Meg Scoop is UNHINGED

Summary

Podcast Summary: Unhinged & Immoral

Episode: Meg Scoop is UNHINGED
Hosts: Jamila Bell & Mecca Evans
Guest: Meg Scoop (actress, writer, producer, head of production at All Def Digital)
Release Date: December 4, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode features Jamila and Mecca in conversation with Meg Scoop, well-known for her work with All Def Digital and her presence in the Black comedy and digital content space. Together, they dive into Meg’s career journey, women’s experiences in media and production, motherhood, racial identity, and a signature advice segment called "Spin It," where they unpack a wild listener scenario. The conversation is fast-paced, witty, honest, and full of both laughter and deep wisdom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meg’s Journey in Entertainment & All Def Digital

• Career Backstory:

  • Meg shares her early hustle after moving to LA in 2012, balancing multiple jobs and auditioning for opportunities in media.
  • “I had like four or five jobs… hustling, hustling. That’s how it is, right? You want to make your dreams happen, you gotta work.” (03:16, Mecca)
  • Her journey to All Def began with an audition for "The Drop," where she was able to blend her existing skills and confidence to win the spot.
  • She eventually became Head of Production, leveraging both creative and financial experience.
  • “Nothing that you do is ever wasted. Everything builds on itself. …you’ll look back and go, oh, I met this person at that place that helped me to get to here.” (06:09, Mecca)

• Workplace Realities as a Woman:

  • Emphasis on navigating male-dominated spaces in entertainment.
  • Sharing strategies on drawing boundaries with “hand on the back” inappropriate male colleagues, preserving professionalism, and maintaining reputation.
  • "As a woman, your reputation follows you everywhere." (09:06, Mecca)

2. Navigating Patriarchal & Racial Dynamics

• On College Life and Gendered Warnings:
  • Hosts recall how incoming women at HBCUs were warned about safety and reputation in ways men never were.
  • “The talk that the administrators gave us… is not the talk they give the girls now. …Ladies, close those legs.” (10:04, Jamila)
• Balancing Professional Ambition & Stereotypes:
  • Discussing the double bind of being assertive (being labeled "bitchy" or “bossy”), and the evolution toward not caring about those perceptions.
  • “Earlier in my career, I was [worried about being called bitchy]. Now, I don’t. …Now it’s, I know God, I network with him. He know everybody. I don’t need you for that.” (12:24, Mecca)

3. Motherhood, Maternal Health, and Birth Stories

• Being 'The Mom' at All Def:

  • Meg's experience as the only woman and later the “mom figure” among male colleagues.
  • “They’re like, yo, you got a penis in your body… Like, you guys are so fifth graders.” (16:14, Mecca)

• Pregnancy & Medical Advocacy:

  • First-time pregnancy in LA with a doula, learning the importance of self-advocacy and the hospital’s prioritization of liability over patient preference.
  • “The hospital really worries about their liability over your safety…they’re gonna choose themselves every time.” (18:16, Mecca)
  • “I can just see how… it is so easy to overlook Black women and their pain.” (19:50, Mecca)
  • The value and necessity of doulas and midwives, especially for Black maternal health, and the reality of systemic bias in medical care.

• Host Jamila's Doula Experience:

  • Confirms and adds practical insights from her client-based advocacy, reflects on how family dynamics can affect birth, and shares practical stories about supporting laboring clients.

4. Comedy, Representation, and Mentorship

• All Def Digital’s Impact:
  • All Def seen as the “Black BuzzFeed,” launching numerous comedy careers. Meg recalls its laid-back, family-like atmosphere and discusses the difference women make in adding diversity and representation.
• Challenges for Women in Comedy:
  • The work of being “quick” in comedic settings, especially with men; how pressure breeds skill.
  • “You need to… Especially with the boys. You gotta be fast because boys are…” (36:02, Mecca)
  • Discussing the freedom men have in comedy to be silly vs. expectations placed on women, and how that shaped comedic growth for all three.

5. Identity: Race, Gender, and Sorority Life

• Blasian Identity in the South:
  • Meg explores her Korean and Black background, her mother’s wisdom preparing her for being racialized as Black in America, and the complex dynamics between Black and Asian communities.
  • “It was very amazing my Korean mom understood that…because that helped shape my identity. …I know what you’re seeing.” (47:03, Mecca)
• Greek Life:
  • Reflection on being a Delta Sigma Theta, the legacy, and intra-sorority culture with humor and warmth:
  • “I like the Deltas because y’all whoop ass if you have to. Every time.” (52:06, Jamila)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On skills and fate:

  • “Every little place I’ve ever worked—use this in some kind of way. I don’t know how, but I’m gonna...add it to my collection.” (06:33, Jamila)

• On shutting down inappropriate male attention:

  • “As soon as you feel that, you always feel it—you have to immediately shut that shit down, but in a way that doesn’t hurt ego.” (08:38, Mecca)

• On Black motherhood and medical care:

  • “It’s so easy to overlook Black women and their pain. ...Thank God I had a doula who advocated for me.” (19:50, Mecca)

• On being a woman in comedy:

  • “If comedy is your thing, you got to be okay with looking a fucking fool sometimes.” (37:06, Jamila)
  • “As you get older, you don’t care about a lot of stuff anymore.” (38:11, Mecca)

[39:08] Segment Highlight: "Spin It"

Signature advice segment where listeners submit messy life situations for a comedic but real PR “spin.”

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"Spin It" Segment Breakdown

[53:18] – [75:37]

Story: Listener writes in about her “feckless,” freeloading sister Minnie, who tanks the family finances, sponges food, refuses reasonable jobs, and makes disastrous dating choices.

Panel’s Takeaways & Advice:

• “You’re not going to change her; you need to change your situation—start saving, consider moving out, and let your mom see her for what she is.”
• “Some people, it takes them longer…but don’t pick up the ball when she drops it. Make people uncomfortable in your space if they’re taking advantage.”
• “Tell your sister you told her business—maybe she needs to hear the tough love!”

Notable Wisdom (and humor):

• "She’s not feckless, she has no feck. ... I’d start using that word." (59:20, Mecca)
• “When you have that level of closeness with your siblings…sometimes you have to be that bitchy younger sister.” (70:00, Jamila)
• “If comedy is your thing, you gotta be okay with looking a fool sometimes.” (37:06, Jamila)

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Final Topics & Closing Reflections

[76:05]

• Meg’s Current Work:
  • Writing and developing a new TV show, directing at All Def, balancing motherhood.
  • On writing comedy, she emphasizes authenticity and research:
    • “Some of the best writers are researchers. …The people that like your tea love it. You don’t have to write for everybody.” (77:30, Mecca)

Hosts close out with gratitude, invitations to Patreon, and shout-outs.

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Notable Timestamps

• Meg’s All Def Journey: 02:52–06:09
• Being a Woman in Production: 07:53–13:58
• Motherhood Stories: 15:24–19:50
• Black Maternal Health & Doulas: 21:03–27:17
• Comedy and Gender: 32:53–39:08
• Blasian Identity/Sorority Life: 41:17–52:07
• Spin It Segment (Listener Advice): 53:18–75:33
• On Writing & Final Advice: 76:05–77:38

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Summary Tone & Takeaways

The episode is quick-witted, intimate, and brimming with genuine camaraderie. The hosts and Meg switch deftly between comedic asides and heartfelt advice, offering a rare look into Black women’s experiences in media, the unique labor of Black motherhood, and the power of humor as both shield and sword. Their “Spin It” advice segment stands out for its honest, sisterly, and hilarious takes on real family drama, providing both catharsis and strategies for boundary-setting.

This episode is for anyone who enjoys smart, unfiltered conversations about growth, gender, workplace politics, and navigating messy real life—with plenty of laughs and a dash of righteous indignation.

Transcript

[Jamila]

Every holiday shopper's got a list. But Ross shoppers, you've got a mission.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

Dog included. At Ross, holiday magic isn't about spending more. It's about giving more for less.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

She flowing in that cash talk Walk in the booth like Naomi on the catwalk and tell them bitches whoop whoop from the jaguar it ain't even right though Push me and I might go she ain't getting money I'm like what the fuck the hypo? When the bitches bite flow make my appetite go poof gone move Voila. Magic looking mad good just to pull up on them rampant. Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged Moral. I'm your host, Jamila. And I'm your host, Mecca. Today we have a very, very special guest. I know we say that every time but this is just so, so special. We have another member of the all deaf digital squad. We're really collecting them like infinity Stones around these parts. Really? Actress, writer, producer, host, comedian.

[Mecca]

Where did you find this stuff?

[Jamila]

All over the Internet. We have big scoop. Thank you.

[Mecca]

That was such a beautiful intro.

[Jamila]

Thank you.

[Mecca]

I really do be judging shows by the intro. I will just say every time I look at yalls intro, y' all are like for real journalists. Y' all be doing your work.

[Jamila]

Thank you.

[Mecca]

So I can appreciate that flowers.

[Jamila]

Plus I feel like this is such a male dominated space so.

[Mecca]

It is.

[Jamila]

Have a girly on the camera couch. It is.

[Mecca]

Yes. Vaginas.

[Jamila]

Coochie. We're going to. You don't have to be a girl to have a coochie. We are PC.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

So how are you feeling?

[Mecca]

I'm feeling great. I will say this, this was homecoming this past weekend. So like I sound like Marvin, but it's me, it's me.

[Jamila]

So you was having a time.

[Mecca]

I was having. But here's the thing. So I don't. I don't even really drink anymore and so I didn't Drink at all. But like, the. The bounce back is still happening.

[Jamila]

Walking around for homecoming is enough, girl.

[Mecca]

I was like, yo, how did I do this at 20? Because now, 20 years later, for me, I am.

[Jamila]

It's crazy.

[Mecca]

It's probably gonna take me another week. My voice ain't came back yet. Like, I'm tired, I'm sleepy. Yeah, Homecoming was fun, though.

[Jamila]

Okay.

[Mecca]

Period.

[Jamila]

So we're gonna get into some things. First off, we definitely have to ask, how did you get in. Into the space of all depth digital? Because that was like a thing. That was a thing for my era, specifically. Yeah. Okay.

[Mecca]

So back. This was like 2016. So let me back up. I moved to LA 2012 and I was doing the whole. I had just left from producing a syndicated radio show and I wanted to do more in front of the camera, on camera, hosting, that kind of stuff. So I moved to LA from Dallas and I started. Started off like hosting shows for free. I mean, I had like four or five jobs. Like hustling. Hustling.

[Jamila]

That's really how it is.

