Podcast Summary: Two Jersey Js: SOs & XOs

Podcast Information:

• Title: Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
• Description: Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge team up to tell all. Listen each week as they watch and rehash as only they can. Who knows housewives better than housewives?! Right?! Teddi and Tamra are Two Ts in a Pod (Telling All).
• Episode: Two Jersey Js: SOs & XOs
• Release Date: February 12, 2025

1. Introduction & Guest Welcome

Timestamp: [11:47]

The episode kicks off with hosts Teddi Mellencamp (Jackie Goldschneider) and Tamra Judge (Jennifer Fessler) welcoming their guests, Jeff and Evan Fessler. They warmly introduce Jeff and Evan as "handsome husbands" and express their excitement for the discussion centered around Valentine's Day and long-term relationships.

Notable Quote:

• Teddi (Jackie): "All right, well, welcome to our handsome husbands, Jeff and Evan. Thank you guys for being here."
  [11:50]

2. How Jeff and Teddi Met

Timestamp: [12:06] - [17:50]

Jackie shares the origin story of how she and Jeff met through a professional lunch-arranged dating service called "Just Lunch" in 1997. Initially hesitant and unsuccessful in establishing a romantic connection, Jackie recounts her persistence and eventual realization of her feelings for Jeff after a series of encounters and mutual support.

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie: "When you see Evan, my first thought is, that guy would never like me."
  [20:29]

• Jeff: "When I saw Evan, I realized something real was happening."
  [22:08]

3. Early Relationship Challenges and Growth

Timestamp: [17:25] - [30:09]

The conversation delves into the early stages of Jeff and Teddi's relationship, highlighting moments of doubt, personal challenges, and the decision to commit to each other despite initial setbacks. They discuss their first dates, the decision to get engaged quickly, and the influence of supportive mentors and family members in strengthening their bond.

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie: "Once I realized, I wanted to get knocked up before I wanted to nail him in."
  [30:09]

• Jeff: "Our wedding was beautiful, but we both have things we'd like to change in hindsight."
  [35:01]

4. Navigating Valentine's Day and Romantic Traditions

Timestamp: [37:33] - [44:25]

Teddi and Jeff discuss their approaches to Valentine's Day, emphasizing simplicity over grand gestures due to their busy family lives. They share their traditions of exchanging cards and chocolates instead of elaborate dinners, adapting to their roles as parents and professionals.

Notable Quotes:

• Jeff: "We don’t do much. We just give cards and chocolates."
  [38:34]

• Teddi: "More important than what he looks like, more important than what he does, is that he is a nice guy."
  [59:31]

5. Maintaining Love and Communication in Long-Term Relationships

Timestamp: [39:33] - [54:37]

The guests delve into strategies for sustaining love over decades, focusing on communication, mutual respect, and prioritizing each other amidst life's chaos. They share personal anecdotes about overcoming disputes, the importance of saying "I love you," and finding time for each other despite demanding schedules.

Notable Quotes:

• Jeff: "Don't let little fights turn into big fights. Put it to bed quickly."
  [60:55]

• Evan: "Remember all the good stuff and key things. Let the waves of minor disputes pass."
  [62:17]

6. Overcoming Separation and Strengthening the Marriage

Timestamp: [40:04] - [43:22]

Jackie recounts a challenging period when she and Jeff were separated for a year and a half. This separation, though difficult, ultimately deepened their appreciation for each other and reinforced their commitment, leading to a stronger and more resilient marriage.

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie: "Everything changed after our separation for the better."
  [40:28]

• Jeff: "What you have now is rock solid, even after going through separation."
  [43:22]

7. Reflections on Divorce and Marriage Stability

Timestamp: [52:42] - [66:24]

The conversation shifts to the topic of divorce, with Jackie sharing her personal experience as a child of multiple divorces and how it shaped her views on marriage. Jeff adds insights from his brief stint as a divorce lawyer, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a loving and stable family environment for the sake of their children.

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie: "I don't advocate for staying married no matter what, but we were lucky to make it work."
  [65:14]

• Jeff: "Don't let anything from the outside world fuck that up. Your family is your safe place."
  [62:47]

8. Advice for Couples on Building Lasting Relationships

Timestamp: [54:37] - [66:24]

Jeff, Evan, and Jackie provide heartfelt advice to couples striving for long-term happiness. They stress the importance of communication, choosing partners who are genuinely kind ("a mensch"), and not letting external pressures undermine the relationship. They also highlight the significance of shared experiences and prioritizing the relationship over trivial disagreements.

Notable Quotes:

• Evan: "The biggest thing is to communicate. If you have feelings, let them out."
  [59:00]

• Jeff: "Everything else can change, but your inner bond should remain strong."
  [60:55]

9. Celebrating Love and Moving Forward

Timestamp: [67:06] - [68:40]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and guests discuss how they celebrate love beyond Valentine's Day, including solo self-love traditions and Galentine's Day gatherings with friends. They share plans for future celebrations and emphasize the joy found in maintaining meaningful connections with loved ones.

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie: "I took myself out to lunch. It was fabulous."
  [67:57]

• Jeff: "Happy Valentine's Day from two Jersey Jays."
  [68:35]

10. Conclusion

Timestamp: [68:40]

The episode concludes with warm farewells and well-wishes for Valentine's Day, reinforcing the themes of love, communication, and enduring partnerships. The hosts thank Jeff and Evan for their participation and encourage listeners to cherish their relationships.

Key Takeaways:

• Communication is Vital: Open and honest dialogue helps prevent misunderstandings and resolves conflicts before they escalate.
• Appreciate Your Partner: Regularly expressing love and appreciation strengthens the emotional bond between partners.
• Choose Kindness: Selecting a partner who is genuinely kind and supportive lays the foundation for a lasting relationship.
• Adapt and Grow Together: Embracing changes and growing together as a couple ensures resilience through life's challenges.
• Prioritize Relationship Time: Despite busy schedules, carving out time for each other is essential for maintaining intimacy and connection.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Jackie: "If you know Jeff Essler, I mean, you two, do you know that is not a Jeff Fessler thing to say?"
  [14:50]

• Jeff: "We couldn't make it happen. Neither one of us really wanted to go to the lawyer."
  [41:38]

• Evan: "When you're single, you're like 100% selfish. When you get married before you have kids, it's like 50% selfish."
  [50:41]

• Jackie: "He is such a mensch. He's such a good person."
  [59:31]

• Jeff: "Don't let little fights turn into big fights. Put it to bed quickly."
  [60:55]

This episode of "Two Jersey Js: SOs & XOs" offers an intimate exploration of sustaining love over the years, highlighting personal stories, challenges, and invaluable advice for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Listeners gain insights into the Fessler's enduring partnership, making it a relatable and enriching listen for anyone navigating the complexities of long-term love.