24: Purpose Ain’t Pretty: The Truth About Living in Alignment ft. Blake Newby

Summary

Podcast Summary: UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE – Episode 24: "Purpose Ain’t Pretty: The Truth About Living in Alignment" ft. Blake Newby

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Introduction

In Episode 24 of UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE, host Shelah Marie engages in an enlightening conversation with journalist, beauty and fashion expert, media professor, and podcast host Blake Newby. The episode, titled "Purpose Ain’t Pretty: The Truth About Living in Alignment", delves deep into the complexities of living a purpose-driven life, recognizing misalignment, and trusting oneself to follow one's true path.

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Guest Introduction

Shelah Marie begins by introducing Blake Newby, highlighting her multifaceted career and contributions to journalism and media. She praises Blake's versatility and authentic approach, setting the stage for a candid discussion about purpose and alignment.

Key Quote:

"This is my host, Sheila Marie. I'm an author, a fierce advocate for black women, and the founder of the curvy curly conscious movement." — Shelah Marie [01:02]

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Defining Purpose and Alignment

The conversation kicks off with Shelah asking Blake to define what it means to live a purpose-driven life. Blake emphasizes that purpose is often overcomplicated by external influences like family, social media, and societal expectations. Instead, she advocates for leaning into one's strengths and passions to discover and evolve one's purpose.

Key Quotes:

"Purpose for me, my purpose, my path to purpose, has really just looked like leaning into the things that I'm good at and the things that I'm passionate about." — Blake Newby [08:20]

"Purpose evolves. It takes on different meanings, and your purpose can change and evolve." — Blake Newby [09:20]

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Career Pivots and Personal Growth

Blake shares her journey of career pivots, including her initial struggles in journalism with CBS News and her transition into PR and beauty venture capital. She discusses how each pivot brought her closer to understanding her true purpose—storytelling—without being confined to a single medium.

Key Quote:

"I just have to go through it. I have to trust that I will have the skills and the tools to deal with criticism, with feedback, and that I will be all right at the end of the day." — Shelah Marie [19:40]

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Trusting Oneself and Building Confidence

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the importance of self-trust and confidence. Blake admits that she wasn't always confident in her voice and platforming her thoughts publicly. Over time, she learned to value her opinions and trust her intuition, which allowed her to stay true to her purpose despite external judgments.

Key Quotes:

"You have to trust yourself." — Shelah Marie [52:02]

"Practice day by day trusting the voice, trusting your intuition." — Blake Newby [50:25]

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Challenges of a Purpose-Driven Life

Blake candidly discusses the hardships of living a purpose-driven life, including financial pressures, burnout, and the constant evolution of one's purpose. She highlights the emotional toll of not feeling "enough" even when achieving milestones and the struggle to balance ambition with personal well-being.

Key Quotes:

"Purpose driven life is a possibility driven life." — Blake Newby [12:37]

"It's the hardest but the most rewarding stage in my life that I've ever been in." — Blake Newby [20:19]

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Combating Hustle Culture

The episode critiques the prevailing hustle culture, especially its impact on Black women who often juggle multiple roles and responsibilities. Blake points out how the pressure to constantly hustle can lead to burnout and distract from genuine purpose, emphasizing the need for moments of stillness and self-reflection.

Key Quotes:

"It just becomes this never-ending cycle of, like, okay, so I have to work and I have to do this." — Blake Newby [42:40]

"Silence has been my biggest thing. But I think on the flip side of that, you do have to enjoy your own thoughts." — Blake Newby [36:57]

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Purpose vs. Passion

Blake distinguishes between purpose and passion, explaining that while passions are activities one loves, they don't necessarily constitute one's purpose. She shares her personal experiences of enjoying music and Pilates without integrating them into her professional life, underscoring the importance of maintaining hobbies separate from one's purpose.

Key Quotes:

"There are things that I'm really passionate about that I'm just passionate about. And that's it." — Blake Newby [44:14]

"Passions don't have to feel heavy." — Shelah Marie [45:51]

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Dealing with External Pressures

The discussion also touches on the influence of social media and societal expectations on one's sense of purpose. Blake addresses the unrealistic portrayal of entrepreneurship and the glorification of being a content creator, urging listeners to pursue paths that align with their true selves rather than chasing trendy careers.

Key Quotes:

"There's a myth about living a purpose-driven life that it has to be lucrative." — Blake Newby [24:18]

"We need less T-shirt designers. We need more dentists." — Blake Newby [32:14]

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Final Advice and Toolkit

As the episode concludes, Blake offers practical advice for women seeking to find and stay aligned with their purpose. She emphasizes the importance of trusting one's intuition, setting aside time for self-reflection, and being willing to evolve. Shelah and Blake reiterate the mantra to "trust yourself" as a crucial takeaway for listeners.

Key Quotes:

"Take alone time to evaluate the things that you want, the things that you need, the things that your stomach and gut are telling you." — Blake Newby [50:25]

"Trust yourself." — Shelah Marie [52:02] | Blake Newby [52:07]

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Conclusion

Episode 24 of UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE offers a profound exploration of living a purpose-driven life, filled with honest reflections and actionable insights from Blake Newby. The conversation underscores the significance of self-trust, the challenges of aligning with one's true purpose amidst external pressures, and the necessity of distinguishing between purpose and passion. Listeners are left with empowering affirmations and practical tools to navigate their personal growth journeys.

Where to Find Blake Newby:

• Instagram: @BlakeLauren (with a "W")
• TikTok: @BlakeNewby
• Podcast: According to Blake on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Spotify

Stay Connected: To join the conversation or ask Shelah Marie a question, visit speakpipe.com/unruly.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Shelah Marie [01:02]: "Welcome to Unruly. I'm your host, Sheila Marie..."
• Blake Newby [08:20]: "Purpose for me, my purpose, my path to purpose..."
• Blake Newby [09:20]: "Purpose evolves. It takes on different meanings..."
• Shelah Marie [52:02]: "You have to trust yourself."
• Blake Newby [50:25]: "Take alone time to evaluate the things that you want..."
• Blake Newby [24:18]: "I don't think that a purpose driven life is necessarily a lucrative life."

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Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a masterclass in understanding and embracing one's purpose amidst the chaos of modern life. Blake Newby's transparency about her struggles and triumphs provides a relatable and inspiring narrative for listeners striving to live authentically and purposefully.

Transcript

[Blake Newby]

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[Sheila Marie]

Welcome to Unruly. I'm your host, Sheila Marie. I'm an author, a fierce advocate for black women, and the founder of the curvy curly conscious movement. In this space, I'm sharing what I've learned on my own journey while sitting down with some amazing women who are all navigating their own paths to healing. Because there's no better time than now to get a little unruly. All right, y'all. Welcome back to Unruly. It's your girl, Sheila Marie, of course. And today's episode is all about purpose. Yeah, asmr.

