← UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
11: Advocate for Yourself, Like Your Life Depends On It ft. Chelsea VonChaz
01:01:55
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- [00:01]
Ryan
All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan.
- [00:09]
Sheila
Partisan.
- [00:10]
Ryan
It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off. So how about a Cosmopolitan or a Mistletoe margarita?
- [00:21]
Sheila
I'm thirsty.
- [00:22]
Ryan
Watch. I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow.
- [00:26]
Sheila
Beginning to feel more seasonal in here already.
- [00:28]
Ryan
If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian, because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.
- [00:40]
Sheila
Tis the season to be jollier.
- [00:44]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Add some holiday flavor to every celebration with the sleek, sophisticated home cocktail maker Bartesian. Get $50 off any cocktail maker@bartisian.com cocktail that's B A R T E S I N.
- [01:00]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [01:26]
Sheila Marie
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- [01:28]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [01:32]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Welcome to Unruly. I'm your host, Sheila Marie. I'm an author, a fierce advocate for Black women, and the founder of the curvy Curly conscious movement. In this space, I'm sharing what I've learned on my own journey while sitting down with some amazing women who are all navigating their own paths to healing. Because there's no better time than now to get a little unruly. Welcome back to another episode of Unruly with your host, me, Sheila Marie. And you know, let's just get right into it. Let's be real. Our society has never prioritized the well being of black women in or outside of medical spaces. From dismissing our pain to questioning our lived experience. It's no secret that the healthcare has often failed us. But here's the thing. Advocating for ourselves isn't just a choice. It's a necessity. And when it comes to menstrual health, we're often left out of the conversation altogether. So that's why we're having our own conversation here with Chelsea Von Chaz. Affectionately known as the period Doula Ding. Chelsea has dedicated her life to rewriting a narrative around menstrual health and empowering us to stand up for our bodies, period. Through her work with HappyPeriod and Menarche, she's creating space for black women where everyone can feel seen, heard, and educated. So in this episode, we're going to explore how to speak up for yourself in medical spaces. I know. I need this information. How to understand your body more and pass this on to the next generation. Okay. Welcome to the stage, Chelsea Von Chaz.
- [03:12]
Sheila Marie
Hey, girl. Hey. How are you?
- [03:15]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I'm good. How are you?
- [03:17]
Sheila Marie
I feel good after that introduction.
- [03:19]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Oh, do you?
- [03:20]
Sheila Marie
Yes.
- [03:21]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Okay, well, I'm glad. You should feel good. You've done a lot of amazing things. I was reviewing everything, and I was like, this woman is incredible. How is she doing?
- [03:28]
Sheila Marie
Thank you. I appreciate that. It's so to start, it's not just me. It's a village. You're like, how am I doing this? It's my mama, it's my grandma, it's my auntie. It's generations of women behind me talking about their periods, talking about their bodies, like, amongst each other. So that's where it all comes from, for sure.
- [03:50]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I love that. So speaking of generations and the information we pass down, I want to see. I want to start out with a little icebreaker. And if you could go back in time, back to your younger self before puberty and all of those things, what would you tell her?
- [04:08]
Sheila Marie
Oh, I would tell her that it's okay. Everybody's scared. Everybody's. Everybody's scared. Like, you know, fear runs a lot of people, and, you know, it's okay to be scared of something, you know, like, folks are human. Like, you know, it's okay. Like, we're all just inner children, you know, you don't have to. I definitely will let her know, like, hey, like, you're safe here. You don't have to feel like you have to grow up too fast. You don't have to feel like you have tied yourself, like, in your scary moments, in your embarrassing moments or angry moments, like, you know, making sure that my inner child, my younger self, just knows, like, hey, you'll always be you. You'll be fine.
- [04:53]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I have two more for you. What is the biggest misconception about our periods?
- [05:00]
Sheila Marie
Ooh. The biggest misconception about our periods, I think, is that they are unnatural and complicated. I think our periods can be complex. I think our bodies are complex. But I think our periods are one of the most, like, natural processes that we go through. I think it's maybe more so unnatural how we're told how to deal with it and how we are forced to manage them. I think that's where it gets. I think that's where the complications kind of get, you know, I think a little bit, like, mixed up all over the place from, like, it being physical complications to mental, like, battles that we have with our bodies, us not tending to our bodies. So I think, like, that misconception that it's not natural, that really tends to mess with us, I think, in the long run. And it actually does hurt us for sure.
- [06:04]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Mm. Okay. And when we talk about periods, it always seems to be kind of a daunting or a heavy topic. Is there anything fun or expected, like a fact that's fun or expected about periods that people, like, are surprised to learn?
- [06:20]
Sheila Marie
Oh, that people are surprised to learn. You know, it's. It's interesting. I think I talk to folks of all different ages about this. So, like, from a third grader to someone who's like, hitting menopause and, you know, it's just because of everyone's background and how the stigma and the shame has hit us in so many different. Like, you just don't know what people know. And sometimes people don't know until you tell them, like, oh, so it's. It's different. Like, I've. I've definitely had older women feel like, you know, or have a. Have a big aha moment when they discover or when I tell them about alternative period products like menstrual cups and menstrual discs and period panties. And they're like, what? I've been wearing pads since I was, you know, so.
- [07:13]
Chelsea Von Chaz
And I love menstrual cups.
- [07:15]
Sheila Marie
Okay, tell me about it. Okay.
- [07:17]
Chelsea Von Chaz
See, I'm never going back.
- [07:20]
Sheila Marie
I love it. I love to hear that when people say, like, you know, I'm never going back. And it's not about, like, the product itself, like, it's the cup. I just love the fact that you. You got into something else and you actually love it. Yeah, that you actually love it and you looking forward to, like, that's how you take care of your period. You know what I mean? Because some people don't like their period and they don't like the product, which. Which is. I think that's that kind of love, hate relationship black women have with pads. Because majority of Black women still wear pads. Not really trying to get into tampons. Don't really like tampons. I think a lot of older black women still think tampons are associated with sex or virginity, so. You know what I mean?
- [08:01]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Oh, yeah. I had one friend growing up who. Whose dad didn't let her wear tampons because he thought it would take her virginity.
- [08:07]
Sheila Marie
Yeah. Yeah. And that's. That's the thing with a lot of. Another fact that I can give you is that tampons do not have an age requirement, which is something that a lot of parents do not like to hear when I'm giving them workshops to their teens. Like, tampons actually don't have an age requirement. It has a body, you know, functionality, anatomy requirement. You are required to have a vagina to use tampon, and you are required, you know, you should be using it to manage your period. So you should be bleeding. It shouldn't be something used, you know, for any other reason besides your period. So. But that has nothing to do with age. So you can be 12, 13, 14 years old, wearing a tampon if you want to, or using one. I think that's something parents just. They don't like to hear it because they're still thinking of, like, sex or something sexual with tampons and then not even really considering, like, you know, there's so many other alternatives either, you know, so, folks, just stick to pads.
