I think I love my Step-Friends?

Summary

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Unhinged & Immoral – "I think I love my Step-Friends?"

Hosts: Jamila Bell & Mecca Evans
Date: November 20, 2025
Production: Diamond MPrint Productions

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Episode Overview

In this lively and unfiltered episode, Jamila and Mecca take listeners on an insightful and comedic journey through the complicated world of “step friends” – those friends-of-friends who exist in the periphery of our primary relationships. The conversation flows naturally from viral TikToks to their own personal stories of friend group navigation, the politics of social dynamics, messy moments, and the importance of maintaining community and familial ties. As always, their candid (and sometimes racy) discussion is filled with trademark zillenial humor, self-awareness, and nuanced takes shaped by their backgrounds in PR.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What (or Who) Are “Step Friends”?

• The duo define “step friends”/“friend-in-laws”: friends of friends—people you see at group events but might not have direct, independent connections with.
• [05:23] Jamila: "So, step friends or friend-in-laws? ...The idea of your friends' friends. Are they your friends? Can they become your friends as we age?"
• The pair agree that step friends rarely cross over into “main friend” territory but play a special role in group dynamics.

2. Boundaries & Etiquette with Step Friends

• Step friends are often more Instagram connections than real-life ones; group chats and frequent trips can deepen these ties.
• Importance of acknowledging everyone—never just greet your “anchor” (primary) friend and ignore their friends.
  [12:40] Jameela: “You have to acknowledge. Because if you don't acknowledge, you wrong.”
• Discusses the politics of step friend interactions at parties, and how being too cold or exclusive can create visible rifts.
• Non-negotiable: don’t make others pick sides if you have beef within the group.

3. Messiness vs. Malice: The Line in Gossip

• Reviewing messy friend group situations and the host’s own “messy” moments—distinguishing between harmless gossip and intentional malice.
  • [18:23] Mecca: "There is a difference between having malice intent and just being a little messy goose."
  • Iconic “messy moments” from pop culture and real life are discussed, like strategic gossip and using info for good or (occasionally) for vengeance.
• Both hosts admit to a fondness for drama (“the kiki”) but prioritize honesty with friends over backstabbing.

4. Navigating Friend Group Conflict and Loyalty

• Strategies for surviving group fractures: stay upbeat at events, confide in trusted “sub-groups,” and avoid spreading drama.
• Acknowledgment that every friend group contains smaller cliques and that not all beef has to be public or divisive.
• [17:46] Mecca: "That happened within my family group...What I did respect about them is that...they wouldn’t talk about it to other people."
• The importance of managing one’s own energy to avoid poisoning the vibe for others.

5. The Art of Managing Events and Emotional Prep

• Black social custom: “Who all gone be there?” as a legitimate and necessary question for emotional self-protection.
• Pre-event debriefing rituals with close friends and siblings—highlighting Black family and friend group “sign languages” for silently clocking group drama.
  • [45:12] Jameela: “My favorite thing is when it happens like this...if something happens that is a thing that we're going to talk about later...It's so simple. Watch. It's that quick [makes eye contact gesture].”

6. Family, Community, and The Loss of Matriarchs

• The transition as matriarchs and patriarchs pass—how it affects family unity, disputes, and generational ties.
• [54:43] Jameela: "Somebody got to be Dorothy because nobody is. Nobody is scared of looking bad."
• Both reflect deeply on family structures, maintaining community, and how interpersonal dynamics carry over from family to friendships.

7. Spin It Segment: Prom Drama & Sex Ed Realness [61:48–80:00]

• Advice to a high school senior anxious about finding a prom date. Both hosts share their “non-traditional” prom memories, emphasizing fun and friendship rather than romance.
  • [64:04] Jameela: “Prom was so much fun for me because I went with my best friend...I barely have evidence of prom because it was so much fun.”
  • [67:22] Mecca: “I went to prom with my cousin and it was one of the best memories...you want to go with people you’re familiar with.”
• Real talk about teens, sex, and “age-appropriate” sexual exploration.
  • Both stress waiting for true readiness, normalizing curiosity, and rejecting shame-based sex ed.
  • [75:29] Jameela: “I don’t think y’all little fast asses should be having sex in high school...but I do know what it's like to be in high school, and that thing thump.”
  • [77:57] Mecca: “Just wait...do the respectable thing. How me and Jamila...I lost my virginity in college...the mindset wasn't that much different.”

8. Celebrating Womanhood & Sexuality—With Humor & Pride

• Joyfully discuss the superiority of women’s orgasms, sexual pleasure, and learning about one’s body.
• [80:20] Mecca: “When I turn that rose up on Turbo, my God.”
• Sexual curiosity and information are important at every age, but the show is firmly adults-only:
  [83:44] Jameela: "This is for grown folks."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On step friend etiquette:
  [12:40] Jameela: “You have to acknowledge. Because if you don't acknowledge, you wrong.”
• On not dragging everyone into beef:
  [16:53] Jameela: “I would be very, very conscious...I did not want to disturb my spirit being around that group. Even though...it could shake, it could waver.”
• On intentional gossip:
  [21:56] Mecca: “I purposely had some information carried back to my ex that I absolutely wanted carried to him.”
• On family dynamics after loss:
  [54:43] Jameela: “Somebody got to be Dorothy because nobody is. Nobody is scared of looking bad.”
• Advice to anxious prom-goers:
  [64:04] Jameela: “Going with a boyfriend or girlfriend may not be the thing that you think it's going to be. Don't pressure yourself.” [67:22] Mecca: “I went to prom with my cousin and...you want to go with people you’re familiar with.”
• On the power of pre-event family cues:
  [46:14] Jameela: “It's almost like timestamp that [eye contact].”
• On sex and growing up:
  [75:29] Jameela: “I don’t think y’all little fast asses should be having sex in high school...but I do know what it's like to be in high school, and that thing thump.” [80:20] Mecca: “When I turn that rose up on Turbo, my God.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [05:23] – Defining step friends and exploring the concept.
• [12:40] – Step friend etiquette: acknowledging everyone, not just your anchor.
• [16:49] – How to manage group conflicts and split-offs.
• [21:56] – When messiness crosses into malice in group drama.
• [38:20] – Emotional/physical responses to uncomfortable group scenarios.
• [45:12] – Black family/friend group “sign language” and silent cues at events.
• [54:43] – Family after the loss of elders; the need for new anchors.
• [61:48] – Spin It Segment: prom pressures & real talk about teen sexuality.
• [80:20] – Discussion of women’s pleasure, “grown folks” content.

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Final Takeaways

• Step friends can enrich your social life, but maintaining good etiquette is essential—always greet, include, and respect the group.
• Messiness is part of social life, but there’s a line between playful drama and harmful malice—self-awareness is key.
• Friend group and family dynamics are ever-shifting; after losing matriarchs/patriarchs, it’s up to new generations to maintain unity.
• Event prep and “who all gone be there” is a legitimate strategy for protecting mental health and emotional energy in group settings.
• Sex ed should be real, supportive, and shame free—and prom is about making joyful memories with people you love, not romantic partners.

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For more from Jamila and Mecca, subscribe to Unhinged & Immoral and check out their Patreon for bonus content.

Transcript

[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

Enjoy it over ice or in your coffee.

[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

Tap or click the banner for more. Drink responsibly.

[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

Copyright 2025 Agave Loco Brands, Pojoaquee, Wisconsin.

[Mecca]

All rights reserved.

[Jameela]

She flowing in that cash talk Walk in the booth like Naomi on the cat bar and tell them from the Jaguar it ain't even right though Push me and I might go she ain't getting money I'm like, what the hype for? When them bite flow make my appetite go poof? Gone, Voila. Magic looking mad good just to pull up on them ramping. Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged and more. I'm your host, Jameela.

[Mecca]

And I am your host, Mecca. Welcome.

[Jameela]

Welcome back to another amazing episode with just me and Mecca. We're trying to pace you guys. We're trying to.

[Mecca]

We heard the feedback.

[Jameela]

Geez.

[Mecca]

They said we hate when we see other people on the screen, which, I mean, we have to appreciate that people like seeing it.

[Jameela]

I do appreciate it. You know, it's like, okay, period. But also, get used to it, sisters.

[Mecca]

Come on, you guys. I know you want to see us interview some people.

[Jameela]

Yeah, like, think about that. Think about how much I love us and how crazy and kooky we are. Y' all want us to bring that out of a guest?

[Mecca]

I be feeling like we bring a little bit of kooky and crazy out of the guests.

[Jameela]

Honestly, every time somebody finish interviewing with us, they always go, like, that was fun.

[Mecca]

What the fuck?

[Jameela]

Like, that was so good. I had no idea what we were gonna talk about. I was like, we've done our job.

[Mecca]

That's the effect that we wanna have on people. Mm. I want this to be a fun, rad time. Yeah.

[Jameela]

It's just the space for silliness and goofiness.

[Mecca]

Yeah. I haven't. I don't think we've had any bad experiences on podcasts yet. But I mean, I've heard, I've heard people go on podcast and like, oh, the vibes were off. But I feel like, like all of our experiences have been good.

[Jameela]

We've had stellar experiences and everybody, for the most part. Yeah, everybody for the most part, we've had on so far up until today. You may, you may have seen, you may not have seen it. You just have to wait and see. But we've had some level of interaction before, so I think that also kind of.

[Mecca]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jameela]

So it wasn't super awkward. Like, it's been like we got some.

[Mecca]

Familiarity on or they're just very cool interacting on socials. You're right. We. So, so, so we'll come back, we'll let y' all know how we feel after we raw dog an interview.

[Jameela]

But yes, we're. We're back and we're ready. I'm wondering, like, what's going to be the vibe now? Like, since we were on camera or we were virtual, I feel like we got so used to staring at our.

[Mecca]

Camera and now it's like, I feel like the last episode we recorded, I don't even think I looked at the camera one time. I think I was like this the whole time.

[Jameela]

Every now and then, I'm going to get one thing about me. I'm going to give Cam, you know.

[Mecca]

She'S good at a good camera moment. I'm going to look at. But even when we were recording all virtually, I was always looking at your camera. So I do have to learn that. I have to learn the camera angles.

[Jameela]

Wonderful. Anyways, let's get to our topic of the day. This is a really fun topic.

