unPAUSED with Dr. Mary Claire Haver

Episode: Leaving Her Dream Job for Menopause Advocacy: Tamsen Fadal on HRT & Purpose After 50
Date: December 23, 2025
Guest: Tamsen Fadal, Emmy Award-winning Journalist, Advocate, Author
Host: Dr. Mary Claire Haver

Episode Overview

This episode of unPAUSED dives into the transformative journey of Emmy Award-winning news anchor Tamsen Fadal, who left her high-profile TV job to become a leading advocate for menopause awareness. Dr. Mary Claire Haver and Tamsen unravel deeply personal experiences — from on-air brain fog to making documentaries and writing a New York Times best-selling book. Together, they candidly discuss ageism in media, misinformation around hormone therapy, and how women can reclaim agency and community in midlife.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Tamsen’s Menopause Story: From Live TV to Advocacy

• Unexpected Symptoms on Air
  • Tamsen recounts a pivotal moment in 2019: while anchoring live television, she was overcome by brain fog and an intense hot flash, ultimately having to step off set for the first time in her 30-year career ([05:18-08:34]).
  • Quote:

    “I'd look at the teleprompter... I'd look at words and I'd be like, I know that word, but oh my gosh, I can't think of it. And I would just panic and then skip the word.” (Tamsen, [05:22])

• Misdiagnosis and Emotional Impact
  • Her symptoms, including months-long bleeding and severe anxiety, were repeatedly misattributed to stress, fibroids, or polyps; no one mentioned perimenopause ([07:39-10:31]).
  • She describes feeling “frustrated, moody, and lost,” questioning if her relationship or job was to blame ([08:40-09:38]).

Navigating Diagnosis and Medical Misinformation

• First Hearing ‘Menopause’
  • “I got a note in my patient portal... it said, 'In menopause. Any questions?'” ([09:42])
  • Even after deciding not to have children, the finality and surprise of the diagnosis was emotionally charged.
• Medical Gaslighting and SSRIs
  • Tamsen was prescribed Lexapro for anxiety hot flashes—a common but suboptimal practice due to lack of clinician training in menopause care ([11:03-11:39]).
  • Dr. Haver points out, “You’re five times more likely to be recommended an antidepressant for your hot flashes than the gold standard of hormone therapy” ([11:04]).

The Hormone Therapy Crossroads

• Generational Fear and Family Legacy
  • With her mother’s breast cancer history, Tamsen internalized a fear of estrogen ([13:03-16:26]), reinforced by media messages from the WHI study.
  • Quote:

    “All I knew in the back of my head, yeah, was estrogen's bad. Don't have anything to do with estrogen because your mom had breast cancer, right?” (Tamsen, [15:44])

• Seeking Answers and Finding Confidence
  • After multiple opinions, Tamsen only found clarity with a certified menopause practitioner who explained potential benefits, especially for sleep and confidence at work ([17:17-18:12]).
  • Even then, she describes the fear and guilt with every HRT patch:

    “Every time I put the patch on for a year or two, I was scared. What am I doing? Yeah, of course. I was scared.” ([18:02])

The Role of Journalism and Media Myths

• Undoing Harmful Narratives
  • Tamsen became obsessed with changing the story once she grasped how media had amplified fear around HRT ([20:05-21:34]).
  • Quote:

    “Those headlines and the media did a lot of that disservice. Right. I think in the back of my mind, it was viral before there was viral.” (Tamsen, [20:12])

• Pushing Menopause into Newsrooms
  • Despite anchoring health segments for decades, menopause was never spoken about. Once she forced the issue on-air, she realized viewers craved this validation ([21:34-24:15]).
  • Memorable anecdote:

    “One of the cameramen came running after me and he said, 'I think that my wife is going through some of this. Is there a way I can get ahold of you or somebody so she can talk to them?'” ([24:17])

Making Documentaries: “Shredding the Silence” and Beyond

• Grassroots Beginnings and Pushback
  • Tamsen and her co-producers initially self-funded their documentary after repeated rejections from industry—a testament to the persistent cultural silence and ageism ([28:07-32:19]).
  • When the trailer went viral, the floodgates opened: “To date, we've had over 1,004 screenings in cities across the US and in…45 countries” ([32:19]).
• PBS and First-of-its-Kind Storytelling
  • Landing the film on PBS for World Menopause Day brought credibility; Tamsen describes a “critical message at a critical time” ([32:36-33:23]).
• Facing Criticism, Standing Firm
  • Some detractors challenged the doc’s approach, but Tamsen is adamant the aim was “to open the conversation,” not promote any doctrine ([35:00-36:41]).
  • Quote:

    “Our only intention as journalists is to shed light, and that's what we did.” ([36:41])

Expanding the Lens: “Before the Pause”

• Addressing Perimenopause and Inclusivity
  • The forthcoming documentary, “Before the Pause,” seeks to fill gaps: breast cancer survivors, the perimenopausal timeline, multi-generational ‘hormonal households’ ([36:41-38:10]).
• Millennials and a Culture Shift
  • Dr. Haver and Tamsen agree Gen X “kicked the door in” and Millennials are eager, informed, and unashamed to talk menopause ([38:52-39:50]).