- [09:09]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Literally. You went right off the deep end, baby. We gonna talk about it? Oh, no. We here.
- [09:14]
Sheila Marie
Let's dive in. We here.
- [09:16]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Okay. So while we're here, let's get into menstrual cycle. Let's do it.
- [09:19]
Sheila Marie
Yeah.
- [09:20]
Chelsea Von Chaz
So your journey's very interesting. You came from being a wardrobe stylist to a menstrual health advocate. How did that happen?
- [09:31]
Sheila Marie
It wasn't too hard because, Lon, I can't stand Hollywood. Amen. Like, it wasn't too hard, really?
- [09:36]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Hey, sister. Hey, hey, hey, hey. People say all the time, I have a. I have a. I'm professionally trained in acting. But I just, at a certain point was like, I do not desire to be the type of person I need to be, to exist in this industry in that space.
- [09:51]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, yeah.
- [09:52]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Period.
- [09:53]
Sheila Marie
Yeah. And I think now, like, and as you get older, you. You learn more about, like, who you are, and you find your community. So it's like. And I'm sure you feel that way. Like, you can now navigate it differently because you understand, like, other people who feel the same way that you do. And, you know, it's you know, it's not real, and a lot of people think it's real. So. So for me, yeah, like, working, doing wardrobe styling, you know, and just kind of like getting into a space where I was just like, I want to do more than this. You know, I do want to live many lives in any way. Like, you know, I don't know if you've ever. Most people have never seen what have. Have actually seen Forrest Gump. Like, it's rare to just talk to somebody that's never seen Forrest Gump. So I don't know if you've never seen that movie.
- [10:37]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Oh, I love, I love.
- [10:39]
Sheila Marie
Okay, so I like the example with Forrest Gump. Like, his character, he actually lived many lives. He was a football star. He was a Vietnam hero. This motherfucker played ping pong. Worldwide athlete, came back home, cut grass for the university, was an investor at Apple. He lived many lives. So that's my jam. And to be honest, ever since I was little, that was, for me, the message of the movie. Everybody talks about everything else. They're so hung up on the accent. I'm like, no, that's the message. Like, you can live many lives in your life. So for me, like, I did, I did get to that point during wardrobe where I was like, yeah, it's time for a shift. And Legit was driving from one gig to the next. I was in between gigs. My last major gig in Hollywood, that was very short. It was a very short stunt because it was a time where I was really spiritually feeling like, yeah, it's coming. I don't know what it is, but it's coming. So I was only taking gigs that were referred to me. So my homegirl, Ayanna James, was wardrobe stylist for Insecure at the time. So that was the last gig that I did. And I want to say Issa. Issa Rae had just got, like, her first Globe nomination for Insecure. So that was my last, like, year.
- [12:00]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Wow.
- [12:01]
Sheila Marie
And so on the way, no big deal. No big deal, child.
- [12:04]
Chelsea Von Chaz
No big deal. You know, just a little something something.
- [12:07]
Sheila Marie
Working with the sisters, which very proud to say, like, I did get a chance to work with some amazing other amazing black women in the space, which I did enjoy. Like, that was the highlight. But, yeah, like, driving from one gig to the next and in Hollywood, saw this homeless woman cross the street in front of me, in front of my car with the period stand on the back of her butt. And it really just made me mad. Like, the thought that I was what I was thinking at the time, you know, just kind of looking around and observing, you know, being in Hollywood, being in this space where folks just ignore people who are houseless, folks who are on the street, don't care if it's a woman, don't care if, you know, the person is hungry, if they're nude, if, you know, just whatever. Folks are just so used to ignoring it. So, yeah, it just kind of really had me thinking at that red light, because I was on my period that day. Like, I remember, like, it was yesterday. And I was like, man, like, if you are on your period in your houses, where do you go? Like, what do you do? So that was the first planted seed in my brain from that question, just from that anger, just from that observation. And it made me want to do something. So that was how it all started, like, from the beginning, you know, me talking to my mother about it, My friends in the industry, folks just like, okay, well, what are we going to. What do you want to do? And I'm like, I want to do something, but I don't want to give the shelters any money. You know, Like, I want to do something different because I just think something different should be had something a little bit more hands on. And so that's when one of my really good girlfriends, who's also, like, in the entertainment industry, I want to say she worked at Def Jam at the time, and she was also working with another organization called Hashtag Life. And we decided to all, like, yeah, yeah, we decided to all, like, come together for their event. And she was like, just, you know, just have your homies come pull up and y'all do something. I was like, yeah, I think I want to have us collect some pads and tampons and go to skid row and pass them out. And she was like, bet, okay. Like, you know, just thinking about it and here and people hearing about it, like, oh, okay. But that's what we did. We did the first one, and it was amazing. And then we just did them every single. We would do them once a month, just like our periods in la, pulling up with Lunch Bag and other organizations. And that was the beginning of the movement. And it didn't really click for me to turn it into a charity until after, like, my dad came to one volunteer event, and he used to, like, pull up with us, too, just to make sure, you know, the ladies is straight. Because we walking around child skid row just looking cute. He like, let me just make sure y'all today.
- [14:58]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Come on. Dad being an ally.
- [14:59]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, like, for sure, right and accomplice too, because he was ready. But he observed something. I witnessed, like a moment for him too, when this lady ran out of Union Rescue Mission, which is a shelter that we always would give to where they have men and women. And one of the ladies ran out and she was like, I didn't get me a happy period bag. Hold up. I've been waiting for y'all. And my dad was like, oh, my God, this is so needed. Like, wow. Like, it's so crazy.
- [15:37]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Look at my daughter go. Yeah.
- [15:39]
Sheila Marie
So that was. That was pretty cool. And the girlfriends was like, okay, so we gon. We gonna keep doing this. Like, what are we doing? So, yeah, we just was like, all right, let's turn it into 501C3. Let's just do the paperwork and do what we gotta do. And. Yeah. And that was the beginning.
- [15:55]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Wow. Shout out to you for starting a 501C3. I have been trying for years. It is not easy.
- [16:01]
Sheila Marie
Oh, my goodness. What's tribe. What's wrong?
- [16:05]
Chelsea Von Chaz
We could talk offline. It's a lot.
- [16:08]
Sheila Marie
It's a heavy lift. But I'm so about helping folks start charities. Cause I think a lot of people are you. Yes.
- [16:16]
Chelsea Von Chaz
My dream is literally to start a charity that can fund black women to do fun things.
- [16:22]
Sheila Marie
That's it. Okay.
- [16:23]
Chelsea Von Chaz
And it's very hard to get funding. Cause it's not. Yours is like a necessity.
- [16:27]
Sheila Marie
You need that.
