← UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
25: Life is a Game: Bend Time and Break the Rules To Succeed ft. Pea The Fury
00:55:50
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- [00:00]
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- [01:00]
Sheila Marie
Welcome to Unruly. I'm your host, Sheila Marie. I'm an author, a fierce advocate for black women, and the founder of the curvy curly conscious movement in this space. I'm sharing what I've learned on my own journey while sitting down with some amazing women who are all navigating their own paths to healing. Because there's no better time than now to get a little unruly. All right, y'all, buckle up. Welcome back to Unruly. And this today's episode is going to be a ride, okay? Because we're talking about power. Real, undeniable world shifting power. Not the kind that's handed to you or the kind that you have to chase down, okay? We're talking about the kind that comes from within. The kind that black women especially have been taught to suppress, to ignore, or to trade for someone else's definition of success. And to help us unpack all of this, we have none other than P. The Fury. An artist, an energetic strategist, and someone who is absolutely rewriting the rules of when it comes down to how we create, how we succeed and how we exist in the world. She helps visionaries tap into their own blueprint for success. Okay, this is it, y'all. One that's rooted in pleasure, beauty and radical self trust. So let's get into it. How do we shift our power from chasing to creating? How do we start to see our dreams as inevitable rather than impossible? And what myths do we need to let go of in order to step into our full potential? Get seated. Get your journals. You know, get. Send this to a friend right now. Cause I know this episode is gonna be so beneficial for everyone that hears it. I love it. And thank you so much, P, for being with us. Welcome to Unruly.
- [02:48]
P. The Fury
Hi. Welcome. I just. I just want to say I feel so excited and I feel so ready and open, and your energy is really inviting. I just want to express that to you. I feel really comfortable.
- [03:00]
Sheila Marie
You know what? The funny thing is, in doing research about you to prepare for this, I was like, I felt such a sense of ease. It's interesting. I just. I don't know what that is. And I just was. I just felt like this episode is going to be great. I'm so excited to talk to you, and I love the ease, and I wonder if that'll come up later. There's something about the synergy here. So if you're listening, listening. I am hoping that you get some of that ease that we're experiencing here, too. So I want to start by asking you a little icebreaker question. You talk a lot about beliefs and success and what that means and how do we shift them? Which ones do we reject? Which ones do we accept? So for you, what's a belief that you used to have about success that now makes you laugh when you think about it?
- [03:44]
P. The Fury
Oh, wow, that's yummy. Let's steal into that. Oh, okay. So I'd say that I definitely used to render material gain as much more of a measure of success than I do now. Whether the material gain be like eyes on you in social media, money, knowing certain people, a part of me felt like, oh, that equals what success is. People who have those things, they are the ones who are successful. And that doesn't feel true, does not feel true. To me. Success is a felt experience first and foremost. As a result, material things are often reflected, but it's absolutely a felt experience first and foremost. At least for me. That's. That's where I'm at.
- [04:48]
Sheila Marie
I love that success is a felt experience. I can't wait to dive in more into that. And so what is, like one cheat code for life that you wish more people knew about?
- [05:00]
P. The Fury
Perspective is literally everything. We are living in different worlds, and we think that it is distance that might be separating us. Our physical form. Like, yes, that's technically separating us. But what creates different worlds from. From the person sitting next to you to you is the perspective that you're having on the world that's happening in front of you. And your perspective is literally creating your experience. It. It's deciding your experience. You are living in the perception that you had a minute ago and a minute ago and a minute ago. That's that's always happening. You're. You're always creating a world. And I think that that's. Perspective is everything.
- [05:45]
Sheila Marie
Perspective is everything. My mind is. When you talk, my brain is just firing. I have so many things like, wait, what about this? What about this? I gotta stay on my script, y'all. I love it. So let's talk about you for a second. Let's anchor this and where you come from. You describe yourself as an energetic strategist. What does that mean, and how did you land on this path?
- [06:07]
P. The Fury
Mm, I. The way that that came to be. I'm someone. I just. I study energy, I recognize patterns. I also. I've been diagnosed with adhd, and that comes with pattern recognition, and I've been recognizing patterns since I was a child. And I've always loved the energy of things. I'm a Scorpio. I'm a Scorpio. Sun, Mercury, Venus. What else? There's another one. I have, like, four signs in Scorpio. So I've always been watching. I've always been looking. I've always been watching how energy moves around. And I'm also very analytical, and so I would notice that, like, when energy moves like this, this happens. Or when something moves like this, this has to go like this. Like, I would watch energy movement, and it often mirrors physics, and so I would just see patterns and things. I'm like, oh, there's. There's. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on here to watch. And I would start applying this wisdom and this knowledge to my experience and then see my physical reality change as a result. And I'm like, that is funny. There's something to play with here. And so I like to strategically move energy around. I feel like that is the best way I can describe energetic strategist. When I, I. I saw the word strategist somewhere and I liked it so much, I'm like, that's. That's. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. And I love energy. Energetic strategist.
- [07:42]
Sheila Marie
When was the first time in your life where you feel that you moved energies around and it showed up in your third dimensional?
- [07:49]
P. The Fury
Ooh, the first time where you were.
- [07:55]
Sheila Marie
Like, oh, wait a minute. This actually works. I worked around in some energy, and I looked around in my real third dimensional life that I'm experiencing right now, and here it is.
- [08:05]
P. The Fury
I am going to say the most, like, stark example of it for me was 2017. And the reason I want to say then is because, I mean, I've probably been doing It. Because we were all doing it all the time. But the reason I want to say then is because I read this book called Think and Grow Rich, which it was kind of boring at the time. However, when I first read it, I was like, oh, this is. It's. This is saying a thing I've been understanding that I didn't know how to explain with words. And so I started experimenting. And I used to work. I think. I don't think I had an NDA. I used to work for Apple. I used to work for just Apple Retail. And before I read this book, I was going through several experiences not having. Not having the greatest time. I transferred locations to Lenox Mall in Atlanta. Anyone who's in Atlanta, you know Lennox.
