The Soldier | Chapter 1

Summary

Unfit for Service: Episode 1 - The Soldier | Chapter 1

Hosted by Eric Marcus | Production by Wavland and Vespucci

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Introduction

In the premiere episode of Unfit for Service, host Eric Marcus delves into the compelling and untold story of Captain Randy Taylor, a dedicated soldier whose unwavering patriotism was shadowed by secretive struggles within the U.S. Army. This episode sets the stage for an 8-episode series that explores the intersection of military service and personal identity under the restrictive "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) policy.

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Randy Taylor: A Soldier's Beginning

[02:51] Narrator:
The episode opens in 1992 Eastern Africa, painting a vivid picture of Randy Taylor and his troops navigating the volatile environment of Somalia. Randy, a seasoned captain, is thrust into life-threatening situations, balancing the protection of civilians with the looming threat of local warlords.

Notable Quote:
Randy Taylor [03:25]: "We had enough intelligence to know that another big slaughter was coming that night."

This scene underscores Randy's commitment and the constant peril faced by soldiers in conflict zones.

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The Burden of Secrecy

As the narrative unfolds, Eric Marcus introduces the core conflict of Randy’s life: serving honorably while concealing his true identity as a gay man. The DADT policy forced Randy and countless others to live in secrecy, fostering an environment of paranoia and isolation.

[07:58] Narrator:
"Randy Taylor faces another battle for which he's had no training, no support. This fight leaves him even more isolated than on that dirt track in Somalia in 1992."

Randy Taylor [06:18]:
"I needed to stay calm and to stay alert and to be ready. This was keeping me and the few people I was with a lot."

Randy’s adherence to duty is poignantly highlighted, emphasizing the emotional toll of hiding his true self.

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Personal Struggles and Early Life

The episode transitions to Randy’s formative years in Lorain, Ohio, detailing a turbulent family life marked by his abusive stepfather, Fred. These early experiences of violence and responsibility fostered Randy's resilience but also sowed the seeds of his later struggles with identity and acceptance.

[13:18] Randy Taylor:
"I have so many memories of Brett. Memories of him dressed up in his little Little League uniform, playing baseball and just being, you know, a hot shot on the ball field."

[17:01] Randy Taylor:
"He'd have a friend or relative over and they'd be in the kitchen having coffee and talking about, you know, last week at the Ford plant. And I refill somebody's coffee and he says, oh yeah, you make a fine wife for somebody."

These reflections reveal Randy's longing for normalcy and the pivotal role his family dynamics played in shaping his character.

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Joining the Boy Scouts: An Escape and an Inspiration

Seeking solace from his troubled home life, Randy joins the Boy Scouts, which becomes a sanctuary where he discovers camaraderie, structure, and a taste for adventure. This involvement not only provided an escape but also ignited his passion for leadership and service.

[17:37] Randy Taylor:
"I joined the Boy Scouts and that was just another world where I started to see, like, how people treated each other and just like how other fathers interacted with their sons and their son's friends."

The Scouts experience laid the foundation for Randy's future military aspirations, highlighting the importance of mentorship and communal support in his development.

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Enlisting in the US Army: A Step Towards Purpose

In 1982, Randy enlists in the US Army, embarking on a journey that would span nearly four decades. The program details the stringent policies of the time, specifically the DADT policy that explicitly barred openly gay individuals from serving, framing them as a threat to military cohesion and security.

[23:35] Narrator:
"Homophobia and violence with deadly consequences."

The episode contrasts Randy’s desire for honor and service with the oppressive military policies, setting up the internal and external conflicts he would face.

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Alan Schindler: A Tragic Parallel

To underscore the harsh realities of DADT, the episode introduces Alan Schindler, a Navy radioman whose life ended brutally due to his sexual orientation. Alan’s story serves as a grim illustration of the dangers faced by gay service members and the lethal consequences of enforced secrecy.

Notable Quote:
Narrator [27:33]:
"The autopsy said it was the same as if a person had been stomped to death by a horse or been in a low-speed aircraft accident."

Alan’s tragic death is juxtaposed with Randy’s ongoing battle, highlighting the extreme risks and sacrifices inherent in living under such discriminatory policies.