- [16:28]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Mine is like, I want black women to be black people. Women who don't have access to capital to be able to experience joy or just come into communities. And do I think joy. That's my motto. Like, I feel like that's such a left out thing. Like, we think poor people don't deserve it because they only should get the basics and the necessities and that's it. And I think they're still human.
- [16:50]
Sheila Marie
Listen, Joy falls under mental health. Got you. That's easy.
- [16:55]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Okay. Period.
- [16:55]
Sheila Marie
Period.
- [16:56]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Yeah. I love. I love. I'm taking your attitude with me because I love it because I do it.
- [17:00]
Sheila Marie
I just feel like.
- [17:01]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I hate when I hear a woman could not forward my retreat or they couldn't come to an event. And it's just such a. It's such a burden on me. I think about it at night when I go to sleep. Like, I just hate that money is a deterrent. And especially where we are right now.
- [17:14]
Sheila Marie
Oh, my God. And that's it. Like, that's how I felt when. Even when I've filed the paperwork. Because it is like a wait process, you know, it does take time and money and, you know, energy. But I couldn't go to bed at night. Like I used to wake up, like, ready to figure out what's the next thing.
- [17:33]
Chelsea Von Chaz
It's like hopping on my back.
- [17:34]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, yeah. So it's like you gotta like add other pieces to the puzzle, like build up your social media, build up your community, build up your volunteer list. There's something to do, you know, outside of like when you do your actual activity, you know, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, good point. I feel you. I understand 100%. Okay, I got you.
- [17:54]
Ryan
All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan Partisan. It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off. So how about a Cosmopolitan or a mistletoe margarita?
- [18:15]
Sheila
I'm thirsty.
- [18:15]
Sheila Marie
Watch.
- [18:16]
Ryan
I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.
- [18:20]
Sheila
Feel more seasonal in here already.
- [18:22]
Ryan
If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian, because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.
- [18:34]
Sheila
Tis the season to be jollier.
- [18:38]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Add some holiday flavor to every celebration with the sleek, sophisticated home cocktail maker Partisan. Get $50 off any cocktail maker at bartisian.com cocktail that's B A R T E S I A N dot com.
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- [19:25]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Thank you. So back to menstrual health. Why do you feel like periods is such a taboo topic in our society? I mean, when it comes to sex education, I have a teenager in my house right now and when it comes to sex education, I don't even know what they do now. I remember when I was in school, like they show you a few pictures of Mushroom dick. And then. And tell you, never do it. Never do it. You don't have sex because you'll have a baby. And then we barely get taught about our period. I feel like I don't know about you, but I was kind of clueless when I got my period. I was like, okay, so how's this supposed to go? I don't even know. So why do you feel like menstrual health is such a taboo topic in our society and in our education system?
- [20:07]
Sheila Marie
Ooh, it's. It's so layered. Okay, so I'm a, like, break it down to you this way. I mean, overall, like, with the female body, the female body overall, like, is treated as such, like, this mystery, complex, unnatural thing that needs to be tamed. And I think because of culturally, like, with so many different. So many different aspects, like, within cultures and religion, we are just, like, really embedded to it' well, it's embedded for us to just, like, be in shame with that. You know what I mean? So especially, like, when it comes to religion, and I don't pinpoint it to just Christianity. Like, you know, it's also. It's in other religions, it's in other cultures. It's a global. It's a global issue, to be honest with you.
- [20:56]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Pretty much all Abrahamic religions have this patriarchal mindset.
- [21:00]
Sheila Marie
Absolutely. Like, the female body, the body is unclean. If she's menstruating, she's bleeding, she's unclean.
- [21:06]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Oh, come on, please. The freaking Garden of Eden. And it was all her fault. Cause she did the. And then I've even heard some people say that that's why we have periods.
- [21:15]
Sheila Marie
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
- [21:16]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I've heard people argue that we have periods as a punishment for Eve eating the apple in the Garden of Eden.
- [21:23]
Sheila Marie
Yes.
- [21:23]
Chelsea Von Chaz
How's that?
- [21:24]
Sheila Marie
Absolutely.
- [21:24]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Yeah.
- [21:25]
Sheila Marie
And I think all of that just is super misogynistic. It just adds to more of, you know, for their reasoning that we should be treated a certain. A certain way. It adds to more reasoning why, like, we shouldn't talk about it, why we should. We should hide it. And people don't. People don't want to see it. And all of that just add. Adds more to, you know, our pain, to be honest with you. You know, like, that's why we're not talking to our doctors about, like, when we have pain. We are not, like, standing up for ourselves when it comes to certain, like, aspects as far as, like, how to manage our periods. We don't have free pads and tampons in public spaces. Commercials for period care brands don't share blood. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's. It's crazy. Should be free. It should be absolutely be free. Listen, hand sanitizer got a full makeover during COVID Do you understand what I'm saying? Hand sanitizer was everywhere, and it actually worked to actually sanitize your hands. It was, you know, in addition to soap and water and toilet paper, which is always, you know, which has been free, you know, because of socialism, has been free in public restrooms, but pads and tampons, you know, are not. And that's because the folks that are making these decisions do not understand the female body, and therefore they do not care. And it's too many of us who actually have the female body that don't know how worthy it is. And we don't understand, like, the fact that we deserve these products for free. You know, it's. It's. It's definitely a little bit too much of that, for sure.
- [22:53]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Yeah, absolutely. And what. What do you feel like maybe are the biggest misconceptions that people have about their menstrual cycle?
- [23:02]
Sheila Marie
Yeah. I think a lot of folks really believe, like, when they're in pain, that their pain is normal, that they're supposed to be in pain. Like, people really believe, like, periods are just supposed to hurt. And that's not true. And I think it's also really telling how folks just kind of automatically, you know, and this could be something that happens, like when you are. When you're a child getting your first period, you know, and you become an adult, and then you just realize, like, wow, I actually hide my period. Like, you know, so you have teenagers up until grown women's. This secret thing.
- [23:43]
Chelsea Von Chaz
You go into your bat cave.
- [23:45]
Ryan
Right.
- [23:46]
Chelsea Von Chaz
You wrap everything up.
- [23:47]
Sheila Marie
Yeah.
- [23:48]
Chelsea Von Chaz
You know, and I was even thinking about the other day, the difference between boys and girls. I'm sorry to interrupt you.
- [23:52]
Sheila Marie
No, you're fine.
- [23:53]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I will go back in. But boys and girls in school, can you imagine? Of course you can imagine, because we've been through this, but sometimes I think about what we had to go through. If you're in seventh grade or eighth grade, you have to do and perform at the same level as boys in school and in sports and everything. You are expected to perform at the same level with a whole extra menstrual cycle on top.
- [24:16]
Sheila Marie
Absolutely.