[Mecca]

That's how it is, right? You want to, you know, you want to make your dreams happen. You got to work. So I was hosting shows, doing red carpets, I was doing a lot of working at a restaurant, working at the gym, making shakes, like protein shakes, everything. And then I saw this audition for all deaf. They had a daily show called the Drop and they were looking for hosts. So I was actually. Let me back up. It was a new show and they didn't. They were. They needed hoes. So I came in and auditioned. Next thing you know, they said, oh, we're not doing this show anymore. Sorry. So I was like, ugh. When I went in there, I just knew, like, this is where I need to be. So then I just kept doing what I was doing all my five jobs. And then I saw another audition come up and I was like, oh, this is it. This is it. This is it for all deaf. This is it. So I go in there and they're just like, improv. They're just like, here, here's a story. I think they gave me bullet points and I had to deliver it because it was for the Drop. They were looking for two new hosts. And so I had to deliver the news as though I was on camera. They just put this in front of my face. Then I had to do some banter back and forth with some people. And when I walked out of there, I was like, oh, this is my job. And I just went home and I was like, I'll Just wait for the call. It was that level of confidence that I hadn't had with any of the other auditions I'd been on. But I just knew in my spirit, I was like, this is it. And sure enough, I got a call, and it was like, hey, we'd love to have you as one of the hosts. So I came in, and then it was. Tahir Moore was the other host, and it was just us, and that's how we got started.

[Jamila]

And the rest was history.

[Mecca]

And the rest was. I didn't think I was gonna be here this long. But I'm glad, you know, because the thing about it is, like, in this space in Hollywood, especially, like, nobody stays in one place too long. You have to keep going, reinventing yourself, or else you just. Yeah. And I will say, nothing that you do is ever wasted. Because back in my, like, former life, when I used to live in Atlanta, like, I don't know, like, 20 years ago, I was a financial consultant. So I know my excel. I know my money, I know my.

[Jamila]

All that.

[Mecca]

And what's crazy is what has kept me at all, death wasn't the talent and wasn't my producing. It was all of it put together, all of the stuff that I came with. I'm now the head of production.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

But you can't do that if you don't have a financial background. So to find talent that also produces, because I did that at radio and also understands the numbers and budgets. Yeah, that's like the ideal head of production, because they know all the different departments, for sure. And so the way that gadget set it up, and it was like, hey, we need head of production. Or I think it was. First it was like, we need a producer. Can you produce the show you're on? For sure. Then it was like, can you produce other people's show? For sure? And then it was, well, can you be the head of production?

[Jamila]

I can do it all. The answer is yes.

[Mecca]

And so it was just. Everything was just lined up. So I think sometimes when people are working somewhere and they're like, man, you know, this has nothing to do. Maybe it's your Amazon job. Like, I want to be a singer or whatever. Everything builds on itself. I don't know how, but you'll look back and you go, oh, I met this person at that place that helped me to get to here. It's always a line. It's always a link. So nothing is wasted. No career, nothing.

[Jamila]

I don't think that either. I was gonna say, I'm a firm believer in that, like, every little place, every place I've ever worked, been to, I'm like, use this in some kind of way. I don't know how, but I'm gonna. I'm gonna pick somebody up or something up from this place and just add it to my collection always.

And I have 50, 11 jobs because I will quit a job. And I try and think of how am I used. But you really are. Even down to, like, a joke I often make is like, if you grew up in church and you had to speak in front of church, like, I'm actively using those skills. And mind you, I never wanted to do that shit.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

I'm gonna be like, you're gonna do the Easter program?

[Mecca]

It's gonna be yes. Look how that Easter program paid off.

[Jamila]

The mic, it's in my hand. I'm not holding it anymore. I literally have pictures of me, like, and I love God.

Yeah, you. You gonna get in. In the mud and do it. And I feel like also being a woman. We're gonna make this episode about being a woman. Oh, the joys of womanhood.

[Mecca]

How y' all be doing like this now. I did that, and I was like, I feel like my fingers don't look right. Is it. No, it's the middle one now. What is this one?

[Jamila]

Then I saw the boys do that. They just.

[Mecca]

Oh, the boys. So I gotta do the girl version.

[Jamila]

That's how it's really done.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila]

Many of you, you know, when niggas hijack, they just start doing it to do it wrong.

[Mecca]

That's what's happened. Okay.

[Jamila]

Okay.

[Mecca]

Thanks for clearing me up.

[Jamila]

For sure. Being a girl in entertainment.

[Mecca]

Yeah, you gotta be careful. Cause let me tell you, I've always worked with men in.

[Jamila]

They're everywhere.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

Good gosh.

[Mecca]

Right. Probably for most of my career has been I've worked for a man of some sort. And I will say, most of them will try you. And when I say try you, it's not necessarily the over think they try you. Right. It's not like, oh, come here, girl.

[Jamila]

It ain't like that.

[Mecca]

But it might be a little, you know, hand on the small of your back or like, you know, like, hey, come in my office. Or the conversation might start to get a little off the unprofessional track. And what I've noticed is as soon as you feel that, like, you always feel it, like, ooh. You always know you have to immediately.

[Jamila]

Like, shut that shit down.

[Mecca]

Exactly. But you know, you don't want to do it in a way that hurts ego because that's what I'm saying.

[Jamila]

Because once you hurt their egos, now you. Now they're spying, now you can't. I'm quitting my job, right?

[Mecca]

And I feel like there's. I haven't had to hurt an ego until it got to the overt. Like, come to my house, like. And at that point, that girl Hollywood, like, at that point it's like, okay, you know, I don't need this job. Because as a woman, your reputation follows you everywhere.

[Jamila]

Yes.

[Mecca]

And that's the one thing I will pride myself on, is you ain't gonna hear nothing about me in the streets. And if you do, it's a lie. And I know it. Hand on the Bible. Because I've explicitly worked hard in my career to make sure you know me for my work. You know that I come in here, I know how to push these buttons. I know how to produce this stuff. I know all this stuff. Right? And if you don't have me on your team, you're gonna fail. Like, I want you to feel that. So don't come. You know, you don't come at me and say, oh, she slept her way here. I'm no baby.

[Jamila]

And listen, the cat is fat and talks back. You don't know. It's not your business.

[Mecca]

That part.

[Jamila]

That's the one thing I will say. Listen, talk back. Going to like a very small conservative. Conservative hbcu. We talk about this all the time. The talk that the administrators gave us when we went to college is not the talk they give the girls now. It was. They said, ladies, very different. Close those.

[Mecca]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Jamila]

Oh, they gave.

[Mecca]

They don't say that now.

[Jamila]

It's, I think.

Post. Me too. They kind of. Because we. We got the talk of. Of course, like, and it gets dark. But.

A lady's most vulnerable state is freshman year of college. The, you know, sexual assault numbers are really high freshman year. So they were trying to give us a talk about that, like, beware. But it kind of gave. And don't you be out there.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

Because you little things and just walk around fast. Yeah. And it was like, ladies, you better close them legs and do all these things. And that' why you got a curfew? Cuz you don't need to be out that damn late. And so we're sitting there like, okay, wait.

[Mecca]

And they didn't give the boys to talk to them.

[Jamila]

I don't know what the hell they. I don't know what. Didn't seem like it. They split us up. So I don't know. I said, well, we didn't. We weren't even allowed to have boys in the dorm. Like, that's how conservative it was. And then past that, I think once you get into, like, the politics of, like, a space like that, something I was always aware of is keeping up.

[Mecca]

With my good girl fat mama.

[Jamila]

You can't say I fucked in the one at Hampton. Now on that Navy ship.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

I was getting caught up. I was getting caught up so bad. I was like, I'm gonna do it over here. I ain't gonna do it over here. But I was like. It just made me aware of, like, the things that I have to worry about now. I'm taking back to that space of like, okay, so even if I think that boy is cute, like, we can do a little, you know, But I'm not gonna ever do that.

[Mecca]

Yeah. It's because the thing about it is, you don't want anyone to undermine your work. Right. Like, those are two separate things.

[Jamila]

Yes.

[Mecca]

What I do with you in the bedroom should not affect what I do at work. However, when you're a woman and this is a patriarchal society and you're at the mercy of men. Right. You have to play the game to the point where you can't judge me on that.

[Jamila]

Right? Yeah.

[Mecca]

So once you try me, like, once you try, I'm be like, you know, and then the work speaks for itself, because then it's like, okay, well, there's plenty of girls I can smash, but then there's not that many people that I can have on my team that can do this legit and do it the right way. So I'd rather use you for this since I know you could do it. I go smash on other chicks. Cool. Cool.

[Jamila]

Are you aware of like. Or not aware? Or if you for yourself of, like, do you care about coming off as bitchy? Or, you know, like, when we talk about men in their ego in this space, it's like, if you go too hard on the. I'm not fucking, then it's like, she's a. She's a stick in a mud. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mecca]

Like, it's so. Earlier in my career, I was. Now I don't. I don't care. Like, okay, I don't need that. But earlier in my career, I was. Because I wasn't confident in my own skills. I wasn't confident in what I brought to the table, and I didn't have enough faith in.

Where God was taking me. I always, you know, because there's people that are like, well, he's got this job that I want, or he's got this wonderful position, or it pays a lot of money and I'm struggling.

You know? And so you may contemplate it, or you might feel like, ooh, I don't know. But then, like, now it's. I know. God, I network with him. He know everybody. Like, I don't need you for that. And so I've learned to kind of like the art of matching energy, right? Like, I don't have to. If you come at me hard, then I have to come back at you hard and then deal with the consequences of that. And usually I'm still gonna be okay. Cause I did the right thing, right? But if it's a matter of like, okay, he didn't come at me all, like, sideways and, like, come here, you know, like, grab me if he didn't do that. And it was just like, okay, I can see where this is going. The hand on my back, you know, the little. The little looks. The look. Come on, sit. You know, I can feel it. I can feel it coming. And I don't want it to go that way. Then I subtly move out the way as well. I subtly make myself super cute. Exactly. So just. I say match the energy. And if somebody's mad and is like, aw, Megan, I don't like her. She thinks she ought that she's a boss. Whatever. She's bossy. Whatever it is. Fine, fine, fine, fine.

[Jamila]

What can I say?

[Mecca]

Okay. And thank you. Do you want this done or not? Do you want your work taking care of that? Right, Exactly.

[Jamila]

I'm the one that's tattooed on his arm.

[Mecca]

There's a reason for that.

[Jamila]

I literally made a video, a little skit about that when I was saying whenever I enter lots basics, I have to work with a lot of men. I kind of like over bro. It just so you even.

[Mecca]

I saw that, girl. I was cracking.

[Jamila]

I was like, what's happening? Yeah, we can do that. I be so like, yeah, yeah, that's cool. I'm gonna chop it up with you later. Like, so you don't even think that this is gonna, like. And I feel like that funny enough. It doesn't always work anyway. But yeah, girl, that's like my little. That's my first line of defense. Let me just let you know, I'm not even. I be trying to sit like this and shit. Like, let me not even be. Let me not even put a face in the world. Let me not even.