[Blake Newby]

Purpose.

[Sheila Marie]

When you know that feeling when you just get when you're doing something and it just clicks. That's what we're talking about today. When the work, the passion and the drive all align. That is what we desire and that is what our girl Blake is going to help us get into. We have Blake Newby in the building. And if you don't know Blake, let me introduce you. Let me put you on. Okay. She's a powerhouse journalist, a beauty and fashion expert, a media professor, and the host of the amazing podcast, according to Blake, where she keeps it real from. From everything from career pivots to self care. You may have read her words in Essence Allure or Cosmopolitan. Or maybe you've seen her on Good Morning America breaking down red carpet looks. Yes, sister. Come on. We love a multifaceted queen. So today we're gonna be talking about what does it mean to live a purpose driven life? How do you recognize when you're out of alignment, and most importantly, how do you trust yourself enough to let your purpose lead the way? Blake, I am so happy to have you in unruly. I'm so happy to get into these topics, honey. You guys, I don't know if you can. Well, most of you, you'll see clips on socials, which you can just hear now just, you know, she's looking beautiful. Okay.

[Blake Newby]

I told her this is not. I know that you're gonna say, whatever. This is not typical. Okay. If I was just in the house. But for you, I had.

[Sheila Marie]

Thank you.

[Blake Newby]

For you, I was like, I need to pull it together.

[Sheila Marie]

Yes. Court me. Court me, jk. I love it. So I want to. I want to start with the icebreaker question. Okay.

[Blake Newby]

Okay.

[Sheila Marie]

So you're at a dinner party and someone asks you, what do you do? What's the realest way you answer that?

[Blake Newby]

This took me a long time, right? Because I think when. And you can relate when you got a bunch of jobs.

[Sheila Marie]

I'm like.

[Blake Newby]

Like, I need to streamline this. So now I tell people that I'm a digital content creator and host. Just keep it, period. Gather. I think, yeah. When you say, like, I know that I shouldn't care, but a lot of people when you say the word influencer, it kind of like it immediately, like, the guard goes down. So now I say digital content creator because I think that that creates a broader meaning.

[Sheila Marie]

It kind of feels like it gives you a little authority too, like, you know, creatively, which.

[Blake Newby]

And we shouldn't have to. But I think the word influencer has taken on so many meanings recently that I just. I just. I'd rather. Rather not even say it.

[Sheila Marie]

Right. She's like, I don't know what I'm influencing. I just know what I'm creating. Okay, Right, Right. So what is the wildest career pivot that you've considered but you didn't take?

[Blake Newby]

The wildest career pivot that I considered but didn't take. Okay. So honestly, when my first. When I first moved to New York, I took whatever job would get me to New York. I was that girl. I just need to move to New York. So I took a job with CBS News. That was my first ever job because I used to tell people that I wanted to be Soledad O'Brien. I hated it. I hated it. You know, News is a 24 hour cycle. I'm 22 years old in New York, so I'm entry level. I was working 4 to midnight Wednesday through Sunday, so my weekend was Monday through Tuesday, I was just miserable. Like, I thought that it was the worst life in the world. I was miserable. I hated it. And at the time, I just wanted to take any job. Like, when I tell you any job. And I guess this couldn't really be considered wild, you know, necessarily, but I think it would have been very different than what I was doing. I was applying to all these PR jobs, fashion PR jobs, and. Cause I just wanted any job that would get me out of what I was doing. So I didn't. Luckily, it didn't stick. I don't think I would have been a bad publicist. But I also. That's not my purpose.

[Sheila Marie]

And we're talking about that.

[Blake Newby]

So I think it's not wild. I'm sorry, y'all. There's not a final answer. I have, like, a wild one, but I would definitely say that that one is the one that I think people are like you. I could maybe see you as a publicist, but not really.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah. I feel like I could see you doing a lot of things, but I feel like you need to be in front of the camera for sure. That's.

[Blake Newby]

And that's where. That's where we're at now. Yeah.

[Sheila Marie]

This is interesting. It's making me think about how would I answer that question? I'm, like, the wildest. I'm just like you. I moved to New York right out of college, and I was like, I'll just. You know, I'm just trying to make money. And I was actually. I was working as a nanny for this one family and.

[Blake Newby]

But I was studying college, though. Don't knock it. The nannies make money. Oh. Was making more money than everybody in college.

[Sheila Marie]

Listen, that was. That job got me. Right? Okay.

[Blake Newby]

That's the hustle.

[Sheila Marie]

And he knew I was studying acting at the same time, so I was acting and being a nanny, and he was like, I am. I. He run out of company. And he was like, my employees are just not motivated. They're complaining a lot. I have a proposition for you. I know you're an actress. Can you come to. I'm going to. I'm going to fake hire you. So you're going to come to my. My job, you know, my workplace. Pretend to apply. I'm going to put you through all the process, like a new hire. And then as. As you get hired, I want you to just come to work and complain about everything. And then I'm going to fire you in front of everybody to prove a point.

[Blake Newby]

Like, this is real.

[Sheila Marie]

Yes. I can't believe I really did it.

[Blake Newby]

That's kind of fun. Like, that's not. That's kind of.

[Sheila Marie]

I was like, please don't ask me technical questions, because I was trying to. He gave me, like, stuff to learn quickly, to act like I talk like I knew what I was doing, but.

[Blake Newby]

So how many days were you in this fake job?

[Sheila Marie]

Three days. Okay, so it wasn't that many days. I was like, oh, Lord. And then I just complained in the meeting, and he was like, get out of here. You're fired, in front of everybody. And I was like, did they ever.

[Blake Newby]

Find out that this was fake?

[Sheila Marie]

I have no idea. I don't know. I actually should write it.

[Blake Newby]

If they're watching now, then. Oh, I love that. I feel like it's somebody to hire me.

[Sheila Marie]

I feel like that's such a good strategy. I felt like it was really productive for what he wanted. But anyway, that was a good strategy.

[Blake Newby]

It's giving, like, one of those shows, Undercover Ball.

[Sheila Marie]

It's exactly giving that, but, like, away. Maybe we have a show idea, sis. I don't know. You could take that and run with it.

[Blake Newby]

Now that I could do. That's like, when your girl calls you and she's like, I need you to call. I'm really good at that. If somebody's like, call me. I'm on a date. I'm on an awful date. I'm crying. When I tell you I will cry on that, I will cry. That's why I know I would be good for that.