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Randy's Personal Life and Marriage

Amidst his military career, Randy finds solace and love with Martina, a German au pair and kindergarten teacher. Their whirlwind romance and subsequent marriage represent Randy’s yearning for a traditional family life, a stark contrast to the isolation imposed by his hidden identity.

[36:03] Narrator:
"It's everything Randy thought he wanted."

Randy Taylor [36:47]:
"I always imagined myself being with a loving wife, beautiful wife that I ended up having. I was married to an incredibly nice person in every way."

This segment explores Randy’s internal conflict between his public duties and private desires, deepening the emotional complexity of his character.

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Climactic Moment: The Berlin Wall Falls

As the Berlin Wall falls in November 1989, a symbol of freedom and change, Randy experiences a moment of historical significance alongside his comrades. However, this landmark event also triggers a personal awakening when Randy encounters a gay magazine in Berlin, stirring internal questions about his own identity.

[38:15] Randy Taylor:
"I never seen anything like that in my life. That magazine was scrambled, screaming out to me."

This encounter serves as a catalyst for Randy’s eventual decision to confront his true self, despite the looming threat of repression and discrimination within the military.

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Conclusion and Reflections

Unfit for Service Episode 1 poignantly sets up Randy Taylor’s narrative as one of duty, love, and the quest for authenticity in an environment that demanded conformity and secrecy. Through vivid storytelling and personal anecdotes, the episode invites listeners to empathize with Randy’s plight and anticipate the unfolding of his harrowing journey.

[39:26] Randy Taylor:
"The issue is not whether there should be homosexuals in the military. Everyone concedes that there are. The issue is whether men and women who can and have served with real distinction should be excluded from military service solely on the basis of their status." [39:26]

This powerful statement encapsulates the central theme of the series, challenging listeners to reconsider notions of service, honor, and personal identity.

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Production Credits

• Host: Eric Marcus
• Executive Producers: Jason Hoke (Wavland), Daniel Turkin and Johnny Galvin (Vespucci)
• Series Producer: Rachel Byrne
• Story Editors: Matt Willis and Thomas Curry
• Additional Script Editing: Sara Burningham
• Managing Producer: Thomas Curry
• Audio Recording: Katherine Cook at CDM Sound Studios
• Sound Design: Arlie Adlington and Alex Portfelix
• Audio Mix: Alex Portfelix

Follow Wavland on Instagram: @WavlandMedia

If you loved this episode, please leave a review and share the series with your friends.

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Stay Tuned:
The series continues every Monday morning, delving deeper into Randy Taylor’s life, the challenges he faced, and his courageous journey towards living authentically. Don’t miss the upcoming episodes as more chapters of this remarkable story unfold.

Transcript

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Listener discretion is advised.

[Narrator]

1992 Eastern Africa A dirt road just outside a village in Somalia. It's the middle of the night. Bullets pierce the darkness, coming from two different directions. Captain Randy Taylor and his troops are positioned between opposing groups of armed rebels. Each group of rebels is under the command of their leader, their warlord.

[Randy Taylor]

We had enough intelligence to know that another big slaughter was coming that night.

[Narrator]

These warlords and their militias have been fighting to overthrow the Somali government and take control of the country and civilians have been massacred in the crossfire. The US has sent in troops to protect both the Somali people and aid workers in the region.

[Randy Taylor]

When one warlord would roll into a town, they would quickly exterminate any rivals, literally slay them, kill them all.

[Narrator]

Captain Randy and his small team are at the edge of a village that's already under the control of one warlord. But a rival warlord has his sights set on taking over.

[Randy Taylor]

This other warlord was moving in with all their vehicles and all the machine guns mounted, ready for blood.

[Narrator]

Randy and his soldiers are all that stand between the warlords and almost certain death for the villagers.

[Randy Taylor]

There was constant sniper and constant gunfire from side to side.

[Narrator]

But there's a problem. Randy and his team are unprepared and outnumbered. Just four soldiers in two unarmored military vehicles. Without any backup, they're sitting ducks waiting in the dark. Captain Randy Taylor slips out of his truck and presses his body across the ground. Down low in the dust, his breathing is quiet measure. Behind them is the village in front, a forest. The advancing warlord and his fighters are waiting somewhere in those trees, ready to launch a full scale attack. Randy lies frozen in place, hyper aware of every sound and vibration.