[Mecca]

Your puss.

[Jamila]

Your legs is open, girl. Be trying to like, let me not put an arch on my back when I see. Let me just.

[Mecca]

Girl, some of them do not even care. Okay?

[Jamila]

You niggas are ruthless. Y' all will take anything. You scare me. Does being married like Darrell niggas? Not that it. Yeah, not really.

[Mecca]

I mean. Cause again, they still try you because they want to see what type of chick are you. Are you the type that's, like, married but, like, still do a little something on the side? Or are you, like, nah, I don't play those games.

[Jamila]

So black women don't cheat, though.

[Mecca]

There we go.

[Jamila]

And that's the real.

There we go. Meg is blazing. Blazing. Women don't cheat either.

[Mecca]

Show don't.

[Jamila]

Exactly. Ciao. Okay, so let's talk about motherhood.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

The joy of motherhood. So you. I remember when you was pregnant because you were still on that set.

[Mecca]

Wait, which pregnancy? The first one. Second.

[Jamila]

I believe it's probably the first one.

[Mecca]

The first.

[Jamila]

Okay. How many kids do you have?

[Mecca]

Two.

[Jamila]

Okay, perfect.

[Mecca]

Yep. Seven and three.

[Jamila]

Yiddles. How was that for you? Maneuvering in space. Coming into motherhood through the pregnancy and then now the motherhood.

[Mecca]

So it was. Okay. So back then, it was really funny because at all deaf. I'm like, the sister mom. Like, it's always me and the guys. And so now when I got pregnant, it was like, Megan's, like, the mom. She's really a mom now. Like, she about to. So it was weird navigating because all of my brothers are so, like, immature, dumb. They're like, yo, you got a penis in your body. You're, like, walking around with a penis inside your son.

[Jamila]

Like, just goofy.

[Mecca]

Just. I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, you guys are so. Such, like, fifth graders. And so, like, just coming up with those, being my colleagues, and that being my experience, it was really funny, right? And then having a. You know, me also being an overachiever, I was like, I read all the books. I did all the things. And then that baby came, and I was like, nothing prepared me for this. Girl. I have reached the end of the Internet. You know how many times I done went to the next page on it? How many people do that on Google, right? You just go to the first page on Google and that's it. When you searching for something, child, I done went to the next page, the next page.

[Jamila]

There's nothing left. Meg, child.

[Mecca]

That's how much research I have done to make sure I was prepared for motherhood. Nothing prepared me.

[Jamila]

Nothing.

[Mecca]

And it's beautiful and, like, scary at the same time. Because now it's like, oh, I'm responsible for this little person. But, like, I feel like a teenager. Like, even now, Chad, I'd be like, I am a teenage mother.

[Jamila]

Yes. Yeah.

[Mecca]

Why did the Lord give me these things?

[Jamila]

Like, are y' all sure?

[Mecca]

Like, I feel like that on a daily.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

And I've been a mom for seven years, and I still be like, man, I don't know why I've been entrusted with this, because I am a teenager myself.

[Jamila]

It's so. It's so weird. Do you feel like your pregnancy and delivery journey was a positive experience overall, or do you feel like you had the scary I'm a black woman in this medical space experience?

[Mecca]

So the first time I was pregnant, I. I chose a doula. At the time, I still lived in Los Angeles, and my husband, he was going back and forth between Miami and la. So I was like, I might deliver when he's not here. I need help. I have no family here, so I got a doula. And I will say she taught me so much about just the medical industry in regards to maternal health, because.

I think when I actually went into labor, she was walking me in. My husband was with us. She was walking me in. And she started telling them, like, she's.

[Jamila]

This.

[Mecca]

She's. This is her birthplace. She doesn't want that. Blah, blah. And they were just like, okay. And I saw, like, the behind the scenes of how much the hospital really worries about their liability over your safety and your health and your preferences. They're gonna choose themselves every time. And you hear that. But, like, I saw them. They were just like. They told my husband he couldn't film. Like, this is the birth of our first child.

[Jamila]

Like, what do you mean?

[Mecca]

We can't film because they're worried about their liability. They didn't want to be caught on camera doing something they weren't supposed to be doing, right? And then we can sue them.

[Jamila]

And.

[Mecca]

And then, like.

Oh, I busted all the blood vessels in my eyes, so I looked like I didn't know how to push, right? And they kept saying, just push with your butt, honey. And I was like, I am excellent butt. And they were like, don't push with your face. And I was like, what do you mean? When you poop, you don't do this unless you're constipated, right? No, like, you just push. And in the heat of it, I just didn't get it. I was just like, okay, whatever. And doing that, I literally, like, there was no wipes. It was all bloodshot. Oh, My goodness. But, like, even in that, you know, when I was talking to different doctors that would come in and see me, I'd be like, hey, what do I do? And they'd be like, ooh, yeah, you'll be all right. And then they'd move on. And I'm like.

There'S no trouble.

[Jamila]

So does it just disperse? Does.

[Mecca]

Does.

[Jamila]

How does one fix the blood?

[Mecca]

You have to wait. It's like two weeks later than it, like, gone. It just, like, over.

[Jamila]

It heals.

[Mecca]

So you just. I was looking like a zombie for life.

[Jamila]

So stressful for that to happen right after. Where's the lady who asked the things with pregnancy on TikTok Bus. Blood vessels Restaurant. Oh, my goodness.

[Mecca]

And then, you know, and I can just see how they were moving in the hospital, how it is so easy to overlook black women and their pain, Right? Thank God I didn't have any issues. And I had a doula who advocated for me because I didn't know any of this. This stuff.

[Jamila]

I didn't know my fellow doulas.

[Mecca]

See, y' all are. By the way, this girl in my church use her doula. I was talking to her and I saw a picture. I was like, wait, that's Jamila. Jamila is delivering babies.

[Jamila]

She's really a doula.

[Mecca]

She's really a doula, y'.

[Jamila]

All.

[Mecca]

That is so such a small world. But it's important because, like, I didn't know. You know, I thought, like, the doctors will do all this standard stuff, like give your baby certain shots, put certain things in their eyes. You know, they'll take them away from you, wash them out. Like, all these things. I didn't know.

[Jamila]

That happens very fast. Very fast.

[Mecca]

So if you don't know or if you don't have anyone advocating for you, then all of your. Basically, all of the things that you wanted to do with your baby is not going to happen. Because for them, we got to get it in and get out. We don't even want to wait till this blood stops pumping through the core before we cut it. We got another room to go to.

[Jamila]

Crazy.

[Mecca]

I don't care. Yeah, this my baby. Y' all going to wait. Y' all gonna wait these two minutes and let this blood finish pumping, and then we can go.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying? And so it's important, I think. I honestly feel like doulas should be a part of, like, insurance. Insurance should cover doulas.

[Jamila]

Yeah. And it's. It's a. Listen, I was gonna say it was a work in Progress. Before this administration, it was.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

And there's so many cuts and crazy things going on. There's a lot of doulas who are trying to, like, advocate for that, because it's. It's. It's a really. When you really learn the ins and outs, it's like, oh, this is actually really messed up.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Even with a lot of the abortion bands, it actually really, like, negatively affects the maternal ward as well. So many doctors are leaving, hospitals are closing. It's like, a whole crazy thing. So that's definitely stuff that a lot of us doulas are really trying to, like, implement. I really think that everybody should have a doula. Like, that should be, like, standard care, because the nurses simply are not in your room the entire time you're laboring.

[Mecca]

And they're like. They're busy, and they shout out to.

[Jamila]

Nurses, like, how you doing? All right.

[Mecca]

Right. But they have a bunch of patients, so it's like they can't focus on you. And I get that. And that's how a lot of people slip through the cracks and how, you know, they go home, and next thing you know, you got post eclampsia. And you see, I'm saying, so it's like, it's so easy how that happens when you don't have people that are focused on your care. And also people who historically don't look at you, at your skin, and go, oh, you need help.

[Jamila]

Who quite literally think that you can handle more pain.

[Mecca]

That's what I'm saying. Literally, like, okay, I know I can handle pain, but not that much.

[Jamila]

But not that.

[Mecca]

Pre eclampsia, post eclampsia, none of that stuff. No, I can't handle that.

[Jamila]

Tattoos, literally. And, yeah, I'll be telling my clients, listen, you tell them it hurts.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Don't be trying to fake the. And. And see. Seem, like, strong, like, oh, it's cool. Tell them that it hurts because they're gonna be like, she cool. She's all right. And they're not gonna take it seriously.

[Mecca]

Yeah. And then, like, so my first experience was a lot better because I had a doula. The second time I moved here, I didn't have a doula because I felt more like I understood what I. I understood. I had the power to tell.

[Jamila]

Right.

[Mecca]

The nurses, no, I don't want that. Yes, I want this. Whatever. Right. And so my baby came so fast. Well, both of them came fast, but the second one was, like, three pushes out, just shot out. And so that experience was, like, a little. I wasn't Happy about it, because I chose this place because they had these, like, birthing pools, right? And I called them ahead of time. I was like, I'm a fast birther. I'm about to come in there. Y' all go ahead, fill the pool up. I got there. Pool wasn't filled. I got there. They couldn't find no type of veins.

[Jamila]

They never can find that vein.

[Mecca]

And I'm over here laboring. I'm like, you know what? Just forget it. Don't worry about it, baby. Just forget it.

[Jamila]

You finna miss it, right?

[Mecca]

And I was like, y' all got the JV squad on tonight. Like, what's going on, nurses? And then, like, I remember telling them, like, it's time to push. I was, like, running it, basically. I was telling them, and I was hoping it was right. My instincts were right. But, like, I was telling them, move me to the labor and delivery room now. They were like, oh, okay, yeah. And then I got there, and I didn't want to lay on my back and push. But in a hospital setting, they want you to do that because that's just easier for them. Less liability for them, but it's worse for you, right? So I'm sitting here like, no, I'm gonna push. I'm gonna push on all fours.

[Jamila]

Like, move.

[Mecca]

This baby was literally about to come out.

[Jamila]

I was.

[Mecca]

I've had to go all fours. They were like, okay, okay, can you just, like. Can you just face the front of the bed? And we'll put it like an L. And then hold on like that. Just. Just, like, on your knees. Like. I was like, whatever. Hurry up. So then, like, you were on the bed. I was on the bed. So at first, I was facing. The first push, I was like, on all fours, but facing the foot of the bed. And they were scared because I could roll off. They was like, please, please. They were so scared. So they were like, turn around. And then they put the back of the bed up. And I put my hands on top, was on my knees, basically lean forward like this. And clearly, they had never caught a baby like that. Cause everybody, it was like, seven nurses in there. And I swear they was like, we ain't never seen this. And so, right? And so, like, they. So I pushed. Literally two, three pushes or two pushes after that, and my daughter was out. And, like, you could just see. They were like, okay, wait, wait, wait. Because then I'm, like, sitting there. Now I got a baby back behind me with, like, the cord.