- [08:57]
Sheila Marie
Oh, Lord, I avoid Lennox like the.
- [08:59]
P. The Fury
Plague if I used to work there seven, seven days a week. But I started applying some of these principles around, like, positive thinking and like, my perception of myself, my perception of others. I started playing with that. And there's something. I don't know if I should use the exact terms, but there's something in Apple where when you work for them, you can kind of measure your quality of connections with others. And mine had been consistently not great at the previous location that I was at. And I started applying these principles because I just. I went through an experience, kind of flipped a switch in my life, moved locations, and I started applying these things. And the score that I had was at. At its fullest. It was at like a hundred percent for the. In, like, the entire time that I worked there. Suddenly, like, it. It happened so quickly. It. And I. It's so funny because I would go into interactions with people and I could feel me. It feels like manipulation, but it's not quite manipulation. But I could move their energy and like, it was always to their benefit. That's. I. I definitely believe in. I don't believe in taking away anyone's, like, power or, or their decisions, but always to their benefit. I could have a conversation with pretty much anyone and it would. It would be mutually delicious. Like, we just have a great time. I was having a great time with the people who I worked with.
- [10:29]
Sheila Marie
Like, can I ask you a question really quick?
- [10:32]
P. The Fury
Yes.
- [10:32]
Sheila Marie
How do you. How did you move around the energy? Is this something you see or you're like, in your third eye or feeling.
- [10:39]
P. The Fury
Seeing. I'd say I'll talk about felt because that's probably the easiest to explain when someone would come in and I would have a conversation with them. Normally what I would do before, when I was working previously is I would follow, like, the rules of my company and like, this is how you talk to a customer. This is how you talk to a client and get them to do da, da, da. I ignored that. When I started using energy, I was like, that doesn't matter. What I'm going to do is feel into my desire. What do I want right now? And I would tap into my body. My body would sensationally kind of let me know what it needed. And it would always be slightly different, kind of depending on who I was talking to. But I would really like, okay, we want to feel a bit more. I want to feel like a bit more in love right now. I would love to feel love in my body, and I would just turn that up. I would let that come out of my body. And then the experiences I would have with people were miraculous and strange and, like, just wild. I would meet the. The. The craziest people. It was back to, like, for a full year, I'm working at. At this store, having these wild experiences with people. But I'll tune into that feeling of love. The. The client or the customer, they would reflect that back to me. It would just feel like this, like, juicy back and forth of energy that would happen, and it would happen all the time. And it never felt the same exactly. But there was always this, like, energetic harmony that was happening when I would interact with people, and it was really, really beautiful. And then I would look at my. My scores and I just. I would check every day. I'm like, it has to change at some point.
- [12:16]
Sheila Marie
Like, so these scores are like, scores, like your customer service score, essentially.
- [12:21]
P. The Fury
Okay, my customer service scores were great. Like, my sales were great. My, like, all of my. All of my scores were just fantastic The. The entire time. But I never felt like, at least that year, and I'll get into what happened after. But that year, I never felt exhausted by it. It just felt like this dance that was happening. I would make sure that I was going into work with, like, a high vibration. At the time. I was a little attached to high vibrations and positivity. And I feel like I've learned a bit more about playing with that. Actually. Stop. I've learned a bit more about playing with that. But I was just really into having a high vibe. And it did benefit me. Until it didn't. I got exhausted. I got tired. At some point, I'm like, life is not actually all positive all the time.
- [13:07]
Sheila Marie
I actually can't toxic positivity a thing.
- [13:11]
P. The Fury
I was in the. I realized how beneficial it was to be positive. And I think the fear of what happens when I was negative kind of took over a bit and I was kind of like dodging negativity and that, that caught up with me. But I did get to see the benefit of being in a positive space and how that changed my interactions with my, my customers, how it changed my interaction with the people that I was meeting, my managers, my, like my. Because at the time, like work was my life, I didn't really have anything else to look at, but it, it changed my work experience drastically. Like it was like a 180 for me.
- [13:52]
Sheila Marie
The beautiful thing about what you just said is it reminds me of this quote that I heard that said, like, the good news is all the love you've been trying to give to other people came from you. And so I, I only imagine how powerful it make can make you feel to know that all of these beautiful interactions that you wanted to have with people were actually coming from you. It's almost like you were creating them, which I think is really beautiful. And, and so was there like a specific moment in your life where you realized, oh, I can't define success by the way the world defines success. The way I have to define success for myself needs to look different.
- [14:30]
P. The Fury
Hmm. I don't know if I would say it's a distinct moment, but I, I do feel that I, I have clarity around felt experiences mattering more than anything because that's the only thing that's real to an individual.
- [14:54]
Sheila Marie
And what is a felt experience?
- [14:56]
P. The Fury
Just your sensational experience. Anything that you're, that you are able to perceive within your yourself. It could be, it could be physical sensation, it could just be an emotional sensation, sensation moving through the body. But the, the thing, the, the thing that renders you real, the, the, the thing that makes you feel alive. The. You exist. You're having consciousness, conscious awareness of your existence. I think that's probably the best way to describe that.
- [15:33]
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- [16:00]
Sheila Marie
Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by people who know bikes like I do. I'm happy as a clam.
- [16:06]
Geico Representative
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- [16:09]
Sheila Marie
It just meant that I feel really.
