← UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
32: Catching Creative Spirits: Answer the Call, Sis ft. Kendra Austin
01:05:34
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- [00:02]
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- [00:32]
Sheila Marie
Welcome to Unruly. I'm your host, Sheila Marie. I'm an author, a fierce advocate for black women, and the founder of the curvy curly conscious movement. In this space, I'm sharing what I've learned on my own journey while sitting down with some amazing women who are all navigating their own paths to healing. Because there's no better time than now to get a little unruly. Welcome back to another episode of Unruly with your girl, Sheila Marie. Now, Black women have always been creators, visionaries, storytellers. We've been shaping culture, birthing movements and turning survival into art, period. But too often, we're not given the space or the permission to truly sit with our creativity, to prioritize it and to see it as something worthy of our time and energy. It's like there's this lingering idea that creativity is a luxury, that it's something that you do after the real work is done, that we gotta be practical first. You gotta get the to do list done first. And that dreaming, making and experimenting are things that reserved for other people. But I'mma just say that's bullshit. Okay? What if the very thing that we've been told to push aside is actually the thing to set us free? Well, there's no one better to break this down than the amazing and beautiful Kendra Austin. Kendra is a model, a writer, a speaker, and the host of Eldest Daughter Podcast. She's created a career out of radical self acceptance, period. Creativity and self expression. Whether through her oracle deck, the Realist Oracle, or her powerful essays in Come Home, she's always guiding people back to themselves. And that's very unruly of her. Today we're going to. Yes, today we're going to talk about the myths that keep black women from fully stepping into their creative power. And I am ready to get into it. Welcome to Unruly Kendra Woo.
- [02:32]
Kendra Austin
Thank you so much, much for having me. I'm beyond soaked.
- [02:34]
Sheila Marie
Beyond.
- [02:35]
Kendra Austin
I love to hop on the mic. If there's one thing about me, I'mma be on the mic. So I'm happy to be Here.
- [02:40]
Sheila Marie
Yes. We're going to keep the mics on. Okay, so I want to start by some icebreakers. And these are kind of like rapid fires. So when I ask you, it's like you're going to try to answer as fast as you can and as concisely as possible. Okay?
- [02:53]
Kendra Austin
Okay.
- [02:54]
Sheila Marie
All right. If creativity were treated like a life skill instead of a gift, how would.
- [02:59]
Kendra Austin
Our lives look different every single day? We. I feel like we would almost have, like, little timestamps like you would in school, kind of how you like lunch hour, math hour, English. Like, I genuinely think that that is how creativity would be valued. Like, every single time frame in your life would revolve around how you can generate more energy to extend yourself back into the world.
- [03:20]
Sheila Marie
Ooh, I love that. What's the wildest or most unexpected way you've ever caught a creative idea?
- [03:27]
Kendra Austin
Mm. In an airplane. I. I genuinely take all of the time I can when I'm on airplanes to generate ideas. I do think it's because you're closer to God.
- [03:38]
Sheila Marie
Interesting. I was gonna say there's always something with me on an airplane. I get all these ideas. I end up want. I don't know what it is. Yes, you're right.
- [03:45]
Kendra Austin
It's statistical fact, actually, that we get more creative in the air and they don't know why. And I do think it is because we're closer to God.
- [03:52]
Sheila Marie
That's a statistical fact.
- [03:54]
Kendra Austin
Yes. Oh, my God.
- [03:56]
Sheila Marie
I learned something new every day. Okay, last one. If someone was eavesdropping on your creative process, what would they hear or see?
- [04:08]
Kendra Austin
They would definitely see me biting the inside of my lip or my mouth. I do that constantly when I'm, like, in my zone. It's almost like my, like, Raven Simone Q. That I've. That I'm in my. What I call my God space. And I think that they. I think that they would hear almost. They would hear a lot of silence. I try to seek silence as much as possible, and that's how I generate the majority of my creative energy.
- [04:33]
Sheila Marie
Ooh, silence. Yes, I'm all for that. So let's get right into it. Let's talk about purpose. First, I wanna ask, from your perspective, what is purpose? I feel like everybody's looking for it, but what is it.
- [04:47]
Kendra Austin
Purpose is? I think that purpose is our. Our space that we go when we're able to channel with ease, delight, and, like, infinite opportunity. So I think a lot of people imagine that purpose is one specific thing. It's like, I am here to be. I am here to Be a screenwriter. I am here to be an artist. I'm here to be a shoemaker. I'm here to be a lawyer. And in reality, your gift is something that is, like, much more. It's almost like a theme, like a hero's journey that's pervasive regardless of what you're doing, who you're speaking to, or how you're acting. So I like to think, for example, my purpose is the gift of voice. I have the gift of voice. I can do that any way I want. I can extend that voice to paper, I can write. I can extend that voice to podcast. I could sing. I could share with my community. Right? Like, I just offer language to things that people alternatively may not be able to offer direct words to experiences that they may not have words for. And I have known that for as long as I've stepped into. My purpose was, like, as long as I'm extending voice, I'm in my purpose. And the second that I feel my throat close or, like, my voice gets smaller or like, I have to whisper, I'm not in my purpose. And it doesn't matter what I am doing, who I am with, as long as I'm able to tap into voice, I'm in it. So I think for other people, like, that could be something different. They might have, like, the gift of love, the gift of healing. They might be a homemaker. Like, I think there are a lot of different ways that that purpose can show up, but I think your magnum opus is less important than the energy around the magnum opus.
- [06:45]
Sheila Marie
Ooh, tell me more about that.
- [06:48]
Kendra Austin
So, like, I actually just watched that film opus with. With IO Edebury, and it was kind of essentially about this, like, it follows this, like, Elton John, like, pop star who comes back after 20 years, and she's a journalist, and she's kind of sent to his, like, weird cult, like, compound that he lives on to, like, observe him in this release of his. His album after 20 years in, like, hiding. And he has established this cult. But basically, what the cult is, like, centered around is the idea that we're, like, in infinite creativity. And actually everybody is capable of greatness. Everybody is capable of greatness in that we're not all equal, but there is equity in our access to greatness. It kind of got me thinking about how, like, I think that everybody thinks that a magnum opus needs to have impact for the great world, like, capital T, capital W, world. And in reality, our purpose is here to impact our world, our small world. And in that way, that reverberates out into the greater world, right? Like, that's how energy works. It's infinite, it's abundant. And what we do here has a butterfly effect on everything else. And I think that, like a lot of people, especially with the dissemination of art and craft and creativity on the Internet, the only way we think that our work is significant is if it's the magnum opus in the T8 capital T, capital W world that everybody must see it. And that's how we get ourselves, I think, stuck in this, like, hamster wheel of trying to create for algorithms and for the greatest numbers and for what. What gets the hits and what gets the people going. And in reality, we are supposed to be just tapped into what gets us going and therefore, what gets our small world in a, like, in flow, in a cadence with us that feels comfortable and good and delightful, and like, we can do it every single day for the rest of our lives. And that is our. That is actually our purpose. It's not the magnum opus that gets the greatest hits. And I think that anybody that's creative feels that often. Like, you feel like the tiktoks that you create that everybody loves, they're kind of the things, like, you don't love the most. You know what I'm saying? Like, you just kind of did it. You kind of just did it, you know, but the things that generate the most amount of love from you, you often like, oh, it could only got a thousand views, but it's like. But a thousand people. If a thousand people were in this room right now, like, you would be astounded by how many hearts you touch, you know, I love that approach because.
