The One Where My Life Change Because of a Post It...That's Not What This Book Is About

Summary

Podcast Summary: Unlearn16 Episode - "The One Where My Life Change Because of a Post It...That's Not What This Book Is About"

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Unlearn16: Class is in Session, host Unlearn16 delves into a nostalgic journey of high school athletics and the profound life lessons learned through sports. Joined by one of his oldest friends, Sally Peel, the duo reminisces about their time on the senior girls' volleyball team, the influential Coach Gord Williamson, and how these experiences shaped their confidence, teamwork, and sense of purpose.

High School Volleyball Tryouts

The episode kicks off with Unlearn16 introducing Sally, highlighting their long-standing friendship that dates back to ninth grade. They share their initial experiences trying out for the high school volleyball team, emphasizing their contrasting playing styles. While Sally possessed natural talent as a middle hitter, Unlearn16 was more of a grinder, focused on diving and pushing boards during warm-ups.

• Unlearn16: "Sally was a much more natural talent. She was a middle hitter. I was a little bit more of a grinder… my only superpower was diving everywhere." [02:26]

Their journey took a pivotal turn when Coach Gord Williamson handed Unlearn16 a post-it note inviting him to senior practice, despite his doubts about making the team.

• Unlearn16: "I was sitting on the bench… and then I was handed a post it that said senior practice, 7am." [05:00]

Coach Gord Williamson's Philosophy

Central to their story is Coach Gord Williamson, whose coaching philosophy emphasized heart, teamwork, and work ethic over sheer skill. Unlearn16 and Sally describe Gord as a gruff yet caring figure who was deeply committed to his team, often driving the rental van to tournaments despite personal inconveniences.

• Unlearn16: "He picked people with heart. You can't teach a sense of team and a work ethic. That's either there or it's not." [08:46]

Gord's strict yet supportive approach fostered a disciplined environment where players were held accountable but also felt valued.

• Sally: "He never yelled at us because we were so good. But when we messed up, he'd yell, knowing it goes for the team." [12:14]

Team Dynamics and Camaraderie

Unlearn16 and Sally highlight the unique camaraderie within the team, where diverse individuals from different social circles came together with a common goal. This unity transcended typical high school cliques, creating lasting bonds among teammates.

• Unlearn16: "There was a bond that exists there that is insurmountable." [42:18]

They fondly recall team rituals, such as listening to "Life is a Highway" and "We are the Champions" during warm-ups, which reinforced team spirit and mutual respect.

• Sally: "We always had a good time, but it stood up to Gord." [08:34]

Memorable Games and Achievements

The duo recounts specific tournaments, notably their performance in Ottawa against powerhouses like Mayfield. Despite being outmatched on paper, their teamwork and resilience led them to remarkable victories, earning them respect and a silver medal—a testament to their collective effort.

• Unlearn16: "We were way out of our league. But as a team, we were just better." [07:02]
• Sally: "That silver medal wasn't the most impressive athletic thing I've ever watched." [19:37]

Hardships and Discipline: The 'Boards'

A significant portion of the conversation centers around the grueling warm-up routine involving pushing boards—a physically demanding exercise designed to build endurance and unity. Both Unlearn16 and Sally describe the intense physical strain and their varying abilities to endure the exertion.

• Unlearn16: "You have to do lines with a board… your quads start screaming." [04:36]
• Sally: "My quads were burning… I couldn't sit because my ass hurts." [32:22]

This shared hardship reinforced their teamwork, as failing to perform led to collective penalty rather than individual blame.

• Unlearn16: "If you messed up, we all did it. You win as a team, you lose as a team." [34:43]

Life Lessons Learned from Volleyball

Through their athletic endeavors, both hosts emphasize the invaluable life lessons gleaned from sports. They discuss how volleyball instilled a strong sense of purpose, confidence, and the importance of giving one's all—a metaphor for approaching life challenges with determination.

• Unlearn16: "If you're going to hit it hard, hit it out. That's just a beautiful metaphor for the way that everybody should walk through life." [14:52]
• Sally: "Being involved in team sports teaches you so much." [39:50]

The Lasting Impact and Friendships

The episode underscores the enduring impact of their high school sports experience on their adult lives. The friendships formed on the court remain strong decades later, illustrating the lasting bonds forged through shared goals and mutual respect.

• Unlearn16: "We've been out of school for, like, 30 years… there's a foundation to that." [42:12]
• Sally: "I can still call easily six people from that team." [42:31]

Reflections on Sports as an Outlet for Confidence and Mental Health

Unlearn16 and Sally reflect on the role of sports as a crucial outlet for building confidence and managing mental health. They advocate for providing young people with activities that offer purpose and a sense of belonging, highlighting how team sports uniquely contribute to personal growth and resilience.

• Unlearn16: "If you can find a sense of purpose, you will feel useful, engaged, powerful." [44:07]
• Sally: "It's an outlet… something for yourself." [39:50]

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a playful nod to their earlier discussions about the grueling board exercises, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and the enduring value of teamwork. Unlearn16 and Sally's heartfelt conversation serves as a reminder of the profound ways in which sports can shape individuals and foster lifelong connections.

• Unlearn16: "This has been amazing… have a good night, guys. Dismissed." [46:29]

Notable Quotes

• Unlearn16: "You can teach skill. You can't teach a sense of team and a work ethic." [08:46]
• Sally: "We just cheer as a team, we celebrate as a team, and we take the freaking hits as a team." [34:43]
• Unlearn16: "Athletics has a way of tapping into something different… a sense of confidence that nothing else gives." [24:43]
• Sally: "Being involved in team sports teaches you so much." [39:50]

Final Thoughts

This episode of Unlearn16: Class is in Session beautifully captures the essence of how high school athletics, under the guidance of a dedicated coach, can profoundly influence personal development and lifelong friendships. Through laughter, challenging memories, and heartfelt reflections, Unlearn16 and Sally Peel illustrate that beyond the physicality of sports lies a deeper journey of self-discovery and collective growth.