- [16:11]
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- [16:11]
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- [16:31]
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- [16:58]
Sheila Marie
You know, I was again doing research and I was looking up and I saw a quote that you put on Instagram and I just thought this was so cool. And I was like, I have to ask her more about this. You said, I don't do this work because I'm altruistic or some sort of spiritual saint. I do it because it's fun. And I'm obsessed with the video game like, and experimental nature of life. The mechanics of the game are easy for me to see and I love talking about it and making money from that talent. I absolutely love that idea. One reason that I love that, especially for this podcast, is that we love tapping into joy and ways of fun and play with life because I think that we get caught up in like, the heart, hard work of it all. We're very comfortable with saying, I worked so hard, I earned something. It took this, I suffered. I think we got a real hold on that. I don't need to encourage my audience to work hard, but the encouraging them to play and to see the life as a game I think is very interesting and I'd love to hear more about that from you.
- [18:06]
P. The Fury
Yes. Okay. I was writing about this the other day where I'm like, I'm, I'm not a, like, I'm going to heal the world, Spiritualist. I'm a. We live in a simulation matrix and it bends with your awareness. Spiritualist.
- [18:21]
Sheila Marie
Bro, let me tell you how this is perfect because last night my bonus daughter wanted me so badly to watch Doctor Strange, the multiverse of madness and that entire. I loved. I love Doctor Strange. Shout out to Marvel my favorite Marvel characters like Black Panther and Doctor Strange. I love Doctor Strange because it's always about time shifting and bending realities and multiple cells. And I was watching it with her and I was like, this is so cool. And I'm talking to P tomorrow. This is gonna be great.
- [18:51]
P. The Fury
That's so funny. The Doctor Strange is so cool.
- [18:54]
Sheila Marie
It's so cool. So how do you play life like a game? Teach us, sister. We wanna know how. I wanna play.
- [19:01]
P. The Fury
Okay, well, I'd say the first. The first thing is acknowledging. Acknowledging play and play's role in your life. Like, you've played games, you've played games. If you are an adult now and you were a child at some point, you've played a game that's like. That's part of what living beings do, at least mammals. We play. There's a game that's happening. We naturally play. So the first is just acknowledging the fact that we do this thing. All the kids do it. We do this thing where we play and I wonder why all the kids play. So that's the first thing is understanding, like, our natural desire to play with things then. So I played. I don't know if you played this, but I played the Sims quite a lot.
- [19:56]
Sheila Marie
Oh, that's weird. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. I was literally going to say five seconds ago. Does this. Does this mean when I'm playing the Sims, I'm. I'm practicing for playing in life? Because I literally play this. That's my decompression. I love the Sims. Shout out to the Sims if you play the Sims. I need you to comment when I drop this on. On socials or you need to come write me and DM me. I'm using all the mods. My computer is like a fan and a helicopter fan because it's so much mods and custom content. So. But I. The reason I love the Sims, it's funny because I feel like you were going there. One reason why I love the Sims is I feel like it allows me to, like, practice with playing with life.
- [20:37]
P. The Fury
Yes. Yes. So that desire to play the Sims, like, I had a bit of an addiction to the Sims. I think I did, too.
- [20:47]
Sheila Marie
At some point.
- [20:49]
P. The Fury
I was a little obsessed every single time. Like, an expansion pack came out. Everything, I would think.
- [20:53]
Sheila Marie
I don't think that's a. That's by design. Shout out to ea. They know what they're doing.
- [20:57]
P. The Fury
Yeah, they did a great job with that dopamine addiction, but loved the Sims. And I realized I love the cause and effect and that's what I think is really beautiful about games is the cause and effect. You do something and then something happens as a result of you doing that thing. You press a button, the screen reacts to you pressing the button. That's the fun of the game, is that we can come in here and mess with things and then things happen as a result. That. That's like a broad generalization of the game. And when it came to Sims, I was like, when I decide to give my sim this personality, they have this kind of experience that's so interesting. And I feel like that kind of Sims game, and I used to play these things called MMORPGs online too, where you had like different classes and you could be like a mage or a. And the class that you chose or the character that you choose, it impacts the experience that you have when play the game. And so that is probably one of the biggest influences to like the. The work I do around identity. Now the character you're playing in the game decides how the game plays for you, how how the game unfolds. And so allowing your experience of yourself to be like a character that you are customizing that you're playing with. And when you press left, you go left, or when you press forward, you go forward. Like this kind of controlling the game, moving things around. That's. That is the. The beauty of the experience that seeing what happens when you do a thing is so. Is so fun, at least to me it is. And I feel like it's always been fun since I was a child. But it's. It's that feeling of I am doing something and a result might come of it. I don't exactly know what is going to happen, but let's see, let's see at the end of the game how this goes. Experimentation.
- [23:05]
Sheila Marie
So let's say, so you work with creatives and you help them magnetize success or move around energy in a way that benefits their success. So let's use me, right? I'm a creative, right? So I want to give you an issue that I'm. I'm working through. And what would you tell me? So I produce. One of the things that I do is I produce retreats for black women, right? And so what I'm struggling with now is like, inflation has like risen the cost of everything. People are feeling, like, the tightness, the fear and the insecurity around funds. And so I don't know how to continue to produce retreats where we can make it profitable. And I can also still meet my community where they're at. And so I'm just like, I don't know. Help. Help me, people.
- [23:53]
P. The Fury
Okay. Okay. So the first thing that I would be curious about is the core desire that you have.
- [24:04]
Sheila Marie
Literally the core desire is like, you see how you came on here and you're having fun. What we're talking about. So, by the way, speaking of play, that's what my thesis was when I was at Tisch School of the Arts was play. My whole thesis was on play. I love play. Shout out to Homo ludens. That's one of the canon texts around play. But I. So I want to create an experience where black women can have like an otherworldly moment where you can step into a world where you can play, where you don't feel judged, where you don't feel like, ooh, I gotta have the designer things, I gotta fit in. You know, sometimes the women empowerment spaces can be pretty mean, girlish and cliquish. And I'm very, very, very intentional about not being that. And so it's a very open minded. I just want you to get there and feel like, ooh, this is the world. I wish I could every day have fun, learn a little bit about yourself, connect with new people and be in a non judgmental space.