- [09:14]
Sheila Marie
It really does take some of the pressure off of creatives, because we. I don't think our brains are wired for this much visibility and this much information. And so us trying to reach all of these people is really exhausting. I feel like it's a lot of the reason why people get burnt out.
- [09:31]
Kendra Austin
It is. Well, and I don't think we often ask ourselves, like, who or why? Like, who are these? Like, if you were to visualize the person that you are channeling this message for and creating for, like, who are those people and why is it important that. Important for them to be shared this message, and why is it important for you to be the one to be sharing it? And I think that if we asked ourselves those questions more consecutively, it would be less. The number would be. Would be less important. And I think that we feel that most. When you actually start to hear the feedback, like, the. The Stuff that goes viral, it ends up on the wrong side. It ends up on the wrong side of the time.
- [10:11]
Sheila Marie
I do not read comments of my stuff that's outside of my network. I'm good.
- [10:14]
Kendra Austin
It's. You know what I'm saying? That's not my business. Whatever is being received from people that I did not visualize in my little noggin, that's not my business. But it becomes your business the second that you start to get, like, a cadence of constant virality. You realize, like, that the people that end up in that comment section, like, that may not be your audience. And I think deciding not everybody that sees your stuff and even clicks like or share is actually your audience is a very freeing thought to have. As a creative who uses the Internet.
- [10:45]
Sheila Marie
As a tool, how do you define yourself as. As a creative? Like, what does that mean, to be called a creative?
- [10:51]
Kendra Austin
Yeah. You know, I think about. I appreciate you asking this because I think about this question a lot, like. And I think it's ever changing. But I will say this. I did not start using the term creative or even artist until 2021. And what really transformed that for me is that I had a. I had a reading with a psychic. Well, the psychic that I was recommended to by these hoes out in LA as all psychics come to find us.
- [11:26]
Sheila Marie
And.
- [11:27]
Kendra Austin
And she has changed my life. She has changed my life in one million ways, mind you. I've been. I've been a crystal bitch my entire life. I've seen 1 million psychics. But something that she shared with me, that really.
- [11:37]
Sheila Marie
A crystal bitch. I'm taking it.
- [11:39]
Kendra Austin
That's it. You know what I'm saying? Let's just. Let's just call it what it is. Let's just keep it simple. But her name is Wendy, and we had a whole reading and she was telling me about all of these things that I would create in my lifetime. Like, she was like, you know, you're going to write this, you're going to do this. Like. And she was saying it really simplistically. Like, it wasn't like. She was like, you're. You're changing the world. She was just like, this is what you're gonna do. Like, you were born to do this. I can tell this is already on your mind. I can tell you already have this at your disposal. I can tell you already have this craft in the back, you know, in your. Kind of your back pocket. You're gonna eventually wield that sword or use that tool here, here, here. And it kind of feels like It'll go in this flow. Does that resonate? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, definitely. And then at the end, I realized that I hadn't heard her say to me, like, this is what you're going to be known for. And I realized that I had. What I felt like was an ego in our identity, but actually was a limiting belief, which I find often tends to be the same thing. Our identities are also our limited belief. I had this identity wrapped in being known for something and only one thing. Like, I wanted the world to say, Kendra did this. And I realized how much up until this point in this call that was, like, screaming at me every day, like, what are we going to be known for? What are we. And are you doing something today to be known for this thing? And after she told me all these beautiful things that I would create and all of these ways that I would impact hearts and lives, I said, so will I ever be known for something I'll never forget? She looked me dead in my face and she said, for the energy that I'm. I've been sitting in for this last hour, that's really fucking limiting for you to ask me? And I said. I looked at her and I said, oh, clocked it. I said, oh, clocked it. I was astounded. And I remember leaving that call and feeling really disappointed. I felt disappointment for a second. I felt grief for a second. And then I felt nothing but freedom and excitement because she had wrote Release Me from this obsession with one thing, with being a singular dimension in purpose, in creativity, in craft. And from that moment on, I realized, like, I am allowed, incapable of making anything that comes to my mind. And that's what it means to be creative for me. I am allowed, able and willing to make anything that comes to my mind, and I can make it alone. I don't have to be, like, bestowed the opportunity by the powers that be by a huge media company. I don't need to be given their money. I will find a way to do whatever it is that I want to do, and I'll do it within my means. And it doesn't have to be perfect, but it will be done.
- [14:35]
Sheila Marie
I love that. Because perfect is done is better than perfect.
- [14:38]
Kendra Austin
It absolutely is. And everybody who I've ever valued has told me that exact thing. Any creative that I've ever loved, if we really sat and chopped it up, they'd be like, well, you know, done is better than perfect, not sat. You know, like, we all know it. I feel there's.
- [14:52]
Sheila Marie
There's so much tension with that idea with me. Because there's, like, one side of me that I literally idolize and love People who have a magnum opus, like, who have something that they've worked. I'll give an example. If you're on TikTok, guys, maybe you've seen it. There's, like, a group chat, like, thing going viral, and this girl's basically. She's just acting out, like, what's going on in her group chat. And she did an interview and said that she worked on it for a year. She wrote the script for it for a year, and now it's like, this really compelling, like, viral series. And I really. When I hear that, I go, oh, I love that. I love people who work on something for a year. But when I try to do that, it becomes overwhelming, and it's almost like trying to eat an elephant in one bite.
- [15:35]
Kendra Austin
Mm. Mm.
- [15:37]
Sheila Marie
And so then I don't value when I do something that doesn't take that amount of time as much. Cause I'm like, well, it's not like she spent a year. I only. And so there's this value with the amount of time that something takes. So I. I find that there's a lot of tension with that idea.
- [15:52]
Kendra Austin
For me, that's really interesting. I. I completely relate. I completely relate, and I think a lot of it. Do you have Earth sign placements in your big three?
- [16:01]
Sheila Marie
Is. Is Capricorn an Earth sign?
- [16:03]
Kendra Austin
Yeah, girl.
- [16:03]
Sheila Marie
Yeah, it is. Okay.
- [16:05]
Kendra Austin
Yes.
- [16:06]
Sheila Marie
Yes. That's my moon.