[Randy Taylor]

We just had to sense it. I had to sense it. I could hear them people crawling through the woods around you and coming closer and closer.

[Narrator]

Randy adjusts his weapon and prepares to fire.

[Randy Taylor]

I had a lot of adrenaline because I saw what these warlords did. They didn't shoot somebody and move on. They massacred them.

[Narrator]

Randy knows what's at stake. He's taken an oath to do everything he can to protect his troops and to protect the civilians in the village whose lives are in his hands.

[Randy Taylor]

I needed to stay calm and to stay alert and to be ready. This was keeping me and the few people I was with a lot.

[Narrator]

I'm going to tell you a story about this soldier, this man, Randy Taylor. Randy is a fierce patriot. He's dedicated his life to serving his country, rising to the rank of two star general, one of the U.S. army's most senior officers. He understands the risks of combat, the price soldiers like him pay for patriotism. He believes in defending his country and its constitution with all his heart. He's been through years of training so he'd know how to think clearly and calmly in life and death situations. But Randy Taylor faces another battle for which he's had no training, no support. This fight leaves him even more isolated than on that dirt track in Somalia in 1992. And that's because throughout his career, at a time when the US Military is trying to throw out people just like him. Randy Taylor is gay. I'm Eric Marcus and from Waveland and Vespucci. This is Unfit for service. Episode 1 the Soldier.

[Randy Taylor]

Eric.

[Narrator]

Randy. Hi. Hi.

[Randy Taylor]

It's so good to have you here.

[Narrator]

Nice to meet you.

[Randy Taylor]

Good to meet you.

[Narrator]

Yes, wonderful.

[Randy Taylor]

You've come so far too. Come on in, we'll show you around and make you comfortable.

[Narrator]

Thank you. Before I tell you more about Randy, it might help if you know a little about my interest in his story. I've spent my decades long career as a journalist and author reporting on gay life and the history of the LGBTQ civil rights movement. I've interviewed men and women forced out of the military when their sexuality became known. Randy's story is different. It has so many surprising twists and turns that it almost reads like a spy novel. Randy served in the army for nearly four decades. For many of those years, he was working under a policy that forced him and thousands of other LGBTQ military personnel like him to keep their true identities hidden. This policy, called don't ask, don't tell, would cost many soldiers their careers. It even cost some their lives. For Randy, don't ask, don't tell meant living in a state of secrecy and constant vigilance. One small mistake that would reveal him as a homosexual could wipe out everything he'd accomplished. If discovered, the very military he'd sworn to obey would throw him out on his ear without hesitation. But on a warm October day in 2023, on a tour with Randy of his beautiful tropical garden, all of that seems very far away, and it's rare.

[Randy Taylor]

But occasionally there's a fire ant out here. You're not allergic to them, are you?

[Narrator]

Um, no.

[Randy Taylor]

Okay, good. As far as I know, if you don't have a known allergy, then you'll be fine.

[Narrator]

Randy is dressed in a standard issue Florida uniform of lightweight shirt and khaki shorts. It's still summer on the west coast of Florida. Unlike New York, where I've just traveled from where fall is underway, the sun here is hot and strong, no friend to Randy's peaches and cream complexion, which is peppered with freckles. Randy is a youthful 60 year old with a bit of silver in his light brown hair. He's slight, about average height, not the broad shouldered, barrel chested general I'd imagined that of central casting. He's handsome in a wholesome way, like out of a 1960s family sitcom. He is, in a word, adorable.

[Randy Taylor]

And this one is called the White Bird of Paradise. It produces the beautiful white blooms, almost look like birds.

[Narrator]

He welcomes us warmly. And by us, I mean me and my producer Rachel, who has traveled from London and is recording our conversation as we take a tour of his garden. I can tell Randy is taking the measure of us.

[Randy Taylor]

See the coconuts up in the palm trees? So those are just like edible normal coconuts you would buy in the store.