- [24:57]
P. The Fury
Okay.
- [24:57]
Sheila Marie
All right.
- [24:58]
P. The Fury
Okay. So first of all, that's beautiful. I love that. That sounds so good. I'm so on board with that. Okay, so you, you create this space. People are having fun in the way that you desire. People are. People are feeling the things that you want them to feel you as the person who has created that experience for others. What does that give you?
- [25:19]
Sheila Marie
Mm, well, it gives me a feeling of feeling fulfilled in my purpose. I feel very in alignment with myself and I never feel more happy or more content than when I am doing a retreat. Like when I'm finally there and I see everybody, I feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
- [25:41]
P. The Fury
Okay. Okay. So the little tokens here, if we were to pull some like little, little tokens. Main token is fulfillment. Another one is contentment. Another one is happiness. Fulfillment. Contentment. Happiness. Alignment purpose. These, these sensations right at the core, that's what you're looking for. And the reason I want to get down to like the little tokens is because sometimes our mind has an idea of like how something can be created. Like, the way that I get to this token is through retreats. That is the path to get to the token. However, the game might have a whole other way of getting to that token. But you're saying I'm limited to this map that we're playing on. I can only see, you know, how in a game, I don't know if you know this, but when you play a game or when you walk, walk a certain part of the map in certain games, that part of the map becomes illuminated. You can see, and you can travel easily to the parts that you've seen before. However, there's a huge map available that's just blacked out. You can't see it. There's nothing there. And oftentimes the only way that you will get to the other parts of that map is by following these weird, strange events that happen. Like, you might. All of a sudden, a talking toad might appear in front of you and say, I need you to go to this forest over here that you've never been to, because we need to get to this other place. And I can't get there because I'm too small, so you have to take me over there. And then all of a sudden you discover this other aspect of the map that you didn't know. However, if you believed that the point of the game was just the illuminated map that you've experienced before, you don't get to explore all of these other areas. And so what we can do to get the mind to not be concerned with only the illuminated aspect of the map is remind the mind. What you really want, though, is this, this, and this. You. You want these core things. At the end of the day, you think that the way that we get there is the way that you walked before. But these core energies underneath those, those are the things you're actually looking for. So the beauty in that is, okay, happiness is one that you're reaching for. Contentment, fulfillment, alignment, purpose. These things are all accessible to you right now without needing to think about planning the retreat correctly.
- [28:11]
Sheila Marie
Wow, wow, wow. You and I know this. We know this. It's like, it's so good to have these reminders.
- [28:19]
P. The Fury
We know, we know. But the crazy thing is, the crazy thing is, is that our mind will sometimes, because, I mean, we're. We're human beings. We live in a. In a society. We hear all kinds of things all of the time. And so our mind is always filtering information and trying to make sure that we're good based on the information that it's. That it's filtering. Um, but we can go beyond the mind when we remember that felt experience is everything. So when you're having that felt experience of I'm in. I'm. I'm living in purpose, I feel in alignment, I'm feeling that Sense of fulfillment. I can look back at the things that I've done before and access those feelings of fulfillment and contentment. Um, I can access these things. What happens is think about like. Like a portal. A portal appears beneath you when you access these sensations. When you're standing on these sensations, everything that's a match to those sensations suddenly becomes clear. It becomes obvious. You. You receive certain thoughts you wouldn't be receiving if you weren't standing on that portal. You. You read a billboard, and suddenly it looks different than it used to look before. And you. You read a completely different phrase, so true from that than you were experiencing before. Someone's tone in their voice. You hear a new tone in someone's voice. Someone could have been like your enemy yesterday. And the next day. They're your best friend. These felt experiences connect us to different realities. They connect us to different experiences. The map all of a sudden becomes illuminated everywhere. Temporarily because we're humans, though, so we don't tend to stay in our desired sensation for forever because we experience contrast and we learn and all of that. But tapping into those feelings that you're looking for, understanding that there are options that you haven't even thought of that another human hasn't even thought of.
- [30:21]
Sheila Marie
So then, what would I do with that? If I know this now, now what? What do I do?
- [30:25]
P. The Fury
Hang out there. Make that the most important thing in your reality is hanging out in that sensation for as long as your body will allow you and just live life. That's it.
- [30:39]
Sheila Marie
This is so cool, because in my book, I talk about creating your own emotional algorithm. Because even, like an algorithm on socials, like, right now, especially the way they are now, if I'm into gardening and I look at one plant mom video, I'm gonna start seeing plant content everywhere. And I'm like, yes, we can do the same thing emotionally. Which is what you're. Exactly what you're saying, okay, plants, I'm gonna magnify plants. I'm gonna look at plants. I'm gonna see more plant content. And suddenly, then I can have all the tools to be great plant mom or whatever. So I love that. That goes with being unruly. Absolutely. Thank you for that mini bootcamp. So if you're listening to that, you can apply that advice to your situation and just sit in those. It's almost like you're reverse engineering what you want. You're taking out the middleman, like, okay with it. You don't need these retreats to get those things that you want. And if you can magnify those things that you want, be those things that you want, feel those things that you want. Then the retreats, you'll do em. You might, you might not. You'll do em, and then you won't do them without the pressure. Or you'll find a new way to figure it out. Right? Something like that. Am I on the right track?
- [31:43]
P. The Fury
Exactly. And you might create something totally that's even better than a retreat that no one has ever heard about in their life.