- [16:08]
Kendra Austin
Okay, so. Okay, so that makes a lot of sense, because your emotional wellness is built on delayed gratification. It's like, if I work hard and long enough and show up for this craft every single day, I am then a good person. That valuable. I know that because I have a Capricorn rising. So I feel that. I feel that. But all of that, to say that this is on my mind a lot for that reason it's kind of built into my software, is that I really love the ritual in practice of showing up for things. Like, it makes me feel to me that that is like, my God space, as I referred to earlier. Like, that feels to me like I'm living a life worth value is if even in small bites, I can show up for something every single day that feels like it's worthy beyond myself. And I think that that's why when I see people who have their. Their one thing, it really sparks a interest in me, and it sparks inspiration in me because I'm like, I know that you had to do this every single day, and it's identifiable, you know what I'm saying? It's like it's easy for me to digest somebody that doesn't know you. I'm not looking into your life, I'm not a voyeur into your process, but I can tell because of the final product that you must have, right? Like when you like listen to like an Issa Rae who's also a Capricorn Queen, she had one, you know, I'm saying, like she's not a one trick pony by any means, but her thing is obviously, and she's expounded on that in ways that, that are fruitful to her and everybody around her. And she's offered that to other people. But at the end of the day, she's a storyteller, right? And she's done that perfectly. And she's done that for a very long time. Even when there were a few people and many people watching. And she tells you that she's like, I did this shit for a really long time. And she has pain on her face when she says it, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, that you work for it. I realized that, like that while that's her magnum opus, right? And that's obvious for her and that's like a Beyonce, another famous earth sign queen. She is a singer, she is a performer. She's been doing this her whole life. I think that those things are easy for everybody to identify because we just love singular dimension. It's easy to see, it's easy to know, it's easy to understand. And we then feel inspiration because then we feel like if I give myself a to do list and I just simply show up for it every single day, then it will be done. I will have the same thing. And all around that's a fallacy every single day. We can't show up for something that's not ours. Number one, like if it's not my job to be Beyonce, I won't do that. Even if I showed up for it every single day, it's not possible because that's not my calling. But also, if you're a multi dimensional creative and you're a multi hyphenate and you have many, many your hands in many pockets and you're meant to do many things, you can try that every single day and you will fail because it's not what you're here to do. And I realized that that was true for me really young and I kept on trying to do it and then I ultimately crashed and burned really young. And it Felt like I was going through a midlife crisis, but I was doing it at 22 years old, and I was like, why am I so hardened by life already? Like, why is this such a challenge? And it took me a little bit to gain the language and, like, the verbiage for it, and also to get, like, a clear image of why that was a problem. But I think it's mostly that I was actually just kind of gifted with natural talents that I meant to throw out in small bursts.
- [19:37]
Sheila Marie
I love that. I think I'm gonna take that for.
- [19:39]
Kendra Austin
Me too, you know, and it's a very freeing thought. Yeah, it's true for a lot of people. Like, I. I am a naturally gifted person, and I don't have to work a long time for a lot of the things that I'm. I'm meant to do. And at the same time, every single thing that I've ever created and put out into the world, any skill set that I built in doing that thing, has eventually come to create something else. So actually, everything I've worked really, really a really, really long time for in. In building and going to therapy, in my meditation practice, and creating community and friendship, in being open to loving connection, in creating a heart that could do those things, in journaling every single day, like, and just saying I'm going to do it and I'm going to freak it. You know what I'm saying? I. Even right now, it's like, I own. I own several businesses, I have my podcast. Every single time you show up to bat, you have to learn a new skill. Like, I've had to show myself Photoshop, I've had to learn Canva, I've had to learn. You know what I'm saying? You learn. You learn graphic design, you learn Photoshop, you learn a video production. Like, you learn audio production. Like, you have to learn skill sets that eventually I think down the line you'll realize like, oh, actually this was directly connected to this. So you actually have been working a long time toward it. It just not one thing, it's just.
- [21:02]
Sheila Marie
Not maybe linear too.
- [21:03]
Kendra Austin
Like, you don't.
- [21:05]
Sheila Marie
What role does discipline play in creativity? I mean, as an Aries. Sorry, even just hearing it as an Aries, tiring. This is my. This is like, maybe my biggest lesson at this stage in my life is. Is. Is locking into how much discipline actually gets me the life that I want. Because for a lot of times, like, if you're an Aries and you're unhealed, it's like a juvenile type of existence, rebellious yeah, we're the babies. And it's like nobody's gonna tell me what to do. I wanna do my own thing. And then you're, and then for me, I'll speak for myself. I just feel like I'm like running ragged. I'm doing a thing over here. I'm doing a thing over here. I'm doing a thing over here. I'm doing a thing over here. And I'm like, Sheila, the things that you want are really behind discipline. I want to know how you feel about that.
- [21:49]
Kendra Austin
I, I, I've made 1 million videos TikToks and posts about this. But like to what you said, everything that you want on the other side of, of doing the thing and doing it. Often I despise the word discipline. I realized and because I need to trick myself into doing it anyway, I call it ritual. Um, because I'm a crystal bitch and because I'm spiritual, I've decided new language will build a new house for me to live in that feels softer and warmer.
- [22:19]
Sheila Marie
I love that ritual. Ritual feels to me when I hear ritual. Yeah, I feel like I'm doing something for myself. I feel like I'm in connection. This feels like a part of life that gets me more towards what I want and not like, eh, I have to do this thing. Ritual. I'm taking it ritual.
- [22:39]
Kendra Austin
Absolutely. And I think that, you know, language, language suits different people for different reasons. There was a time when discipline also felt really good to me because like, at the time I was working on like my inner parenting. Like, you know, you have your inner child and you have your inner parent. And it felt like that would be valuable to me for like my inner parent to come in and kind of show my inner child some discipline for our best interest. So for example, yesterday was tax day and I said, my inner parent is going to show some discipline here because I spent the moneys. So now I have to, I have to give the monies, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just had to tell myself like, this is what we have to do. It's hard. It's a hard pill to swallow. I don't need to say that it's easier than it is. It's just hard. But for me, when it comes to the creative process into just doing the thing, ritual like really suits me. And it suits me because I can visualize. I feel like for me then I create a space that reminds me of like going to my altar and speaking to my ancestors. And that for me is what my creative process is like. I am going to the altar and speaking to my ancestors. I also do believe that creative ideas that were sent to us are our ancestors and energetic form. And that's what makes our gifts, that's what makes them ancestral, that's what makes them handed down, is that if you really look back, all of your foremothers actually also had this. But maybe she didn't have the time, you know what I'm saying? She would, she would take the resources, the knowledge. She didn't have the therapy. She had to take care of a man, she had to work three jobs, you know what I'm saying? She was, she was under chattel slavery, let's call it what it is, you know, it's like our people have been through a lot. So I think that knowledge of the fact that when I complete something, I am, as we always say, my ancestors wildest dreams. But also like in showing, I don't have to like have the gold star to be there. The fact that I have given myself a life of time, freedom and comfort and joy, where I call myself a creative and then people give me money for it. I need to show up. I need to show up because my grandma and her mom and her mom and then moms before that, they could not do this. And they did everything for me to have this. So I feel the spirit of that a lot when I make the sacrifice to like do something even when I don't feel like it. And I feel the return of that instantly, you know what I'm saying? We all feel that way. It's like going to the gym, you know, it's like going to the gym. Like you feel great, you feel great after. And even during you might, you probably feel pretty good because you're like, damn, like I got here, like I slept all the way to the gym. I took my pre workout, I got my coffee, I put my shoes on. Like I knew that I wanted to do this, this and this instead of this. But in the grand scheme, this feels really, really good to me. And I gifted myself that, you know. But ritual to me feels like it's. It's an energetic and spiritual practice. And I think visualizing doing hard things, even though they're hard around something that's like going to my altar and meditating or talking to my past grandmother or lighting my candles and speaking goodness onto my life, like that's what I'm doing when I show up to my writing, to my writing practice, or when I have to teach myself a program that I didn't ever foresee. That's really hard for me. Or when I have to do my taxes for my business, you know, like, period. What it is.
