Podcast Summary: UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE Episode 14: Solo Episode: Ditch Resolutions: Reflect and Recharge To Reclaim 2025 Release Date: January 7, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 14 of Unruly with Shelah Marie, host Shelah Marie delves into a solo reflection on abandoning traditional New Year’s resolutions in favor of a more intentional approach to personal growth. Released at the dawn of 2025, this episode serves as a contemplative guide for listeners to reflect on the past year and recharge for the year ahead. Shelah shares four transformative lessons learned in 2024, drawing from her personal experiences and emphasizing the importance of alignment, boundaries, and authentic decision-making.

Lesson 1: Haste Makes Waste

Shelah begins by exploring the pitfalls of rushing through tasks and decisions, encapsulating the age-old adage, "Haste makes waste." As an Aries, she naturally gravitates towards fast-paced actions and being first, which often led her to overcommit and produce subpar work.

• Key Insight: Rushing can lead to mistakes and require additional time to rectify them.

• Example: She recounts her experience writing her book, Unruly. In her initial attempt to adhere to a strict writing schedule, Shelah found that her work became too regimented and lost her authentic voice, resulting in multiple rewrites. She states, “I was trying to rush myself in order to meet deadlines... causing myself to do double work” (05:15).

• Quote: “Faster doesn't mean quicker. Faster might mean you have to do something three times in a row” (07:45).

• Takeaway: Allowing herself more time and seeking help when needed enabled Shelah to produce work that truly reflected her creative energy, highlighting the importance of pacing oneself to maintain quality.

Lesson 2: Sometimes What You Think You Want Isn't What You Want

This lesson delves into the distinction between superficial desires and deeper, more meaningful needs. Shelah emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying energetic experiences we seek in our pursuits.

• Key Insight: People often chase after the appearance of something rather than the essence or energy it brings into their lives.

• Example: She shares her aspiration to become a famous actress, a dream she once pursued without considering the emotional and energetic toll it would take. She realized that the glamorous life she desired required her to adopt behaviors and energies that conflicted with her authentic self. She reflects, “I didn't like the version of Sheila that I had to be to schmooze... I was literally drained” (10:30).

• Quote: “What we are really looking for when we're looking for anything... is an energetic experience” (08:50).

• Takeaway: She encourages listeners to evaluate not just their goals but also the personal transformations required to achieve them, ensuring alignment with their true selves.

Lesson 3: Boundaries are Bridges, Not Walls

Shelah discusses the importance of setting healthy boundaries as a means to foster genuine connections rather than isolating oneself. This lesson stems from her personal struggles with trust and community after traumatic experiences.

• Key Insight: Properly established boundaries facilitate meaningful relationships and self-trust.

• Example: After feeling betrayed and distrustful post her tenure on Love and Hip Hop, Shelah built rigid boundaries that led to isolation. Through healing, she learned to create boundaries that supported connections. She explains, “These boundaries are not about keeping people out. They’re about creating the space to connect with integrity” (09:20).

• Quote: “Boundaries are bridges, not walls” (09:35).

• Takeaway: By redefining her boundaries, Shelah was able to rebuild a supportive and diverse friendship network, enhancing her sense of community and personal trust.

Lesson 4: If It's Not a Hell Yes, It's a Hell No

The final lesson emphasizes the importance of enthusiastic commitment to endeavors. Shelah adopts the philosophy that unless she feels a strong, passionate “yes,” it should be a definitive “no.”

• Key Insight: Investing energy only in projects and relationships that elicit genuine excitement leads to greater fulfillment and efficiency.

• Example: She highlights how adopting the “hell yes” principle transformed her professional life. By only committing to opportunities that thrilled her, Shelah found success with her podcast, which quickly rose to the top 20 on Apple Music. She shares, “If you abide by this rule in this year, you will waste less time, you will feel more energized, and you will feel more in alignment with who you are” (10:55).

• Quote: “If it's not an enthusiastic full body, hell yes. Give yourself the permission to say no” (11:30).

• Takeaway: This approach not only conserves energy but also ensures that Shelah engages in activities that resonate deeply with her values and passions, leading to authentic success and personal satisfaction.

Conclusion

As Shelah Marie wraps up the episode, she reflects on the tumultuous nature of 2024 and how these lessons have guided her towards a more aligned and fulfilling life. She encourages listeners to introspect and apply these insights to reclaim their own narratives in 2025. The session concludes with Shelah inviting listeners to share their own lessons and reflections, fostering a two-way conversation aimed at collective growth and learning.

• Final Reflection: “These lessons were not the easiest to learn, but they were invaluable. And I promise you, if you take any of these into this year, you will not regret it” (12:45).

• Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to visit speakpipe.com/unruly to share their reflections and participate in upcoming episodes.

Notable Quotes:

1. “Faster doesn't mean quicker. Faster might mean you have to do something three times in a row” (07:45).
2. “What we are really looking for when we're looking for anything... is an energetic experience” (08:50).
3. “Boundaries are bridges, not walls” (09:35).
4. “If it's not an enthusiastic full body, hell yes. Give yourself the permission to say no” (11:30).

Final Thoughts

Episode 14 of Unruly with Shelah Marie offers a profound exploration of intentional living, emphasizing the significance of pacing, authentic desires, healthy boundaries, and passionate commitments. Shelah Marie’s candid revelations serve as a roadmap for listeners seeking to align their actions with their true selves, ensuring a more balanced and fulfilling journey into 2025.