Transcript

[A]

Classes in session. Hey, everybody. And welcome to Unlearn 16 classes in session. This is associated with one of the chapters in my book. You're gonna have a little QR code that's gonna bring you right here so you can go read the book and see everything. Today, guys, today for my post it chapter, I have with me one of my oldest friends. I mean, I'm not calling you old.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

But we're the same oldest. We met in grade nine. Silly feel. We're not the same age.

[B]

We're the same age.

[A]

I was way ahead or way behind. I don't know. How does it. Okay, fine. We're the same age. Fine.

[B]

And I'm a December baby, so I'm definitely younger than you.

[A]

Oh, you're. You're late. Like. Oh, so you don't. You don't turn 50 until the like very late.

[B]

I'm barely even turning 50 this year.

[A]

So Sally and I played on this. You're barely 50. You're 50, honey. Sally and I played on the same high school volleyball team. So if you read the book and you read the chapter about the post it, which we'll talk about a little bit. I brought Celie on to reminisce about that time in our lives, why it was important what we remember. Apparently Sally doesn't remember anything because she's older than me. You guys keep that in mind.

[B]

No younger.

[A]

And then to talk a little bit about women in sport and what it meant to us and all of those kinds of things. And you guys have to know, Sally and I, so we graduated in 94. I know a lot of people listening are like, I was born in 97.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

Kids were born in the 2000s.

[A]

Defensive.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They should fire.

[B]

I don't have the authority.

[A]

Or else you would. When. When you guys read the book and you read about the post it that I got. So. So just to. Just to recap a little bit, when we tried out for volleyball, Sally and I were very different volleyball players. Sally was a much like you had much more natural talent. She was a suit. Well, it's true. You. You on the grade nine team. You're a star. Like you. You had that talent. And I was a little bit more of a grinder. Like volleyball. I was okay in grade nine. Come grade ten. Ms. Rosa. Shout out. She sat me on the bench for a long time. We didn't really see eye to eye.

[B]

No.

[A]

And that was when I thought, oh, I'm never making the senior team because Gord Williamson. Shout out. Gord Williamson. I'm gonna try to get him on this podcast, I swear to God. Shout out to Gord Williamson. I thought he kind of walked and surveyed the school and decided who he was going to pull up to play up onto his senior volleyball team, which everybody wanted to play for because they were amazing.

[B]

Yes. And which I got to play for in offset with them.

[A]

And I actually hit the tail end. Exactly.

[B]

I actually hit the court because she.

[A]

Was better, way better than me. She was. She was.

[B]

I'm just saying. But I barely played well. But that.

[A]

I barely played around that.

[B]

But it was very cool to be at offset with that team.

[A]

So just so you guys know, high school in Ontario goes up to grade 13 when we were kids, right? So she played. Sally played up at. Great. The end of grade, grade 10 and then onward. But in grade 10, I'm sitting on the bench. And while I'm sitting on the bench, Gordon walks by me and I'm like, well, there it goes. I'm never playing. Do you know how I even got the call to play? I don't even know if you know this story. So I was sitting on the bench. He was never asking me to try out for this girls volleyball team. I'm like, that's done. And then I played rugby that spring and Mr. Hussey. Shout out to Mr. Hussey. Mr. Hussey was a coach for the rugby team. And I just played all out. And he's the one that told. Told Will that you gotta give this girl a shot because she just plays all heart. She's all heart. She's. She goes. He goes, I don't even know if she plays volleyball, but she's all heart on the rugby pitch. Just give her a shot. So that's why he even let me try out. Okay, Right? And then I tried out. And when we tried out, you sort of. They post a very last list. Now, for me, Sally was like smoking balls, right? Like just friggin. She was a middle hitter. She hit the ball like a friggin superhero. Oh my God. Meanwhile, my only superpower was diving everywhere.

[B]

And like, I don't dive everywhere.

[A]

And we had this thing where we pushed boards. So we had a 2x4 that was wrapped in a towel about 2ft wide, and you put it on the ground and you bend over and you push it up and down. We're in a gym right now.

[B]

You do lines.

[A]

You do lines? Yeah, like suicides, but with a board, if that makes sense now. I was amazing at it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Sally, I was horrible. She still can't do one.

[B]

And.

[A]

No, I should get one out of the thing.

[B]

No, because I won't be able to do it. I told people. I even told my kids. I'm like, there were these things called boards, which is exactly what you explained. And I was like, I'm going on this podcast, and my friend Joanna, she would go laps up and down this. I could barely even.

[A]

You put too much pressure on it.

[B]

You were telling me how to do it. It didn't matter. My quads were screaming the whole time. It hurts, right? And I literally told my kids, though. I said I couldn't get up and down the court. Everybody was, like, shouting at me. Finally, I'm like, I can't do it. And I would, like, lay down, remember? And Will, the coach, he would be like, forget it, silly. Just get up. And he didn't make me do it because I was so.

[A]

She was so good. Because I was so bad. Meanwhile, like, no, meanwhile, the board. Joanna's up and down, guys. That was my only way in. I. If I wasn't going to be a great volleyball player, I had to be the player that would kill myself. Oh, my God. Right?

[B]

I couldn't do it. I would just fall over.

[A]

So when I. Well, we. We tried out for the senior team, I didn't think. I didn't know if I was going to make it. Sally, obviously. Oh, my God, stop. Oh, no, no, no. I'm not. I'm not taking away from what we became. I'm just saying at the beginning, like, mostly I sat on the bench, but everybody else got to see a list at school. But I was at a co op placement. So Gord called. He said, you'll go check the secretary's office. So when I walked into the secretary's office, she handed me a post it that said senior practice, 7am and I still have it in my. In my wallet now.