- [26:04]
Sheila Marie
What would you say to somebody who is a creative and their. They have this fear that somebody is already doing it. Like, how do you push past the feeling that your voice isn't needed?
- [26:15]
Kendra Austin
I don't have that feeling.
- [26:17]
Sheila Marie
Oh, shout out to that.
- [26:19]
Kendra Austin
I don't have that feeling. I'm going to be honest. I don't have that feeling, but I will never have.
- [26:24]
Sheila Marie
You never had that feeling?
- [26:25]
Kendra Austin
I've never had that feeling.
- [26:26]
Sheila Marie
Oh, good for you.
- [26:27]
Kendra Austin
I have been a loud bitch since the day that I was born. Okay. I came out the womb saying, I'm here. I. From birth, when I was, like, a toddler, my mom always says, like, I would be the first one up. Like, I would be like, get up. We were gifted another day. Let's go. Let's go. I have always felt like I was deserving. I. Sometimes I tell people that while I am a. A proud black woman, I was born with the entitlement of a white man. I'm confident that I deserve everything.
- [27:03]
Sheila Marie
Period.
- [27:04]
Kendra Austin
I think that I deserve everything. And I mean that so earnestly. But that's not to say that I don't feel fear. I feel fear. I just do it anyway. And I. And I feel very real fear. You know what I'm saying? The fear of, like, what if I hurt people? Like, I think that this is, like, really common for black women, like, who are creatives now, is that you have these other obstacles that I think that, like, a white man, for example, would not have, which is that we're very conscious. We're conscious of the collective consciousness. Like, we're conscious of the impact of our actions and what we create and why we create it. And I think that, like, I experience a lot of fear of, like, am I doing more harm than good in chasing this? Like, is it something that should be said right now? Even if it should be said by me, should it be said right now? Is there something more important that maybe I should initiate and then back? You know? Like, I think those things often come into play. And if in those moments and what I would tell. What I would tell and have told many, many people, my. My creative cohorts is that if you go into the water aisle at the grocery store, there are 15 million brands of water, and all of them have lasted decades. Like, water brands don't go out of business, and yet they're still here, and people continue to buy them, and they're selling the same thing. And we can say they taste different. And yeah, waters do have slightly different tastes, but at the end of the day, all of it's water. And I think that that's a testament to the fact that, like, there is always a need for what we're creating, and there's always an audience, and just simply putting our energy into it means that people who are resonant with us will find it.
- [28:51]
Sheila Marie
Absolutely.
- [28:52]
Kendra Austin
And that is enough.
- [28:55]
Sheila Marie
What. What does catching a creative spirit look like in real life? Talk to us about that.
- [29:00]
Kendra Austin
Oh, my gosh. You know, I think. I think that we have to find. I think we have to dilly dally, and I think we have to find whimsy as much as our time, the time that we deem valuable allows. And I. When I say that, I mean, like, we need to do a whole lot of nothing as often as we can. Like, you need to just, like, go on a walk for no reason and stop into a shop that you've never been in before, even though you lived around the corner from it. Just because you haven't been there, you don't know what's in there. And that's crazy because it's around the corner from you. You need to go and just, like, talk to the guy that owns it, because he is your neighbor and he's your community member and he has a name and he's owned this store for 15 years and you've never walked into it. You need to ask him what he's doing, why he's been doing, where he comes from, if he plans on handing it down. We need to interact with our community in the stories that it's telling, that it's screaming to us, even though we're putting our headphones in. Quite literally, most of us, we walk, especially in big cities. Like, I live in New York. Almost everybody has headphones in all day long and they never take them out. And there are people around you every single day who want to speak to and want to be spoken to, even though they don't look like it, because they're New Yorkers. They want to tell their story. So why don't you listen to, like, why don't you just walk into the shop and ask the guy, like, so.
- [30:27]
Sheila Marie
What does that look like for you in a day?
- [30:29]
Kendra Austin
Yeah. So actually, literally today I was walking to the Apple store and there was a woman who I could tell that she was, like, trying to catch somebody's eye. So I intentionally said, do you need something? Like, do you? Do you need something? And she Was. She was like, yeah, like, I'm trying to catch the B26. I'm trying to go to bedside. And I said, oh, okay, yeah, absolutely. I can help you with that. And so I stopped, and I pulled up Google Maps. I was like, I don't ever. I actually never take the bus, but let's. Let's figure it out together. And. And then I was like, what are you going to bedside for? And she was like, oh, like, my nephew wants me to meet him at this flower shop. And I said, oh, what is he getting flowers for? And he was like, what's my niece's birthday? I said, how old is she turning? And. And you know what I'm saying? We're just getting into it while I'm looking for it. And she goes. She goes, are you Trinity? And I said, no. She goes, you sound trendy. And I was like, that's crazy. I've never heard that before. But I was like, are you Trinity? And she was like, yeah. And I was like. I was like, how long you been in New York? And then she tells me about how long she's been New York, that she. She moved back to Trinidad recently because she realized New York was really hard. She wanted to be close to her family. Her mother was passing. And I said, oh, how old was she? She said, oh, she was, you know, 92. And I said, God bless. God bless. And then we were just going into her whole history, and I knew that I needed to hear that. I just knew that I needed to hear that. And I don't know why to this moment, this was out. This is a couple hours ago. I still don't know why, but I do know that in this moment, I got a chance to talk to somebody who built the city that I live in. And that something about that story, in the things that she told me about herself might be resonant to me at some times. And they always are. They quite literally always are. When I, in my newsletter, come home, the majority of my essays in that newsletter are about interactions that I've had with strangers. And I didn't realize that. Like, I didn't do it on purpose necessarily, but I find that the things that people are willing to tell us in passing are things that are really, really pressing to them, because they're pressing to everybody. And that if they just had a chance to share them and to be heard, that it would release them from something. And in me taking it, it might also release me from something. And that's, like, what we're doing here as Creatives. I don't think that we see conversations as creative energy, but they are. That's literally what they are. Everything we do is creativity. When we're cooking our breakfast, baking, making our matcha latte with strawberry syrup, having a conversation with a stranger, all of these things are a creative practice. And I have seen myself as being a part of the creative practice and the creative impulse of my community and of my city by interacting with it more openly. And I have time, we all have time to do that. Yeah.