[Mecca]

This must be a spin off topic because this tiny chair, this chair we're gonna have to get. I'm not even lying to y'. All. This is not. Jamila, look at me, I'm spilling out the chair. And this is. This is why I can't trust the whole airline situation. Because I'm 165 on a good day, 70 on a bad day, but 100 some pounds.

[Jameela]

Why can't they said no biggies on.

[Mecca]

The plane, fat ass.

[Jameela]

Which is crazy because the funny part about people also agreeing that they don't want biggies on the plane is like, you don't want a bigger seat, though. Your little ass don't want.

[Mecca]

I want a bigger seat.

[Jameela]

So I was like, why would you not? It doesn't hurt you. It actually helps everybody if we get bigger seats.

[Mecca]

But the construction of this chair, it looks really cool. I feel like it's meant for very thin people. Because it's not the chair itself. It's the way.

[Jameela]

Aesthetics. I was gonna say it's the way it curves up.

[Mecca]

It's taking my body in and making it spill on each other.

[Jameela]

Yeah, we'll figure it out. It's very much. You can't open your legs.

[Mecca]

Oh, absolutely not.

[Jameela]

Yeah, it's giving, like, keep them, like, keep your legs close to me.

[Mecca]

You gotta prop your ass up on the side of the chair and let's.

[Jameela]

Okay, give it a little hip. I feel better. You're gonna have to switch at the moment because.

[Mecca]

Yeah, it's okay. But you know, you see, you see that ass spilling out of the chair. It's okay. It's okay. All right, to our topic.

[Jameela]

Sorry, this topic can go so many different ways. So I'm very intrigued to hear your thoughts. I'm very intrigued to hear yalls thoughts.

[Mecca]

Camera.

[Jameela]

So make sure y' all are in the comments, typing your thoughts away and yelling at us. If you agree, disagree, or whatever, give it to us.

[Mecca]

So step friends or friend in laws? Yeah, we both. Well, we saw separate tiktoks on the topic, but the idea of your friends friends.

[Jameela]

Yeah, the TikTok was literally just them giving the name. They were like, oh, I call my friends friends. Step friends. And I was like, I love that name.

[Mecca]

I love that. That's so funny. Friend in laws. I kind of like that one too. I, I, I'll switch between the two. But just like the idea of your friends friends, are they your friends? Can they become your friends as we age? How does the, how the dynamic between, like, step friends look? It's, it's a bunch of different things that we can get into. I think that we should start with the topic. The video that made me think of this was I saw a lady on TikTok who fell out with her best friend. She was a bridesmaid and her best friend's wedding. She was the only black girl in the wedding. I think think that's important here. The friends were all white, but she did it. They fell out over a step friend.

[Jameela]

Never be the only black.

[Mecca]

And I want to say sister, I can't even. I want to get into the idea of step friends with you, but you got some other shit going on. Yes, but it do be like that. You will around and can lose your time. Your friend sometime. Over your friend's friend. Over your step friend. Has that ever happened? To you?

[Jameela]

No.

[Mecca]

I don't think. I don't think it's happened to me either. I've had step people, step friends that I didn't really care for, so I don't really deal with them. I let that be my friend's friend. Yes. Like, when I say step friend, for me, I feel like these are people who. It's like, I like you. Like, and when I see you at my friend's functions, we gonna get up, we gonna chat, we gonna do the thing. You're my step friend. Like, yo, friend.

[Jameela]

You have. Do you have step friends numbers?

[Mecca]

I. I think I do because we're big on group chats, and I've taken.

[Jameela]

So you're in group chats?

[Mecca]

I take trips.

[Jameela]

Okay.

[Mecca]

Group trips. So I. I have a. When we were talking about the topic, I said, I actually have a lot of step friends because I have, like, your friends, Sabrina's friends, Shantae's friends. Like, I just have a lot. Like, I'm a friendly lady and I be meeting people. I have Kousi's friends from back home who know me. Like, and when we were doing a lot of traveling, Sabrina and I together with her friend group. Actually, I take that back. I do have step friends number, because what would happen was we've done multiple trips together. So group chats are created, numbers are saved. Then you kind of kindle friendship with these people. Even if it's like a very laxed, like, casual friendship. It's like, oh, happy birthday, text. So then the next trip, it's like you're getting more and more familiar with these people. Traveling is a way to really pick up.

[Jameela]

Traveling is definitely a quick grab and go. With step friends, you kind of, like, develop a little bit more of, like.

[Mecca]

You are a camaraderie.

[Jameela]

You are right, girl.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

I feel like with me now that I'm just, like, really thinking of, like, all of my step friends, I don't have many of their numbers because we don't really intermingle as much. And if we do, it's usually centered around my face.

[Mecca]

The anchor friend.

[Jameela]

Yes, the anchor. My person.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Right. And so then. And. But it's always like, if I see you, I see.

[Mecca]

But.

[Jameela]

But ironically enough, I follow all my step friends on Instagram because that is always so easy. And one thing about me, I'm the type of person and I've always been like this. I can meet you one time, and if somebody tags you in a photo. Thank you. I'm following you. And then that goes on.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

So I'm a follower of Instagram. Like, I will follow you on Instagram because I want to keep up with you. I want to know what you're doing. And I'm just intrigued. And I feel like it's also a way to kind of, like, not have to also have everybody's number, because you don't necessarily need everybody's number if you're not communicating with them in that way. And so definitely, step friends, it's so easy to grab their little Instagram and then it's like. And then, you know, like, I interact with their things. I'd be like, look at my step friend.

[Mecca]

Literally, I feel like, no, you're absolutely correct. Instagram makes it easy to cultivate good, solid step friendship.

[Jameela]

What does a good step friend do? If you are the step friend to someone else, how do you show up?

[Mecca]

Okay, so I want to take the step friends that I've made, like, Sabrina's friends out of it, because, again, I've traveled with them multiple times. That's like a different level of step friendship. But if I'm just a regular degular casual step friend, I think we don't have to have each other's numbers, but we can follow each other on Instagram. When I. When you pop on my timeline, I engage with your content. I don't, like. I don't want a monitoring spirit step friend.

[Jameela]

Ooh, you're just gonna watch me?

[Mecca]

No, I want you to, like, interact. If I have a big moment. Like, it. You don't have the comment. Cause I'm actually. I'm actually just now getting into commenting. I've never been a big commenter.

[Jameela]

I'm a comment warrior.

[Mecca]

No, I was. I've. I'm not a comment warrior. I'm actually the opposite. Okay, so I.

[Jameela]

You're a monitoring spirit.

[Mecca]

I am. I am.

[Jameela]

No, no, no.

[Mecca]

But I'm not a monitoring spirit Mecca.

[Jameela]

The monitoring spirit. No, like, get your evil eye on.

[Mecca]

But I will. I always like stuff. I just have never been a commenter, but I definitely am seeing how far a comment will take you, like, in terms of how the weight that people put in into interacting with the post at that level, beyond liking it. So I'm tapped in. Babes, congratulations. Right now, a lot of my step friends are doing things like having kids, getting engaged, getting married. We're at that age, so I'm quick with a congrats. I think that's a good step friend. I don't expect to be at the wedding because I'm not your anger friend. But I know that. I know that our mutual friend will be at the wedding and when they're posting, I'll like. I like all their stuff because, you know, like, step friendship for sure.

[Jameela]

I think with me, same stuff. I think as far as how step friends should engage when we're in person, this is the ideal step friend engagement. You are not the main friend. Right. You're not the main course. Right. You're not the. The main chick. Okay, cool. However, comma, you have quite the responsibility. It's. It's interesting, the politics of step friends. You have to be so happy to see that anchor friend because if not, it can instantly get weird. Because what's wrong with your friend? Why she. Why your friend being weird? You as a step friend have to come in. Hey, girl.

[Mecca]

This is like the first meetup with the, like the first time you're meeting a step friend.

[Jameela]

Generally every time, really, I feel like to where there can't be any confusion, I'm just seeing what works within my peoples. And every time my anchor friends get around my other friends, which would be their step friends, or anytime I get around my step friends, I try to make sure they know it's good around here. I'm always good. I love everybody.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

You know what I mean? Like, hey, hey.

[Mecca]

Ah.

[Jameela]

You know, I try to make sure there's a good energy transfer because I would never want to go into a space where me and my anchor, homegirl or homeboy, and then their anchor there. I mean, they're. They're others. Their steps. My steps. Right. And I come in and I, you know, address my anchors and then I leave my steps hanging. That's a no. No.

[Mecca]

I fear that's.

[Jameela]

That's a no. No. You do not do that.

[Mecca]

Don't fuck with the steps.

[Jameela]

Exactly.

[Mecca]

And that's a clear like, fuck you, bitches.

[Jameela]

Right?

[Mecca]

If it's just like, I haven't seen y'. All. Hey, y' all doing. Even if. Even if you're not trying to be that much in their face. Just acknowledge.

[Jameela]

You have to acknowledge. Because if you don't acknowledge, you wrong.

[Mecca]

Yeah. You know, you know what, Elsa? Also, I hate doing is doing co mingling situations when I'm beefed up with the anchor or like, we're not on good terms. You see what I'm saying? Like, not. Not on good terms, but like, let's say we got into like a tiff and then like a birthday comes up and now it's like, am I going to miss your birthday? Because we got to a lot of Argument.

[Jameela]

And so here.

[Mecca]

And you know, the anchor has talked about you.

[Jameela]

Oh, boy.

[Mecca]

Boy.

[Jameela]

So I've definitely had a situation. I don't want to get too deep in it, but if, you know, you know. But I fell out with an anchor. Ironically, all of my other anchors were friends with the anchor, so it wasn't wa.

[Mecca]

This is Inception.

[Jameela]

Yes.

[Mecca]

So you had an anchor.

[Jameela]

So imagine an anchor group.

[Mecca]

So you're a friend group.

[Jameela]

A friend group.

[Mecca]

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

[Jameela]

Solid group.

[Mecca]

I feel like we need to clarify this. Jameela's in a friend group. A very solid friend group.

[Jameela]

So nobody in the group. Nobody is our sides.

[Mecca]

No one's inside.

[Jameela]

These are all mains groups.

[Mecca]

This is a meal that you're getting.

[Jameela]

Yes, a full course meal.

[Mecca]

Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving.

[Jameela]

Plate.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jameela]

Okay. I fell out with another anchor. With another anchor.

[Mecca]

With another anchor. Now we're fractured.