[Narrator]

If I were in his shoes, I would be too. This will be the first time Randy has spoken publicly about his exceptional life and it's not going to be easy. He prefers not to dwell on the past. I see a monarch butterfly, lots of other butterflies and bees and it's beautiful. Randy guides us through the screened in porch, past the swimming pool and into his two story house. He looks a little nervous. We then enter a large, beautifully appointed dining room. The whole place is immaculate. Everything from the seat cushions and light fixtures to the bookshelves, artwork and knick knacks. It's all meticulously arranged and perfectly clean. We head upstairs and into Randy's study, a compact navy blue room. There's no sign of the military memorabilia you might expect in the home office of a decorated general. Randy says that stuff's still packed away in boxes. He takes a seat in a leather recliner and I pull up a chair opposite. I review my questions, checked with Rachel to make sure we're rolling, and ask Randy to start from the beginning. 1979, Ohio. 16 year old Randy Taylor is living in Lorain, a small industrial city on the shores of Lake Erie between Cleveland and Toledo. Randy lives with his mother Carol, his six siblings and his stepfather, Fred. He's close to his mother and his younger brothers and sisters, especially Brett, the youngest.

[Family Member]

I don't know.

[Randy Taylor]

I have so many memories of Brett. Memories of him dressed up in his little Little league uniform, playing baseball and just being, you know, a hot shot on the ball field. Him rolling around in the mud campground, wrestling with one of my sisters.

[Narrator]

But Randy's not close to his stepfather and he's the frequent target of Fred's anger.

[Randy Taylor]

He got a kick out of just going around and just pretending to punch you and just stopping short or pretending to slap you or pretend, you know, just to see if you would withdraw. It was hard being in the same room. There was the physical threat that was just persistent because you didn't know if it was just gonna be a play hit that just stopped short of hitting you or one that was actually gonna follow through with because it was a bad day.

[Narrator]

Fred was a former military man. He'd served for a short time during the 1960s. After the Army, Fred took a factory job at the local Ford plant. But then the layoffs came and unemployment only made things worse at home. Fred became increasingly cold and cruel.

[Randy Taylor]

I remember vividly one time where Fred came back home late at night after being out drinking, started an argument with my mom, which escalated. And I could hear from the other side of the house that he was turning violent. And I go insert myself to stop him. He outweighed me by far. And then I could remember my brother Terry also getting involved. When I saw my stepfather start swinging at my brother, that's when it really, you know, clicked in me. I ran outside as quickly as I could into the neighbor's house, beat on the door. He said, call the police right now. And he's at it again. And I remember the police hauling him away in handcuffs. And I felt we just all had a bit of relief that night until he came back. My role at the time, I felt was I needed to be the sentry. I needed to be on the lookout because I knew at some point, left unconstrained, it would escalate and he'd start swinging at mom and the next day she'd be black eyed or whatever. And that kept me awake on many a night just because he didn't know if that was going to be the night. So most of my school memories of my teenage years are basically being in school and just being in a daze, a haze, because I really didn't sleep properly. And I was just so preoccupied with the thoughts of home and not at school.

[Narrator]

Randy wanted to run away, but he knew that he was all that stood between his abusive stepfather and the rest of the family at that point.

[Randy Taylor]

My siblings were too young. I just. That I couldn't leave them to manage this on their own. That would have hurt me more.

[Narrator]

So Randy stays and helps out as best he can. Fred notices Randy helping out around the house and he bullies Randy for doing what he considers women's work.

[Randy Taylor]

He'd have a friend or relative over and they'd be in the kitchen having coffee and talking about, you know, last week at the Ford plant. And I refill somebody's coffee and he says, oh yeah, you make a fine wife for somebody. Yeah, that was kind of his thing. I don't know, don't know what attempts he was seeking to make a man out of me by that technique, you know, but I know I wasn't his kind of man.

[Narrator]

Randy finds an escape.

[Randy Taylor]

I joined the Boy Scouts and that was just another world where I started to see, like, how people treated each other and just like how other fathers interacted with their sons and their son's friends. We got to go out and do these exotic things like go camping in the woods, you know, and just build fires and cook outdoors and like, you know, all those things I thought were just fascinating. So being able to now join a bunch of other kids that were taking tents and sleeping bags and, you know, knives and going off into the woods and just, I mean, that was a good time. That was a fun time. And it helped really spur a lot of interest that manifested later in life just to go further, to explore more, to be more adventurous, to take on and live a life unlike that ordinary, boring, gray life that I grew up with. There was nothing but struggle.