- [24:17]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Like, you can be in pain, cramping, embarrassed, worried about a smell, worried about a leak. Did you have this? You're tired, your emotions are over the place. And I'm like, I just thought about that the other day, and because my husband and I were talking and I was like, that's pretty insane that there's no concessions for us. We just have to go through it exactly the same.
- [24:39]
Sheila Marie
Absolutely. And to add to that, people really believe that all of us have the same period. So there's no type of thought to someone who has fibroids, someone who has pcos, someone who has endometriosis, and how, like, all those different types of disorders can affect you, everybody, differently. You know what I mean? So not everybody's gonna be able to get out of their bed. Some people don't go outside, don't even leave their house.
- [25:08]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I literally was missing school every month, and everybody thought I was overreacting until 30 years later when I got diagnosed with endometriosis.
- [25:16]
Sheila Marie
And that's really hard because a lot of younger, younger girls like that. I'm finding through a lot of my research and experiences too, like, endometriosis is being diagnosed, like, younger and younger. And I think it's important to have diagnosis. But it's on top of that, it's like we're really. We're still not helping the folks manage these things. You know what I mean? Like, especially with you being so young.
- [25:38]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I have a diagnosis, but what now?
- [25:39]
Sheila Marie
Right. How do I do it?
- [25:41]
Chelsea Von Chaz
The only solution they're gonna give me is. Drum roll. Priest.
- [25:45]
Sheila Marie
Birth control.
- [25:46]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Birth control. Which got me where I am right now. Like, what do you mean? So, anyway, that's another thing. But I wanna revisit what you said about periods, that people expect periods to have pain. What do you mean by that?
- [25:59]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, I think from folks having really similar. Well, a lot of us having similar experiences when we're going to the doctor and it's due. You know, we have period pains. You know, we having, like, really extreme cramping. And our, you know, our concerns are dismissed. And I think a lot of us also deal with that dismissal before we even get to the doctor. When we're at school and the nurse dismisses us, you know, we just go home, just take a Midol, just take some Advil. Or even, like, in our own houses, you know, there's some aunts, Aunties and mothers that dismiss younger girls when they have their periods. Oh, I dealt through that. Like, you'll be all right. Like, you know, and normalizing our pain. So that's what I'm talking about. And when we get that official dismissal from a doctor, then it's really embedded in us. And we really believe, like, oh, this is. This is the normalcy the pain part, because clearly, like, all of us have pain. All of us, you know, have periods at one point in lives, and this is what we just have to deal with. And it's so harmful for us in the long run. And again, it goes back to. Even with folks with these different disorders, it makes it harder for you to figure out what's really going on with their body. If you're just like, crossing it off to like, oh, it's just period pains, you know, like, it's hard to figure out, is it fibroids, is it this?
- [27:30]
Chelsea Von Chaz
That you don't invest?
- [27:31]
Sheila Marie
Yeah. Because now you're not necessarily investing it, investigating it. You're looking at it like it's normalcy. So, yeah, I think a lot of folks just really believe from these experiences and just from not being heard and society on top of that, just not making it easy for you to, you know, just simply bleed in peace. No, for real, like, so you're just gonna automatically think, like, with everybody, like, all right, well, this must be what it is.
- [27:57]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Yeah, yeah. Normalizing black women's pain.
- [28:02]
Sheila Marie
Hmm.
- [28:02]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Where have I heard that before? Right, okay, yeah. In every aspect of society.
- [28:08]
Sheila Marie
So, yeah, for sure.
- [28:09]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I know that you said menstrual cycles are very individual to the woman, to the body, but are there, like, basics? What are the basics? Like, if I'm. If I'm 6 years old and I'm asking you, what's a menstrual cycle? What will you tell me?
- [28:23]
Sheila Marie
Well, and I also want to add to, like, another misconception of the menstrual cycle, is that there's only one phase or that the menstrual cycle is your period, the menstrual cycle. Right.
- [28:34]
Chelsea Von Chaz
That it's a part of a whole.
- [28:35]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, yeah, I was gonna.
- [28:36]
Chelsea Von Chaz
The ovulation.
- [28:37]
Sheila Marie
Absolutely. Yeah. Like, it's four. It's four stages or four phases. So you have fallocular.
- [28:43]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Not me. Not learning that till I'm in my 30s, girl.
- [28:45]
Sheila Marie
But we're here now. Come on now. It's okay.
- [28:48]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Yeah, we're here, we're here, we're here.
- [28:49]
Sheila Marie
It's okay. Like, we're getting it together now. In our 30s now we have like our 8, 9, 10 year olds who are just going to be equipped, like, they're going to know this. You know what I'm saying? So. But yeah, like, talking to, talking to kids is, you know, it's just slightly different, but I like to just break it down to them. Like I'm talking to anybody. Like, yeah, your menstrual Cycle is not just your menstrual phase or when you're bleeding. It's not just your period. Like, there's four phases or four stages to it. And think of it like the different moon cycles, right? So you have your follicular phase, your luteal phase, menstrual phase, and ovulation. When I am talking to kids, though, I like to add, like, seasons in there so they can kind of understand like. Or to, like, match it with something or like, a feeling. So, like, menstruation. Think of that as winter time, where you want to be like, oh, you know, it's a little cold and your body's shivering, but you want to be all, like, inside and warm and have some nice tea and do anything that helps you feel better. You know, lay down and relax, right? And then you're. And then you move into. And then you move into your follicular phase. Think of that as like, okay, springtime, we here, we getting back into our groove. Like, you know, the sun is shining a little bit brighter out. We have a lot of. A little bit more energy. We have a lot more in our mind. You know, we kind of want to get a new pep in our step. You know, the flowers are coming out and they're changing colors. Amen. And then, ooh, baby, we going to get into the summertime. That is ovulation. That's when it's time to play. That is when it's time to just do whatever you want to do. Put those plans to action, go outside and just be yourself, have fun, okay? And then when that is over, we're going to jump into that luteal phase. That is your fall time, honey. That's when it's like, all right, energy is a little bit dead. A little. It's coming back down. But we. We still got a little groove with it. Now it's time to prepare for the next season, the next year. It's time to, you know, maybe even, like, get into a groove of more. More. More simple. Exercising more. A little bit like yoga, you know, like. Or maybe even try and trying something new to prepare for that winter. Whatever you got to do to prepare for winter, that's what you got to do during that luteal phase. So we're going to eat a little bit better. We're going to maybe eat a little bit lighter, a little bit smarter with certain meals, a lot more water, because we're going to prepare for winter time. So that's.
- [31:26]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I love that analogy.
- [31:28]
Sheila Marie
Thank you. Excuse me.
- [31:30]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I'm going to borrow that. Thank you.
- [31:31]
Sheila Marie
Please do. And I think.
- [31:34]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Cause I have some young girls in my life who I think that's a great way to explain it.
- [31:37]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, it's a really good way to explain it. And then it also kind of feeds into, like, them understanding that there's just. There are different phases and there's different things that they could do to prep their body for that phase, you know, to feed their body at certain things.