[Sheila Marie]

I love it. Well, also, are you the person in your life everyone calls for? Like, you're gonna be my reference. Okay. Just say, I worked out. Blah, blah, blah.

[Blake Newby]

My friend is on a reality show right now, and I'm listed as her emergency contact.

[Sheila Marie]

I love it. This just tells me that you give yourself so much permission to live fully and be in your purpose. So let's talk about purpose really quickly. So I feel like when I think of purpose, it feels like this big, elusive thing. Right. That we're always chasing. How do you feel? Like, do you think we, like, overcomplicate it?

[Blake Newby]

I do. And I was recently having this conversation with somebody because I think purpose for me, and it's different for everybody else, but purpose, my purpose, my path to purpose, has really just looked like leaning into the things that I'm good at and the things that I'm passionate about. Whereas I think that people allow a lot of outside factors to dictate what their purpose is, be it family. I mean, I know you can relate. We're black girls. Like, it's like black parents. The amount of times, like, you know, like, parents, friends, social media has been a big thing. It's like, I know so many, not so many, but I know a decent handful of parents who are parents to teenagers now. And so many of them are like, my son has all these skills, all these talents. Her daughter. My son has all these skills, all these talents, but all they can see is influencer. Like, that's all.

[Sheila Marie]

Oh, my gosh, they all want to be.

[Blake Newby]

That's all they can see.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah.

[Blake Newby]

That's all they can see.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah.

[Blake Newby]

And so there's missed opportunity for purpose. So, yeah, I think people overcomplicate it because they. I think they look for it too concretely. Like, I think that purpose evolves. Like, I think that it takes on different meanings, and your purpose can change and evolve. And I think that people want it to be this very concrete thing that we can call out or immediately say, and then on top of that, they're letting other people impact it. So I think a lot of people don't find or live in that purpose because they're overcomplicating it.

[Sheila Marie]

So you said that you lean in. You follow your purpose by leaning in. What you're already good at. How did you know what you were good at? And when did you find out what you were good at?

[Blake Newby]

So I've yapped since I came out the womb. I've always been chatty. Like, there's, like, never a time that I haven't been chatty. And so when I was growing up, everybody used to. I had a nickname at a dance school I was at, and they would call me Raspy. And they were always like, you have a voice.

[Sheila Marie]

I love your raspy voice on tv.

[Blake Newby]

You have a voice for all of these things. You got a raspy voice, too. Raspy.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah, me too.

[Blake Newby]

I love the raspy night. But they used to say, like, and, no, just having a good voice is not the reason, but it was like, I had a good voice, and I had a passion for not just talking, but storytelling. Like, and that has transcended through paper and, like, writing editorially and things like that. I've always had a passion for telling stories, telling people's stories, like, getting to know people, asking questions. I'm very, very, very, like, outgoing. Like, I love talking to people. And so I used to say I wanted to be a news anchor. And this is what I mean about how your purpose takes different shape than what you initially think it is. I really want to be a news anchor. I used to tell people I wanted to be Soledad O'Brien. And it wasn't until I got in news that I realized like, okay, this probably is not gonna be it. But I then ended up in editorial and it was like, but I still enjoy telling stories. So it's not the same. It's still journalism, but it's in a different medium. And then when I got there, they started making me do all the interviews. So I was doing all the interviews for the Met Gala, Black Woman in Hollywood, all of their big events. And then I realized like, oh wait, I love this. Like, I really love doing this. And so I think when I say leaning into the things, it's like I kind of let storytelling be the purpose and kind of let what that looks like take shape. And that's what I mean about like people want it to be this concrete thing. Storytelling is so broad. If somebody told you what's their purpose? And they were like, what's your purpose? And they were like storytelling, right? You'd be like, what? What does that even mean? Because I think that purpose, it evolves. Like, yes, I love.

[Sheila Marie]

What do you mean when you say purpose evolves?

[Blake Newby]

Because I think the needs of your community evolve, the needs of yourself evolve and the mediums by which your purpose are platformed can change and shift as well. And so that's why I'm very. I used to not be. I'm a control freak. I have an issue. Everything needs to be like. I've had a. I planned out my entire life. Nothing has gone as planned. Not a single thing.

[Sheila Marie]

That was gonna be my question.

[Blake Newby]

I single thing has gone as planned. But I still to this day have like planned out my life. And so I think that I've gotten good at understanding. Well, that didn't go the way I thought it did. So let's shift and do this. Because like I said, a purpose driven life, I think is a life where you are open to the possibilities. It's a purpose driven life. Is a possibility driven life. How to have fun anytime, anywhere.

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[Sheila Marie]

The most about your answer is the fact that like when I was growing up, I was very talkative as well. Got in trouble sometimes in school for talking.

[Blake Newby]

My report card was always like, yeah, she's well behaved, but she talks too talkative, right?

[Sheila Marie]

Every time. And also I asked so many questions and I feel like I got called nosy a lot. But it was like I'm just curious about everything I want, I wanted to know. And I feel like you've turned a lot of. It's very healing for me to hear you say that. And I think a lot of women will relate that these, these attributes that are, if they were on men would be framed differently. But somehow on women, you talk too much. You know, a man is assertive or, you know, well, you know what I mean? So I just love that you've taken those things and put them into your purpose. It's really, really cool to watch.

[Blake Newby]

We have to. And I haven't been apologetic, unapologetic about it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I just. Sometimes you have to be comfortable in your purpose too.

[Sheila Marie]

What do you mean?

[Blake Newby]

Like, I haven't always been confident in my own voice, you know, like, yes, I agree, yes, I've always had something to say, but I have not always been confident. Platform or making it for public consumption.

[Sheila Marie]

That's what I'm going through right now. How did you deal with that? What was.

[Blake Newby]

I think you just have to get to a point where it's like, you know what? Fuck y'all the greater goal, the greater purpose. Like, it's like, I can't let. So that I was having this conversation earlier. I really have to. I was telling somebody that this is. I've never liked Blake as much as I like her today.

[Sheila Marie]

Ooh.

[Blake Newby]

I have never liked her this much. Not love liked. Like, I like Blake. I would trust Blake. I would sit across a table and do drinks with Blake. Like, I enjoy Blake. And I think because of that and because I like myself now, I really am like, well, I'm standing 10 toes on my opinion. I don't care if. If you don't like what I have to say or if you don't think that my opinion is valuable because I believe me to be valuable.

[Sheila Marie]

And that's the missing link, isn't it?