Publishing Best-selling Books

• Pitching “How to Menopause”: Industry Doubt to Bestseller
  • Publishers and even Tamsen’s first agent questioned the market for a menopause guide ([44:46-46:01]).
  • Ultimately, two editors related to her experience and picked up the book, which became a New York Times bestseller ([48:17-49:14]).
• Advocacy and Self-Education
  • Dr. Haver notes,

    “Millennials are like, okay, they [doctors] don’t know… I’ll educate myself.” ([53:32])

  • Both stress women now must ‘interview’ their clinicians and become CEOs of their own health ([53:17-53:58]).

Personal Transformation and Vulnerability

• Leaving a Dream Job for Purpose
  • Tamsen explains the emotional difficulty of walking away from her identity as a New York news anchor ([61:31-64:48]).
  • Quote:

    “My identity was so wrapped up in my job. Like, I was the job, like I was the anchor. That’s all Tamsen was. Like I didn’t know myself outside of that.” ([62:03-62:05])

• Ageism and Media Realities
  • She describes constant anxiety about her “shelf life” and the lack of older women in TV news ([54:43-55:53]).
• Honoring Her Mother’s Legacy
  • Not having a roadmap beyond 51 (her mom’s age at death), every day after feels like a dedication to her mother and women everywhere ([58:28-61:18]).

Building Community and Looking Ahead

• Women Supporting Women
  • Tamsen and Mary Claire stress the unparalleled strength and support in the menopause community ([68:44-69:10]).
• Advice for Women Who Feel Lost
  • 1. Find a provider who takes your symptoms seriously
  • 2. Don’t stop seeking answers; put your health first every day ([69:33-70:42]).
• Living an “unPAUSED” Life
  • Both women embrace travel, spontaneity, purpose, and the freedom that midlife brings ([70:44-71:09]).
  • Quote:

    “I am hopeful that for all the remaining years that I’m here, that it helps, you know, other women that are coming up through this. I do feel a very deep service to her… to do this next part right.” (Tamsen, [61:18])

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Every time I put the patch on for a year or two, I was scared.”
  — Tamsen Fadal ([18:02])
• “If I’m not talking about it, who’s going to?”
  — Tamsen Fadal ([21:42])
• “Our only intention as journalists is to shed light, and that’s what we did.”
  — Tamsen Fadal ([36:41])
• “Millennials are like… ‘I’ll educate myself.’”
  — Dr. Mary Claire Haver ([53:32])
• “My identity was so wrapped up in my job… I didn’t know myself outside of that.”
  — Tamsen Fadal ([62:03])
• “Lighting a candle is not going to… resuscitate your ovaries.”
  — Tamsen Fadal ([70:42])
• “Menopause often feels like… it’s time to hit pause. What are you doing to focus on unpausing?”
  — Dr. Mary Claire Haver ([70:44])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 05:18 – Tamsen’s on-air menopause “eruption”
• 09:42 – First hearing the word “menopause” from her doctor
• 13:03 – Fear of HRT due to mother’s breast cancer
• 20:05 – Media’s role in amplifying HRT fears
• 24:17 – Menopause in the newsroom: audience reaction
• 32:19 – Getting the documentary produced and its impact
• 46:01 – Pitching and writing “How to Menopause”
• 54:43 – On ageism and the realities for women in media
• 61:18 – Honoring her mother, finding purpose after loss
• 69:33 – Advice for women who feel lost in menopause
• 70:44 – How Tamsen is “unpausing” midlife

Tone and Style

• Candid: Both speakers share unfiltered accounts, validating women’s unspoken struggles.
• Empowering: Emphasis on self-advocacy, building community, and breaking generational silence.
• Hopeful: Acknowledges systemic gaps but celebrates positive change and the power of women supporting women.

Further Resources

• Tamsen’s Book: How to Menopause (New York Times Best Seller)
• Documentary: “Shredding the Silence” (PBS), with upcoming “Before the Pause”
• Tamsen Fadal online: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn @tamsenfadal
• Dr. Mary Claire Haver online: Instagram @maryclaire, thepauselife.com

This episode is essential listening for anyone navigating menopause — or who loves someone who is. It’s an inspiring reminder that the second half of life can be a time not just to survive, but to thrive and lead.