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Welcome to Unpacking the Mass with Keith Nestor. On this podcast, we dig into the week's readings for the upcoming Sunday for the Catholic Church so that when you go to Mass, you are ready to hear what God has to say to you through the Scriptures. So grab your Bibles and let's get digging. Hey, friends. Welcome to Unpacking the Mass. This week, we're looking at the readings for the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. And I hope that you had an amazing Christmas. We're still in the Christmas season, and I hope that it's going well for you and that you are feeling blessed. Chances are you probably had some family drama. Anybody have family drama? Raise your hand, leave us a note in the chat, maybe in the comments. Unless your family's gonna be in there later, you don't want to throw them under the bus and have them get mad at you for that. But holidays are a time when families get together, and that's good and challenging at the same time. It can be so. I always think it's interesting. We look at the Holy Family, and sometimes we can be intimidated by the Holy Family, because, let's face it, the Holy Family is pretty amazing. You've got a mother who actually does nothing wrong. You've got a kid who truly does know everything, and yet you've also got a husband and father who are followed perfectly. I just came up with that. I was pretty proud of myself. But it's true. And we can look at the Holy Family sometimes and think, how can I relate to that? Well, the point isn't today to relate to it. The point is to be inspired by it. And that's what we're going to do as we look at our readings today, because we're going to talk about aspects of this family relationship that we need to incorporate into our lives, even in our imperfect selves and our imperfect situations. Let's begin with the word of prayer. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. We thank you, Lord, for this time of year, for the good things about family and the challenging things about family and for this picture of family that we have in the Holy Family, Lord, may it inspire us and challenge us, regardless of our circumstances, into a greater level of holiness. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Okay, are you ready? Our first reading comes from the Book of Sirach, chapter three, verses two through six, and then 12 through 14. And it reads this way, for the Lord honored the Father above the children, and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays, he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother. O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives. Even if he is lacking in understanding, show him forbearance in all your strength. Do not despise him. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and against your sins it will be credited to you. I love that text. It's amazing, especially the part about there's another translation that says, basically like, if your father's losing his mind, then just be patient with him. I appreciate that. All right. Second reading. Colossians, chapter three, verses 12 through 21. St. Paul writes these words, put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness and patience forbearing one another. And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful, let the word of Christ dwell in you richly teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. And then our gospel, my friends, comes from Matthew, chapter two, 1315 and 1923. Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, rise, take the child and his mother and flee to Egypt, and remain there till I tell you. For Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him. And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet. Out of Egypt have I called my son. But when Herod died, behold, an angel of The Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child's life are dead. And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus reigned over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And being warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee. And he went and dwelt in a city called Nazareth, that what was spoken by the prophets might be fulfilled. He shall be called a Nazarene. The world tells us that freedom is doing whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want to do your own will. But the promises of the world leave you distracted and pulled in all kinds of directions. True freedom is to do God's will. Freedom is becoming the men that God created us to be, men of worship, sacrifice, and love. To grow in that freedom, we. We need to make an exodus from the pharaohs and idols that keep us enslaved. That's why I love the Exodus 90 challenge. It's a powerful way for men to push themselves into true freedom. We prioritize silent prayer and practice asceticism with the support of a local brotherhood. And there's been nothing more effective and helpful in my life as a man than to go through Exodus 90. I promise you, it's worth it. So this January, I'm doing the Exodus 90 challenge, and I invite you to join me and tens of thousands of men with from all over the world. So if you want to become the man God made you to be, physically, mentally, and spiritually, check out Exodus 90, take the first step and download the Exodus 90 app today. Then invite a few friends to join your local fraternity. So go to exodus90.comkeith to learn more. That's exodus90.comkeith, join me and tens of thousands of men from all around the world for Exodus 90 starting Monday, January 5th. Is it time for your Exodus? Good stuff. Okay. That first reading basically shows us the divine plan for the family. And what we have to remember is this. These dynamics in the family between the father and the mother and the kids. These