- [31:51]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Because if you're prepared, then you don't feel blindsided. You can get ready for it, which. Which is, I think, a part of undoing some of the trauma that maybe our mothers and our mothers. Mothers.
- [32:00]
Sheila Marie
Oh, absolutely, absolutely. Because it helps you feel more one with your body. It helps you feel more one. Like with nature. It doesn't help you, you know, it doesn't feel so foreign anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think it's just really cool to just think of it like, you know, it's more about. It's more natural to be more in sync with Earth anyway. So that's why I always like to remind folks, like, yeah, like, you're syncing with the moon. Your body is. Your period, specifically, is a vital sign. So really treat it like that. Like, use it as a tool. Like it's telling you so much about your body, especially during that menstruation phase. Because your body is, you know, reacting to what you ate. The last phase is reacting to things that you held in. In the last, you know, few phases, whether you held in some things vocally, you know, certain expressions that you just didn't get out of your body. You're holding all of that in your womb. Like it's gonna tell you, like, what' going on through pouring out. That's why you're shedding. You know, the shedding can change. Your mood's gonna change. Like it's more than just the hormones. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's science. But listen, you're one, like, you're it sis. And your period is telling you, period. That's why folks are scared of you, because you're actually very powerful. And that's why they don't want us to know these things. So, yeah, super important to tell the kids for sure.
- [33:23]
Chelsea Von Chaz
So, you know, we the aunties now. I don't know about you, but I'm an auntie now.
- [33:28]
Sheila Marie
Oh, yeah? Yes. I love that. I don't know why people don't like that.
- [33:30]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I love being an auntie. I don't know. Some people get, you know, so I just want to respect. But I'm proud, Auntie.
- [33:35]
Sheila Marie
Me too.
- [33:37]
Chelsea Von Chaz
What's up?
- [33:37]
Sheila Marie
Nice.
- [33:38]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Where y'all at? So, you know, how can us, you know, the mothers, the aunties, the mentors, how can we start conversations about menstrual health with the young women in our lives? Cause I know me, sometimes it's awkward. Like, you bring it up and they're like, I know, I know, I know. I don't want to hear that. I don't like, like, how can we, like, introduce it so it's not so taboo? And they know that they can talk to us. And how do we help them?
- [34:02]
Sheila Marie
I think what helps the most is you coming to their level or bringing them up to yours. So there's some type of, like, meeting of the minds meeting in the middle. So right out the gate, let them know, like, okay, so I'm on my period right now. What you wanna know? I have periods too. What do you want to know? Do you have any questions? Okay, so if they don't have any questions, because most time they'll be like, no, no, no. Okay, well, let me tell you about when I first got my period. When I first got my period. Just go in. Just go in. Share your experience. I think, actually.
- [34:36]
Chelsea Von Chaz
But if I share. What if we scare them? I don't want to scare them.
- [34:39]
Sheila Marie
But that's the. That's the thing, I think the scary. The scariness comes from just not knowing or just they're not being understanding because they're. Because more than likely, even if they haven't had that period talk, they've seen some type of reference or observed something that alludes to, like, menstruation, whether they've seen something on TV, on TikTok, or where they've actually watched you and you weren't feeling good and they were wondering why you weren't feeling good again, you know, or if it was just like, you know, something going on with themselves and, you know, they're Googling things already. They're looking up things on TikTok already. Like, it's already. Already some. Something that's already gone down. So there's already something planted in their mind that. So it's going to prompt a question. You know, it could prompt even confusion. And then it could just be like, like, okay, full stop, totally fine. But I think, like, when you're actually explaining or expressing your experience and explaining, like, what you went through and things that you didn't know, it could help prompt like, like, aha moments, you know, and then help it. So it's you know, obviously this a little bit easier for them to talk to. And then of course, like, I think kids just naturally just gravitate towards folks who they're most comfortable with. And sometimes that that's not their parents. Sometimes it is a stranger there. Sometimes it's, you know, their teacher at school versus their parent at home, you know, or their PE teacher or the nurse. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. And sometimes it's an influencer on TikTok. And that's just like the way that it is, I think, you know, which is why I feel like it's so important for moms especially to just, like, have these conversations and like, dig into your inner child and actually, like, talk to them as if you're talking to you. When you were 10, when you got your first period, like, what did you wish that somebody told you upfront? You know, what did you wish, like, that experience was, you know, for you? What do you wish that was, like, you know, and just go from there?
- [36:43]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Okay, I love that. Now to bring it up to older women or any woman who's wanting to track their cycle. So I had. I'm in the wellness space. A lot of my friends are holistic women. And I am surrounded by women who have been telling me for years, sheila, track your cycle. You don't need birth control. And I was like, girl, what? All y'all got kids? Like, I'm not trying to have kids right now. So this was before I was trying. And I remember being like, I'm not tracking that just seems. I don't even know. And I was just on an IUD for. I was on Miranda and I. Because of that, my cycle was almost manufactured. Like, it masked. It's like a pseudo cycle, right? Masking all of these symptoms. And trust me, if I could go back, I would not have done. I would definitely advise to track your cycle earlier and in lieu of birth control. But that's just me. I'm not a doctor, y'all. But they were right. Yeah, they were right. I had to come back on the back end and go back to all my friends and say, you know what? I was being hard headed at the time. And you guys were absolutely right. Because now, because I'm in the stages, I've been. My husband and I have been like trying for maybe almost three years now. And so I've learned to track my cycle and now I know myself so much better. But I didn't even. I feel that I just have arrived at this spot now with that said. I am using a period tracker app right now. However, I know that there's a lot of discourse about not doing that because of the laws that we're foreseeing for the future and how women can be criminalized if they find out you're pregnant and you have that data in your phone. So what is your advice or guidance for women who are wanting to track their cycle?
- [38:32]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, it's super important to track your cycle. Tracking your cycle will help you learn your body and body literacy is really what it's about. If there's anybody out there that's never heard that before, body literacy, literally knowing your body from top to bottom and understanding your body, listening to your body more than just knowing how it works, obviously, but how your particular body, how it speaks to you, what happens. And understanding and learning like what you need and your period is a huge component to having that, having that gift, having that understanding. Tracking your cycle, though, it's a lot more than just your period. It's a lot more than just understanding or knowing when your period's coming.
- [39:22]
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- [39:43]
Sheila
I'm thirsty.
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Ryan
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Sheila
Feel more seasonal in here already.
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Sheila
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- [40:54]
Sheila Marie
And I think, like, that's the part everybody gets kind of, like, too hung up on just tracking, like, when it's coming instead of tracking. Also, like, the color of your flow, the color of your blood, Is it red? Is it dark red? Is it giving cranberry? Is it too yellow? Is it a little pink? Is it a little orange? Because those are definitely different signals to something, whether it can be an infection bv.
