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Loyalty to other women is one of the best things about us. It is also, occasionally, the most comfortable place to hide.

In this episode, Leah Pitzenberger admits to something she was genuinely good at — the panels, the women’s events, the rooms full of us lifting each other up — and the slow, uncomfortable realization that she had gotten expert at building a beautiful second table that ran right alongside the real one and never once touched it. She traces the moment she heard herself say the quiet thing out loud to, of all people, a Navy SEAL: that support is not the same as power, and if you actually want to change the game for the next generation, you have to go sit where the game is being played.

This isn’t about abandoning each other. It’s about refusing to mistake the side table for the main room. Pull up a chair to the real one. They are not going to scoot over.

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