
"Housewives is a really, really fun dynamic."
Kelly opens up about the challenges of filming reality TV, especially the lack of control over personal narratives. She recounts her experience with producers manipulating interviews to create specific storylines, leading to misunderstandings and tensions between cast members.
Kelly Bensimon (04:25):
"What happened was much fun. As Housewives. No, Housewives is a really, really fun dynamic."
Jen Fessler (07:06):
"Kelly, hold on. No, no. Kelly, hold on."
The hosts discuss the behind-the-scenes reality of maintaining genuine relationships amidst the pressures of constant filming and scripted drama, contrasting it with their more relaxed interactions at events.
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the evolution of reality TV, particularly the shift from authenticity to branding influenced by social media. Kelly criticizes the newer seasons of "The Real Housewives of New York," arguing that the focus on personal brands detracts from genuine interactions and creates an uncomfortable viewing experience for fans.
Kelly Bensimon (12:52):
"I think one of the reasons that the reboot does not resonated is because women are so focused on their brands..."
Jen Fessler (18:19):
"There's a rawness and a realness that is not there. And do you think that's because of the social media of it all?"
They lament that the newer casts prioritize marketable personas over authentic personalities, leading to a loss of the show's original charm and relatability.
Jen brings up the unique challenges faced by models like Kelly when participating in reality TV. The conversation delves into how Kelly's modeling background both helps and hinders her interactions on the show, with issues of intimidation and competition arising from differing professional experiences.
Jen Fessler (36:07):
"I think about the other franchises and just about how... Especially when someone new enters who is even. Maybe..."
Kelly Bensimon (37:04):
"It did. And I think that they thought that because I was a model, I was going to have this thick skin..."
Kelly shares her struggles with being perceived solely through her physical appearance, emphasizing that true strength lies in personal resilience rather than external validation.
Transitioning to lighter topics, Jen and Kelly discuss their experiences on "Ultimate Girls Trip," highlighting memorable moments like the "water therapy" session. Kelly humorously recounts her discomfort with bikinis, revealing her personal boundaries and reactions during the show's therapeutic exercises.
Kelly Bensimon (30:25):
"And I get out of the water. And first of all, the guy that was moving me around was just like a smoke show..."
This segment underscores the blend of professionalism and personal vulnerability required when participating in reality-based therapy sessions on television.
The hosts delve into the complexities of maintaining genuine relationships while being part of a reality TV cast. Kelly reflects on the difficulties of fostering authentic connections, citing her strained interactions with fellow cast member Bethany and the challenges of public perception.
Kelly Bensimon (35:54):
"But, I mean, I was also conditioned from my modeling years coupled with being housewives. I mean, just constantly having that reminder really affected me."
This highlights the emotional toll and personal growth required to navigate the often superficial relationships cultivated on reality TV.
Towards the end of the episode, Jen and Kelly discuss their aspirations and the potential directions for "The Real Housewives" franchises. They express a desire for a balance between old authenticity and new branding strategies, advocating for a return to the show's roots of genuine camaraderie and real-life drama.
Kelly Bensimon (26:08):
"I suggest definitely a mix between old and new."
They also contemplate the possibility of returning to the franchise, weighing the benefits of continuing their presence on television against the personal challenges it entails.
Jen and Kelly wrap up the episode by reaffirming their bond and shared experiences, both on and off-camera. They express gratitude for their friendship and the platform that allowed them to share their stories, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.
Jen Fessler (47:15):
"Love you. See you next time. Bye, guys."
Jen Fessler (05:58):
"But Kelly and I, just for the listeners... we have become friends."
Kelly Bensimon (12:22):
"No. It was just like they were so caught up in what they thought they should. Should look like."
Jen Fessler (21:02):
"Yeah. What? But I think that that's what worked with New York, too."
Kelly Bensimon (37:44):
"It does. And I think that they thought that because I was a model, I was going to have this thick skin."
Jen Fessler (42:08):
"We have completely fucking crazy and we're just going to go with it."
This episode of Two Jersey Js offers an insightful and unfiltered look into the lives of reality TV participants, exploring themes of authenticity, personal growth, and the evolving landscape of television fame. Through their engaging dialogue, Jen and Kelly provide listeners with a nuanced understanding of the pressures and rewards that come with being on reality TV, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.
Note: Advertisements from T-Mobile, Talkspace, and BetterHelp were present in the transcript but were excluded from this summary to maintain focus on the episode's content.