[B]

And Bill would pick me up every day for that practice. Even though I lived four minutes from.

[A]

The school, he'd pick me up, too. It's true.

[B]

And you would be in the car. Cheryl would be in the car. Everybody up for practice.

[A]

So crazy.

[B]

My parents would laugh. They're like, you literally have to walk through a path.

[A]

I'm like, no, but it was just like. It was. It's interesting. And I want to talk about him as a coach. I want to talk about that team because there was something pivotal about that team. And I know you went on to play university ball, and I went on to play university sports, but I don't Know what do you think? And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's just me, but do you. There was something magical about that team. Do you think?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Like we all just. I don't know, we just had our thing. I don't know what it was because.

[A]

I think about us on paper. Like, if you were to look at our team on paper, meaning our size. We were tiny. See? How tall are you?

[B]

Five eight.

[A]

So tiny. Sally was one of the players a middle hitter nowadays. Yeah, clearly was one of our. And on paper, I think. And even walking into the court individually, people will be like, oh, whatever, it's Anderson.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But. But what I think was magic, and this is, I think a testament to will, was that as a team we were just better. Do you understand what I mean? Like, it was like our individual talents all. And I never felt like there was huge ego on that team.

[B]

No, we just genuinely liked each other, I think. Right.

[A]

Like, I think was there. I don't remember.

[B]

Genuinely liked each other. Yeah. And we were always joking around with each other that you started volleyball mix. Do you still have the volleyball mix?

[A]

The tape?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

The music.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I should play a little Life as a Highway right now. If I had that technical ability.

[B]

Life is a highway. Right. And then. Yeah, you. You had the mix and you had to have that. We had a ghetto blaster.

[A]

That's right. And you would bring in ghetto blaster anymore. Exactly.

[B]

But you would bring in. You would bring in a ghetto blaster. What we called. And then we would play that in Life is a Highway.

[A]

That's a Life is a Highway. Little Arithmetics was on that warmup tape. There was a lot of we are. This is how.

[B]

You had Shamiraquay.

[A]

This is how humble we were. We would also play we are the Champions.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

On our warmup tape. People must have hated us, like just.

[B]

Or they were intimidated.

[A]

We always had a good time, though. But I think it stands to go into gourd.

[B]

But it was discipline, disciplined with gourd. The warmup was the exact same every single time. And. And then. And he would. We would know where we're going. It was like a university warm up. Because I say there's. There's so many teams. Because I'll even watch some high school teams and they're just kind of doing whatever. Right. But when you get to university, everything is, you know, this is what we're doing first, this is what we're doing second. And then it's a whole warmup that's scheduled And Gord had that all the time.

[A]

And I think that when he picked us, too, I honestly do believe he. He picked a team. He just didn't pick players. And. And he said this, that he picked people with heart. And he. And he used to say, you can teach skill. You can teach a skill. You can't teach us, like, a sense of team and a heart and a work ethic. That's either there or it's not there. And we've had a few people that, like, had a bit of skill but didn't last too long on that team or maybe sat on the bench because the heart wasn't there. Right. So as we started playing and it. I also find it interesting that he was like, to this day, we've. We've still talked to him. I talk to him often, but to this day, it's like he had this thing where he was, like, a typical guy. Like, he was a gruff guy, drove a truck. Like, he wasn't warm and fuzzy.

[B]

No, he wasn't warm and fuzzy.

[A]

But if I had to call to get out of jail, I could have called.

[B]

Yeah. And you knew he cared about everybody. Well, he cared so much that he drove. The member drove the rental van. And, like, because we told him, even though we were going into an underground with the rental van, remember that we're going into the underground with the rental van. And he said. And it was hitting the top barrier.

[A]

It was sweeping just a little bit. Just a little bit of the barrier.

[B]

No, no. We convinced him that it'll be fine. That's how much he, like, just believed in us.

[A]

It wasn't fine. We got halfway down there, and I'm sitting in the back, and you start seeing the roof divot in. We're. And then we're like, now what do we do?

[B]

Cheryl's like, it'll be fine.

[A]

Was his hand broken at that time? Remember, his hand was broken at some point. Was he. Was that the time? Or was that a different time? Anyways, and he had to get out, and he had to let out the air from the tires and ruin the rims. I don't even know how you returned that van.

[B]

I don't even know.

[A]

Because he had to look.

[B]

He had to take the fall for that. That was it. Because I remember Shell going, it's fine. Don't even worry.

[A]

It's fine. It's fine.

[B]

Everybody was like, it's gonna be fine. Even though it was touching, like, the barrier, it's just the. Oh, yeah.

[A]

What a nightmare.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I also remember Like, I mean, we won pretty much everything. But playing on that team, like, you guys gotta know, we were at practice at 7:00am Five days a week, and he took us to tournaments nine out of 12 weekends. Yeah, like, I didn't even know he had the commitment.

[B]

Like, that's. That's the commitment.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, what was his family doing all that time sale. Like, think about that. Like, you go away with other people's kids for nine weekends of 12 weekends in that particular. You know. But I mean, he was. He. He was rough too. I mean, I.

[B]

So you talk about those pivotal moments, too. And so, like, I remember. I think we were in Ottawa for a tournament, and I think I messed up a couple times. It was a pivotal game. And he never yelled at me, like, really ever.

[A]

Like, you know who he yelled at.

[B]

Me, but he really didn't yell at me. But I remember he yelled at me in that game and he was. I don't even remember what nobody said. Do you remember that? Like, he just. He just. We had a timeout because I think I hit two balls into the net or something. And then I think he really wanted to win this game and he was just, like, smart enough or he did something like. But he pointed and he yelled. I was like, oh, my God. But after that, it turned around and we ended up winning the game.