are God's idea. 3. Family is God's idea. It's not something that we look at in the world and go, oh, well, God is, you know, kind of like a family or like a father. You know, this idea of the fatherhood of God. Sometimes people will get hung up on that because they've had bad experiences with their earthly fathers. So they'd rather relate to God in a different way. Friends, that's not okay. We don't get to take our personal preferences and, and our issues and overlay them on top of God to redefine him or reimagine him according to what works for us. That's not how it works. Now that doesn't mean that I am insensitive to the issues that sometimes people can have when it comes to their fathers. We have to remember that as fathers, the way we behave toward our children and toward our wives. I'm speaking to the guys now, that could have serious ramifications for their faith. This is why it's so important that we do this correctly, because fatherhood is in essence, who God is. So as fathers, we have to recognize we are mirroring God to our kids. Should make us take that more seriously, isn't it? Fathers need to take it seriously. But the reality is we all have our roles to play, don't we? Wives have their roles and kids have their roles. And I think that this verse from Sirach here helps us to understand what some of that might look like. Because we're all kids, not all of us are fathers, not all of us are mothers, but all of us are children to one degree. And I think this writing in Sirach is geared a little bit towards the kids because something that we all have to deal with. And there are some pretty cool promises attached to this. What I think about when I look at this is how Jesus fulfills this, how Jesus treated Mary and Joseph, and how Jesus must have fulfilled everything that is said here. When you realize what he has done. He's kind. He helped his father in his old days. Now we don't know how long Joseph lived. But whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother. Of course Jesus obeyed his mother. Whoever glorifies his mother is one who lays up treasure. Of course Jesus glorified his mother. And of course, verse 12, my favorite verse in all of the Bible. O Son, help your father in his old age and do not grieve him as long as he lives. Show forbearance, even if he is lacking in understanding and do not despise him. Kindness to a father will not be forgotten. Think about that, my friends. Hey, let's talk about your relationship. Let's talk about what that looks like. What do you do? If you've struggled with this, how can this be played out? What happens? How do you do it? What's the practical application? Friends, that's where the second reading comes in, which is so practical, because it's talking about how we need to behave in the context of our families. And what does it say, friends? It's not that complicated. Sometimes we neglect the simple things of kindness, of lowliness, of forgiveness, of forbearance. These are the things that St. Paul is talking about, my friends. He's saying that when it comes to our family, this is what we've got to do as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, if we're going to belong to God. This is part of our holiness. Holiness isn't just about you in your prayer room or you in the confessional or you not looking at garbage on your computer. That's all great. But holiness also comes down to how you react and treat each other, your family dynamic. And that's why the holy family is so important, because this inspires to show us what they were like. And St. Paul says that, look, if you're going to be like them, if you're going to be holy as God's chosen ones, this is how you have to be. Compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, patience, forbearing one another, forgiving. If someone has a complaint, anybody got any complaints in your family? Anybody in your family make a complaint against another people, another person? If the answer is no, maybe you ought to be the new holy family. Because, let's face it, every family deals with this kind of stuff. But here's what we're supposed to do. Forgive one another because they deserve it. No, it says, forgive one another. As the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Oh, it's challenging, isn't it? And you might say that's a lot of complicated stuff. It's really not. Because it all boils down to this. Love above all, right? Which binds everything together. And this is what will give us peace. We all want peace in our families, don't we? One of the biggest complaints that we have in our families is when it's a place of chaos, when there's drama. And we all know that there's no drama like family drama. There's no pain like family pain, and there's no joy like family joy. How are we acting with each other? Is our family the place where we're the nicest, where we're the kindest? Or is the place where we let our guard completely down and we can be out in the world? We can be at mass, we can be with our friends and our co workers and we put on that happy face, we put on that patience, we put. We put on that level of filter, right? But Then when we get around our family, boom, instantly, it can turn into just being short with one another and snippy with each other. I saw this reel on Instagram the other day, and it was. And I don't know if it's real when I say real. R E E L Like a little short video, but it was a reel of men pointing their, like, cameras at their wives, and their wives didn't know that their husbands were with them. And it says, this is what happens when my wife sees me and, like, shows, like, a woman, like, in a mall, and she's kind of standing there looking around, and then she looks at the camera and she goes, you know. And I had, like, eight of those. And it was sort of a