- [33:14]
Sheila Marie
Several answers have come back to community. And it, it's. You're making a strong connection between creativity and community, which I really like because it decentralizes the need for the idea to just come all from you.
- [33:28]
Kendra Austin
Yes.
- [33:29]
Sheila Marie
And if you're just sitting there with your headphones on and cranking it out in front of a computer by yourself, there's pressure. You gotta get all of that magic, the spark, the intuition, the answers have to come from you. But if you start to see your creativity, as always, a thing that's always happening, not just when you're actually cranking out the idea, but a part of your life, it frees up the pressure. You might get the answer from, like you said, talking to a store clerk or whatever.
- [33:57]
Kendra Austin
Yes. I don't feel, I feel almost 5% of our creative practice happens at the desk. It's about literally, quite literally everything else. And I even observe, I observe that like if I am sitting down at a task and I'm like, nah, I got the wall, I will literally be like, okay, you know what? I'm gonna go get my favorite bev. I'm gonna go get a bev. I'm gonna go on a little 30 minute walk, go talk to somebody, touch grass, and I'm gonna come back. Maybe I'll listen to somebody else's podcast. Maybe I'll listen to my favorite album from when I was in seventh grade, because that's just popping into my mind right now. And when I. There's like a 100% success rate with doing that because I am opening myself up to the fact that like, again, creative energy is infinite. It's not me to you, it's through somebody, it's through the world. You know what I'm saying? Yes. It's from the world, through me and back again. So if I am only thinking with myself in mind, which is what thinking, a creative process happens at the desk is. I'm not creative. I'm just doing. I'm just doing something.
- [35:03]
Sheila Marie
You know, this is so interesting because it's making me realize all of a sudden, because I haven't really clocked this until right now during our conversation, but in my podcast episodes, I talk to women that I find genuinely interesting and brilliant and creative. And so I have. All the conversations are always so cool. I leave the conversation, and I have a new perspective, and. But during the interview, I will get answers to things that I've been thinking that have nothing. Like right now, an answer to a conversation I had with my husband came to my mind, or a conversation I had with my mom, and it's like, oh, that's what I need to say. Oh, that. And it'll just pop into my mind unrelated to what we're talking to. But I think it's that being in that energy in your right now, me being in your creative energy, because we're in a loop right now, is in some inspiring other parts of my life that are completely seemingly disconnected. And I love that approach, guys. So if you're. If you take nothing from this episode, it is that decentralizing the answers and the creativity that they allow for a little more, like you say, whimsy and serendipity, that they can come from other sources.
- [36:10]
Kendra Austin
Absolutely.
- [36:10]
Sheila Marie
What do you do when you're blocked? You feel blocked creatively, I think.
- [36:14]
Kendra Austin
I think it's pretty connected to the last answer and that. Yeah, exactly. Like, I try to create. I. I'll just create, like, wild cards, you know? And I think a lot of people think that they're, like, distractions. Like, you got to create a wild card, you know, you got to throw. You got to throw something out there that you're like, I have not had this experience before. I'm a very, like, sensual person. Like, I. I love touch, tastes, feels, smells, all the things that. All of that's really inspiring to me, and I think it's inspiring for most. That's why, like, our sense of smell is most connected to our memory. Like, if you smell. If you smell white diamonds. Every black woman in America knows what white diamonds mean. Yeah, exactly. Literally. You know, it's like at my. In my. In my office, I have a candy dish that's filled with those strawberry. Strawberry wrapped candy. And were those originals? And it's because. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. But it's just like that for. For me, like, being able to look at that and, like, take a little candy and maybe just, like, step away for a second, it feels like, again, like, I'm doing something purposeful. Like, I feel, like, warm and good. And I think that, like, Creating. I think that when we're in block, usually we're in block for very real reasons. Like, I think that usually what that is, is fear and fight or flight like you are bringing. You. You might have had a really challenging conversation with your partner that makes you think, maybe I shouldn't be in this. And now you're trying to create for the world. You may be suffering a huge grief, you may feel financial insecurity, like we're in a recession, you know what I'm saying? Like, there's people can't eat. Like there's people starving. Kim. You know what I mean? Like, I think there are very real reasons why we confront blocks and then we just call them blocks. But in reality we are experiencing fight or flight in our bodies. And I think that creating for me, like creating a sensual experience even as small as, like having a worth is original that my grandmother used to hand me at the, in the, in the fourth hour at Second Baptist Church. That to me, that to me feels like comfort and warmth in a. In a time where I just wanted to escape, you know what I'm saying? Where it's like, I don't want to be here anymore. This is challenging to me. It's too hard. All my, all of my, you know, like the, the negative beliefs or the things that I tell myself that might even sound benevolent again. Like, this is what I was born for. So why is this hard for me? It's like, well, maybe this isn't the only thing you're born for. Maybe you just give it up today. You know, maybe you think about something else that makes you feel good. Like, so I think that just opening up more curiosity in, in a very physical way of like removing yourself from the environment for a second. Incorporating something into your environment, like a new smell, a new taste. Maybe you need to just go take a 15 minute nap. Maybe you need to eat something good, you know, Like, I think that there are a lot of very physical reasons why we experience blocks, but we experience, we imagine ourselves as factories for other people's fulfillment when we're creatives. And that is actually your block is that you're trying to pour from an empty well and wondering why you're tap dry. Like, you need, you need to go fill up your cup and do something that makes you feel good and remind yourself that you're a person first and that you're in a body and that you're safe here. And I think that that can be very helpful.
- [39:42]
Sheila Marie
I agree. I actually want to ask you about two videos you Made which I thought were so brilliant. One is you said we need to stop over explaining. Tell us why we need to stop over explaining.
- [39:57]
Kendra Austin
Well, for one, I think it's like a little bit of trauma work. So I find this is true for most people who have the gift of voice. A lot of us developed a voice because we felt unheard to some extent. Or you felt like misunderstood by one of your parents, or you maybe were the quiet kid in class growing up. And then you always just felt like you were being shouted over. And then at one point you just decided actually, like, if I create my own space of safety, I can say whatever I want. And that's when you become a writer, that's when you become a podcaster. That's when you become somebody who has this gift. I think that that usually all of these things, these gifts are translations in transmuted positive energy from feeling like you always have to explain yourself, otherwise the world around you will crumble. If you didn't say the perfect thing, you used the wrong verbiage. Maybe you got put in timeout. You were told to go sit somewhere else. You were told to mind to not mind grown folks business. You were told that you were running your mouth. You're too loud. You're too, you're to everything. And I think that then that starts to groom, groom a lot of, I think women in specific and really hyper intellectual women and certainly hyper intellectual black women. What happens is that we then in all of our relationships, in friendships and our relationships with our families and our relationships with our partners and with the world and with our audience, you feel like if you do not explain everything to a table, they will revoke your access to them. They will revoke your sense of belonging and love. And I have really had to task myself to simply say what I mean as concisely and simply as like a 5 year old could like use 5 year old language. I feel really hurt. You hurt my feelings. I don't know what that means right now, but you really hurt my feelings.
