Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly – Episode Summary: "Selling Love: The Business of On-Line Dating"

Release Date: June 28, 2025
Host: Terry O’Reilly
Network: Apostrophe Podcast Network

Introduction to Love and Matchmaking

Terry O'Reilly opens the episode by diving into the historical and philosophical underpinnings of love, referencing Plato's "Symposium" and the humorous yet profound tale by Aristophanes about the origins of human desire and the perpetual search for a soulmate. This foundational narrative sets the stage for exploring how humanity's quest for connection has evolved into a thriving business.

[03:11] Terry O'Reilly: "Love is born into every human being. It calls back the halves of our original nature together. It tries to make one out of two."

The Dawn of Computer Matchmaking

The conversation transitions to the advent of computer-assisted matchmaking. Terry recounts early attempts at computerized dating, highlighting the initial endeavors at Stanford University in 1959, where students experimented with matching individuals using punch cards and mainframe computers. Although these early matches didn't flourish, they laid the groundwork for future innovations.

Joan Ball emerges as a pivotal figure in this narrative. In 1964, Ball successfully launched the St. James Computer Dating Service in London, utilizing insights from clients' "do not want" preferences to facilitate more meaningful matches. Her unconventional approach and savvy use of pirate radio advertising—[06:31] Kristen: "You're under the influence."—allowed her service to thrive despite societal skepticism.

[06:49] Terry O'Reilly: "Joan Ball didn't ask her clients what they wanted. She asked them what they didn't want. Matching people according to their do not want list was a remarkable insight."

The Evolution and Expansion of Dating Services

Terry outlines the exponential growth of computer dating, citing Operation Match at Harvard University, which expanded rapidly from 49 to 90,000 participants within a year. This surge underscored the public's growing acceptance and enthusiasm for online matchmaking.

He further explores the transition from computer dating to internet-based services, emphasizing the transformative impact of the internet on the dating industry. [12:03] Kristen: "Yes?" marks a segue into discussing You've Got Mail, the film that played a crucial role in destigmatizing online dating by portraying it as a viable means to find love.

Match.com: Pioneering Online Dating

Terry delves into the origins of Match.com, founded in 1994 by a frustrated individual seeking a more efficient way to find a date compared to expensive telephone services. Launched in 1995, Match.com distinguished itself by creating a safe and welcoming environment for women, offering anonymous email addresses to enhance privacy and comfort.

[17:47] Terry O'Reilly: "Do you make it romantic? Do you make it quick? Do you make it meaningful? Or do you make it a game? The answer appears to be yes."

Innovative Marketing Strategies: Ryan Reynolds and Hinge

The episode highlights creative marketing campaigns that have propelled dating services into the mainstream. One notable example is Match.com's collaboration with actor Ryan Reynolds and his company, Maximum Effort, resulting in the humorous "A Match Made in Hell" commercial. This ad cleverly personified the tumultuous year 2020 as a matchmaking opportunity, garnering over 11.8 million views.

Transitioning to another major player, Hinge is presented as a dating app with a unique mission: to be deleted once users find their match. Jordan McLeod's story of overcoming personal heartbreak to create Hinge underscores the app's commitment to fostering meaningful connections. The campaign’s mascot, Hingey, and the interactive billboard strategy significantly boosted Hinge's visibility and user base.

[28:28] Kristen: "Because when our users hit it off, we bite the dust and we're thrilled to death about it."

The Rise of Swipe Culture: Tinder's Gamification

Terry explores Tinder's innovative swiping mechanism, born from a founder's playful moment in the shower, which transformed dating into a game-like experience. Launched in 2012, Tinder capitalized on the mobile app trend, promoting quick hookups and casual relationships through its simple yet addictive swipe right/left interface.

[23:50] Kristen: "Why do tomatoes keep trying to convince us that they're a fruit and not a vegetable?"

The app's marketing often emphasizes the immediacy and spontaneity of connections, as seen in their relatable commercials that depict users navigating the complexities of modern romance with humor and authenticity.

Niche Dating Sites: Catering to Every Preference

The episode underscores the diversification of the online dating market, with specialty sites catering to specific interests and demographics. From Christian Mingle and FarmersOnly.com to CatPersonals.com and ParanormalDate.com, Terry illustrates how personalization has become key to capturing various segments of the market.

Impact and Economics of Online Dating

Terry presents compelling statistics to illustrate the vastness of the online dating industry. With over 1 in 10 people having used an online dating service, and the market valued at nearly $7 billion globally, the demand for digital matchmaking solutions is undeniable. He notes the significant revenues generated by giants like Match.com, which dominates the industry by acquiring numerous competitors and reporting revenues exceeding $2 billion.

Conclusion: The Enduring Quest for Connection

Wrapping up, Terry reflects on the enduring human desire for connection and how the online dating industry continues to adapt and thrive by leveraging technology and innovative marketing. The personal stories, historical insights, and market analyses presented throughout the episode illuminate the intricate dance between love and commerce in the digital age.

[21:46] Terry O'Reilly: "Love in the time of COVID has made online dating surge, pandemic or not, there will always be people searching for their other half, searching for that special person to complete them."

Notable Quotes

• [03:11] Terry O'Reilly: "Love is born into every human being. It calls back the halves of our original nature together. It tries to make one out of two."

• [06:49] Terry O'Reilly: "Joan Ball didn't ask her clients what they wanted. She asked them what they didn't want. Matching people according to their do not want list was a remarkable insight."

• [17:47] Terry O'Reilly: "Do you make it romantic? Do you make it quick? Do you make it meaningful? Or do you make it a game? The answer appears to be yes."

• [28:28] Kristen: "Because when our users hit it off, we bite the dust and we're thrilled to death about it."

• [21:46] Terry O'Reilly: "Love in the time of COVID has made online dating surge, pandemic or not, there will always be people searching for their other half, searching for that special person to complete them."

Production Credits

• Producer: Debbie O'Reilly
• Sound Engineer: Jeff Devine
• Theme Music: Ari Prince, Posner, and Ian LeFever
• Research: Abby Forsythe

Further Listening

If you enjoyed this episode, you might also like:

• "Put It Between Your Knees and Squeeze" – Season 7, Episode 1
• "Marketing a Fad"

Check out our archives on your preferred podcast platform and follow Terry on Twitter and Instagram.

This summary is crafted to provide a comprehensive overview of the episode "Selling Love: The Business of On-Line Dating," ensuring clarity and engagement for both regular listeners and newcomers.