little funny but tragic picture of relationships, how people can be so happy around. Then they see their family members, like, ugh. You know? And then, of course, I saw the one that. Where it was like the opposite, where the wife was just kind of sitting there, and then she saw her husband. She was like, ah, I love that kind of stuff. When we get around our families, we should be instantly filled with joy. Husbands, when you come home and you catch a glimpse of your wife, you should be like, wow, you're amazing. What? Wow, you're beautiful. Instantly. You should go into the mode of kindness and love and compassion, not into the mode of being critical and negative and harsh. And we do that to each other sometimes, don't we? We can be the kindest people to one another. I remember when I was first married, or when we were first married, I struggle with that because I can get impatient really fast. And I remember there would be times when Estelle would say to me, hold on. Pretend I'm somebody else. Like, pretend that I'm one of the people at church that want to come and talk to you, and you have to be nice to them even though you don't want to. I used to hate when she would say that. But the truth is, it was a good reminder at times, because sometimes we can put that compassion on other people. But when we come to our kids or our spouse, it's just like, boom, instant grouch, instant impatience. We got to rebel against that. This needs to be the opposite with our family. We should be the most caring, the most compassionate, the most understanding, and the most kind, because these are the people that the Lord has given to us in these special relationships. Friends, this is powerful. It's important. We shouldn't treat each other in harsh ways. We have to do this, my friends. And this is the practicality of this relationship. I mean, let's face it, the holy family acted the way they were supposed to act. Can you imagine St. Joseph coming home from working in the carpenter shop and the blessed Mother is. Has prepared dinner and he walks in, oh, this again. Or St. Joseph, you know, he wasn't perfect. Maybe he left his socks on the floor by the bed. Can you imagine her going, I can't believe you just did that again. I'm not doing your laundry ever again. If you can't figure out where to put your dirty clothes. You know, imagine Jesus walks in and they look at him and they treat him harshly. Or they ask him how his day was and he goes, fine. You think that stuff happened? No. The holy family treated each other with perfect kindness, perfect humility, perfect love, perfect compassion. That should be our example. We need to do better at this. My friends, we've all had those uncomfortable situations where we've been with a group of people in a family and they've started bickering. Have you ever had that happen? It's very uncomfortable. You get around people. Maybe you go over to somebody's house and they start fighting with each other. There's nothing more uncomfortable than when families bicker, when husbands and wives bicker against each other. And you're just like, no, it's not supposed to be that way. This is how we do it. We need to look at that list and ask ourselves, what do I need to do to be more like that? Why? Because they deserve it? No, because God deserves it. And our families are a picture of God. They honor God. What we do in our families is a direct relation to what our relationship with God is like. So we need to keep that in mind. Now let's talk about what's going on in the gospel. The flight to Egypt. You know, the holy family was on the run. Have you ever wondered why God didn't just protect them? I thought about that. Why did Joseph need to take Mary and Jesus and flee to Egypt? Why didn't God just smite Herod? Why didn't God just allow the Holy family to stay in peace? Why did they have to run away? I mean, Joseph is supposed to be this protector, right? So why doesn't he defend Jesus against Herod and these people who want to kill him? Why does he run away? Is that a sign of cowardice? No, my friends, it's a sign of obedience. Because the principal role of the father and the husband is to protect. And there will be times when you have to stand and fight, but there will be times when you have to withdraw, when you have to flight, when you have to flee from evil, when you've got to avoid the garbage of the world. You see, we have to remember like this, my friends. The world is out to kill us, just like it was out to kill Jesus. Because if he lives in us, the world's going to hate us. And as fathers and husbands, our job is to protect our family from the evil that wants to destroy it. And sometimes that means we're going to stand up, go toe to toe. And sometimes it means we're going to come away and we're going to withdraw. Not because we're afraid of standing tall, not because we are meek and timid, but because we're wise. We don't fight according to the weapons of the world. The that's the message of the gospel. Remember, Jesus ultimately would stand before the rulers who wanted to kill him. And they would. But did Jesus return fire for fire? Not yet. Remember what Jesus told Pilate? You would have no power over me if it had not been given you from above. Herod wants to kill Jesus, so Joseph flees to protect him. Why? Because that's what God told him to do. That's the bottom line. If God would have told Joseph no, you walk up to Pharaoh and you point your finger in his face and you thump him on his chest and you say, let's go, Herod. Let's see what you got. That's what he would have done. But that wasn't what he called him to do. Friends, we have to be led by the spirit in the lives of our family and how we protect them and how we shield them and how we raise them. We can't just react emotionally. We have to be led by