- [41:53]
Sheila Marie
I, I have recently started to let people be confused about me. It's very freezing. Freezing. Freeing. I meant to say, come on. It's so freeing. I, I like you said, I love that like I will explain myself. It some people, I won't explain myself at all. I'll just let them have their thoughts. I don't care. But the people I care about, I will explain myself and then I will leave it. If it, if, if it's not resonating, if you're doing all this pushback I will let you be confused.
- [42:19]
Kendra Austin
That's it. You got it. You got it right now. You got it, you got it, you got it.
- [42:23]
Sheila Marie
Stay confused and stay right there. That's it.
- [42:25]
Kendra Austin
That's it. That's it. That's it. Because ultimately, it's like people who love us are going to find a common language with us.
- [42:33]
Sheila Marie
Absolutely.
- [42:34]
Kendra Austin
They will find a common language and.
- [42:35]
Sheila Marie
The people who value you want to understand you and they will do the work to figure it out or they will have that second conversation, if not. Mm, mm. One thing about me is I am no longer explaining myself to people who are committed to misunderstanding me.
- [42:50]
Kendra Austin
Oh, yes. In two places. I'm not going is back and forth. I'm not going back and forth.
- [42:59]
Sheila Marie
That's exactly right.
- [43:00]
Kendra Austin
It's not fuck you going favorite destinations, but I don't know them. No mo.
- [43:04]
Sheila Marie
No.
- [43:05]
Kendra Austin
And it's just you've got to release yourself of it. I love it. I love everything you just said. I love it.
- [43:09]
Sheila Marie
And even on socials, like, I love women who do not go to explain themselves. Like Dochi, I hope she never response to people being weird, ever. Beyonce, she just be up there and she don't say nothing. Now I got my issues with Beyonce, but the point of it is what she's not going, like you said, back and forth.
- [43:27]
Kendra Austin
That's it. It's like, those are your issues, though. Do you know what I'm saying? You know, Shayla, those are your issues, actually. And. And she makes that clear by never responding, never explaining. She don't never have a caption. She just post her flick and go. She just post her flick and go.
- [43:41]
Sheila Marie
Let people be wrong.
- [43:44]
Kendra Austin
It's perfect. It's perfect to me. It's perfect to me. And like, I find myself doing it, checking myself in every part of my life. Like, there are some moments, there are some times where I'll post a video on TikTok and some of them gauge a lot of like, adverse comments. So, you know, I'm saying a lot. A lot of adverse comments or yeah, like, interesting conversation. And there are some moments where I'm like, oh, actually, like, like I didn't actually explain that in this video. You know what I mean? Or like, I'm curious about what you're saying. Like I want to know. And I think that that's different from defense. If you are seeking greater conversation for the sake of curiosity with somebody who is acting in, conversing with you in good faith. Yeah, it's like, that's a good faith conversation. But if in that moment, if I feel like there are some times where I'm like, I know that you're just here to be contrarian and you don't want to hear me, you don't want to see me. And I'll start to comment and I'm like, what am I doing this for? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, what am I doing it for? Like, I don't need. You don't need. I don't need you to get it. Like, it's clear this wasn't for you. I know that. We all know that you've commented. So now every. The commenters know that. So what is it that I'm trying to get out of this back and forth. Even, like with my partner, like, he's a very. He's a man. A few words and I'm a of many. Right? You know, we love that. We love. We love that. A yapper. A yapper and listener combination, it goes the long way. Like, you know, it's perfect. It's perfect. But I have found, you know, when you truly love somebody, the reason why you love them is because you're seeking to absorb their gifts. And with my partner, I have learned to observe. Like, absorb. Observe first and then absorb second. When he chooses silence, I realize I'm like, he is almost always in a position of power. I don't think I've ever seen him not in a position. When I say that, I'm talking about personal power, not over anybody else. He's always in a position of personal power because he selects his language judiciously and he feels inclined to explain himself very little. And he's misunderstood all the time. All the time. And he feels such comfort with that because he's not letting his inner critic take over. And that's what's happening when we're over explaining is that we're proving our inner critic right. We second guess the inner critic that tells us that our. Our misunderstanding, us being misunderstood in the world means that we will lose everything. We are actually affirming it when we talk, when we talk and talk and talk. And we are proving it wrong by staying silent. And I think that envisioning ourselves in relationship with that inner critic versus with the person who's currently, like, representing that inner critic is most important. It's like after you're in a conversation with me. Yeah, that's big, you know, and it's like, I need to let myself just be misunderstood right now. But even by me, in that feeling that I have when I walk away, where I'm like, oh, I really wanted to say that though. It's like. And then have that conversation with yourself.
- [46:59]
Sheila Marie
Yep, exactly. I love that you pulled the energy back. Yes.
- [47:04]
Kendra Austin
Pull it back.
- [47:04]
Sheila Marie
One more video you did I thought was girl hit me in the chest. GR you said aligned action is the savior you're looking for. You don't need another class. You don't need. Tell us more about that. I was like, like, damn, she got me with that.
- [47:19]
Kendra Austin
It is just like, you know, I think this happens a lot with the intellectual shorties like you will. We feel when you're around something inspiring, when you're absorbing something inspiring is when you feel most inspired. Like that's just what it is like when you're listening to that speaker. You know what I'm saying? When you're, when you're listening, when you're in the masterclass with Issa Rae, when you're, when you're reading a self help book that's like everybody's holy grail. When you're on TikTok watching the tutorial, when you're talking to your mentor, you're going to feel your most inspired because you're, you have the tools right there in front of you. You don't have to visualize them yourself. And I think that like, we confuse that with doing the thing. We confuse receiving the inspiration as the same thing with using the inspiration to go and make the thing. And it feels good enough. That feels good enough. It's almost like being in therapy, right? Like there are some sessions that I go into with my therapist and like, I feel amazing because I'm like, I, I understand completely what you're. I know you're giving me the keys. I feel amazing. I'm walking away, walking on sunshine because you've given me the keys. What doesn't feel good is when I have to go unlock the door with the keys in my actual life because that means I have to have the hard conversation. I've got to interrogate my self limiting beliefs. I have to do that. The application never feels good. And so I think that like, and I can feel sometimes when I'm like avoiding doing that, I'm avoiding doing it then. Because what feels best is that I've just taken it in and I've hoarded it and it's just sitting with me and I never have to challenge it and I have to challenge like the, the nuance of actually using the tool. You can just have it. And I don't think that we realize that's what we're doing. We're just hoarding tools when we try and seek more and more information.
- [49:05]
Sheila Marie
Hoarding tools.
- [49:07]
Kendra Austin
Wow. That's what it is. It's like, baby, y' all better not.