- [41:18]
Chelsea Von Chaz
How do we know what color it should be at what time? Or is there a reference for that?
- [41:22]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, well, let me show. Let me of, like, break it all down. So when you're tracking your period, you just want to track all aspects of it. So looking at your flow, looking at your blood, the colors, also the density or the texture. If you're clotting, if you have a lot of, like, blood clots, are the clots. Like, how frequently are you clotting? You know, are these heavy clots? Are these clots that feel like you're passing like a little jellyfish? Is it a clot that you barely, like, even feel? You know, is your flow a little bit more runny? You also want to track, like, how much blood are you using? Are you losing. How many days is your period? Are we going past seven, eight days? Everything that I just said is really important to understand because it can help you figure out, like, if there's something else going on. Especially, like, for folks who have concerns about fibroids, especially folks who have concerns about having, like, certain infections beyond, like, yeast infections, like bv, things like that. And also, like, symptoms. Symptoms. Next major key, mood swings, headaches, cramping. How intense are the cramping? Are the cramps? You know, rate them from 0 to 10. Does it come in RA waves? Does it just hit you? And it's just like, there, like, you know, something's just like you're under a rock, and it's just, like, in one area just hitting on you. Are the cramps or aches traveling up your back, back up, you know, up your spine? Are you having any type of episodes where, you know, foggy brain, you know, is the fatigue just, like, so debilitating to where you just really don't want to get out of bed? Really just, you know, feel like you're going into some type of depression? Is this something that you feel before your period comes? Like, are you feeling kind of low and depressed before that? Maybe more so like, in that. In that Luteal phase, where it's like, okay, energy is going down, but it's going to come completely down. And I just feel like, you know, I'm low key sad all the time, you know, so that can also be super helpful if you suspect, like, maybe you have premenstrual disorder or PMD or PMDD or even pme, which is more like premenstrual exacerbation. I want to say that's what they. What they call it now, which pretty much is when your menstrual cycle also triggers an anxiety disorder or for folks who already have like general. An folks who may already have like, some type of like seasonal depression or. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. I'm kind of diving more into that too. Like, with some of my clients, like, with me being a doula, like, I talk to people all the time just like, about certain issues that they have. And I'm finding, like, more and more black women, we have general anxiety and it tends to kind of like get triggered or heightened right before our periods. And so when our period comes, we have, you know, folks have no energy to do anything whatsoever. And it kind of. It kind of fucks with their mental health in a different way than someone who may not necessarily have like, anxiety disorder or may not have any issues with sadness or depression. And it's. And it's usually something that folks do not talk about whatsoever. And it's. I think it's really also kind of hard for folks to pinpoint it, especially like with doctors within our community, because black women are so expected to just deal with stuff and take care of everybody else. And, you know, you're literally already forecasting.
- [45:07]
Chelsea Von Chaz
That is exactly. I wanted to ask you. I really want to talk about medical advocacy.
- [45:11]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, yeah.
- [45:12]
Chelsea Von Chaz
But before we do that, I just want to. Before we move on, I just want to, like, give you your flowers really quickly, you guys. She is the founder and executive director of HappyPeriod, period, the first black operated nonprofit organization focused on menstrual health advocacy and access. She has donated over $3.5 million worth of menstrual care products to underserved communities. That deserves flowers. Yeah, like, that's. Honestly, when I read that, I was like, how I thought about my inability to do my nonprofit yet. And I was like, how is she doing this? Oh, my God.
- [45:57]
Sheila Marie
People.
- [45:57]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Amazing.
- [45:58]
Sheila Marie
People. People shout out to the people. People shout out to the people, shout out to the brands that donated, because that value number comes from, like, the brands that donate all their product. And I believe in Donating product that's like the best, highest quality. Like, I'm very much like organic tampons, organic pads. Pads. And safe, disposable and reusable menstrual cups, discs, period panties, like, all everything. And yeah. And of course, like, everybody has ever volunteered with me. Everybody that's, ever, like, worked with us through our education program now. Facilitators, educators, like, no, it's people. Like, I literally just talk about periods. And it's just this has been my thing since I was 10, because I never really had this space where I could not talk about my period to. You know what I mean? So this is really how I envision, like, it is for other people, you know, who don't have that experience. I'm like, oh, wow. Like, folks just didn't have this safe space. Like, I want to create this safe space for everybody to have access to. You know what I mean? So thank you. I appreciate that.
- [47:07]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Because when you in the segment, you.
- [47:09]
Sheila Marie
Doing it, you're like, okay, oh, that number's cute, but let me get to 10 million.
- [47:13]
Chelsea Von Chaz
No, it's listening. The best. The best byproduct of me doing this podcast is I'm consistently reminded of the world that I want to be in.
- [47:25]
Sheila Marie
Yeah.
- [47:26]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I am consistently in conversation with women who are empathetic and caring and care about themselves in the world and are just creating new lanes. And it's just really nice because sometimes on social media, I feel like you can forget.
- [47:39]
Sheila
Oh, yeah.
- [47:39]
Sheila Marie
For sure.
- [47:40]
Chelsea Von Chaz
That there's these type of people out here and that black women are really doing well. We never forget that.
- [47:45]
Black women do.
- [47:45]
Sheila Marie
Okay, so we both forget.
- [47:47]
Chelsea Von Chaz
We never forget that. But that, you know, that we're out here, there's so much of us. So thank you for being that reminder.
- [47:53]
Sheila Marie
Thank you.
- [47:53]
Chelsea Von Chaz
I want to talk about medical advocacy.
- [47:56]
Sheila Marie
Yes.
- [47:56]
Chelsea Von Chaz
This is huge. Even women like Beyonce.
- [48:00]
Sheila Marie
Okay.
- [48:01]
Chelsea Von Chaz
The Beyonce. Okay. Giselle Knowles and Serena Williams have shared their stories about being dismissed by doctors. So I just think this is such a huge topic. I've seen. There was so. There was a time where there was all these articles and CNN was doing big thing about it. And I want to know what is your take on the way society views Black women's pain?
- [48:25]
Sheila Marie
Oh, it's so. It's so heavy. Yeah. I think because our bodies at one point were not our own. I think that's still. That dark, heavy cloud is still over us. Us, for the most part, especially because we have to go into these healthcare spaces and, you know, with racism being so, you know, being rooted in the healthcare space, I think our body is still looked at like, you're strong. We know you're strong, you're strong, so we don't have to worry about you. So there's just not. There's not a level of care that we receive, and we all deserve that care. It's almost like they look at us like we are not human, that we are actually like superhumans or. You know what I mean? And it's scary. I don't think there's nothing positive about that, which is why I always push for folks, especially us black women and black girls, because I think it's important to have this conversation with kids, black girls too, to advocate for yourself, to stand up for yourself with everybody from.