[Jameela]

Were fractured. However, the relationship amongst everyone else maintained, so I had to continuously be around someone who I'm not necessarily cool with at all.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And it is awkward. It is uncomfortable. But one thing I was very, very conscious of, and I don't even know if my friends are aware of this because it was nothing I really spoke on. It was just something within myself. I was always very conscious that I did not want to disturb my spirit being around in that group. Even though sometimes it could shake, it could waver. Because I'm very, like, very emotional in. In real life, I'm very emotional. Like, I'm very emotionally affected by things. And so I don't like being around people I don't like or that I am in a tiff with, because my energy is down. And my friends know how I am in real life, like, how I show up. I am an energetic friend. So. So being around me and I'm not energetic and I'm not in my zone, it can instantly change. Like, okay, now, now, now, now everything up. So I would be very, very conscious whenever there were these gatherings and things of, you know, birthdays, whatever, because if it wasn't a birthday, I probably would avoid or, like these big parties or whatever. Right. If it was those type of things, I would go. I would make sure that I put my best foot forward, and I would try to be very happy, go lucky and nice to every single other person, even though I know that there was another person there that I was not trying to be around, because I did not want to cause other people to.

[Mecca]

Have to pick sides.

[Jameela]

To pick sides. Even though I did want people to pick sides. It is what it is.

[Mecca]

That's just.

[Jameela]

It's natural. I did. I wanted everyone to, but I didn't want people to. I didn't want it to cause other issues within other people in the group. I didn't want. Go shift the hip.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jameela]

I literally did not want other people beefing. I wanted.

[Mecca]

That makes.

[Jameela]

I wanted to prevent everybody else from being. So I would just. And I would. And I had select a select. And so now we get into the groups within the groups, which is now my favorite.

[Mecca]

Was there the group within the group before the fracture.

[Jameela]

There was always going to be a.

[Mecca]

Group within the group. Yeah, you're right. You're right, you're right.

[Jameela]

There's always another group chat.

[Mecca]

There is. Especially when your group is more than three people. There's always another group.

[Jameela]

There's always another group chat. And it doesn't mean anything shady. It just is what it is. You have your.

[Mecca]

Your ones that you click with.

[Jameela]

Exactly. So, yes. Before that. And so I would confide in them, my group within my group about my frustrations and my woes and my sorrows and my miseries about that specific topic so that it wouldn't bleed off. And I also rejected conversation about that situation with the other anchors of that group because it was too much. That is what I did. And I felt like it was a very selfless act of me for that group. And I give myself a pat on the back to this day.

[Mecca]

I mean, that happened within like my, I guess, family group. They were beefing. I didn't have no part of that. But what I did respect about them is that to this day, I mean, I kind of. I kind of think I kind of know why they're beefing, but I still don't have the details because they wouldn't talk about it to other people. And I was like, real.

[Jameela]

Yeah. You have to know how to. I'm. I do not like when I, contrary to popular belief, as messy as I am. And I am messy. Sometimes people misconstrue messy for malice.

[Mecca]

Absolutely.

[Jameela]

And that's.

[Mecca]

Let's. Let's just veer off.

[Jameela]

Let's. Let's.

[Mecca]

Something I want to talk about. There is a difference between having malice a tent and just being a little messy goose.

[Jameela]

Yes.

[Mecca]

You know what was being a little messy goose? Alandria slipping up and saying Hooda had a baby. She didn't have no malice intent.

[Jameela]

She wasn't trying to hurt nobody.

[Mecca]

She was just talking, talking and slipped up. Talk, talk. That. That was not.

[Jameela]

That was.

[Mecca]

But then you have malice when people Are coming in intentionally. Now, if we take to the housewives. Mm. Theresa shaking that damn table. I mean, we could do it, But I'm trying to pick an iconic moment that everyone knows. Theresa getting mad and shaking that table and.

[Jameela]

Ah. You whore.

[Mecca]

Mm.

[Jameela]

That. You know, that's a little.

[Mecca]

That's malice, right? You're really upset. You're trying to hurt with the words that you're saying. And I think sometimes when you're. For me, I'm okay with being like, yeah, I'm messy. Because I know I can intentionally be messy too. Yes. I think a lot of the time people think, like. Because people do slip up. Like that situation with Alandria. It's happened to the best of us. It was an accident.

[Jameela]

She's a Gemini.

[Mecca]

Give her a break. My sister, we all are crazy, but that's a whole different topic. Look at me. Say, alandria, come sit up. Sit with us. Talk with us.

[Jameela]

We see each other.

[Mecca]

Especially now at this age. If I want. If I want, I'm gonna get real Giselle Bryant with it. Now, you had said this. Cause I know you said this.

[Jameela]

What's the messiest thing you've done?

[Mecca]

The messiest thing I've done that you're willing to share? I'm trying to think because to me, it's not messy. Because I am someone who lives on the principle. Whatever I say about you, I will also say it to you. And honestly, nine times out of 10, I've already said it to you. And if I haven't, I'm planning on doing it. Like, I was just very much taught. If you're going to talk, you need to be able to fight, but don't let people, like, kind of punk you into, like. Is this what you said? Yeah, that's what you said. That's what you said. You said. If you say what you mean, I mean what you say. So I don't. In my head, it was growing up in my head, in my head, no. It wasn't until I got to college and I got the nickname Messy Max that I was like, oh, I'm being messy.

[Jameela]

I said, I'm the drama.

[Mecca]

I'm the drama. I said it to her face. Maybe it wasn't exactly nice what I said, but in my brain at the time, I was like, well, no, I already said that kind of out of pocket thing to her face, so I can definitely come say it here. She knows I said it. So if you go ask her.

[Jameela]

Yes. When it comes to being messy, the thing is, I'm messy because I enjoy. I enjoy a good gossip session. I love to enjoy other people's business. I enjoy telling my own business. I enjoy a good, nasty kiki. I always will and I always have. And I'm. And. And I know that about myself.

[Mecca]

But, yeah, I remember the messiest thing I did, okay? And it's because I'm a gossip, and it's because I'm a smart gossip. I knew someone who told all the business. You know, how you know them people who. It's like, you can't. I know if I say this to you, you're going to tell everybody. And so that's the other thing you need to. As a gossip, you need to be able to know who you're gossiping with and have a spirit of discernment and be able to read people on who you gossip with. That's where a lot of y' all get fucked up. You don't know who the fuck to talk to. I purposely had some information carried back to my ex that I absolutely wanted carried to him.

[Jameela]

You see, you told the town gossiper some information so that they could travel so that you can start running amok.

[Mecca]

And the thing is, the thing about telephone, you know, it's gonna get switched up and they gonna add dubs on it. I knew what I was doing. That's what I wanted. So when it comes back to me, who told you that? Why would I say that? Mind you, at this point, he's fully my ex and he's fully in a new situation, but was fully still trying to be in my phone. And see, since I don't believe in coming as a woman, I feel like that's lame. I'm sorry. This is a more effective manner to me.

[Jameela]

Just throw a dart, Bing. I'll get you somewhere.

[Mecca]

Listen, you're going to find out, babes. I wasn't going to. I wasn't going to hit that girl's line, but I absolutely was going to make her know that her man was still in my phone. Especially considering how bad her man hurt my feelings, you know?

[Jameela]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

I'm gonna make you pay for what he did to me. Sorry, sister.

[Jameela]

Damn.

[Mecca]

I have since not changed, okay? I think I've evolved a little bit. I'm better at letting things go. But at the time, that was like, such a deep heartbreak for me. Like, I was so upset about it. That was just like on a rampage. Yeah.

[Jameela]

Whatever had to get done.

[Mecca]

Well, whoever was a casualty of war, it just simply was.

[Jameela]

Sorry.

[Mecca]

But I absolutely did go tell the gossiper. That was a mutual between us. Yeah, well, still in my phone, he still wants me. And then, of course, I couldn't just be messy. You can't just take my word for it, because what is he going to say? She's lying. Screenshot.

[Jameela]

Gotcha.

[Mecca]

Now the screenshot's going around. You told everyone you weren't fucking with me. You know, sometimes. Sometimes you got to know how to gossip for good. You got to know. You got to know how to use your powers.

[Jameela]

Yes, I will. Let me tell you one of the. One of the messiest things. I have a few things, but let me tell you about one of the messiest. And to this day, I'm proud of. I'm proud of it because it was for the good and for the gander. Exactly. So I can't give too much detail for this situation, but if you can read through my lines.

[Mecca]

I'll try.

[Jameela]

So there was a situation with at one point, two friends that I had. Right. One of the friends is no longer. Because of this situation, obviously, essentially, I.

[Mecca]

Thought you were meant died, but you don't.

[Jameela]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Death. No death, essentially. So these two friends, they were really close. Okay. So these two friends were really close. One of the friends did something to the friend. Okay. Very up. Just imagine some really, really, really up.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela]

Okay. And for a while, no one knew until I met up with a friend. And I'm like, hey, have you and so. And so been hanging out? D d well, no. This is what happened. Ooh, scandalo. So I'm like, oh, yeah, that's fucking crazy. It was so bad that I wanted to back up from.

[Mecca]

From short.

[Jameela]

Oh, yes. So I was like, actually, that's really fucking crazy. Yeah, I'm cool on it, too. Didn't address it. Me, I didn't address it. I just.

[Mecca]

You just silently backed up.

[Jameela]

Silently stepped, as one does back. Right. Some time goes on, this person post on Instagram something very messy about that situation, and I thought it was very tacky. There was a lot of things in play, and I say, you should probably take that down. Take that down. I'm really. I don't care. So take that shit down. That's lame as fuck. We got in the back and forth. It was taken down, though. So that's like, the fuck. I said, yeah. Some time goes, people wanted to get involved.

[Mecca]

Now we're getting outside.

[Jameela]

Now we're getting outside. People who wanted to get involved and decided, I want you all to figure this out so y' all could be better. I said, no, I actually don't care. They essentially wanted us to have a conversation to really figure it out. And I was like, fine, we have a conversation. And I recorded the entire conversation. Why did I record the entire conversation?

[Mecca]

You must be smart with your mouth.

[Jameela]

Because I know people so well, and I know the type of person that lady was. She's a liar. No one knew I recorded that conversation until a year and a half later. Because after that, things kind of died down. A year and a half later, for whatever reason, this thing comes back up, and this person.

[Mecca]

Why does it keep coming back up?