[Blake Newby]

We have to view ourselves and our point of views for girls that talk as valuable. And it is, like, the number one thing when people are like, well, you know, how do I start? How do I do? Well, do you post? And they're like, well, no, you have to just do it. There are TikToks that I don't wanna post, that I post. There are posts on Instagram that I don't wanna post, that I post. You just have to do it. Some people like it, some people don't. But I knew that my purpose was to, in some ways, you know, merge all of these platforms. And so I can't let the opinions of others inhibit my purpose and where it takes me.

[Sheila Marie]

So is it that the more you trust or no? The more that you like Blake, the more that Blake feels comfortable sharing her thoughts publicly.

[Blake Newby]

Because the more I like Blake, the more I trust Blake.

[Sheila Marie]

Right. The trust.

[Blake Newby]

So it's like, I trust my opinions. Like, and I trust that not just my opinions, but I trust that if I share them, that there's a community that will receive and will embrace them. And that is what has happened. Like, I used to tell people all the time, I was like, I'm not getting on TikTok. I was like, this is silly.

[Sheila Marie]

I know.

[Blake Newby]

And now look at. Now look at me.

[Sheila Marie]

I'm like. I'm like, are they gonna flame me for being a millennial? Like, I don't know what to post.

[Blake Newby]

And I. But I poke fun. I'm also, though I don't take myself too serious.

[Sheila Marie]

I agree with you 100%. I think it's a life hack.

[Blake Newby]

I really don't like. I don't take myself too seriously. I will rag on myself. I'll joke about myself. I'm very Self aware. So I'm like, you can't tell me the closure didn't look good. I knew it didn't look good when I got on camera that day, and I just simply decided to get on camera that day.

[Sheila Marie]

So have you seen recently the Wall Street Journal reporter and the wig, the whole debacle? I feel so bad for her. My goodness. I'm like, listen, we are all working through our personal styles. Some of us are doing it in front of people. Like, go easy on her.

[Blake Newby]

I will have to say the wig blindness, it is a little jarring.

[Sheila Marie]

It was a thing. It was.

[Blake Newby]

It was a thing.

[Sheila Marie]

It was sitting.

[Blake Newby]

But I do agree. I do agree. Look, she trusted that her wig looked good.

[Sheila Marie]

Good night.

[Blake Newby]

We gotta pull this all back. We gotta draw this all back in.

[Sheila Marie]

Somehow, bring it back in, loop it back together.

[Blake Newby]

Somehow in that moment, she thought that wig looked good.

[Sheila Marie]

That's a fact.

[Blake Newby]

And she was corrected. And it's the same thing. I posted things, and girls are like, hey, Blake, I see this. Like, you could do this or, like, adjust this. And yes, it got a lot more traction than my early TikTok videos where I. You know.

[Sheila Marie]

But you know what it makes me think of that, like, new, that song, children's song. It's like going on a bear hunt. It's like, you can't go over it. Can't go over it. You gotta go through it.

[Blake Newby]

You gotta go through it.

[Sheila Marie]

And I feel that, like, I guess in terms of finding your purpose is that you have to just.

[Blake Newby]

You have to go through it. You know, the perfect example of that. We bullied Doja Cat into goodwig.

[Sheila Marie]

We did. We did. Doja has been through the fire. That hair.

[Blake Newby]

I ain't never seen that hair look bad since.

[Sheila Marie]

Not never. It looks funny.

[Blake Newby]

And her wigs, they might not have been down as far, but they were sure thicker than that girl's wigs were. They were full helmets.

[Sheila Marie]

I love Dojo.

[Blake Newby]

She came around.

[Sheila Marie]

She sure did.

[Blake Newby]

But do you get what I'm saying? That's a girl who really don't take.

[Sheila Marie]

Herself too serious at all. At all. So you really just have to go through it. You have to go through. And trust, like you said, trust that you will have the skills and the tools. Tools to deal with criticism, with feedback. And that you will be all right at the end of the day. Right?

[Blake Newby]

Yeah.

[Sheila Marie]

Okay. So I have a question. What do you think about this? This line of thought that's like, if it's your purpose, it will feel easy?

[Blake Newby]

Absolutely not. This is the hardest thing I've ever done ever, really ever. From so many different ways. I will say it is. It is the hardest but the most rewarding stage in my life that I've ever been in.

[Sheila Marie]

What is particularly hard?

[Blake Newby]

I think. I think when you want something so bad and it's not coming as fast as you want it, the waiting game of it all. And that's in anything but the waiting game of it all. I think when we're speaking, you know, more from just a logical perspective financially, like, I work on net 30s, I work on net. Like, I have to chase people down for money. Like, I have to pay for insurance. Like, that is not fun. Like, a lot of money has to come out of my pocket to pour. Like, my money constantly is funneling again back into the brand. Because it's always like the outfits, the hair, the makeup. Like you said, it all has to sustain. It takes money. It takes all of those things. And I think it is. Like I said, I just. I want it so, so bad. And when you are. When you feel you're on the cusp of it, too, it. When you feel you're on the cusp of what? Not the purpose. Cause I feel like I'm living in my purpose. But when you feel like you're on the cusp of what the next stage of your purpose is and it's not there yet, it can be really frustrating. I have moments all the time. And it's so interesting because last year, everybody was like, blake, like, this is the busiest I've ever seen you. This has truly been the best year of your career. But it didn't feel that way to me because I wasn't where I want it to be. So it's like, yes. Was it the best show I've ever had? Career wise, sure. But it still wasn't enough. So I think, too, when you're living in your purpose, which can get difficult, you always want more. Like, you always. And so I.

[Sheila Marie]

So how do you combat that? How does it not become just like a hamster wheel or, you know, just keep going and going? Oasis in the desert.

[Blake Newby]

I've tried to prioritize being still in the in between more. Yeah, I forgot. I'm blanking on his name. It's been a long day from Abbott Elementary. I love him. And everybody hates Chris Tyler.

[Sheila Marie]

Oh, I know who you're talking about.

[Blake Newby]

Yes.

[Sheila Marie]

Yes. Well, I'm sorry.

[Blake Newby]

He spoke at Culture Con, and he said everybody is always looking towards the end goal. Everybody's goal is the end goal. And he was like. But there will come a day where you can't make the mistakes that you can now. There will come a day where you can't afford to, you know, mess up the way that you can now. You can't afford to say things now that you could, you know. And so I'm trying to understand that, like, this is a period where.

[Sheila Marie]

The.

[Blake Newby]

Stakes are only gonna get higher, which means the pressure is always gonna get higher. So I'm trying now to just like enjoy the in betweens of normalcy and quiet and all of those things. And it's not easy, you know, like ambitious black women. It's a never ending. I don't think we ever truly are satisfied. So for me it is just taking out small moments to just be like, okay, yeah.