[Jamila]

The cord dangling out, so.

[Mecca]

And the placenta ain't Came out yet. So then I'm just standing there like this. My husband's, like, hugging me. We're just having a moment. I ain't even seen my baby yet. Like, I haven't seen her. And I'm just, like, standing up and they're like, okay. Cause I could see them looking like, okay, now how are we going to get this? How we gonna. How we gonna move her?

[Jamila]

So, like, okay, lift your leg and turn.

[Mecca]

Oh, wait, hold on, hold on. Turn your leg. So I had to, like, turn, like, basically over my cord and then sit on my butt and then push the placenta out. But, like, that situation, it was like, if I didn't feel empowered, if I didn't know, if I didn't trust myself, and it would have just turned out different. Because the nurses, God bless them, they were great, but they. I could tell they were new and they.

The COVID nurses.

[Jamila]

No. Now, the reason I know this, because I have a really good friend who actually graduated, like, right when Covet happened. And because of the way the nurses were leaving that mass exodus they were running. Them girls, all them girls who. And boys who graduated during COVID time, they. They just got rushed in there and they didn't have to do a lot of things that they usually have to do, which.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

Which is like. You know, you see the effects of it in situations like this. I just remember I would be talking to her. She's like, yeah, I'm about to, girl. You said last year, you have two more years.

[Mecca]

She like, you already. Why the hell are you. You already working surgery?

[Jamila]

Like, what you mean you.

And on some real. I think the effects of CO in so many different ways, we're seeing the effects of co, but for, like, the.

[Mecca]

Next two decades, we're going to see.

[Jamila]

The effects of CO in every sector. I know they're doing some documentaries, gathering some evidence right now. I already know they are.

[Mecca]

See, And I was so. I was a little upset about that. And they had, like. I didn't want to watch my baby. They took her from me real fast and, like, wiped her down. I was like, no. But it was too late at that point. And so there was just a lot of, like, parts that I. Like, if I could go back, I would have been like, okay, husband, you'd be on this, mom, you'd be on this. Just because it just. That experience wasn't what I wanted it to be. But shout out to nurses, because they do have a rough job, you know. You know, shout out to them. No shade to them, but, like, just The. Just the birthing experience, I think, as a whole. As for black women, I really would say, number one, get a doula. Doulas are important. And, you know, have a midwife deliver you.

[Jamila]

Yes. And now with midwives, that's no drugs.

[Mecca]

No, they're. They're nurses that are, like, specifically not. They don't even have to be a nurse, but they. Their job is delivering babies. That's all they do.

[Jamila]

That's their main. I think they actually do have to be a nurse. You have to be a nurse first, and then you have to go to midwifery school.

[Mecca]

Oh, I feel like in la, they just. With some midwives, that's all they did.

[Jamila]

You know, I'm just. I'm here.

Come here. I'm gonna.

[Mecca]

But they knew what they was doing.

[Jamila]

But deliver your baby.

[Mecca]

But, like, seriously, a nurse midwife in la, I had a nurse midwife deliver me, and I had my dude. And that was, like, the most beautiful experience.

[Jamila]

Okay, so, like, it just sounds like you should. If you can afford all the things, you should get all the things.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Midwives are usually in hospitals. Like, so the thing is, most maternal wings now are moving towards midwives delivering more than OBs. And this is no shade to my obs. Love y' all down. They are just not trained. Same as a lot of nurses. They're not trained to be with you for your labor. And so in their mind, the way that medical staff is trained, specifically doctors, is there's an issue. We need to fix it and treat it, and that's it. Not. This is something that's naturally occurring. How can we assist and allow this happen? That's what midwives are trained to do. So sometimes when OBs are doing a lot of the deliveries, the vaginal delivery specifically, they kind of come in and they're immediately like, let's fix this. Let's change this. Let's do this. Let's add this. And it's like, well, hold on.

[Mecca]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Jamila]

I just got here. Let's just. Let's just calm down. And that's just kind of how it goes. So. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mecca]

And you know what's crazy? I didn't even know this. So when I was. When I first came into the hospital with my doula, the first. The resident doctor came in and she said to him, are you a resident? And he was like, yes. She was like, you can go. We'll just have the midwife. And he was like, all right, cool. And left. And I was like, wait, what? You just told the Doctor to leave. And she was like, well, he's not leaving the hospital. He was just like, basically, we don't need you unless there's an issue. We don't need you.

[Jamila]

And.

[Mecca]

And I just was like, I didn't know you could do that. And she was like, yeah, because if you think about it, residents are. They have to do rotations, and most of them, this is not what they want to do. So I really don't want you in here for this. You could practice on somebody else, but for this and for you, right, Just practice someone else. But for you, my client, I don't want them practicing on you. So just. You're dismissed. We'll just use the midwife, who. This is what she does day in, day out, right? So I'd much rather just have the midwife in there. And I was like, oh, okay. I ain't know that girl. I can do that. She's like, yeah, if you're not high risk, if you're, you know, everything's going good, you're fine. And the other part is, people don't realize how stressful, how stress can affect, like, your baby actually coming out.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

So, like, if your mama or your cousin or whoever's in a room with you is, like, stressing you, they have.

[Jamila]

Get out, get out.

[Mecca]

Don't feel bad about it. I will talk about it later after this baby comes. But, like, get that negative energy out, because, baby, you're going to be stuck. And that baby go be in that canal, just chilling.

[Jamila]

Listen. And it's funny, because a lot of. A lot of people want their mothers in their labor and delivery. This is no shade to the moms. I always have a conversation with my clients. Like, listen to me. I know you love your mom, and I know you want her to be there. Let's talk face to face. In time of stress, how does your mama make you feel?

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

They say, okay, now we need to rethink this. Hold on. And I'm like, I just want you to understand that you can create those boundaries with your mama.

[Mecca]

Right?

[Jamila]

Because I. I know it can get to the point where now mama trying to deliver the baby at this point, mama got all these conversations and things they want to say. It's like, all right, now, Mama. So I tell them, you tell me what you. Because I know you don't want to get into a tip with your mama. Let me be that person. Be like, hey, you want to go get something to eat real quick? You want to go down to the. So you can get a little Break. Because I.

[Mecca]

Wait. Have you ever had to tell a mom, like, okay, I. I tried to give you the signs. You didn't say, you just gotta go. Have you ever had to, like, get that?

[Jamila]

I haven'. Had to tell her mom to get out, but I have had to kind of, like, shift gears a little bit. One of my clients was laboring on the toilet, which is actually really good, and her mom was just like, get off that toilet. She just kept trying to girl, come get into bed. Like, just get in the bed. She just kept going. And I could tell she was getting so frustrated, and so I kind of just was, like, talking to her, and I'm like, so. And I kind of just distracted her from telling her that. So why she can keep, like, doing that? And kind of just gently kind of guided her away from that. Then I was telling her she had said something like, don't you think she need to get off that toilet? I was like, actually versus having her get back and forth. And then after that, she kind of calmed down. It was just kind of like, oh, well, let me just. I guess y' all know everything. You know how moms do. And it's honestly so funny because I also had a client where I could tell her mom was very apprehensive about just me there. Like, doula, right? We never had no doula. Ain't it? I don't ever see no doula. And then after things got a little crunk up in there, she was like, thank you so much for being here. My daughter. You're amazing. I love this. This is so great. Wow. I just love you. I'm like, I know. I'm here for y', all, but. Yeah, I've had to kick a man out of the delivery. Really? The baby father or just the man? Oh, okay.

[Mecca]

Oh, he was doing the most.

[Jamila]

I said, we're gonna have you wait.

[Mecca]

In the waiting room.

[Jamila]

We'll let you know when the baby is here.

[Mecca]

Was he, like, protesting? Like, no. No. Okay, then. Yeah, he definitely need to be out of there.

[Jamila]

Exactly.

[Mecca]

Go ahead and go.

[Jamila]

We'll let you know when the baby here.

[Mecca]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamila]

Because I need. I need this to go smoothly, and you already doing too much, and, yeah, I will kick somebody up out of there. But, yeah, it was fun.

So let's get into all deaf a little bit more. We talked a little bit with Kev about this, definitely. I said, you know, all deaf was one of those things where it kind of was like the black buzzfeed, basically. And I feel like a lot of Black folks grew up on all Deaf. Like, especially within, like, our generation. How does that feel to be a part of such a legacy? Especially considering, like, all Deaf really launched so many people's careers. Like, everybody is so successful. Like, everybody is.

[Mecca]

Yeah, it's crazy. Cause, like, when people say that, like, it never felt like work. It was always fun. So when people say that or even, like, when I get stopped in the street and people are like, hey, Meg Scoop. I'd be thinking to somebody I know, I'd be like, wait, do I know you from high school? Like, where I know you from? They'd be like, no. All deaf. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am on that. But, like, it just. It felt. It's always been so fun and so cool and so, like, just a great place to work because I come. I came from a corporate background. And so to go from there, where you have to, like, code switch and you gotta wear that mask to a place where, like, the man in charge was like, hey, niggas. Like, walking in and he'd be like, hey, white nigga. Hey, Indian nigga. And we'd be like, wait, what? And this was like, the norm, like, not saying that you should do that, but it just tells you what kind of atmosphere we worked in. And it was actually really fun, really laid back. There was. I never felt like I had a code switch. And so just, like, understanding, like, it was a cool place to work, but then seeing the impact it had on other people. So when people are like, yo, this got me through, like, Covid. Or this got me through, like, bad breakup, and I would just watch all stuff and I would just laugh. And it was, like, great that it feels really good to know that what we was doing to have fun and laugh, like, was also making other people laugh and also making their day better. So it's, like, a really good feeling to know that that's. That I'm a part of that and one of the few women to be able to do it, to be blessed to do this, because comedy is hard, and it's definitely harder for women than men. And so for so many reasons. And so, like, just being able to be a part of that and, you know, having to. And having the position to be like, oh, other women, getting other women and being a voice that's like, well, we need some more women on this episode. Or we need some more, like, we need some more variety, because I just see funny niggas, but, like, there's other people who are funny. So just like, having A hand in that is good to know. Like, it just makes me feel great. And so then when I see a lot of people in there touring or they have specials, like, this forms my heart.

[Jamila]

Yeah. We literally were talking about that in terms of, like, our guests, and we're.