[Jameela]

Questions we all want to know. This person essentially insinuates that I'm a liar. Something you should never do to a Gemini. Have we not learned anything from Kendrick? Please do not try me. Insinuated that I am a liar and all of these things to several people without me saying anything more than hold that thought. Drop said recording. And the good, juicy part about this is I only took the snippet that I needed from that recording. That was about an hour long. I only needed that those 30, 40 seconds. I knew exactly. I said, huh? Sent the portion that I needed and handled it the way that I needed to handle. I haven't heard about it since. Thank you.

[Mecca]

What that Aretha Franklin is. There's nothing to say.

[Jameela]

There's nothing to say. Yeah. So that was that. And.

[Mecca]

Yeah. How would you handle. Okay, so, like, with this person, you're obviously not having to see them, but how.

[Jameela]

Actually, I did. Oh, yeah?

[Mecca]

How'd that go?

[Jameela]

One thing about me, I don't change my maneuvers, my routine, my lifestyle up. Cause I'm beefing with a bitch.

[Mecca]

Yeah. I'm still gonna come.

[Jameela]

I'm gonna go wherever. Because no shade. I'm good wherever I go.

[Mecca]

I'm good in every hood.

[Jameela]

I'm good.

[Mecca]

I'm good on every single MLK Boulevard. And that's what y' all need to know.

[Jameela]

And if I'm not, I do got folks I can call.

[Mecca]

And that's that. On that.

[Jameela]

How you doing?

[Mecca]

Oh, Wendy, my OG that is managing. Okay, so how would you handle if you had to be in, like, real close proximity? Like, this person was a real step friend of one of your anchors. How do you handle that?

[Jameela]

Well, I was in a situation where I was actually.

[Mecca]

Oh, you did say that. Yeah.

[Jameela]

A whole different situation. You were there actually for this, where we almost got into a whole physical altercation.

[Mecca]

Yes. You know what's crazy?

[Jameela]

And that was the first time we almost. We. There were three other points where we almost had got into an actual Physical altercation.

[Mecca]

I've told this story several times on.

[Jameela]

TikTok, and yeah, it was crazy because that side. That side friend, what we call him step friend, was. Was barely. That you was. He was barely a step friend. You know what I'm saying? And the thing with me is, unfortunately, I cannot fake it. I cannot fake the funk. You're everything reads with me. I personally just did not like this girl's vibe, her energy. I did not like the way that she talked to people specifically. That rubbed me the wrong way. And I said within myself, without even saying out loud, I won't even allow you to get that close to me, because the moment you talk to me like you talk to them other folks, it's going to be a problem. You ain't finna talk to me like that.

[Mecca]

Let me tell you my perspective of coming into that. So this person that Jamilah's talking about, before we went to whatever the part of this was, I remember you saying, this person's going to be there. Don't like her, hate her. If I remember correctly, she had, like, a certain type of voice, so. Or you like, you just had. You had given descriptors so that I would know who she was. When we got to the party. Cool. We were in a circle. And y' all know I don't even live like that no more. That's how you know this was a long time ago.

[Jameela]

This was like 27.

[Mecca]

A long time ago.

[Jameela]

Possibly.

[Mecca]

I also passed out at this party. So much happened, y'. All. But before I passed out, head hit the wall. We were in a circle, and she came up and tried to press Jameelia. Press. Now when I say press, she tried to press Jameelia. Yeah, there were things going on, the type of party we was at.

[Jameela]

We was at a Greek party, and I was wanting to be an AKA at the time. We can say it now, bitch, I cross. I don't give a damn.

[Mecca]

Well, I didn't know if you wanted to still do the discretion, but you okay, damn. I'm out now. Party.

[Jameela]

I'm out. Out the closet, out. It don't matter now. Yeah.

[Mecca]

So that's what was going on. That's what I knew what was going.

[Jameela]

On at the time. Yes. So it was a. It was a Greek party, and there were akas there who are now my pros. And I wasn't interest at the time. So for. For people who don't understand that, let me kind of give you a quick little boom, boom, boom. If you are an interest for. For a Black, black, black, Greek little organization. There is a way in which you must behave in certain spaces so that you don't look bad, so that you can make sure you get on. And I was a known interest, so it wasn't like I had just stepped foot on campus or anything like that.

[Mecca]

The.

[Jameela]

The. Them ladies knew me and knew I was interest, which means you got eyes on you. So I had to behave a certain way. So you. Yes, I had that in my forefront.

[Mecca]

She had that in her forefront. That was something I also knew. So when the girl came, I remember standing in the circle, and the Mary Jane had just been passed to me. And I remember her direction. She was close to me. Maybe Dwight was right here. I don't remember, but he was close too. Standing right here. Y' all start going back and forth. She insinuates she's about to fight Jamila. So in my head, I'm like, well, we can't. She can't do that right now. Where the fuck we're at? And I just remember specifically saying to her, bitch, if I drop this blunt, I'm gonna beat your ass. It was so much. I don't know what happened after that, but I remember she looked like.

[Jameela]

Yeah, she just kept kind of like.

[Mecca]

It was so much.

[Jameela]

It was ridiculous. Cause she was just drunk. It was just on some drunk shit. That first time was really just on some drunk shit. Like. And I wasn't even really taking her seriously. Cause it's like, girl, I don't even. I don't even fight. Like, I don't fight. I don't even really cuss people out like that. Because I'm Jamila. I don't know. I'm here. I'm. I'm here to. To dance. I'm here to act a fool, bitch. I'm not here to cuss people out. Like, that's not what I'm known for. If anybody asks you what Jamila's known for, it's not gonna be like cussing a out. No. But I will if I need to. My God. And I don't ever want you guys to see me in that manner. You should never see me like that. I don't like getting like that. But I did cuss that bitch out. And she just kept trying to, like, ask me why I didn't like her.

[Mecca]

Yes. Okay. I definitely do remember that now.

[Jameela]

Yes. That's all she keeps saying. Why don't you like me? I don't. I don't know. I just don't. You're annoying.

[Mecca]

Yeah. And then not too far after that. After that situation was handled, it was me, you and Dwight standing there. And that's when I passed out. And I remember I fainted. And I just remember her earrings. You'd be like, did you just faint?

[Jameela]

Like, get up?

[Mecca]

And then I woke up. And that's why I don't smoke weed no more.

[Jameela]

So that's Lily why. Yeah. So more of the story is it can get wicked with the step friends. Now, interestingly enough, that step friend's, I guess, step friend situation, nobody disagreed with me because it was just so obviously stupid. And she was just on some weird. And. And I think also, I mean, my friends know me at the end of the day, I don't really have to explain myself too much to my friends. My friends know me and know that I'm not really like on that type of shit. So they already knew, like, bitches being weird. And then on top of that, it continued and I girl, at some point you have to let it go. And so the fact that it kept continuing and she kept trying to like, recruit to hate me or whatever, I'm like that. I don't even know. It was just like, I don't care enough.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And so it's interesting because I don't even think she's friends with anybody else anymore from her original.

[Mecca]

So it's like, well, that worked out. Worked out lovely for you.

[Jameela]

I was never going anywhere.

[Mecca]

If I don't like step friends, I don't have too many step friends I don't like. Because when I've came across step friends who I didn't like, I don't go around them. Yeah. And I think it's one of the things, like, especially the older you get, it's much easier to relay that and be not judged. I feel like when we're in our early 20s, when we're teenagers, why don't you like my friend? Why don't you like my friend? But like, post 25, there's like an understanding that people are different. Not everybody vibes and meshes and people are like the anchor. Friends are also more aware of what friends to bring in. I've. We've talked about this openly before. Elantra is not someone who I would bring around everyone and I wouldn't bring everyone around Elantri. Cause she's a very strict lady and has a very like, specific personality type. So, like, I don't wanna have my friend fucked up over here and I wanna have you fucked up over there. As anchors, we have to be more aware. But Also, as a step friend, if I'm not vibing with your people and that's that here comes in the black. Who all gonna be there?

[Jameela]

Who all gonna be there? And you know, I had seen. I don't know if it was a TikTok tweet something and they was like, black people love asking who I gonna be there. Like, just go.

[Mecca]

No.

[Jameela]

No. And the thing is one thing about me, for the most part, for the most part, I'm gonna go regardless. I just need to be prepared.

[Mecca]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Jameela]

I have to be prepared to know what I'm walking into. Because my energy is. It just will radiate. And if I'm at least prepared, I can know. Okay, you already know this bitch gonna be there. Go ahead and get you some deep breaths. Or versus like, okay, just walk in freely. Because there's nothing that shakes me up. Like going to a space that I feel like is just going to be all my people. And then somebody walks in and I cannot stand. My stomach drops. And it's not even because like I'm scared or nothing. Cuz this could be a man, a girl, anybody. It's just I physically, like, I can physically feel when I'm upset and that's why I don't like. And for those of my girlies out there who have an anxiety disorder, I see you.

[Mecca]

Is that what that is? Yes. I have physical reactions to feelings.

[Jameela]

I have an anxiety disorder where. And I have very physical manifestations of said anxiety. And a lot of things make me be anxious, which causes like heart palpitations, dizziness, stomach, stomach issues, queas. Like, I get very, very queasy. Like, I will feel like I have to throw up.

[Mecca]

One thing about me too upset, I will throw up. I. If I'm too angry, I'll cry. If I'm very upset, I will throw up. If I'm very happy, I can throw up. That's also a thing I do experience. Not so much someone I don't like, but when I see someone I'm not expecting to see and who I don't particularly want to see. Like, it doesn't have to be like, I don't like you, but like, you know, when you see a boy you used to talk to and you're not expecting to do that, that feeling I have perfected my poker face. You will never know. But I don't, I don't like, I don't like that type of shit. I will ignore the fuck out of. Nigga, please don't. We gonna keep it player but, like, if I'm not expecting to see you.

[Jameela]

There, the stomach drop is so real, y'.

[Mecca]

All.

[Jameela]

I be like, mm, Mm.

[Mecca]

I came here to get on n tonight, and it's such a quick moment, Like, a feeling. It's not like it's lasting, but. But it's just a millisecond of, like, I didn't want to feel. It's just so. I don't know, maybe the millisecond so intense that you don't like to feel it. Because one thing about it, last time it happened, it's like, okay, now it's like, boom.

[Jameela]

It feels like slow mobile.

[Mecca]

And then now I have to gas up because I got to be on niggas in front of you all night. Like, oh, my gosh.