[Narrator]

Randy wanted out. And now he could see another life, other possibilities beyond dodging his stepfather's fist and trying to protect his mom and siblings. The scouts gave him a taste for adventure, but also a kind of structure and camaraderie that he craved. The army was calling.

[Randy Taylor]

The hardest part was leaving my siblings, especially Brett. Oh, he was angry, he cried. He. Yeah, it was very. It was very hard. It was very like they was losing a parent at that time. Yeah, when I joined the military, I pretty much left and didn't look back.

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[Narrator]

Good Burger.

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[Narrator]

In 1982, Randy enlists in the US Army. He joins the ranks of new recruits at basic training. That's 10 weeks of mentally and physically demanding boot camp aimed at turning civilians into soldiers. Around this same time, I was two years out of college and living in New York City, writing freelance, dating guys and applying to grad school. There were doors that were closed to me because I was gay and out. But thanks to the progress made by activists through the 1970s, an open, happy life was imaginable for a young man like me in the early 1980s. Not guaranteed, but imaginable life as a soldier in the US military, well, that was a whole different reality. Homosexuality is incompatible with military service. In 1982, the year Randy enlists, gay men and women are barred from serving. The presence in the military environment of persons who engage in homosexual conduct seriously impairs the accomplishment of the military mission. Not only does the Department of Defense deem gay men and lesbians unfit for service, they're considered a danger to the military as a whole. The presence of such members adversely affects the ability of the military services to maintain discipline, good order and morale. To maintain public acceptability of military service, and to prevent breaches of security. Tens of thousands of gay men and lesbians were discharged from the military. And this policy strongly reinforced a culture of homophobia and violence within the ranks. Homophobia and violence with deadly consequences. There's one story I'll never forget. It made the grave risks for gay and lesbian service members crystal clear. October 1992. The ban on gay men and lesbians within the US military is still in place in the Japanese port city of Sasebo. U.S. navy radioman Alan Schindler is walking through a park towards the ship where he's stationed, the USS Belleau Wood. Alan is 22. He's 6 foot 1, with strawberry blond hair, blue eyes, and tattoos of a shark and a tiger on his left and right forearms. He was a world away from the Chicago suburb where he grew up. Dorothy, Ellen's mother, remembers her son's excitement at being posted overseas.

[Family Member]

He had been to Australia, had been to Hawaii. He just loved the adventures of seeing all these different places.

[Narrator]

In his diary, Alan writes, some dreams do come true. But not long after he arrives in Japan, Alan's dream becomes a nightmare.

[Family Member]

He enjoyed being in the Navy until he was transferred to the Bellwood. And once he was transferred to the Belleau Wood, his whole life changed.

[Narrator]

Alan is gay, and while he doesn't advertise it, it's not a perfect secret either. His discretion had been enough to protect him in the past, but not anymore. Not with this new crew.

[Family Member]

He had his hat and he had it changed from Belleau Wood to Halawood. And he had one time had said he never had to worry about dying and going to hell because he was already there. By being on that ship, he stated in his journal that more and more people are finding out about me, and you never know when they might harm me or cease my existence. And that's in his own handwriting.

[Narrator]

Fearing for his life, Alan thinks about ways he can get himself discharged. He decides to come out to his captain in confidence. Once his captain knows, he'll have to throw him off the ship and out of the Navy. It'll be the end of his military career, but at least he'll be out of danger. The captain, however, says he doesn't have time. So Alan takes the situation into his own hands.

[Family Member]

The captain said he couldn't speak with him, and so Alan went over the radio line and said that he was too cute to be straight.

[Narrator]

Too cute to be straight. Alan has just broadcast to everyone on board that he's gay. Now the captain calls a hearing.

[Family Member]

Alan told him that he was gay and wanted his paperwork done for him to be discharged.

[Narrator]

The captain grants Allen's discharge request. But then weeks pass, and Allen hears nothing about his departure date. And everyone on board the Belleau Wood knows Alan's gay. A mounting sense of danger threatens to overwhelm him. I've seen Allen's diary entries from around this time. Reading through them, you notice how, as Alan's time on the ship drags on, his handwriting changes. It shifts from block letters to an almost illegible italic, slanted so much it resembles code. It's like he's disguising his thoughts in case the diary falls into the wrong hands. In late October 1992, Alan calls his mom and reassures her that he'll be sent home soon.