- [49:09]
Sheila Marie
Be hoarding y' all tools in the unruly toolkit. Y' all using them.
- [49:13]
Kendra Austin
Go use them. Go use them. You know, So I think that that, like. Like, again, it's like the visualization practice, I think, is really, really important when we're interrogating things that are holding us back. And, like, I personally, like, don't like to be told shit by anybody anyway. So I rarely have this problem. I don't want you telling me what to do. I will figure it out. Like, I have the opposite issue where it's like, I need to. Once I interrogate, I'm like, okay, babe, but should it be you? Like, maybe you go ask for help or you go find. You go pay somebody to do that, you know? But at the end of the day, I think that the majority of the things that. To go back to your first question about purpose, Our purpose can't come from somebody else. We have to fail. And I think a lot of our reticence to leave class and become the teacher is that the teacher is failing really loudly. If they fail, that's the thing. You've got students. So I think that, like, what we're not fully clocking about ourselves is that we're letting fear get in the way of doing the thing because we don't want to fail loudly, and we don't have to learn the hard lessons on our own. And we didn't see anybody do that because that's not what any. That's not what the master ever says. The master usually doesn't say, actually, I failed four times to get here. I failed up, but I did fail to get here. We don't ever, like, actually watch that happen. So I think that sometimes we feel really disjointed from the process of, like, success on the other side of just doing the thing. And we want to stay at being a student. And yeah, in the grand scheme, it's like you have to go out and just. Just learn the hard lesson. Like, you are. You are your blueprint. You, like, you want somebody else to give it to you, but at the end of the day, it's going to look like their project. Like, you can go again. It's like you can go and follow the recipe. Like, that's why. That's the difference between baking and cooking. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you Want the blueprint? That's. Then you bake. Because it's. It's a science. It's. There's chemistry involved. You know what I'm saying? Physics, all the things. So, like, if you just want to take the recipe and go and do it, you can bake and then have the final result. But, like, it's not your recipe. It's still the recipe that you found on allrecipes.com. if you want to learn how to cook like your grandma did, you gotta use some personal inspiration. You gotta use your own taste buds. You gotta use too much salt a few times, you know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta use the wrong grease. You gotta salt the pan. You know what I'm saying? You gotta grease the pan the wrong way. Like, those things you can only learn by doing it yourself. Like, the best chefs in our family just have their own recipes, and they're just moving from the heart. And if we want to be that kind of chef in our own kitchen, you just gotta do the thing.
- [51:51]
Sheila Marie
You gotta do the thing. Okay, so I have a few questions from the audience. Actually, I told them I was gonna interview you, and they. And let's see what. Some good questions. So actually, a lot of them you've already answered. So, like what, Speaking of students, what's the best way to stay creative while I'm in grad school and working and not make it feel like a task?
- [52:17]
Kendra Austin
That's a good question. That's a really good question. I think. I think that when we're limited for time and again, this is a very real thing. Like, I don't like when people like toxic positivity our way out of. Out of real, genuine time constraint. Like, that's a real thing. I think that, like, incorporating creativity, again, as a broader concept versus, like, I've allotted this to painting or I've. I've said I'm going to sit down and do paint by numbers. I think rather than thinking that that's what creativity is, I think inserting creativity into things that you're already doing is more valuable. So, for example, like I said, if you inserted, like, you know, you say you're a student. If you inserted creativity, as in challenging yourself to going to a new coffee shop every single day versus the same one that you go to, I think that that is creativity because you're interacting with the new environment. You interact with a new barista. You have to choose a different item. I think that, like, inserting a little spark of something wild and something different into your practice Already is allowing creativity to find you versus having to go out and like, choose to do crochet today for 30 minutes. It's like, that might not be your bag, you know? Like, I, for a long time was like a fierce hobbyist because I, I was like in the process of, of writing my oracle deck and my newsletter, and I had started a book. And when I was in that process a few years back, I was really challenged with time. But I realized I don't think I'll ever. I don't think I'll have enough energy for all of this if I don't put other creative stuff in, because now my creativity is allotted to something else like that I've like, signed up for, you know, and now it feels like work. I literally signed up for a, a ceramics class on top of that. So I, I inserted ceramics, a brand new craft that's very hard and also expensive, into this huge thing. And I felt like, oh my God, like, how am I gonna do this? But straight up, so many of my stories came to me while I was sitting at the wheel. Like, I. It's kind of what we were talking about earlier. It's like just simply inserting the wild card. That is like a really extreme of the thing that she's asking, right? And I'm saying, like, it can be done. Like, maybe, maybe the way that you create more time is by allotting time to something that you actually enjoy. Like, the definition of burnout is not that we're doing too much, it's that we're doing too much out of our actual natural order. So I think that, like, a lot of your exhaustion is more likely coming from the fact that the majority of your time is being used for obligations versus the things that you want. I don't think that creative tasks ever really feel like tasks once you're doing them. So the answer might be either just do the thing and actually sign up for a class that you have to go to. Sign up for something that you have to go to because you already paid the money and once you get there, I think you'll really enjoy it, or create a simplest, a more simple version of creativity, which is simply generating something new into your schedule. Go to a new coffee shop, maybe try a new drink while you're. You know what I'm saying? While you're doing the things that you're doing. Take a new route to work. Like take a new route to class. Stop and talk to a stranger more often. Like, I, again, kind of all of these things I was talking about earlier, like, I think that imagining creativity as being something more out of the box than like doing paint by numbers is really important.
- [55:57]
Sheila Marie
Last question from the audience is, how do I get paid to be creative?
- [56:04]
Kendra Austin
You have to do the creative thing often, more often than the average person. That's, that's really it. You have to do the, the thing more often than the average person. Like, I think, I think working on the Internet actually helps you understand this because people are always like, oh, like, you know, how do I. How do I become a content creator? And I think this translates to literally everything. I'm like, well, you have to make content more than the average person. That's, that's what makes a content creator. You post one video every three months, babe. That's why you're not a content. You need to post four videos a day. And now you're a content creator.
- [56:42]
Sheila Marie
Okay, got it. I love that answer.
- [56:44]
Kendra Austin
You know, it's like, you just have to do it more than most. And I think that that helps people know, that that helps the world know. And, you know, actually, like, I'm doing this right now. I've been on the Internet for almost 10 years, actually many years before that, because I was an original. I was an original Tumblr girl in. But I've been working on the Internet for almost 10 years. I have only just now started putting my foot on people's necks. I. I decided that this year I was like, I have always kind of again, told myself what I thought was a, an encouragement, but really was a limiting belief that I'm just naturally kind of good at the Internet and I can just prop my phone up and talk my shit and people resonate, and those are the videos that people always resonate with the most is when I'm just speaking to audience and I feel that, I feel that energy and that flow. But I realized that, like, I was also creating this, like, kind of this really finite glass house around myself that's easily broken because I felt like I was seeing this pattern of like. But I don't get to do the fun stuff. Like, I feel like I like, can't do, like, like grocery hauls. I can't do food reviews. I can't do. You know what I'm saying? I can't do ootd. I can't do makeup tutorials because I put myself in this box. And also I don't necessarily have that every single day. Like, I don't have this, like, you know, divine thought sent from God that can't, you know what I'M saying that that came from hours of therapy and reading all the books. Like, sometimes I don't have that for the world. So what do I do when I just want to have fun? And can I withstand the fact that that won't be immediately what everybody loves? It's not going to get the hits, not going to do. Do straight numbers. And I just decided, like, I think that if I want to become known as a different kind of creator, then I have to just simply create that. And that's what I. That's what I've been doing. I'm posting four to five videos a day. Every single day. I'm posting them on all four to.