[Jameela]

I'd be like, so, yeah, I need to. I just need. I got to know who in the building also, again, because I'm messy.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And now I'm thinking, like, oh, this person. Oh. And then. Oh. So then I get to text him whoever I know. Like, my. My co chair.

[Mecca]

Do you mentally prepare to see people? Possibly. Do you, like, pep talk yourself?

[Jameela]

It depends on who it is.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela]

If it's, like, people I'm always around. No, but if it's, like, a thing, I'm like, okay, like, how is this? And I'll, like, reenact it in my room.

[Mecca]

Yes. I have to reenact all scenarios.

[Jameela]

Yes. And something I'll do now. This is real.

[Mecca]

This is.

[Jameela]

This is for them. Real inner core people. We already. Y' all know how we get down if there is going to be an event. A mass event. When I say a mass event, I mean an event where it brings a lot of people we know together, where there can be so many different interminglings and different things, especially, like, oh, you know, them and them ain't seen each other in a while since so and so. Or you know, this. We prepare for our debrief before we literally do a. A pre meeting for said events, and we talk about what do we think is gonna happen, and we amp it the fuck up. Then we enjoy the event, and while we're at the event, we.

[Mecca]

I don't mind saying this because I feel like I've talked about it. This recently happened at my grandmother's funeral. Okay. So I have a cousin who doesn't like me. Don't like her. Mm. And it's always been that way. It's one of them situations where we just never gelled, even as children. Just never gelled. Blew up in adulthood and Told me the next time she sees me, she gonna be my ass. Well, when are you all gonna see me? Mind you, this was like. This was in 2017. This was a long time ago. We don't hang out. We don't. We're not the same type of. You know, we don't have the same type of struggle. So we weren't. That this would be the only event that she would have seen me at and was correct. But obviously, like, me and Dej have had conversations. Me and my other cousins have, like, oh, so what happens? Because our situation had a whole fallout of, like, family stuff. It was just a lot. But what you're talking about, the prep for the event, then at the event, then keeping it cool at the event. This. At the end of the day, this is how I handled it. This is my grandmother's funeral. No ass whooping is going to happen here. Now, this is her grandmother's. Our grandmothers were sisters. So this not your grandmother and her grandmother were sisters. Roy Dell and L. Rstine. For real. So it was like, you not gonna come to my actual grandmother funeral and cut up. And I know none of my first pills.

[Jameela]

Yeah. Cause you're immediately like, I'm in first line. I'm on the first row, first pew.

[Mecca]

Oh, when she got spoke, she had to look like. She looks right at me. Sunglasses on, dead in the eye. It just. It just is one of those things where I am a person who prepares for that type of thing. I'm also at the point now where, like, Houston is small. I'm seeing Atlanta's kind of small. I'm just always. And then I think with us being very well known at this point, getting to the point we're well known. I have bright red hair and glasses. I go outside. People know me. I just. I. I've really come to this point where my head's on a swivel. I. I have not had as many heart drop situations because every time I go outside, I have mentally prepared for that. I could see someone who I don't want to see. And because I've done that for so long, for the last few years, this situation, I felt like it was funny because my brother Darrington. Messy. Yeah. So I'm saying his name. He thought I had spoke to her. And so he instantly. Mind you. Messy on the front row. Messy. So it's good. Y' all good. But what happened was my dad had. When she was. They had a whole. You know, the first. The family on the first line, everyone from the funeral walk up and Give us. So when she walked past, I did this, but I was taught I was actually. I would have just stared and like, spoke to her children. That was my plan. But my dad, who for context has dementia, disappeared.

[Jameela]

Fred, please. And it's not the time.

[Mecca]

It's not the time. And so I had. I was like. The reason I turned was. Cause when I had did this, I noticed he wasn't in his chair. And so I start scanning.

[Jameela]

He said.

[Mecca]

When I say. And it was okay because, like, it's everyone he's known his whole life, and everyone knows the situation. So I know this was a cool. This was cool for him. Cause he got to walk around, live more freely than he's allowed to. But I did this. Cause I was on some like, hold up, where's my daddy at? And it just happened to be like, when she was walking the pike, so it looked like I had spoken to her. And so that's what. And I was like, no, what the fuck made you think that? I said your daddy had disappeared. He was outside sitting on the pew talking to somebody. I don't know what he was doing, but. And then, you know, I ain't talk to her at the thing and walk past her at the cemetery. I would have said something to her children. But I am a believer that you. I respect that you they mother. You see what I'm saying? Like, if I don't fuck with you and you walking past with your son, I'm not gonna speak to Noah. That's inappropriate.

[Jameela]

I think that I beefed up with you. But y' all beefed up with them kids.

[Mecca]

No, it's not even like that. But it's like, you finna. You finna snatch Noah get your ass.

[Jameela]

Nah. What's crazy is. No, I'm not even gonna go that deep. I'll just. Yeah, but did you hear what I'm saying? Yeah, I didn't.

[Mecca]

I didn't wanna. I didn't want to overstep. Yeah, I'm aware of you.

[Jameela]

Because it could get. It could get messy. Yeah. Cause don't talk to my.

[Mecca]

Don't talk to my kids.

[Jameela]

Don't talk to Noah.

[Mecca]

You know, like, you know him. Don't. Yeah. And don't.

[Jameela]

Yeah, it could get, you know. Yeah, but I mean, like I said, the pre meeting of an event is always so fun and exhilarating. I'm like, h. What? Who do you think going to get into it? You think so? And so going d d you think, woo, woo, woo. And it's like, yeah. And then when you get there. And then when we predict something that actually happened. Girl, what are you doing?

[Mecca]

I'm so sorry. Like, it's just. It's. I keep bringing my grandma's funeral up because we have been mentally prepared for this for years. And everything that we thought was gonna happen really happened. And it just, I think, goes to show, like, you really know your family. I said, ugh. They finna be up here hootin hollering. They finna be yelling at each other. They finna be getting mad. I remember my uncle said, d, I don't have time for this, man. Derek looking at me like, here we go. Here we go.

[Jameela]

My favorite thing is when it happens like this. Mind you, it's so funny. Black people are so fucking funny, bro. We're so, like. We have so many languages that are not languages I'm going to imitate. This is specifically for me and my siblings. Right? This is specifically for me and my siblings. Nobody else would catch it. When something happens that we know is a thing, mind you, it doesn't even have to be something that's going to make sense to anybody else. But we are so connected. If something happens that is a thing that we're going to talk about later. Let me tell you what we do. It's so simple. Watch. It's that quick.

[Mecca]

I feel like from across the room. And the thing.

[Jameela]

And what's really funny, sometimes when you can't find them, you buy this.

[Mecca]

No, mind. You let me first.

[Jameela]

And that's all I need.

[Mecca]

When my uncle screamed at Darrington. Darrington didn't ride in the limo with us. So what happened? As I'm rolling past the limo? We did exactly that. I'm out the window. We're gonna laugh about that later.

[Jameela]

It's almost like timestamp that.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Hold on. Why did you get chewed out? And I told you you were gonna get chewed out.

[Jameela]

And if you. If you ever see this right here for me, just know some is me talking, opening the phone. Now this me.

[Mecca]

Mm. Oh, I'm glad I'm good for.

[Jameela]

If I see my sister or my brother not checking their phone. Yeah, check that phone. They know we got cues for everything we hit them with.

[Mecca]

And then when something becomes an inside joke for something greater, I gotta tell you something else that happened. But it's just like, this is now going to mean something else.

[Jameela]

This is now inundated into our culture, our language. Thank you. I needed this moment, unfortunately, to happen so that I can now use this for that and continue on. We have so many of Those moments, and I need them. I need them into me because it's.

[Mecca]

Like those are the moments that keep me alive. Like, go, now we're. We're all step friends and we're going into siblings and specifically like black siblinghood. It's like the way having to watch and deal with my dad and his siblings and them being in their 60s and 70s, it's like this never really changes. Y' all still just don't cuss and fuss and y' all be old as hell.

[Jameela]

Family, especially of that certain age. Family does not. They don't change. They might evolve, but it's going to be the same thing. I can. The way you can predict your family the same way over here. Like. And it's so interesting being around my family on both sides, honestly. But definitely my dad's side of them, because my dad's side of the family is a. Is just structured differently because my dad's side of the family is very much two parent household and a very linear family tree versus my mom's side of the family is not necessarily two parent household, same parents, but broken home. So many different spawns, so many different branches. Because my grandfather was like one of 14. It was like a very. Just widely spread. So it's a whole bunch of different sporadic things going on. And it kind of depends on what part of the family you're around versus my dad's side of the family. We are all one family. It's like the entire. It's like one linear tree, one branch, you know, and so because it's one branch, it's. It's almost like. It's almost like you're closer by nature because there was not as many people and you know exactly where you come from in that moment. And I feel like the. The dynamic is just so different. It's like this is like when we say the family, it's right there. Versus with my mom's side, it's like, well, which. Which who.

[Mecca]

Who are you talking about? Because you.

[Jameela]

You got to give the last name.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Is it them hunts? Is it them reeds?

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Like, which ones? Is it, like, which family is you talk about? Cause it's so many different branches, and I don't even remember my point. I just was going.

[Mecca]

You were just talking about the linear.

[Jameela]

Yes.

[Mecca]

I have one more question for you because at this point in. In the span of this podcast existence, Jamila and I have, y' all watched us lose both of our grandmothers. So we are now both grandparentless. Yes. Crazy club. To be a Part of. And what. I was talking to my cousins about this pastime we had.

[Jameela]

We.

[Mecca]

We sat there and wrote this whole family tree out because my Grandma was, like, one of 10, 11. Then she herself had nine, 10 kids. So, like, when. When I think of, like, the. What you're talking about, like, the line of the family, I'm actually talking about my grandmother's, like, a group of her kids. Not even all of her kids, because I had my dad's old. I was meeting my dad's oldest brother's children at the funeral, but I didn't know them because my dad is born in 1950, and Willie was born in 1946 or something like that. So it's like they're so much older than me being, like, disconnected from, I guess, branches that you grew up being connected to. Kind of like how I know y' all have the big house, but, like, we don't have, like. We just have my grandmother's siblings. How am I trying to say this? There is no. There is no anchor no more. There's no. There's no reason for me to really be talking to my grandmother's sisters, great grandchildren. There is no motivation there because it's actually so much difference and so. So much space and time. And the only reason that we were coming together was because of her and them. And then as my dad. Like my dad's generation, they're all first cousins, but even them, they're in their 70s now. They're in the mid-70s, going into 80s. So it's like we're just talking about this generational divide, and it's really crazy to think about.