the Lord in this. We've got to rely on God's voice, not our own. We can't react to our own emotional leadings. We've got to be obedient to what God has called us to do. My friends, this is the plan. Godly leaders must be first led by God. So if you're leading your family, you better be listening for the voice of God. Imagine if Joseph hadn't been doing that. Imagine if Joseph had been so distracted because he wanted to play golf or he wanted to ride his motorcycle, or he wanted to, you know, play a game, or he wanted to take a nap or whatever he wanted to do that he didn't have time to listen to God. Imagine that. No, my friends, he made his mission about following the Lord and his family. Leadership reflected that. That should inspire us. The Holy family shows us what real family life should look like when things are tough and when the world stands against us. And sometimes we have to say, we're not going to have any part of that, and we withdraw from that. Other times we returned, remember there would be a time when Jesus wouldn't run, when he would stand toe to toe with the rulers and he would submit himself to the cross. But this wasn't the time. This wasn't the time. What's the time for you? What time is it in your family? You know, you might not know the answer to that right now from the standpoint of the ultimate plan, but what you do know is this. It begins with how you treat each other. It begins with how you act, with how you cherish one another. If we don't get that part right in our families, it's real hard to get anything else right. That's why St. Paul talks about qualifications for leaders in the church. He says, look, and this is was back in the day, the leaders of the church oftentimes had families. And he said, look, if an overseer doesn't know how to manage his own family, how is he going to manage the household of God? We've got to start with ourselves and then our families, and then everything else will fall into place. And that's true not just for the dads. It's true for the wives and the moms and the kids. What we see today in these readings is everybody's role. Everybody. Husbands, love your wives. Wives, submit to your husbands. Children, obey your parents. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Do not provoke them. Do not be harsh with your wives and children. When your parents get old, take care of them, please. Don't become impatient with them. See how this all comes back around again, not rooted in their level of deserving because none of us are perfect. Rooted in our faith, covered by grace. Why? Because we're God's chosen people. And what he's done for us and the example that he's shown to us in his family, friends, it gets extended to us. You might say, well, the Holy Family this, but my family this. Well, guess what? You're part of the Holy Family. Did you know that? What? Yeah, think about it. What did Jesus say when they came to him? We all know as Catholics, we get beat up with this verse all the time. When they say, well, you know, Jesus said. They said to him, your mother and your brothers and sisters are here. You know, what did Jesus say? Who are my mother and who are my brothers? And then he looks around, he says, those who do the will of my Father in heaven are my mother and my brothers and my sister. Right? His point was this, not to downgrade his actual biological mother. His point was to broaden the scope of who was in his family. And if you follow Jesus, if you do the will of the Father that includes you, you become grafted in. You become part of God's family. You have the same father, you have the same mother, and we are brothers and sisters in Christ. Do you see the imagery that God has given to us? It's not an imagery of a different family. It's an image of an expanded family. And you and I are part of that. My friends. This is how we behave in the household of God. 1st Timothy 3:15. The pillar and bulwark of the truth. The church is the family of God, friends. We are all part of God's family. So in essence, the holy family is us. It's us. And that's not taking anything away from Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I believe that they'd be nodding their heads right now going, yes, we've did all this so that you could become a part of this family. So how does your family act? How does your family act? When Stella and I'll tell you one more story. When Stella and I were younger, with our kids, we took a parenting class. And one of the things that we learned in that parenting class was when you are raising your children and talking about how they should behave, that it's important to instill a family identity. And when you would catch your kids acting in ways they shouldn't act, you didn't just say to them, don't do that. That's bad. What you needed to say to them was, that's not how we act in this family. Hey, you're part of this family. That's not how we act in this family. Because it goes so far to let them understand that they belong to something and what they belong to is bigger than themselves. There is a code in this family. To belong means that you act a certain way because everybody wants to belong. So when it comes to our faith, we got to understand what we're being told here. This is how we act in this family. So on the feast of the Holy Family, understand this. You're called to be a part of it, and it acts a certain way. So join, step up. Take on the role that God has given you. Treat those in your immediate family that have been entrusted to you with incredible kindness, compassion, forgiveness, love, above all, my friends, and you'll realize that it's pretty special to be part of that family, too. Thanks so much for watching my friends. I look forward to being back here with you. Next week on Unpacking the Mask. Take care and God bless.