[Sheila Marie]

Cause there might be a moment down the line where you look back at this moment and be like, dang, I wish I could just what I would get right to be back at that spot. And not that it's bad, but yeah, you're right that we sometimes are living in our answered prayers and don't even know it or realize it. And so yeah, we talk about that on this podcast a lot. How important it is to be reminded of how you feel in your body and actually sit with that. And that is like the greatest experience. Because sometimes you're like, I want success, I want success. But what, how will you even know if. When you get there, what will, what will the markers be? Will they be like a big flag for you or like a finish sign or like what? You know, we have to know it.

[Blake Newby]

In our body love to shift the goalposts, right?

[Sheila Marie]

No, no, no. I need to get this. Then I need to get.

[Blake Newby]

Then I need to get this. And so it's like we're constantly creating new ceilings, correct? So and so, yeah.

[Sheila Marie]

I have a question. Do you think that there's a myth about living a purpose driven life that you want to just dead right now?

[Blake Newby]

I don't think that a purpose driven life is necessarily a lucrative life.

[Sheila Marie]

Ooh, you've read my mind. I was literally going to ask you that.

[Blake Newby]

I don't necessarily think that to be living in your purpose means that you are making a shit ton of money. I think capitalism has morphed, warped our minds into thinking such things. And now I want to be clear. I thank God that my purpose does pay my bills.

[Sheila Marie]

Absolutely.

[Blake Newby]

But I think that there are some purposes that are much more noble and much less about what it does for the economy. And what? Like there are some people whose purpose is just to pour into others and just. And oftentimes that's thankless. I mean, we look at teachers like, let me tell you something. You cannot. I know they don't get paid, but you cannot pay me to be a teacher. No way.

[Sheila Marie]

That's too much like what.

[Blake Newby]

You get what I'm saying? But like, I think some people, that is some people's purpose is to teach.

[Sheila Marie]

So a purpose doesn't necessarily have to be your career.

[Blake Newby]

It does not.

[Sheila Marie]

Okay.

[Blake Newby]

It does not. And I think the two can live. But I think again, it's hard to conflate. Hard not to conflate the two. And I do believe that my purpose. I think that my purpose is intertwined with my career. But I definitely do not believe that that is the case for everybody.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah, I actually think it's kind of liberating in a sense for your purpose not to be tied to finances. Cause it gives you a whole nother freedom. It's just. Cause we live under late stage capitalism. When you put like, this has to pay my bills. It becomes. It morphs into a different thing and maybe is a. Yeah, sometimes it'll go ahead.

[Blake Newby]

It's less fun.

[Sheila Marie]

Yes, I have fun.

[Blake Newby]

Don't get me wrong. I really, really enjoy this space. But it is like you said, when your purpose or with anything, when you monetize a hobby, when you. I used to love posting on social media till I started getting paid for it.

[Sheila Marie]

Right, right. Now comes the pressure now. Yes, I know. I feel you same. I'm doing as the kids do on TikTok, like they do.

[Blake Newby]

They do all the time. I was like, I interviewed Halle Bailey and I did her cover story for essence. That was the last.

[Sheila Marie]

No big deal.

[Blake Newby]

I love her. And she was talking about how I was like, what's your end goal? She was like, I want to live on a farm and have a family. And I was like, this girl has the world at her fingertips. Why? At the time, I was like, why would she want to move to a farm?

[Sheila Marie]

Until SZA said that too.

[Blake Newby]

Until your life is run by a phone and technology. I too want to move to a farm. Correct. And I get what she's saying. Like, her life is so driven by outside opinions. Outside, like I can only imagine.

[Sheila Marie]

And so like, let's say there's somebody listening right now. And she's like, yeah, I hate my job. I am not happy in my job, but I'm really scared to pivot. What advice would you give her?

[Jorge Gaviria]

Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck.

[Sheila Marie]

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

[Jorge Gaviria]

With family, cannolis and spins mean everything.

[Blake Newby]

Now you want to get mixed up.

[Sheila Marie]

In the family business.

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[Sheila Marie]

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[Blake Newby]

Geico's motorcycle expertise gives me the coverage I need like 24.

[Sheila Marie]

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[Jorge Gaviria]

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[Sheila Marie]

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[Jorge Gaviria]

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[Sheila Marie]

Expertise means I'm covered by people who.

[Blake Newby]

Know bikes like I do.

[Sheila Marie]

I'm happy as a clam.

[Jorge Gaviria]

No conclusive scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness.

[Sheila Marie]

I just meant that I feel really.

[Jorge Gaviria]

Good about my coverage. I mean, even if you took the clam out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing your insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy.

[Blake Newby]

Ew.

[Jorge Gaviria]

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[Blake Newby]

All pivots are not 180 and that is what I've had to tell people. I think especially social media has tried to perpetuate this notion that the pivot is you automatically jump to exactly where you want to be and what you want to be doing. And so I think that some people forget, especially I get this question all the time. They're like, you know, you just left editorial and immediately were independent. That's actually not what I did. That is not what I did. I took another full time job. I worked in beauty venture capital and I just took a job that, for example, an editorial. I've spoken about this before. They don't really allow you to do brand partnerships. So that was one of the biggest reasons why I left. Cause I was getting all of these opportunities that I was not allowed to do, and I wanted to jump. Did I wanna just jump? Yeah, sure. But financially at the time, it truly would not have made sense. And it would've put me in a really precarious situation. So I took this job at this VC fund where I didn't have a non compete for brand partnerships. I was able to work fully remote. I therefore wouldn't have the burden of having to be a brand events on behalf of a magazine all day long. And so it just provided me more. More freedom. And so when women and men come up to me and they're like, you know, I really just want to jump and do what you're doing. Sometimes it's 45 degrees, then it'll be a little 30, then it'll be a 20. And somehow then it all adds up to 180. And you are on the side that you want to be on. So you're like. They're like, I want to. Sometimes it's not as simple as just jumping jump to something that y'all. In this economy, we have to pay bills. Listen, I don't suggest anybody up and quit their job right now without a second job right now. I just personally don't. I personally don't. I was looking at this. This girl I know, she's a handbag designer and she had posted. People were like, what do you love most about being an entrepreneur? And she was like, actually, don't suggest that anybody be an entrepreneur. Keep that nine to five.

[Sheila Marie]

Like, honestly, it's not.

[Blake Newby]

You get what I'm saying? So it's like, for the girls that really want to jump or leave their job, think about maybe finding a job that just allows you more freedom to develop your passions. Because that's what I also realized is had I jumped straight from that to that, my passions and my plan was not fully, you know, thought out, it would not have been as seamless as it was had I gone.