- [49:48]
Chelsea Von Chaz
How. How can we advocate If I'm in the doctor's office and, you know, the doctor's dismissing me or, you know, telling me something and I'm advocating for myself, I'm saying, hey, I feel this way, and they're saying, you're fine. What can we do in that position to empower ourselves?
- [50:06]
Sheila Marie
Well, so we just finished talking about tracking your period. Right. So I think it's super important when you're tracking your period to make sure you are actually writing all of this down. So period tracking apps. Cute. Fine. Which we can kind of dive more into later. But period tracking apps is one thing. I think they're okay. But I think journaling your period is a lot more powerful because you're gonna more than likely take a lot more notes. So when I was talking about really marking that more than just when your period's coming, but your symptoms, your blood flow, color, colors, density, you know, what, what's happening, like what's physically happening to you every month. What are the changes? So think about, like if you, if you are in the doctor's office. So, but let's break it down. Like if you were tracking your period for about nine months, let's just say nine months, tracking your period, writing it down. You bring your period journal into the doctor's office. This is your data. Because more than likely going to your ob gyn, you're only going to see him or her, they them for about six minutes. That's average, average time you're in the doctor's office for your obgyn. Just visit. Let's just say it's not even a pap smear visit. This is, let's say this is the visit before you even get to the Pap smear, which some, which for some people, it's like, I don't like pap smear. So I'm just going to go, like, visit, which is totally fine, but let's just make this visit impactful. So bring that data with you. Because they don't know you. Let's just be honest. They know about the female body. They went through all the medical stuff, but they don't know you. You. You know you. Only you can tell somebody else what's going on with your body. So when they ask you what brings you in today, what's going on? Let me tell you what's going on. So about three months ago, my period started to change. I noticed, like, I'm clotting suddenly. And then like, my last period, you know, it lasted about 12 days. Now usually my period lasts like five to seven days, but for every single month, like, you know, I'm adding more and more days to my period. And then now, like, when I'm clotting, like, I can feel it. It feels like a little jellyfish or like a little like something that's like, passing through, like. And then now my blood, like, when my blood runs, it feels almost like I'm peeing on myself. Like it's running water. I'm going through about like 14 pads a day. Like, what is this? That is going to ring off so many red flags to the doctor and leave no room for them to be dismissive because you've brought all this data to the table. And for those folks out there, even though. So let's say they, they write it off like, oh, well, you want to just try birth control pills? No, I don't. No birth control pills. Not even, not even off the table.
- [52:46]
Chelsea Von Chaz
They love telling you, well, here's. Just take some birth control and call it a day.
- [52:50]
Sheila Marie
No, I don't do drugs. No, thank you. Just say no. And that is totally fine for you to tell them. No. No birth control. However, what I would like to do, it would really, really help me with my mental health. My mental health. Because now this is debilitating me physically and emotionally. It's making me feel a certain type of way. So it would be amazing if we can have some other, like, what are some other steps? Is there, like, some type of, like, test that I can take? How about a. How about an ultrasound? Like a trans vaginal ultrasound, which is, which is super common. You have the ultrasound on the outside, you know, for folks who are pregnant or suspected to be pregnant. And then there's a transvaginal ultrasound on which I think is uncomfortable. I would just be honest. For some folks, it can Be uncomfortable. But I think for folks who are dealing with like, certain issues, like potentially like endometriosis or especially like fibroids, that's a really important procedure to have to get a clear picture of what's going on. Right.
- [53:51]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Because sometimes they can't see on the ultrasound.
- [53:54]
Sheila Marie
They may not be able to see it. Also, like, you know, other physical symptoms, like some people have a bloat. Like, I had a bloat when I dealt with fibroids for about three years, that just would not leave me. And it was just super annoying. But bringing that data leaves no room for them to be dismissive towards you. And if they are dismissive, you need to be writing that down too. It's illegal in most states to record your doctors or any type of like, medical professional, but it's not illegal for you to write things down. Like it. You observe some things or if you know, of course, like, you can always go to certain, like health boards, medical boards to file complaints and things. You have every right to do that. I feel like a lot of people don't know that they don't have a right to file a complaint against medical professionals.
- [54:40]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Yes, that's true.
- [54:41]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, you do have a right to do that.
- [54:43]
Chelsea Von Chaz
And you know what you just made me think of even the act of coming into your doctor's office with a journal and saying at the beginning of the appointment, oh, hi, doctor. I just try to keep track of all my medical history. So I'll be taking note. Like, even that can make your doctor listen to you more like a subconscious signal, like they're recording. Yeah. You know what I mean?
- [55:03]
Sheila Marie
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. But it's like you could, I mean, you, you just have to be yourself and just let them know that you mean business. You know, if you, if you bust down in there with a few big words, few medical terms. Excuse me, I believe there's some sub serosal fibroids that I have going on up in here because for some reason, like, I keep clotting and it's, and it's really, like, it's really bothering my mental health, you know, and then I'm also suspecting that I have premenstrual. Premenstrual disorder, like some of some sorts. Because now I feel different emotionally. Like, you know what I mean? So it's like, you don't have to like, bust it down like you are just an open book of web MD necessarily, but it's just honest. It's, it's serious. I think, like, that's, that's the huge problem that we're facing right now where women's health is just not taken seriously. Everyone just keeps like the being hyper focused on abortion rights and abortions. It is important, important, super important. But that is just one component of women's health. There's so many other issues that we're dealing with and we're so far behind. So advocating for yourself, if you also, I will say if you don't feel comfortable going to healthcare spaces by yourself, bring somebody that you trust. That's not illegal. You can definitely bring someone with you, whether that's a partner, your best friend, parent, you know, somebody that you trust. Just bring somebody there for you. I am the number one people bring because they know I do not play. But yeah, but it does help, you know, for you to have some type of support for sure.
- [56:42]
Ryan
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Sheila
I'm thirsty.
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Ryan
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- [58:14]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Any resources like apps or books or organizations that you can recommend for listeners who may have, you know, who want to learn More about their health and medical rights.