[Family Member]

He told me that he'd be home for good before Christmas. He told me how much he loved me. And some 13 hours later, there was two men at my door in dressed blue uniforms. And any mother knows that when they come to your door that something's happened.

[Narrator]

It was several weeks before Navy officials fully explained to Dorothy the details of what had been done to her son. Just a few hours after he makes that call to Dorothy, reassuring her that he'll be home soon, Alan leaves the ship and heads into town for a Diet Coke at a local bar. On his way back to the ship, he stops at a public restroom. Shortly after entering the restroom, two men follow Allen inside. They corner him.

[Family Member]

Struck my son and knocked him to the floor, and his head hit against the urinal. And after that, he continued to be on my son and stomp on his body over and over and over again.

[Narrator]

A passerby who witnesses the scene through the restroom windows later gave the following statement to the police. I remember that the guy who was stomping the man on the floor actually looked like he was dancing as he was stomping on the man's chest area with such force. I am also able to recall hearing what sounded like air rushing out of the man on the floor's lungs, as if the air was being kicked out of him as the stomping continued.

[Family Member]

When his body arrived back, they told me that he had been beaten to death by two people from the ship and that they didn't feel like I should open the coffin, but there was no way, no way they were going to keep me from opening that coffin. And we opened the coffin and there was a body and it was dressed in his dress blues and his hat was there alongside of him with Schindler on it and his name tag. But it looked nothing like my Allen. Nothing. Because he didn't have a face. His face was stomped so many times that the person's Nike shoe printed was embedded in my son's face. I couldn't kiss him goodbye. I couldn't hug him. I didn't know for sure that was my son. And the autopsy showed that every organ, every organ was destroyed. There was even lacerations on his penis. And because he was making a gurgling noise, they stomped on his voice box so that no one could hear him. How could anybody do that to another human being? The autopsy said it was the same as if a person had been stumbled to death by a horse or been in a low speed aircraft accident. The person said that they had never seen a body destroyed that way by another human being as Alan's was.

[Narrator]

Allen was brutally murdered by his shipmate, Terry Helvey. Helvey had an accomplice, another shipmate, Charles Vins. To this day, the US Navy has never stated that Alan's murder was a homophobic hate crime.

[Family Member]

They never said it was gay dashing. Never.

[Narrator]

The details of Alan's murder sicken me as much today as they did 30 years ago. I wasn't a closeted gay soldier trying to survive in the military. But I remember wondering what kind of message Allen's murder sent to those who were. If you were gay and got found out, just terrifying.

[Carl's Jr. Advertiser]

The kind of burgers you get today tells you a lot about yourself. You're either someone who settles for sad, same old, same old burgers, or you're at a Carl's Jr obsessed with a tangy OG Western bacon cheeseburger demanding a house made guacamole Loaded guac bacon fired up for the insanely hot El Diablo or great a classic char world famous star. Give in to your flavor cravings. Do your mouth to Carl's Jr.

[Narrator]

Good Burger.

[Diablo 4 Advertiser]

Hell's gates are open. Get ready to save humanity in Diablo 4. Vessel of Hatred. Continue the saga and carve your own path through Sanctuary's cursed lands with massive updates to character progression difficulties and loot systems for powerful demon slaying action. Unleash fierce skills as you embark on an immersive campaign. Tackle new co op dungeons and team up with allies using the new party finder. Hell awaits you. Save 35% off Diablo 4 and Vessel of Hatred today in the Diablo 4 expansion bundle. Rated M for mature.

[Narrator]

Around the same time Alan Schindler enlisted in the Navy, Randy Taylor landed in Berlin. It's 1989. Randy is 26. He's completed his training and he is now a brand new lieutenant on his first overseas posting.

[Diablo 4 Advertiser]

Every day around the clock, troops of.

[Randy Taylor]

The Western Allies, Britain, France and the United States keep up their watch along the Wall at the crossing points.

[Narrator]

In November, the Berlin Wall will come down reuniting east and West Germany. But for now the Soviets are still in control of the oppressed eastern half of the city while the US and its allies occupy a vibrant and thriving West Berlin. When he's at work, Randi and his fellow troops conduct maneuvers in Berlin's parks using blank ammunition and dodging pirate and simulated urban warfare. When he's off duty, well, Randy kept himself busy. Very busy.