[Sheila Marie]

Right. So maybe she doesn't need to leave the whole industry. Maybe she just needs to leave that particular job before she can leave the whole industry.

[Blake Newby]

Yes. Because I think what people. What I don't ever negate is when people are like, blake, I don't have any time having this job. I have no time to pour into my passion for what I want to do. And I get that too. So then again, find maybe a job that will allow you the time, like, or you, you know, so it all takes sacrifice.

[Sheila Marie]

Do you feel like we subscribe to any big lies about success?

[Blake Newby]

That it's entrepreneurship?

[Sheila Marie]

Ah, yes. That's a big thought that's shared with a lot of people that like, yeah, build your own, be your own CEO. It's so glamorized.

[Blake Newby]

I joke all the time. I'm like, we need less T shirt designers. We need more dentists. But it's not really a joke. I'm serious.

[Sheila Marie]

I wanna know with the generation under us, how we were just talking about how teenagers all wanna be content creators. I'm like, y'all, who's gonna be the plumbers? Who's gonna fit y'all H Vac.

[Blake Newby]

But that's not glamorous to them. That's not sexy. Like, I was having a conversation with somebody and I was like, you do know that, like master plumbers and master electricians make well into the six figures a year.

[Sheila Marie]

Oh, yeah.

[Blake Newby]

What? What? What? What? Y'all all wanna be Kai Sanat, but we keep referencing Kai Sanat. Why? Because there's. And I'm not saying that it's not possible, but I just think as we. Especially now, I'm seeing so many capital. I saw this and I was like, I like that. Capitalist. Capitalist.

[Sheila Marie]

Where did. Did that just go viral? How did I hear that? Yeah, Twitter. Yeah, that's right.

[Blake Newby]

I was like, that was no capital. Who are capitalists?

[Sheila Marie]

Because everybody is in their imagination, going to be a billionaire soon. And it's like, you're closer to being homeless than you are being a billionaire.

[Blake Newby]

All of us.

[Sheila Marie]

And let's. All of us. All of us. Me included. Me included. So, like, let's all get together and have some class solidarity here. But it's just, I feel like they've just brainwashed us to believe, like, we're all. We can all be billionaires. And I think a lot of us see content creation or like younger, younger than us, I think just get, you know, stars in their eyes, like, this is the way. Because I honestly am so glad that I did not grow up with social media. Like, I look at, I. I have a bonus daughter who's. Who lives with me. She's 13. And we're very mindful about what she looks at because can you imagine being 13 and looking at a 13 year old whose mom spent $10,000 on their 8th grade dance and they got bust down 30 inches and like, you know what I mean?

[Blake Newby]

It's all a lot. I don't know if you saw those girls. Kylan. Kylan Darnell. She went viral. During bama rush, she was one of the girls.

[Sheila Marie]

I love Bama Rush. It's so she's one of the girls.

[Blake Newby]

Who viral maybe two years, two or three years ago during bama rush for Christmas. Her and her sister do this Christmas haul. Is it the dhgate we got for Christmas?

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah. Okay, go ahead, Go ahead, keep telling the story.

[Blake Newby]

They got six mini Kellys and three Chanels. All of it was fake, so. Fake to the point that, like, it was identifiably fake. Through a phone. Like, you could see it through a phone. These are bad fakes. To the point that Kylan and her sister had to get on TikTok. Like, yeah. So we thought, no, you got on here and told us that you had a mini Kelly six.

[Sheila Marie]

Which I'm like, that's a lot of money. Like, wait a second, six mini Kellys.

[Blake Newby]

We're looking at bare minimum 125 GS for six minute Kellys. Yeah, at bare minimum. That's low. That's low level. And y'all thought that this is so. It is. It's all this fake thing. So that is the biggest lie told is that we should all be entrepreneurs and that entrepreneurship looks like we're immediately buying g wagons and burdens.

[Sheila Marie]

So how do you stay on your personal. How can we stay on our, like, personal path when we're. We're living in the most hyper visible time ever? We're constantly bombarded with what other people are doing and advice and this and that. So how do we, like, stay on our path?

[Blake Newby]

I take a lot of quiet time now, and this is new. I take a lot of quiet time. My friends are always like, blake, you're always going to the bathroom. And I'm like, no, sometimes I get overstimulated and I just wanna go in there and breathe and take a second. And there's just. I feel like we are constant. Everything is thrown at us all the time. All the time. And I think for me, as someone who it is my job to always be on. Like, that is. It is my job to be on. And so I used to be an extrovert. Like that is now I'm like an introverted extrovert. Like, I hate because it's like, it's my job. It's the same thing. Like we said. Once you monetize it, you're like, this is a lot. But I think that the noise, it's like, I just combat that with no noise. I will sit in my house. It's interesting. People always like, you can shower in silence. People that like all my friends are like, I have to listen to music or I have to drive in the car with music. I can sit in silence. Silence. Dead silence. I drive because I live right outside the city now. I drive to the city in silence. I am around my house often in silence.

[Sheila Marie]

Is this by accident or this is like purposeful, like you're making my body.

[Blake Newby]

Started just desiring it. And so suddenly it was like I was having these moments of silence which don't come often.

[Sheila Marie]

Okay.

[Blake Newby]

And I was like this feels good and I feel clear and I can hear my hear my own thoughts. And I can. So silence has been my biggest thing. But I think on the flip side of that, you do have to enjoy your own thoughts, which a lot of people don't like. Or be comfortable with your own thoughts.

[Sheila Marie]

Or even acknowledge them.

[Blake Newby]

Or acknowledge them that they hear them.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah.

[Blake Newby]

And so I take a lot of time to just be with self now.

[Sheila Marie]

Okay.

[Blake Newby]

A lot of time.

[Sheila Marie]

When was like the last time you felt completely out of alignment and how did you course correct that moment?

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[Blake Newby]

Geico's motorcycle expertise gives me the coverage I need. Like 24.

[Sheila Marie]

7 claims I'm on cloud nine.

[Jorge Gaviria]

Disclaimer Clouds are wholly unable to support the weight of an adult human.

[Sheila Marie]

What's happening?

[Jorge Gaviria]

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[Blake Newby]

Auto parts completely out of alignment.

[Sheila Marie]

Maybe you didn't. Maybe you never felt.

[Blake Newby]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. I'm just trying to decide, honey.

[Sheila Marie]

Oh, no, no.