- [31:50]
Sheila Marie
Even as open minded as I am, as often as I'm introduced to new information and I have the privilege on this podcast of talking to amazing minds, I'm always shocked at how much I need to, how, how often our brain goes back to what we know goes back to. It's like those grooves, you just go back, you know, neurons that fire together, wire together and it's like it's. Oh, that's one of the reasons why I love this podcast is it's just a practice and I hope for all the listeners you get this too. It's just a practice. And being open minded. It's a practice and being reminded of perspectives outside your own, which I love.
- [32:25]
P. The Fury
Geico's motorcycle expertise gives me the coverage I need.
- [32:28]
Sheila Marie
Like 24.
- [32:29]
P. The Fury
Seven claims I'm on cloud nine.
- [32:32]
Geico Representative
Clouds are wholly unable to support the weight of an adult human.
- [32:34]
P. The Fury
What's happening?
- [32:35]
Geico Representative
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- [32:55]
P. The Fury
Yeah.
- [32:56]
Sheila Marie
So I want to ask you in. I was listening to one of your podcast episodes and I absolutely love this and I was like, I have to talk to her about this. You said that you don't necessarily relate to collective forecasts, like astrological, like, oh, 2025 astrological predictions or general collective forecasts. And you're like, I don't necessarily relate to those because I don't always relate to the collective. I might be off in my own world doing our own thing. And I realized throughout my life I have upset so many people with that viewpoint. Because the world gets upset at you. Like, no, no, no, you have to be with us. These are the rules. And you have to play by the rules. You don't get to just make your own thing and live. So how do you, like, toe the line with that? That you're in the world, you're affected by the things of the collective. Especially now, speaking of Americans, we're affected by all this chaos in the government, affected by all of these things around money and inflation. But at the same time, we also live in our own little collective. So how does that work?
- [33:59]
P. The Fury
Well, I do have. I have a privilege. And my privilege is that my parents are immigrants, and my mom, she has six signs back to back in Pisces. She doesn't live on Earth. She lives in the ether. But one, because I am a child of immigrants. And I, like, I. I've always lived in neighborhoods where I kind of felt like I was standing outside of my environment, and I felt like I was always watching. Like, I was always like, hmm, interesting. I feel like an alien all the time. And so.
- [34:32]
Sheila Marie
P. Stop. Stop. Stop it right now. One of the stories that I have told every therapist I've ever worked with is I'm like, I just feel like. Do you. Have you ever watched Lovecraft Country?
- [34:44]
P. The Fury
No, I haven't.
- [34:45]
Sheila Marie
P. You would love it. You would. I've been told you would love it, girl. Go back and watch it. It's only one season. It's the best show that they've ever produced. I love it. But there's this one episode where the mom, she goes off into these ether, and these other. She's visiting these other versions of herself, and she's going into this, like. It's almost like a black girl warrior summer camp. She's training with a bunch of. She's doing this, and I'm like, yeah. Like, I just want to play and go around. Wait, hold on. What was I saying? How did I start it? I lost the thread.
- [35:15]
P. The Fury
I said I was an alien.
- [35:17]
Sheila Marie
Ah. And, yes. And she's like, in these alien forms and all this stuff. And I have told every therapist, I literally feel like. Like I'm a part of experiment. Like, the aliens was up there, and, like, I got a whole crew somewhere, but somehow they dropped me on here, and I'm like, baby, y'all need to come beam me up. Because this. I just don't feel like everybody else. I don't think when you're talking about not relating to the collective, I find that it's so hard. This is something that shows up with me, with social media, too, all the time. It's my opinions. My thoughts on something are not Are. I will. I will watch a reel. I will have a thought. Oh, my gosh. I will click the comments and be like, oh, I was way, way off. That is not what people are going, okay. And, like, I have a hard time finding out. I don't know if it's. Because if it's. It could be mental health stuff. Like, I don't know. Like you said, is it adhd? Is it. I don't know. I don't know. Thanks. But on one level, it's like, I. Yeah. I feel that I'm just. For a long. I don't feel like this now, but for a long time, I was very lonely with that because I was like, can they just come get me? Can they give me a sign? Can they give me a tool? Where is my core, people? Because I feel so out of sync with many people.
- [36:27]
P. The Fury
Yeah. Yeah. And. And I think I. I've felt that. I. I feel that I've felt. I remember there was one time where I think it was my dad. Cause my dad has always. He's just. He's so funny. He's just like, I need. Can you just be normal? And I'm like, I don't know. I remember this one time I was sitting outside on the. On the. Like, I don't know, on this little sidewalk, and I was watching the other kids play down the street, and he was like, why don't you go play with them? And I'm like, they're really loud. And my dad was like, what do you mean? What do you just.
- [36:59]
Sheila Marie
What does it matter?
- [37:00]
P. The Fury
Just go. Go play with them. And I'm like, I can't. It's very overwhelming. I just. I really enjoy looking at them. That's really fun for me, actually. I just want to watch. Can I just. Can I. Can I just watch? Anyway, so I've always felt like that. I've always felt, like, othered.
- [37:19]
Sheila Marie
Yes.
- [37:20]
P. The Fury
Separate. And so. Because. And my mom, who. Who's in the ether, who's kind of disconnected from reality in a really beautiful, interesting way, but she has instilled this thing in me where I'm like, there's. There's no one who can control or, like, instill like, true core fear in me other than God. Like, that's the. The only energy that's allowed to truly. Like, now I get nervous, and I get afraid a little bit sometimes, but, like, truly affect me to the core of my being is God. That's. That was. My mom always taught me.
- [38:05]
Sheila Marie
Wow.
- [38:06]
P. The Fury
And so I had that privilege. So to this day, me Feeling othered or separate. There was a period of time where I was like, a little bumpy because people would kind of rub up against it. And I was a little confused because I'm like, why are you responding to. Why do you care what I do? What did. I don't care what you do. I, I. This doesn't make any sense. And I rubbed. I rubbed up against it for a while, and then I realized I, I had this energy in me that was instilled by my mom that I'm not from here. Like, I. And I'm.