[Mecca]

Like, It's a lot of boys we've been having. I'm gonna get some girls.

[Jamila]

But it's not. It's not, like, intentional.

[Mecca]

Right, right, right.

[Jamila]

If we're pulling from people from our space and who we're cool with and everything, it's like, dang, it's. It's not many girls. So it's like, we really. I know we talked about moving forward. Like, we really do want to, like, women in the comedy space. Like, please, come on. Unhinged them all. We do want to talk to you. We do still hate.

[Mecca]

But.

[Jamila]

Don'T get it twisted. Don't get it twisted.

[Mecca]

And even y'.

[Jamila]

All.

[Mecca]

Y' all have a really good. I've noticed this about y'. All. Y' all have a really good wit, and you're quick.

[Jamila]

Thank you.

[Mecca]

Because, like, that's important for comedy. Like, you need to. You gotta. Especially with the boys. You gotta be fast because boys are.

[Jamila]

And I hate to give boys their things.

[Mecca]

Right, right, right.

[Jamila]

But because boys grew up in the sense of, like, not having to be so put together and, like, so self conscious, I think that they grew to be so quick with it. Quicker than we did.

[Mecca]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jamila]

And honestly, like, when I was coming up and watching, like, comedians and comics and just the comedy space, I did learn from a lot of boys. And I don't think that I was super.

Pressed on trying to be, like, od, like, super, super cute and presentable. In school, I was so okay with being a clown.

[Mecca]

Right, right.

[Jamila]

And looking ridiculous. Yeah. And then I would realize later, this is probably why no niggas try to talk to me. Like, you know what? Now that I think about it, I did just roll around on that flow. Get up, get up. But when you're. If you're like. If comedy is your thing, you got to be okay with looking a fucking fool sometimes.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

And so now, present day, being almost 30 is like, you know what? I kind of ate that shout out to them boys, because they never care about looking.

[Mecca]

They don't. They don't. And they. And that gives you a level of freedom.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

To just be creative and be yourself. And so I think I've learned a lot from them as well. Especially, I would say, even recently.

I feel like I've gotten Better at roasting. Just being around them, like, at first, when I. Because I don't have a comedic background. I have, like, a financial background.

[Jamila]

Right.

[Mecca]

And, like, a producer background. But then being. But I've always. You know, people always be like, oh, you're so funny. And so just being around them is like, school.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Because then they would be. I would just see them. We'd be in the break room, and they'd just be roasting each other. And I'm sitting there like, oh, my gosh. And then somebody throw a shot my way, and I'm just sitting like.

I was like, I can't. I can't be like this no more. Like, I need to. I need to say something back.

[Jamila]

Well, fuck you.

[Mecca]

Right? Like, oh, my God. I used to be like, so you. That used to be my comeback.

[Jamila]

The early days used to have me weak. Cause I'm like. I can tell. You're literally just sitting there laughing. You would just be just weak. Like, I don't know.

[Mecca]

Okay, well.

[Jamila]

Oh, well.

[Mecca]

I didn't know what to say. I didn't have no comedic chops. And then it changed to, like, okay, fine, you ugly. And then it was like, my word, because I didn't have anything else. And then eventually, Covid hit, and we have a podcast on all deaf called Squadcast. And that really was like, I don't care. I'm in my house. I ain't even got no pants on. Okay, Y' all just see the shirt. I'm really comfortable. So now I'm going to just say whatever. And I think also, being a mother, you don't care about a lot of stuff anymore, and as you get older. And so I think that allowed me to be freer and just being around them, you know, from a Covid perspective, we were always doing something on, like, Zoom or something like that. And so that helped me just to get stronger and better. And now today, they're like, you need to be on the next season of Roast Me. And I'm like, oh, no, no. That's another level. I' ma cry. I'm gonna cry. All right. I'm not above tears. I will cry. Okay, So I can't do that.

[Jamila]

Listen, when we got invited to Squad Cats, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little anxious because I was like, this is like, you gotta be on it.

[Mecca]

But y' all did great.

[Jamila]

Yeah, I feel like it went well, but I was anxious.

[Mecca]

You guys did so good.

[Jamila]

I don't know if you remember, my air conditioner was broke.

[Mecca]

It was this Summer.

[Jamila]

And I was sitting there. That's why I sit off Rip. I'm sweating. I'm in the house. My air conditioner's broken. Don't roast me. It was so much going on, mind you. I was in Alabama for a funeral. So I literally was like, in the Airbnb, and I was like this. I think it was probably the day after the funeral, which is where I was there. I'm like, I'm gonna do this, though, y'.

[Mecca]

All.

[Jamila]

I'll be right back. Like, let me go do this thing. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, I'm like, dang it. I can't prepare for this. This is just. You gotta just be on it. I'm like, but at the same time, this is gonna prepare you. This is like practice. This is like, everything's an audition. Like, you. You get trained for that. Like, just.

[Mecca]

You guys did great. I'm just like. Because a lot of people, you know, sometimes they'll come on there and I'll be feeling bad. And I always tell Tahir. Cause To Hear. Produces it. And I'm like, you gotta prep these people. Like, you gotta say, here's an episode. Be prepared to. This is what's gonna happen. Because we have such. We have, like, at this point, almost ten years of comradery. So it's like, if you this hard to jump in the middle of that, right? And we're cognizant of that, so we try to include people. But we can only do so much to make our guests feel comfortable enough to start also roasting with us or joining in. But y' all did not need no prep. Y' all was like, y' all had it. Y' all was good.

[Jamila]

Yeah, we had went out with Tahir in la, like, a little bit before. I feel like he did a really good job of making us feel comfortable. Shout out to Tahir. Yeah, Tahir is great, but he. I mean, he didn't really prep us. He said, it's fast, it's quick. And he's like, I mean, y' all give a shot, you'll be all right. You just, you know, just like, yeah, just get on and just do it. I'm like, okay, great. And then when we saw, I was like, okay, let me to hear Meg and Patrick. And I'm like. I was all deaf kids. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I already know what type of things they're gonna say. Like, I studied you guys. I'm like. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Now, if it was. I'M like, okay, I think I can really make my way. I think I can, you know, finesse my way into there.

[Mecca]

Like, y' all did great.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Cuz y' all be yapping. And y' all was yapping with us. Yes. That's what we needed. So thank you.

[Jamila]

That was fun. So you went to what, University of Kentucky, right?

[Mecca]

I did.

[Jamila]

Which is so crazy, because I know I told you this before, but, like, when I tell you my mind was blown. The way that the worlds are so small is crazy. So, of course I went to Georgia State. My advisor for Black Student Alliance. I was president of the Black Student Alliance. My advisor, Mike, is married to your line sister.

[Mecca]

I actually just saw him this past weekend at homecoming.

[Jamila]

I see. I'm like, I know they just cutting up. I'm like, what the heck? I'm like, this is so crazy. Such a small world. How was that? Cause that's a pwi.

[Mecca]

It is. Yeah.

[Jamila]

How was that?

[Mecca]

You know, so here's the thing. I always said this. I was like, I always wanted to go to an hbcu, but I knew I wouldn't do well at one. And here's why. Because I like to be in these streets at that age. Because I would. You know, I grew up in a very, like, churchy home, in church, five days a week. Wasn't allowed to go do much. So when I went to college, I was like, I'm in these streets. Like, I'm allowed to be. I'm never going to sleep. And if I was at a black school, I would have just been everywhere. I was hanging out in people's dorms.

[Jamila]

It's rough.

[Mecca]

I would have done all the things. That would have been me.

[Jamila]

The master almost got me.

[Mecca]

That would have been me. I just.

[Jamila]

Too much fun.

[Mecca]

Sometimes it's too much, and I would have just had too much fun. Whereas at a pwi, it ain't that. That much stuff to do. Like, you got to go to class. And then, like, it's not like I'm hanging at everyone's dorms because we the only black girls on the. On the dorm on that floor. Like, I don't want to go to your room. I went in there, it was dirty, and I don't want to. You know, I'm going back to my room. So, like, it was just a lot of things at a PWI that was like, okay, this is going to help keep me in school. Because then we had a Kentucky State, which is an hbcu. Well, it's not really, but we. It is they don't like to be called that. But we would go down to Kentucky State and party. So I got the experience of, like, being out at an HBCU but not having to be on campus all the time, because, like I said, if I was there, I had fun at that black school. And I was like, okay, let me go back to the white school so I can excel. Because I would be out here with y' all all night and y' all going to class, and I'm still out here kicking it. Like, that's how bad it was. I was like, yeah, let me just go.

[Jamila]

So did you. You studied finance in school? Like, what?

[Mecca]

Finance and marketing. I double majored.

[Jamila]

Wow.

[Mecca]

And it. Not because I liked finance, not because I like numbers. Just because I'm Asian don't mean I like it.

[Jamila]

I was going. I was about to make a joke.

[Mecca]

I knew you was. I felt it brewing.

[Jamila]

Politically correct.

[Mecca]

I felt it brewing it in. You know, maybe that is true, though. Maybe that is why I'm good with numbers. Because the Asian. The Asian side. But I don't like it. It, like, I don't like numbers. For real. And so I did. I added the marketing as a double major because I was like, oh, marketing is fun, but, like, they don't make no money.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

So I was like, I got the finance. I got the marketing. Like, I should be good. Should be good. And it worked out because when I graduated college, I was a financial advisor.

I mean, a financial consultant in. In an advisory group for an accounting firm. But, like, it just wasn't me. This wasn't corporate, wasn't fun for me.

[Jamila]

I didn't have. I. I lasted a year, and I got a really good job after Towson, and I was just like, I kind of hate this. I remember my boss was a black woman, and she was so nice, but she could tell I hated it. And she was like, you gotta like. And mind you, I was also covet. So, like, we're on zoom, and I'm like, visibly like.

She's like, Mecca. You have to look like you're engaged. It was just so sleep on the zoom. Like, literally. She was like, why is your camera off? I hate it. I don't want to be here.

[Mecca]

Right, right.

[Jamila]

And it was a startup, and then it failed. It was a tech startup. And then that was like an answer from God. Got my little severance and never looked back. See, something I did want to ask you, though. Pwi, hbcu. Delta being half Korean. You said Korean in Kentucky. I feel like since sinners Came out. People are now just now knowing that there are Asian people in the South. And, like, what was that experience like for you growing up with, like, both sides?

[Mecca]

So I'm an army brat, and so it's a little bit different.

[Jamila]

Korean War?

[Mecca]

No, my dad. I'm about to be like, girl, that is the 1950s. What?

Maybe they met. Although that is why my grandfather came from North Korea. Korea before it was North Korea. That's an interesting story. That is how my grandfather made it to South Korea when it became South Korea. But.