[A]

See, there was players he could yell at, though. He could yell at me, he could yell at you, he could yell at Cheryl, and that's it. If there's. If he yelled at Erica. Love you, Erica. If you're listening, Erica would put. You don't yell at Erica Gamble. Like, don't. You. Don't yell at her. Don't yell at Kelly. You could yell at Lisa back in the day, but there are players, you know, that you can yell at. And then. So I feel like he would. He would yell at you or me because he knew it goes for the team. But I can direct.

[B]

But, like, really yell at me.

[A]

Yeah, I can throw that.

[B]

Really yell at me. Oh, yeah, that's all.

[A]

I mean, now I don't think he get, like, now he's thrown some. Some clipboards.

[B]

No, that's what we joke about. Chairs. He threw. He threw a chair that same game, right? Because if you were on the bench.

[A]

You don't sit near him.

[B]

If you were on the bench and you knew he was upset, you guys would all just like, come over towards the fence. You could just start to throw.

[A]

Well, yeah, and he would. He would slam down on the side of the the bench. And you're like, you just don't sit that.

[B]

No, you just don't.

[A]

But the thing was, it was all the. It wasn't a mistake. He would get upset with as much, you know, what he got really upset with. I think it. And this is so true again, pivotal moment, which is why I think it informs so much of who I am. He got upset. If you weren't playing with heart, meaning if you're gonna hit the ball, hit it friggin hard. If it goes out the court, cool. If you're gonna hit, if you're gonna serve, hit it hard. If you need to get to, you know, dive for the ball. If you do that, there's no yelling. But if it looks like you hesitated, if it looks like you backed up, if it looks like you didn't give it your all, you're like, oh, somebody else will get that. Well, then that's what the. And, and for me, even in life, that, that is it. If you're going to hit it hard, hit it out. Right? That's just like a beautiful metaphor for the way that everybody should walk through life understanding that, you know, sometimes you lose the point. But how did you play? And listening, like being on that team, not only surrounded by players that were technically way better than me, you know, and I. And I think over time I definitely, obviously got better. But.

[B]

But we all got better too.

[A]

We all got better. We all got better and we got better. And the reason why I think we were so freaking powerful was because I think we got better with the thing we needed to bring to the game. Do you understand what I mean by that? Like. Like we all had different things that we were maybe great at. And it was like, well, that. You bring that thing. You bring that thing no matter how much, no matter what. Like, I'm not letting you set a ball. But you. That's not your thing.

[B]

Can I tell you, I'm the setter on my team now.

[A]

Listen, you're now on playing with old ladies. So all of your.

[B]

No. And guys, all of your. I played coed and we lost our setter. And nobody else wanted to be a setter. So I said, guys. So I sat.

[A]

Now listen.

[B]

It was real, like it was bad in the very beginning. And I'm still like. And they know, they know that, you know, I'm not a setter by trade at all. So they'll. So they'll give me grace. So they'll give me grace if I have a bad set to them now. But nobody wanted to set and if nobody wants to set, then listen.

[A]

But that's what you got to keep. You got to just pick it up. Like my thing was definitely serving. The really sad part about my body were amazing. Okay, let me tell you something so sad. So obviously I'm 49, way older than you, apparently.

[B]

Yes, way older than me.

[A]

And I played in this league in the, in the way, which was so much fun. It was a lot of fun or whatever serving overhand. And I served once and something. But people say menopause, perimenopause, frozen shoulder, all of the rotator cuff, all of these different things. But peel. I hit the ball and on contact here, something happened in my shoulder. I almost threw up. And so now I can't if I'm going to even hit the ball.

[B]

I. How long was this?

[A]

This just this winter. So I've had to.

[B]

I, I Do you have frozen shoulder?

[A]

I, I don't. I had to serve under.

[B]

Oh my God. But did you miss?

[A]

No, I got the ball over under him.

[B]

No, no, no. But can I tell you, it's embarrassing. There's a couple of people on my team. There's a couple of people on my team and one guy in particular that when he says he doesn't trust himself with the overhand, like if it's a critical point, he'll underhand serve and he's missed.

[A]

No, no. And at that point you should just walk.

[B]

I'm like, exactly, exactly.

[A]

Have a nice day.

[B]

If you serve underhand and you miss it, like, that's when I would yell at him on the court every single time. He's like, I know, I'm taking it. I'm like, you don't miss if you serve underhand.

[A]

That's also a rule of life. Rule of life, rule of life. If you're going to play under him, you're going to play it safe, get the job done or you have to quit.

[B]

It just made no sense. Like, how can you not serve it? In serving under.

[A]

You know what else was cool about Anderson in that time and about. So this volleyball team, which I also think super important. We were the girls senior volleyball team at Anderson. Was the team, the team at Anderson, There was no other team that took priority, no other team that was like the, the prized kind of possession because for a very long time we kicked ass. And what was cool about that is there was a level of respect for girls on athletes that I think was way ahead of its time during me. Like, think about most schools. Most schools are the guys basketball team or maybe a Guy's football team or whatever. But that school was. No. Oh, no, no. That's the girls.

[B]

Girls volleyball team. Yep.

[A]

And there was a power.

[B]

We went to offset. How many times in a row?

[A]

So many times.

[B]

So many times in Officer. So many times in a row.

[A]

Do you remember playing in office. Speaking of learning hard lessons when we got sober.

[B]

Yeah, that's the main thing at Mac. We played at Mac, guys, we lost, but against Mayfield, which is my husband's school. And so he constantly brings up. Remember with Barb Aetica, I feel like it's. And she had a scholarship, I want to say, to Stanford. And she was so tall. So I'm five' eight. How tall is she?

[A]

And her thighs, guys, were my waist okay. When she jumped to hit the ball.

[B]

I had to block her.

[A]

This is what you did. And forget blocking her. That was just your hands. I was six up. So when you didn't block her. I was just trying. A lot of the time I was trying to got. Not to get Tasha Cara tattooed across my forehead.