[Jameela]

Very crazy. And it's something that we knew was going to happen, because we knew. And it's. It's on both sides of my family. So with my mom's side of the family, my grandmother was absolutely the matriarch of the family, specifically because she was the oldest sibling from her bunch.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And her sisters and her brothers. But she had more sisters. They were all way younger than her. So she was almost their mother. Like, she operated as their mother more so than an older sister, because one of her sisters is literally closer to my mom's age.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

So it's literally like that. And then on top of that, like I said, it's a very large family. On my mom's side, there are so many different things that have happened that cause people to kind of drift away and stuff like that. And we knew that my grandmother passing on that side was going to drift. Drastically change how people interacted. With each other because there's no centralized like point of connection. She was our central point of connection in that way. And then on the flip side, I think it made it easier for people to distance themselves because there's tension on both sides of the family. Right. There's just tension. Like everybody's family has their things really over nothing. Right. And on my dad's side, the problems that we have are so. And I wish they would get this and I hope they listen to this. They're so minimal and they're so non existent. Especially now that my. Both of my grandparents are gone.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And it's so interesting to see grown folks be so attached to a problem when you can literally just decide to let it go. It's not that serious. And so watching that happen and, and then with when my grandparents were alive and even when further back when my grandfather's dementia was not as strong, when it hadn't progressed as much, they were the people to tell everybody shut the fuck up. They were the ones to be like, stop all that.

[Mecca]

I was. Yeah, no, that. And, and see when you lose the person who. Telling everyone to shut the fuck up.

[Jameela]

And nobody wanted to look like that in front of my Grandma Dorothy because she's. She didn't like all of that. And so we had a certain level that we would get to and every. If she right there it now, you know, you know, mama sitting up there in the chair. So people would kind of bring it down. There is no. We don't have nobody to look good in front of. Everybody wanted to look good to Grandma Dorothy. Everybody wanted to appear perfect and to appear good. And now that they're not there, the arguments are extended. I feel like. And what's interesting, I told my sister and my brother, I was like, I seriously feel like somebody got to be Dorothy because nobody is. Nobody is scared of looking bad.

[Mecca]

I was literally thinking this. I was looking. And I know who is stepping up as a matriarch in my family amongst my dad's siblings. And it's so crazy. Like, this is what I'm talking about. You're seeing the actual shift of the guard. You're seeing one supreme die and another one quite literally rise. And it's. It's insane to see in real time cuz you're like, wow, you. We've kind of been watching you like take on the role, but now that like she's actually transitioned like, this is you, this is you now. This is what it is.

[Jameela]

Yeah. And it's like y' all literally have y' all got some decisions to make. And I said. And I've said this to them too. And I'll keep saying it again to all sides of my family, because everybody, everybody really has the same problem of not letting shit go, not happened in 1985 go. And not being willing to be like, you know what? I know this thing happened. Now there are some things nobody should let go. And you all know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. Fuck that, nigga. But a lot of the shit is just. It's just pointless. Right? I need everybody in my family on both sides to get a fucking grip and to understand that that literally does not matter, like, at the all. And our family is not growing at the same speed it once was. And that's something that I noticed too. That's important because while our elders were growing up and our parents were kind of stepping into adulthood, they're having babies and growing their family. We are growing at now a slower pace because that's just the times. So as we do have a lot of people leaving us, we don't have a lot of people replacing them. So it's like your family is disappearing in front of your eyes. And so before you know it, you're not going to have no more family left. And are you going to be okay with that? Are you making peace with the people that leave? You ask yourself if. If one of your family members leave today, have you made peace with that? Something I always say, like, even though, like, it is tearing me up that I don't have these people, I. I have no guilt in my heart.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Can you say the same thing? How did you walk and carry it.

[Mecca]

To your point about family disappearing? I think, like, with my mom's side of the family by. Everyone is in Kenya. Like, my mom is the only one who's in America. So I actually have a good balance of seeing both. Like, when you have a very large family and then it's really just you over here. And I have to say, like, it's like sometimes I'm like, what, what, what do I want for myself? Do I want to be so far removed? Because you would think, like, dealing with a lot of people, dealing with all the stuff is, you know, it's. It's a lot dealing with a lot of personalities, a lot of people. But then it's like, sometimes I'll be looking at my mom and it's like, her sister is not in the country. They're getting older. And right now the conversation's happening is she's telling my Cousins who are here like you. Your parents need to come back to America. Unless y' all going back to can you. Because your parents is getting older and you need to take care of them. That's what that. And these are the real conversations that are happening. But it's like it's not a whole bunch of people that could take care of them. So I'm like, it really does serve you community is. Is what it is at the end day. That's what I'm going say. Keeping your family close.

[Jameela]

And your family is your first community.

[Mecca]

And your family is your first community. And how you operate with your family and the boundaries and the things that you accept in your family. I know family supposed to always be there for each other, but there are some things that we absolutely. We should not accept from each other. There are boundaries that should be put up from a young point so that people know like this is not something that this family, you know, accepts.

[Jameela]

Yeah. And I think I was going to say I feel like not to be unserious, but I do feel like that is why I am very, very strong on looking for a partner that values family. Because that tells me about how you operate in, in general. Because if you are not, if you don't. If you don't have the idea that you want to preserve family and preserve community, we're never going to be compatible.

[Mecca]

We're not.

[Jameela]

Because as up as my family may be on both sides and having all their things, I have cross continents over here. Right. I have not decided to now remove myself from my family. I'm not saying my family like I'm not. I'm not there. And it has gotten definitely to a point where I've had to take space and take moments and have boundaries for my family. But I still want so bad for both sides of my family to. To have some level of peace.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And I think that that is like the standard just wanting that moment of like, we should all at least be good. And I take that throughout. Same thing with my friends. I don't want there to be. I don't like issues with my friends at all. If there is an issue, I'm going to speak on it. Let's figure out how we can do. Because I don't like this feeling. It literally makes me sick. I was. Me and my. One of my best friends were in a situation like a year and a half ago. I kid you not. Could not sleep, could not eat while that time we were not speaking, could not. I said, enough, enough.

[Mecca]

I. I can't do this. I don't.

[Jameela]

I don't like confrontation. I do not like tension. I. I do not like uncomfortableness. I do not like. I don't like none of. I need to be happy at all. And I know people be like, that's so not realistic. I don't care. I want to be happy all the fucking time. I do not like feeling those feelings. And I'm going to. I'm going to say something like, bitch, God damn it. And that's why I got so many fucking family phone calls to make now. God damn it. Y' all finna talk.

[Mecca]

Y' all are gonna talk.

[Jameela]

Well, y', all, it's been a talk and fix this shit.

[Mecca]

Oh, my Talking last week.

[Jameela]

So I feel like Janet Jackson and why fix it on this list?

[Mecca]

Damn it.

[Jameela]

I'm sick of y' all shit.

[Mecca]

Fuck y' all already. Not having Bab. Well, we not having babies. I had my.

[Jameela]

I did my part.

[Mecca]

I did my part.

[Jameela]

That's all I got for y'. All. I can't have much more.

[Mecca]

I'm being punished by the tax. By the tax folks for not having a baby. I'm not going to let it go, child. I can't believe this. All right, let's get into our segment. Spin it. This is where you send your low down your gutter snipe, your nasty, dirty, messy situations in for me and Jamila to give you a little bit of advice on. But more importantly, give it a PR spin. Now, keep in mind, Jamila and I are not PR professionals. We just studied it in undergrad. Be sure to email your situations to at unhinged Anymore pod gmail dot com. Please don't forget to include your race, your gender, your sexual orientation, your age, your political affiliations, and if you're a man, you're right, it does matter.

[Jameela]

What do we have this week, period? The title of this is Prom is stressing me out. Oh, prom. H. We get to talk about. We keep getting the babies. How fun. Hey, y'.

[Mecca]

All.

[Jameela]

So I'm a senior in high school and prom is on April. Okay, so just let you guys know sometimes read these out of order. Okay. You guys send us a lot of spinach. And sometimes we can't necessarily get to it on the week that it was sent. So sometimes the. The advice may be a. A week in a year to. To.

[Mecca]

To.

[Jameela]

To pass. I'm sorry, but I'm sure somebody can still benefit from this advice. So just know if you send us your advice and you waiting on us to. To tell you what to do before you do it. You might be waiting for a while, but just know we're gonna get to you. Anyways, let's get back to this. I'm a senior in high school and my prom is on April 5, three days before my birthday. I don't know about other schools, but from what I've heard, everyone goes single or with a group of friends. But in my school, that's what homecoming is for. And prom is for the couples, especially the seniors. So to start early, I've already been scouting out my object of the night. And the only downside to me in this situation is that boys don't come up to me. Me, it's not because I'm ugly. I know I'm far from that. But I always hear through one of my homeboys that their boy is into me. And then on top of all of that, I've never had a boyfriend, first kiss or any of that. So I'm at least trying to live a little bit. But it's hard when you know who's. When you don't know who's into you. I'm also the type of person that doesn't like talking to a guy first. If you, if you finish reading. Thank you so much. And I understand if y' all ain't want to read all of this. I also start college next fall. Baby. That was the shortest spin it ever. Talking about something you don't, baby. Thank you for that. Oh, you're so mean.

[Mecca]

So what was the question? I'm sorry.

[Jameela]

Basically, she's going to prom.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jameela]

And she's wondering how she should get a date. Oh, okay.

[Mecca]

That's what I was.

[Jameela]

I was saying she doesn't really date a lot. Prom is usually for the, you know, the dates she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to go with a friend or group. Cause that's like. She says that that's homecoming. Sh. She want to go with a boo thing for her senior homecoming. Cuz that's what the. That's what the. The babies is doing.

[Mecca]

I went to prom with my cousin.

[Jameela]

So listen when I tell you I so identify with you on every level. This was me in high school. I did not get approached in high school. I did not date in high school. I did not talk to no boys in high school. Nobody was trying to talk to me. I was trying to talk to every damn body. I was hot in the pants. I wanted somebody to like me, but it just was not happening. I did not think I was ugly, but I also knew I. I'VE always had self awareness. I knew that I appeared very, very young because I wore my hair very curly. I had a lot of acne. I dress a little crazy, but I still thought it was so chic and fab. But I was just my own individual. I was in chorus. I was doing skits. I was kind of a little oddball. I was fighting the power bitch. I was not the choice. I was not the prime pick. And a little bit of me made peace with it, but a little bit of me was like, I want. I want a kiss.