No, my parents met. My dad was stationed in Korea, and then that's how he met my mom. And they got married, and then they moved to the States and to Kentucky specifically. And that's kind of where I grew up. But my. I will say it's different in the aspect of, like, I was born in Korea, so I understand that I am very much. I am 50. 50, but I'm like, not. Whereas I feel like I'm more black because of my experience. And then I have a brother, but I feel like he would say the opposite. He doesn't see the world the way I see it. Even though we grew up together in the same world. He leans more on the Korean side. I lean more on the black side. But, you know, where I grew up, the army town I grew up in in Kentucky is. It's called Radcliffe, and it's outside of Fort Knox. So it's an army town. So it's not really as country as the other places around. It's very mixed, very much everything. And then I left my little everything bubble and then went to University of Kentucky, which is a very White, black, other. White, black, other.

[Jamila]

Yeah. So.

[Mecca]

So it was like, you gotta pick. Are you on the white side? You on the black side? Are you the other side? And the other side was everything. So it was like, I'm not everything. I'm black and Korean. I feel a little more black. Cause I go to a black church, you know, My Korean mother was very.

Very adamant about me understanding that I would be perceived black.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

And I remember being, like, five years old. I'm sorry. I'm going everywhere. But I remember being five years old and my dad telling me that I was black. And I was like, first of all, that's. This color is black. This color is brown. Like, what do you mean? And then secondly, my mom was like, yes, because you're black. Like, people are gonna say you're black. And I didn't get it, because I knew my mom and dad were two different colors.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

So how can you say that? I'm just. My dad's. I never understood that. But it was very, very amazing and wonderful that my Korean mom understood that because that helped shape my identity. So I never. I have other Blasian friends, and it's very clear they don't feel like they fit in anywhere. I feel very comfortable wherever I go. Okay. Especially with black Korean people. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I feel very comfortable because I know how I'm perceived, and not that that affects, like, oh, like, I can't. People think about me, but, like, I know what you're seeing.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

So that helps me navigate life much easier. So when I went to University of Kentucky, I was like, oh, well, I fit with the black students, obviously. Like, you know, I'm still gonna go to, like, the Asian event. Hello. But, like, I know where fit, and I know when I walk into a classroom of 300 people and I'm the only non white person in there, I know that you're going to look at me and say, that is the one black girl in our class. You're not going to say the blazer girl. You're not going to say the Asian girl. You're going to say the black girl. So that helped me go, okay, I know where I fit in. I know who I am, I know how I'm perceived. And it just. It. I think it helped me with, you know, my identity even to this day.

[Jamila]

Yeah, yeah. We have a lot of different type of Asians in California. Specifically, like, NorCal with the gold Rush, all that things. So Blasion is, like, actually pretty common. Remember when I went to college and one of my homeboys. This is when Chris Brown and Karrueche were a thing, and Karru was like. Karrueche and Janae were like, Blasia.

[Mecca]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamila]

I remember my homeboy being like, she's so fun. I said, I went to school with 17. Right, exactly like her.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

But, like, that understanding of what you just said, like, you're going to meet. I mean, this is by Rush people in general, but specifically with Blasian, you have that leaning of, like, either you're black or Asian, and then you have the other. In California, usually catch more of the ones who are either othering or either they're identifying with Asian, because there is. So I feel like there is a little bit more. Like, you have a lot of Chinatowns, you have a lot more chances for community, like, for them with the Asian culture. But I was just interested because I have a Lot of Blasian homegirls. And I just be thinking, it's so funny. Queens of Blasia.

[Mecca]

I know, it is.

[Jamila]

Diasporas of Blasia.

[Mecca]

Like, and I have. And then one of my really good friends, she's also Korean and black, and I, we went to high school together, college together. You know, we still hang out to this day. And it was funny because I remember her Korean. My Korean mom was telling me, you're black. People gonna see you as black. Her Korean mom was like, you're Korean. It wasn't even tell her she was black. And I remember she would be, like, talking bad about black people to us. And I was just looking at her like, hold on. You do realize your daughter and me are, like, half black? She was like, I know, I know. But it was one of those things. And it was just, like, I could look at her and see how that affected her as, you know, her identity and how she related to people. And, I mean, I've talked to my black and white friends that have had the same experience. But, like, I think it's really important to understand race relations when you have a baby with somebody that is of a different race, for sure.

[Jamila]

And the Asian community and the black community have a very complicated history.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

So I think that that plays into it as well. Like, it definitely can get. It can get there.

[Mecca]

Right, Right. But you have to, like, you know, you have. And that's why especially. And not just having a baby with somebody of a different race, having a baby with somebody who's black, specifically, you know, And I think people don't think about that. They're like, oh, I like what I like. Okay. But do you understand the ramifications of having a baby with somebody who is black?

[Jamila]

Yes.

[Mecca]

Do you know the responsibility that you carry as a black or non black person when you have a biracial child who is half black? There's a lot that goes into it. You cannot deny the experience that they will have as a black person in America. Maybe it's different in other countries, but in America.

[Jamila]

Yeah. It's not just the fun. Jaden and Katy.

[Mecca]

It's not. It's not. It's not. J.D.

[Jamila]

Kaden, Brayden.

[Mecca]

You know, it's more than that.

[Jamila]

There's so many things that go with it. Yeah. And then, I mean, you did pledge a black sorority as well.

[Mecca]

I did. Ooh. Shout out to my devastating Soros of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated.

[Jamila]

Okay.

I like the Deltas because y' all.

[Mecca]

Whoop ass, you know, if we have to. Exactly.

[Jamila]

I was. I was gonna get in the fight, and it was some Deltas who was gonna fight with me. And that's awful. Y' all mean business every time. Y' all definitely mean business. You know, of course, there's like, the. The historical battles between AKs and Deltas, but I never play into all of that politicking. But I always love the Deltas because they're just so. Like, first of all, a lot of Deltas I know are very, very tapped into political work. Yes, for sure. And just all the activisms and things like that, like, they're very into it. So it's like, I rock with y', all for sure.

[Mecca]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Jamila]

Shout out to.

[Mecca]

Y' all cool with us.

[Jamila]

My cousins.

[Mecca]

Y' all cool with us? Y' all cool?

[Jamila]

Y' all cool or whatever.

[Mecca]

I guess.

[Jamila]

Like, I guess. Okay, we're gonna do a little game with you. Okay, so this is our. Spin it. So this is our segment that we have, and we're gonna bring you into it. Our audience said that they want us to start including our guests in it because they were very mad at us that we didn't do it before. So now we're including our guests in. So I'm gonna let Mecca introduce the segment, and then I'm gonna read it to you. Okay, so this is our segment. Spin it. This is where y' all sing, y' all low down gutter snipe, nasty situations to us. Now remember, Jamil and I are not PR professionals. We just studied in undergrad. But we do like to give y' all a little advice with a bit of a PR spin. Remember to send your situations to at unhinged immoral pod gmail dot com. Include your race, your age, your sex, your political affiliations. If you're a boy, include your height, because that does matter. And also, you guys, I said this on Tik Tok last night. I love everyone who's been writing in. You guys are two good people. We need terrible people writing in. I want the worst of y'. All. I want your situations to be bad. I have to give a PR spin. It needs to be terrible. So terrible people hit me.

[Mecca]

Happen.

[Jamila]

What do we have this week? All right, the title of this Spin it today is how do you tell a sibling they are a loser? We're starting off strong. Terrible person. All right, here we go. Let's buckle up. My older sister, Minnie the Moocher.

My older sister, Minnie the Moocher moved to Florida from Georgia following a series of bad financial and personal setbacks. Her car got repoed. She got it back but had to borrow money from family to do so, owed her boss money for helping pay for her esthetician license, was constantly late for her rent and wasn't lucky in love. Damn. To alleviate some of the hardship, my brother decided to invite her to live with us. We figured that between the three of us splitting the rent it would be a win win situation. We would pay a whole lot less if we were to branch out to our on our own and it will allow us to save and prepare for the future. Unfortunately, this is far from the case and her moving down here really ruined my relationship with her and also is up my finances as she is still doing the same thing she was doing in Georgia. First, she is still constantly under employed. Not because she doesn't have the mental capacity to be traditionally employed, she just doesn't want to do anything that she is not passionate about. She ate that though. No shade.

I offered to get her a job at my government job that has a pension, a nine to five weekends and holidays off and starts at 20 an hour. She told me that's not her passion. So she took a part time job with no benefits and started 15 an hour. Then she had the nerve to tell us we need to have grace for her because she doesn't get paid that much so it shouldn't matter if she pays the bills late. Second, she is still constantly trying to go out on dates with bums. She met a man on Facebook Dating your stomping ground. Facebook dating your stomping ground. We gonna talk about facebook dating.

Mind you she is 29. Oh an age mate. My God I feel like she just needs to be outside to find a man. But I digress. And they started and they talked for one day at 8pm that same day he asked her to meet up with him for a surprise. She drove an hour and 30 minutes on BAL tires, gas tank on E to meet him to get hot chocolate while on the date. He then told her he wants a submissive woman so much so that if he whips out his dick and tells her to get on her knees to suck it, she would do it. Oh my goodness she still didn't leave. He then told her that she that she liked. He then told her that he could tell she liked to eat. He patted her stomach and told her I could tell.

[Mecca]

Oh my gosh.

[Jamila]

And she continued with the date. Bear with me on this part because it gets me fucking heated.

Me and my mom prioritize cooking home cooked meals. Feeding people is our love Language. But she is ruining that for me because she eats too fucking much.

This is not me fat shaming her because she's not fat at all. But, Lord, we had to double our food budget to accommodate her. Let's say I cook dinner, she loads her plate up. Then before the rest of the family even get a chance to get their plate, she already packing up her fuck ass lunchbox to bring to work in the morning. When the morning comes around, she eats leftovers for breakfast from dinner. Well, breakfast has no clock. That's the white man's game. That in and of itself gets me mad, but coupled with the fact that she doesn't contribute monetarily to the food bill. She even got food stamps, nor does she cook. She also got some shit to say about the food. She one time told my mom that the food was not anything to write home about. If it wasn't for me, my mom cooking, she would only eat fast food. And now suddenly, she's Gordon Ramsay. You're eating her up in this litter. She's always begging. She's always fucking begging for some damn food. Like I've been on strike and not cooking for the whole family. I made myself a grilled chicken. She came out of her room because she smelled food and said, that sure does look good.

Then she told my little brother to ask my mom to buy her and him a pizza because she's so hungry. Like, girl, you damn near 30, have no kids or other pressing responsibilities and can't buy a $20 pizza or cook a little chicken breast. Sorry, I just had to get the background before I asked my question.