[B]

I know. She was incredible.

[A]

She was incredible. But what was incredible about that game, she was that fraking good. And we still lost.

[B]

It was like by like 15.

[A]

Thirteen.

[B]

Was it 15? Yeah. I know.

[A]

We came now. And what was beautiful, it was a silver medal. Obviously nobody likes a silver medal, but there is no. There is no way that that medal wasn't the most impressive athletic thing. I swear to God I've ever watched a group of people accomplish together. Because we were way out of our league. Meaning if you looked at them on paper, Barb wasn't the only tall chick on that team.

[B]

They were all.

[A]

The team was excellent and they were good.

[B]

And the one girl I ended up playing with at Mac, Christine. I ended up playing with Christine at Mac. She was very, very tall and she was a middle at Mac. See, I couldn't be a middle at Mac. I was. I was a left side. Yeah, but. No, but do you remember the semifinal before that game, though, in order to.

[A]

Make it tell the story. This is a great. By the way, this is another great story.

[B]

Oh, my God. We were. What were we losing? I tried.

[A]

We were losing. We were losing.

[B]

So games in that time only went up to 15 as well. So I think what we're trying to.

[A]

Not rally point. So it went to 15 and you had to serv. Get the point. Yeah. Otherwise it was just an off. It was just a side up. Yeah.

[B]

So it took forever for the games. We were losing. I want to say 12, 4 easy for 13. I think it was 13, 5 for the longest time. And we ended up winning at 16, 14.

[A]

I remember Colleen and I were in the back row, and you. I think you were serving a lot of those. Point when we started getting them back, and Colleen and I were in the back row, and it was just like. Because Colleen was like. She swung the ball great, but her pass wasn't necessarily the most perfect pass.

[B]

You had amazing pass.

[A]

But her and I, in that moment, it was like, for the love of the game, it was a perfect game. Colleen and Iris in the back row.

[B]

Boom, boom.

[A]

Anything that came back there, we're like.

[B]

How is this happening? We're like, we're losing.

[A]

And then we did it again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because then the next game, you think we would get smarter, but the next game, we were down quite a bit as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we came and that team was better on paper. Yeah, they were huge, too.

[B]

Yeah. 13 to 4, 13 to 5. I just remember, like, it was crazy.

[A]

I.

[B]

That can only imagine on their side, I can only imagine on their side, all the team and the coaches going, like, what is happening?

[A]

But there it is. Right. That's the beauty of it. And I think that's what that team taught me. I really do. I think there was something. There was something about the way we played together. I don't even remember. I'm sure we did. Like, I'm sure there was back and forth at some point, but I swear to God, still, I can't remember a single negative, like, anything significant of that team. And maybe that's because I'm having. Do you. Can you even remember? Maybe I'm having, like, foggy memory.

[B]

We would always go to Melanie Pringles, too. You and Cheryl were always really good in organizing, like, stuff with Will. We would go to Melanie Pringles and Whitby. It's still there. Still there.

[A]

We went there not long ago. All as adults, really. No, you were there.

[B]

No, I wasn't.

[A]

Yes, you were. When we had the. Yes, you were. Are you okay? Is this perimenopause? You were there. It wasn't even that long ago.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

It was with Will when we met.

[B]

Oh, yeah, sorry. It was like, a long time ago. It was a really long time. You said it was not that long ago. That was like, 10 years ago.

[A]

Okay. But not that long. As in, it wasn't high school.

[B]

No, that was okay.

[A]

We've been out of school for, like, 30 years.

[B]

It was like, 10 years ago. Yeah. No, Melanie Pringles. And then we would. We would get together and then that would kind of be a place as well, too.

[A]

Yeah, the, the idea that, that this team, this, this. I don't know it. And it made me go to school. It made me. Not that I hated school or I was bad at school, but if you didn't go to school, you didn't play. Literally, if you decided I was going to show up that day, you'd be sitting on the bench. Doesn't matter how good you are, Will would not play you. And it was like, it kind of not only empowered you in the sense of, like, you feel really good about doing something, but it made you want to do better at other things because you wanted. I wanted, I'll say this book. I wanted to impress Will. Like, I wanted to make sure he was proud. I wanted to make sure that I did, you know, and he kind of built that in a kind of paternalistic kind of way, I would say. Like, I think he was a father figure in a lot of ways for some of us.

[B]

Well, like, we all, especially after that, even though it was second place, you know, we came back, it was like, what was. And we got him that license.

[A]

Come back 94.

[B]

Come back 94. We, we got him that license plate and he loved it. I wonder if it's still on his car today.

[A]

Still has it. He does. I, I.

[B]

Still on his car today.

[A]

It's on his truck.

[B]

It's on his truck.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

See, because that's special, too, for all of us to get together and want to do that for him as well. Right.

[A]

And I think, Yeah, I think there's something when you're teenagers, especially as women, and I think this is a really important part, is that athletics has a way of tapping into something different. And I know you played when you went to Mac for, you know, when you went to university there, but athletics has a way of tapping into. What do you think it is? Because it, it gives a sense of confidence that nothing else gives. I don't think it's something else. What do you.

[B]

Well, it's a sense of. Yeah, but you can. But I think it's also like, it's even a forum to test yourself in. A forum to, to fail at things, too. Right.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.

[B]

Don't you think? So I coached, I coached my daughter, like, her club team for the longest time, and when she was in high school and then just the last couple years, I didn't. But I was just an assistant coach. But I just found too, it's like. And especially volleyball, and I would bring her To Mac, like, so shout out to Tim Lukes, who just retired, who was my volleyball coach. And he was still there up until, like, two years ago. So I would bring her and whoever from the volleyball team wanted to go. We actually took a full trip there, and we would go just to see Mac play because my coach was still coaching and. But what we would point out with the girls, like, and especially the captain of the team, who he would. Who Tim would choose being the captain of the team, is that she would go up, she'd take a swing, and again, hard. As hard as she could. She messed up. It's like, okay. She didn't hang her head down. She was up. High fives from everybody. The next one, she's like, give it to me again. Come back out. Swing. She gets the kill, right? And then that was such a teachable moment to all of the girls. And I think, especially in volleyball, it's so huge. And then that's what I try to teach the girls as well, too. Like, it's okay to get up, do your best, but then you want that right back to try to do it better the second time. And that was okay that that happened, but the next time you're going to do it better.