- [58:25]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, I think. Let me see, let me think about that actually, because I think like I was just talking to someone about just more resources, like for. For folks when it comes to just specifically like advocacy. What I will say though, like off top of my head, I would encourage everybody to read a little bit more about patient advocacy because that's essentially what that is. Patient advocacy is literally you being a patient in any healthcare space and there being some type of like advocate for you for your health. For when you have any issues with a provider, any issues with anybody or anything within health care spaces, there's always an organization or representative that's a patient advocate in all healthcare spaces. I think that's something that people just simply just do not know. I want to say they are also an organization, patient advocacy org. I want to say that they're called out. You'll have to. Don't quote me on it. I'll have to like look it up. But that is super important for folks who, who just have a really hard time with. From medical insurance and billing issues, folks giving them attitude. Folks, you know, gaslighting, medical gaslighting is so huge with women. For folks that may not know what that is, it's when a provider can essentially manipulate you into thinking that your problem or health care issue is not as big as what you are saying it is. They may tell you that it's not a big deal or that you don't know what you're talking about because they're the doctor or that they have X, Y and Z years of, you know, schooling, education, and you don't. So that could change your complete like, experience and your feeling as a patient to the point where you just now are like, I'm ready to leave. I. Maybe this person is right. Maybe my period is supposed to be painful. Maybe my period is supposed to be, you know, eight to 10 days and I'm just supposed to just get on. Maybe I should just get on birth control. You know, just you feeling like you just do not matter. Your feelings, your thoughts, like all your experience, what you're going through do not matter because they know more than what you do. Which is essentially not true. Because again, like I said before, you know, your body, not a doctor that's only gonna see you for about less than 10 minutes once a year. Ashley Blaine Featherson.
- [61:07]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Absolutely. Woo. You gave us a lot of love.
- [61:10]
Sheila Marie
I know I did. And we can go over some shit. Cause it's a lot to take in.
- [61:14]
Chelsea Von Chaz
No, no, no, no. It's Meaning the best way. This is such a very powerful episode. I feel that women are gonna get so much from this. This is the part of the episode where we leave them with a toolkit. Oh yes. So another tool to add in their unruly tool order to stay unruly. Y'all, y'all gotta do the work. You know this. And so we always leave them with like one simple tool that they can leave in their toolkit. So if you have one that's either about advocating for yourself in healthcare spaces, which you might have already addressed, which kind of sounds like the journal is a great one, or anything regarding our menstrual health, feel free to share for.
- [61:53]
Sheila Marie
Our listeners tip number one and I. And it may like be a heavy one, but I just think it really just needs to be said. Trust your intuition. If you feel like something's wrong, you know, it's something. Something may. Something may be wrong. And sometimes it's not about things being wrong. It could just be off. Like something is just off. But trust that intuition and be persistent in getting some answers, you know, and that could be with you like sticking to journaling your parents, you know what I mean? Like being consistent in that. Getting the answers that you need in medical spaces. I think that's super important for sure. And don't stop until you're satisfied. But I think trusting your intuition is just the key component in that for sure. Like you gotta do that first and keep doing it and never stop doing it. Journaling your period though, I think it's a game changer, especially now. Cause you did kind of touch on the issue that we have now with period tracking apps like people being. And even in spaces where abortion rights are just non existent now and we don't know what these next four years are gonna be for us. Especially like dealing with. And beyond. Yeah, yeah, and beyond. Right. So I think folks are not really knowing what to do. You know, we got into this space where we have so many cool period tracking apps and now we know we don't know if we can trust them or not. And I think with encryption being kind of, it's like, okay, that's cute, but what if you're subpoenaed?
- [63:34]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Exactly.
- [63:35]
Sheila Marie
You know what I'm saying?
- [63:36]
Chelsea Von Chaz
That goes out the window.
- [63:37]
Sheila Marie
What are we going to do? So I think the best way to do it is just going to be journaling your period. And I also don't really want to shout out any specific apps right now. One, they're not paying me to. And two, they just have a Lot of work to be doing because a lot of things are changing. So I think it's just super important for you to really, like, tune into this to body literacy, like, for yourself and practice, practice on that and talk to people. Like, we have a community. Like, we have other folks who have periods, who may have issues. There's so many amazing. You asked me about organizations. There's so many amazing organizations that help folks who have reproductive issues. We Can Wear White is a Maze. An organization that supports women with fire fibroids. Endo for US EndoMetrios organization, which is, I think, a really beautiful organization that's helping folks, you know, gain more education. Like, you know, like, we, we are creating these spaces for us. And, you know, because the government, it's just not enough that's been done, especially when it comes to funding for our research, funding for our. For our care. You know, like, we. We have a lot of work that we have to do for ourselves because, you know, the women's healthcare, like, it's. It's not advanced enough. It's. It's cute. It's cute.
- [65:05]
Chelsea Von Chaz
It's just the beginning. It's just the beginning.
- [65:07]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, but it's just the beginning. We gotta catch up for sure. We have a long way to go, so thank you. But we got it. Like, we're indigenous.
- [65:14]
Chelsea Von Chaz
We do.
- [65:14]
Sheila Marie
We're ancestral. Like, you know, we here, like, we come from women who have been doing it for centuries. You know, we come from the first woman who had to do it first. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, we, we got it. We. We honestly have all the tools. I think we just have to remember that, you know, we got this.
- [65:31]
Chelsea Von Chaz
We have them. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Chelsea. You're welcome. For joining Unruly today. Advocating for your health, whether it's understanding your menstrual cycle or speaking up in medical spaces, is an act of self love and self resilience. And we are so thankful that you were our guide for that today. Thank you for educating us and inspiring us. Thank you inspiring me to take charge of our health and empower the next generation to do the same so they don't have to go through the same things we went through. Okay, for anyone listening, where can they find you, Chelsea, to find out about your incredible work and find out what you got going on.
- [66:12]
Sheila Marie
Online? Child, y'all can find me on threads. I be on there talking shit, but not talking shit. I be speaking my mind. But yeah, like, no, I have a website, my website, Chelsea Vchaz.com is actually like where anybody who is actually interested in like my doula services. If you're local in la, like I'm available unless you want, you know, just to have some type of support. I also provide virtual support as well but for the mamas, like folks who are working on their fertility, you know, pregnancy, you know, if you're in la, hit me up and yeah, like for more information about the charity Happy Period. Hashtag Happy Period. We go by both, both names. If you interested in getting involved with us, like please hit us up@happyperiod.org we're also on social. Yeah, big things. Big things coming in 2025 period.
- [67:04]
Chelsea Von Chaz
And I know that I'm ready to, I'm following, I'm ready to join the journey. Thank you so much Chelsea for joining us. Yeah, may you all stay happy, healthy and of course unruly until next time. If you have something on your mind, a question or something you want me to answer, just send in a voice note@speakpipe.com unruly I can't wait to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. Be sure to follow or subscribe so you never, ever, ever, ever miss an episode of Un.
- [67:58]
Ryan
All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan Partisan. It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off, so how about a Cosmopolitan or a Mistletoe margarita?
- [68:19]
Sheila
I'm thirsty.
- [68:20]
Ryan
Watch. I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.
- [68:24]
Sheila
Feel more seasonal in here already.
- [68:26]
Ryan
If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian, because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly and is looking. And I just got it for $50 off.
- [68:38]
Sheila
Tis the season to be jollier.
- [68:42]
Chelsea Von Chaz
Add some holiday flavor to every celebration with the sleek, sophisticated home cocktail maker Bartesian. Get $50 off any cocktail maker at bartesian.com cocktail. That's B A R T E S I A N dot com cocktail.
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