[Mecca]

When is it my turn?

[Jameela]

When is somebody gonna finger me in the movie theater? That wasn't happening.

[Mecca]

That actually did happen. Did I tell you accidentally dry snitched on a girl in my church?

[Jameela]

Oh, God, of course you did. Messy mess. So, yeah, I get all of your things, right? Here's what I will say. I will tell you my prom experience, and then I will tell you what. What I think you should, you know, do. I went to prom with my best friend Dwight. We're still best friends to this day. We was both single. They have no goddamn body. And what the fuck was he gonna do? We went to prom together. Interestingly enough, though, I did have a boyfriend during prom. He had graduated a year before, so I kind of wanted to go to prom with him, but I also had wanted to go with Dwight. So I was kind of like, whatever. That straight up told me he was not going to. He was not going to my prom. I said, okay. So it was like, whatever. I didn't even have the choice. What I will say is this prom was so much fun for me because I want my best friend. And I was, with all of my besties, literally went, like, we went, of course, with him. And it was like a group of us, like, and everybody had a date. Well, everybody, I think only two people didn't have a day. But it was still cool. Like, we was all cool, right? Everybody had their days, but we went there and we had a blast. I barely have evidence of prom because it was so much fun. You can go right now, actually, on my YouTube channel and see me getting ready for prom and, like, see that I did, like, a little prom get ready because I was, you know, a YouTuber back in the day. And it went up a little bit and it was. I. Sometimes I go back and watch and be like, look at us. We were, we were, we, we. I say all that to say going with a boyfriend or girlfriend in prom may not be the thing that you think it's going to be. Only because, and I hate to tell you this, baby, you not going to be with that person forever. As a matter of fact, you probably going to break up with them as soon as you step foot on that college campus. And so imagine thinking back to your prom and not being able to really relish in all of the memories and joys of prom because you was. It's wrapped up within a romantic partner that you don't like no more. It could end badly. But now some people still look back at their prom, even though they went with the boyfriend or girlfriend that they not with, and still be like, I still have fun with my little boo thing. It could still be that. But you don't necessarily know. So I'm saying don't pressure yourself into getting to that. It don't mean that you're not gonna have a good time. It don't mean that you're not gonna, like, love those memories, too.

[Mecca]

I agree. Just to piggyback off what Jamila said, I went to prom with my cousin, and it is one of the best memories of high school.

[Jameela]

I had your cousin as a boy or girl?

[Mecca]

Boy. Okay. My cousin Hiram. And Hollis came. He went with one of my homegirls. And first of all, what you said was you wanted to find a date like a boy, and you sent this right before prom. That means that's not your boyfriend. Y' all don't have a good rapport. So it's like someone. You just trying to find someone. So the prom will give a first date. First dates are horrible. They suck. It doesn't matter what age you are. First dates are the shitter. Right? So the thing about prom is what Jamila said, you want to go with people you're familiar with who are going to have fun. The things I remember about prom is we were dancing in the middle of dance floor, we were screaming, we were rolling around the floor like, I had so much fun. But I have fun because I was literally with, like, people I was very familiar with and who were very familiar with me and who we didn't mind cutting up and dancing like no one was watching, because that's exactly what we did. Now when you're on a date, a first date doesn't matter what age. You're very aware of how you look, how you're eating.

[Jameela]

You're gonna be so you're gonna be.

[Mecca]

It's gonna be such a drag. And it's like prom is like the send off of high school, especially senior prom. Like, that's the. That's the real deal. I Feel like.

[Jameela]

And I'm glad I. I waited to senior prom. Unlike some of you ever. He wanted to go every goddamn year. Slow down, bitch. Slow down, bitch.

[Mecca]

Who do you think you are? Do you think you're a cool girl?

[Jameela]

Cuz you went three times for certain age groups and. And this is one of my ministries. And as someone who always wanted to be grown, trust me on this. I. If I could have gone freshman year, I would have because I just wanted to be grown. That's all I wanted to do in my life, I've ever wanted to be.

[Mecca]

Was grown, y'. All.

[Jameela]

I. I mean that when I say that I've always wanted to be a grown. Ass so juicy. It's so tea, if I'm not gonna lie.

[Mecca]

Not the taxes, but if I could.

[Jameela]

Have been a freshman going to that senior prom, I would have gone. But I'm so glad the opportunity didn't present itself. And I'm so glad my parents was like, please, cuz you got to pay for that, right?

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Some is for the age that it says. It says it is, right?

[Mecca]

Junior, senior.

[Jameela]

Go when you are supposed to go.

[Mecca]

And no sh. I didn't even do junior prom. No.

[Jameela]

We didn't even have a junior prom. We had. We only had a senior prom. Some juniors went, but you had. It's a senior prom, right? The thing is, the more you do stuff, the more it gets diluted.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

We only. I only had one promise. I had one prom, one night only. One night. One night only to have the time of my life with all of my friends from high school. And we would. When I tell you that cannot be replicated.

[Mecca]

Dina's version was better.

[Jameela]

It cannot be replicated. And it really can't. That goes for so much.

[Mecca]

So much. So much like no dead ass. I. I didn't. I went to all the homecoming dances, all. All the winter formals, but I only went to my senior prom. And so I'm able to really recall what senior prom was for me. I didn't care about the little things that I think you would care about on a first date. I didn't even care about little things I think that I would care about if I was with a boy that I liked. Because I didn't care about shit because I went with my friends, I went with my cousins and we had. My cousin's uncle drove, like not the slow bus, but the bus for the senior citizens. So we did. Van no, with us. We didn't have a limo.

[Jameela]

We didn't either. We all drove individually, met up at something, baby.

[Mecca]

We pulled up in the old people bus with the. With the wheelchair thing, with the. With the handicap accessibility child. We.

[Jameela]

That little gate. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Mecca]

It wasn't the yellow bus. It was the white bus for the older folks for the senior sister home. But. But that's not the point. It was just so fun. It was like we didn't give a fuck that we was in that bus. We was, ah. Like we had. And mind you, I didn't drink. I know a lot of y'. All.

[Jameela]

Yeah, we didn't drink at all. A lot of y' all, we had. Let me tell you. Our school was very strict. They showed us. This was like the week. The week of prom. They showed us this video of somebody getting drunk and dying prom night. To scare us, right? And they showed us that little video. They said, this will happen to you if you drink. As a matter of fact, we will have breathalyzers upon entry. They had these things to scan us for alcohol. Like they were not playing that. The white kids though, got up after because the white kids were doing drugs and alcohols way, baby.

[Mecca]

I went home, I had a dance.

[Jameela]

Black folks, we just were not. We weren't even doing that. Like some of the was smoking weed for sure, like started in, but we just wasn't on that yet.

[Mecca]

I had.

[Jameela]

I had full intention to lose my virginity that night to my boyfriend, though.

[Mecca]

If you're a listener. Jamila has literally told us this before. She's given us the whole layout of how it went too. Didn't lose your virginity.

[Jameela]

I did not, unfortunately.

[Mecca]

Yeah, went like that.

[Jameela]

But did suck a little pee.

[Mecca]

No. And that's not what we're telling you to do. We're not telling you to do that. Please don't get on your parents and be like, bitches are telling kids to suck dick. That's not what's happening right now.

[Jameela]

And maybe I am. I just feel like this is another. This is a part of it. Doing things that's age appropriate. I feel like a senior in high school sucking dick. Makes sense. Okay, that sounds crazy. When I.

[Mecca]

This was the issue with the recording yesterday. Somebody gots to be the adult.

[Jameela]

Listen, I fully don't think that kids.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say let's transition. Cause I have.

[Jameela]

I was gonna say, I fully think.

[Mecca]

Here's.

[Jameela]

This is why. This is why I said that. I fully, fully believe in my heart of hearts that if you are in high school and younger, you should not be having sex. You should not be having penetrative sex. You should not be really having sex at all because you're just not ready for it. Sorry.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela]

I hate to be a prude. Right. That being said, I do understand sexual exploration.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

At late teenage years. And that's why I said me. If I hear that a teenager in high school was sucking a little bit.

[Mecca]

Of a little finger, a little sucking.

[Jameela]

Dick, I'm like, okay, that's age appropriate sexual awakening. You're trying to, you're chesting the waters. You're flicking beans and you're touching and you're grabbing and you're humping. Dry hump. Let me tell you something, sister.

[Mecca]

Please don't tell these children about dry humping.

[Jameela]

I'm just telling you that a heavy kiss will do more for you at 17 than you'll ever experience in your life. So do that. Heavy kiss.

[Mecca]

No, she's not lying. But what, what I think is like the slippery slope. It's like you be knowing shit is happening and it's like even as adults, like you can't necessarily condone it. Do you get what I'm saying?

[Jameela]

I'm not condoning.

[Mecca]

No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not even insinuating that you're condoning. But I'm saying the line that we walk now is the, the what is it? The, the parents who, it's like they chastise their kids, close the door and then laugh with each other because it's like, well, that is what you're going to do. But we do have to, to appear stern and because we're adults and like all that type of thing. So it's like, I remember I was experiencing this with like little moms and having to really learn it in real time just kind of like some of the, was like, I mean, I think this is funny, but I can't laugh to you because I can't think it's funny in front of you. So I say all that to say.

[Jameela]

But I'm not this person's parent.

[Mecca]

No, you're not. So unfortunately, do I think teenagers suck dick. I know teenagers sucked it.

[Jameela]

They do, they do. Teenager.

[Mecca]

I was a teenager.

[Jameela]

Yeah. And that's why I, I feel like I, I, I always want to, especially with sex talk. I'm very, very adamant on like positive sex talk because it does change. It has, it has good outcomes. The studies have shown positive teenage pregnancy is down, guys.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Like you should be, you should have positive sex talk. And, and, and I try my best to not get into the old.

[Mecca]

Don't do, don't don't.

[Jameela]

Because that's not real. And I know if you watching Unhinged no more, you want the real, sister? And I'll give you the real in high school.

[Mecca]

Watching unhinged them all. You listen to us talk, then you bad. You know more than you need to know at this point.

[Jameela]

Badass.

[Mecca]

But keep watching Hot in the pants.