[Blake Newby]

I'm just trying to decide what you want. I've got something. Oh, no. I would say, I think now. I think. And I've been very honest about this, like, the past few months with what is happening in this country has in many ways. I can feel it turning me into a shell of myself. Oh, I'm very empathetic. And as black women, we can't afford to not pay attention to politics. I just think that we can't afford to. Like, we just. We simply can't afford to. And so I think that for somebody like me who is like, a very optimistic person and for everything that is happening right now to be happening, it's really throwing me out of alignment. I was thinking about it on a silent ride to the city today, and I was like. I just started saying things I was grateful for because I feel like with everything that's happening right now and so much when bad things are happening, so many bad things are happening to so many people, you can feel almost like survivor's remorse, and so you don't sit with the good things that are happening to you. And I feel like it's been so long since I sat with the positive things that are happening to me because all I can think about is the larger things that are happening right now in this country, in this world. So I feel out of alignment right now. But I think what I really have spent the past two to three years doing is like, creating a toolkit for when I'm out of alignment that I can tap into to get me back on track. And it's not a one size fits all thing, but it's like, I think now versus then I can quickly identify when I'm out of alignment so that I can immediately try to course correct.

[Sheila Marie]

How do you know when you're out of alignment?

[Blake Newby]

I can feel it. Like, I can feel it in my body. I can. Like, it shows everywhere. So I'm obsessed with this aura ring. It runs my life.

[Sheila Marie]

You are the second guest on the podcast to have said that. That it's part of her practice.

[Blake Newby]

Oh, it runs my life.

[Sheila Marie]

What does the aura ring do again?

[Blake Newby]

It basically.

[Sheila Marie]

You're not paying me.

[Blake Newby]

Hell, no.

[Sheila Marie]

No. I'm just saying.

[Blake Newby]

Never mind.

[Sheila Marie]

Can I say all this? I'm just cute.

[Blake Newby]

No, but you're right. They're not banging. So what I will Say is this. It tells me my stress levels are higher. It can read when you're stressed.

[Sheila Marie]

I'm getting.

[Blake Newby]

My stress levels are higher. My readiness. So you get a sleep score, but then you get a readiness score. I'll have good sleep and really bad readiness because my heart rate is higher than it usually is, or my. Which is often caused by stress. All of these things. So I can feel it in my body because it'll be like. Like I'm getting all this sleep, but I'm still tired. Right. I'm. I feel like I'm constantly burnt out. All of those things. So those are usually the ways by which I can feel it. And I think. And those around me. Well, my parents, they can feel it too. Like, I think it just. I'm just not myself.

[Sheila Marie]

Wow. Wow. I. Yes. I have to get that to monitor because sometimes I'm like, I got. Got a great number of hours of sleep. What's going on? Why do I feel tired?

[Blake Newby]

You're tired.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah. The stress levels.

[Blake Newby]

And then your stress. But your stress levels will be, like, out of this world.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah. I mean, are in all of ours right now. Do you think that there's any way that the pressure to, like, live in your purpose has become just another form of a hustle culture?

[Blake Newby]

Yes.

[Sheila Marie]

Really?

[Blake Newby]

I feel like that goes back to what we had just said. I think especially for black women, because I think that for us so often, yes, we have purpose, but then we were so caught up in making sure that everybody else is okay too. So it just becomes this, like, never ending cycle of, like, okay, so I have to work and I have to do this, and I have to get this done and I have to do this. Oh, wait. But then on the flip side of that, I have to take care of everybody around me and make sure that they're good and make sure that they're safe. So it's like, I think oftentimes what comes with that is we hustle a lot to distract ourselves. Like, a lot of times when I'm like, in full gear, like, and that's another thing. I can tell too, when I'm like, in full gear, in full mode, I'm like, oh, you're trying to distract yourself from something.

[Sheila Marie]

Hmm. Okay. Coping mechanisms have entered the chat period.

[Blake Newby]

Even right now, it's like. Like I said, right now I'm feeling out of whack. Like, let's work. Let's work every single day. Let's just distract ourselves from.

[Sheila Marie]

I mean, it's not the worst destruction.

[Blake Newby]

It's not the Worst. Not the worst things I could be doing right now.

[Sheila Marie]

I agree with that.

[Blake Newby]

But it is. It's hustle cult. And I think sometimes we conflate that with. Not even conflate. I guess because mine is purpose, then it creates the hustle culture. Right. But like, yeah, it just becomes this never ending cycle.

[Sheila Marie]

Do you think that there's a difference between purpose and passion?

[Blake Newby]

Yes. There are a lot of things that I'm passionate about that are not my purpose or that I'm not like, yeah, that aren't my purpose or that I don't like that I make no money off of. You know, like there are things that I'm really passionate about that I'm just passionate about. And that's it? Yeah, that's it. Like I. You don't monetize it any. None. None of that. And I think that's important too though, because I am just now at the phase where I really want to get hobby.

[Sheila Marie]

Yes.

[Blake Newby]

I don't have hobbies.

[Sheila Marie]

Oh, I know. Oh, it's great.

[Blake Newby]

And that's because I really want hobbies. And I think like, like things I'm passionate about. Like, I really, really love music. I love music. I would never want to work in music. I would never want to be a singer. None of those things. Like, I have zero desire, but I love music. I said that one of my hobbies, I was like, I really want to learn how to play the piano. That's not a purpose. Playing the piano is. Being a songwriter. Producer is absolutely not my purpose. I can say that beyond a shadow of a day. But I'm gonna learn how to play the piano. Cause I'm passionate about music. And I love, I've always loved how a piano sounds. Or like, you know, like, I really am passionate about Pilates. You will never see me shout out to you training anybody in anybody's gym. Cause like, no, like, whoa. I won't be teaching a class, but I just like it. And I think that's really important too. You need to have passions because. Because while oftentimes your purpose can feel heavy, I think probably more often than not your purpose can feel heavy. Passions, I don't think have to feel heavy.

[Sheila Marie]

Very true. And you know what I'm realizing as we're talking? That I made the mistake of conflating the two. In my early 20s, maybe even late teens, I thought, oh, I wanna be an actress. I wanna be an actress. I'm trained in the theater. I went to Tisch School of the Arts. I have all of this. I've Performed. I've done all the things. And then I realized I hate what it takes to be an actress. I don't like auditioning. I hate the schmoozing. I hate the ego tripping. I don't even like. Like, I don't like it, like, oath.

[Blake Newby]

Out to the acting girls.

[Sheila Marie]

No. I realize I'm much more. It's a passion. It doesn't need to be my, like. Yeah, I just love it. I talk about film and theater all day. I'll see all the things, dissecting them and going to the plays. But it wasn't a good experience for me in my mind or body or spirit, being an actress professionally. So I definitely get that. Let's talk about According to Blake.