- [38:41]
Sheila Marie
And I'm not.
- [38:42]
P. The Fury
Yeah.
- [38:43]
Sheila Marie
And we're not.
- [38:45]
P. The Fury
I. That's just.
- [38:46]
Sheila Marie
I'm not of the earth, baby.
- [38:48]
P. The Fury
So I'm like, I don't really abide by the rules that you all live by. So, I mean, you can. And I, I understand why. I understand why it would be upsetting. I understand. I. I can understand you. You might not be able to understand me, but I can understand you. And so I'm gonna let you do you. And I will live my experience. And what I've found is people just kind of leave me alone. Now.
- [39:12]
Sheila Marie
I was gonna ask you, so what would you say to someone listening who's feeling very affected by the collective fear and chaos right now? Like, I don't know. P. Like, I hear you, but I have to live in the world. Like, people are losing jobs. It's getting stressful. I don't know what's coming next, and it's just scary.
- [39:30]
P. The Fury
Yeah. Let yourself have the feelings. That's. That's part of the experience is like, letting yourself have the feelings. But I think what a lot of people do, and it makes sense, but a lot of people take their feelings really seriously. And I think the reason why is because of the judgment of the feeling. Like, because I am feeling this, this means this, and then I have to do this. I shouldn't be feeling this thing. And the rejection of sensations, like, magnifies the sensations. It turns it into this big monster that have to avoid. And I'm like, fear is normal. You can die. Like, that's kind of crazy, right? Like, you have a mortal body. Of course you're scared. What, like, yeah, feel the. Feel the fear, and then it'll pass and you'll move on and live your life again. So I think, one, it's not judging negative sensation as something that shouldn't be had, which is what I was doing back in 2017, which is why I had that crashing and burning 2018.
- [40:28]
Sheila Marie
Judging negative sensations as if they should not be Had.
- [40:31]
P. The Fury
Yes, yes. And when you can allow them to exist because sometimes they have something to offer you, sometimes they have wisdom, sometimes it's just a really interesting experience. Like when I experienced heartbreak for the first, like, like romantic heartbreak for the first time. At first it felt so, like unbearable because a part of me felt like I shouldn't be having this, this experience. But when I actually felt the heartbreaking, the heart break, I was like, this is gorgeous. Like a stunning sensation. Like I've. Wow. Like this is wild. Now I don't want to do it a ton. I don't want to do it a ton. Like, but like this is a cr. And I can, I can like feel that feeling when I want to now without having to have external reality give me a reason to feel that. I can feel, feel that like gut wrenching heartbreak if I just want to. And I, it's because I've let myself fully have that experience. And so I think the relationship with emotion is, is what kind of causes the issue for a lot of people, not the emotion itself.
- [41:41]
Sheila Marie
Well, yeah, we're not really taught emotional intelligence and how to manage emotions or how to process them. So yeah, there's, there's a lot of fear around the unknown. I do want to touch on one thing you said when you were like, why, why do you care? Like, this is my life, I'm doing my thing. Like you can do your thing. I always said, I used to say that all the time. Like on my stories. I almost the, the metaphor I gave. Wait, is it an analogy? No, it's a metaphor. I think it's a metaphor of like going to a restaurant and you're ordering your food, but you steady looking at the other tables the whole time and ooh, why she got spaghetti? Why she got da da da. And I'm like, it always questions like, did you order the wrong things or do you not like your food? Or you know, you can order what you want, right? You know, if you want spaghetti or you don't want spaghetti, why are you at a restaurant that you're paid good money, you dressed up looking around at what everybody else is eating. Order the food that you want. If you don't like it, tell them, change it. Order right, Period. So with that note, I wanna, I wanna talk about black women for just a second. Cause we, we speak, we speak to black women here.
- [42:45]
P. The Fury
Geico's motorcycle expertise gives me the coverage I need. Like 247 claims I'm on cloud nine.
- [42:52]
Geico Representative
Clouds are wholly unable to support the weight of an adult human.
- [42:54]
P. The Fury
What's happening.
- [42:54]
Geico Representative
Furthermore, clouds are not numbered. Even if you procured a jetpack and searched, you'd find no cloud number nine. However, at that altitude, you'd likely befriend a flock of migrating snow geese. Geese who'd encourage you to leave your 24.7geico motorcycle claims insurance behind, as they would take you in and even share their dinner of crickets and clovers with you.
- [43:07]
P. The Fury
Ew.
- [43:07]
Geico Representative
GEICO assumes no liability for any indigestion that may occur from a clover cricket dinner. GEICO expertise for your motorcycle.
- [43:15]
Sheila Marie
So many black women feel that they have to work twice as hard just to be seen. And again, that relates to our. I think that we have a very close relationship with labor, with work. Right? How do we start redefining success in a way that prioritizes ease and pleasure?
- [43:34]
P. The Fury
My dad, he did work really hard. He's a Capricorn. He worked really hard. And I was raised in a suburb for the first, like, not for the first. Well, I was, was born in Miami and then we moved to Ohio.
- [43:47]
Sheila Marie
Oh, shout out to them from Florida, too.
- [43:49]
P. The Fury
Period. Yes.
- [43:50]
Sheila Marie
Wait, where are your parents from?