[A]

Do you think that's what it is about athletics? That there. There is something about.

[B]

But it's also the teamwork, the camaraderie. Like, I think being part of something with a common goal there is. Is. Is so key, right? Because I don't know what you find. Like, I have a son and a daughter. I find growing up for them, girls very. They could be very catty, right? Like, there's always some drama going on, right. But you get them on the same team, like, as they'll be talking about whatever else or, you know, before they get on the court. But as soon as they're on the court, they have that common goal and they have that camaraderie that they'll never forget, right? And on the floor, it's a totally different. It's a totally different thing to them.

[A]

Do you think? Yeah. Do you think that's counterculture, then? Because I do think that the reason. Maybe this is the reason I'm drawn so much to athletics, especially for young girls, is because our culture, unfortunately, has historically, and still, to some degree currently, it's very divisive for. For girls, it's very. It's very oddly catty and behind your back. And this is my group of people, and this is your group of people. And we. Culturally, it's been very Very. I think it's been supported in that way. Whereas when you're on a team, you learn something else. And it's not to say you can't learn it in different places, but I do think there is something about a team sport that allows young women to step into something that society as a whole isn't teaching us or isn't really excited to teach women. Do you understand what I mean?

[B]

What do you mean, excited to teach women, not excited to teach women?

[A]

I think women, I think in general, when you think about, you know, foundations of patriarchy and sexism and all of those things, I think women have been taught a lot more competition. It's funny you think it's between men, but guys just compete in different ways. But whereas. Oh, yeah, girls compete, you know, with the way they look and who they sit with, like, whose lunch table you sit at. You know what I mean? Like, that's a. That's. It's a social construct, I think, that we put on women. We don't teach them as much to support each other, to. To lift each other, to elevate each other. I think that's why it's so quick for women to condemn. Oh, do you see what she was wearing? Oh, my God. You see who she walked in with? Guys don't do that. We do that. And. And why do we do that? And where do we do that? And how. In a team environment, if you're on the right team with the right coach, because if you have a bad coach, you're, you know, up the creek anyway. But if you have the right coach that encourages and creates that kind of environment where literally I would break my arm, like, if. If me diving for that ball meant I was out for the season because I dislocated my shoulder, I'm doing it. And to build that. That's impressive.

[B]

And, like, we're from, like, different. Different areas and different social circles, too, which is pretty cool, right? Because it's not like, you know, we hung out, a couple of us hu. Outside of volleyball, but not all of us. Yeah, but not all of us all together. Right. We were all in different circles, but it didn't matter when you got on the court. Right? Yeah. And.

[A]

And there was a beauty. A little bit of a beauty in that, too. Right. There was this idea that you didn't. And that was cool, too, because I think in. For a lot of girls, it's like you have your best friend and you have. Where you sit, and if you deviate from that, you know, then there's Drama. Whereas for our team, it was like we were in different grades. We. We like different things. We hung out with different people. And then as soon as you were on that court, that was it.

[B]

You were together.

[A]

You were together. And there. There is something very cool about that. I don't know if will create it. I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Is it something he. Because he had success after success after success. So it's. Obviously, there's something he's bringing to the table.

[B]

So. Do you remember him, though, bringing in the seniors? Like, I think it was a lot of mentorship, to be honest. And I try to do this, too, you know, with teams, bring in people that are experienced and have been through, you know, things that you have not been through yet. So he would bring back, like, Lisa Babington, like, would come and help out. Right. And he would bring back a couple of, like, Joanna Hood, I think came back as well, too. Right. So, like, she would come and she would mentor us. Like, she would just, you know, run drills with us or, you know, do something with us. Right. And it's just having that person to look up to, too. He would be really big on that whole mentorship piece as well, which is, again, why I would bring, you know, my daughter and some teammates to go to Mac and to see, you know, what they could be and have those girls come and talk to them after the game. Right. And then to chat with them about their volleyball experience and ask questions and everything, too. Right.

[A]

I also think he let us, like, we're. We're painting him to be this very. And he was. He was very strict. You got to get the job done. But he also let us be kids. Like, we laughed and we danced and we snuck down to the thing and tried to order. Remember when we tried to order that drink and Erica was like, is there alcohol in that?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And it got taken. You were holding it, and they took it right from in front of you. I forgot it. He never, like, he knew that we would, you know, we never did anything bad, but he let us. He let us have a good time. And then you knew when you had to work. And I think as a teacher, maybe as a parent, definitely as a coach, that balance is magic. If you can figure out a balance with anybody in your life, to be perfectly honest, of how to have a good time, because that's essential. How to form connection and bond and a team formation, and then you snap your fingers and you're pushing that board up and down the thing until you want to vomit.

[B]

I would vomit, like, about half an hour before you would vomit.

[A]

The thing is. Here's the thing. When you start doing the boards, your quads would start to hurt. That'd be the first thing that burned. And then by the time you got.

[B]

To the attack line, my quads were burning.

[A]

The more. The more you would do, your hamstrings would burn, and then your butt would burn. So at some point when you were on your break, like when your partner was doing theirs, you couldn't sit because your ass hurts. You'd have to lie down flat on your stomach, because that's the only way it didn't hurt. Pieces of your body.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You know, and you think about the fact that I have good memory of that is the weirdest I have memory.

[B]

Like, pushing up and down the boards. Yeah.