How would you guys go about addressing her? I've tried so many different ways. I've tried being direct, but I got cussed out and called a mean person who's trying to keep her down. I tried being respectful, but still got cussed out and called me. While I love her and want her to be successful and happy, she is pissing me off so much, I kind of want to call her delusional, feckless. I don't know what that means. Loser. That got me fucked up, but I don't know how to hell drag it is.

[Mecca]

It is.

[Jamila]

But I don't know how well that will blow over. Love the podcast, by the way, and I'm so excited to see y' all grow with lurks.

[Mecca]

I love that.

[Jamila]

Wait. Oh, so deep. My God, I'm fucking crying, girl.

[Mecca]

That was hilarious.

[Jamila]

I appreciate it.

[Mecca]

I love the detail.

[Jamila]

No, the details. I want to tell Jameela what feckless.

[Mecca]

Means because I know.

[Jamila]

Jeez. I've never heard feckless.

[Mecca]

I've never heard anyone use it. I've seen it in a book.

[Jamila]

Is this a typo? Feckless. I'm so glad I've read in, like, an old timey book.

[Mecca]

Right, right, right, right.

[Jamila]

It's like an older word. Okay. A feckless person is someone who is weak, ineffective, and irresponsible. Lacking in determination, purpose, and competence. They are often described as useless, incompetent, or unable to accomplish things properly. The term originates from Scots, where fec means effect or majority. So somebody without fec is without effect. God damn, you dug deep for that one. That's why I said no. Feckless was a drag.

[Mecca]

Right, Right. I'm about to start using that.

[Jamila]

No.

[Mecca]

Yeah, you're feckless.

[Jamila]

You're feckless.

She has no feck at all. No feck.

[Mecca]

People gonna be thinking I'm saying something else. I'm like, no.

[Jamila]

Fact.

[Mecca]

Wow.

[Jamila]

I don't even know where to begin. Okay, so your sister's 29, and I don't know if you. I may have misheard it. She moved in with the mother, not the brother. I think they all moved in.

[Mecca]

I think they all lived. Again, it sounds like she said her mom was at least the brother and her.

[Jamila]

And. Oh, older sister. I knew it was an older sister because she telling you to shut up. And there's one thing about it. And. And now we get into the dynamics of the ages, and I can guarantee you the brother is younger because brother. Because brother ain't said this whole time.

[Mecca]

I know.

[Jamila]

That's the younger brother.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

You don't give a damn. Yeah. Mama hasn't said anything because she love. I love all my babies. Y' all just stop.

[Mecca]

She reason that girl like that. Enabling, sure.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Enabling. Oh, absolutely. You don't get to 29 act like that unless people have enabled you to be like that.

[Jamila]

Because why are you moving? Moving in after you done got your car repoed, your move stage. I get being down on your dick broke. That means you're broke.

[Mecca]

But.

[Jamila]

And your parents help you. I think, like, that's really a blessing to have that. But then there is a level of like, this is. This is crazy. Yeah. The fact that. The fact that you went so hard, I could tell y', all, like, me and my family, we don't care about food. And when I say don't care about food, whatever's in the refrigerator, everyone is welcome to. So the fact that y' all seem like that because Y' all are cooking family meals, right? And the fact that you're sitting here saying, but she eats so much. I know she's on y' all last nerve. I know she's doing the most. Just greedy. And, you know, I get that. Especially because, like, when you cook something and you ain't even really get a chance to get a good bite or a good second plate, it'll really piss you off. Right now there's two ways you can go about this. You could kind of, like, ice your sister out low key, which kind of seems like you're already doing. But I can tell you right now that that's just going to, like, kind of drive a bigger wedge between y'.

[Mecca]

All.

[Jamila]

But I feel like the best thing you can do is move out on your own, because I'm gonna tell you right now, she's 29 and like this. Oh, she's gonna be like this. And it's gonna be a lot easier to control what you do versus what your sister does. And sometimes to preserve a relationship within family, you have to just be like, I'm gonna take a step back, and I'm gonna readjust myself because I know that this is who you are, and I'm gonna either accept it or leave it. And so I think that you're gonna have a better chance of having a better relationship with your sister when you just move the out that house and leave everybody else in there for them family meals for them greedy, greedy guzzlers. Talk to your mama first, though. Talk to your mom. Not that your mom will listen, but just follow my frame of thought here. If you say, mama, she's ruining us.

[Mecca]

She's feckless.

[Jamila]

She's factless. She's ruining us financially. Because you said, she's late on rent. She's not contributing as much as you and your mom. It sounded like the little brother is a kid because she went and asked the little brother to go ask the mama. That's what I assume. So that means you have three adults splitting bills three ways. Once you tell your mama and then you say, if it doesn't change in X, Y, and Z, I'm gone. Then you leave it to you. Leave her and your mama together, your mom's gonna have no choice but to see how she is, and then that's gonna be Mama's.

[Mecca]

I think she look, when is your lease up?

[Jamila]

Hello?

[Mecca]

Because you did say at the beginning, her and her brother thought it would be a good idea to split it three ways instead of.

[Jamila]

So brother got to be some type of girl. No, no, no, no. That's why I was correcting you. It's a mother, cuz I was reading you. Oh, that's why I said, oh. So I just read brother. Oh, my bad.

[Mecca]

Her.

[Jamila]

The sister. Mother thought it would be a good idea.

[Mecca]

Oh, that changes it then. I don't know if you want to leave your mom.

[Jamila]

My mother decided to invite her to live with us. So that's why I was saying, I think the little brother is a kid. That's why you going asking for pizza from the brother.

Oh, I. Oh, I know exactly what happened. You said, go tell mommy you hungry. That's what I used to do. My little brother, cuz you. You the young one get pizza with you.

[Mecca]

Okay, that changes it because I don't know. I wouldn't want to leave my mom in the Cool, my brother.

[Jamila]

That's why I was saying, talk. Try and talk to your mama first, you know, and you seem to be the responsible sibling, and your mom might trust you a little more. Your sister seems to be a known feckless, so.

But I would still start saving that money. Yeah.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

And let your mama know that I'm. I'm about to.

[Mecca]

This is.

[Jamila]

This is what my next step is. So you might want to figure out how to address her government job. This is what I personally would do. First of all, I wouldn't be living with my mother and my sister at 29. And that's no shade to people living at home. I just know my mother and my sister. I would kill myself. Like, good God. It's just too many voices. It's too many opinions we about to fight every goddamn day. I know I would not be able to last in there. So I'll be like, let me tell y' all what I'm about to do. Thank y' all for this time. I'm gathering my coin. When this lease is up, I'm gonna get up out of here. So y' all might want to figure out how y' all about to move when this lease get up. Y' all can stay here if y' all want to. Maybe y' all need to downsize because you said mom invited you, so she was clearly living there.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

So it's like, no, mom invited the sister who was down on her dick right, to live. So I'm saying, like, she was already living there, and then they're gonna split rent. So it's like, clearly it may not even be an apartment type of deal. She probably just living at home, like, at the moment house. So it's like you ain't even got even think about that. Yeah.

[Mecca]

So.

[Jamila]

Yeah. So it might not even be a rent thing. You could just go and get the. And you said you have a good government job.

[Mecca]

Good job.

[Jamila]

Yeah. You know, if you just save for three, six to six months, you could get you enough for a security deposit first month around. I assume you got good credit, but not that you would need. But they got so many programs and stuff now. Yeah, I love that because get you a CPN like some of them other folks. I don't go that far. Hey, but you can get your apartment with bad credit if you got enough money to get the people. I know a couple of of people that can help you out with them CPNs. Okay. With some stubs if you need it.

[Mecca]

Right? Right.

[Jamila]

Listen. Oh good. But I mean your sister gonna keep eating and she gonna keep being greedy, but that mama definitely. And let's get into the Facebook dating, cuz try to do me just now.

[Mecca]

Wait, do you you like it or you don't like it?

[Jamila]

So I. I am a veteran of the dating apps. When a new dating app drops, I will try it. When Facebook came out with Facebook dating, I just did it because it was right there. And Facebook dating is everything you would imagine it to be. So your sister is actually a fucking bum for hopping on there and really fucking with a nigga off face and really grabbing one and really grabbing a nigga up off there. Because I really just. Because you can connect it to your Facebook account. So it's so easy. You just like, oh yeah, okay. And you start swiping exactly who you think is on Facebook dating is on Facebook dating. So finding a man on there who says that, oh, you need to be submissive. I could tell you eat, get on your knees and suck my dick right now. It's just so much. I know that N was bald. I know he was dressed in color coordination. He had on skinny true religions. He had on a fitted and he had a loose drawboxer.

[Mecca]

Oh gosh. I saw the same exact person.

[Jamila]

I seen it in my head and it's like, okay, I wish this was a call. I wish I could call you and ask you some questions. Cause I wanna know what exactly is your sister sister's passion? Like what is the passion project? What are the things she wants to do? And let me tell you this as someone who works in that space, girl, you. You could be making money. You your money off. That's the easiest thing you can tap into. I'm thinking maybe she's trying to be a single or something? No. She said she finished esthetician school, but was that her passion? Because she didn't get back into it. That's easy to. Because I was gonna say now with the esthetician, she was saying, hurt. She owed her boss. I'm like, maybe that's not her passion. Because it's like, girl, your sister don't know. She don't know. I know what you want to do. Your sister don't know what the hell she want to do.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

She just.

[Mecca]

Some people, it takes them longer. Some people, you know, they 40, 50, 60, you know, they still got a roommate. No shade. Because you need that in places like la. But she don't know what she want to do. You got to just leave her alone and let her learn on her own. Which sucks, because your mom, clearly, her mom has enabled this. And that's why the girl keeps thinking it's okay to do. Does she know that she is a bum? Yes. Does she know she's feckless? She knows.

[Jamila]

She knows.

[Mecca]

But like most bums, right? But like, nobody, you know, holds them their feet to the fire and makes them accountable to like, paying the bills or like, there's no. What's the recourse if she don't pay the bill? What's gonna happen? Right? You gonna pay for it? Cause that's what probably has happened her whole life.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

If I drop the ball, one of y' all is gonna pick it up. Because you always have.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

So at this point, you just going have to drop the ball. And if your mom is not willing to, you're going to have to drop your mama too. I'm sorry.

[Jamila]

No shame.

[Mecca]

You got to leave your ball, cuz now.

[Jamila]

Cuz now it's going to start affecting you.

[Mecca]

Right? Right.

[Jamila]

And you're going to start being sad. It's going to start affecting your dating life because you're going to go to. You're going to go to the date, complain about your sister talking about some she greed, and they're going to be like, oh, this is too much baggage.

[Mecca]

Right? Right.