[Blake Newby]

Yeah.

[Sheila Marie]

Congratulations, by the way.

[Blake Newby]

Thank you.

[Sheila Marie]

It is gorgeous.

[Blake Newby]

Thank you.

[Sheila Marie]

Where do you guys film, by the way?

[Blake Newby]

At WTF Studios in midtown.

[Sheila Marie]

Here in Atlanta?

[Blake Newby]

No, it's in New York.

[Sheila Marie]

New York. New York. Oh, okay. Okay. I was like, wait, okay. That's right. You're in New York.

[Blake Newby]

Yes, it's in New York. I love it. According to Blake, and I think you're.

[Sheila Marie]

Gearing up for your second season.

[Blake Newby]

Gearing up for my second season.

[Sheila Marie]

What do you feel like listeners can expect from season two that's different from season one?

[Blake Newby]

I think it's gonna be a lot more intentional conversations. Um, I think that you'll be able to see that I. I found my groove in it more. Um, but I think what's interesting about According to Blake is it's okay for some things to be for the time being. And I hate to say this for people who love According to Blake. According to Blake, for me, has always been a means to an end. Always. While I love storytelling and telling stories, According to Blake was born because I hated my agents. They weren't getting me anything, and I said, well, I need to create a platform where I can talk and where people can see me interviewing and what I can do and how I can.

[Sheila Marie]

Proof of concept.

[Blake Newby]

Proof of concept.

[Sheila Marie]

Yeah.

[Blake Newby]

And I think that goes back to the passions and things like that. It's like something you treat as just the job, you know? Like, I am passionate about talking to people. I'm passionate about platforming the right people. I'm not passionate about podcasting. And so it's interesting when just the job and the passions come together for a greater purpose. And so I think that that's a good example of when, like, the passion is not your purpose.

[Sheila Marie]

So are you saying this is your last season?

[Blake Newby]

No, it's not my last season.

[Sheila Marie]

Okay. Okay.

[Blake Newby]

Don't say that. I'm here to let y'all know.

[Sheila Marie]

Ok. She's like, just so you know.

[Blake Newby]

I do think we need to defund men with mics. Men with mics. All of them like saying this. But what I am saying is the amount of respect that I've gained for podcasters through this process, this is not easy.

[Sheila Marie]

Right. And especially yours is in person. That's a whole nother layer.

[Blake Newby]

It's not cheap.

[Sheila Marie]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Blake Newby]

It. You know, I'm so used to, like, brand deals and things like that. I'm not monetized. So it's just taking money. I'm not. I make no money on. According to. So it really is like giving passion.

[Sheila Marie]

Project, like, another meaning, no money.

[Blake Newby]

Right. That's a whole nother meaning. You make no money. Well, you do, but it takes longer. Like, it's a. It's a slower burn. I have a lot of respect for it.

[Sheila Marie]

It takes a lot of courage to invest in yourself, in the way that you are, because you are. You're doing this now with the knowledge that I. This. Some. This will pay off. This will be a part of my resume moving forward or whatever. And I love that you have that courage in yourself. A lot of us, you know, we look up to women like you who are like, yeah, they just go for it. They believe it. You know, you trust Blake and you enough to invest in Blake.

[Blake Newby]

I trusted Blake, but if I knew how much this investment was going to be, I'm gonna tell Blake.

[Sheila Marie]

Blake didn't know.

[Blake Newby]

Slow down, girl. I'm like, it's a lot. It's a lot, a lot. But it is rewarding. Like, and I think I'm having important conversations and I'm talking to important people, so it makes it all worth it. But, yeah, I should have given it just a little more thought.

[Sheila Marie]

Just a little, right?

[Blake Newby]

Just a little more thought.

[Sheila Marie]

Okay, so now we are at the toolkit part of the interview, and this is where we just leave. Ladies, they have a little unruly toolkit. Every interview, we drop another tool in there. Is there any final words or affirmations or tool that you want to leave in there? When it comes to women finding and staying in their purpose, you.

[Blake Newby]

I wish that. I guess people did tell me, but I wish I didn't minimize the importance of trusting my own voice. I think I've spent so much time seeking answers from other people, seeking validation from other people, seeking answers from other people when oftentimes the answers were right in front of me, were Already in my intuition, like, and so if I could give women anything, and I'm still working on it, too, practice day by day. Trusting the voice, trusting your intuition, tapping into your intuition. Which is why I think it is so important to be in silence with yourself. Because I think you start to be able to discern when it's negative talk and negative self talk that you don't need to listen to and your true intuition. Cause the two are often confused. So I would say I know that we. It might sound cliche, but take alone time to evaluate the things that you want, the things that you need, the things that your stomach and gut are telling you. Because I think that if I would have trusted my gut and my instincts more, it might look like it was seamless, because I was not going to post when it wasn't seamless. I think it would have been more seamless in real life if I would have trusted Blake more.

[Sheila Marie]

Trust yourself.

[Blake Newby]

Trust yourself.

[Sheila Marie]

I love that. That was such a weird cliche, but it's true. It is true. It's so true. Some cliches are just true.

[Blake Newby]

You have to trust yourself.

[Sheila Marie]

Absolutely. Did you hear that? You have to trust yourself. Okay. I feel like I just got a masterclass in alignment and purpose. Blake, I love how you just kept it real about your journey. And not just like the shiny moments, but the challenges too. And thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. We're honored to have you. Thank you for sharing your story and your gems with us. Where can people find you?

[Blake Newby]

So I am on Instagram and TikTok. Instagram is Blake Lauren, but the Lauren is with a W. TikTok. If you just search Blake Newby. I'm right there. And according to Blake is on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Apple podcasts, Spotify, any place you listen to podcasts. And season two will be out the third week of March.

[Sheila Marie]

Yay. Congrats in advance. I'll be tuned in.

[Blake Newby]

You need to come to New York.

[Sheila Marie]

Listen, Blake, if you're willing to have me on, I'll be there.

[Blake Newby]

Oh, absolutely. You need to come to New York.

[Sheila Marie]

All right, Sirod, you heard that? We're gonna make it happen.

[Blake Newby]

We're going to New York.

[Sheila Marie]

All right. Yay. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Unruly Blake. Thank you for sharing the gems with us. Please share, subscribe, do all the things so we can keep this unruly movement going. And until next time, I'm Sheila Marie. If you have something on your mind, a question or something you want me to answer, just send in a voice [e-mail] unruly I can't wait to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. Be sure to follow or subscribe so you never ever, ever ever miss an episode of Unruly.

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[Sheila Marie]

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