[A]

But I actually.

[B]

We would miss serves. People would miss serves.

[A]

And then we'd have.

[B]

If we miss a serve, and then we'd have to do more boards. Yeah. I remember screaming at Will, you're just gonna make us do. We're just gonna keep doing boards because we're too tired to serve the ball.

[A]

Nobody can lift up their arm anymore.

[B]

I'm like, this is so counterintuitive. This is so stupid. I used to yell at him, this is so stupid.

[A]

This has nothing to do with volleyball. Again, he never wants nothing to do with volleyball, but it did, you know? And what do you think? Like, it. Okay, so it trained you. It did whatever it was. None. None of that was important. I think the reason why he made us do them is it was to do a hard thing as a team that sucked together. I honestly think that was the reason. I think you did a hard thing as a team. I don't think it helped my jump. I don't think it helped anything else. I think we all collectively had to do it. I also like the fact if you messed up, we all did it. If I messed up, we all did it. Meaning you're a team. You cheer as a team, you celebrate as a team, and you take the freaking hits as a team. And that's, like, such an incredible lesson because it. I watch kids, you know, obviously, I coach and stuff like that, but the quickness to blame other people on that court, that's my failure as a coach. I think, like, that's the number one thing, is to figure out. You go out there, you win as a team, you lose as a team. I don't want to hear anything else. You. You guys can yell at each other. You do it. Behind closed doors where nobody else ever sees you. But when you're together, that's the thing you have to be as a collective.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. And so, yeah, I think. I think that those lessons. Those lessons. I mean, outside, I'm pretty sure my back hurts forever boards and now my shoulder.

[B]

That's why you don't. You shouldn't have been doing them. She just rolled over. Rolled over in the field position on the side.

[A]

How many. She got out of the. She would just lie down. She just lie down flat.

[B]

I'm not gonna do it. I'd be like, this is stupid. I'm not doing this.

[A]

Finally, you'd be like, forget it.

[B]

Everyone's in the change room.

[A]

I remember. I remember when. When we first got pulled up, so we were playing on the same team with, like, Lisa and Joanne, and those players were like, yeah, they were goddesses. Yeah. Truly goddesses. Like, so good. And I sat on the bench, like, so when I. We both got pulled up. You played at the tail end, and then we both got pulled up that year, but you played. And I pretty much sat on the bench right next to Will. Or maybe one down from Will. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Just in case he would throw a chair.

[A]

But come lassa. He would put me into serve. Yeah, right. So come Lassa. But you don't want to mess that up. So you're on the. You got to know you're sitting on the bench, and the only reason he's put you in is to have that hard float, you know? And he. Gord had this awesome thing, too, where he held up the clipboard, right. So only your team could see it. And he'd tell you where to serve. He'd point. It was like Babe Ruth up in here. I'm like, look. And he'd point. He'd say, serve to one or serve to five or whatever. And so you'd look over at him. Now I'm starting to sweat even thinking about it. But you look over at him, he'd give you whatever bat signal, and then you'd have to put the ball where it was going. And I remember thinking, like, the only thing that mattered to me in the world was that. And that's what's also impressive about sports.

[B]

You can focus.

[A]

You don't have time to worry about anything else.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If your head is somewhere else, you get hit in the face with a ball, you can't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I wonder, too, if that's. That's something that athletes get that other people don't get. I mean, maybe other people get it in different ways. Maybe musicians get it. I've never been a musician. Maybe they get it in a different. But I think when you're playing a sport, especially a team sport, right, where it's. Where it's very reactive, you don't. You have to shut off everything else, or I don't even think you choose to. Everything else gets shut off. And there's a simplicity and a calm to that. That when I start thinking about mental health struggles or I start thinking about kids that go through anxiety and stuff like that. I mean, we never talked about anxiety when we were kids. Right.

[B]

But we just, we just shut up. We had it. But we just.

[A]

Of course we. When you talk, when you talk to kids now, I'm astounded. Like when you. We talk as adults and you're like, oh, yeah, this is what was going on with me. I'm like, what?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nobody ever talked about anything bad. No, we just, you know, whether it was the volleyball court or not, but I think there is something about shutting that piece of your brain off. And I don't know, there's a lot of sports where you, you wouldn't like running. You. You're a bit of a runner, right? You like to.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Seems horrible, but. Yeah, but it seems that's a lot of time to think when you're running.

[B]

And then that's. But that's why a lot of people run. You either run or you don't. Like there's no in between. You're either. And yeah, you're either a runner or.

[A]

You'Re not, but you can spend a lot of time in your head.

[B]

But that's why I'll go for a run.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I just need to think. I'm just gonna go for a run.

[A]

And that's amazing. But that's where volleyball. You don't, you don't go play volleyball to think. Think. You don't have time. Right. So it's this very cool shut off mechanism that I think a lot of kids don't have. And I think part of the problem is too, you know, luckily enough we loved volleyball, which was like a staple sport. I think some kids, if they're just not good at it, right? You're not good at basketball, you're not good at volleyball, whatever the.

[B]

But you need sport. But you need something, you need an outlet, right. And I think that's what, like if you want to labelize it, like so now. So back then you didn't know what you needed, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was so good for us to Be able to have that outlet. But now we know that if, you know, kids these days don't have an outlet of anything. Whether it's sports, whether it's art, whether it's public speaking or, you know, like, whatever. Whatever it is.

[A]

How many kids have an outlet of public speaking?

[B]

Sorry, it's not public speaking. So maybe they just do. I don't know, maybe they work on podcasts. Like, I don't know, maybe this is their own media. Maybe this is their outlet. Like media is their outlet. Something you, you need something other than school, for example. Like you need something other than school to focus on and other than your friends, your relationships, I feel. Because you need. So whether it's for yourself or for a team and whatever it is, right? Just have like another focus and something just for yourself.