[Jameela]

But yeah, I don't think listen. And I'm going to say it again. Listen to your TT Jamila. Your big sister, big cousin Jamila. I don't think y' all little fast asses should be having sex in high school. I don't. I do not think high schoolers should be having sex at all.

[Mecca]

Okay?

[Jameela]

I do not think y' all should be having sex. However common. I do know what it's like to be in high school. And that thing, thump.

[Mecca]

You're like, what is that?

[Jameela]

I know. Yeah, it's a thump you'll never feel again.

[Mecca]

Humping pillows. You licking walls. You hump. Shout out to Mel Mitch. You hump in the damn tub.

[Jameela]

And this is where I will encourage you to get to know yourself.

[Mecca]

This a dj.

[Jameela]

Use your fl.

[Mecca]

You can't get in trouble with your fingers.

[Jameela]

You can never do that. So, yeah, I, I, I encourage teenagers to be sexually explorative with themselves.

[Mecca]

Within reason.

[Jameela]

Within reason. And I also encourage you to figure it out. And sometimes that means you got to kiss a boy. I, I, I think that's okay. Kiss that boy. Feel those feelings. But just know that sex is for adults. I'm so sorry.

[Mecca]

It is.

[Jameela]

I'm not gonna, I'm not, I've never, I'm never gonna be that cool.

[Mecca]

I'm not that cool.

[Jameela]

And that's coming from somebody I wanted to have sex with so bad in high school. But I was scared, Boots. I just wanted to hurt. But I wanted to bump. I wanted, I wanted to. What you say I'm trying to bump some. Trust me, I get it. It's just a feeling, though. That's just, that's a physical feeling. That's not. You know what I'm saying? And let me tell you something. You're not gonna enjoy it, sister.

[Mecca]

Brother. It's so bad the first few times.

[Jameela]

You'Re not gonna, you're not gonna enjoy it. And I want you to be of an age where you have a little bit more wherewithal. And to be honest with you, me losing my virginity at 18, I might as well have been 17. So you the same. That's the same.

[Mecca]

Just wait. You know, you could just. And you know what? Do the respectable thing. How me and Jamila. I lost my virginity in college. You know how much respect we get. And we wasn't that much different. Like I said, the mindset wasn't that.

[Jameela]

Much different, mind you. Like I said, I might as well have been 17. It was.

[Mecca]

It was terrible.

[Jameela]

Freshman year, first semester, third week, I.

[Mecca]

Told that boy to use the same condom. He said, I had one. I said, okay, take it off and use it again up in the brain. Guys, we got to teach the sex that in class.

[Jameela]

And this is why we teach positive Christians.

[Mecca]

Teach your kids about their bodies, especially your daughters.

[Jameela]

Positive sex information is always going to be better. Stop telling your kids not to have sex and tell them about sex, okay? Tell them all the things about sex and allow them to make those decisions decision on their own. I guarantee you they will make better decisions.

[Mecca]

And just because your daughter wants to use a tampon doesn't mean she's.

[Jameela]

Oh my God. Where did we get that from? Yeah, I.

[Mecca]

The only reason my mama let me use a tampon dead the is because I was on swim team.

[Jameela]

I was really just scared of using a tampon, so I didn't want to.

[Mecca]

Well, I didn't have a choice because I couldn't bleed in the couldn't.

[Jameela]

I mean, we didn't want no pad floating.

[Mecca]

It just sounded like you gonna have.

[Jameela]

To figure out to use that. Yeah, I. No. I was so deathly afraid of tampons, y'.

[Mecca]

All.

[Jameela]

Cause I was like, that's too close to fucking. And I heard that hurt.

[Mecca]

You.

[Jameela]

You tell me something hurt and I believe you.

[Mecca]

No, I believe you.

[Jameela]

And everyone said that fucking hurt your first time.

[Mecca]

I said, well, I'm not doing it.

[Jameela]

I knew it was gonna hurt.

[Mecca]

It hurt more than I thought.

[Jameela]

I didn't even wanna get fingered. I just. I didn't. I was so scared.

[Mecca]

Don't. No, no nothing. Just kiss me on my neck.

[Jameela]

That's all I needed. Can you kiss me on my neck? That's all I needed. And that's all I need today too.

[Mecca]

Rev it up. Rev it up. Let me take you. We go back. Go get to the spill.

[Jameela]

I always go back to my roots when I'm with a boy.

[Mecca]

Just kiss me. Kiss my neck. That's gonna get me right. Just a little.

[Jameela]

Let's just kiss and cuddle, please. I'm just kidding me.

[Mecca]

What the Mormon girls call ceiling. Yeah.

[Jameela]

Let me just lay here.

[Mecca]

Yeah, the Mormon bitches is freaks. Well, this has been another episode of Being a woman. Oh, how I love Being a woman.

[Jameela]

You know what's funny? You know how like in like the early 2000s, late 2000s, they make this joke on Family Guy all the time. But it was like a running joke in like TV and media that like the idea of a woman's orgasm is like not real because we don't quote, unquote, ejaculate in the same way men do. You know, like, that was like a running joke across media. I think it's funny because I actually, what's. What really happens is like, women actually more than likely experience more pleasurable orgasms than men because we have way more nerve endings in our clitoris than they do in their penis.

[Mecca]

I believe that because when I turn that rose up on Turbo, my God.

[Jameela]

Burning that down, it takes. So it's like take all the three seconds and then on top of that we have the ability to go back and back and back and back and back and back and back and back.

[Mecca]

And back and back. Just let me.

[Jameela]

And men don't necessarily have that same capac, you know, that. That capacity. Especially if.

[Mecca]

Cuz.

[Jameela]

Cuz some of them, a lot of them kind of go soft after one and they kind of need a little moment to kind of get it back up. And even then it kind of takes them a longer time.

[Mecca]

Not me.

[Jameela]

Not with women. Actually, once you get that first one out the way, I'm going, what?

[Mecca]

What? J. So going bag to back.

[Jameela]

Hey, B to B.

[Mecca]

So if you'll learn about that later, young grasshopper.

[Jameela]

Sex is one of my special interests, actually.

[Mecca]

Really?

[Jameela]

I really enjoy the Kama Sutra. Do I have the common suit? Well, you know, like the book.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

No.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela]

I've read little pieces of it. I did not even like. Because that sounds really like freaked out. Like a freaked out. Like not in a freaked out way. It just really intrigues me. Like the human body and like, like anatomy.

[Mecca]

Like how a man's G spots in his butt.

[Jameela]

Yes. All of those things just really intrigued me. Like, not even on them. Like, oh, I watch porn all the time because like, I really don't. But like, reading about like just the way in which our bodies receive pleasure in different ways is very intriguing to me. So, yeah.

[Mecca]

Kind of like how when you put hot water on eczema, it has the same feeling of like orgasm or like when you're cleaning your ear with the water, it's like, yeah, very pleasurable.

[Jameela]

Oxytocin.

[Mecca]

Oh, she does read about the body.

[Jameela]

It's also the same hormone that induces labor.

[Mecca]

Maybe I don't need it.

[Jameela]

It's a powerful hormone. Stimulating, which is why you can actually help increase your contractions by nipple stimulation, pressure points in the foot, and even clitoral stimulation.

[Mecca]

So if you're trying to get that baby out of you go that man. Or at least pull the dildo out.

[Jameela]

It's. It's literally something I tell myself.

[Mecca]

They're telling you to walk it off. Get in the I tell.

[Jameela]

And. And this is what I tell my clients. It is safe to have sex up until the point that water is broken and you have no complications.

[Mecca]

The dick will not hit the baby's head. Nope.

[Jameela]

And it's go have fun.

[Mecca]

I plan on it. When I'm pregnant. I plan on fucking till the day that I die.

[Jameela]

And I mean the day.

[Mecca]

And I mean.

[Jameela]

And I mean, I better have got some dick the day that I die. That better be the last meal I had with some dick like, Jesus, I'm gonna be in that castle like this.

[Mecca]

Ugh. Lord, please give me two seconds. Let me call Jimmy.

[Jameela]

Just in that cassette.

[Mecca]

Like.

[Jameela]

Ugh.

[Mecca]

Matter of fact, bury us together. Mm.

[Jameela]

So for eternity, bury me with my legs crossed. I can get one more legs open, please.

[Mecca]

You know, sex keeps you young. That's what they say. It keeps you vibrant.

[Jameela]

Well, this is why you need to be 18 over watching this show.

[Mecca]

This is like.

[Jameela]

This is for grown folks.

[Mecca]

This is a grown folks show.

[Jameela]

All right, y'. All, this has been another amazing episode of Unhinged. More. Make sure you guys are subscribed to the Patreon. $8 a month. It gets you early access to episodes, exclusive content, early access to any merch or any deals that we drop. You get it first.

[Mecca]

Well, we don't have any church announcements, I don't think. Nope.

[Jameela]

Just make sure you guys are following us. The top of the year is going to be amazing.

[Mecca]

We are taking a hiatus in January. We want to prep y' all for that. But we will be coming off strong, coming back even stronger in the new year. Thank you for all the support. We know y' all be trying to whip our ass when we go ghost, so we want to prep y'. All. We will be dropping rerun episodes so, you know, older episodes, but there will be. They won't be new drops.

[Jameela]

Yes.

[Mecca]

We have a lot coming up in 20. 26. I'm a crazy year.

[Jameela]

We can be 30 sounds.

[Mecca]

So we've got a lot of going.

[Jameela]

Oh, next year is our third 30. Dirty.

[Mecca]

30. 30. 30, 20. Who. I'm a grown ass.

[Jameela]

What was that, cuz? You just over there adding, what?

[Mecca]

What? What was that? Come again? Fat gal. Fat boom boom gal. I think the Jamaicans in my comments said, don't say it like that. No, I said big. They said, don't say that. Like big is like sloppy. You gotta say fat. Fat pussy gal.

[Jameela]

What's the difference between big and fat?

[Mecca]

Cause the slang in Jamaica, big is like just big. Just big. Like, you don't want to be a big pussy. That's like gaping.

[Jameela]

Oh, like open, open. Okay.

[Mecca]

You want to be a fat pom poom. Okay. Upper fat.

[Jameela]

Gush, gush. A lot of meat.

[Mecca]

A lot of meat. But big is like gaping walls. You don't have no walls. Let's get up out of here. Year.

[Jameela]

See you guys.

[Mecca]

Shout out to Jamaica straight.

[Jameela]

We'll see you next week.