- [58:40]
Sheila Marie
Five videos a day.
- [58:41]
Kendra Austin
Yeah. Yeah. And I was stuck in 400 view jail for. For months, and I've only just now broken through. And honestly, every single day has been a joy and a delight to me. I realize, oh, I really does this. Like, I just love. I love creating. I love creating, and it's fun. And I'm learning a new do you.
- [59:02]
Sheila Marie
Batch create or what strategy to create that many videos?
- [59:05]
Kendra Austin
I. I call it content maxing. I call it content maxing. I'm just documenting everything. But my goal of the year for creation all around was that I'm no longer. I'm showing and not telling. I want you to show me my. I want to show you my beautiful life. I don't want to tell you how I got it, because that's your work. So I'm just showing. I'm just documenting every part of my life. If I'm. If I'm going shopping, I'm like, oh, like, maybe the girls don't know about this place. Maybe they don't know that this is how I actually shop. Maybe they don't know my thought process. Like, they don't know me, you know? So, like, I'll just literally just post up my camera. I went to 2nd Street Thrift Store the other day, consignment shop the other day. And I was like, I'm just gonna show everybody what I think is cute in here and what I'm not buying. And then I'm gonna go into the fitting room and put everything on just like I would anyway. And I'm gonna show them what doesn't fit, show them what does fit, show them what I thought would fit differently. I'm gonna tell them what I left in here because I didn't have the money for it today, but I might be coming back for it because that's what people do when they're at the Store. I'm like, oh, that's really cute, but I don't think I need that right now. Right. You know, like, I'm just showing. I'm just showing instead of telling. And I think that. Yeah. And it's honestly felt like, way less work than having to, like, think of concepts. I'm like, I just am simply going to show you my life. Like, when I go with my homegirl, like, I'm gonna show you what we're gabbing about. You know, it's like when I'm going to. When I'm just on my little walk. Like, right now I have a segment that's like a day in the life of Dilly Dally. And. And it's just like, I'm doing a bunch of nothing. But that's what, you know, it's like, that's what I'm doing today. So that's what I'm gonna show you. I love that. I'm just keeping it simple, you know, I love that.
- [60:45]
Sheila Marie
Speaking of simple and useful, we are at the toolkit section of the interview. And so what creative spirit tool do you have to put in their unruly toolkit?
- [61:01]
Kendra Austin
Okay, I've got that. I've got one. I've got one that I think is really, really important. And it is more. Do. Do more of the thing. Do more as much of the thing as you can. I think that. And. And that that goes with everything. Like, in our. In our mental framework, we're so obsessed with how it is and why it is. And I think that just simply doing as much of anything that you want to do as possible is the goal. Just do as much as possible. And it doesn't matter whether or not you send it out into the world. You. You will get to that when you feel it's right. But I find that most people who are doing a lot of something have no choice but to send it out into the world because it becomes overwhelming to sit in. It's like. It's like if you made 1 million cookies a day and you didn't give them to anybody. So I think, you know, I'm saying it's like, you can't eat them. You can't. You can't eat them. It's like they have to go somewhere. That's why we put them in. That's why during Christmas, you make all the cookies and you put them in tens and you give them to your loved ones. So I think that, like, in the spiritual toolkit, something that I've really incorporated more than anything is Just doing as much of the things that I love as possible and, like, not really being concerned with, like, oh, like, I do. I have time. It's like, okay, if all I have is five day. If all I have is five minutes of meditation today and that helps me with my creative process, that's fine. Tomorrow I might have 15. The day after that I might have 50. If today's fine, five, that's so fine. Because I will have 15 tomorrow and 50 the day after that. It doesn't matter. I'm just doing as much of it as I can today. It doesn't matter what the confines are or the things that we tell ourselves make it limiting. Right. I think that, like, this is all something that I learned in my hobbies. Like I said when I. When I was doing ceramics, I realized that what was really upsetting about ceramics that is upsetting in all creative processes, is that you actually have to make a lot of everything you're making. In the majority of it, you put it into the kiln. So you make like 15 cups. You might get three of them at the end. You spent hours making these cups and you gotta glaze them, and then you put them into the kiln and in the kiln, they might burst or they might become a different color. They might. The glaze might not have gone. Like, you have no idea what's happening when they're in the kiln. To me, the kiln is like, what happens when it goes out into the world. You don't know what's gonna happen to it, who's gonna receive it, but you still had to make 15 of them. And actually, if I had more time, I would've made more because I just loved doing it. So you just need to be in your creative process and make as much as possible. Make so much more.
- [63:47]
Sheila Marie
Yeah. I love that you do it because you have to get it out.
- [63:50]
Kendra Austin
Yeah.
- [63:51]
Sheila Marie
Woo. Kendra, thank you. This was a masterclass in creative courage. You know, I feel like this conversation was necessary not just for artists, but for anyone who has ever had an idea sacred to themselves. Before we wrap up, I want to let people know where they can find you, where they can support your work and stay connected to everything you got going on.
- [64:15]
Kendra Austin
You can find me at Kendra on all platforms. Twitter, TikTok, Instagram. You can find me on Kendraawson.com that's where I update on a lot of my recent work. You can buy my Oracle Deck, the realest Oracle on all independent booksellers. Bookshop.org you should go there. Not. Not the big not the big orange one. You can find me on kendraawson.subsack.com my newsletter come home and yeah, that's it.
- [64:43]
Sheila Marie
Thank you girls. I hope they flock to you because I feel that you gave so many gems and also didn't even get to touch on all of the things that you do.
- [64:53]
Kendra Austin
I heard so much about it.
- [64:54]
Sheila Marie
Please follow Kendra. She does so many cool things. I was like, what? You have a psilocybin cannabis delivery ser like, follow her y' all. She's amazing.
- [65:03]
Kendra Austin
Thank you so much.
- [65:04]
Sheila Marie
I hope that this episode planted a seed for our listeners. I hope it made you question some of the things you've been taught about creativity and purpose. And most of all, I hope you I hope it gave you permission to go after the thing that's been pulling at you. Thank you so much, Kendra, for joining us at Unruly, and I'll see you next time. Thank you. If you have something on your mind, a question or something you want me to answer, just send in a voice note@speakpipe.com unruly I can't wait to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. Be sure to follow or subscribe so you never, ever, ever, ever miss an episode of Unruly.