UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE - Episode 18: Why Can't Parenting Be Fun? Joyful Parenting with Elise R. Peterson

In Episode 18 of UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE, host Shelah Marie engages in a heartfelt and insightful conversation with Elise R. Peterson, a visual artist, writer, and host of the Cool Moms podcast. Together, they explore the complexities of parenting, emphasizing the importance of finding joy and maintaining personal growth amidst the challenges of raising children. This detailed summary captures the essence of their discussion, highlighting key points, notable quotes, and practical insights for listeners.

1. Introduction to Elise R. Peterson

Shelah Marie introduces Elise R. Peterson, highlighting her role as a visual artist, writer, and the co-founder of Little Sprouts, an initiative focused on mindful and joyful parenting. Elise's approach to parenting intertwines creativity, intentionality, and personal growth, making her a perfect guest to discuss why parenting doesn't have to be a purely stressful endeavor.

2. Celebrating “Cool Mom” Moments

Elise shares a touching moment with her son, Sergeant, illustrating the deep bond and mutual respect in their relationship.

[04:01] Elise R. Peterson: "Not everyone's parent is that cool. Do you think I'm cool?"
[05:50] Elise R. Peterson: "He's having this life experience for the first time the same way that I am."

Elise recounts a conversation with her six-year-old son where he reassures her of her coolness as a parent. This interaction underscores the importance of authenticity and honest communication in fostering a strong parent-child relationship.

3. The Continuous Challenges of Parenting

Elise delves into the relentless mental demands of parenting, emphasizing that the responsibilities never truly end.

[08:37] Elise R. Peterson: "I will never not be thinking of someone outside of myself."

Elise discusses the constant worry and care that comes with parenting, even during periods when her child is not physically present. This perpetual mental engagement is a significant challenge, highlighting the need for strategies to manage ongoing stress.

4. Transitioning from Self-Centered Life to Parenthood

Elise reflects on how motherhood transformed her from a self-focused individual to someone with a deep sense of purpose beyond herself.

[11:05] Elise R. Peterson: "I needed to have a child to, like, get my shit together for sure."

Motherhood acted as a catalyst for Elise's personal growth and healing, pushing her to balance her passions with her responsibilities as a parent. This transition was essential for her, providing a new direction and motivation in life.

5. Embracing Joy in Parenting

Both Shelah and Elise emphasize that joy is the "secret ingredient" to mindful parenting, advocating for finding happiness in everyday moments.

[18:57] Elise R. Peterson: "You're doing it all the time, so you might as well be having fun and finding some joy in it."

Elise shares various ways to incorporate joy into parenting, such as through music, art, and outdoor activities. She believes that embracing joyful moments can transform the parenting experience from one of mere responsibility to a fulfilling and enriching journey.

6. The Importance of Community and Support

Elise highlights the role of community in parenting, noting that it takes a village to raise a child effectively.

[34:33] Elise R. Peterson: "It takes a village to be able to build a mother."

Through her podcast Cool Moms, Elise creates a platform that fosters a supportive community of mothers who prioritize both their parenting and personal passions. This collective wisdom and shared experiences help parents navigate their unique challenges.

7. Navigating Shame and Judgment in Parenting

The conversation addresses the pervasive shame and judgment that parents, especially mothers, often face in society.

[50:47] Elise R. Peterson: "Shame is a useless emotion. It does nothing for you but put you in a spiral of self-doubt and blame."

Elise discusses how shame can hinder effective parenting and personal well-being. She advocates for releasing shame by acknowledging it and seeking help, emphasizing the need for compassion and support rather than judgment.

8. Practical Tips and Toolkit for Parents

In the toolkit section, Elise offers actionable advice for parents feeling overwhelmed and seeking more connection and peace.

• Incorporate Music: Use music to set the mood and create moments of connection.

  [26:23] Elise R. Peterson: "Music is a huge thing. It's such an easy way to set a certain vibe... to connect with your child."

• Identify and Express Emotions: Teach children to recognize and articulate their emotions using visual aids like emotion charts.

  [52:43] Elise R. Peterson: "Teaching your kids how to identify emotions in a moment... is something that I did."

• Set and Reinforce Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and consistently reinforce them to create a respectful and structured environment.

  [53:37] Elise R. Peterson: "Being able to talk about emotions... and set boundaries is crucial."

• Engage in Creative Activities: Encourage joint creative endeavors such as painting or doodling to strengthen the parent-child bond.

  [28:52] Elise R. Peterson: "Art is a massive unlock for us... getting creative together."

9. Conclusion and Future Endeavors

Shelah Marie wraps up the episode by commending Elise for her wisdom and practical insights. Elise shares her upcoming project, a video series in partnership with the Line Home Hotel, which aims to continue fostering a community of Cool Moms. Listeners are encouraged to follow her journey on Instagram and through her Cool Moms platform.

[55:59] Elise R. Peterson: "Our website will be launching alongside of it so you can watch all of the episodes from our live experiences with very cool moms."

Key Takeaways

• Authenticity in Parenting: Being genuine and honest with your children fosters trust and respect.
• Balancing Personal Growth and Parenting: Embracing both roles can lead to personal fulfillment and effective parenting.
• Community Support: Building a supportive network of fellow parents provides valuable insights and emotional backing.
• Embracing Joy: Finding joy in small moments can transform the parenting experience.
• Releasing Shame: Acknowledging and addressing shame through compassion and support enhances well-being for both parents and children.

Final Thoughts

Episode 18 of UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE offers a profound exploration of mindful and joyful parenting. Through Elise R. Peterson's experiences and insights, listeners gain valuable strategies to navigate the challenges of parenting while maintaining personal growth and happiness. This episode serves as a reminder that parenting, while demanding, can also be a source of immense joy and personal transformation.

Connect with Elise R. Peterson:

• Instagram: @eliserpeterson
• Cool Moms Website: coolmoms.com
• Upcoming Video Series: In partnership with Line Home Hotel, launching at the end of the month.

Join the Conversation: Have a question or story for Shelah Marie? Record your message at speakpipe.com/unruly and it might be featured in an upcoming episode!