- [43:51]
P. The Fury
My mom's from an island called Dominica. My dad's from an island called St. Vincent. Oh, period. And they met in New, well, New Jersey, and then they moved to Florida and it. Yeah. But we ended up in Ohio. I lived in some in a suburb for a good chunk of my life because my dad was one of those people who's like, I'm a black man and I have to work extra hard, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make sure my kids go in good schools. And da, da, da. He got burnt out, obviously. My parents got divorced and I was with my mom, who is a fairy person. I love this. So money gone, like there. We didn't, we already didn't have much of it, but money is not, it was just not there. I, I, at some point we lived in a. I don't know if I've talked about this publicly, but we've lived, we lived in, like, a boutique that my mom had. I was taking showers at Planet Fitness. So, like, we were kind of homeless, essentially. So I've experienced financial bottoms where, like, I had no money and like, my mom had no money and, and like, we didn't have resources. I've experienced bottoms. I've also visited villages where people don't have money. And so, like, the baseline safety thing, like, the loss of things, I've experienced it. I've had that lived experience, and it Wasn't the end of the world. That, like, that. That for me, helped me, like, know to myself, like, losing money is not the end of the world. It's not the end of the world. I'm. I'm. I know myself, and that's. And also a very helpful thing. I will be very resourceful. I will always figure something out. Like, that's. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do that. So while I have the. The. I had the fears that I think most normal people have, I've also had the experience of loss, of. Of not having. And freed myself from the idea that. That. That that's the end of the world. But you don't have to have the physical experience to do. To do this. You can actually go there. Which is the thing that I do with my clients sometimes where I'm like, okay, part of the reason why you are not willing to relax is because you think this, that, and the third is going to happen. I want you to go to the reality where that happens. I want you to watch what happens. Like, what is going to happen. And then you're like, okay, well, first I'll lose my job. All right, cool. Job loss. Now what? I can't pay my rent. Okay, cool. Then what? What happens? Then I am evicted. Do you actually think you're going to be evicted? I probably won't be evicted. I'll probably leave before that. And maybe I'll have to pay a penalty, but I have the savings. Pay the penalty, whatever. Then I'll. I'll have to move in with my mom, my dad, or friend, or into a hotel for a while. Okay, cool. Then what? And, like, I'll just go all the way down to the worst. It usually is homelessness. That's usually like. What so many people end up at in their mind is their mind is trying to prevent homelessness. Wow. But it's usually that. I'm like, okay, there. All right, you. You as the homeless person. Like that. And I let them go all the way to the experience. Then what? And then they're like, well, I would probably do this. And then I'm like, and then what? And they're like, well, and then I do this. And then I'm like, okay. And then some people, actually, they'll get to the homeless. And they're like, that. I'm actually not afraid of that at all. It's not. I don't think that's gonna happen to me. And I'm like, but your mind's making you think that's going to happen. Because it's, it's trying to, it's trying to put the scariest thing that could possibly happen and say, like, that's what this is, what's going to happen. If you don't, if you don't push yourself to the stride that capitalism tries to hold us to, you're gonna die. And, and this, your life is gonna be over. When people actually think about it, they're like, no, I actually, I don't, I don't think that that's actually gonna happen. Or even if it did, I, I could figure something out. Like, that is 10 times out of 10, that's the experience my clients have. And they're like, I actually. Huh. And I'm like, cool, okay. So you've reached the end of that horrible, terrible timeline that you're trying to avoid with, at, at all costs. And you realize you don't need to avoid that timeline. And they're like, oh, okay. And then suddenly it's so much easier to relax because all the energy that you're trying to use to avoid the doom, the gloom, the horrible thing, you're able to reallocate that energy towards creating something else. And so my recommendation is to mentally go to the worst timeline. Go to the timeline that you're so afraid of, of ending up on if you relax too much or if you lean back more. Go there, Go to the end of that timeline and look at the reality of it. For you specifically, not for, for anybody, because you know yourself. Go to that timeline for you. And then realize, I actually do not need to be as afraid as I've been telling myself I need to be.
- [48:29]
Sheila Marie
Wow. That. It reminds me of parts work that I've done. And parts work is very similar. What it asks you to do is speak to a certain part or aspect of yourself and magnify the fear and go right into it. And then you get there and, and you realize it's like this big furry Elmo looking thing with somebody in the middle. Like, wait a minute, you're not even. So I actually want to end. The last thing I want to talk about is more of this timeline jumping. I talk about it, I call it meeting your sister self. I have exercises in my book for those who've been following me for a long time. I call serious daydreaming, because that's exactly what it feels like to me. It's like daydreaming with like a purpose. And. But you, you do timeline jumping. Can you break down, like, what that is and how people can use it in their lives?
- [49:18]
P. The Fury
Yeah. Okay, so the way that I play with this is kind of like what you said, the, the multiverse. We have this, we have this multiverse and we live in a reality that functions off of frequency and waves and waves of sound, waves of, of color. Everything that we are interacting with is based off of frequency. And so we have these endless versions of it. Now mind you, this is the belief system that I operate under, if that's. It's up to you if you agree or not. But we have.
- [49:58]
Sheila Marie
It's your spaghetti, it's your plate, whatever.