[Jamila]

And then now you can't have a man like, come on, girl. Like, you going to have to. You going to have to make some hard decisions and quickly and clearly, like, your sister don't give a damn. Like I said, bums are their bums. That chicken breast smell good. You know what I'm saying? She know. She know what she doing.

[Mecca]

And she get food stamps and then share with y'.

[Jamila]

All. Now that's like, it's out of pocket.

[Mecca]

That's like.

[Jamila]

That's the only you could contribute. It's too hard to get them food stamps today, girl. She gonna have to come off them stamps.

[Mecca]

You could at least gave them that. Like, I ain't got the rent this month, but I got the food stamps. Like, okay, okay.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

How your mama sounds? That would be enough for your mom. That's the crazy part. And she didn't even do that.

[Mecca]

I would have just stole her food stamps and I. Hello?

[Jamila]

Give her that card, girl. And what's the pen? Okay, I'm. I'm calling and changing the pen. Actually, I was going to say, you know, you could call and have them send you a new one.

[Mecca]

Right?

[Jamila]

Hello? Right. Yeah. You know your sister's information.

[Mecca]

I'm sure she does. You can figure out that's your mama.

[Jamila]

Now, this is a federal crime. But I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you to. I'm just telling you there's ways. So this is the. Too lazy to work. She ain't gonna send you. She ain't gonna say. Because what's she getting with the food sample? She eating all y' all food, too. She's probably going up to the corner store where they accept edt.

[Mecca]

And how she. What about her Internet? Like, how is she using Internet? Or like, family plan. That's what I'm saying. No, we changing the code. Like, change the code immediately. Change the password.

[Jamila]

Yeah. Or something. Something you can't use. You can't have the WI FI code. If you want to be petty. If you want to start cooking like you already cooked one chicken breast. Lord, how much food y' all making? It ain't enough for leftovers.

[Mecca]

It's not.

[Jamila]

Because why is you making so much lunch? First of all, I'm not mad that she's eating leftovers for breakfast. Because that's the type of shit I do. You don't. You can eat what you want when you wake up in the morning. I don't give a damn. But why are you eating everybody's food now? I can't have leftovers for lunch either. That's just trifling.

[Mecca]

See, I would have to get little fridge in my room.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

And put my stuff in there.

[Jamila]

Start separating some things.

[Mecca]

Yeah. To put a little lock on it. Don't come in here.

[Jamila]

But you know what's funny? I can tell that y' all are also close because the fact that your sister told you every waking detail about that date.

[Mecca]

No.

[Jamila]

Yes. With that bum assimilator. He said, get on Your knees and suck my. Like that is a sign of close to this. And it's like, well if you're that close to your sister, which cuss her out. I'm very close to my siblings. Bitch, you need to stop fucking playing. And you gonna have to look at your sister and be like, I don't wanna hear about nary another nigga. I wanna hear about a job. Listen, when you have that level of closeness with your siblings, that is also what kind of you in the end. Because they feel like they could you because you are so close. And as someone who was close with my brother, who was younger than me, who definitely has tried it in the past with this same type of financial. You do have to be strong within boundaries. Like yeah, we could talk. Where's my money though?

[Mecca]

Where's my money?

[Jamila]

And I feel so proud of myself because my brother quite recently told my mom, she said, I don't know what you said to him, but he said he don't play with you without that money. He said send you money. Y money the is we talking about you going to have to just stiff arm your sister. Like clearly y' all are close. And I know it can kind of get like the lines are blurred. Cuz it's like you're my older sister and you probably feel uncomfortable like telling your older sister you're a bum and a loser. Like get your together. But like it might be more effective coming from cuz like imagine yeah. As an older sibling if my brother looked at me and said you're a bum. I'd be like, whoa, yeah, get your shit together. Oh, okay. Like yeah, I have older cousins that are definitely. Oh you know what I'm saying? And when we see them, we let them know every time this is a mess. And I know that that stings a different type of way. So yeah, sometimes you gonna have to be that bitchy younger sister, which I don't. And bring my own brother in on it. Yeah, I don't care.

[Mecca]

Bring the baby in.

[Jamila]

Let that little seven year old say you're a bum. However.

Get everybody into something to say too. Cause that's the realest thing when the baby. What you mean? And yeah, you telling you telling grandma get us a pizza. You ate all the pizza. Because I know she ate all the pizza. She only gave him one piece.

[Mecca]

Yep.

[Jamila]

The way the grease you just.

[Mecca]

The gluttony.

[Jamila]

You just described the gluttony.

[Mecca]

You gotta make it uncomfortable because when people get comfortable in your space then they just gonna do whatever they their bad Habits are, they're just gonna continue to do them. So you got to make it comfortable.

[Jamila]

And that's why get anchovy pizza.

[Mecca]

Oh, you want some pizza? Oh, we've got anchovy.

[Jamila]

Yeah, I like anchovies.

[Mecca]

Oh, dang. Just my luck.

[Jamila]

I like sardines and all that. Whatever.

[Mecca]

She don't like, get what? Do the stuff she doesn't like.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

And then, then it's like, well, if you want something different, are you the.

[Jamila]

Oldest or the youngest?

[Mecca]

The youngest.

[Jamila]

So you have a different understanding.

[Mecca]

Yeah. But he also was a bum at, at, at a point in his life where like, I remember being 20 and he was, he's three years older than me. And I was like, oh, I had just started my career and he was like asking me for money and I'd be like, you are older than me. And he'd ask me like multiple times. I'd be like, are you gonna pay me back? And it would take him a while to pay me back, but he would pay me back. But it just, I remember being like, you know what? I'm gonna have to give him grace because some people take a lot longer than others and it's. But don't worry, it's hard.

[Jamila]

So it's like, I totally get it. And it's like, I'm still not where I would like to like, you know, completely want to be a 29. So I also get her kind of like trying to find her way. Especially like if you're trying to tap into like a level of creative space, it's not an easy thing to like wake up one day and just be lucrative being a creative. So I, I'm, I'm trying to give sister grace, but she also has a lot of other non redeemable qualities. Told us what her passion is. I know because I, if it would have been like, she wants to be a director. Oh, sister, you ain't gonna make it for a while. So you got to figure this out. Yeah. Stopping all the people food, right. And maybe you can in some. If you want to ease your way into it. This is how you get her. Talk to her about that passion. She's gonna get super excited, right? Like, what are you like, what are you gonna be doing, girl? Like, and really like just stroke her ego and as soon as she gets so excited, go. Well, you're never gonna get there if you keep being a bum ass. You want this or not? Passion requires dedication. I have very strict conversations with, with my friends about their careers. I have two friends specifically that want to Be in a creative space. And when it's time to have that serious conversation, I look at them in their eye. Do you want this or not? Right? I don't play those games. Do you want. You are moving to LA with 3 cents and a baby on your back. That's the mentality you gotta have. If you really want this, you don't want it enough. And so sometimes you gotta talk to them like that. And when you start talking about their. Their creative side and their career and they get so excited and start getting that. That boost of energy now tell them what they need to do. Boom.

[Mecca]

I usually just be like, oh, what are you doing currently? Oh, yeah, you don't want enough. Yeah, don't ask me no questions until you. Yeah, you don't want my advice because you. You don't want it enough. Yeah, but once you want it enough, then come see me, right?

[Jamila]

My advice don't work for people who.

[Mecca]

Ain'T currently doing it. Don't advise.

[Jamila]

Not gonna work with someone who's not hustling. Because I'm hustling now, right? So if you're not hustling like me, then I don't want to talk to you.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Well, sister, good luck. Your sister is not hustling. I would love an update on this. My goodness, I definitely need an update. And you know what? I need your sister. Tell your sister that you told her business and told us and let her watch this so she can watch us drag you and her and all the things. And then tell her to write us as well from her perspective so that we can spin her because we need to help her too. Your sister in Facebook dating? Yes. She gets her hinge. She needs our help on a couple of different fronts, and we're her same age, so we can really see each other. You don't have no respect for yourself. No, no, no. And she need to. Girl, you don't need to be dating right now. No shade. But yeah, tell your sister sitting. And you're not even dating Rich. Who could help you get up out the spot. When she said. Well, when she said date, she's worried about. I said, oh, okay. She trying to get about the spot. But then she said, Facebook. Then I said, she's not trying to get out the spot.

[Mecca]

No, she's not.

[Jamila]

You're not worried?

[Mecca]

No feckless. No fec.

[Jamila]

No fecklessness around these parts. I hope that helps. Girl.

Thanks so much for coming in. Did you enjoy this?

[Mecca]

Oh, my gosh, I love yapping with y'. All. Y'. All this is so fun. Are so amazing and I'm, like, excited to see what your career does.

[Jamila]

Thank you.

[Mecca]

How this podcast, like, excels from where it is right now, so thank you for having me. I had a blast.

[Jamila]

Absolutely. So what are you currently working on that you want to shout out boost or whatever? Yes.

[Mecca]

Hey, so you can catch me on scoop all. All over social media. Right now I'm working on some secretive things. One being a. A show, a TV show that I'm writing, which is like a different set of skills I haven't really used. Yeah, writing. I also am directing some stuff on All Deaf coming up and just, you know, being a mother and spending time with my children.

[Jamila]

Before we end, I did want to ask you a little bit about writing in the comments. Somebody's space. Okay. I feel like no one ever talks about the writing part. We talk about everything else. How is that, like, in the writer's room? What is. What does like that look like?

[Mecca]

It's different for all deaf because we do a lot of non scripted.

[Jamila]

Okay.

[Mecca]

So for us, that's more bulleting and then kind of adjusting as we're shooting as we see stuff happen. But we have done stuff on All Deaf and I have done stuff in my personal life that. That requires comedic writing. I think you always have to write from a. Like, your starting point has to be real or sincere. And if you don't know about whatever it is you're writing on, then that's. You have to research. I think some of the best writers are researchers. They go and find out what they don't know, and then they. Their creativity adds to what they found out. So just be really good at researching and just be honest and be yourself. Because not everybody. You're not everybody's cup of tea. But the people that like your tea love.

It. Right? So don't worry about it. You ain't got to write for everybody. Just write for people that like your tea.

[Jamila]

That's it. That's such good advice. I'm sorry.

[Mecca]

No, that's it. That's all I had to say.

[Jamila]

Real good. That's all I had to say, Period. Well, thank you so much for coming. Y' all already know where to find us. 100 and more everywhere. New episodes every Thursday. Make sure you guys are subscribed to the Patreon.

[Mecca]

Hello.

[Jamila]

We got to pay these bills. $8.00. Exclusive of content. You get early access to episodes. You get early access to merch drops, ticket drops, drop drops, all the things you need. And yeah, this has been another amazing episode and we'll see you guys next week. Bye.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

Cut the camera.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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