[Randy Taylor]

I was just so set on sowing my oats and getting about and seeing the town charged with testosterone, having the time of my life, the first time being overseas and now being an infantry rifle platoon leader, I would not waste a minute being out in the clubs, being out with women, taking them home, and just fitting in as a brand new lieutenant.

[Narrator]

Whatever Randy feels for men at this time in his life, it's buried deep. He's determined to be just like his fellow troops and is focused on delivering a perfect performance as a straight laced military man with a side of Casanova.

[Randy Taylor]

I had to prove to others and to myself that I had the right stuff. But then I also had to prove that not only was I a good army leader, but I had to prove that I was just a man by the definition of the institution and the culture at the time on what being a man meant. And so I went. I worked overtime to prove that.

[Narrator]

And Then Randy meets Martina, a German born au pair and kindergarten teacher.

[Randy Taylor]

When I first saw Martina, she made me think of some Swedish volleyball champion or something. She was tall and slender and blonde, but had great curvature. She just really seemed like something that was really exotic compared to where I'd raised. She was a very attractive woman. We got along great.

[Narrator]

Randy and Martina sit in Berlin cafes talking about all the things they have in common. They discover they share a love for scuba diving and they dream about future, a future together. Martina tells Randy she can see herself living in America. She wants the white picket fence and to drive around in an old pickup truck just like she's seen in the movies. After a whirlwind romance, they decide to get married.

[Randy Taylor]

We didn't tell anybody. We all butt eloped and didn't have any intention of having. Having a big traditional wedding with lots of people invited to that just didn't fit. For whatever reason.

[Narrator]

It's everything Randy thought he wanted.

[Randy Taylor]

I always imagined myself being with a loving wife, beautiful wife that I ended up having. I was married to an incredibly nice person in every way. And we would have kids, we would fit in with all other families and we would be a better version of the families I experienced growing up. And I would. I would get it right. I never ever in my growing up in my teens, twenties, never saw myself in any other future other than with a wife and kids.

[Narrator]

On the night the Berlin Wall comes down, Randy and his fellow troops dance on the rubble.

[Randy Taylor]

Thousands and thousands of West Germans come to make the point that the wall has suddenly become irrelevant. Something, as you can see, almost to party on. How do you measure such an astonishing moment in history?

[Narrator]

They are comrades in arms, and Randy believes that his life is falling into place. But there's a hidden flaw in his grand plan.

[Randy Taylor]

We were standing in the train station, underground train station, U Bahn in West Berlin, and there's these little, like news and tobacco kiosk around there. And there, along with the other magazines, all in German, was some kind of gay magazine. Just right there, not with a cover over it, not shamefully buried somewhere, but just right there in the window. And I never seen anything like that in my life. That magazine was scrambled, screaming out to me. And I was so distracted by it, like, what is this and why do I like it? I wanted to quickly as we could, get in that train with Martina and run away, but then circle back on my own, go to that kiosk and say, I want a copy. Give me that.

[Narrator]

Coming up on Unfit for service.

[Randy Taylor]

Dignity and respect. A training guide on homosexual conduct policy. The issue is not whether there should be homosexuals in the military. Everyone concedes that there are. The issue is whether men and women who can and have served with real distinction should be excluded from military service solely on the basis of their status. We're here, we're clear, we're going to the White House. And he said, you know what happens when you get hard and you get an erection? You know what that is? And I very naively said, yes, yeah, like when you see another guy naked? And he said, don't you ever, ever, ever say that again.

[Narrator]

Unfit for Service is a production of Waveland and Vespucci and is hosted by me, Eric Marcus for Waveland, the executive producer is Jason Hoke. For Vespucci, the executive producers are Daniel Turkin and Johnny Galvin. The series producer is Rachel Byrne. The story editors are Matt Willis and Thomas Curry with additional script editing by Sara Burningham. Thomas Curry is the managing producer. Audio recording by Katherine Cook at CDM Sound Studios. Sound design by Arlie Adlington and Alex Portfelix Audio mix by Alex Portfelix Follow Waveland on Instagram at Waveland Media if you love the show, please don't forget to leave a review and make sure you tell your friends. Thanks for listening.

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