[A]

How much of your confidence and your self identity do you think came from that? From being good at it and being on that team?

[B]

A lot? For sure. Like just being involved in team sports teach you so much.

[A]

It teaches you with that team for.

[B]

You, but that team for me, that team for you.

[A]

Do you like if, let's say I pulled it away and you didn't have it? What I'm asking is because honestly, I look back at that moment, I look back at that team and you know, everything, every piece that we've talked about that I got from it, and I think, I don't think I would be even 50% as confident or I would have had to struggle a lot more in a lot different ways to be able to have that as it pertains to everything. Like, yeah, that team gave me confidence to not care about, you know, boyfriends. Well, that might have been a different place.

[B]

That might have been a different thing. When we reconnected, I'm like, oh, okay, so who knew? Different.

[A]

Who knew? Who knew? But yeah, I think that.

[B]

But I wouldn't have had the confidence to like even think about playing a varsity sport at university level.

[A]

But do you think it made you go into. Because I know you're very successful in your career. I know you're successful academically. Do you think that it built for me? I feel like it built something that I didn't even know that I needed foundationally. That made me walk into a biology classroom with a bit of a pop collar. Already did the two have nothing to do with each other. But you understand what I mean?

[B]

No, for sure. No. You abs, you get.

[A]

I got.

[B]

I had a lot of confidence for that. And then I think it's even what I talked about before. Is like, you have different groups of people, and you have your people. These are your. This is what you learn, too. You can have your people. It doesn't necessarily have to be the same person. It doesn't have to be one person. Right. But that's what I learned. You can build relationships with people that you would have. No, I like that. You wouldn't pick out of a crowd to be your friend, for example. Right. I would have the confidence to go up and to start a conversation with somebody else. Because maybe I saw them holding a volleyball or, like, I saw them doing something that I thought was interesting or just ask them a question about their life.

[A]

It's so true. When I think of, like, and. And again, like, we've been out of high school since 94, and I could still call easily six people from that team.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like you. Like, I called Sally. I texted you.

[B]

I haven't chatted with her forever. And then.

[A]

And I just text her, I said, I need you to do a podcast. She's like, what? Yeah, can you drive my. Well, we. It's not like we talk every day or anything, but there's a bond that exists there that is insurmountable, and it just comes back like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think that there's a. There's a foundation to that. But I think you're right. You and I. I. In high school, Celie and I wouldn't have hung out in any other social circumstance. You know what I mean? No. Cheryl and Shannon, they were younger. I never would have hung out with them. Colleen was younger still. Like, Lisa was older. I wouldn't have hung. None of those things.

[B]

Didn't matter.

[A]

Would have been in my life.

[B]

We all have that passion for volleyball together, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. So to be honest. Yeah. So if you're like, what you get from that. I also played basketball as well, and we were pretty success. Successful.

[A]

I was horrible as well. I sat on the bench.

[B]

So. So I was a benchwarmer, like, most of the time with basketball, too. I would get in. But we had a really good team. We made it to Austin as well, too. Right.

[A]

So, Mr. Kn.

[B]

Yeah. But again, yeah, Mr.

[A]

He didn't like me much.

[B]

Oh, my God. So. So I was on a successful basketball team, too, where, again, volleyball was more my sport than basketball. Basketball. But I formed relationships with people on that team, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Same kind of thing. Right. Like, some of the people I would have never chatted with, like, if I didn't play basketball with them. And we loved basketball, too. It was the same kind of thing. Right, okay.

[A]

But volleyball was better. So diamond volleyball.

[B]

Well, of course, because, well, I played volleyball university. But. But no, like you just. Again, like, you just have that bond with people just from being on that team of people that you wouldn't even talk to outside of that sport, for example. And that gives you confidence too, right? And it gives you a purpose.

[A]

As I said, that's something that I think that a lot of times you try to boil it down to what does it do? And I honestly think that a lot of the stuff that we go through and a lot of the insecurities or a lot of sometimes mental health crisis, or sometimes feeling lost and insecure. What every human being on this planet needs from friggin as 2 years old up, is a sense of purpose. And if you feel like you have a sense of purpose, no matter what that is, you will feel useful, you will feel engaged, you will feel powerful. And if you feel those things, that translates to everything else. So as soon as you can find that, as soon as you can. And it's not something you, you can say, oh, go do that, and whatever, but if you can get kids to try this, then try this, then try this, go. You'll figure it out. You'll feel that. But you know, this with your kids, if you, if you can see them have a purpose, they stand up taller. Right. They walk into every room more confidently and they're not as easily pushed over by the waves, let's say, of life. That can push people so much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think you're. That's it. That's it. It's about purpose. And I, And I think what's beautiful, and I've always said this about a team sport, is that I still believe that humans, people, you find purpose for the most part together. I don't, I don't think singular per. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think an isolationist viewpoint. I think that we are bound and we are driven and we feel more connected and more powerful when we have purpose together. And so I think that, you know, that's what sport can do.

[B]

That's what sport can do.

[A]

Guys, this has been amazing. I am gonna go get a board.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

We've been talking for 45 minutes and I'm gonna get that.

[B]

There's no way we're gonna be talking.

[A]

I'm gonna give Sally the board and I'm just gonna have her push it up and down.

[B]

No, I'm not gonna do it.

[A]

Just for the end of the podcast.

[B]

No, let's watch Joanna do the board up and down. And you got attack line, baseline, middle line, baseline, other attack line, baseline, other baseline, baseline. Just do it. Do it. For the folks at home. This is how.

[A]

Perimenopause my bad shoulder.

[B]

This is how it's done.

[A]

Okay, I'll do it on a tick tock, guys. Thanks so much for hanging out. Sally Peel, thank you so much for coming and hanging out with me. And for everybody on here. I'll see you next week. And another chapter of the book, same bat time, same bat channel. Have a good night, guys. Dismissed.