- [50:00]
P. The Fury
You want to order. We have infinite versions of ourself that are available. Every single time we make a decision, it splits off into versions of ourself. If you turned left, there's the you who turned left, there's the you who turned right. Every time we make a decision, more of ourselves are available. These selves are all connected by sensation. So if you are feeling the frequency of the self who is experiencing, let's say, well, just because we're talking about success, tapping into the frequency that you. Who feels the most successful, the reality where you made all the decisions for, for you that, that allowed you to have the success that like only you could have, tapping into the felt experience of what that would be for you, that is a matter of first. And this is like the timeline jumping process, first dissolving your attachment to this current frequency. So I like to think of our timelines as like radio stations and going from one radio station to another, going from one, one number to another, like it's, it, you have to count. Like you're, it might seem like you're instantaneously going from like, like 97.2 to like 101.6 or whatever. But like there's, there's things that are happening in between these, these numbers. You can't be one number and another number at the same time. You can't experience them both at the same time. And so what timeline jumping does, or the audio or, or any of these practices is the first thing you want to do is return yourself to as neutral as possible as, as, as removed from label, title, judgment, story meaning as possible. You are an entity. You, you are an endless entity with no name, no gender, no. Like, you just are an energy that is, that's ideally what I want the, the audio to do. You reach this zero point from that zero point from that void, space, emptiness. You can go anywhere because there's no, there's no frequency happening. There's. There's no direction that you're Going in so you can choose so you get to zero. And the beautiful thing about desire, about like, what we want, is that it. We will move towards what we want. Like plants grow towards the sun. It's, it's like, it's, it, it's natural like it. We're going to be moved towards what we want. So when we're at zero, we inherently move towards what we want. It's just. We will orient ourself towards the things that we want to experience more of. So when you get to that zero point and just spend like a couple seconds even wondering about the timeline that you would like to experience, you're being moved towards the version of you who's having that experience. And what they feel like, what they sound like, what they move like, the things they wear, the kinds of thoughts they have. It doesn't take much. It doesn't take much. It takes like a couple seconds of. Of wondering about their life and wondering how they feel to move in that direction. And then you hang out there, Hang out there for as long as you can. As you can handle. The audio is like 40 minutes long. So you can. I think it's like the, the last like ten minutes or so. You kind of just hang out with them. You merge with them. You realize, like, wait, I am them. Like, there's. I'm. I'm them, though. Like, the what? And it is, It's a little trippy because you're. You realize like, I'm. I am this self, though. And you kind of. There's a moment of confusion sometimes. You're kind of like, huh, I don't know why I ever thought I wasn't them. It's a little weird. Then you live your life, and life has to meet you where you are. It always does. Whatever story you are telling about your current experience is always reflected in your external experience. You always prove your truth to yourself. It like, that's, that's, that's just always what is happening. So when you hold that state, when you hold this, the, the shape of the timeline that you want to exist on, reality has to bend to meet that shape. And it's your job to stay open to receiving that reality.
- [54:25]
Sheila Marie
And the. And it's funny because I was like thinking we would go to the toolkit, but I wonder, is this the toolkit? Now, I'll ask you one more question before the toolkit. On that note, the final thing I want you to touch on is sometimes it's like you just got there. Like, sometimes it's like, all right, I can get there. But what. What is preventing that reality from being felt is all of the blocks in the way. And sometimes the work is actually clearing instead of manifesting, if that makes sense. Do you have any, let's say, for our toolkit, this is the part of the episode where we leave them with something practical, something actionable, which you've done plenty already, but this is just so that they can take it with them. What would you recommend for somebody who needs to just clear. You need to focus on removing the unworthiness, removing the restrictions in your mind that you create from allowing you to have the thing that you want.
- [55:22]
P. The Fury
Okay, this might sound counterintuitive. I'm sorry for it. Yes.
- [55:28]
Sheila Marie
We love that.
- [55:29]
P. The Fury
I don't believe in blocks, period, or anything needing to be removed necessarily. I do believe in focusing somewhere else until what isn't a fit washes off.
- [55:42]
Sheila Marie
Ooh, I love that. And you know what? I love that even better because it reaffirms the belief that the universe and you are intelligent by design and resourceful and economic, and that I love that reframe. Because it's not that something is there that shouldn't be there or that is unworthy, like, we just don't need it. It's just that maybe going back to your metaphor, they just need to be rearranged a little bit differently. Is that. Did I get it?
- [56:05]
P. The Fury
Yeah. Yes.
- [56:07]
Advertiser
Right?
- [56:07]
Sheila Marie
You are brilliant. You are brilliant. Whatever you're tapping into is just. Just so freeing. The energy that I am leaving this episode with is whimsy. It's magical, it's fun, freeing, and powerful. It's like taking Dominion over your own life in the most whimsical way possible. And I absolutely love that, because Dominion feels, like, harsh on Dominion. But whimsy is play. And I actually think that the marriage of those two is really what works here. I don't know about y'all, but this just expanded my whole viewpoint. P. This conversation was everything. You gave us. A new way to think about success, power, how to shape our own lives. And I know that if you are listening, you have been blessed, honey. So go ahead and text this episode to a friend right now. Share this on socials. Tag me. Tag. P. And we gotta get the word out. The more people that listen, the more you guys rate. Subscribe. Like, all the things I can just keep providing you more content like this. P. Before we get outta here, they're going to be looking for you. Where can they find you? Where can they work with you?
- [57:15]
P. The Fury
Instagram. Instagram is where I kind of put everything. Um, and then I. I have a. I have a. If you go to my website, I have a free class called Bridges. Um, a little pop up should pop up. But Instagram and then my. My bridges class, those are things that you can tap into now. Because when you sign up for the bridges thing, you get my. My weekly recaps that aren't always weekly because sometimes I forget adhd.
- [57:41]
Sheila Marie
I love this for you. Thank you so much. P. I love this conversation. And I'm just gonna think about. I am thinking now about magnetizing or make wait. Assuming the identity that supports the reality that I am a great plant mom and none of my plants ever die. Okay. That's what I'm gonna do.
- [58:01]
P. The Fury
Yes.
- [58:02]
Sheila Marie
Ask my fiddle leaf, Wilts. We're. We're gonna bring her back. I'm gonna do it. And I'm gonna update you on Instagram. Cause I. So thank you, Pete. Thank you. I hope you guys go find her. Go work with her. She's amazing. And thank you for being unruly. Thank you for being here. I think this is one of the only places where black women can get together and have these non judgmental, whimsical conversations that can help support our highest good. Until next time. I'll see you then. I'll see you on the Internet somewhere. Stay unruly. If you have something on your mind, a question or something you want me to answer, just send in a voice note@speakpipe.com unruly I can't wait to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. Be sure to follow or subscribe so you never, ever, ever, ever miss an episode of Unruly.